Amy Mah's Blog, page 8

HELSING Boob protection Vampire Style The Helsing is named after Van Helsing the Vampire killer, and is a type of body armour.

HELSING Boob protection Vampire Style 
The Helsing is named after Van Helsing the Vampire killer, and is a type of body armour.




As the humans know the best way to kill us is a stake in the heart or cutting the head off. This is what they always go for - along with garlic, which is a myth created by people wanting to sell more garlic, and and holy water, which is a myth created by the church seeking donations for repairing their roofs.

Humans are a little stupid over this. As a species Vampires are very intelligent and long-lived and it didn't take us long to work out that we live a lot longer if we can stop people sticking a sharp piece of wood between our boobs.







Helsing Armour is a metal plate which fits over the heart and is fitted as standard into clothing such as "The Hunter" and "The Fighter," or added as extra detachable plating. It is worn under the shirt of the Male, and cloaks have high metal collars so to protect the neck from a sword blow. Females can have a Helsing fitted into a bodice, or have it made to look like an ornate bra.





Helsings are always designed for positioning over the heart area of the chest to make it impossible for the wearer to be stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake. It would even stop silver bullets, swords, knives or in the case of one particular nasty killing in a Vampire film, stiletto heels. Vampires are traditionalists but we are not stupid, we've seen all the films on the subject and are normally the people who laugh in a cinema when a movie Vampire did something so stupid as to let his lunch kill him.







You do not have to have expensive clothing like the 'Hunter' tight and sexy and wow does it get the food drooling  ... when going out for a quick snack. You can just wear your normal clothes, and then you can take the prey by surprise. While it is looking at your legs or looking down your top you can be getting out a packet of tissues to clean yourself up afterwards.

It is very eye catching and visually pleasing for watchers to your hunting, if you wear a light flowing dress. This is always fashionable due to the fact that it rises into the air when you spin around, giving the prey and viewers a nice flash of leg. But no matter how proud you are of your family brand, in these circumstances the best thing to wear underneath is a tight fitting pair of black cycle shorts - see the movie 'Blood the last Vampire' where you can see 'Saya' leap, spin, somersault and kill without any worry of showing off her brand to strangers. Or even the fact you are in need of a personal fainforest trim +++++++++++++ 


























https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0EvC...

Walking Bags of Blood by Amy Mah Vampire

Walking Bags of Blood by Amy Mah Vampire
I so like the idea that many vampires or should I say self proclaimed vampires call a person outside the Vampire Community a Mundane
Going from Vampires to Hogwarts sure is mixing things up.
But yes Vampires in the vampire community call non vampires Mundane
And then I get mentioned on the internet that I am insulting the food.
I get comments like this from Vampires:.. “You’re everywhere and you’re not at all nice”  Er ? … Yes and what bit of the Vampire Myth did I miss apart from perhaps Twilight that Vampires had to be nice?
Think about it Fangs, servants with strange eating habits and perhaps a castle to keep a coffin in ….but nice?
‘Amy Mah’ is quoted as saying “ Yes I am everywhere…’Walking packed Lunch’ was me being nice as I normally say  ‘Walking Bags of Blood”
Yep I also say “Walking Snack Packs”


https://thegraveyardpress.wordpress.com/2015/01/18/bubble-gum-vampires-speak/
Then is the complaint that: At issue is that she is spreading a stereotype of a dumb vampire woman.
I is? Is I?  
And this is from someone saying I upset the food, confirming that vampires today keep pets for food but it is not PC to call them food.
Heck is it such a good idea to tell the world that you do really drink peoples blood  
The idea that valued donors of the community are reasonably objectified as food, is likely to get many gnashing their teeth.
So Deacon Grey is happy to bite and drink the blood of the so called willing donors but objects to me saying that makes them sound like food.
The food is willing food so that is ok? Errrr? Wow that is so not a can of worms to open here or should I say that sort of  blood vessel is best left unbitten.
Deacon Grey then complains about the advice I give to non humans?
Yes NON HUMANS reading what I say may get confused?


Wow I am sorry to hear that, personally I have never had a non human or walking corpse ever tell me they were confused over the vampire rules that due to slow aging vampire girls are not allowed to have a boyfriend until they are over 30
This is what Deacon complains about
While at it she offers some amazing advice for young girl vampires like “Unlike Human Girls this is Doing all of the above when on heat, as this only happens every 20 years or so and starts with biting of furniture giving your parents time to lock you in your room.
Is Deacon saying he does not think a vampire girl would start biting the furniture when she discovers not only she can not have a boyfriend until she is over 30 but sex once every 20 years and becomes pregnant each and every time she does.
And from this he comments
 “and vampires are just wonton sluts who will jump the bones of any “boy” that will give them a little blood.”So silly it is the undead walking corpse type of vampire that is the walking slut and for some reason human guys forget it mixing with these undead can be called necrophilia and perhaps if they got a good job and took a bath more often they may find a girl with a heartbeat.     
I will post below the full text unlike the way Deacon Grey pick and mixed things from unrelated blogs and postings in Facebook
Now to see what I say which is so dangerous to vampires (which sounds funny as I type it)
You can always read my books … Which is something Deacon clearly has not done …lol

Now After Getting complains from the Luciferians ......... and yes it is true I do get complaints from worshipers of Lucifer 
I await with baited breath over what the Demon worshipers will complain when they hear I have also done a Demon book 






http://www.amymahvampire.com 

Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: 
www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon Amy has written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night.










Body Swap




Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation. 
Nor was having to attend a demonic high school for the magically gifted. 
When the most magical thing you could do was set your own underwear on fire.
 Life was not going to be easy, even less so with a painful tail that everyone trod on.
 Owning a magic sword that always tried to look up your skirt when fighting was not helpful. 
But then nor was having a telepathic diary that corrected your thinking instead of your spelling.
www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm








A Bubble Gum Vampires SpeakPosted: Sunday, 18 January, 2015 by deacongray in  Community Announcements ,  Uncategorized 0 ” But should we bother listening?” [image error]
1/18/2015 © Graveyard pressIn 2009 voices from the east proclaimed the possession of donors and restrictions on their participation with in their segment of the VC. A few thousand facebook posts, bitter words, and open threats later, the dead horse had been turned into glue, and the left over hide used for alter pieces to the damned.By 2011 the subject was in full swing again, news organizations lambasted the damn gall of those who again went on their anti-donor rights rampage, but the donors were not long in the shadows of that fight. From that debate we saw groups emerge, great documents presented, the time tested Donors Bill of Rights, by Zaar, and the Donor and Vampires guide to negotiations that I wrote. Still…this particular horse is pale, and even though the rider is death, the subject comes alive once more.The bubble gum vampire wasn’t put off by the admonitions of people within the group in which she posted her article either.  To one who stated “You’re everywhere and you’re not at all nice”Bubble Gum vampire ‘Amy Mah’ is quoted as saying “ Yes I am everywhere…’Walking packed Lunch’ was me being nice as I normally say  ‘walking Bags of Blood”
Of course this is coming from a fictional character of a girl that must be in her mid teens, whose articles focus on things such as “Base: When dating it is handy to know the code words of what you are doing with each other…believe it or not others have done it before, they even numbered it!”Where she goes on to explain what getting from first base to fifth base ,means (I Know…I know.. Babe Ruth just died again), and ponders about the mystery of why boys like boobs. While at it she offers some amazing advice for young girl vampires like “Unlike Human Girls this is Doing all of the above when on heat, as this only happens every 20 years or so and starts with biting of furnature giving your perants time to lock you in yuour room.it is also called getting pregnant and discovering that you have not just raised your tail and instantly got pregnant! as I said you are on heat But, due to a bonding contract signed years ago by your parents, you now have a lifetime mate!”Suffice it to say, this is hardly the depth of knowledge, or the intellectual debates we saw before, but it is a long way from being really dangerous.  Regardless of the intention, either tongue in cheek, a game of meta-fiction, or the playful intentions of a graphic novel writer, there are some misconceptions that sneak passed, and some that will fire people up. The idea that valued donors of the community are reasonably objectified as food, is likely to get many gnashing their teeth.“It’s not that she is just some kid flapping her lips that’s a problem. At issue is that she is spreading a stereotype of a the dumb vampire woman. This kid is so busy trying to feel smart, sexy and powerful, that she misses the point. Your power is diminished when you act like a bubble headed ding bat. Using what you think are clever words to gain attention don’t just make her look dimwitted, but spread that stereotype that all goths and vampires are just wonton sluts who will jump the bones of any “boy” that will give them a little blood.”Clearly there are some heated opinions about this subject. One of the issues though is that what was said, was said in a mundane vampire fandom site. If left there, I doubt it would have mattered, but as they things do, the conversation slips into other forums, and it doesn’t take long for people to get riled up.  Over time I have heard both sides use some pretty strong language when dealing with it, but is that really the answer?Is it really for the best  overall to allow these confused individuals to provoke such an angry response that we lose our own cool? Often they are doing it just to get us to become upset.  When celebrity is the goal, attention either negative or positive is the means of achieving it. In this case the community’s outrage is being used as stepping stone.My suggestion is this. Take what was said to provoke an intelligent intellectual discussion with everyone except the person who made the crappy comment. Don’t allow them to become the center of their own shit storm, instead objectify them as the provocateurs they are, and turn it into a reasonable discussion.In the end there will always be  people who say stupid things to get a rise from you. There will always be bullies, brutes and bubble headed ding bats, but they can only affect you as much as you allow them too. After all, do you really want to be in a word battle with someone who says things like
“FIRST BASEOK, this is the one we normally call making out, and unless you are on heat it stops at kissing, hugging and generally grabbing at each other. At this stage you can bite a boy but he is not allowed to bite you back.”In the end, even if you win the debate, you have only won against a fictional character, or a writer who uses that character to slip out of accountability for her own words.
http://www.amazon.com/Smoking-Hot-Dia...

