Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 72

The Beginnings - Part 76: 'HE DOESN'T OWN ME'

What appealed to the young and made them his admirers was his wholesome vigor and still youthful charm which appeared to be resistant to passions, incorruptible and then again boyishly irresponsible—a kind of innocence, that is.
-Hermann Hesse
THE GLASS BEAD GAME

The Beginnings – Part 76: ‘HE DOESN’T OWN ME’

Thursday, August 25, 1983

To my surprise my paycheck for one week of work in San Francisco was $394.53. It was more than I had expected. Hurrah!
In addition, a customer said to me, “You are very helpful and cordial!”
I liked that. I won’t mention what some of the snotty customers said.

I telephoned mom a few times to polish-up our tarnished relationship. I know she was thinking I was ‘one-way’. Ha-ha. That’s the dizzy side of my ‘Jane Russell’ mother. My dad also apologized for his interrogations.

I guess George was right.
George had said, “Parents will believe anything if they don’t want to believe (it) the truth.”
I know my novel will be inspiring to them ‘in the end’.

Scott invited me to George’s farewell party at WHEREHOUSE RECORDS. Scott is George’s boss. I may attend.

Barbara Reynolds sent me a postcard of Joan Rivers that I really liked. What a doll of a woman (meaning Barbara, not Joan).

George was surprised at the party event at Scott’s pad in Los Gatos. It was a very nice social gathering of only fifteen people or so. I liked them all. All of his coworkers were quite nice. I think George was pleasantly surprised that I was there. I know George will miss many of his coworkers. I left by 1PM and drove George home to his mom’s trailer home.

Friday, August 26, 1983
My last day of work in San Francisco was a breeze. David Vigil and I shared the same break periods. At lunchtime we went to the Giovanni ‘such and such’ shop. I found that I got to know David better during the strike period while working in San Francisco (more than when we work together in Downtown Oakland). Dave’s really a nice guy.
David confided in me by saying, “You know, Michael…my brothers and I do strip tease events at bachelorette parties.”
I laughed, although he is a marathon runner and he does have a good looking body (but he’s not my type). When he talks he’s very femme-fatale. I began to wonder if he was hinting for me to join in the strip teasing act. It seemed like it. I didn’t utter a word. I can actually imagine him stripping.
David said, “You know…one night I got about one-hundred and thirty dollars in tips.”
I said, “And I bet they stuffed them all down your drawers.”
“Of course,” he said, smiling, “And I met a couple of girls at the last party. I’m supposed to meet them at LILY’s during Happy Hour tonight.”
“Are you going?” I asked.
“Yes, do you want to go with me?”
“Sure.”
I tagged along. One of them was very pretty but the one I had ‘an eye’ for was extraordinary. Her name is Susan Lowe. She was unique, very delicate on my eyes and so very beautiful. She gave me her telephone number. I gave her my business card after I casually introduced myself. I couldn’t wait to talk to her again. She had to leave LILY’s early. I chose to depart around the same time because I wanted Susan to think I was only interested in her. David left because he was excited about seeing THE OSMONDS concert. I thought that was hilarious.

I cleverly returned to LILY’s because I liked the ambience. Angela, one of David’s redhead girlfriends, gave me her card. She’s a dental hygienist in Concord.
I thought, “Maybe it’s time to get my teeth cleaned.”
My second thought, "Angela seems too old for me."

I was home by 9:30PM. I didn’t bother to call George. I know he wanted me to drive over there but I wasn’t in the mood for the excursion. I hate having to drive all the way down to Sunnyvale all of the time.

Saturday, August 27, 1983

I went to work at 7AM to take advantage of the overtime. It was surprised to see Juanita Lane and management there (no one else). Deborah Smith, one of the Assistant Managers, was ultra-cool. I like her carefree nature when she’s not being so professional. I wrote out a card for her because she’s handling the payroll. Maybe she’ll had a few more ‘hours worked’ on my behalf. I could use the extra bucks.

Apparently, Paige LaBris phoned me.
She left a message: “Hey Mike, I’m planning a trip to San Francisco.”
She hasn’t called me again, so I don’t know what happened.

I made a ‘heavy date’ with Susan Lowe for tomorrow at 4PM. I foolishly told George about my meeting Susan. At first, George didn’t feel it was fair and he felt threatened; however, he now seems to feel she’s an okay non-threatening date. My power of persuasion seemed to help. I knew he still silently wondered if she might be a threat to our relationship though.
I only felt this way because George was urgent when he said, “You will come over here tonight.”
I know George was pissed-off that I didn’t call him the night before.
Then I thought to myself, “Shit! I’m my own man…he doesn’t OWN me!”
As we discussed Susan, George asked me, “Are you bored with me?”
“Of course not,” I answered positively.
I still feel he is unsure; however, it will not stop me from getting to know Susan.

I learned that Susan had been attending Pepperdine University in Malibu. She was actually living in the Malibu area. She seems to be very much ‘my type’, too.

