C. Nzingha Smith's Blog, page 7

Lunchtime Love Meditation: Music of My Heart

Music of My Heart, Nicole C. Mullen




Listen to the song and let it relax you.

If you can, close your eyes.

Take deep breaths.




As you inhale:

Breathe in unconditional love as you want to experience it.

Allow your lips to curl into a smile at the thought.

Accept your not having to be perfect to experience this kind of love.

 Fully embrace your adequacy just as you are, flaws & all.






"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you."

Isiah 43:4  NIV





As you exhale:

Release every feeling of inadequacy.

Breathe out low self-esteem.

Let go of the negative, condemning self-talk. 

Let loose the harmful energy you feel concerning love.



We are all "under construction".

Knowing this allows us to let go of the false ideals we have about love.

Releasing negative emotions and feeling allow you to paint a new picture of the possibilities of love and how you want the experience to be.

Take comfort in knowing...The best is yet to come!

You win!



Question: What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? No Go Do It!

"We don't say it enough, so we don't hear it enough." I love you!



Thanks for letting me love on you today!

C. Nzingha Smith 



C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

The Relationship Oxymoron

Photo courtesy of Glamalife


"Become the kind of person, the kind of person 

you would like to marry, would like to marry." Douglas Wilson




I hear the advice of relationship "experts" and "authorities" on the subject of finding and keeping a man or woman. The meat of their advice has to do with what we should be "looking" for in the other person. Wrong. What they're not telling us is, what we "look" for in others, we have to possess ourselves. Our expectations aren't unrealistic, they just aren't being owned by us. For example: We want him/her to be body-tastic and we don't like working out or eating right. Result: Gut and cellulite. Really? Let me yell into the bullhorn for a sec, we have to be what we want to attract. We are magnets.




We have to take responsibility for ourselves. We aren't victims. This means, if we want something better, we have to do better, fundamentally. It's easier, we think to work on the other person. We desire our mate to be perfect, to balance out our being ratchet. Is that fair to them? I'm sure they'd agree it's not. Not only is it unfair, it's also unnecessary, because you have the power to work and improve you. You have NO control over the other person at all. "When we don't want to deal with ourselves, we take the focus off of us and we put the focus on other people." Bishop Terrell Murphy



I've learned through my relationship lessons, that I couldn't have expectations of my partner that I didn't possess myself. If I wanted him to be kind, I had to be kind. I'm caring, so in turn it made him desire to care for me. I'm learning how to be a better me and in turn, in places where they say, "there are no good men", I've found this statement a blatant lie. There are plenty of "good men" available and willing, but the "relationship oxymoron" of something for nothing has made women's vision blurry and expectations unrealistic for the sake of this example (men as well). They want value where they have none to give in return. There is no such thing as something for nothing, it merely just doesn't exist. Relationships are not the exception. A relationship is not an ATM, we can't just make withdrawals and no deposits. It has to be a mutually beneficial experience.



You want to know what to do to get the type of mate you desire? Model the behavior you desire. Be friendly, loving, kind, caring, funny, outgoing, intelligent, successful, financially stable, a good cook, well traveled. You have control over your part. If, you don't know how, learn. To be loved, you have to be loving. Start with making yourself friendly, this makes you attractive. We don't need any more books on why, now we can shift the focus on how to do better. Starting with Lust Have! Learn how to nourish the people you love.



With Love & Gratitude,

~C. NzinghaC. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Lunchtime Love Meditation: Fix You

Love Meditation: Fix You, Coldplay




Listen to the song and let it relax you.

If you can, close your eyes.

Take slow deep breaths.



As you exhale:

Forgive yourself for not being able to fix it, yourself or others.

Forgive every person who has ever hurt you.

Release the bitterness from the disappointment of the bad experiences.

Rinse off the residue of not understanding.

You aren't supposed to carry the responsibility of fixing yourself or others.

Do the best you can with what you've been given. It's all that's required of you.