Comprehensive interview with Anthony Hogg a vampirologist, on absolutely everything Vampire

Comprehensive interview with Anthony Hogg a vampirologist, on absolutely everything Vampire
Anthony Hogg started his fascination with all things vampire, at the age of eleven. Today he is one of the most sought after people to give insight on anything related to these supernatural beings.
A vampirologist. Can you elaborate? Thanks for having me! Sure. A vampirologist is someone who studies vampires from an academic perspective. I personally view it through the lens of history and folklore, but others might apply their own expertise, be it psychology, anthropology, or in the case of one of my favourite writers in the field, Paul Barber, through forensic pathology.
When and why did you decide to become a vampirologist? I’ve been interested in vampires since I was 11 ½. I’m much older now. My thirst for vampire knowledge steered me into chasing 18th century vampire texts; the ground zero of vampire studies. This was around 2004. My desire to highlight this era at the expense of the typical literary and cinematic routes, Polidori’s Vampyre, Varney the Vampire, Carmilla, Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, wash, rinse, repeat, eventually lead me to other people who shared my interest, specifically Niels K. Petersen and his brilliant blog, Magia Posthuma. His blog inspired me to launch my own, Diary of an Amateur Vampirologist (2008--11), which you could consider my official vampirologist launchpad.

Being in the profession that you are, you have experienced numerous types of influences all related to the vampire. Can you tell us what your conclusion is with the different instances being: Vampire as a subculture, Vampire religion/ Spiritualism, Vampire fiction and Vampire history.  The first thing I can tell you is that everything you mentioned is in a constant flux; the vampire scene today is very different from the one I first delved into. The vampire as subculture is what I would define as members of a collective who identify with the vampire in some shape or form, be they lifestylers, roleplayers, sanguinarians or psychic vampires. It's all in the title, “subculture,” which Wikipedia defines as “a group of people within a culture that differentiates itself from the larger culture to which it belongs, though often maintaining some of its founding principles.” 
Vampire religion and spiritualism is a manifestation of the vampire subculture, where you get various vampire covens with syncretic spiritualties or established cults like the Temple of the Vampire or the Order of Aset Ka. In essence, it’s no different from other vampire subcultures, if you replace their respective dogmas with the “founding principles” of other subcultures.
Vampire fiction is exactly what it says on the tin: fiction incorporating vampires as characters. We could easily extend the principle to vampire movies and television.  As to “vampire history,” I often mention that in my online discussions, so to clarify that point, I refer to historical representations of the vampire, primarily through legend and folklore. The famous Arnout Pavle and Peter Plogojoviz cases of the 18th century is what I would regard as vampire history; alternative histories, which represent Vlad the Impaler as a vampire (even though he most definitely was not), isn’t what I regard as history, but modern-day myth making.Vampire history isn’t dependent on the reality of vampires; it’s dependent on what people believed at the time and whether or not there’s historical record for it. For instance, in the Pavle and Plogojoviz cases, we have contemporary 18th century reports available for our perusal.
There was an article that floated around the internet about Vampires being the Chosen ones. What is your take on the relevance to Bloodline of the Holy Grail and the script that accompanied the article?  The article you’re referring to, Michelle Belanger’s “Vampires as the Chosen Ones,” revels in the kind of pseudo-history I often criticise. To be fair, even she amends “discern with care” to it. And so you should. Belanger says “I believe [it] owes a great deal of inspiration to the book,Bloodline of the Holy Grail. It was passed on to me by a member of a prominent vampire temple that has existed since at least 1991.” The book was written by Laurence Gardner – in 1989. That should be the first warning sign.
As I said in my reply to your question on vampire religion and spiritualties, this stuff gets very syncretic in vampire circles; various religious beliefs or mythologies are often stirred together and given a vampiric twist. In this case, the story was obviously “borrowed” from the “Jesus bloodline” nonsense popularised by writers like Gardner, Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh, Henry Lincoln, and more recently by Dan Brown, despite the story’s origins in a fraudulent document created by Pierre Plantard.

Put it this way: scholars still debate whether Jesus existed at all, little alone fathered children and spawned a vampire bloodline.
There are many things that seem to come full circle when you refer to things like Vlad The Impaler / Dracula, the Order of the Dragon, vampire, Amalekites , Nephilim and then when you come to Africa Annunaki or the Loas. What is your view on it?  My view is that the “full circle” is deliberate: writers like Gardner and Nicholas de Vere have a knack for teasing out patterns from diverse religions, mythologies and historical personages. In academic circles, we’d call this comparative mythology, but in the hands of those writers, we’re talking lexical pareidolia; the names look similar, therefore theymust be related. Oh, they both mention dragons? Another connection! Pure nonsense. Establishing historical connections is much more complex than “they sound similar.”

The connection between these things is very slight – or very obvious. Take Vlad Dracula. He was named for his father, Vlad Dracul, whose on name reflected his membership of the Order of the Dragon, a Catholic knighthood instituted to halt the spread of Turkish invasion in Europe. That’s hardly a mystical connection. And considering Vlad has no real connection to vampires apart from Bram Stoker liking his name enough to change his character from “Count Wampyr” to “Count Dracula,” that’s also a helluva stretch.
As we both know, there are established societies / subculture groups across the world that refer to themselves as being vampiric or vampyre. What is your take on this?  My take is that they’re in search of self, identity – something to contextualise themselves as people who crave blood or psychic energy … and rather than seek medical or psychological assistance, they’ve found that outlet by latching onto a mythic figure filtered through the lens of pop culture. There’s a reason why so many identify bad reaction to sunlight as one of their defining vampire “traits” even though this was not a symptom of the historical vampire, but introduced to vampire “myth” through cinema.
Identifying as a vampire is obviously much more glamourous than acknowledging you probably have some sort of vitamin deficiency or pica. Sun allergy is medically-grounded condition; vampirism is not. It saddens me that many of these groups have little understanding or appreciation for historical vampirism which is especially odd to me, considering they’ve built their identities around being a “vampire.”
Case in point: some self-identified vampires refer to themselves as “vampyres” because they think it distinguishes them from the “fictional” vampire, probably because the spelling seems all mysterious and Gothic. Except it isn’t a different word at all: “vampyre” is merely the archaic way of spelling of “vampire.” When “vampire” was introduced into our language, it was spelt “vampyre” and the spelling between “vampire” and “vampyre” alternated right through the 19th century before. That’s why the multiple authors who wrote for the penny dreadful,Varney the Vampire (1845–7), alternated their spellings between “vampire” and “vampyre” during its print run – the “correct” spelling wasn’t set in stone yet. It just happens that “vampire” won the battle and that’s why it’s the most common spelling used today.
Unfortunately, this kind of historical ignorance is pervasive within the communities because it’s spread by “elders” who’re more interested in shilling anachronistic mysticism to gullible followers than fact.
Whatever my take on it is, I know these groups will continue to grow and prosper. Obviously, I can’t stop people identifying as vampires, even though they’re basically identifying with an undead, bloodsucking corpse. But at the very least, I can encourage them to get their history right.
You have made it a job to interact with these subcultures and to comment on many of their posts as you see fit. Do you ever feel threatened by it all? By anyone? As many of these people do not agree with your approach. I wouldn’t say I’ve made it my job, so much as it has become part of my job. I’m “that” guy: if I see someone has written about something incorrectly or if they’re sharing an obviously nonsensical story without checking Snopes first, I have to correct them. It just happens that I admin many vampire themed groups awash with folk from vampire subcultures who’ve been fed a steady diet of bullshit and regurgitate it accordingly.

