Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 73

The Beginnings - Part 66: MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE

Things never turn out just as you expect, and all things considered it had really been very good.
-Pierre Frei
BERLIN, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today, September 7, 1987

PHOTO:
Michael J Armijo and Michael G Miller, Sept. 7, 1987
At the doorway/corridor of 3348 Solomon Lane, Alameda

The Beginnings – Part 66:  MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE

August 7, 1983

Kevin and George left my apartment early this morning. Once they left I went to mom and dad’s house and helped clean-up the townhouse now that mom’s cousin, Sophie, has moved out.

I didn’t bother to call Nici Maurino. I had promised a call back but ‘what the hell’. She’s not so reliable herself.

I also learned that the telephone company is on strike; whereby, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. Hurrah! I’m simply happy because my rent will be one-hundred and ninety dollars less as of September 1st.

At approximately 2:30PM this afternoon I returned to my San Leandro apartment and spoke to my next-door neighbor, Ted. We discussed the Pacific Telephone & Telegraph strike.

I finally decided to phone Nici. I would have felt guilty if I didn’t. It wasn’t so bad because there was no answer when I called her. It’s just as well.

Helen called, asking me to come over. I dropped by via bicycle transportation and was pleased to see her and her sister, Geneva. We talked and I felt comfortable enough to take a nap there. They didn’t mind. Helen practiced a bit of manicuring know-how by pushing my cuticles back into a more presentable shape. She also massaged my hands. It’s no wonder that I felt like taking a nap. I was so relaxed and the hand massage felt so good.

When I woke we ate at Round Table Pizza. It was fun to simply eat and chat.

While I was cycling to my apartment I ended up falling on Washington Avenue. I skinned my knee near the railroad tracks. Luckily, there were not a lot of cars around to witness the embarrassing moment. More importantly, my bike was unharmed and my knee will survive. The knee doesn’t look the most beautiful right now though.

My coworker, Pat Overshoun, called.
“Hi Mike.”
At first I didn’t recognize her voice.
“Oh, Hi Pat!”
“I just wanted to tell you that I’m not working tomorrow because of the strike.”
“You know I’m not going either.”
She laughed.
“Good,” Pat said, “I just wanted to make sure.”
It was sweet of her to call me.

I talked to George Jones later. It was after 11PM and we discussed the excitement of our moving-in together.
George said proudly, “I already gave my three week notice at the Wherehouse Record Store.”
“That’s great,” I said, thinking that our living arrangement would be a very good thing.
I know George and I can work out any differences we may have. We are such good friends.

George confided in me about some family problems that he’d come across. He was hesitant at first.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Well, I guess my dad questioned my sister, Becky, about my sexual preference.”
“I knew it.”
“Yeah…”
“I knew when he saw us in bed together he knew something was up.”
“Yes, when he saw us in bed he asked Becky about it.”
“So, what did Becky say?” I asked with bated breath.
“Well, Becky ended up asking my other sister, Cathy.”
“And then?”
“Cathy went to my mom.”
“Oh Wow!”
“Yeah, the whole story cruised through my whole family tree.”
I laughed.
“So, what did you finally do?”
“I just denied it…and I’m not saying a word about it to my pop.”
“Don’t you feel bad that your dad was discussing this with your sisters and NOT…you?”
George finally said in an uncaring tone, “I guess.”
I know the situation will come to pass.  I figure as long as George and I are happy it is all that matters. We already know that we are very, very close friends. That’s all that should matter. I’m just sorry that he has to deal with the crazy mess of family gossip.

“There are darknesses in life, and there are lights. You are one of the lights.”
-Dracula,
From the Bram Stoker 1897 gothic-horror novel

The Beginnings - Part 65: The 'Fun House' Party

Listen to Richard Wagner’s opera or musical drama of TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, and you’ll hear pent-up, soaring, frustrated emotion of an intensity that may drive you to distraction. Wagner himself described the work:

“…a tale of endless yearning, longing, the bliss and wretchedness of love; world, power, fame, honor, chivalry, loyalty, and friendship all blown away like an insubstantial dream; one thing alone left living—longing, longing, unquenchable, a yearning, a hunger, an anguishing forever renewing itself; one sole redemption—death, surcease, a sleep without awakening.
-Diane AckermanA NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES
Twenty-five years ago today
September 6, 1987:
Today was my mom’s 52nd Birthday. Happy Birthday Mom. I LOVE YOU.
Photos I took of Mike Miller and Mike Elliot in my pad, sipping Amstel Light as we decided on what to do for the evening.   We decided to try out the new club near Webster Street called the HOT ROD CAFE.

Mike Miller took this instant polaroid shot outside of the HOT ROD CAFÉ in Alameda.   I am pictured in-between Suzy Miller and Mike Elliot.   The other guy is Mike Miller’s cool pal from Iran.

The Beginnings – Part 65: The ‘Fun House’ Party

August 6, 1983

I woke up too early. My brother, John, and mom were still asleep when I arrived on my bike to Alameda. I decided to go back to sleep myself. An hour or two later I was enjoying breakfast. Mom makes the best breakfast.

I enjoyed some of John’s diverse music albums before I left.

Once I arrived to my apartment in San Leandro I felt restless and chose to hop on my bike again for a ride via Lake Chabot and in and around Castro Valley. I found my Aunt Lillian’s house. She was amazed that I rode my bike all the way there. It was a brief, fun, family visit. I was happy with the extraordinary ride. It was one ‘helluva’ ride up and down Seven Hills Drive (going up is a stretch but going down is a wonderful feeling).

I showered when I arrived home and spoke to Mike Padazinski over the phone.
“Yeah, Mike…thanks for informing me that I had the wrong ORTS service. Tony is going to correct it on Monday…if we don’t go On-Strike.”
“Isn’t it crazy that they can’t settle?” Padazinski asked.
“I know…only time will tell.”

Frank Vasconcellos called me and we contemplated a possible movie outing. Of course, as soon as I hung-up the phone I received another call. This time it was George Jones.
I asked, “Don’t you think we should go to Napa?”
“I’d love that,” George replied.
“Me too…but I don’t feel like driving today.”
I guess he (and his pals) may still be picking me up. We shall see.