“I thought it was a bit naughty.”
-as heard in the 1998 film
VELVET GOLDMINE

The Beginnings - Part 75: THE CHARACTER ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS ARE MADE-UP

According to Patrick Hourcade, ‘Karl Lagerfeld is by nature someone who needs to evolve, that is why he is so at ease in fashion, which is a world that is in a constant state of evolution. He doesn’t want stability; change is his life-motor. He is not unstable, he is insatiable, hence the need for nourishment all around him.’
-Alicia Drake
THE BEAUTIFUL FALL

The Beginnings – Part 75: THE CHARACTER ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS ARE MADE-UP

Wednesday, August 24, 1983

Besides another low sales day (only $200) I was still assigned to work in San Francisco during this ‘waiting game’ of the ongoing strike. Lilia, the Assistant Manager, makes the work environment fun though. She really is what a great AM (Assistant Manager) should be.

The highlight of my day was calling mom at home and learning that she was at my future Islandia Townhouse home at 3348 Solomon Lane.
I asked, “What are you doing?”
She answered honestly, “Well, I’m here talking to your dad.”
“What are you talking about?”
She surprised me with an out-of-the-blue question: “Is George a gay?”
Right then…I knew they had been reading my journal entries. I could tell she was heartbroken to learn what she had read. I was pissed-off that they were looking through my personal things.
“No,” I said, “Let me call you back…I have a phone call.”
After I hung-up the phone I figured I’d just let time pass and let bygones be bygones.

Actually, when I initially called mom I didn’t know really know if she’d read excerpts from my journal. I thought about it continuously and couldn’t figure out how they got the idea in their heads that George was ‘gay’. It’s funny now that I write about it.

When I returned home from work I found myself getting into a stupid conversation with Dad.
I said, “George isn’t gay!”
Dad kept saying things like ‘What if this…and what if that…”
I left because there was no use trying to explain to him that my journal is a book of fiction.
I lied by saying, “That journal is a piece of art…a novelty.”
In a way, it is very much a piece of novelty art through my eyes. I look forward to condensing the entirety of all of my writings one day.

I headed for the Alameda Townhouse and left with my journals and greeting cards in the trunk of my car. I needed to escape. I drove to Sunnyvale.
“I think my parents read parts of my journal…about you.”
“What?”
“Yes!”
And so, to get our minds cleared we went to see a double-feature: CUJO and CREEPSHOW. They were enjoyable films because they took our minds away. I don’t think George was totally satisfied by them but it was something I needed. I enjoyed them.

I left mom a note, explaining that my journal is partly fiction.
I wrote: ‘The character names are real people but the character actions and thoughts are made-up to make it more interesting for a potential storyline or plot…maybe even a murder.’

I thought of that word in Stephen King’s book, The Shining: REDRUM (which is MURDER spelled backward).
I thought, "This is killing me, another form of murder."
The question is whether my mom or dad would fall for what I was saying. I guess they can only assume that I am telling the truth. I don’t feel ready to disclose my true feelings. I’m embarrassed. I’m homophobic.


Rain would have been more appropriate for what I was feeling.
-Christopher Bram
SURPRISING MYSELF, a novel

The Beginnings - Part 74: THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

Children love to play in the piles of leaves, hurling them into the air like confetti, leaping into soft unruly mattresses of them. For children, leaf fall is just one of the odder figments of Nature, like hailstones or snowflakes. Walk down a lane overhung with trees in the never-never land of autumn, and you will forget about time and death, lost in the sheer delicious spill of color. Adam and Eve concealed their nakedness with leaves, remember? Leaves have always hidden our awkward secrets.
-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 15, 1987

This is a random photograph of me, seated on my living room couch at 3348 Solomon Lane, Alameda, California with my black panther print overhanging on the wall (inspired by my love for the Nastassja Kinski film CAT PEOPLE). PHOTO:  Michael J Armijo
The Beginnings – Part 74: THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

Monday, August 22, 1983

I brought Lilia De Morales my letters that I’d received from Maria De Lourdes.
Lilia commented, “I thought they were kind of dull.”
I laughed. I guess she expected some steamy, sex letters.

I ended up having a little sales contest with Lilia while at work. She won, of course. The tentative prize is for me to treat for drinks at the HYATT REGENCY in San Francisco. Who knows? The strike may be officially over effective on Thursday, so there’s no telling when I can provide the prized cocktails.

After work I took BART to the Fruitvale BART station and found my car safe and sound in the BART parking lot. I drove to San Leandro for another load of my goods and transported them to the Townhouse in Alameda.

While at the Townhouse I decided to paint the stairwell railing.

I spoke to George by phone for a while and promised to call him again at around 10:30PM in Los Gatos.
George had asked, “What size KQAK T-shirt do you want?”
I was excited about that because he knew I wanted one. I love that KQAK radio station. He has some musical pull for t-shirts and tickets at WHEREHOUSE RECORDS.
George also asked, “Can you come over this Wednesday night?”
“Maybe,” I said, “I’ll see what I can do.”
However, I doubt that I will go. It’s such a tiresome drive on a weekday when I have to work the following day.

I was a bit pissed-off because that first card that I mailed to Ann-Margret was returned to me with a stamp on it: “no such address”. Now I’m wondering what happened to the other two cards I sent her. The third card was that really cool “BALLOON” card, too. Oh well…I will try and mail it again in care of Colombia Pictures. Maybe it will be forwarded to her (somehow/someway).

Today, David Vigil and I shared lunchtime together. We talked about the telephone company strike and our respective weekend.
Dave said, “I went dancing at TOSCADERO’s and ECHO BEACH.”
“Well, I’ve been painting up a storm, getting my new pad ready.”