The only thing I feel threatened by is the possibility that discussing vampires enters the realm of political correctness. Now that further sociological studies are being done on them, I have a feeling that their “feelings” will be put at the forefront over hard, incontrovertible fact: that vampires have no basis in reality outside novels and movies. I encounter enough anti-intellectualism within these circles as it is, without being blockaded by misguided, but well-intentioned rights activists.
That said, I believe further study – medical and psychological study – should be done with members of the vampire subculture to determine what their “thirst” is based on. There’s no question that there’s lots of consistency if we strip the whole thing down to a “craving.”           Many people within the subcultures misinterpret my stance on this issue: it’s not that I doubt they crave something (though I will contest it as a “need”), it’s that applying the name of a mythic entity to yourself and expecting it to be given precedence over the well-established undead vampire archetype is not only harmful to their cause, but amounts to identity theft. If you want to be taken seriously, stop defining yourself through an undead corpse.
Unfortunately, the data behind these also heavily tainted, because there’s nothing stopping someone from claiming to be a vampire especially if it will make them feel like they fit into a larger social group. All you have to do is mention you need blood or psychic energy. Free pass.
Either way, I’d love to see studies advance beyond the usual sociological surveys. I’d love to see some hard answers for the cause of their thirst. This would meet greater success with with “sangs,” who feed on blood as opposed to psys who feed on an invisible something-or-other.
The subculture itself, define themselves under different categories: Blood Drinkers, Psi, Empathic, Sexual, Soul, Genetic, Malkavian, Nosferato etc. What is your take on the different classifications and the peoples that classify themselves accordingly?  There are many, many variants. There’s no consistent or authoritative glossary as far as I’m concerned. In fact, the last two you mentioned are taken from roleplaying game, Vampire: The Masquerade.
I can totally understand the desire to classify the subgroups. Afterall, even within my field, there have been numerous attempts to classify vampires, but nothing’s really “stuck.” But classification is a constantly evolving thing, yet I how many variations on “psychic vampire” can you really have? It gets ludicrous. Like metal genres. Remember when heavy metal was sufficient? Now we have death metal. Melodic death metal. Syphonic death metal. Viking metal. Folk metal. It doesn’t stop. But this is the nature of subgroups: they all want to feel special, so you’re going to see the classification become increasingly diverse and specific.
How is some of the categorization different from people who classify themselves as being psychic, empathic or different?  That’s a good question: what is the difference, really? Psychic vampirism is defined as taking someone’s lifeforce to feed yourself. What does an empath feed on? Empathy? What is empathy? Can you bottle it? Drink it? Isn’t it the distillation of someone’s lifeforce? I dunno, man. You get all kinds of variations. There’s also emotional vampirism, too, although Albert J. Bernstein has basically used that to define anti-social behaviour.
What is your overall goal in being as involved with the subculture, and everything vampire as you are?  I don’t have a goal within the subculture. At least, not a clearly defined one. I just happen to be smackdab in the middle of it. If you’re talking about subculture in a greater sense, that is, vampire fandom, then I certainly have grand plans along those lines. In regard to the latter point, my goal is to spread greater awareness of vampire history. 
There are many novels today that expose the youth to the mythical essence of things like vampires and the Nephilim etc. How do you feel the likes of Stephenie Meyer and Cassandra Clare have influenced the interest levels in our youth today?  That’s exactly why we often see fundamentalist Christian groups up in arms about them; if it’s not Meyer or Clare, it’ll be Harry Potter: their concern is that these books open the door to the occult. And they do. If you’re interested in those themes, chances are you’ll seek out more. But can a specific path be predicted? Is there a direct line between reading Twilight and seeking the Nephilim? No, not necessarily. The path one takes from it depends on one’s latent interests.
Take mine, for instance: my vampire interest is what might be defined as old school or retro. I like the classic tropes, the garlic, the crosses, stakes and holy water. Notice the Christian trappings there? That’s because they appeal to my own faith. They validate it. Good vs. evil. I enjoy the vampire archetype as a battle between men and monsters. I’m more Van Helsing than Dracula. Put it this way, if those works inspire people to chase mystical paths, then their penchant for mysticism was already there. In fact, before vampires, I was already into the supernatural. I wanted to be a ghost hunter. I also loved to read mythology, particularly Greek mythology – and I was kid then, too.  
Where do you see it going in the future?  I can never predict that. Who would’ve thought thatTwilight would catch on the way it did? After all, its basic storyline was already published fifteen years before hand in L.J. Smith’s Vampire Diaries series. Vampires tap into a zeitgeist, as Nina Auerbach reveals in Our Vampires, Ourselves (1995). Anne Rice pulled it off with Interview with the Vampire (1976) which is a postmodern vampire tale she wrote as the “classic” vampire was being overhauled, and the “Other” became humanised. What does it say about our own time where a series written for teenage girls caused such a cultural ripple that one of its fan-fic spin-offs, Fifty Shades of Grey, was able to affect a cultural shift, too? Perhaps we’ve become gluttons for punishment, especially considering Bella and Edward’s relationship dynamic. That said, there are some discernible signs of things to come – and one constant. Firstly, paranormal vampire romance is a huge genre. That is probably the biggest cultural shift in vampire fiction; paranormal romance seems to be overtaking horror. That means the traditionally male-centric genre is being taken over by womenfolk. More power to ‘em. Second, this will inevitably create backlash that seeks to restore “old school” or monstrous vampires to the forefront. That’s why after Twilight, we get The Strain. All the flack Meyers’ copped for her “sissy” vampires is what Rice copped from traditionalists when her Vampire Chronicles came out. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

But most notably, these efforts are never as successful as the “humanised” vampires. I don’t see The Strain having True Blood’s longevity, for instance. Remember when the Fright Night remake billed itself as an antidote to Twilight? It tanked. People want vampires to be more human that cardboard cutout, jack-in-the-box monsters, so I think we’ll see more of that.
In my research I found many similarities between Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga and referrals vampire subculture use for society. For instance – Bella Swan – swans in their culture mean non vampyres or people that move around in vampire circles. The referral of dayside, Nightside and Twilight as classifications for identities.  Meyer has prided herself on knowing bugger-all about vampires until after she delved into them a little further, following her fateful dream of a vampire sparkling in sunlight. I would be very surprised if Meyer consciously patterned her series on the vampire subculture. To be fair, I don’t exactly know why she patterned her series on shifting days, but if your train of thought followed through, how do you account for “Breaking Dawn” and “Eclipse”? Those aren’t vampire subculture terminologies. I’d pin this one down to coincidence at best. Also, let’s look at her whole name: “Bella Swan” = Beautiful Swan, just like the story of the ugly duckling and how does Bella view herself? As an awkward teenager with nothing to offer – but a “perfect” vampire completely adores her, seeing, what we could argue, is her true beauty.
Being as involved as you are, in something that has lasted throughout time, how has the vampire evolved throughout time? We can start with the word’s etymological origins: vampire meant something completely different when it was originally used. According to Slavic scholar, Bruce A. McClelland in Slayers and Their Vampires (2006): “the word vampir was a pejorative name for a group or a member of a group whose rituals or behavior were offensive to early Orthodox Christians. It is unlikely that the earliest meaning of the word vampir denoted anything supernatural. Rather, I suspect that the term generally designated someone who engaged in pirštestvo, that is, in ritual feasting, where sacrifice was performed and wine was drunk to excess and ritually poured out (as libation), sometimes mixed with blood.”
If McClelland’s right, that means “vampires” used to refer to pagans who liked to party! In a way, that comes full circle to Lost Boys, doesn’t it? If we factor in Orthodox believes on punishments awaiting those who didn’t do it their way during life, most famously the vrykolakas, and the Russian heretics (the word apparently originated in Ukraine), we can see that “vampire” morphed from a pejorative for the living to the dead.
But our vampire template is derived from the Serbian model, specifically, the Arnout Pavle case. When it was given coverage in Europe’s newspapers, it introduced the word into Western vocabulary; the earliest appearance of the word in English, for instance, is the London Journal’s March 11, 1732 coverage of the Pavle case. The earliest writings on vampires were studies on folk like Pavle; despite being widely regarded as superstition, vampires were examined as a paranormal phenomena, because that’s what they were: Slavic ghosts.
The template those accounts provided – undead corpse, bloodsucking, ability to infect others – soon slipped into political allegory and later into fictional literature, where one of the earliest vampire stories, John Polidori’s The Vampyre (1819), tipped its hat to the London Journal article in its introduction. From there, the vampire has adapted and evolved to different eras, falling in and out of fashion, but its adaptability has kept it alive.
By doing what you do, you have come into contact with many fraudulent people, in your experience which was your worst encounter? 
The biggest fraud I have encountered is a human, not a vampire: Sean Manchester. He claims to have hunted and staked a vampire through London’s Highgate Cemetery to Crouch End. He presents this account as a true story. I used to be a fan of the guy, because I regarded it as a pretty cool story – albeit one I didn’t really believe in.
But soon, I found myself questioning it, the more I learned. And the more I learned, the more disturbing the picture became. I discovered Manchester was far from a harmless eccentric, but incredibly malicious and quite possibly sociopathic – and just happens to be the head of his own little church. He used a multitude of sockpuppets to harass me, has tried to obtain and publicly share my personal details, had my blogs shut down and even created a blog called Hoggwatch to vilify me as a “troll” – all because I had the tenacity and temerity to question his story, expose its numerous holes and reveal him to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