Then the best news of all arrived. My dad called.
Dad asked, “Guess what?”
“What?”
“Sophie moved out…so you can move in to the townhouse on September 1st.”
I was so ecstatic.
“Are you kidding me?” I shouted the question.
“Yeah,” Dad replied.
I could see Dad smiling. I know he wanted me there.

I quickly called George.
“Guess what?” I asked.
“My mom’s cousin moved out of the townhouse, so I’m moving there next month!”
“That’s very good news.”
I took that to mean that he will agree to be my roommate. If he backs out of the deal there will always be my brother, John, or Mike Miller to consider as hopeful roommates.

I am now here in San Leandro, waiting for my ride to Napa Valley. I was worried that George’s friends might consider me to be a creep because I didn’t want to drive. I decided to call Frank and tell him how I felt.
Frank exclaimed, “Who cares what other people think?”
“You know…when you get right down to it you are so right!”
I hung-up the phone after speaking with Frank and thought, “I hope the ‘Fun House’ Party in Napa is fun.”

Tomorrow I may be going to Alameda to help clean 3348 Solomon Lane (the address of the townhouse). That will be my real-life ‘Fun House’.
Kevin and George ended up picking me up at around 8PM. It was such a hot day. The night felt quite comfortable in Napa Valley. Napa was interesting. The Haunted House was fun. It wasn’t what I expected. I was especially surprised by the trap door. When the trap door opened we all fell onto a lot of Styrofoam. It really was fun, crawling along the crawlspaces with George despite the rub burn on my elbows. I also got rub burns on my hands from the slide. I guess you have to get burned a bit while you are having fun.

After the Napa ‘Fun House’ fun we went to NATIONS Burgers in Napa. I had a scrumptious burger and a piece of cheese cake. After the meal we headed for San Leandro. Kevin slept on my couch while George slept with me. My mind felt ever so excited about the adventures ahead. I like dreaming.

Years of free study…There is, after all, always something wonderful and touchingly beautiful about a young man, for the first time released from the bonds of schooling, making his first ventures toward the infinite horizons of the mind. At this point he has not yet seen any of his illusions dissipated, or doubted either his own capacity for endless dedication or the boundlessness of the world of thought.
-Hermann Hesse
THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel

The Beginnings - Part 64: WHATEVER IT WAS

Maybe he’s really just the simpleton he seems.
-Jules Verne
PARIS IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY, the Lost Novel

The Beginnings – Part 64: WHATEVER IT WAS

August 2, 1983

It was another good productive day in sales for me. Kay, the blond supervisor, and the main supervisor, Ida, observed two contacts on me. Unfortunately, I had the shittiest customers of the day while the listened in on me. I didn’t let it ‘get to me’ though.

After work I went to Alameda and saw my brother, John, and listened to his two new albums: BRYAN ADAMS and SAMMY HAGGAR. I also met some new girl that works with John. She’s okay.

After the visit with my brother I drove to Sunnyvale to pick up George. It was nice spending the night with him again. I think I can admit it now. I love the guy.

August 3, 1983

Work was hectic and quite busy. I had so many customer contacts but they were all service oriented calls. The sales were lackluster in opportunity. The new female boss in the office who has replaced John Taylor came in to visit everyone. She was kind of cute. Could this mean good news? Who knows?

George remained at my house while I went to work.  Kevin came by to visit him. I felt bad that they were kicked out of the swimming pool area because I wasn’t there to accompany them. George was extraordinary today. He stayed at my apartment, waiting for RB FURNITURE to finally deliver that damn table.

When I arrived home George and I fled to San Francisco. We walked around MACYS and EMPORIUM. Then we ended up back in Alameda at SAFEWAY, shopping for our steak dinner that we planned to cook. I love this guy in many ways. It’s funny how we both find it so perfect at times. We often look for knit picky things to argue about. We realize that when we do argue it’s all so very dumb.

Dinner was very good. We enjoyed the warmth of sleeping together after watching DYNASTY. George is special. My emotional state where he is concerned is quite high.

August 4, 1983

Work flew by as do the weeks now that George has begun to occupy more of my time. When I arrived home I found George, dozing off on my couch to a BUCK ROGERS repeat episode. I woke him as he overhead me on the phone, speaking to Barbara Reynolds. I think he got uptight for waking him up.

When I got off the phone George suddenly reacted by saying, “I don’t know how I will deal with it when you meet a girl…or something.”
I just said, “Well, if it happens…we’ll just have to deal with it at that time.”
I do love him wholeheartedly but I can’t limit myself against a girl that could come into the picture. If I see one that I’m H.O.H. (Head Over Heels) for I’ll have to see what happens. We sort of closed that knit picky item after a while.

We shared a sweaty, sexual love-making ordeal in my bedroom. It was long-lasting. It felt good.

I love that new song called MAJOR TOM by Peter Schilling that is sung in part English and German. I love QUAKE radio.

As much as I hated to do so I drove George home to Sunnyvale. I really hate having to drive back and forth. I found myself falling asleep during the drive back to San Leandro. It’s not a good feeling. In fact, I know it’s very dangerous. By midnight I was in bed.
The phone rang. It was George.
“I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t easy. Good night.”

August 5, 1983

The question is whether our office will go ON STRIKE or not. The office celebrated Pat Overshoun’s birthday yesterday and I brought a cake that everyone seemed to love. It was strawberry filled with fresh whipped-cream. It was also the white cake that I love. There was a bit left over for my coffee today.

I telephoned Paige Labris from work. She is flying to Los Angeles to go to Canoga Park for a couple of weeks. I may not see her for a while. However, she did say that the TALKING HEADS concert is a definite possibility as a date for September 2, 1983. We shall see.

Helen invited me to BARNABY’S, a night club. She wants me to meet her and Ruben (another coworker) there. I didn’t go only because I was too pissed-off for a couple of reasons. First, Ron Smith screwed-up my Sunnyvale ORTS order. Secondly, some asshole was fiddling with my bike and scratched the frame and warped the seat. I gave myself a warm-fuzzy though. I went out and bought myself a new shirt and a pair of pants to make me feel better at CAPWELLS during my lunch hour. It’s all thanks to Helen.
Helen said, “You should treat yourself sometimes!”