I was too tired to call George as I’d promised. I ended up falling asleep by 10PM. The CIRCUS OF THE STARS TV show didn’t keep me awake.

Tuesday, August 23, 1983

Today was an okay sort of day. I only sold $288 worth of telecommunications services though.

My Supervisor, Ida, is super ‘keeno’. I find her pleasant to work for.

There was a lull in the day when no phone calls were coming in. I found myself making a list on a yellow memo about subjects that would be good for ‘my book’:
Murder
Intrigue
Initial Friendships
Long-Term Friends
Adultery
Incest
Death
Suicide
Mental Illness
Humor
Romance
Horror
Gothic
Novel
Character Build-up
Sexuality: homo, hetero, bi, asexual
Children and Childhood
Secrets
Plot Twist
The Element of Surprise

The free food in the cafeteria is spoiling both me and David Vigil.

David and I were having dinner when this guy named Jim Lucero joined us.
He’s a really nice guy but I’m sure he’s gay because he said, “My lover and I bought a house back East.”
He seems like a nice guy and I am wondering if we might be distant relatives given that my mother’s maiden name is Lucero. It’s a mystery. Jim Lucero walked with me to the BART station. We talked about the current work environment and other ‘small talk’. I shared with him about a friend of mine (George) moving-in with me at the Townhouse in Alameda. It was a cool, harmless conversation.

After the BART ride I drove my car home and went for a long bike ride along the beach. I dropped by to see Suzy and Renee Miller. I almost joined them for dinner at THE SIZZLER but I wasn’t very hungry. Instead, I continued riding my bike. I saw a number of good-looking ones while riding my bike this evening. That’s a surprise.
PHOTO:  George Gregg Jones, 1983
This morning I telephoned George Jones in Los Gatos and he said, “I’m getting my haircut today.”
He’s was staying in Dan and Ken’s apartment in Los Gatos. I must admit that the surroundings are much better than his mother’s trailer.
George also mentioned, “I’ll be moving-in to the condo in Alameda on September 2nd…but I’ll be moving my stuff there on Monday, August 29th…if that’s okay.”
“Sure,” I replied as I realized that the time is drawing near.

“I just thought you should know the story behind these stories in case anyone should ask.”
-Jeremy Irons as ‘The Old Man’
In the 2012 motion-picture THE WORDS

The Beginnings - Part 73: NOTHING REAL WILL COME OF IT

People are what matter.  They’re so much more fascinating than ideas.
-GOOD,
A 2008 motion-picture,
Starring Viggo Mortensen

The Beginnings – Part 73:  NOTHING REAL WILL COME OF IT

Saturday, August 20, 1983

Well, I spent the day painting the walls and ceilings at 3348 Solomon Lane, the Alameda Townhouse, with mom and dad. We made a great team and we accomplished so much. It was a job well done.

I found myself cruising my bike on Harbor Bay Isle again. I had missed the familiar roads.

When I arrived home I broiled a steak with veggies and a salad and fruit for dessert. Mom was surprised. I sure made it look good because I used mom’s China and set the table nicely. We ate and settled the ‘yucky’ feeling after all of our hard word.

Mom and I watched EXORCIST II which was on videocassette. I fell asleep before the very end. I guess I’ll never see the end of that movie.

I didn’t see George Jones tonight. It’s just as well because he was felling totally out-of-it. I was surprised that he didn’t even go to work. I’m glad the hot water with lemon and tea I recommended helped him.
George said, “Yes, it really helped by getting me to sweat the fever out of my system.”

Sunday, August 21, 1983
I drove to San Leandro to bring another load of my belongings to the Townhouse. I wanted to get a good head start. It is only one week and a half until September 1st. I was a little surprised when I checked my mailbox. I found a card from George. It was a neat looking scenic view of San Francisco. He wrote about how excited he was about our living together in Alameda. I know we’ll have good times there.

I scraped off one of the unpainted walls in the Townhouse. I tried to smooth it over while mom and dad painted the kitchen. The place was looking ‘hot’. I love it more and more each time I visit.

The latest media flash has stated that the Communication Workers of America have accepted a contract by AT&T. This means that I may be able to go back to work in Downtown Oakland. This cheers me up quite a bit.

I took a nice bike ride to the bank today. I have approximately five-hundred dollars in my savings account. I’ve got to build that balance to a more respectable figure.
This means that I must say to George, “Control your spendthrift ways!”
I mean, I love to shop, too. There simply has to be a limit.

AT&T’s contract includes job security and a 5.5% wage increase. Hurrah! I suppose that means the strike really is over. However, at my local level they say that an official settlement should be delivered by Thursday. I will have to call Ida, the Union steward, tomorrow morning for the latest scoop.

Sherri Lewis called at about 6:20PM. She thought I was John when I answered the phone.
I said, “No, it’s me.”
Sherri and I spoke of Hawaii, my moving back to Alameda (which she learned from John), the Gigolo music group and her ‘Road Show’ group that she saw at The Jazz Cellar.
Sherri wondered aloud, “I wonder if they’re the same group.”
“I’m not sure…great memories though. I love that group.”
I didn’t say it but I thought the lead singer was ‘A-OK’.