God can handle the rest. God is the only one who can fix you & them.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 

II Corinthians 12:9

"Cast all of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7



As you inhale:

Breathe in the love that's all around you.

Let peace give you a deep tissue massage.

Embrace the sanity of knowing you don't have to have all the answers.

Enjoy the joy which you are now welcoming into your life.



You can only receive when your hands are open and free.

Let go of the things clenched in your hands, you don't need them anymore.

Take comfort in knowing, the best is yet to come!

You haven't lost anything...You win!



Question: What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Now Go Do It!

"We don't say it enough, so we don't hear it enough." I love you! 







Thanks for letting me love on you today!

C. Nzingha Smith

C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

These Boots Were Made for Walking...Away

Photo Courtesy of Zoe Life Mag


"Bless the ones that walk away from you, 

they're just making room for the ones that won't." J. Johnson 







He or she was there and now they're gone. You consider it a loss, when you gained so much from the experience of having had them present, for however long. Either they chose to walk away or they knew their time in your life was up. They'd come and accomplished what they were purposed to do. Have you ever stopped to think about their leaving as a win? Instead of a loss? Do you realize nothing in life is arbitrary? Everything has a reason, a season and a due time, to come and to go. People and things show up in our lives when we need them. They are blessings when they arrive, but we want to curse them as they leave. Weren't you just blessed by their presence? Time spent? Memories created? Didn't they add value to your life? Help you in some way? Pose a solution to a problem? Well, it's safe to say, it's a win/win. Right?




Human nature has taught us that when the season or time ends, their departure has to carry with it a feeling of loss or negative emotion. However, their walking away from you means their time is up. You've been blessed, the problem has been solved and it's time to keep moving. Change is the only constant in our lives. Knowing this but not accepting it, we reject the natural progression of our relationships. We reject the opportunity to hold on to the lessons learned, the memories created and the great time shared. We choose to take our focus off the good and channel all our energy, in watching them walk away. Take the focus off the person. Focus instead on what was provided in the time shared. Was it laughter? Great food? A shoulder to cry on? An activity buddy? Love shared? Well those things provided, can never "leave" you, they are with you for as long as you need to hold on to them. These things are present with you, whether the physical person is or not.



Now there is a difference between those who choose to walk away and those whose time is up and are meant to move on. For those not purposed for our lives, it's easy and best for them to walk away from us. Their walking away is good and necessary because if you're not purposed or useful, you will be harmful instead. I've learned ( the hard way ) to allow my relationships to evolve naturally. I no longer try to control the outcome, which means the experiences are richer. I focus less on the person and more on what I gain from their presence. When the time comes for them to walk away or me perhaps, I send them off with blessings instead of curses. My life is richer for having had them present. I hold on to that treasure and look forward to having more treasure added to me as a result. Whether they choose to walk away or their task is complete, the time will come when they have to exit. There's no need to focus on them walking away. They're making room for what's to come. Look in the direction of what's to come! With this perspective we have more to celebrate and we don't ruin or forget the beauty of their having stopped by. We hold on to the lessons and the memories of them enriching our lives and loving us. It really is a win/win!



With Love & Gratitude,

~C. Nzingha
C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

February Prayer | Life's Bricks

Photo courtesy of National Geographic





The road ahead looks a bit blurry. January has flown by and we're now in February 2013. New Year's resolutions were made and we were off to a good start. Then we looked around and realized despite our good feelings, best efforts and strong attempts at keeping things positive, nothing seems like it changed much, since the new year started. If it has, it's definitely not happening the way you pictured it would. This can be discouraging and cause you to get off course or stop altogether. I'm in the place of fighting off a feeling of discouragement and this evening I had to stop and pray and wanted to share my prayer as I encouraged myself, I felt there might be someone else who needs it too. Remembering that delay is not denial.