I didn’t drive down to see George because he got out of work at 10:30PM. It was just too late. Instead, I went to visit dad and managed to watch DARK SHADOWS. It was funny to see that show again after all of these years. It was strangely gothic but still quite good. I made my dad’s lunch as he was working the graveyard shift.

When dad left for work I called George to simply say, “Good night.”

I thought of going out with Frank but he had a date with some chick. He’s working now at some Weight Watchers Health Club.
Frank said, “Some millionaire old man told me I could move-in with him in his $200,000 new home.”
“That sounds pretty fishy to me.”
“Oh he’s straight!”
I said, “Yeah, right!”
Whatever.
I changed the subject and asked, “How is Tammy doing?”
Frank replied, “Oh…she said mentioned you.”
“What did she say?”
“She said ‘whatever it was’ seems to be over.”

“So when you go all the way on your trek, you have beautiful experiences but tough things happen as well. But don’t complain, it’s part of the deal. Life isn’t just a big smile…thank God; it would be extremely boring if it was.”
-Diane de Beauvau-Craon
In the book by Alicia Drake, THE BEAUTIFUL FALL

The Beginnings - Part 63: GOOD THINGS

Life will play some dirty tricks and you just got to stand fast, spit in the eye of the devil, do good work, and come out singing your victory at the end of the day.
-Joanna Scott
MAKE BELIEVE

Twenty-five years ago
September 4, 1987
A few photos after my dad’s funeral that include a solo of my niece, Lauren Armijo;  my first cousin, Shawn West;  and a shot of my mom with Lauren and a shot of me with Lauren.  Somehow…a funeral with children around help to soothe things because they don’t completely understand.

The Beginnings – Part 63:  GOOD THINGS

July 30, 1983

George and I didn’t go to the DAY ON THE GREEN Concert. We did enjoy spending the night together though. We made good use of our time.

I liked the greeting card George gave me. The printed copy read “YOU’RE A HIT”. The one I gave him had the printed copy that read “I’M SHELLFISH”. I think my card pleased him as well. I only debated on our relationship at one time last night.
It was when George said, “I have to have a joint.”
Yuck…Gross…Shit!

I left George’s pad at around 1:30 in the afternoon. The idiotic RB FURNITURE joint did not deliver my other table like they were supposed to do. They were being assholes. I will have to call on Monday to make an arrangement with management.

Now I am off for an invigorating bike ride to Alameda. Who knows…maybe I will enjoy a VCR movie tonight.

As luck would have it I did enjoy two films. I watched NIGHTHAWKS (Sylvester Stallone and Rutger Hauer) and WOLFEN (Albert Finney and Edward James Olmos). Both of them were good.

Oh yes…it was so random and funny when I saw Renee Miller while driving on the freeway with my convertible top down today as I was returning from Sunnyvale. Tomorrow happens to be her birthday.

July 31, 1983

I woke up this morning and had a terrific pancake and bacon breakfast prepared by mom. After the meal digested I went for a bike ride along the South Shore beach in Alameda. I happened to see Fran McElhinney (a high-school pal) and Pauline (a retiree from Pacific Telephone) while riding. I dropped by Suzy Miller’s apartment but she wasn’t home. I became frustrated when I practically ran over some idiotic little boy who got in my way. I swiftly pedaled my way back to Harbor Bay Isle and cruised along the pathways there. A helicopter flew down below the Harbor Bay Isle Club, too. I wondered what might be going on.
I returned home to mom and dad’s and watched a documentary about  EVITA PERON with them. I felt sleepy so I never saw the ending of the movie. I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up I learned that mom had gone to the grocery store. Dad and I got into a minor argument about money matters. He was being an imbecile. I became so nerve-racked and upset that I darted out of the house on my bike. I was almost in tears. He was being an asshole.

As I rode my bike along San Leandro Boulevard there was a PSA car with two football players. One of them gave me a sly, desirable eye. At first I was surprised and then I wondered if he was actually looking at ‘me’. He was looking at ‘me’ and it felt strange (in a good way).

I arrived home to my apartment. I needed someone after my ‘tiff with pop’, so I immediately thought of George. I decided to just start my engine and drive to Sunnyvale to see him. He was working, so I simply hung out at THE WHEREHOUSE RECORDS store until he was done with his shift. We went over to his house and his mom and boyfriend were there; whereby, we split the scene to Los Gatos.

We ate at THE GOOD EARTH restaurant for lasagna and beef stroganoff. It made me feel bloated afterwards. It wasn’t a good feeling. Ugh! We continued our day by dropping by at Danny and Ken’s pad. Ken’s asshole brother, Corby, was there with his dorky looking beau. I also met Dan’s pregnant mother. George and I just sat around as they were preparing dinner. We drank some wine. I didn’t want any part of the joint smoking. George tried to put up a good front until he went upstairs with Kevin for a hit off of a pipe. After George came down and smacked a kiss my way I knew he had been smoking. I was a little pissed.

As time progressed Kevin, George and I went for a walk to Downtown Los Gatos. It was relatively close by their apartment. The night was summertime splendid.
I kept nudging George, “I know you had a hit.”
He smiled, acting like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

When we walked back to the apartment I was shocked that George didn’t choose to leave with me. After all, I drove all this way to see only him (the ONLY YOU song by YAZoo comes to mind).   George is the one who introduced me to YAZoo.  I didn’t plan on ending up at his dope addict pal’s house only to leave him there to spend the night!

As I drove I knew that I needed space from George. I wrote him a card, explaining my hurt feelings. I simply do not want to talk to him for a good while. I’ve decided to keep my phone unplugged. He didn’t even have the decency to call to see if I arrived home safely.

I summarized today as a ‘dead day’. I decided to plug my phone in again when the phone rang. I refused to answer it. I thought it might be my mom, so I called her. We talked and I shared my day.
“Yeah, I drove to Los Gatos after dad got into his sudden fit.”
Mom reassured me, “You know how he gets sometimes.”
“Yeah, he’ll get over it.”