What research have you done, where your findings to-date remain inconclusive?That would be the ultimate cause behind the sanguinarian or psy “need” to feed on blood or psychic energy. But I don’t think there’ll be a one-size-fits all answer for that and I think it’s foolish to think there’d be just one.  
Being Christian, how difficult is it to remain biased toward the things people within these sub cultures relate to, and how they perceive society? Oh, bias is very easy! However, when it comes to my discussions within these groups, I leave them at the door. I take a hardline sceptical approach; an objective approach. When you’ve got such a diversity of spiritual viewpoints, then it’s pointless battling faith against faith.
How much similarities are there between vampire spiritualism and Satanism or Free Masonry, if any? Good question, but one I can’t give a conclusive answer on. The best I can say is that they have occultic systems that may overlap and all emphasise some form of freethought, utilise special codes and generally stay underground. Outside of that, I can’t really say.
What is next for Anthony Hogg the vampirologist? Oh, many things! The most obvious would be more articles for my website, Vamped. The other stuff will stay up my sleeve for the time being…
Where can fans meet up or follow your work? They can visit Vamped.org, add me on Facebook or follow my irregularly updated blog. See you there!Posted 8 hours ago by Nadine MaritzLabels: Anne Rice Anthony Hogg Dracula history Stephenie Meyer Vampedvampire religion vampire subcultures Vampirologist






http://www.amymahvampire.com 

Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: 
www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon Amy has written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night.










Body Swap




Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation. 
Nor was having to attend a demonic high school for the magically gifted. 
When the most magical thing you could do was set your own underwear on fire.
 Life was not going to be easy, even less so with a painful tail that everyone trod on.
 Owning a magic sword that always tried to look up your skirt when fighting was not helpful. 
But then nor was having a telepathic diary that corrected your thinking instead of your spelling.
www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm

What 6 Ridiculous Old-Timey Diseases All Have In Common

What 6 Ridiculous Old-Timey Diseases All Have In Common  By Michelle Garcia March 31, 2015LIKE MIC ON FACEBOOK: Last week Vox brought to light a silly-sounding disease that seemed to plague women on the go in the late 1800s: bicycle face, or the threat of a permanent distressed expression caused by riding a bicycle. Just as your grandmother would tease, doctors warned women their faces just may stay like that if they kept hopping on a bike and physically exerting themselves. Of course, the diagnosis only lasted a couple of years in the 1890s. But "bicycle face" was one of many baseless or oversimplified diagnoses women have been given throughout history by a medical field dominated by men. As weird as they may be, these "diseases" were often used to keep women in their place.1. Bicycle face Source: Vox & Getty ImagesOne of the silliest "medical" ailments women have been warned about was bicycle face. With the proliferation of the bicycle, women were cautioned that the awkward faces people make while attempting to ride a bike would make them ugly. Perhaps that was because, in addition to just being all-around good methods of transportation, bicycles were tools of feminism that made women mobile for longer distances without the reliance on a man. AsVox points out, suffragettes were early adopters of the bicycle, and its use pushed dress reform, as it was nearly impossible to wear restrictive corsets and bustles while pushing a bicycle.The backlash from male doctors led to a laundry list of health problems female riders would surely experience: headaches, depression, exhaustion, insomnia, heart palpitations and, of course, bicycle face. Fortunately, the theories largely disappeared a few years after the adaptation of the bicycle, once no one was truly able to be diagnosed with having an ugly face due to riding a bike. 2. Wandering wombSource: The Wellcome Library, LondonDuring the times of the ancient Greeks, many women had to watch out for the mystery of the traveling uterus. Even Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, shared his concerns with what early physician Aretaeus of Cappadocia described as "an animal within an animal" that rattled around a woman's body and supposedly affected her moods and health, according to  Wired . One of the prescriptions for wandering womb was frequent pregnancy, since the "animal" (womb) was "moving" out of sheer boredom. A Byzantine physician proposed shouting at a woman or making her sneeze to keep the womb in place,  Wired  reports. By the 17th century, "experts" believed a wandering womb could be lured back into position with pleasant smells applied to a woman's genitals. Eventually this ailment seemed archaic to medical practitioners, but hysteria, which evolved from the theory of the wandering womb, didn't. 3. Hysteria[image error]Women with hysteria under the effects of hypnosisSource: Wikimedia Commons
Hysteria translates to "womb disease," with a range of symptoms that included "anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, erotic fantasy, sensations of heaviness in the abdomen, lower pelvic edema and vaginal lubrication," according to Rachel P. Maines'  The Technology of Orgasm.  The ailment was treated by physicians or midwives, who applied a "genital massage to orgasm" to the woman suffering from hysteria. Incidentally, this was largely a disease for women of a certain class. White women who suffered the type of hysteria that we would now classify as prolapsed uterus or diseased ovaries, were seen as endangering the racethrough their low fertility, Laura Briggs wrote in American Quarterly.But hey, at least we got vibrators out of this one. The devices became a mainstay in doctor's offices near the end of the 19th century, and also eventually made their way into early erotic films.  4. Emotional overload Lobotomy toolsSource: Outside The BeltwayThe first lobotomy was performed on a Kansas housewife in 1936. The psychiatrist who prescribed the operation, Walter Freeman, reportedly believed that "an overload of emotions led to mental illness," and that the only cure was cutting certain nerves in the brain to stabilize a person's mental health; and often, lobotomy patients were women whose "emotions" needed to be checked. A British woman, Eileen Davie, experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her second child in 1946. In a 1976 BBC documentary, her husband Sid (who was required to sign the consent forms for his wife's procedure, by the way), said he was told the procedure would be no more serious than "having a tooth extracted." However, his wife was "irreversibly damaged," he said. Freeman performed thousands of surgeries before being banned from operating. As many as 50,000 estimated lobotomies were performed in the United States by the early 1950s (even though some countries like Germany and Japan outlawed the practice). Meanwhile, Sweden also largely adopted the procedure and 63% of these operations were performed on women, according to a report in the Journal of the History of the Neurosciences: Basic and Clinical Perspectives. Even modernist painter Sigrid Hjertén, who studied under Henri Matisse and is one of the leading artists credited with bringing modernism to Sweden, died after a botched lobotomy to treat her mental illness in 1948.  5. The vapors[image error]Source: Duane Howell/Getty Images"The vapors" are understood these days as something that require a Victorian fainting couch, but when the term was coined, it could have meant anything from PMS to clinical depression. It may have also meant hypochondria, but generally, we would understand "the vapors" as anxiety.  According to the late New York Times language columnist William Safire, "the vapors" were described as "a disease of nervous disability in which strange images seem to float hazily before the eyes, or appear as if real." During the Victorian period, well into the 1920s, women were especially seen as weak. In fact, this was a common "ailment" among suffragettes, with the prescription being rest and sometimes, smelling salts. 6. Lunacy [image error]Dr. Philippe Pinel at the Salpêtrière, 1795 by Tony Robert-Fleury. Pinel ordering the removal of chains from patients at the Paris Asylum for insane women.Source: Wikimedia CommonsBy 1872 in England and Wales, women made up the majority of "certified lunatics" (which was the medical term back then) confined to asylums, according to Elaine Showalter, author of The Female Malady. "In a society that not only perceived women as childlike, irrational and sexually unstable, but also rendered them legally powerless and economically marginal, it is not surprising that "doctors were quick to diagnose women as so-called lunatics, Showalter wrote, according to the New York Times.  The Guardian's Gary Nunn traces the origin of the term "lunacy" from "a monthly periodic insanity, believed to be triggered by the moon's cycle." So, maybe you can guess where that term came from. Why it matters [image error]Source: Eric Gay/APMost of these maladies seem ridiculous now because modern science has told us so. However, the fight over women's bodies, voices and minds have continued to be waged, in part, by men. With an anti-abortion bill in Arizona that would require doctors to tell women that drug-induced abortions can be reversed, to a Supreme Court ruling that restricts a woman right to choose based on her employer's religious freedoms, there's no doubt that women are still being limited through medicine. 