When my brother, John, arrived home tonight he confided in me about his latest news. He is apparently seeing his ex-girlfriend again: Sherri. In addition, he is seeing a twenty-nine year old married woman named Susan.
I asked, “Where did this Susan come from?”
“She works with me at GALLAGHERS.”
“Oh,” I said, “Well, you’re crazy to keep seeing the married chick when you know nothing real will come of it.”
Mom and I watched Jerry Lewis in that great movie called VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET. It was funny.   It's such a great movie.

We started to watch THE CHIPMUNKS, starring Alvin, Theodore and Dave, with my brother, Tony, when mom received a call from my Dad’s niece, Cecelia Markus. Cecelia loves to call and gossip with mom about ‘whatever’ every so often.

Tomorrow is another work day. At least Thursday is another pay day. It may be a relatively small amount but something is better than nothing right now.

“I hate psychology…it’s a soft science.”
“I know…but people are mostly soft.”
-BONES, TV series
Season I, Pilot episode

The Beginnings - Part 72: FUN TO BE AWAKE

Excessive disruption of ordered life makes the old classical poise and self-assurance vanish; whereas, men come more and more to lean on a greater-than-man.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

The Beginnings – Part 72:   FUN TO BE AWAKE

Thursday, August 18, 1983

Today I expect my Queen-sized bed to be delivered by CAPWELL’s to the Alameda Townhouse. I will have to check it out this weekend when I move some of my stuff there. My mom will be waiting for the delivery. It’s so nice of her to do that for me.

I may take up George on his offer to treat me to a movie tomorrow night. I do want to see Stephen King’s film version of CUJO. The other two films I’d like to see are EASY MONEY and RISKY BUSINESS.

There is only one manager at work. I forget her name but she’s super nice. She wants to interpret the letters I received from Maria de Lourdes in Guadalajara, Mexico. I will have to bring the letters in to work tomorrow. I understand parts of it but there are some Spanish words that a puzzling.

George’s mother happened to be home sick today, so George and I didn’t bother to talk much.

Working in San Francisco is starting to become more bearable. I guess I didn’t like it in the beginning because it was such a big change to my usual routine. It really isn’t bad at all. I like the perk of ‘free food’ in the cafeteria during this ‘On-Strike’ period. I know it won’t last much longer.

After reviewing my new SEPTEMBER 1983 ESQUIRE Magazine tonight I was in a lounging mood. I watched TV and laughed to myself while watching Carol Burnett and Vicky Lawrence in MAMA’S FAMILY. It’s a pretty good show.

Friday, August 19, 1983

I purposely forgot to bring Maria De Lourdes’ letters to the office. I figured it really wasn’t any of that Assistant Manager’s business. I don’t know her well enough. I got to know her better today. Her name is Lila De Morales. She seems like a nice lady. Now I feel bad that I didn’t bring Maria’s letters to translate. I will bring them on Monday of next week (if we are still on-strike). I am still working in San Francisco but that could be halted as early as next week.

I rode my bike for the first time to and from the BART station since I had fallen near those railroad tracks off of Washington Avenue in San Leandro. My San Leandro bicycling days have been bad luck. I got my second flat tire while attempting an evening excursion to Lake Chabot. Such is life.

I went on the bike excursion because I figured I wasn’t going to see George for that movie after all. George felt sick. If he isn’t feeling better on Saturday morning I may not drive to Sunnyvale tomorrow either. I thought his cold was all in his mind and suggested he drink hot tea to soothe his throat.

When I happened to get that flat tire along 150th Street I tired filling the tire with air at a local SHELL OIL Service Station but it didn’t get me very far (only three feet). I ended up walking my bike all the way back to my apartment. Once home I packed a few things (along with my bike). I will get the flat tire fixed at my local bike shop in Alameda. It’s probably time for a tune-up anyway.
PHOTO:  Actor Willie Aames
I did phone George to see how he was feeling. Then I watched THE EDGE OF NIGHT episodes that mom taped for me this week.
It cracked me up when mom said, “That new guy in Monticello reminds me of George.”
THE EDGE OF NIGHT takes place in the fictitious town of Monticello.  Mom was referring to actor Willie Aames as looking like George.  I would have to disagree with that. I think George is one hell of a lot better looking.

After THE EDGE OF NIGHT episodes I fell asleep watching THE EXORCIST II. I woke up just before mom arrived home from work at 2AM. I watched part of YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS with her at this late hour. It was fun to be awake when she arrived home. She filled me in on what was going on with the soap opera too.  It’s all ‘more of the same’...just like real-life.

You can’t communicate with anyone unless you have a good heart with them.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

The Beginnings - Part 71: 'I HOPE HE LIKES GIRLS'

She still lingered in his mind.  He wondered what she was doing right now.
-as heard during the 2009 Australian film
MARY AND MAX

Twenty-five years ago Photo: September 12, 1987


PHOTO: Michael Joe Armijo
Self-Portrait of me after a bike ride, wearing my dad’s lambs’ wool jacket, my Donald Duck caricature T-shirt at the Alameda Townhouse


The Beginnings – Part 71: ‘I HOPE HE LIKES GIRLS’

Wednesday, August 17, 1983

George spent the night and it was nice to wake up with him.

I learned that Helen Wong had called and George took a message.
George said, “I just told her you’d gone to work.”
“What else did she say?” I asked.
“I think she was surprised that I answered the phone because she asked what was going on between us.”
“I see.”
I didn’t appreciate her interrogations.
I thought it was interesting when Helen said to me later, “I hope he likes girls.”
I thought that was a pretty tight-ass comment and I didn’t respond to it. What an itch-bay!