My prayer for Us for February: I speak to the gifts that are on the inside of us, to be stirred up in a way that overtakes us, for the benefit of others. I speak against the limitations we've put on ourselves and the one's we've accepted from others. We are walking miracles! We are powerful beyond belief, we are conquerors of the impossible! I speak against fear, doubt, self-sabotage, inadequacy, low self-esteem, laziness, defeat, every single negative word that has ever been spoken to us and the acceptance of failure. I speak peace, joy, love, hope, power and a sound & renewed mind into our lives on a daily basis. This is our new normal. Everything is possible for those who believe. I pray we will go back to believing in ourselves. I pray against every type of distraction that tries to pull us away from our purpose & destiny. I pray no matter what, no matter how it looks, or what we are facing, we don't lose hope. I pray courage over us to keep pressing and a stubbornness to the point of reaching success as the only option we will accept. It's in Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.




"We die faster not from disease or illness, but from a loss of hope." C. Nzingha




"As life throws you bricks, don't let life beat you with them, build yourself a mansion instead." C. Nzingha




Keep believing. We win! Let's keep each other covered in prayer & love. Please share this with someone who might need it. Read it as often as you might need to be reminded.  If there is anything specific you would like me to pray with you about, reply to this email and let me know. Don't forget throughout this month & year...You Win! Go back and start again...it's never too late. Start from NOW!




With Love & Gratitude,

~C. Nzingha
C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Communicating in Love | Boys vs Men

Do you find yourself wondering whether the men you attract are in fact men? Are you dating a tall 10 year old? Is it hard for you to tell? Separating the men from the boys is often a daunting task for us ladies. Age and maturity are not equal. I found this great post on different ways of telling the boys apart from the men. Some women however prefer to date boys and not men. It really depends on your level of maturity and needs. Enjoy!



Click link to read post: Are you Dating a Boy or a Man? 9 Ways to Tell



With Gratitude,



~C. NzinghaC. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Communicating in Love: Be Open to Learn a New Language

Learning how to speak another language is difficult, but possible if one studies, has a desire and is willing to practice until they become fluent. The better you get at it, the more enjoyable it becomes. As you work at it, the language becomes more natural to you, until eventually you master it. It's impossible however, to learn any language if you're closed off to the process. The same is true in communicating love to your partner. The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman gave us the general categories of our love languages: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. Everyone has a specific way in which they communicate in love. There is no one size fits all approach.




Hence it always puzzles me when I hear people justify their lack of openness with excuses like; "I am who I am", "I'm not going to change who I am", or "I love a certain way and it either works for you or it doesn't." Basically what you're really saying is: I'm afraid, lazy or uninterested.


You don't change or abandon your native language when you decide to study a new one. You use the new one to enhance your overall language skills. Same goes for communicating in love. Every relationship is unique. As are the people in them and as people change and evolve, the relationship will naturally need to change and evolve as well. When I was 10, I didn't mind you pulling my hair or socking me on the arm to show that you liked me. Now that I'm a woman, I'm going to need you to be able to express your interest/feelings in a way I can receive them and give you the response you want. 




Learning the basics only gets you so far though. In order to connect on another level and experience a turning point in your relationship, you will need to take it a step further. Pay attention. Ask questions. Be willing to try and fail until you get it right. Be unselfish, it's not a tit-for-tat. It needs to come from a genuine place of desire. You too will benefit from the happiness and joy you add to your partner's life. 




Do you know your partner's specific love language? The first step is being open to learning a new language. Anytime you acquire something, knowledge or tangible possessions, it adds value to you in some way. If you value your partner & want to explore love with them, it will benefit you to learn how they communicate in love. The benefits are plenty for all involved and enhances your love experience when you both are speaking the same language. We will get more in depth in the posts to come.




With Gratitude,




~C. Nzingha

"Right communication changes everything. Change your words, change your life."
C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Press Reset | Starting from NOW

"Life doesn't come with a reset button. Start fresh from where you are NOW."

~C. Nzingha




Happy first day of 2013! I'm excited at how bright the future looks. I'm starting the year off with a bright smile and a renewed determination to WIN! Please read the previous post, "My Prayer for 2013" as I hope it will be a blessing to you and speak to your dreams and goals for the year ahead! 