Pubic Hair Trends Over Time

Bustle
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FollowPubic Hair Trends Over Time, From Tweezer-Happy Ancient Greece To Your Last Painful Wax

GABRIELLE MOSS@GABY_MOSS
11.07.2014 FASHION & BEAUTY

Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images News/Getty Images
If you think the U.S. is the only country that demands that women sacrifice their wallets and test their personal pain thresholds in the name of vulva beauty, think again: Some women in Korea have recently begun undergoing pubic hair transplant surgery, a procedure that is intended to add extra hair to the pubic area, and will set you back a few hours and around $2000. In Korea, pubic hair is considered a sign of fertility and sexual health — which might sound like a beautiful dream to anyone who’s spent roughly 100,000 hours of their adult life trying to wrangle their unruly pubes into an “acceptable” form. But while it might sound liberating, it appears this emphasis on an unnaturally fuller bush is just another pubic beauty standard for women to feel bad about not conforming to. And pubic beauty standards — especially when it comes to female pubic hair — are fluctuating all of the time. A few years ago, everywhere I turned, I saw eulogies for The Pube. Who had killed thick female pubic hair, the trusted wiry protector of our lady bits? Was it porn, Sex and the City, those super low riding jeans? No one could agree, but everyone seemed to believe that the bush was gone forever.
But this past year,  New York Times  trend pieces and American Apparel window displaysalike declared that the bush was back. While this whipsaw between extremes seems unprecedented — how can we go from no pubes to full pubes in three years? — the fact is that pubic hair trends have changed wildly from era to era, throughout recorded history. Which culture was the first to go fully bare? When did they invent the pubic hair wig? Find out as we explore our pubes, and ourselves.

ANCIENT EGYPTIANS, ROMANS, AND GREEKS: TAKE IT ALL OFF!



As much as folks like to blame our modern hairless vag frenzy on Sarah Jessica Parker and company, our forebears were also interested in a smooth pudenda. The Egyptians removed pubic hair, as well as almost all of the other hair on their bodies, with sharp flints, pumice stones, or via a proto-waxing process, as did some women from other Middle Eastern cultures; and some women in ancient Turkey used early hair depilatory creams.

The Greeks were not quite so lucky: they removed pubic hair by plucking out individual hairs until the whole area was deforested, or sometimes even by burning off pubic hair. The ancient Greeks thought pubic hair on women was “uncivilized,” though there is some debate about whether average women went hairless, or just courtesans. Upper class women of ancient Rome also kept their bonnets smooth, and some men removed their body hair, as well — though they were thought to be “dandies” because of it.

EUROPEANS OF THE MIDDLE AGES AND ELIZABETHAN ERA: LEAVE IT ON! (MOSTLY)



Pubic fads swung the other way in the Middle Ages, when the trend was to maintain pubic hair. But some women of the era still kept their junk hairless, for erotic reasons or for hygiene’s sake (there was a lot of pubic lice going around). Some even used an early, homemade version of a Nair-like hair removal cream. Oftentimes, these women then kept up appearances by using a merkin — a pubic hair wig that first shows up in recorded history in 1450.

Queen Elizabeth I set further body hair removal trends by keeping her pubic hair, but removing her eyebrow hair, which proved that women have always lived under pressure to keep up with bizarre, borderline nonsensical body fashion trends. Bush hair removal stayed off the table in the Western world for the next few centuries (though most sculptures and paintings of female nudes remained curiously bush-free).
THE FIRST HALF OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY: SHAVE SOMETHING, BUT PROBABLY NOT YOUR BUSH



The first women’s body hair razor was released by Gillette in 1915, though ads focused on armpit hair. Nylon shortages during World War II encouraged women to go bare-legged, which led to greater proliferation of leg shaving; and thus, when the bikini was first released in 1946, the stage was finally set for American women to “clean things up” down yonder with a razor.


Though no advertising campaigns ever came out and declared that pubic hair shaving was now considered necessary for American women, the thought seemed to be swirling in the background of many of them — like an ad campaign by razor manufacturers Wilkinson Sword that seized upon the early 20th century cultural mania for pseudoscience, and declared female underarm hair “unhygienic and unfeminine.” And though it’s difficult to indicate exactly when the practice became mainstreamed or how it was publicized, look at this photo from 1946, which features a woman modeling one of the first bikinis — odds are, she wasn’t born with the Barbie doll pubic area you see before you:



THE SIXTIES AND SEVENTIES: OOOH BABY BABY, IT’S A WILD BUSH




The sixties and seventies tied ideas about sexual liberation to natural and freely grown body hair, making a full bush and lush armpit hair a sexy symbol of the counterculture — and making the term “seventies bush” synonymous with going totally au naturale in the underpantualr region. Yeah, some people kept shaving and trimming throughout this era, but what a bunch of squares, am I right?
THE EIGHTIES, NINETIES, AND OUGHTS: Bushes For President, Not Women




In the ’80s and ’90s, trimmed pubes proliferated. There was even a section in the 1996 play The Vagina Monologues about how going full-hairless was creepy and degrading — which seemed, at the time, a pretty common thought. A quick glimpse at the era’s nude art photography by Helmut Newton— or a flip through a less highbrow publication, like Playboy — revealed that manicured but very present pubic hair on women was considered sexy and desirable.


But in the very late ’90s, Brazilians became a celebrity trend. Though the completely bare Brazilian wax was brought stateside by the J. Sister Salon in 1987, it didn’t enter the cultural consciousness until 1999, when stars like Gwyneth Paltrow began claiming that the look was life-changing.


And when the infamous “Brazilian” episode of Sex and the City premiered on September 17, 2000, the style transformed from another kooky celebrity trend into a full-fledged national obsession. Every salon in the country seemed to suddenly offer the once-obscure procedure.


There aren’t any clear statistics about how many women decided to pave their paradise and put up a parking lot in the early 2000s, but the look became, at the very least, culturally omnipresent. The enthusiasm for Brazilians seemed tied to a rise in the popularity of cunnilingus, as well. And the craze made the Brazilian a standard part of many women’s beauty routines — the look became so ubiquitous, doctors confirmed that it caused pubic lice to nearly become extinct by 2013. In 2009, razor manufacturer Wilkinson Sword was releasing commercials that depicted shaving your nether regions as cheeky fun — which fit in with the Brazilian’s cultural identity as a simple, sassy way to get a little bit naughty.


Present day: minge is back


Which brings us to today, where publications and trend pieces seem to be falling over themselves to declare the start of the age of the retro bush. The New York Times cited the fuller bushes of Naomi Campbell and porn star Stoya as evidence of a trend, while the Today Show used recent comments by Cameron Diaz, Kathie Lee Gifford, Jenny McCarthy, and Gwyneth Paltrow supporting fuller pubic hair as proof that the Brazilian’s days were numbered. And there were, of course, those American Apparel pubic hair mannequins — one of the company’s New York City stores boasted mannequins with enormous, visible merkins over a few weeks last winter.

A 2013 UK poll found that 51 percent of women polled didn’t trim or wax at all — and that of those women, 45 percent used to be into pubic styling, but had given up the (vulvic) ghost. Still, eports of the death of the Brazilian wax may still be exaggerated — a 2014 poll of Cosmopolitan readers found that 70 percent of them still go for a full Brazilian, and theJournal of Urology reports that more than 80 percent of female college students remove most of all of their pubes.

If we do all end up growing back the crotch shrubbery that God gave us, it won’t be a revolution or a scandal — it’ll simply be another swing of the pendulum in the wild, extremely wooly world of pubic hair trends.
Images: wildandmild/Flickr,  Giphy  (6),  Wikimeda

After Pubic Hair Fashion to give Guys a better view you now get to paint your lady parts ! by Amy Mah Vampire

My New Pink Button: How to paint your labia pink 
OK I thought this was a fake product until I found it on Amazon!

And after reading the Amazon reviews I think it is still a fake product but in this world I would not bet on it being fake


http://www.amazon.com/My-New-Pink-Button-Bettie/dp/B002P0ST1K/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Product DescriptionMy New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!


Now yes it is true about asians and for some odd reason Guys like the girls to have crotches so pale they glow in the dark.
Perhaps Asian guys have a poor sense of direction? 
So for all those guys that should buy glasses or at least a torch lots of bleaching products are sold in Asia and India
And before any one asks no I have not tried it of plan to or ever do so .
Like what happens if like a hair dye it goes wrong and your most private areas are now a pleasant shade of lime green.
OK if you happen to be dating the Hulk but heck just how do you explain it to a doctor?
So yes by numbers that do it then it has to be classed as normal but button colouring? 
No that is new to me and why pink why not dayglow blue? that way you may not have to let a guy guess where to find it.
And what about the guys? they have condoms that come in all colours why stop there and not produce a selection of Dick dyes?
Hummm you could have them change colour depending upon how excited the guy is ............. 

Amy Mah
Now see what other say about it, along with an Amazon link to buy your own.  

