Lela Davidson's Blog, page 17
March 5, 2013
Remote Control: A Rant
Which one of these remotes is not like the others? That is to say, which one of them works? Oh, what’s that you say? NONE of them work? Of course. That’s reasonable.
These are the three of the remote controls it takes to run my television and assorted other accessories, depending on whether of not we want to watch tv or a movie and/or broadcast the audio in stereo sound (with or without the back yard speakers.) Actually we have one more remote, a dirty looking white one for the Wii (what, that...
March 4, 2013
Playgrounds Moms Will Love to Visit
You know what’s funny? Alternative playground equipment designed with Mom truly in mind.
Grown-up playgrounds (with actual adult-sized playground equipment) are supposed to help parents get in shape and set a better example for their children. But aren’t playground-age kids workout enough? Never underestimate the caloric burn of sprinting to protect adventurous tots from oncoming traffic, squatting to pick up every last Lego, and lunging to rescue the cat from too much toddler love.
While Mommy...
March 2, 2013
Quotes, Kale, Barbie, & Babies
Don’t miss a single thing! This week on the blog we covered some very important topics:
Funny Quotes About Motherhood
Secret Kale Recipe Kids Will Eat
How to Be Annoying, In a Good Way
Remembering Whore Barbie
Best Borderline Illegal Way to Get Your Baby to Sleep
Related posts:
Remembering Whore Barbie
Thanks for the Whore Barbie
Funny Quotes About Motherhood
March 1, 2013
Best Borderline Illegal Way to Get Your Baby to Sleep
Babies are hard, especially when they don’t sleep. I was lucky in that mine basically slept through the night as soon as they came home from the hospital. It helped that they were big. I happen to be 5 foot 1 of Big Baby Makin’ MACHINE. But here’s the problem, when you have a baby who sleeps five or six hours at a stretch, you get greedy. You want seven.
Good thing I had a trick. Watch the video to find out what I did. It might work for you, or one of the tips from the other iVillage iVoices m...
February 28, 2013
Remembering Whore Barbie
The Whore Barbie is an oldie but a goodie. I originally wrote this back in 2008 and it stands the test of still-sort-of-like-it. It is one of the essays in Blacklisted from the PTA and I read it at the Listen To Your Mother Open Mic Salon at BlogHer ’11 for some bawdy bloggers. I also read it at a book signing party in Fayetteville, Arkansas for a living room full of hockey moms. The bloggers liked it better. Know your audience, they say. So let me know, what do you think? If you like, please...
February 27, 2013
How to Be Annoying In a Good Way
Want to get found online? Be annoying. In a good way.
While you never want to annoy your audience, to be an effective marketer you must get comfortable with annoying yourself. People do not pay attention to all your cute marketing messages and pleas to buy my book already! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Everyone is living their own lives. And all of our lives are busier than ever. So, just because you posted something thirty-six times on Facebook doesn’t mean anybody saw it. True...
February 26, 2013
Secret Kale Recipe Kids Will Eat
I’m into kale these days. You can imagine the joy this brings to my children.
“What are we having for dinner?”
“Bratwurst…”
“Sweeeet!”
“…with kale.”
“Oh. My. God. Mom, why do you have to ruin everything?”
What can I say? That’s how I roll.
Imagine my surprise when I heard The Girl shout out, “This is GOOD!” right before she shoved a second heaping forkful of kale into her mouth. Obviously, I had to take a picture or no one would believe me.
[Editorial Note: The Boy would like it to be known that the...
February 25, 2013
Funny Quotes About Motherhood
Classic and contemporary funny quotes about motherhood and parenting. For when you need to know you’re not alone in the insanity.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.—Tina Fey
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.—Jack Nicholson
When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes...
February 21, 2013
Spanx: A Love Story
Dear Spanx,
It’s been too long and I’m sorry. I know I take you for granted sometimes, shoving you into the back of my underwear drawer like some cast off high-waist briefs. There you patiently wait until I have a need, a serious need. Like when I want to eat the party size of Ranch Doritos all by myself and then throw on a knit dress like I’m skinny. You and your blessed interlocking fibers are always there for me. I love the way we deceive the world together. Crunches are for suckers, Lover....
February 19, 2013
Fabulous Free Podcasts for Lazy Yogis
The title essay in Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?chronicles one of my attempts to cultivate a home yoga practice. I was unsuccessful at the time, but there’s no crying in yoga. Or is that baseball? No matter. When you fall of the mat, you’ve got to get right back on. That is why I am currently attempting 40 days of yoga. In a row. That’s six weeks, give or take. And so far so good. I’m almost half way in and I feel great. I am feeling a lot more disciplined in terms of actually hitting the mat, but...