There are a few really nice Service Representatives at the San Francisco-Yerba Buena Pacific Telephone office. It’s not so bad working with them during this ‘On-Strike’ period. I hate the commute to the ‘gross’ building though.

Once I returned home I found a note from George. He also returned my BULLOCKS Department Store charge card.
George wrote: ‘Dan, Ken and I drove by to see the Alameda townhouse. It’s looking good.’
It will be fun being ‘roomies’ with George. I just know it. My only issue is when I may meet ‘a certain gal’ that I will want to date. That may be an ‘uh-oh’ passage in time. George wasn’t at home when I tried to telephone him.
George’s mom said, “Oh…George went shopping.”
I thought to myself, “He better quit all of this shopping business and stop spending!”

Frank called from THE WEIGHT ROOM where he works out. I may cruise over there but I’m not so sure.

After a half hour I decided to go to THE WEIGHT ROOM after all. It was no thrill. It’s a dive kind of a place. I didn’t like Frank’s new ‘body wave’ hairdo either. I think it looks so ugly. His friend, Sean, was there and I thought he had nice legs. That was a surprise. It was probably because he just got back from Hawaii. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Tan legs look better than white legs. I didn’t stay at THE WEIGHT ROOM for very long. It looked like such a dumpy place. It’s a good thing they’re remodeling the joint.

Helen called me and asked, “Why didn’t you stop by for dinner?”
“Well, I didn’t want to be the only scab amongst you and your guests. I know Derek, Geneva and you are still on-strike.”
She shrugged, thinking I was silly.
Helen asked, “Why don’t you join Carol and another girlfriend I know to the BLACK ANGUS tonight?”
I somehow got out of it. I wanted to simply stay home.
I watched a bit of DYNASTY tonight and hit the sack. I heard via the National News that AT&T is at the bargaining table and finally reached an agreement today. A possible settlement may be completed by this weekend. This is good news!

I talked to George over the phone about our moving-in together.
George excitedly said, “I may treat you to a movie on Friday night.”
“Do you really want to?”
“Sure!”
I don’t know if I really want to drive all the way down to Sunnyvale though. I may just stick around here and work on packing things into boxes for the big move to the townhouse.

I thought about how George’s father ‘caught us in the act’. George doesn’t mention it anymore but I still can’t forget that moment.

The look on his face will always be with me. First surprise, turning quickly to shock, then the coldest, most angry, knowing look I’ve ever seen. He just stood there staring at us.
-James Kirkwood
GOOD TIMES, BAD TIMES, a novel

The Beginniings - Part 70: YOU NEVER KNOW

“Sometimes my family’s secrets were so well kept that even those who once knew them forgot what they knew, and maybe that was the real point. We kept secrets not to hide things from the world but to hid them from ourselves.”
-Margaret Hawkins
HOW WE GOT BARB BACK

The Beginnings – Part 70:   YOU NEVER KNOW

Monday, August 15, 1983

The last thing I remember last night was when Helen Wong called me.
I said to Helen, “I’m not going to work.”
However, I did go. I took BART this morning to San Francisco and the picketers that were there (who I did not know) called me names.
They shouted, “Scab, Scabby!”
It didn’t really faze me. I had my SONY music headphones on. It was easy to ignore them.

I shared my first break with David Vigil, a fellow coworker who couldn’t afford to miss a paycheck also. David took the initiative to invite me downstairs to the cafeteria. It kind of surprised me. I guess he’s okay when he is in the mood to socialize (even if he is a femme fatale).

During my lunch hour Suzy Miller and I met and we had some cream of vegetable soup at some hole-in-the-wall joint. We talked for a good while. It seems that she is quite overtaken with this whole Christianity business right now.
I said, “I’m moving back to Alameda.”
She was interested in the details. I mentioned George Jones and the possibility of him as a roommate.
“Are you sure you can trust him?” She asked.
I found myself trying to prove he was a nice guy and would be a good roommate.
She gave me one of her 'you never know' looks.
I also received a card in the mail from Suzy. It was very sweet of her. I found it quite different for her to send a card when it wasn’t a Birthday or Christmas.

Working in San Francisco was not really so bad. The food in the cafeteria was free. They treated us to an ice-cream Sundae later in the afternoon.

After the BART ride home I took a bike ride to The Donut Factory. Unfortunately, Tammy wasn’t working. The cycling was still worth the trip. It was probably more worth it than seeing her.

I phoned George before I left for my bike ride but his mom answered the phone.
George’s mom said, “Oh…he’s out for the evening.”
I thought that was a strange comment and it made me wonder where he went gallivanting.

Barbara Reynolds called me.
I confessed, “I couldn’t take it and I went to work in The City.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you have to do what you have to do.”
I think she understood my predicament. As I discussed Tammy I found it interesting to hear Barbara’s opinion.
Barbara said, “I don’t think you really like Tammy.”
I believe I agree with her statement. I like her as a friend but not as more. I mean, I know I ‘kind of’ like her but George really described her well one time.
George had said once, “Tammy is so plastic!”
All in all, I guess I’m still having dinner with Tammy tomorrow night. I am sure George will come up to go to the gay roller skating rink because there is some movie-making deal that is going on there. I don’t really want George to call me from the skating rink. I despise driving there. I hope he doesn’t expect me to go with him to San Francisco a lot. I’m not really into going out to the gay scene there. I like the City for shopping, restaurants and some of the dancing night life. I also enjoy a spontaneous cruise to Sausalito or a simple walk along Fisherman’s Wharf. A concert or a museum visit in The City works for me, too. Ha-ha…I guess I will visit there a lot. There is a lot to do.