By Karen Alpert, Wednesday at 8:19 amOMG, holy crap, have you seen this vagina bleach stuff people are talking about? Well, in case you haven’t seen it, yes, this is a real product that bleaches the area around your hoo-ha (or as I call it, your hoo-harea) and they sell in India and Asia because apparently women over there have this dark crotch problem. WTF???!!!! I’d really like to know who convinced them they have a dark crotch problem because as far as I’ve noticed, men don’t really give a shit how dark your crotch is as long as there’s a hole there. Am I right?!Anyways, I was doing a little research on this hoo-harea bleach (and by research I mean checking this shit out on the internet, NOT on my vajayjay) when I stumbled upon this other product called My New Pink Button. Holy F. Have you seen this thing? It’s kind of just as bad as the hoo-harea bleach only worse. It’s DIY pink dye for your labia. No, that whole sentence is not a typo. DO-IT-YOURSELF PINK DYE FOR YOUR LABIAGGGGHHHHH! See? Okay, first of all, I had NO F’ING IDEA “labia color-loss” was a problem, but apparently a lot of women suffer from LCL. WHAT???!!! Yes, apparently your labia loses color as you get older. Are you F’ing kidding me? My boobs sag, my elbows flop, and now this?! My labia fades?!! Awesome. And since I don’t look at my labia every day, for alls I know my labia is ALREADY F’ing Caspar the Ghost. Wait, I don't mean “F’ing Caspar” like having sex with him. Ewwww, my labia wouldn’t F Caspar, he’s just a little boy ghost. Hmm, I’ve never thought about that before, is Caspar like a little boy who died? That is so sad. But I digress. Like MAJORLY.Anyways, as you can see, My New Pink Button comes in this nifty little tin can, kind of like a fancy candle or surfboard wax. Only it’s not wax, it’s labia dye. So while I was planning on writing about hoo-harea bleach, well, I’m not anymore. I’m writing about My New Pink Button, the pink dye women are using to reinvigorate their faded labias. So here goes.1. Gosh, I really hate how my vagina is losing its color. Said no woman ever.2. Hells no, I ain’t having sex with that pale vajayjay. Said no MAN ever.3. Well, this is just a silly product. When my vajayjay needs a little boost of color I just give it a quick pinch on my way out the door.4. Okay, it says the kit contains labia colorant dye. LABIA COLORANT DYE. Like this is a common household item. They F’ing made those words up. Like the way my shaving gel says lotionized. Not a real word, people.5. The kit also says, “Our products are never tested on animals, but it will bring out the animal in you.” Yeah, you know what kind? One of those baboons with the giant bright red asses.6. Shit, I better go check my labia in the mirror to see if I’m losing color there. Too bad I have no F’ing idea what color it was before.7. Damn it, I forgot to dye my vajayjay today. Quick say something embarrassing that’ll make my labia blush.8. I’m so curious, do you get someone to apply it for you or do you grab a mirror and do this shit yourself? ‘Cause there’s only one person checking out my labia.ME: Honey, would you mind dying my labia?HUBBY: Depends, would you mind signing these divorce papers?9. Oh wait, I stand corrected, there are two people I let check out my labia.ME: Hey, while you’re down there giving me a pap smear would you mind dying my labia?DR.: I need a psych consult in exam room C!10. So here’s a question. After a long round of sex (dear God, pleeeeease cum already) does his penis turn pink like when you suck on a big ole lollipop for a long time?11. And I feel like if I were dying my labia a color for my man, it wouldn’t be pink. Like I’d go for something men like, like blue or camouflage or black. Ewwww, a black labia? Wait, that totally sounded racist. That’s not what I meant. I just meant that if I dyed my labia black, it’d be a black labia on a white woman. And that’s just got wrong written all over it12. I googled labia to see if I could tell what color a labia should be and this seriously might be the worst mistake I have EVER made in my entire life. There are some totally F’ed up labias on google. Why the hell do people post pictures of their messed up labias there? Agggghhhhh!! I’m thinking about suing google for showing them to me. Only they’d have to show these pictures in court and the whole jury would be throwing up and then they’d each have to sue google too for seeing these pictures and so on and so on until the whole world is scarred for life and suing google.13. F that pink ribbon. I know what I'm doing for breast cancer awareness month. Check out my pink labia!14. You know how at a bar all the women crowd around the mirror putting their lipstick on and shit? I triple dare someone to whip out their labia dye and start applying it.15. And do you think they sell this shit in Sephora? And if so, do they have a tester? And if so, NO WAY IN HELL. I thought the tester lipsticks were bad.16. OMG, my daughter LOVES pink. She is going to go bonkers! Look, sweetie, my hoo-ha is pinkalicious!!!!17. MAN: No way hozay, the last time I went down on you, my mouth looked like I’d been drinking Kool Aid for a week!18. HOME DEPOT GUY: Picking out paint chips for your daughter’s room?ME: Nahhh, just trying to decide which color to paint my labia.19. Take that, Georgia O’Keefe, you’re not the only one who can paint pink vaginas!20. Hells yeah, I totally know EXACTLY what I’m going to sing while I put it on. Isn’t she-eeeee, pretty in pink? Isn’t she pretty in pink?So there you go. If you like what I have to say about pink labias, you might also like what I have to say about parenting. Check out my new book I Heart My Little A-Holes, available in paperback on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online, and in ebook on Kindle, Nook and iBook.

REVIEWS on Amazon


5.0 out of 5 stars Doesn't your man deserve perfection?, March 5, 2010By Charlene Vickers (Winnipeg, Manitoba) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)Ladies, we all know that we are nothing unless we can catch a man and keep him. We also know that the fat, balding, underachieving, middle-aged shlub we married will ditch us in a moment for that man-stealing ho Miss Universe if we aren't superficially perfect at all times. But what to do when we start to look like one of those "normal" women instead of an always-perfect supermodel?

My New Pink Button is the answer! Formulated by a quack manicurist - sorry, I mean a "paramedical esthetician" - My New Pink Button will take off the years, take off the children, and take off the reality! Its patented "natural" "formula" (wink wink) is guaranteed to remove what other, lesser women call "normal vaginal coloration" and replace it with pink perfection! And all this with a minimum of permanent scarring and complete loss of sexual response - but who needs that anyway, sex is for men!

My New Pink Button has never been tested on animals (so if it burns your skin off or causes cancer that's your problem) and contains twenty disposable applicators (so you'll be able to fool him twenty times!).

Remember, girls: when your man comes home after a long, hard day of standing around the water cooler telling dirty jokes and ogling the secretaries, he deserves the hottest, most ultra-conformist woman he can find. You owe it to him to be as superficially perfect as you can! Buy My New Pink Button today!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 87 of 88 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars Made For Women, Yet Pink Enough For a Man, January 31, 2012By M. Trautman "tanukihat" (USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   This review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)As a 27-year-old, I recognize that I have begun the long decline into old age, senility, and most importantly, pale and gray old-man genitalia. All my friends seem to be handling the aging process with style and class; I've been having more trouble coping than usual. My psychiatrist recommended that I take proactive steps to ease my passage into my twilight years, and this product was my first idea. I swore to myself that while my hair may fall out and my skin may wrinkle, I will NOT go to the grave with a monochromatic baton.

I was pleased with the ease of application of this product. It comes with 20 disposable applicators, which I image are for female use, but I discovered that it is much quicker to simply dip the tip of my dirigible into the dye and spread it along the shift with a quick up-and-down motion of the hand. The best time to do this, I have found, it right after waking up or in the shower. This does result in my having a pink hand for the rest of the day, but I figure people will be impressed by the vibrant, lively color of my palms.

Speaking of the color, the Day-Glo pink hue that this product imparts on my potato is wonderful. I look fresh as a daisy, youthful and energetic, like a 10-year-old captain of the swim team hanging out with his pals in the locker room playing snap-the-towel. I like to imagine women having to shield their eyes in wonder and pain as the neon pink glow dazzles them. I will post a second review as soon as I get a woman's response to seeing this product in action.

Men, don't be afraid of this product just because it is marketed towards women. If women can smoke, vote, and run for president, then a man can dye his oboe to bring the snap back to his life, in the sack and out of it. Just walking around with this fluorescent tool in my pants is enough to give me a great new outlook on life. As my idol Zyzz would say, "Get aesthetic, guys."
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 136 of 141 people found the following review helpful4.0 out of 5 stars This kitty's got a new coat ... of paint!, May 25, 2011By Tina Tuna - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)I wasn't even aware of my embarrassing genital discoloration before I stumbled across this product. I haven't been this "fresh" and (temporarily) pink for 25 years! (I'm 32, you do the math ...).
My boyfriend hasn't noticed the difference yet (he prefers to do it with the lights off, eyes closed), but one of these days I'm going to "accidentally" show him my sexy new vagina and prepare to get skewered!
Just think ... if it weren't for your product, many women might not even consider the color of their labia to be a problem at all. Can you imagine? Women walking around with gray, discolored vaginas in their pants and feeling totally OKAY about it? Gross!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 194 of 206 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic product!, March 7, 2010By Albert S - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)For a long time I have felt my sex lust decreasing, much due to the fact that my wife is getting older and lesser attractive for each year.
One of my biggest concerns has been the unattractive gray colour which her labia has attained during recent years. It simply isn't pleasing to the eye anymore.
We've tried all sorts of things to spice it up, from car batteries and buttplugs, to whips and strap-ons, all to no avail.
In hindsight most of these things were just silly, since they didn't get to the root of the problem, which of course was her labia.