I went to bed after our pleasant phone call. Yawn.

August 1, 1983

The first day of August and I had a good $695 in sales today.
The second line supervisor commended me by saying, “I want to commend your sales efforts today.”
Her words made me feel good.

I telephoned mom and she said, “I’m coming over to visit you today. And I talked with dad and he felt guilty about yesterday. He told me to tell you that he’s a changed man.”
I laughed, “I’m glad. And I’m so happy you’re coming over!”

When I telephoned Nici Maurino I learned that she plans to visit my apartment tomorrow night. I’m looking forward to her visit. It’s nice to have visitors.

I had intended on picking up the phone to call George Jones that night but I figured I’d ‘hold-off’ on him for a while.
I thought, “Let’s see how he reacts with some time off from me.”

I love my bicycle again. Riding home and switching gears from the BART station just turned me on.

It was a real surprise this evening because both mom and dad came over to visit me! They brought me some goodies for dinner. Mom took some of my clothes to wash at her house and she vacuumed my pad. What a doll!

When I finished writing a letter to Maria De Lourdes of Guadalajara, Mexico and the monthly ‘earth calling-please make contact’ card to Ann-Margret I said goodbye to my folks.

I went for a hot tub outing. It felt good. I showered and decided to call Tammy. Of course, she wasn’t home.

My right ear was ringing. My mom says that means someone is saying ‘good things’ about me. If the left ear is ringing someone is saying ‘bad things’. Who is talking ‘good things’ about me?

There is still no word about mom’s cousin, Sophie, moving out of the Alameda Islandia Townhouse. Time will tell.

“I guess being needed is almost as good as being loved. Maybe better.”
-Betty Smith
A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN

The Beginnings - Part 62: I SEE THE LIGHT

There was this thing of being so insecure – that has to do with youth I suppose – one didn’t know what to be, how to make it, what to accept, what to do.-Alicia DrakeA BEAUTIFUL FALL
Twenty-five years ago today:
Here is one of the last photos I took of my dad (with his blue FORD truck in the driveway).

This other pic was taken on September 3, 1987. It’s of my Aunt Lillian and Aunt Betty (my mom’s sisters) and my Grandmother (mom’s mom), helping set up for after the funeral of my father tomorrow (September 4, 1987).  It’s a surreal memory.

The Beginnings – Part 62:  I SEE THE LIGHT

July 25, 1983

Barbara Reynolds returned to work today. I had missed her. Now I miss Pat Overschoun who is now on vacation.

I telephoned George during my first break.
He wasn’t home but I left him a message: “I just want to thank you for the plums you left in my fridge. I love plums.”

Once home I took my SCHWINN to the bike shop. I had my car washed and then came home to a very ugly American Express bill. It was seven-hundred dollars! How did that happen?

I drove to MACY’s to drop my payment off at the Bay Fair Shopping Center. I also mailed in a roll of film for developing. It’s cheaper to send it in via mail order.

When I spoke with George again he had a surprising announcement.
George announced, “I may go to Napa with Kevin to visit his sister.”
I kept it to myself but I’m sure he was going there to get some fresh ‘dope’. It must grow like wildfire there. I know that area is their source. Maybe Kevin’s sister is their supplier. Who knows? As long as he keeps that marijuana out of my presence it’s fine.

I was surprised and happy to receive a phone call from Debbie Honcik. She is coming to my apartment for dinner and a dip in the hot tub this Wednesday night. I love a spontaneous activity like that. It will be fun to see her again.
My chest is slightly sun burnt from lying out by Lake Almanor. I feel it when I scratch there.

Oh yes…Doug Siu called and had me speak to some tall, blue-green eyed blond from El Cerrito who has been making crank survey calls to him. That was kind of dumb.

I feel unfit from a lack of cycling lately. I haven’t been on a ride since last Wednesday. It will be a full-week since I’ve gone on a good ride. I plan on going on an adventurous ride tomorrow after I pick up my bike from the bike shop. I will feel so HAPPY when I see my bike. Funny…that’s exactly how I feel when I see George…HAPPY. I hope he calls me soon. It’s almost 10PM. I have to go to sleep.

July 26, 1983

I picked up my bike at the SCHWINN bike dealer.
He said, “You know…the back wheel was thrashed.”
I wasn’t surprised, considering my attempts at trying to put it back together. It just means that I was using it extensively. At least it is in tip-top shape now.

Helen Wong wanted me to meet her along the San Leandro Marina. When I rode there I didn’t see her anywhere. I rode to her place and she was there. We ate some quiche and had some old-fashioned butter-scotchie cookies for dessert. We had a good talk. It was fun when we were ‘beating it’ (the cookies…that is). All we needed was Michael Jackson’s song to play that BEAT IT song as we made the cookies. I left Helen’s and waited in my apartment for George to call me.

Apparently, George was skating at the San Leandro skating rink since 8PM. I learned this when he finally called me. I went to pick him up so we could lounge and watch TV together. We ended up engaging in ‘floor show’ activities while looking at our reflections on my mirrored cocktail coffee table. It was fun.

By midnight we were at PRINGS, having a midnight breakfast mushroom and cheese omelet in San Leandro. I also munched on a few of George’s dietetic cookies. Helen’s butter-scotchie cookies are much better.

I always have a great time with George. We now have a tentative date on Friday to see the LIGHT SHOW and a movie. We want to see the new Jacqueline Bisset movie called CLASS.

July 27, 1983

George left me a message on my work number. It was a very loving message. Work just happened. I barely recall what happened during the day. I only remember George’s message and my walk to Lake Merritt. At lunchtime I took off my shirt and chose to lie out near the Children’s Fairyland sign. It was relaxing.

After work I received another message from Debbie Honcik. She needed my address verified.
Then I received a call from Tammy. I really don’t know where I stand with Tammy anymore. She informed me of her escape to Los Angeles and San Diego. From what I heard I think she was planning to screw around with the beach bums and surfer dudes. Who knows what she did? Will I ever find out?