I made a fifty dollar withdrawal from my bank because I feel naked when I’m broke. TOGO’s was closed, so I ended up being naughty. I went to buy a Whopper with Cheese at BURGER KING.

Now I am here all by my lonesome with my days numbered in this San Leandro apartment. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE is on television. It seems to be getting into a sentimental storyline. It’s not helping my feeling of loneliness.

I wonder where George has ‘run-off’ to. I hope he’s thinking of me. If he doesn’t call me tonight I don’t feel like being home for his call tomorrow. Why am I like that? I guess I just want him to appreciate me more because I am so appreciative of him. I still miss him a lot when I am not with him. I only hate our little ‘knit picky’ remarks to each other like “what’s wrong?” or “smart ass”. I feel kind of grumpy sometimes because I have to cruise around in my car all of the time. The drive back and forth to Sunnyvale is no consolation prize. I do look forward to September 2nd when he will finally move-in. He will not bring any furniture or junk…only ‘himself’.

I have to call Kami to find out more about his surprise going away party.

Tuesday, August 16, 1983

My second day as a ‘scab’ and it was okay. It seems to be getting better. Dave Vigil talks to me more often here than he does at the Downtown Oakland office. I don’t really like the ‘vibes’ with all of these gay dudes who are floating around in this San Francisco office. Ugh! I know Dave loves it.

After work I received a phone call from George.
“Hi, I’m at Dan and Ken’s and I might be coming over to skate tonight.”
We didn’t really have a very good conversation because I was feeling a rather ‘blah-zay’.

By 8:15PM I left for MACY’s and bought some ‘neato’ greeting cards. Then I went to the gay roller skating rink and hung out there from 9:30PM until Dan, Ken and Toni arrived. I asked them about George.
Dan said, “Oh, he’s coming…he’s just riding in Kevin’s car.”
Kevin and George finally arrived at around 10:35PM. I chose to leave at 11PM. I felt like a wallflower around there. I don’t even know how to skate. It’s no fun watching them all go round and round. I was getting dizzy and George wasn’t giving me the attention I desperately needed.

George was dropped off at my apartment at 12:40AM. We had a warm, hot night. We slept well. His massage was relaxing. It felt good.

Oh yes…Tammy stood me up for her so-called home cooked dinner at my apartment.
She called to say, “I’m not feeling well.”
That’s what inspired me to simply cruise over to the gay roller skating rink to see George. It’s too bad he arrived so late. I didn’t like being ogled and checked-out by every Tom, Dick and Harry. I was clearly the new kid in town and everyone was wondering and whispering about me.

“I feel frightened and confused, wondering what the future will bring.”
-Lucy Muir
THE GHOST AND MRS. MUIR, 1947 film

The Beginnings - Part 69: YOU'RE SUCH A GENTLEMAN

One of the ways I travel these days has been memories, memories of all the wonderful places I have been.
-May Sarton on October 28, 1993
At Eighty-Two, a Journal

The Beginnings – Part 69:   YOU'RE SUCH A GENTLEMAN

Saturday, August 13, 1983

I cleaned up the wallpaper job I started at the Alameda Islandia Townhouse. I left and mom and dad remained there doing their own special clean-up. I’m so lucky to be given the opportunity to live there. I know Dad is giving me a low ball cost deal.

I had my car washed and ended up going to that combination Birthday/Housewarming party that Barbara invited me to attend in Berkeley. Helen was there, too. It was a quaint, relaxed sort of party with a lot of Berkeley-like strangers. I found it fun and different.

After the party I returned to the Townhouse. More progress has been made. Mom is does such a professional job with the cleaning. Mom took a break and treated me to dinner at The Sizzler in Alameda.

I decided to drive down to Sunnyvale a bit later to see George. We spent the night together again. We also took a nice walk to 7-11 for some coffee Hagen-Daz ice-cream. We both have a weakness for the flavor.

I woke George at 5:30AM for some enticing Saturday morning activities. He wasn’t too thrilled. He was just thrashed. In fact, that is his usual phrase.
“I just feel thrashed!”

Sunday, August 14, 1983

George made light waffles for breakfast. We followed the delicious breakfast with a visit to MACY’s at the Vallejo Shopping Center. I took notice of a beautiful blond girl while at MACY’s. I didn’t bother to mention it to George, knowing how he isn’t too thrilled to hear such things from me.

I had planned to buy a comforter for my new Queen sized brass bed but we couldn’t find one that we both liked. I dropped George off at the Wherehouse and then I skedaddled home to sleep.

Dad telephoned to fill me in on the latest accomplishments at the Townhouse.   I was happy that he thought to keep me informed.

I tried to sleep and was surprised by a phone call from Tammy Duhr! I was beginning to think she was history.
Tammy said, “I’m working in Hayward now at The Donut Factory.”
“Wow, that’s cool,” I replied as a hopeful sign of encouragement.
I decided to drive over to see her because we reconnected so well over this phone call.