And getting to the root of the problem is exactly what this product does! It has revitalized our sex life completely. Now having intercourse doesn't feel as much like necrophilia anymore, but rather brings back sweet memories of having sex with 16 year old Croatian prostitutes, much like I used to do during the war!

Thank you My New Pink Button!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 86 of 89 people found the following review helpful3.0 out of 5 stars FANTASTIC, January 31, 2012By LoisMM - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)I'm so glad I've found this product. I didn't realise I was at risk of such a horrible fate. I am only 21 so my labia is still lovely and pink, but I had no idea it went grey. How foul. I've now started checking my vagina in the mirror every day to make sure it's still pink, and I've ordered a couple of tubs of this stuff in preparation for the day it all goes wrong.

I am eternally in debt to the genius who invented this stuff. WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. IMAGINE THAT.

Just off to wax all my hair off. Wouldn't want to be a FREAK. Can you imagine having a grey labia AND pubes. Christ.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 75 of 77 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars The refreshing sensation of brand new lady-parts, May 26, 2011By Snark A. Lychous - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)I gotta say, after years of winning the game of aneorexia, hair dye, a great pancake make-up tone that hides my acne, botox, designer clothes and shoes, implants, skin bleaching for my freckles, and other "little secrets" that my cosmetic surgeon is under waiver not to tell, I've always felt sad that, while I could have my lady parts tightened so I'm not waiving a flag, there was nothing to do about the natural brownish color that truly reveals a woman's age.

Until now.

While my online searches didn't really bring up the results that this fine medical professional obviously did (he's probably using the googles), I was so thankful that I stumbled across this gem of a product. Of course, I was skeptical. I mean, who wouldn't be? Obviously if there was a need for this service, wouldn't my cosmetic surgeon have heard something about it by now? (Truly, I believe he isn't interested in me at all, just my checkbook.)

It was awkward to apply. I had to purchase a handheld mirror large enough to steady with my thighs. Because I didn't want to get anything on me and I found the length of the applicators too short, I went ahead and used some old make-up brushes I had lying around.

The results were BEAUTIFUL! My silver fox couldn't keep his hands off of me.. until the dye wore off onto his hands. However, we now make sure to keep a stock of latex gloves available for those "intimate times".

Ladies, do yourself a favor, and don't let this final imperfection go unchallenged!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 49 of 49 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars The Ideal Mothers Day Gift, February 4, 2012By Sam Jones "Blindman" (UK) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)Struggling for gift ideas. Why settle for plain old chocolate, flowers or books. This could be the ideal solution. It comes in Pink so is suitable for women of all ages. Just watch Nan's face light up at Christmas time!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 152 of 165 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars Great Job !!, February 11, 2010By Count Beefula "Beefy" (NYC) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)I got the ole misses some of this cooter cream cause although she is a classic let's just say she wasn't garage kept. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish. My only question comment is that I wish it had that new car smell, or maybe leather. But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 36 of 36 people found the following review helpful5.0 out of 5 stars Does exactly what it says on the tin!, January 31, 2012By Ron Seal - See all my reviewsThis review is from: My New Pink Button - Bettie (Health and Beauty)Bought Mrs Seal a tin of My New Pink Button for her birthday. She was over the moon, it was as easy to apply as a new coat of creosote to the shed, and all most as much fun too. Her freshly painted poonani now looks less like a badly packed kebab and more like a more a newly budding rose.
Thanks MNPB!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Who knew greying private parts was a problem that needed solving? Amazon sell £30 dye to restore 'rosy hue' - but hilarious reviews slam 'ridiculous' productMy New Pink Button is a temporary cosmetic genital dyeAvailable in four shades; Ginger, Marilyn, Audrey and BettieDesigned to counteract the 'greying' of the labia Available to buy on Amazon for around £23 ($36.95)Three of the four shades have already sold outBy 299View
comments
While waxing and grooming of pubic hair has long been de rigueur, the increasing popularity of  labioplasty and other cosmetic procedures for women's private parts suggests that the appearance of the nether regions is becoming something of an obsession for appearance-concious women.However the latest product to hit the market aimed at the transformation of 'greying' feminine areas may be a step too far for some.My New Pink Button is a cosmetic genital dye that claims to be able to restore women's labia to a 'youthful pink'.
My New Pink Button is a temporary genital dye designed to correct 'greying' and restore a 'youthful pink' to a woman's nether regionsAvailable to buy on Amazon for £23 ($36.95), My New Pink Button comes in four shades, 'Ginger', 'Marilyn', 'Bettie' and 'Audrey' all packaged in a Fifties-style tin.The dye is temporary and is applied with an applicator to the area where it takes effect immediately.While one may question where the idea for such a product came from, the website states that the 'patent pending formula' was designed by a certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital colour loss. While looking online for a solution the website says she discovered 'thousands of other women' asking the same questions regarding their colour loss. After much research she could unearth no solution and, after a discussion with her gynecologist, she decided to create her own.'Now there's a solution!' the website crows, as if it were they had found the answer to some question we'd all been asking.Each so-called Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, a mixing dish, the labia colourant and an instructional guide.The four shades of dye mean you can pick the level and intensity of change - ranging from Marilyn at the lighter end to Audrey at the darkest. 
Three of the four shades are currently out of stock on the website, with only 'Ginger' still available
Each Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, mixing dish, the labia colorant dye of your choice and an instructional guideThe darkest shade is described as for the 'woman who wants to be daring' to give a 'bold burgundy pink colour'.'Perfect for everyone, and your own base colour will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight it's Show time!!' the website states.However for those less willing to make a statement with their lady-parts there is Marilyn 'for beginners'. 
Many of the top rated customer comments are decidedly tongue-in-cheekMarilyn is described as perfect for those 'who want to make a slight, fresh colour change in their appearance or those who are very fair skinned' while Bettie prompts a more exciting description.The website says: 'Think of that favourite lipstick you wear for those dressy black tie affairs and think "Bettie". This shade blends with a woman's own skin tones to bring out that "sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look". Go dancing this weekend and remember to bring "Bettie" along!'But those who have discovered the product for sale on Amazon have had mixed reactions, with most of the top rated customer reviews taking a slightly tongue-in-cheek attitude to the existence of My New Pink Button.Despite the understandable cynicism surround the necessity of labia dye, nearly all the shades of the dye have sold out, with only two pots of 'Ginger' remaining in stock.



http://www.amymahvampire.com 

Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: 
www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon Amy has written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night.










Body Swap




Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation. 
Nor was having to attend a demonic high school for the magically gifted. 
When the most magical thing you could do was set your own underwear on fire.
 Life was not going to be easy, even less so with a painful tail that everyone trod on.
 Owning a magic sword that always tried to look up your skirt when fighting was not helpful. 
But then nor was having a telepathic diary that corrected your thinking instead of your spelling.
www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm




Amazon Link:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Smoking-Hot-Diary-Fire-Demon-ebook/dp/B00Q8J2UGY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1418091156

Pubic Hair Extensions and Pubic Hair Fashion for Vampires by Amy Mah Vampire

Pubic Hair Fashion for Vampires
My Undead maid died and got turned way back in the dark ages …..During the 1970’s I think, like most of the undead Vampire girls she does not bother with panties …or in fact any underwear! well it is not that they need to visit the bathroom apart from washing blood off the fangs.



So vampires from her time have wonderful examples of Undergrowth …er…..Personal Rainforest, and like the head hair of the undead it instantly grows back if cut ! .................

after the first 100 years they so give up on waxing everyday.


I have noticed that with some of the more fashionable maids turn their rain-forest into a pony tail and the more adventurous ones attach pubic hair extensions from the ones they have killed as a fashion statement along with colored beads or little bells……….you may ask how I know this ……..well they all like wearing very short skirts and bend over a lot when male vampires walk past 
………..well one can’t help but notice 

………...especially when the beads are in day glow orange and green, and as to the little bells 
well they give a completely different meaning to the words having a tinkle.

If you think that is odd you should see what wearing makeup is like for maids which can not see a reflection in a mirror !



http://www.amymahvampire.com 

Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon Amy has written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night.




