Randy Scobey's Blog

Mugwump Ramblings–Marriage (Yay!), Epstein Files (Finally!), Democrat Leadership (Where?)

For those that don’t know, a mugwump according to the googles is:

Definition from Oxford Languages–mug·wump /ˈməɡˌwəmp/ noun– a person who remains aloof or independent, especially from party politics.

“I’ve often depicted her as a mugwump sitting on a fence”

Isn’t It Great I Am Still Married?!

The week started off with a big ‘ol grin. Kim Davis and her “counsel” were sent packing when they went to the Supreme Court in an effort to overturn Obergerfell (legalized gay marriage). From NBC:

WASHINGTON ...

Sexplorer Saturday–Self & Confidence

Looking back, I see how much I’ve grown—from the fearful, self-conscious person I once was to someone who’s learning to embrace both vulnerability and connection. It’s not about becoming perfect or fearless, but about realizing that real intimacy and self-acceptance come from letting go of shame, not hiding from it. Every step—even the awkward, uncomfortable ones—has helped me move toward a more honest, compassionate relationship with myself and with others.

How did your sense of self and confide...

Last Night Is A Huge Win for Dems, But What About My Marriage?

Today, though, is a day to revel (not gloat) in the Democratic victories and I am!

They are winning everything…

I was checking my phone late last night, and my eyes just lit up! I told a friend, “The Democrats are really doing it—they’re sweeping the board with HUGE numbers! From Governors to state positions, Prop 50, and even the Mayor of NYC… it’s all happening!”

My friend started crying, like, really hard.

I’m so happy about what happened last night. Honesty and Hope have won!

My biggest worry is ...

The One Thought That Stuck With Me In October 2025

Looks nothing like me but I share his nonverbal concern

I am glad that I have her (mom) within me. This mediation has brought a new depth of love and understanding toward her I didn’t know I needed.

“Oh my god I know that face!”…

…I said aloud when I caught my reflection in the mirror while I was sitting at the table crocheting a blanket.

Not kidding!

My mom doesn’t crochet, but when she’s thinking, resting, worrying, or even breathing, she has a distinct way of communicating through a lot of non-ver...

What role did guilt or shame play in your sexual journey, and how did you work through those feelings?

…for my sexual growth, it was placing my partner’s needs as important as my own, allowing pleasure-based love to sweep me up in *our* moment… that’s where the growth happened, and the walls of misconceptions, known and unknown, came crumbling down.

I guess Saturdays are for Sexploration, lol. Folks, Thrive is made up of four different “newsletters” and you can unsubscribe from one without having to fully unsubscrive to all. For some, this topic isn’t your cup of tea but you do like/enjoy the othe...

Do Not Despise Small Beginnings

Life is full of surprises; not all of them are pleasant. But they can all be understood and turned for good.

Getting Promoted From Executive Vice President to Stocking Groceries

“Randy, can we walk with you as you go in the store to get some b-roll?” said the camera person for the Netflix film “Pray Away” that I was in. I instantly felt ashamed and embarrassed as I looked at my green uniform shirt, name tag, Dickies work pants and sensible rubber soled shoes. On the verge of tears I replied, “Mayb...

Going From 24 Years Of Celibacy To Being Sexually Active (and really liking it) Gay Man

Even until a few years ago, I had a LOT of fears I didn’t know about. A lot of hangups. And today, the journey is still unfolding. I am enjoying each step and each experience along the way.

I Was, And Still Am, A Weird Date

In my coming out post published on January 12th, 2015, I wrote straight out of my big gay heart. I had the urge to reread it the other day, and while a lot stood out to me, this made me laugh:

Currently I am not dating. I have not been dating. I have not had a sexual partner in ...

The Story Behind My #FuckYeah Pendant

I like the reminder that this is a healthy self-affirmation and not simply decoration.

This Silver Pendant Tells A Story of Resilience

I have worn this pendant almost daily for around 12 years. An actor/model friend in Los Angeles started getting healthier, and I found him inspiring. He and a few other healthy living type guys became my muses for losing weight. And I lost close to 85 lbs. When I hit that goal, I told my actor friend, and he helped me connect with an artisan who works with pure sil...

I'm So Glad You Are Here

A Note from Randy

If you’ve found your way here to my Substack, welcome — truly. This little corner of the internet is where I share things that matter to me: stories that linger, reflections that (hopefully) spark your own, and bits of humor to remind us not to take it all too seriously.

I believe in thoughtful conversation over noise, in kindness over cleverness (though I won’t pretend not to aim for both), and in the quiet power of words to meet us where we are. My Substack is where those words...

Closet Curses Part 5–The Abused Becoming The Abuser

Quick Note: Here are links to the previous posts concerning this series:

(Part 3 has links to the first two IG Reels discussing money and self-loathing)

Hard Writing…

I’m an abuse survivor, as I’ve mentioned in my book and this series. I suffered physical abuse at least three or four times a week. My trauma therapist asked me to describe a few people in my life, and I called them my daily emotional terrorists. I was sexually assaulted several times as a child, including by a family member, a babys...