We talked and shared our latest ‘goings on’ over these last few weeks that we’d been out-of-touch.
Tammy announced, “I insist on cooking you dinner on Tuesday night.”
“Are you sure?”
“How could I not…you’re such a gentleman.”
I like when she called me a gentleman.  I guess it was the way I kissed her hand that made her say it. She had telephoned me while she was at her job because it was a slow period.
Tammy confessed, “I just needed to call you ‘as a friend’ and I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m glad you did. I’ve missed you.”
“I actually bought you a card while I was in L.A. and I have some pictures of me that I want to give you.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to the Tuesday night dinner.”

George said he may visit me on Tuesday night but I don’t know if he will actually do so. Nothing definite was planned, so the dinner with Tammy is still ‘on’.

I forgot to call that girl named Vicki Lane from the silly Computer Dating Service. She will just have to wait (I guess). She may not be very high-caliber. Who knows if she would meet my standards?

I just had a brainstorm idea. I want to have mirror put on an entire wall of the Townhouse living room area. I think it will make that area look bigger. I may do it. We shall see.

I telephoned Frank.
Frank said, “I called yesterday to invite you to a Wine and Cheese festival in Hayward.”
“Oh…I wasn’t home because I was fixing up the townhouse. That was so nice of you to think of me.”
“It’s okay.”
“Well, I wanted to tell you about this movie I loved so much called MIDNIGHT EXPRESS. It was such a thriller!  That Brad Davis actor was excellent.”
"I heard about it.  I'll have to see that one."

I finally broke down and called Vicki Lane, the computer gal. I gave her the choice of calling me in the future. If I never hear from again it probably wasn’t meant to be. I do think that when I start work at Pacific Telephone again I may investigate her phone bill and her address and pay a sneak visit. It’s just a thought. It would be fun to do without any strings attached.

“One dream come true in a lifetime is already a bounty from the Gods. Dream on, and you will be disappointed.”
-Bette Bao Lord
SPRING MOON

The Beginnings - Part 68: ACCOMPLISHMENTS

“Shall I be trembling like this and so ill-at-ease when the first duel comes my way?”
He asked himself.
He was too skeptical about himself and about others not to be conscious of the state of his soul.
-Stendhal
THE RED AND THE BLACK

The Beginnings – Part 68:   ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Tuesday, August 9, 1983

After my On-Strike picket duty for Pacific Telephone today I received a ride home by Nici Maurino. She felt free to lie out by the swimming pool with me. She left not long after our time by the pool though.

It is my second day of being On-Strike and I felt like it was a mini-vacation. I chose to cruise over to visit Helen Wong, her sister Geneva and her boyfriend, Derek. I ate dinner with them. I revealed the proof of my wounded knees from when I fell near the railroad tracks. They can’t deny that I fell off of my bike after seeing my poor knees.

By 11PM I was home, eating Hagen-Daz Coffee Ice-Cream. When I stopped for the ice-cream I also bought some bathroom supplies (including lotion).

I was watching The Tonight Show when I received some surprise visitors at about 12:25PM. It was gay roller skating night, so George was in San Leandro with two of his friends (Dan and Ken). They came over. George ended up spending the night. We were laughing and joking around a lot before bed time.

We are planning to go to Chabot College tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 10, 1983

Instead of going to Chabot College we ended up going to Alameda. We left my apartment at 9AM as I wanted George to see the Townhouse. He liked it very much.  Will he really move-in with me?

We took BART from the Fruitvale Station to the City and went browsing at Neiman-Marcus. I bought a sweater and got a free gift (hot and spicy peanuts).

After the shopping we went to eat at MACY’s ‘Mama’s’. I bought some new shoes while at MACY’s, too.

We also dropped over to SAKS FIFTH AVENUE. We were still talking about how delicious the blueberry cheesecake was that we shared at ‘Mama’s’. It was exquisite.

We went for a drink at the EQUINOX at the Hyatt-Regency. It was a great random day in The City.

When we returned to my car at the Fruitvale BART Station I drove George home. It was ridiculous to do that during the hectic commuting hours. It was a disaster. Luckily, we had good ‘QUAKE Live 105’ music which make the drive more enjoyable. I will never do that drive during that time frame again. I ended up driving to mom and dad’s house and spent the night there. I wanted to be in Alameda in the morning to continue with getting the Townhouse cleaned-up.

Thursday, August 11, 1983

Today I took off all of the paneling in the living room of the Townhouse. It made the room appear too dark. I also removed the black iron divider. It was quite a job but I accomplished a lot. I began to remove all of the ugly wallpaper too. I will have to finish that project later.

I telephoned George to give him an update on all that I had done today. He seemed pleased about my accomplishments.

The Pacific Telephone Strike is still ‘on’. However, I may start work in San Francisco on Monday. I need the money for my brass bed. No one in my office knows me there so it should be okay. It’s nice to have that option.

Only time will tell how long everything will take. This month of August seems to be flying by so quickly.

Friday, August 12, 1983
It’s amazing what a few days of being On-Strike will do. I learned this morning (from a phone call from Pat Overshoun) that Michael Padazinski chose to quit his job in the RTOC (Residential Telephone Order Center) to move back to Delaware. I will have to phone him on August 23rd when he returns to the Bay Area. He will be back for a few days and I can get the scoop directly from him.

I telephoned Barbara Reynolds and shared the latest news. She invited me to Robert’s tenants’ Birthday/Housewarming Party.