As I was waiting for Debbie Honcik to arrive I was speaking to my neighbor, Ted.
Ted said, “You should come by sometime and we’ll go for a beer or check out a video movie.”
I may take him up on that offer whenever I get a free night.

Debbie, my walking partner (and former 411-operator coworker) showed up. She brought chicken, zucchini, mangoes, strawberries and a big smile. How wonderful is that? I smiled. She is so much fun and such a doll. I miss not seeing her. It seems like such a long while since we got together.

The dinner was delicious. The hot tub was soothing. We fell asleep watching a repeat episode of DYNASTY.

My phone rang. It was George. Debbie left soon afterwards.

July 28, 1983

I just went to visit mom today after my work shift. We watched a couple of episodes of THE EDGE OF NIGHT together. Her recovery from the surgery on her gums was remarkable. She was feeling great.

We watched a classic Ingrid Bergman film called JOAN OF ARC on her VCR. I really love that movie. I crashed at mom and dad’s house for the night. The Queen-sized brass bed was so comfortable. It’s much better than my futon mat.

July 29, 1983

I drove to work with my brother, Tony, today.

I ate lunch with Helen. We spoke of going on walks together during our lunch hour again. The plan is to do it at noon each day. She ‘sort of’ invited me to GALLAGHERS in Jack London Square.
I replied, “I’d do it…but I already made plans to go to this LIGHT SHOW with my friend, George.”

The LIGHT SHOW in Sunnyvale was great. I really loved it. Before we went to the LIGHT SHOW we cruised over to Los Gatos to see Ken and Dan. Ken’s obnoxious brother, Corby, was there. I didn’t care for the ‘vibes’ when we arrived there. I just feel out-of-place. Perhaps it’s because I barely know these guys. Ken and Dan seem to be okay as they are warming up to me.

George and I went to SWENSON’S CREAMERY. The DeAnza College LIGHT SHOW was really worth it, too. I think I see the light.

The gates of his heart had swung open and he felt light on his feet, he felt weightless, he felt lithe.
-Junot Diaz
THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO

The Beginnings - Part 61: CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT

“I’m in love with you…I don’t know how it happened. I couldn’t avoid it.”
-PLAN B, a 2009 motion-picture

The Beginnings – Part 61: CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT

July 23, 1983

George and I went to visit his other sister named Renee. We also shared some ice-cream in the Downtown area of Westwood with his sisters (Becky and Renee) and their kids: Rebecca, Robbie, Jared and Shane.

We attended a nice ART SHOW that was going on in town. Then we went to George’s dad’s house and watched part of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie called CONAN THE BARBARIAN and another movie called THE TOY.

I took a good, restful nap after the movies.

George received an unexpected visitor. It was a cute, blond girl named Chris.

After dinner George and I went to visit his sister, Renee. Upon returning to his dad’s house I was shocked to see a small gathering of his dad and a couple of friends, watching porno flicks! I couldn’t believe it when it dawned on me as to what was on the TV screen!

George and I simply left the house to cuddle together in the dark near the coolness of the nearby lake. We listened to some tunes by BREAD like IF and DIARY, too. Later, we found ourselves fooling around in my car at Clear Creek Park.

We finally figured it was time to return to his dad’s house. We started to watch the Mel Gibson movie, THE ROAD WARRIOR. We went to bed. We were lying in bed together when the door opened suddenly. It was George’s dad! I was alarmed at first. His dad looked in on us for a brief second which seemed like an hour. I felt disturbed by his father’s abrupt opening of the door.  His father looked taken aback…but not overly surprised.   It was eerie because he just looked at us lying in bed together—without saying a word—and then closed the door.  I felt very uncomfortable for the remainder of the night. It didn’t seem to really faze George.

George said, “It’s no big deal…it was cold in the other room and there were no blankets in the other bed so it’ll be fine that you slept with me.”
I asked in a whisper, “Do you really think he figures that we are sleeping together platonically?”
He laughed.
Then I said, “You know...we were almost caught-in-the-act!”
We both started laughing quietly, trying not to laugh out loud. Ha-ha…little do they know what fun we had.

July 24, 1983
PHOTO:  George Gregg Jones
Well, our last day in this small town of Westood near the Chester/Redding vicinity was a ‘quickie’. Most of our day was spent lying out by Lake Almanor. We had a good time.

We departed by 5PM and arrived in Sunnyvale at around 10PM. How is that for speedy?

George and I stopped once at a place called COCO’s to summarize the events of the weekend. We honestly realized how much we love each other.
George asked, “Isn’t it great how we can spend as much time together as we do?”

“I don’t want to be with a guy who can’t admit who he is.”
-JUST A QUESTION OF LOVE
2000 French film

The Beginnings - Part 60: SUMMER LOVERS

“Sometimes people survive better apart—even after a long time together.”
-SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY
1971 motion-picture

The Beginnings – Part 60: SUMMER LOVERS

July 19, 1983

I learned today that Barbara Reynolds’ father died. I thought this was very sad. She hasn’t been home each time I’ve tried to call her.

Today I renewed my auto insurance with ALLSTATE Insurance in Oakland. It’s a bit cheaper as it is only $600 every six months. That’s about as good as I can get for now.

I spoke to mom while at work.
She said, “You got a letter and I think it’s a picture from Ann-Margret.”
I was so excited. I found out that Ann-Margret does live on Doheny Drive and not Doherty as I had previously thought. I hope she receives the card that I sent her. I would really like to meet that woman.

Before I arrived home I had a nice talk on the BART train with a woman named Elena Kasberg. It made for a more interesting commute. We always seem to have good talks as I often see her at the same routine time. She is really nice.

I noticed my San Leandro neighbor sweeping his porch area today. We shared in some small talk. His name is Ted and he works for NORTHSTAR COMPUTERS.
“What do you do for Northstar?” I asked.
“Oh, I demonstrate trade shows and that sort of thing.”
“Oh…I used to be a Computer Operator.”
“I thought you might be a photographer.”
I thought that was nice. I guess because he always sees me with my camera.

I spoke to George briefly. He and his friend, Cammie, intend on coming to San Leandro for a visit. They will go to the skating rink on a Tuesday night so they can easily commute with ‘the group’ from the San Jose area.

I advised, “I can easily meet you at SEASONS at around midnight. I just don’t feel like going to that skating scene when I can’t even skate.”

I figured I can stay awake one night to see him if he’s in the area. He’s a special guy after all. I’d go.

I rode my bike to Frank’s house in Hayward. We talked as he polished his mom’s vinyl convertible top. We talked about little things as he hinted about the possibility of our reuniting in terms of a relationship someday. For some reason, I know it won’t happen. The way things are now with George and I it seems impossible. Sometimes I feel Frank is too much of an immature gossip. I am sometimes afraid to talk to Frank as he can easily twist and misinterpret my words.

Suzy Miller telephoned me tonight.
“What are you up to?” Suzy asked.
I almost felt like she knew something was going on with George and me. How could she know though?
“Not much…just working.”
“I wanted to invite you over on Saturday to go to the beach or whatever.”
“That would be nice but I already made plans to go camping. I can see you another day though.”

It is now 10:20PM and midnight is drawing near. This means I’ll have to endure the SEASONS CAFÉ scene. I will get to see George though. We’ll see…

July 20, 1983

It was an upsetting day because I got a flat tire on my bike while riding from the San Leandro BART station to my apartment. It really isn’t as bad as all of that. It could have been worse. I spent most of the evening repairing the flat on my own. It didn’t do any good. I will have to take it in to have it fixed.

July 21, 1983

I picked-up George (in Sunnyvale) after I did my laundry. We were both so horny—and yet, so tired. Is that possible? I have so much fun with that guy. I love him. We went to his Aunt and Uncle’s for directions on getting to the area of Westwood.

After acquiring the directions we went to Scott’s house and watched a cool movie called SUMMER LOVERS. Cammie, Steve, and Scott’s nephew were also there.

SUMMER LOVERS had a sexy plot that ended up turning into a ménage trios between one guy (named Michael) and two girls. It begins with a young college age American couple who go to the Greek Islands for the summer. They’re dazzled by the beauty and the uninhibited people surrounding them on a nude beach. Michael meets and begins an affair with a French woman, an archaeologist who is working on a project. The young American girl (played by actress Darryl Hannah) is quite taken with the woman’s photographic work, and the three become extremely close.
We were so relaxed after watching the SUMMER LOVERS movie. It was like taking a summer trip to Greece. Then George and I had to drive back to my place. I think that’s why we were so tired by the time we arrived at my apartment in San Leandro. Boy, did we want each other.

July 22, 1983

I bought George a FUN-IN-THE-SUN greeting card.

I bought my coworker, Kris McKee a GIVE ME A CALL greeting card. I’ll miss her now that she’s transferring to another department.

George picked me up at the BART station. I allowed him to drive my car. While at my place we completed the finishing touches by packing a few things. We were soon off on our adventure.

We stopped at a place called KATHY AND BILL’S for a bite to eat. It was fun to just talk along the way. We enjoyed just ‘being together’ (as usual). We do have tiny spats once in a while but they’re such harmless tidbit nothings. It’s hard to even recall what we may have argued about. We definitely have ‘more’ good times. We left San Leandro at 6:30PM and arrived in Westwood at approximately half past midnight.

George’s dad wasn’t home, so we went to his sister’s house. George’s sister is named Becky.

Becky allowed us to sleep upstairs. We relieved ourselves of our 4-day period of ‘being without’. It was great. It was only funny because there was no wash towel handy and we had to be very quiet. Ha-ha.

“Jealousy doesn't show how much you love someone, it shows how insecure you are.”
-Valerie Quennessen,
as LINA in the 1982 film SUMMER LOVERS

The Beginnings - Part 59: SUPERMAN

“A kiss…that’s all it takes.”
-THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU
2011 motion-picture

The Beginnings – Part 59:  SUPERMAN

July 15, 1983

I took my pictures to the office and got a lot of compliments about my extraordinary photographer work.

George pleaded with me once again to join him and his ‘Los Gatos’ friends at that STUDIO WEST club in San Francisco. I didn’t go. As it turned out…neither did they.

I did go to the STAR GAZE in Fremont though. Jackie Woods persuaded me. She came over to my place and we went together.
Jackie said, “I love your pad.”
She’s such a crazy and funny wench.

Oh yes…I was happy that I rode my bike to Lake Chabot too.

I met a new girl at STAR GAZE who was from Los Gatos. It’s such a small world. Her name was Gail. She was okay.

I watched a little bit of the TV-show DALLAS and FALCON CREST tonight, too.

July 16, 1983

I took my car for an oil and lube change. It didn’t take very long. I was glad about that because I wanted to lie by the pool and relax for a while. I ate a bowl of WHEATIES and then went to the pool.

Now I am ready to take-off for a weekend with George. We may go to The City and do a little shopping. We plan to play it by ear.

When I arrived at George’s place we were very happy to see one another. We waited for his friend, Kevin, to show up. It seemed to take forever; whereby, we simply went browsing around at the Sunnyvale Shopping Center.

After shopping around we returned to George’s pad. Kevin arrived while we were filling my car with gas (and getting my car washed at SHELL). We all left for The City but MACY’s was closed. We ate at some nice French restaurant on Mason Street and then we took a walk along Castro Street for some ice-cream. I hate the ‘vibes’ in the Castro. It’s too gay for me. We headed back to Sunnyvale and Kevin left for his pad in Los Gatos.

George and I went to bed and had a couple of ‘eventful episodes’. We enjoyed ourselves even when Cammie happened to stop by to pout about her ‘not having a job yet’ blues.

July 17, 1983

George and I had another good time this morning. All I could think of was that Campbell Soup slogan: “Mmm Mmm Good”. We intend on having many more of those intimate times. I thought about what a nice guy George can be. He cooked me breakfast and we ate outside on a nearby patio table to the trailer.

I drove George to work and then I went to Vallco Shopping Center and bought myself a shirt and jacket at I. MAGNIN. I found a pair of pants at JEANS WEST. I returned to George’s pad just in time for his phone call. He came over on his break and we ended up lying on the patio chairs feeling the rays of the sun. I was wearing my new shirt and George’s gray shorts. We started to kiss in the trailer for a while. Then it was time for him to go back to work.
I said, “I hate split shifts.”

I ate a small bite at CARL’S JR. and browsed at the WHEREHOUSE RECORD STORE, giving George ‘the eye’ most of the time.

We decided on the Sunnyvale Drive-In Movie Theater tonight. We went to see SUPERMAN III.
I said excitedly, “Sometimes I feel like SUPERMAN.”
George smiled and said, “You look like him a little, too.”
We watched only part of the co-feature: HIGH ROAD TO CHINA.
We said our goodbyes after the film as much as we hated to do so. We were both craving another ‘69’ event but our craving didn’t come about…as of yet.

July 18, 1983

I received a letter from Maria De Lourdes of Guadalajara, Mexico today. I will have to find someone to interpret it because she wrote mostly in Spanish.

I went to work and had an ‘okay’ sort of day. Barb Reynolds wasn’t there. I wonder what is up with her lately.

I telephoned George Jones earlier and simply said, “I just wanted to wish you a good day.”
“Oh Thanks,” he replied, “I hope you have the same.”

I went for a walk around Lake Merritt all by my lonesome during my lunch hour today. I enjoy this solitary time sometimes. I had my SONY Headphones on, so the music was nice, too. I ate a burrito and just sat on a bench.

I came home and was making a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich when Frank Vasconcellos called me.
Frank urged me, “Come on…just come over to show me those pictures. I want the negatives, too.”
“Oh all right.”
He really liked the photos from our L.A. trip. He looked pretty nice, too. He’s no comparison to George though. I think George’s intellect is a notch above; however, George is still in evaluation mode. Time will tell.

After watched some MTV with Frank I chose to leave. He was on the phone part of the time with some nerd named Randy.

I went to get my haircut. The gal, Paige, who had cut my hair last time, had gone for the day so I had Yvonne cut it this time. She’s very nice. She’s the one who thinks I have a sister named Virginia. I guess she knows someone named Virginia Armijo (coincidental since that’s my mom’s name). Yvonne seemed to be feeling rather ‘blue’ but I cheered her up.

Once I returned home I showered and shampooed and wrote in my journal. Now it’s time to call my favorite fellow: George Gregg Jones. His line is currently busy. It’s been busy since I arrived from work. Who could he be talking with? Jerk!

“Everybody wants something from me and I don’t have the energy to do it all.”
-GLEE TV-series, Season I
Episode 6

The Beginnings - Part 58: CINDERELLA

“Tell me what you eat and I shall tell you what you are.”
-Jean Anthelme Brillat Savarin
A French lawyer and politician who gained fame as an epicure

The Beginnings – Part 58:  CINDERELLA

July 13, 1983

I couldn’t believe it. I paid $4.10 to FOX PHOTO for the processing of only four photographs. Three of them were of George so I guess it was worth it.

Tammy telephoned me while I was at work.
“I just wanted to tell you that I won’t be home until around seven o’clock tonight.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you …or you can try to call me,” she said.
I thought, “Shit…but that time dinner time would be defunct. How is she going to have time to do all of the cooking?”
It’s just as well. I feel like a BBQ Chicken sandwich and frozen yogurt. I imagine that’s what we’ll end up doing for tonight. It will be easy to do at the Bay Fair Shopping Center.

I telephoned George.
“I have good news,” I said.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“I got word from my mom that her cousin, Sophie, is probably moving out of the townhouse very soon.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I can’t wait. We may be roommates sooner than we think.”
“Okay, I’ll call you later tonight after work.”

Now it’s time to pick up Tammy for the so-called home cooked meal. She actually had a plan. She cooked some homemade meatballs recipe in a tasty mushroom sauce. We had a very nice evening. We listened to ALDO NOVA, THE LITTLE RIVER BAND and my CAT PEOPLE Soundtrack.

Both Frank and George called as we were eating dinner and just plain ‘goofing around’. I drove Tammy home by midnight. I joked with her.
“It’s as if you’re Cinderella and I have to get you home by the stroke of midnight.”

July 14, 1983

Work dragged on. I ‘faced’ Helen by not jogging with her since she ‘faced’ me by not joining me for lunch today.

I dropped by my mom’s to pick up some other pictures. After that I drove directly to see George in Sunnyvale.
We went to THE WINCHESTER THEATER and tried to watch the movie FLASHDANCE. Neither one of us liked it very much, so we left before the ending and went to his place. I had trouble finding the radio station to play clearly. It must be a bad connection area for radio airwaves. We played a numbers game once we arrived at his place…namely ‘69’.

A bit later George said, “I don’t like those pictures of me.”
I said, “Well, I do.”
I left his place at 12:40AM.
Before I left George asked, “Could you please think about going with me to STUDIO WEST in The City tomorrow night?”
“Okay…I’ll think about it.”

Oh yes…I was also pleased with the good dinner that George prepared. It included breakfast RICE CHEX and ham and eggs. I joked about it. The homemade meatballs from the night before were better.

Loving touching alone—in whatever style—can improve health.
-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

The Beginnings - Part 57: HE WAS SILENT

“What I’d always thought of as my dream may not have been one at all.”
-DEPARTURES
2008 Japanese film

Twenty-five years ago today

August 29, 1987

It all happened so suddenly. My mother called me at the townhouse.
“Come over quickly. It’s your dad.”She scared me. The tone in her voice was one of fright. I rushed over and I saw my dad lying on the living room couch. He looked so pale. “What happened?” I asked.Mom explained, “I heard him fall in the bathroom.”
It looked like he had a slight cut on his head.
Dad kept arguing calmly, “I’m okay…I just have heartburn.”
We knew it was more than that. Tony came over and we were all in agreement to call for the ambulance. He needed to be checked out.
The ironic thing is that it all happened so quickly. The ambulance arrived and he was taken to the local ALAMEDA HOSPITAL emergency room. Mom and my brothers were in the waiting room. Finally, a doctor came out and took us all into a small office.
The doctor said, “We did everything we could.”
My mother screamed.

My brothers and I saw him one last time. My mother was crying. I touched my father's lower leg. I almost felt he could feel our presence. We were told he was given morphine to relieve his pain as he’d had a heart attack. He had a mild heart attack about seven years earlier. My dad was gone. We were heartbroken.

The obituary in the ALAMEDA TIMES STAR:
ARMIJO, JOE N. - In Alameda, August 29, Beloved husband of Virginia Armijo of Alameda, Father of Anthony, Michael and John Armijo. Grandfather of Ashley and Lauren Armijo. A native of New Mexico, aged 52 years. A 28-year employee of Del Monte Corporation, Plant #237, Oakland. Services were held on September 2 at GREER ALAMEDA Funeral Chapel. Interment Holy Sepulchre Cemetery, Haward, CA.
The Beginnings – Part 57: HE WAS SILENT
July 11, 1983
It’s another BLUE MONDAY. I washed my car and did manage to take it in for a free service and safety check. All they wanted to do was change my oil and the filter. I think I’ll hold off on that until Saturday because I can get a $13.95 deal at that time. I’d best watch my budget these days.

I dread getting my American Express and SHELL OIL credit card bills.

When I telephoned George Jones this morning he said, “My mom is going away this weekend!”
I knew this meant that it would be free for me to come and spend time with him there. I don’t know if I will go…or not. I want to get a lube and oil job on my car…but a lube and oil job ‘ON ME’ by him might feel better. Ha-ha.

I took a nap in Alameda at mom and dad’s house after my work day. When I drove to my pad in San Leandro I talked to Frank Vasconcellos. We didn’t talk about anything much.
I wrote some ‘anytime’ cards for Frank, George, Paige, Barbara and one extra to my ‘one and only’ infatuation: the beautiful and desirable Ann-Margret. My goal is to write her a card every month until she finally takes notice of me. I want to eventually meet her. My goal is to lunch or dine with Ann-Margret one day. Yummy. I really want to do that.
I phoned George at his mom’s house but he had visitors.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s just Ken and Cammie.”“So…you can’t really talk.”
“Not really.”
“Okay…we’ll talk later.”
“Okay…I’m going to spend the night with Ken, Don and Kevin in Los Gatos.”
“Well…I just want you to know that I’m not too thrilled about that idea.”
He was silent.

When I called George later at Ken and Don’s apartment in Los Gatos we had a better conversation. We both spoke of how we miss each other. George was also excited about some new job prospects in my area of Northern California.I said reassuringly, “Well, I’m crossing my fingers but I am looking forward to our being roommates.”

July 12, 1983

I wore my Los Angeles T-Shirt and leaf green shorts to work today. It was summer dress down day. I got a few whistles and one girl said, “Don’t wear that ever again because it’s too much of a distraction for all of the girls in the office.”
I laughed.
Helen invited me for a run along the Marina in San Leandro.
I lied and said, “I wish I could…but I promised my cousin we’d go bike riding.”
I knew George was calling me at seven-thirty and I wanted to leave my options open.

When I arrived home I was so hungry. I placed the remainder of my refrigerated French bread in the oven. I was craving fresh, warm bread. I dozed off and woke up feeling like I needed a bike ride. I dressed in my cycle gear and left. As I was riding I recalled that I had forgotten about the French bread in the oven! By the time I remembered about it I was already in Hayward! I made a rapid ride back home. There were some dudes who whistled at me when I drove by the skating rink. Yuck! Unfortunately, I was too late as far as the bread was concerned.  It was burnt to a crisp. I showered and called Suzy Miller. She wasn’t home, so I called her brother, Michael. We talked for a while. He’s working at UPS (United Parcel Service).
Mike said, “If George doesn’t move-in with you…let me know.”
I also spoke to Renee Miller.
I asked, “Why don’t you come over to see my apartment in San Leandro?”
Renee answered, “I’ll come and visit you in a couple of weeks because I’m going on vacation next week to Washington with Dave and Helen.”
I said, “Oh…I might go camping to an area called Westwood with my friend, George.”
I can’t wait for the camping trip. Only one sleeping bag…Hmm…Ha-ha.

George telephoned and said, “I’ll call you when I get to San Leandro with Toni and company.”
He was going for the ‘Gay Tuesday’ Skating night.
After his call I telephoned Tammy and asked, “Are you going to the skating rink?”
“Yes, I’ll be there.”
Why should I be surprised? I definitely do not want to enter that joint again. I simply confirmed my dinner date with Tammy for tomorrow night. She will be cooking dinner. It will be yummy fun.

George finally called me from the skating rink at a bit after 10PM. I had already given up on him and went to bed.
“I just got here,” George exclaimed.
And so…I decided to dress and cruise over to pick him up. I drove back to my pad and we shared each other’s company. We made love.

Later, we went to the SEASONS RESTAURANT. I saw all of those gross skating type people. Michael was there.
I asked him, “Where’s Tammy?”
“Oh…she went home.”
“Ah…that’s too bad.”
“Watch out for her because she’s in her ‘Tamara’ mood.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Oh…she’s been hanging out with Angelina too much.”

George and I talked tonight.
I explained, “You know…if I should meet a girl that I’m H.O.H. over…I won’t hesitate to date her.”
George answered, “I can deal with that when…and if it comes about.”
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
Right now, it’s only George. Paige may be on the next ‘page’. Who knows who will be next in my life of yummy love? Tammy can’t really count with her questionable moods. I really will have to wait and see. I need to know Tammy or Tamara. I want to know the ‘real’ Tammy. I don’t want to hear her with her fake French accent. I want to see her without the make-up and without a cigarette. I’d love to see Tammy as a natural, American, wholesome gal. Yes, that’s what I’d like to see in her.

I went to bed at two o’clock in the morning. George came over again to pick up his card that I had written for him. His friend, Toni, came in and we chatted for a moment. Then George and I kissed our usual goodbye.

Yes, I love you. But you can’t love me because I’m not worth loving!
No, But I do love you. Stupidly!
Then you’re an idiot.
We’re both idiots.
-Christopher Bram
SURPRISING MYSELF, a novel