It's been a few years since I started this blog. When I first started, it was a place of  recording "Cdot Randomness", thoughts and experiences while I navigated through the maze of life. Getting a bit more focused and intentional, I then began to write "Words to Move us Forward", where I blogged from an inspirational quote and gave insight on how to keep moving forward despite the obstacles we face on the paths to our dreams. 




Looking ahead and getting laser sharp this year, I am going to focus on "Right Communication" going forward. There are three things I discovered I'm insanely passionate about: love, communication (the written word) and food.





Check the navigation bar for new pages which will include me sharing my favorite things, including recipes, events, books and the like. New items, upcoming events, and other updates will be noted on the side panel. Join my mailing list and get special promotions on upcoming titles, discounts on partner products and services and other perks. Join in the discussion by leaving your comments and let me know if there are any topics you want to see included on "Communicating in Love."




We are starting 2013 fresh from NOW. I hope you enjoy the content and will engage me in thought and insight as we help each other do better daily. "Right communication changes everything. Change your words, change your life."




With Gratitude,




~C. Nzingha
C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Happy New Year | My 2013 Prayer

Happy New Year!! I speak wonderful blessings of overwhelming abundance, love, joy, peace, good physical, emotional and spiritual health and daily sanity into our lives this year! Be grateful at all times for everything. I pray the gifts that have lied dormant inside of us, be stirred up, that we will take them and bless others. Most of all I pray we learn to love this year as we've never loved before, with our entire being, unconditionally as God loves us.  I pray we will be open to the possibilities and dream with the innocence of a child. I pray a covering of protection over us & our children and that we prioritize better this year and really pour into the people [first] and things [second] that matter most in our lives. I pray we learn how to live and not just survive. I pray we pray for each other like never before and keep each other covered in the times ahead. We need each other. Period.



P.S. Don't ever give up! You're are closer than ever before! Keep going! There are exciting things ahead and in store if you can just keep pushing forward!



With Love & Gratitude for you,



~C. NzinghaC. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.

Chocolate Kiss | Holiday Dessert Recipe

CHOCOLATE KISS 

[No Bake White Chocolate Cheesecake]









IN-GREDIENTS

8 oz cream cheese, softened

2 cups white chocolate chips

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

2 cups frozen whipped topping, thawed

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup butter, softened

1 chocolate graham cracker crust

2 tablespoons of shortening








Combine white chocolate chips with 1 tablespoon of
shortening in a microwave safe bowl.

Microwave ingredients for 30 second intervals until melted.

Stir consistently until smooth and shiny.

In a separate microwave safe bowl combine semi-sweet
chocolate chips and 1 teaspoon of shortening.

Microwave until melted and stir until smooth. Reserve
mixture for garnishing.

In a large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, and butter
until smooth.

Add melted white chocolate to the mixture and blend using
hand mixer on low speed for 2-3 minutes.

Fold in whipped topping until well blended and creamy.

Spoon filling into chocolate graham cracker crust.

Drizzle smoothed semi-sweet chocolate mix on top of filling
in a zigzag pattern.

Cover with saran wrap and place in freezer for 30 minutes or
until firm.

Transfer to refrigerator until ready to serve.




[Serves 6]




Did-You-Know




Kiss Meanings




Kiss on the hand: I adore you.

Kiss on the cheek: I just want to be friends.

Kiss on the chin: you are cute.

Kiss on the neck: I want you.




* * *




Chocolate Kiss and other delectable aphrodisiac recipes, sensual poetry and relationship tips can be found in Lust Have Recipes, Aphrodisiac Cookbook. Great for holiday entertaining and beyond. It's a gift that will continue to add value to your love life, cooking skills and overall health & wellness. There are six days left to order in time for Christmas gift giving. Click HERE to order today! 
C. Nzingha Smith, Principal at SNC2 INK & Get Off Pause Consulting. A Solutionist & Author.