I took off the rest of the wallpaper that I wanted removed from the first floor of the Townhouse. I didn’t even want to attempt the effort upstairs. It looks so much better now.

I picked up my paycheck in Downtown Oakland from Pacific Telephone.

I telephoned Ida and received a return phone call from Deborah Smith. Deborah gave me the address I needed to report to work in San Francisco on Monday, August 15th (strike or no-strike). I intend to work all of the overtime I can get.

I didn’t bother to call George tonight. I won’t phone him for a while. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It turns hour he called me in Alameda (at my mom and dad’s house). I was flattered to know that he thought of me enough to call. Who knew that he thinks of me so much?

Next week I may be working from 7AM until 7PM. I certainly do not intend on making an extended drive down to Sunnyvale to see George. It would be exhausting. Surprisingly, I placed my telephone transfer order from the apartment in San Leandro to Alameda. The phone company may be On-Strike but there are people working. My new service in Alameda begins on August 19th and my new telephone number will be 523-1023. What a great number!

We must remind ourselves to relax…to set aside some time for a retreat, a day of mindfulness.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
BEING PEACE

The Beginnings - Part 67: COMPUTER DATING SERVICE

The first thing he told me about his work was the importance of physical appearance, the dos and don’ts of the successful stakeholder. If you have a receding hairline or a bald spot, it is strictly forbidden to wear a toupee or grow your hair long to comb it across your scalp. For a winning image, you should shave your head, or at least keep your hair short.
-Roberto Saviano
GOMMORRAH

Twenty-five years ago today, September 8, 1987


I received a most wonderful letter from Barbara Reynolds about the recent death of my father (August 29, 1987). I loved her choice of comforting words:



6 Sept. 87

WITH LOVE AND SYMPATHY

Michael,
This is a most difficult letter to write. Perhaps if I can be simple it will be easier.

When I heard last Monday about this sudden tragedy my first reactions were what a nice guy. I remembered him as…always willing to talk and be friendly. Then I began to think about you…and how you must feel. I know how you really loved him and enjoyed his stories. Then too…we haven’t really talked about your dad lately and I can only imagine that you still had a positive relationship with Joe. Any loss is not easy…but his memories will live and you I’m sure know this. Also, you know, life goes on.

I hope your mother has all the support she needs. This is probably the most difficult part…a lost partner…but there are certainly a LOT of women like her around. I mean…in the sort of situation. At least my mother knew that my dad was getting ready to die.

If there is anything I can do to help. Please let me know.
Love Barbara
PS: Home # 843-1933, Work 545-8409

The Beginnings – Part 67:   COMPUTER DATING SERVICE
Monday, August 8, 1983

Well, I’m on strike. I didn’t have to picket at all today. I was assigned to the San Leandro Service Center and they chose to have that facility completely closed. It worked in my favor. I do have to picket tomorrow in Downtown Oakland from 11AM until 2PM though.

This morning I fired up a couple of pork chops. After the great home cooked meal I went to visit mom in Alameda. I persuaded her into accompanying me to Capwell’s. I had to return a shirt and I wanted to look at the brass beds.

As luck would have it I ended up buying a great looking Queen Size brass bed that came with a Chiropractic Association mattress and box spring. Hurrah! I was so tired of sleeping on a futon mat. And now that I’m moving to the townhouse it will be really nice. I’m really getting more and more excited about moving out of this San Leandro apartment.

I ended up staying at mom and dad’s house today. Dad was especially kind as he put iodine on my scraped knees. He was super nice today. It was his birthday and he turned forty-eight years old today. I wished him a ‘Happy Birthday’, of course. With all that has been going on I neglected to get him a card or gift but I know that he understands that I still love him.

John went to Carson City for a vacation getaway.

I left mom and dad’s house after watching today’s episode of THE EDGE OF NIGHT. I took a nap until 5:15PM and the weather was suddenly perfect for driving with the convertible top down.

George called and he shared the mishaps of his crappy day.
George said, “I really missed you today.”
“I missed you.”
“After I see HALL and OATES with Ken and Danny they might drop me off at your place tomorrow night.”
“That’ll be great…we can be together and I can show you the townhouse in Alameda on Wednesday!”
“Yeah, that’s great!”
“By the way…I bought a Queen-sized brass bed today.”
“Oh…did you really?”
“Yes…and there’s another surprise.”
“What?”
“You’ll find out tomorrow.”
I didn’t want to reveal to him that I shaved off my moustache once again. We’ll have to see if he recognizes me.
“I guess I can wait.”
I bet he won’t even notice. I shall see just how observant he can be tomorrow.

I left for a short bike ride across the street and back. I needed to get out for some fresh air because some nerds at some computer dating Service Company keep calling me. It’s difficult for me to hang-up on them because they keep asking me questions. I foolishly answer them, too. I finally agreed to a $1000 30-day trial membership. I think I’ll test it out and see what kind of creeps I might be matched up with based on my answers to the questionnaire. It’s not to say that I would call any of the potential matches…mind you. I’ll simply see how it goes. Well…I did it. I called a girl named Vicki Lane. She seemed pretty nice over the phone. She is only eighteen and has brown eyes and blond hair. She lives near Lake Merritt and her telephone number is 465-7838. This may prove worthwhile. Who knows?

The smile was my reward.
-Daphne du Maurier
REBECCA