Body Swap 



Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation. 
Nor was having to attend a demonic high school for the magically gifted. 
When the most magical thing you could do was set your own underwear on fire.
 Life was not going to be easy, even less so with a painful tail that everyone trod on.
 Owning a magic sword that always tried to look up your skirt when fighting was not helpful. 
But then nor was having a telepathic diary that corrected your thinking instead of your spelling.
www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm







Amazon Link:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Smoking-Hot-Diary-Fire-Demon-ebook/dp/B00Q8J2UGY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1418091156

Blade as viewed by a Vampire

Here we have a dark blood thirsty murdering evil that walks the night in search of new ways of killing ………
……. Am I talking about vampires?
No, I am talking about Blade! This monster is a cross between Buffy and Van Helsing but on Acid!
He is very special as he is a day walker type of vampire, this is very rare, but does he use his great gift for good? No just for death and mayhem, which is dished out with such great pleasure, to both his own kind and humans?
He likes to kill with a sword as he says it is a good way to kill vampires ……
….. duh …Like it is a good way to kill most things in both the undead and living world the loss of a head is nature’s way of saying goodbye to the need of visiting a hairdresser ever again.




So that he does not need to drink blood he has a special drug that has to be injected regularly as takes away his blood addiction, one just wishes it would also take away his gross antisocial habits.
Ho yes the drug also make you vomit if you eat food so not someone you will ever wish to have a meal with.
Different from the films in the TV series he has two partners          er…..  well I say partners “Shen” is someone to help with weapons and whom he treats like a vampire pet, and Krista who when turned into a vampire looks to me more normal when she is not taking the drug ……………. Well she kills a lot less people when not on the drug, so I think perhaps it is the drug that makes her evil.
Like the time when two vampires were helping to drive her to a meeting and she just killed them without any real reason!
See evil, ……… What normal person would do something like that if they were not on drugs!


But then normal goes out the window when Krista has to go swimming in a pool of blood ……….. er…. how stupid is that?Just a way of letting everyone on the film set know she is female.
So the idea given of being nude is so she does not make the blood dirty? ……er……….Like would you like to drink it afterwards? And perhaps being the one that finds her pubic hairs in you mouth yuk     ………… and she was under the surface for like 10 hours …….without visiting the bathroom? …………. God she must have a bladder made of cast iron! And another reason not to risk drinking blood people have bathed in!
She must have been just sitting under the surface of the blood with her legs crossed as there is not a lot you can do in blood…………… it is way too sticky to swim in and it separates so quickly when it starts to congeal that you would need to brake the surface scab to let her out ……….
So this is a very good TV series about a mass murderer, someone that has nothing better to do but kill tax paying vampires and their human servants ………..sorry …ok he does not always kill the human servants…no sometimes he just gauges out the eyes!  ..  Er episode 12 – 13 …..for gods sake the now blind man was only an architect and all he was doing is designing a meeting house so why be so nasty? Look at the new jobs he had helped create on building construction sites and now he is blind.
Going back to Blade who is something like a born vampire who started out by just killing people for blood like a normal vampire and then turning the only people that befriended him into vampires leaving left them to be ostracized by the rest of the vampire world because of what Blade got up to by killing vampires for pleasure.
At this point we learn that all gang members that were his friends and have the same gang tattoos as blade has and when they meet up he kills them all!  Well that is not someone I would like to have as a friend on Facebook.
Apart from the normal day to day killings he is kinda pissed off with the House of Chthon but never quite sure why as it is a very good vampire business which supports the arts and local politics, the manager of the House is a turnling called Marcus he is mega cute and without the drug Krista enjoyed being bedded by him on a number of occasions, at least once while Blade watches! The Pervert!!
The ending of the series is good but needs a second series hopefully showing a great and glorious permanent death of blade so that we can all sleep a little easier in out coffins.

VAMPIRE INSPIRED FASHION: CAREFUL, I BITE! Amy Mah Vampire

VAMPIRE INSPIRED FASHION: CAREFUL, I BITE!

We don’t get why zombies are more populare than vampires: the latter are handsome, smart, charming, they can hypnotize you and being bite it’s not that bad. Try to be bit by a zombie! Vampire fashion has always been a source of inspiration for many alternative clothing styles: gothic is the main one (without any doubt!) but everyone can get inspired by vampires, not only goths. Bring mystery, allure, elegance and a bit of brocade into your life and your self-esteem (and boyfriend/girlfriend) will thank you for that!

“I Don’t sparkle ……..I Bite !!!”
Amy Mah – Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

Vampire Inspired FashionVampires are not always that gothic (they’re not always like Lestat from Interview with a Vampire) they can also be trendy and sparling like the infamous Edward (Twilight anyone?). We do prefer gothic vampires of course, because we love the subtle sensuality of the typical Ann Rice vampire: that look will never go out of style! Bring some black, red and purple int your wardrobe! (Oh, you silly mortal!)








www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm


http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_15?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=amy+mah+vampire&sprefix=amy+mah+vampire%2Caps%2C308

Eating Out as a Single Girl by Amy Mah (Vampire)

Eating Out as a Single Girl by Amy Mah  (Vampire)
Every girl remembers the good old Dad and daughter nights out where he would show off his parental skills by picking out a nice succulent morsel for you to eat while he kept careful watch out for the cops.
But as you grow older he may not trust you to have boyfriends up to your room, or let you drive the family car …. But as long as you are home before Dawn and don’t star on murder watch, then the night is yours.


So let me offer some advice
First it is best to go on your own, and yes I know you want to take at least one undead maid with you but you know what happens when the smell of fresh blood hits them and you are left to deal with flashing blue lights and a pile of empties to explain!
Even if you have own personally turned leave her back at the nest, with the personally turned you will get the constant mental communication in your mind:.. “Please mistress can I bite him! He is so cute and I am sure he would not even notice me nibble him if I helped him remove his pants first”.
Plan on what to wear and take with you.
What to wear:
Ok Short Skirts and San Panties may attract attention as you leap across a roof but as you sure you want your food drooling?
Besides even in summer it can get kinda draughty roof hopping and that sort of cold forces you to either cross your legs a lot or spend a lot of time searching for a rooftop restroom.
So ….
1.   Comfy Undies, which means a sports bra and panties that do not try and fit internally.
2.   Dark Clothing, (Hint) Black is always in fashion for a vampire.
3.   Flat shoes with good firm grip on slopes.
4.   Wear your Helsing body armour! Yes I know it pinches your boobies but they all to that, and a stake would hurt more.
What to Take:
1.   Back pack (in black, with or without bat design)
2.   Cell phone in case you need to call dad if they send a swap team after you like last time.
3.   Wet wipes, small bottle of water and some tissues………… For the messy eater these are a must to remove the blood unless you only hunt on Halloween.
4.   Windup torch, well it is always useful.
5.   Duck tape (in black)
The Food
We all know you can get the blood bagged and yes it is kinda ok, but nothing can compare to a personally hunted meal ….and yes I know we are all living very busy lives nowadays but it is cultural and one should at least try not let a culture suffer just because some vamps think it is cruel to hunt live food.


And let me put your minds to rest and report that the food enjoys being hunted! I have even checked on some of the human hunter sites and hunt your own game fresh sites and they say the game enjoys the chase and if you go for the slow ones then it keeps keep the breeding stock healthy.


I have even seen photos of fish that have been caught several times with proof that they have been hooked more than once so must enjoy the fight with the fisherman….. so you may find that if you do not kill someone you may get the chance in the future as Humans love the thrill of being hunted.       
1.    Fast food ………. The underground railway system is perfect, you can do what ever you want on a tube train and no one even pretends to care, if standing room only then use the duck tape to attach your snack to a hold rail, as it is impolite to have your food drop into the laps of fellow passengers.


2.    If you are not up to a hunt but still want your food fresh, I found wearing a very short skirt and standing on a street corner will get you lots of meals stop their cars and offer their bodies to you, you even get to keep the car after you dump the body.


3.     The first two are far too easy, what you should always go for is the traditional hunt where you can drop down off a roof onto a passing house breaker so show him what it is like to be broken into.   
And yes this is the tradition way and not as the guys would have it as brake into some girls bedroom leaving several hours later without having bitten her, but instead covered in lipstick and bite marks she made on him !    



“Evil is as Evil does” (yes, it is a real saying, you can look it up.)
Why do people think traditional Vampires of Myth are evil? (And then take on their name “Vampire” and dress like them …… Hummmm now that is a whole new ‘can of worms’) What sort of human morality comes into play when you can call a shark or a snake evil and if you did would they care? 
The clue is we are seeing a reflection of ourselves in how they act, and to see evil in a traditional vampire is to say you can see evil in yourselves. 


  See Me at: www.amymahvampire.com









www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm