Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 44

Run To Mommy

See the view.  I’m talking about the HOLLYWOOD sign right there.  Never get tired of it.  Like the Word of God just dropped down, plunked on the hills, and the word was HOLLYWOOD.   Didn’t God say let there be light first.   What’s a movie but light?  Can’t have a movie without light…and then words.  Seeing that sign reminds me to write every morning.--Viet Thanh Nguyen, THE SYPATHIZER, a novel
It was bound to happen.   My defenses were down and my depressed state had me in a lull of spiraling downward.   I got sick.  I didn’t feel well.   Telephone calls with mom were at a continuous high.   After all, when you don’t feel well you run to mommy for the right remedy to feel good again.
Thoughtful of my sis-in-law to mail me a GET WELL SOON card…it’s nice to be loved:
July 21, 1991Mike-A very special get well wish,As loving as can beTo bring you lots of cheery thoughtsTo keep you company.“See you when you get here.  Take care of yourself.”  Love, SherriIt was also signed LOVE –John, Sherri, Ashley, Holly and Ally
The talk of tinsel town seemed to continue to revolve around Arnold Schwarzenegger and his sequel to THE TERMINATOR (#2-JUDGEMENT DAY).   I felt I was being judged and seriously hoped I wouldn’t be terminated.  Cough-cough…
Donald Trump proposed to Marla Maples earlier this month and presented her with a 7.5 carat diamond ring.  I wonder how much that cost him.
Boris Yeltsin became the new Russian President six days ago.
And on July 20th the big, sad news was out that Mike Tyson has been accused of raping a Miss Black America contestant named Desiree Washington.  Ouch!
And on July 22nd Jeffrey Dahmer, a sick serial killer, confessed to killing seventeen men in 1978.  What a month!  It makes me want to curl under my covers and hide.   
The song I want to hear is WHERE IS THE LOVE by Roberta Flack.   That would soothe my mood.  Sleep was my best nurse but Alan's calls helped.  I know he cares that I get well soon as we have a Hawaiian escape planned at the end of this month.
“The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them, there ought to be as many for LOVE.”--Margaret Atwood

Greek God: More than Words

“Sometimes in LIFE you feel that there is something which you must do, and in which you must trust your own judgment and not that of any other person.   Some call it conscience and some plain obstinacy.  Well, you can take your choice.”--John Masterman, a noted academic sportsman, author
I was lonely living in Los Angeles.  My only real friend was Alan (and yes, more than just a friend).  And while I loved being with him I hated the people I worked with at the Pacific Bell Directory Yellow Pages, Account Collection Office.   No one was very friendly to me there.  I didn’t really connect to any coworkers.  I would call Alan during my break and even during my work day just to break the monotony.   Alan would even drive to mid-Wilshire to meet me for my one-hour lunch sometimes.   This made me happy.  
Then I had other moments where I felt lonely and really missed people in Northern California.  I relished on correspondence from Birda, Dorothy and that is why I wrote to them so often.  The writing of letters kept me “in-check” as a sort of dealing with my loneliness.   It was one of my therapies:  writing letters.  It was more than words…it was for love of “real people”.    I also enjoyed my music, my painting, my reading and my secretive workout VHS-tape (THE CHIPPENDALE DANCERS workout).  Ha-ha.

Birda, my wonderful bike riding partner from Alameda send a cute postcard note from BURNEY FALLS.   This area is apparently one of Northern California’s major scenic attractions.   Who knew?  I’ve never been there!   Birda wrote “more than words”:
7-12-91Michael,I am in Anderson, CA on a layover for work.  Burney Falls is about 30 miles from here.  I’ve never been there but it sure is pretty.
I received your postcard, then your other card and I was so happy to hear from you.  I think I will be in L.A. next week (working out of the City of Industry).  IF it happens I’ll give y a call.  Maybe we can go have a drink or something.   Till then…I’m looking forward to a meeting in August.  Always, Love, Birda
MORE THAN WORDS is a nice song that is taking advantage of the airwaves right now.  It’s rather soothing.  More Than Words by Extreme
Saying I love you Is not the words I want to hear from you It's not that I want you Not to say, but if you only knew How easy it would be to show me how you feel More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 'Cause I'd already know What would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you feel That your love for me is real What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new Just by saying I love you More than words La di da, da di da, di dai dai daNow I've tried to talk to you and make you understand All you have to do is close your eyes And just reach out your hands and touch me Hold me close don't ever let me go More than words is all I ever needed you to show Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 'Cause I'd already know What would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you feel That your love for me is real What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new Just by saying I love you La di da, da di da, di dai dai daMore than wordsLa di da, da di da, di dai dai daMore than wordsLa di da, da di daLa di da, da di da, more than wordsLa di da, da di da, di dai dai daLa di da, da di da, more than words (oh uh uh uh)More than words
Dorothy sent me three postcards:  1) a postcard from a 1989 photograph by DUANE MICHALS that is titled:  NECESSARY THIINGS FOR MAKING MAGIC.   Ha-ha…I could use some magic right now; 2) a postcard I really love from a 1988 photo by CHRIS CALLIS titles ROOFTOP DANCERS I; 3) the third postcard was from another CHRIS CALLIS photographer from 1988 titled MAN FIGHTS TIME (I wonder if that was an image for me to really ponder as I feel like I am fighting time.  Time moves quickly I’ve noticed.)
Dorothy wrote “more than words”: Hi Michael,What a wonderful place GUALALA must be, judging from the beautiful WHALES WATCH INN Bed and Breakfast card you sent!  You see places like that and you know there must be a GOD.   How else could an area like that have been created?   And how wonderful of you to always find a moment to share with me!  How very SPECIAL you are…
Oh, let us not forget the GREEK GOD you sent the following week!   Pretty bold photography for the 1950s (the conservative 50s)!   So, you believe it to be a mirror of your physique.   As I said in the message I left you, Friday, if I’d known what you’ve been keeping “undercover” I might have made those plane reservations to L.A. a long time ago!  Ha!
It looks like the guy got rid of all the hair on his arms and legs…hope you left the hair on your chest!  How do I know about that?  
Are you looking at any particular type of job during your current search?   As you know, I really hope you find something you’ll enjoy—something that will allow you to use your special talents.  Let me know how things go before your name is up in lights!
My job is boing me to tears and there doesn’t seem to be much more “out there”.  I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to make it a little more interesting and less tedious, but haven’t come up with much to develop.  No wonder….considering the type of job it is!  
Sometimes it’s so HARD when you’re trying to make things better with every aspect of your life—can be very draining.   Oh well, must believe that all I’m striving for IS possible!
I took this past Thursday off to spend it with my brother, Dick.   We had a really good time and went into THE CITY and walked around the old haunts of days gone by when he used to come down from Seattle (when he was in college) and spend his holidays with me and my roommates.  His crazy girlfriend, Paulette, used to take the bus over from Alameda to be with him, too.   Dick and I spent hours over lunch and beer and kept talking, catching-up on our lives.  He had some interesting comments regarding his brief observation of my current life, compared with the life (lives) I used to lead.
The one thing that impressed me most about Dick’s visit was how much he enjoys his job.  And man…he loves what he does in his world.   I could hear it throughout our conversation.  He’s DEAN of the Community College on GUAM and truly enjoys finding new ways to make higher education a reality for those who never believed they’d have the opportunities available—especially the people from the “outer islands” without the American influence and all it offers.
7-16-91I didn’t finish writing on this third postcard yesterday…no surprise.
I guess I didn’t get enough of THE CITY last Thursday.  I took Nicole and Jean-Paul in with me on Sunday.  They both wanted to go which is unusual.   We did enjoy ourselves.  I had a great conversation going with them during lunch and they both had me laughing.  At one point I was listening to them but couldn’t help thinking “seems like yesterday they were both just babies” and here we are conversing as adults!   It was a wonderful feeling.  It’s great to NOT ONLY LOVE them but to LIKE them as well.

So…enough about MOTHER’S LOVE…or what?   Don’t mean to bore you, really, just sharing what’s on my mind.   Some of what’s on my mind…
Are you having good weather for outdoor activities?  Do you still spend time riding the bike or running on the beach?  I think of the ocean.  I think o you.  How wonderful it all must be…at least at times.
I know all of the reasons I haven’t been down to visit yet and I sometimes wonder if one of those reasons is I want to have it to look forward to…which is because no one is limiting me to go on this one trip.   If this is one of the reasons it’s one I can easily eliminate.  It’s the others that need to be worked on.
You’re really going to think I’m strange but the next time I see you I hope it is in L.A.Until later -- good luck with your job search and everything else going on in your life! Love, Dorothy
And so, time goes on.  It’s hard to sleep on certain nights as there is so much on my mind.  I worry that I may have to move back to Northern California—even though I know Alan wishes for me to stay.  
Perhaps JAMES BOND could slumber peacefully on the bed of nails that was a spy’s life, but I could not.--THE SYMPATHIZER, a novel by Viet Thanh Nguyen

Aliens On Another Planet

We slept to the roaring, surging sound of waves below, but next morning, under a sky colored like a pigeon’s neck, the sea was calm and reflected the sunrise.--Emily Hahn, NO HURRY TO GET HOME

On July 2nd (1991) I took a random shot of Alan browsing the newspaper while at his apartment in Sea Colony, Santa Monica.  I feel like I am spending more time there (and I like the sea breeze).  Alan's divorce is agonizing to him right now as the attorney fees seem to continue to add up.
Lauren Freiman (Alan’s daughter) sent me a cute postcard of a piggy (how did she know I was born YEAR OF THE BOAR?).    She was away at summer camp in Malibu and responded to a card that I sent her.   She wrote:
Dear Michael,How are you?  Yes, I am still having fun.   I like a boy named ARI and he likes me.  I miss you.Love, Lauren
Dorothy found a Grand Teton National Park photo postcard from 1959 (the year of my birth).  It’s in Wyoming.   She wrote:
Hi Michael!You MUST see CITY SLICKERS!  I had no real expectations while I walked into the theater but walked out feeling that I had finally been thoroughly entertained.  It gave me what I was looking for in THELMA ANDLOUISE but didn’t quite get.
My only problem is now I REALLY want to do something truly out of the ordinary and am left frustrated—compounded by life in a cubicle that promotes atrophy of the brain!  Anyway, do see the movie…and take Alan.Love, Dorothy
And so…Alan and I went to see CITY SLICKERS.   We laughed.  It’s good for the tummy (to laugh).  Great movie.   Alan and I also escaped for the 4thof July weekend to Northern California.   
We stayed the night at my mom’s house one night and took her to see TERMINATOR 2.  It was action-filled fun.   One of our highlights was staying at the WHALE WATCH INN in Gualala, CA.   There was a little saloon there.  There were swinging doors and we walked in and it was like a scene from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure when he walked into the BIKER BAR…everyone looked up to see us and wondered, “Where in the hell did they come from?”   We felt like aliens on another planet. We also had a fine dining experience at a place called the OLD MILANO INN where they had turkeys and chickens roaming freely in their backyard.   Wild.I sent a postcard to mom of THE WHALE WATCH INN on July 4th:
Hi Mom,This area of Gualala, California is so close to the coastline.  That explains why it is so much more on the cooler side.  There is definitely no hot weather here.   There is a lot of fog at night, too.  See you soon…call you soon.Love, Mikeeee
I wrote to Paloma at 2PM on July 8th:
Dear Paloma,Thanks for sending the PORSCHE 959 (photo card).  I’m sure that’s the closes I will ever get to the real thing…but then again you never know.  
I picked up this card of the muscle man at an ART GALLERY.   Some photographer was exhibiting Vintage photographs from the 1950’s.  His physique reminded me of me (ha-ha) and I know how you like to get photos of me every once in a while…so, do you like it?
I just returned yesterday from a visit to Northern California.  I went with Alan who was checking out property (business).   I went along because his partner couldn’t go and it was a “freebie” plane ride.   We went to Santa Rosa, Gualala, Little River (near Mendocino) and we stayed at my mom’s house in Alameda on Saturday night.   
Alan and I took mom out to see TERMINATOR 2 after dinner.  It was pretty good.   
That’s too bad you didn’t get to see your brother while he was visiting.  I’ve never been to New Orleans.  I’d like to check it out.   When you firm up your dates—let me know so I can maybe meet you for dinner or something.   
Alan and I were talking about the great restaurant you took us to!  We decided it was one of the best dinners in Europe.  
My nieces keep growing!   Till next time…Love, Michael
“Was that your smile or the reflection of mine?” he asked.“She shrugged her shoulders to mean “whatever”.“I hope it was the reflection of mine,” he said, “I wouldn’t like you to smile at me like that before you got to know me.   When you get to know me I’ll know what it means.  Right now I might have the wrong idea.”
-Colin Channer, WAITING IN VAIN, a novel

Nothing To Complain About

“Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect.   It leads to knowledge.   Realization is the three-dimensional, a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart and instinct.  It comes only from direct experience.”--Dan Millman, WAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR,A Book That Changes Lives
I wrote to Paloma in response to her last letter.  I also received cool cards from Dorothy and Birda this week, too.
June 20, 1991Hi Paloma, Summer has begun.   There are a lot of foreign visitors here in L.A.   It’s especially busy when I go to the beach or restaurants.  I hear French and other unknown languages.With regard to that last letter you wrote not too long ago and you being in love when I first visited PARIS was nice to hear.  I felt the same but the timing for decisions was hard.  Perhaps we should have kept telling each other our feelings at the time.  But…oh well…that is LIFE and who knows what’s projected for our futures now (?)  I see continued happiness.  I’m sure.LA FETE DES PARES sounds like a good film.  I hope it shows up here sooner or later.   I am at Santa Monica Beach right now.  You should be here and we could lie out (like our Santa Cruz days).   We were “killer” together on the beach…remember?   You more than me…in those days.  Ha-ha.Love Ya, Michael
I also created a new card for mom of a photo of a Martini that is garnished with a lemon peel.  I wrote:
June 26, 1991Hi Mom,   Summer is here.  I received a letter from Chad Mark Glen.  Do you remember him?   Well, he got a position beginning in September teaching at CHABOT COLLEGE.  He said he would be making about $30 an hour but if he teaches five one-hour classes in one week that it is only $600 per week (not to mention taxes withheld).  I guess it’s better than ZERO an hour.
That’s a heartbreaking story about Dena Johnson.  It’s too much.  I can’t believe she is gone after that tragic boat accident in the Delta.   She was only twenty-one or so, right?  I still think about it and it reminds me time and time again of how we never know when our time will come.   My financial problems seem like “no big deal” after you hear something like that.  Nothing is worse than the death of a family member or friend.  I have nothing to complain about.
Here is a self-made celebration cocktail for your Anniversary (June 15th) because we forgot to toast to that while we were having our Margaritas with our black beans.It’s 3PM and I am going to mail this card to you now.  Tonight, Alan and his, mother, Gloria, and his stepdad, Jack, and I are all going out to dinner.   She just returned from Las Vegas.  I think Jack and Gloria are flying somewhere else this Friday.   She’s such a neat lady (talks a lot).  Jack is more quiet and reserved, but they are a lot of fun.  See you soon.Love You,Michael J Armijo
And I was happy to get an update from Birda, too.   The card depicted a young girl who seemed to be in a bewildered state.  It was an image of Birda who is grown-up now--but is still in touch with the little girl inside.  I know why she chose this card.   She identified with the fact that LIFE isn't always so simple:
June 28, 1991MICHAEL,
I’ve been so busy.  It’s time to sit alone and talk to one of my friends.   I received your card and it seems so long ago.   That’s something like: “I MISS YOU”.   The bike rides…the flowers I used to be able to leave in your mailbox and the Hershey’s I haven’t had since Christmas…Hmmm…I wish I could say the same about OREO’s and milk.  Oh well.Okay…New York, Hawaii, California…I’m hoping for California…but a visit to New York or Hawaii can be planned also.I guess I’m going through a change in my life.  I’m so very unsettled here right now and I often think of going away again—but I can’t.   It seems that no matter where I go or what I do lately the big T (TROUBLE) follows me.   It’s these times I find going away helps…BUT… there’s that BUT word again.   My “BOSS” says no one can take vacation yet!   I really disliked that man!   I’ve decided that it is time to take on my motherly duty and come up with the money to send my son to Catholic School.  It’s four years and $12,000.   All I know is he wants to go and I can’t say, “NO!”.  My mom says I’m crazy but I don’t think so.  I don’t know if y our mom’s anything like mine but mine still tells me what to do.  I never listened before.   Should I now?  NA…Well enough about me.  Just was thinking about you and had to write.   Take care.  Write, I know you’re ready to take another trip soon.   Send postcards!  Love Always,MEP.S.  I stopped having Birthdays when I hit 30 on August 6, 1985.   That makes me younger than you now.  This year son the 6th or close to it we are having breakfast at OLE’S WAFFLE SHOP.   Then we’ll have your Birthday dinner at HORATIO’s.  My treat.   Now that’s a plan.  Let me know the date. Later, BirdaP.S.  A 6.0 earthquake!   I just heard on the radio.  I hope all is well.  Let me know.   B.B.
I recently shared the news of the the twin girls that live next-door to my mother with Dorothy Rua.   Dina Johnson and her twin sister, Denise when to Lake Berryessa to water ski.   The twin sister, Dina, drowned in an accident.  How awful as she was only a teenage girl.   That must have been devastating to the parents and the sister who is no longer has her twin.   No one has NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT until a loss of life strikes us unexpectedly.  Dorothy wrote back.  Her card was clearly a depiction of her as well:  an elegant woman, protected with an umbrella from the hot sun, who just wants to be left alone sometimes.  
 6-30-91Dear Michael, Both of your most recent creations are great.  I was very much in the mood for them when they arrived on Friday.   FEET FIRST (on the sandy beach with the orchid on the red hat) is definitely where I want to be.   I wouldn’t mind having you hand me sun tan lotion and magazines as long as you come out from behind the bushes to join me!   There’s plenty of room under that hat for both of us.  Ha!  And I can definitely relate to the Black and White with the yellow booties.  I’ll tell you she doesn’t even notice she still has the booties on and is pretty successful about not thinking of the office when she’s not there…so, her (my) thoughts are definitely on the warm oil down the center of the spine.  But then, you know what my pick would be, didn’t you?  Ha!I can relate to your MJA HOTEL comments.  I went through similar times when I first moved to Hawaii.   Then again…the summer I moved back to California some of your descriptions of your “guests” made me laugh!  What a wonderful feeling and unexpected laughter this brings…   Things must be back to normal this week if you remember what “normal” is like!I was very sad about the tragedy your mom’s neighbor just experienced.    I can’t imagine any loss greater than the loss of a child.  So much pain for Dina’s parents and sister (especially being a twin) and the rest of the family and friends.   It just doesn’t seem fair for someone so young and so much ahead.  You’re right, the rest of us have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.  I was reminded of this just over this past week…and also as you know my brother arrived last Saturday.  He stayed until Tuesday, then flew down to Long Beach where he had medical appointments scheduled.   What I didn’t know until he got here was that he was going to be treated for cancer of the liver!   My brother is only 39 years old.  I felt like sobbing when he told me but I realized he was counting on my strength so I kept myself together until I was alone.  I had four sleepless nights this past week.  I know he did too.   We spoke regularly when he was in Long Beach.   We were both thanking GOD when the test result came out normal.  I only hope they were accurate and that the doctors were thorough!    Apparently, Dick, my brother, is experiencing other liver problems stemming from a case of Hepatitis he had ten years ago.  I just hope/pray note of it develops into anything as serious as we thought it might be.   Anyway, he’s in Houston, Texas now visiting with good friends before he heads to Chicago on business.   Then he’ll be back here for a day and a half.  I’ll take off work to spend time in THE CITY with him on July 11th.After such a tough week of stress it was a bit refreshing when Larry, the Director at work treated our department to a great lunch on Wednesday.   Thursday he also tried to raise morale by pulling us out of our cubicles for some fun and games in one of the empty offices.   What he didn’t realize it that it reminded me a little of old “Patricia” games at the SRC-SMART RESOURCE CENTER.   Friday made up for a lot.   At noon Larry comes to my desk with one of my co-workers, Ernie, and says, “Come on, Dorothy.  You’re coming with us.”Larry headed to Piedmont, CA where we picked up Mike Mino (the Collection Manager that left PacTel) and we all spent 3-hours eating and drinking at CROGAN’s in little old downtown Piedmont.   He managed to do what he set out to do…cheer me up!The weather here is finally sunny and great.  It should be like this for your Mendocino trip.  Have a super time.Until Later…Love, Dorothy
Like Dorothy, Birda, Paloma and mom...I refuse to give up.  I’ll always try to be a contender.
He looks better than nearly all of his age-mates at his gym.   What’s wrong with them is their fatalistic acceptance of middle-age, their ignoble resignation to grand fatherhood, impending retirement and golf.  He is different from them because, in some sense which can’t quite be defined but which is immediately apparent when you see him naked, he hasn’t given up.  He is still a contender, and they are not.--Christopher Isherwood, A SINGLE MAN

Thinking Smartly

“Yes, I gave a condition of my own.”You can’t just cave in on everything if you’re negotiating.--Charles Baxter, THERE’S SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO DO, CHASTITY Chapter
Ok, guess what, a new (impersonal) typewritten letter from Chad.   I like it one uses their own handwriting because it makes me think a secretary or an assistant typed it out.  Ha-ha…even though that isn’t the case here.  Here is what Chad wrote:
20 June 1991Dear Michael:Thanks for the postcard from The METRO Museum of ART in NYC.  You’re so cultured, Darling.   Speaking of cultured…you mentioned rummaging through pictures.  You mentioned it, so I thought I’d mention it, just to remind you that you’d mentioned it.  I never seem to have enough pictures of you to rummage through.
Are you still unemployed?  I am.  I have been offered a teaching position at CHABOT COLLEGE, starting in September.  I’d be teaching Mass Communications.  I have to be finger-printed and the FBI has to do a thorough investigation of my background before I can sign a contract and begin teaching.  Me, a college professor…seems kind of strange.   The pay is thirty something an hour.  I don’t know if that’s low or high for the position but it beats nothing an hour.  And I’m lucky CHABOT COLLEGE is hiring me with only Graduate school teaching experience at San Francisco State University.   Who know what will happen?   You let me know how your situation is and I’ll keep you posted as well.
How has your visit with your family been?   You’re fortunate to have family that comes to visit.  I’ll be Ashley has grown a ton since I’ve seen her.   How’s your mom doing with you so far away?  We know you’re her favorite so…it must be rough.  You mentioned Mike Miller possibly coming to visit you.   What the heck is he up to these days?  How about Suzy?
Hey, remember how much I used to love AMY GRANT?  No?   Well, have you heard her BABY BABY song?  Have you seen the video?  She’s got a brand new single out called EVERY HEARTBEAT.  If you don’t have her HEART IN MOTION CD I highly recommend it.  Just thought I’d share something that I enjoy with you.  If you get a chance, pick it up and let me know what you think.  I think she’s going to be in concert in Southern California sometime in August.  Maybe I could come and visit and we could take in the show?  (Nothing like inviting yourself…sorry, never mind).  Well, I don’t have much else to say other than give my best to ALAN.   As best you can give my best—that is.  And if my best ain’t good enough for him, never mind (as Gilder Radner used to say on SNL-Saturday Night Live).Take Care,Chad
I didn’t expect the “inviting yourself” remark in Chad’s letter.  I felt a bit of anguish about it.  It’s like the ball is in my court.  I can never say no—and so I chose to simply say nothing.   Better a silent, convenient forgetting.
And funny how I got a cute tennis ball postcard from Dorothy the next day:
6-21-91Hi Michael!Glad I caught you at home yesterday.  I was in need of a “MICHAEL Fix”.   I enjoyed our talk though I feel I may have done too much of the talking!   I’ll have to remember next time.  I’m sitting here at the top of my hill wishing I’d asked you more about what you’re doing.  I know you said you’re oven is not on right now but are you out and about enjoying the summer weather, and beaches, too?You have no idea how much I want to hop on a plane and have you show me some of those beaches, art galleries and restaurants you are enjoying!   Things I’ve been trying to resolve for quite some time still remain unresolved to the point that I feel my life is in limbo.   Limbo because I’ve given up for a while…I need to gather the mental and emotional energy needed to continue the effort.   Too much invested to give up trying—maybe it’s that TAURUS in me….stubborn and loyal!   In any case I look forward to the day I do get on that plane, check into a motel/hotel and give you a call to say, “Hi Michael, I’m here.”Love, Dorothy
Dorothy always inspires me with her words.   I admire how she simply decides to STOP in order “to gather the mental and emotional energy needed to continue”.    Still…she never seems to stop as she is always thinking smartly.
“People like us who have so much to do, are NOT the type to become addicted.”Reading and music and painting were enough to keep us happy.--Emily Hawn, NO HURRY TO GET HOME

Mr. Sophisticate

“My goal is really very simple:  When a man looks at a woman wearing one of my dresses, I would like him basically to be saying to himself, ‘I HAVE TO FUCK HER’.  I think every woman deserves to be desired.  Is that really asking too much?”--John Galliano, Fashion Designer
I mailed a postcard to Paloma from Santa Barbara on June 8th.  I had to send it to her because it was a masterpiece card by artist Jean Dufy, Chateau Among the Trees from 1935 and the imprint of the card had these words:  THIS SUMMER, LET US TAKE YOU TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.   I wrote:Hi Paloma,
...escaped for a Saturday to San Simeon, CA, the Hearst Castle and the Central California Coastal area.  It's really pretty here.  Your Joyeaux Anniversaire Bicycle Card you sent me was FANTASTIC!Also, I enjoyed your SETE postcard with your letter!  It brought back memories.  You will always have special hold on me and speical place in my heart.Love You,Michael


I received a cool BLACK JAGUAR card from Lottie today.   She wrote:
6-10-91MondayMichael,A belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY…the 26th of May just got away so quickly!
Michael was sent out on a fire 2 ½ weeks ago.   He was to be home today but called yesterday to let me know they are sending his crew to another fire.   I truly am a “FIRE WIDOW”.
Reida is getting to be a handful at 17 ½ pounds, four teeth with two on the way.   She rolls everywhere…crawling cannot be too far behind.  She is absolutely precious!
You spoke of “battle of the bulge” in your last letter.   I gained 25 pounds while pregnant and have lost all except four to five pounds.   I have not been exercising so the extra weight leaves me with a “tummy”.  I need to work on that.
Alaska has some beautiful areas.   It’s too bad Fairbanks isn’t one of them.   Denali National Park is 3 hours South West of here and it is beautiful there:  Mount McKinley, caribou, long-horned sheep, grizzly bears and moose.   Speaking of moose---our moose is back—in the backyard yesterday.   There is was.  I’m not sure if it is male or female and I have no intention of getting close enough to see it.   They can be quite mean. 
Reida is becoming fussy…nap time.  I am closing for now.  Keep me posted on L.A. and all the dirt on your love life (He-He!).  Take Care!Love, Lottie
Paloma acknowledged my last two letters… Dear Michael, Thank you for your last two letters (nice cards).  My favorite cards are the naked woman and man (the woman with the black underwear)…and the TARZAN one.  I also love the luggage on the card with the lady and man coming down the stairs.  You may not remember…here is another bicycle card for you.  I don’t think I already sent it…if I did then maybe I’ just losing my head!   I’m really sorry I’m not writing more often.  I thought I would during my holidays but it’s been even worse than when I work because we’ve been moving a lot and also because Jonathon is going to be 2 ½ years old soon.  He already drives our car and for Christmas he’s going to have his own (an electric car, of course). 
Did you have friends in Los Angeles before you moved here?    What is it like where you live?  I have been to L.A. twice.   The first time I just went to DISNEYLAND for three days with Lise, Alison and family.   The second time was in January with Carmela.  We did our shopping on rodeo Drive (just kidding).  I remember it was very French with a lot of boutiques…
And a couple of more postcards arrived from Dorothy Rua:
Michael,How is this for the models of Merced?  I thought it would excite you.  You’ll just have to keep yourself under control until she’s finished with the modeling show she and her friends are busy preparing for!   Don’t you just love the lingerie?
I saw WHEN HARRY MET SALLY and it was more predictable than I thought it would be.  Have you seen BLACK RAIN?   It looks like a good action movie.I hope all is well with you.   Call me sometime.   Dorothy
P.S.  When you get to Beverly Hills and begin “dating” those mature, rich ladies, ask if they have any 80+ year old brothers.  If I don’t win big with the lottery/lotto I’m going to have to come up with another plan—and “sugar daddies” may be the answer!
I thought you’d enjoy these enclosures.  Oh…did you like the movie AFFAIRS OF THE HEART?   The title alone makes it sound worthwhile.   Did you learn everything you need to know for CHARLES SCHWAB?  Maybe you will get transferred to Walnut Creek someday.  Watch out CROGAN’s!   And I’d have to find time to meet you for a drink after work!

So…have you decided to move to Alan’s place?  It sounds like a great house and location (?).   Does he rent rooms to tried wives/mothers who seek an occasional break from the routine?  Ha…Wouldn’t that be wonderful!  I assure you he’d make a fortune.
What will you do with you place?
Maybe sometime you can send me a picture of you or you and Alan posing in front of the mansion with cold drinks in hand and smiles on your faces.   LIFE can be wonderful…can’t it?I am really glad to know all IS well with you.  I did miss hearing from you though I understand the lapse.   I felt similar earlier in the year and I’m still trying to pull out of that state on certain days/weeks!   I did appreciate your MR. SOPHISTICATE card in your letter.Love, Dorothy
This recent collection of correspondence simple makes me want to get in-shape, look good and keep moving-on for the better.
…and his diet: no alcohol, no sugar, no fried foods.  His exercise regimen:  running several days a week, lifting weights in the garage.--THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN, a novel by Garth Stein

KISSING

There was such an incredible logic to KISSING, such a metal-to-magnet pull between two people that it was a wonder that they found the strength to prevent themselves from succumbing every second.   Rightfully, the world should be a whirlpool of KISSING into which we sank and never found the strength to rise up again.--Ann Patchett, BEL CANTO, a novel
From Dorothy Rua, a Black and White sexy postcard:
June 6, 1991Dear Michael, It was graduation time for me:  Jean-Paul (5th to 6thgrade) and Nicole (8th to 9th).  Nicole’s class had a graduation dance and it seemed really strange to me to have a boy come to pick her up (her first date).  They had a great time.  He even took her to MAX’S OPERA CAFÉ before the dance!   I’ve only been there once myself when I had lunch with you there.   We discussed your favorite movie:  THIEF OF HEARTS.  It seems like so long ago.  I guess it was (nearly two years).
I hope I get a chance to see ONLY THE LONELY.  You got me interested.
What do you think of this card?   I know you think I have a weird thing for the back side of females.  I just realized I’ve sent you more than one rear view in the past.   I guess I’ll need to do some self-analysis.  Ha!   This is the one I told you about with the tattoo.  It doesn’t even come close to your LATIN KISS card.  I looked at that KISSING card again today and it still causes a physical reaction.  Jeez…it’s great!
Let me know what you have on the back burner when you get your oven turned on!  Love, Dorothy
And a couple of other sexy Black and White postcards from ALAN arrived for me this time.   We were escaping the San Simeon area soon; it’s near the HEARST CASTLE:
June 7, 1991Mike,Have a great, romantic weekend in San Simeon.  RELAX and ENJOY with lots of exercise and fun.   See you soon.  Alan
And the other card:
June 9, 1991 …while I’m in NY you are probably fantasizing (dreaming of being with someone like this on this card).  So…answer these questions:
1.       Have you ever had sex with someone like this?2.       Isn’t sex with me like having sex with these guys?3.       Are you bored with me and my body?4.       Why don’t y you work with me to improve my body?5.       How do you feel about 4 years?   It is enough?  Or do you want more?6.       Do you LOVE me as much as I love you?Love, Alan
THAT KISS was like a lake, deep and clear and they swam into it, forgetting.  “We’ll have to wait and see,” he said.
--Ann Patchett, BEL CANTO, a novel

Fondness For Watching Soap-Operas

“It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”--Abraham Malsow
And so…Reed Campbell, my former co-worker from the Accounts Collection Office in San Francisco, sent me a postcard from the VIZCAYA Museum and Gardens in Florida.   That was thoughtful.
Hi Mike, Thinking of you and envying your nearness to the sands of Santa Monica, etc.   I have been keeping busy and doing a little travel.  I had to fly to MIAMI a couple of weeks ago for an old friends’ funeral.   I did some sightseeing also.  This place (VIZCAYA) is like the Hearst Castle on the Gulf Coast.   Drop a line when you have time.Best, Reed
On May 29th, my brother arrived with Helen and the girls.   I took them all to one of my favorite beach spots in Malibu.  I took some fun, memorable photos, too. 
Given my fondness for watching soap-operas during parts of my teen days I had to go and see the new film called SOAPDISH.   Soap-operas are a psychological study of various frameworks of relationships and troubles.  One may seriously learn from soap-opera storylines.   I know I have learned much.  I persuaded Alan to go on the opening release of SOAPDISH on the night of May 31st.    It was a bit of a spoof…not so serious.  I prefer the serious side of soap storylines.  There's always a lesson of how our lives can get complicated.  Oh well…it was something different.
On this last day of May I also wrote a cool, sexy, self-made postcard to Paloma:
5-31-91Dear Paloma,It was really pleasant to “hear” from you on my Birthday.   Thanks for calling me!   I did get the second Birthday card the very next day.   It’s a great bicycle card.   You know the cards I will like…don’t you?
Now…how do you like this card? 
Tony, Helen and the girls just returned home today to Castro Valley last night.   It was fun having them for a visit.
And now, my pal, Michael Miller, is flying in for the weekend.  He arrives tomorrow night.   Do you remember him?   He’s kind of funny/peculiar sometimes.  It will be fun allowing him to come over for a visit.  
So…how is your marriage (so-to-speak) going with Alexandre?   Is the relationship always at an all-time HIGH or does it sometimes hit a LOW?   Let me know.
I love RHONE and Beaujolais Villages French wines.   French wine is the BEST. Later, LOVE, Michael
A number of experiments showing that feeling connected to others increases our psychological well-being and physical health, and diminishes the risk of depression.  The feeling of connection and belonging to a wider community also increases empathy and fosters behavior based on trust and cooperation.
--Matthieu Ricard, ALTRUISM

INTERPRETATIONS

“And what if there is nothing for me to GIVE you?”He shook his head.  “What a thing to say!   After all you have given to me.  But it is NEVER about who has given what.  That is NOT the way to think of gifts.”--Ann Patchett, BEL CANTO, a novel
Dorothy sent the cutest card of a toddler on his first beach ball.
Hi Michael,Not just creative…but clever too!  I looked at the envelope.  I had just pulled from my mailbox and asked myself, “Who do you know that hangs out at the Stanford Court Hotel?”  I couldn’t come up with an answer so I opened it and there YOU were!   You didn’t even use your usual handwriting.  Well, you really surprised me this time and what a GREAT surprise with six wonderful cards and a picture of your latest piece of art too.  You’ve outdone yourself which pleases me immensely.You had so much to say.   Where do I begin?  Wish I’d been around for your phone call.  I did end up at H’s Lordships in Berkeley for brunch on MOTHER’S DAY.  The food was good but the best part was being on the water.Your palm (THE PALM) painting is great.  It’s really good.   Even from the snapshot I can feel the depth of the ocean.   The colors are perfect.  I especially like the aqua closer to the shore and the different shades of blue the further out one looks.   The detail of your palm leaves is incredible…so real.   I also appreciate the contrast of the dark palm and the bright ocean.   I have to tell you, Michael, sometimes you do amaze me.   I look forward to the time I’ll be able to see all of your work “LIVE”.  Keep doing what you’re doing.  You’re good.
So…I’m just finding out you read TAROT CARDS!   It sounds like you were pretty accurate with Alan.  One part of me would love to have you read the TAROT for me and another part says, “I don’t know if I want to know.”   Actually, it would probably be fun.  I’ll have you bring them if I ever get a chance to go on that cruise by myself or with a fun friend.   I’ll be sure to give you the dates, place and ship.  What fun we could have!Speaking of being afraid of the unknown your INTERPRETATIONSof that card I sent are so accurate.  It’s scary.   I sometimes see myself as you described:   searching in an overwhelming sea, choosing to stay balanced rather than venture into the unknown.   It is a battle I’ve always had within myself…more so in the last couple of years.  I know some of the reasons I am where I am now.  I hope they’re the right reasons.  I’m glad you liked the cards I sent.   Don’t concern yourself about never having gone fishing when you’re literally fighting with those big guys at the end of your line.You’re right that we should each write a boot and reach each other’s first drafts.   I imagine they’d be very different from each other but then who knows.    We’ll see…It was interesting to read your comments about preferring the beach to Hollywood.   I’ve always preferred the beach to ANY OTHER PLACE but I find your comments interesting just the same.   Your comparison of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver to me was music to my ears…soul warming.  Thank you for making me feel good.  Or were they real bummers that day?   Ha-ha.   Enough about them.  How do you like this card?  All of my years on the beach I never had a beach ball.   Did you?   I want to hear more about your possible family trip to New Mexico.  Maybe next time I’ll have to send another card soon.   There’s no more room in this one.  More later.  Love, Dorothy
And Paloma wrote again and inserted a cool magazine clipping from the CANNES Film Festival 1991:
Dear Michael, Thank you for your last letter and for the picture.  You look as gorgeous as ever.   I’m sorry I’m not writing very often but I’m very busy and when I’m not I am very tired.   We have a lot of people (way more than when you visited).   Right now they are building 50 more apartments so we’re going to have 154.   
It’s funny you are telling me about LA FEMME NIKITA.  It’s just called NIKITA here in France.   And Anne Parillaud…well, of course, I know her.   She’s done lots of movies (usually lots of bad ones for teenager where she always played the cute, stupid girl).   She was then married (or maybe not—but lived with) one of France’s richest men: OLIVIER DASSAULT.   Then she had an adventure with Alain Delon.   It wasn’t ‘in bed’ but she made a movie with him.   Then we didn’t hear about her for a pretty long time.   She had the reputation of being a pretty bad actress.   She came back as Luc Besson’s wife.   They have a baby together (about Jonathan’s age).  Luc Besson is the director who made LE GRAND BLEU (THE BIG BLUE) and SUBWAY with Christophe Lambert (TARZAN) and Isabelle Adjani.  Luc Besson is very famous here.   THE BIG BLUE was a big thing.  He won all the CESARS (almost).   As for NIKITA…it only won one I think.   Anne Parillaud won the BEST ACTRESS.   She cried a lot when she got it.   It was a really big change in her career.  I haven’t seen NIKITA yet but since you say it is good I will rent it.   We pretty much have the same taste for movies.   On Tuesday evening I am going to try to see LES NUITS AVEN MON ENNEMI.  In English I think it’s SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY with Julia Roberts.  Have you seen it?The Cannes Festival is “on” right now.  We’re expecting MADONNA right now for her movie called IN BED WITH MADONNA.   Did they play it in the States?   Yesterday, they showed her hotel room.  It is pretty cool.   Too bad for all of these poor stars.   The weather is awful in Cannes right now.   Two of the three days they had to go up the stairs running with umbrellas (pretty funny with their gorgeous dresses). 
My brother Edward is in Paris with his wife right now.  He is going to stay in Europe until the 4thof July.  I talked to him on the phone.  He told me about New Orleans (where he lives now).  It sounds pretty interesting.  He said he has a gorgeous, huge house there.  He said rent is pretty low there, so maybe next winter that’s where we will go.  He told me he very often goes to gorgeous beaches in Florida which is only a four-hour drive.  I’d like to go to Florida.   Maybe if we could find some kind of cheap pass we could go see you.  I also would like to go to Hawaii to see Monica.  I don’t know.  We will see how things go.  I want to do so many things.  I also want to go to Mexcio or to LA GUADALOUPE.  I don’t know how you call those islands in English.
Alexandre wants to go to CLUB MED, so I’ve been looking at the MEXICO and THE BAHAMAS for the two of us (without Jonathan).   It wouldn’t be very fare for two weeks it would cost around 30,000 Francs I guess that’s about $5,500 US dollars (at least the IXTAPA, for example).   Well, I will stop this letter for now.  I will write again tomorrow.I’ve lost the zip code that makes the letters arrive faster.Love, Paloma
I used several of my self-created cards and wrote Paloma a letter to keep her updated with the latest in groove with me.  Here goes:
May 21, 1991, 6PMDear Paloma,THANKS for remembering me on my birthday.  I really like the O’Neill container for my eyeglasses.  It will come in handy during my bike rides because I never seem to have a pocket when I want to take my shades (sunglasses) off.   I’ve been riding my bike a lot more lately.  I ride through a number of beach towns from Santa Monica, Venice Beach, Marina del Rey, Playa del Rey, El Segundo, Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, Palos Verdes and then back to Santa Monica.  It takes me a good two hours and forty-five minutes.

One day I did it twice which made for five and a half hours of riding!   I guess that’s pretty good since I have been lazy for a while there.  I’ve also been going to the gym more often.  Have you been working out?
When your card said ANNIVERSAIRE I was confused.  I though you meant Happy Anniversary but I guess that’s French for HAPPY BIRTHDAY, right?   I’m so smart.
It’ll try not to forget your Birthday ever again.   January 2nd, right?
Wow…COCO had a baby girl this time.  How cute.  I remember her, Regi and ZonZon.  I forgot that ZonZon is the father.   That’s pretty neat.   We went to that wedding together near Vaucresson (I think) but I don’t remember going to Coco and ZonZon’s house.
I understand that you’re very busy with LES HAUTS DEL BALARUC RESIDENCE CLUB.   It’s hard to find good writing time, isn’t it?   It’s ok…as long as you don’t go for MONTHS of not writing.   There’s no excuse for that.  It sounds like you have your hands full with 154 more units.   Wow!
That’s cool!   I knew you’d know about ANNE PARILLAUD.   That was good dirt about her that I did not know.   I didn’t know about her relationship with Olivier Daussault and that she was married to Luc Besson.   From what you say it seems she finds the men with the best bank accounts.  I never saw THE BIG BLUE but I always wanted to see it.  Maybe I’ll rent that next chance I get.  Yes, you must see LA FEMME NIKITA.  It’s not on video here.  It’s still at the movie theaters.  I hope they do a sequel.

Yes, I also saw Julia Roberts in the film SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY.  I guess it was ‘okay’ but it seemed more like a TV-movie.  Has SILENCE OF THE LAMBS starring Jodie Foster been released there yet?   That’s a great thriller that you’ve got to see.  I also saw the new MADONNA movie called TRUTH OR DARE.  It’s the last movie I’ve seen.  It was good.  I enjoyed it.  It’s just a behind the scenes look at things which gives more insight on what she is like as a person in real-life.   They showed pictures and news highlights of the CANNES Film Festival.   She was such a rave of interest there.   That’s funny about the bad weather.  I didn’t know that scoop.   It was nice when I was there in July 1990.
Wow…Edward and his wife are in Paris now, huh?   Sounds nice…aren’t they going to have any kids?  
A house here in the West Coast for $100,000 would give twice as much property in sections of the east or middle of America (like Louisiana).  I’ve never been to New Orleans.  I hear it’s really fun during the Mardi Gras Festival.  I’m sure Edward’s house is huge but I’d never want to live there.   California IS the place.  Louisiana (New Orleans), Alabama, Georgia and Mississippi are very populated by a lot of black people (not that it’s always a bad thing)…there are better areas within each of those states.  It takes some searching.

You sure have the right idea and right plans for the ideal vacation:  Florida, Hawaii, California, Mexico, Club Med Ixtapa or Bahamas.    I think you should go to Hawaii.  If you do you could see Monica and maybe I could synchronize a four or five day escape there also.   I could meet you and Alexandre for a Luau dinner or something.   Then again, the Bahamas is a good choice, too.   They do say some of the best beaches are in Florida.  It’s a tough decision, isn’t it?
I may go see a movie tonight called JOURNEY OF HOPE.  I don’t know what it’s about but it won the BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE film during the Academy Awards.  I’ve never seen it.Your last letter was of a decent length.   The latest news with me is that I’m still unemployed but I did take a Federal Management Exam and got 95% across the board.  I am now in their available list to work in LA County, Orange County, SF-Bay Area, Santa Cruz-San Jose, Hawaii and New York City areas.   Who knows what could happen next?   I am also close to a deal as a Financial Planner with IDS-Investor Diversified Services.
I shared the dirt with Alan about “NIKITA” (Anne Parillaud).   He says, “HI”.  He still talks about how great that restaurant was that you took us to and the Saint-Emilion wine.    I wish I was there NOW…just you and me.  
My brother, Tony, his wife, Helen and their daughters (Lauren and Leigh) are coming to visit me.   Then they will hit DISNEYLAND for a full-day which is about a 45-minute drive from me.   When will the French DISNEYLAND-PARIS be ready?Oh well…until next time.  Always…Love You, Michael
A note from Dorothy:
5-23-1991Happy Day, Michael:I don’t know what’s planned for the 26th but I’m sure you’ll find your way to the beach sometime during this long weekend.  Your bike must be leaning against one of the Palm trees nearby…What did you do with that rich widow?  You have her struggling with those big waves way out in the distance.  Ha-ha.I do hope you have a GREAT time on your Birthday…make sure you do.   I’ll be thinking of you.  Until Later…Love, Dorothy
And some cool postcards from Paloma:
le 24 Mai 1991Hi Michael,
I just feel like writing right now because I’m feeling good.  I had a good day.   First, I saw a funny movie, a French one called LE FETE DE PERES (that means FATHER’S DAY).   I don’t think they’ll play it in the States but I’m sure someday they’ll make an American remake (like they did with THREE MEN AND A BABY).  I think that was the name which was a remake of a French movie called TROIS HOMMES ET UN COUFFIN.   French movies are good but I agree it’s pretty rare.  It’s the story of two men who are living together (gay), a really FUN couple, and one of them is an actor I really like called THIERRY LHERMITTE.  In real-life Thierry is marries to the sister of my friend who had a gym in Paris.   I don’t know if you remember I used to go there when I came back to France.
I still love the color turquoise.  I’m sure I always will.  What do you think about this card?  I like it.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t.  Ha-ha.  Doesn’t this remind you of something?  Aren’t we mean?   The Laguiole knives are famous because they are beautiful.  It’s just like something fancy to own…like a MONT BLANC pen.   Do you know those with a white star on top?   Every time I see a pen in a movie or a TV commercial that’s the one you see.   The Laguiole knives are pretty expensive (you can have your name engraved on it and stuff like that; you would love that wouldn’t you?).   The MONT BLANC pens are also very expensive.
And from Barbara Reynolds: 25 May 1991Dear Michael,Tomorrow is your Birthday…32nd?   I’ve received all of your great cards and notes.   Thank you.  Apologies for my sluggish greeting and I always think of many excuses…so now I listen to a tape by Paul Winter called WOLF EYES, a retrospective as I relax on my bed ruing the last hour of the day’s light, remembering the reading of your note regarding arranging multitudes of postcards on your wall.   I would like to have a space for that.  I’d actually like to gut this place and start over somewhere else…alas there is always some place better…and there are worse places.   I’m at home for a few hours but then I’ll go up to Alice’s house (in Montclair).   She is in Chicago.  I am house sitting and feeding fish and Cooper, her cat.  I love the trees there.This card is special to me in that I knew Emil White, the artist.  He lived to be 83 years old in Big Sur, originally born in Austria but ran away from home at age sixteen.  He was friends with Henry Miller.   So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Michael.  I hope this year is full of rewards for you.With Love, Barbara
And so…the Happy 32nd Birthday Cards begin…I loved this one from Ashley, my niece:
“Happy Birthday to My Better Half”.   I could almost write a book about how much you mean to me….tap, tap, tap…UNCLE MIKE.   But then, why so many words when all I need are three!  I LOVE YOU.Love, Ashley
And a cute selective coloring cards of a boy and a girl (from Dorothy Rua):

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL,My wish for you?   Happiness and all things wonderful, always…included would be a ticket to travel to all areas of the world that interest you, traveling by plane, ship and train for variety.Cards from each wonderful place could be sent to DJR, therefore, a journal of sorts.  Later, maybe a book about all of those places and people.
But wait…I’d want to go, too!   Birthday wishes…birthday dreams; life could be ever so interesting.Make my wishes for you, your dreams for yourself, come true.  Plan that next trip!   And share…Happy Birthday To You. With Love and Special Thoughts, Dorothy
Dorothy also sent a second card with these words:
Dear Michael, Wishing you an enchanting birthday and a wonderful year.   With hopes that all of your wishes come true… Nothing is more wonderful than having an angel for a friend (WHO  IS MORE THAN A FRIEND).Happy Birthday.  Thinking of You.  
With Love, Dorothy
And the annual Birthday card from my maternal grandmother, Mary Genevieve Leyba-Lucero, with that crisp $20 dollar bill:
WARMEST BIRTHDAY WISHES ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
Live each day as if your LIFE had just begun.  –GOETHE
5-26-91All the joy and happiness That life can bring your way,Good friends,Good healthy, Good fortune, Throughout each future day—All the things you’re planningAnd hoping will come trueAre in these Birthday wishesEspecially for you.  HAPPY BIRTHDAYDear Grandson,I Love You.  God Bless.   Granny.
OH and, of course, from MOM:
May 26, 1991Dear Mike, My Son:
“One of the true joys of living is having the kind of son who always makes the family proud and who’s liked by everyone.   That’s why this brings you worlds of LOVE and fondest wishes, too.   For after all, not everyone has a wonderful son like you.  Happy Birthday with Love, Mom.P.S.  Mike, Have a dinner or buy yourself something.  I will take you out for dinner when I go over there.  I just finished talking to you on the phone so I don’t have anything to say.  It’s twenty minutes to nine and it’s time to put a videocassette in to tape my movie.  Love you, Mom (she included a $100 dollar bill).
And the GRAND FINALE Birthday card from Paloma of a ‘cool bike’:
Dear Michael, Not only did you get one—but two—birthday cards.  How do you feel now?  I don’t know why I have the feeling you won’t forget my birthday next year!  Just kidding.It’s just when I saw this card I had to send it to you, just like all the other BICYCLE related cards.  Isn’t it funny to find a birthday card with a BIKE on it?   I went to see SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY.   I liked it.  I find Julia Roberts very attractive.  I love her hair.I’m reading Elizabeth Glaser’s book, IN THE ABSENCE OF ANGELS about the death of her daughter, Ariel, and about AIDS.   It’s pretty sad.Oh…my mom is here now.  She’s not working anymore.  I’m happy about that.  Jonathan is really enjoying playing with her.  I haven’t had the chance to do it with my grandparents.Gilad Janklowicz does his Aerobics Class now at Paradise Cove.  If you go to Hawaii again you can go see him.  He seems to be really fun.  I guess he also works in a gym called BODIES IN MOTION.You’re right.  You can marry a 25-year old bombshell when you are 45 but you’d just better be rich then!   25-year old bombshells hardly fall in love for the beauty of a 45 year old guy but you could also be famous.  I remember when I was 16 and I went out with a guy who was about 30.  I used to think that I was really doing him a favor.   For me…then…that was really an old man.  Funny for me now to think that I’m older than he was.   And I am so YOUNG!   Jonathan and I are send you a big kiss and hug (and Alexandre his regards).I wish I could have a friend like you around—that would be great.Write me what you’ve done for your Birthday.  Did you have a good time?   Well, just one more thing:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY.  Love, Paloma
Oh…and Alan left with his daughters to the snow.  He did mail me a postcard though: 5/27/91MIKE-HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.I missed 11:58pm last night.  It is 10:45 and I want to talk to you.  It was nice seeing  you and your family.   Let’s go bike riding at Lake Arrowhead this summer.  When?   ALAN
Positive emotions like joy, contentment, gratitude, wonder, enthusiasm, inspiration, and love have an additional dimension that is NOT reducible to neutrality of mind:   They are a source of profound satisfaction.   This implies that in order to flourish in life one must foster the blossoming of positive emotions.
--Matthieu Ricard, ALTRUISM

Keep Your Enemies Close

“Altruism implies the elimination of selfish desire and of egocentrism, as well as leading a life devoted to the well-being of others.”--Auguste Comte
There’s a new movie out called MANNEQUIN ON THE MOVE.  It sounds like it is right up my alley (a romantic comedy about a guy who falls for a girl who actually is a mannequin) but there’s no time to see it.  Perhaps another time…
I’m anticipating a new one that is coming out in about a week called THELMA AND LOUISE with Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon. 
The preview of THELMA AND LOUISE looks fun…and there’s some new Hollywood James Dean type guy who is getting a lot of play named Brad Pitt.   I wonder if he will go anywhere.   They all seem to ‘come and go’.  It’s not easy ‘to stick’ in the Entertainment biz.   It’s often drugs, a dramatic mishap or age that makes a new star wither away.
And so…I get another letter from an old boyfriend (namely Chad).   He writes in a very impersonal why by writing it entirely typewritten.   I had forgotten I sent him a couple of postcards while in Vegas.  Why did I do that?  I have no idea.   Alan keeps repeating a line from THE GODFATHER, “Keep your enemies close.”
I think that is what inspires me to maintain contact with a select few.
14 May 1991Dear Michael, Hey!   Thanks for the postcards.  How was Las Vegas and New York?  I know this sounds like a broken record, but…if you took pictures…you know, my usual request.  I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you.  How was your three week internship at the Graphic Design Studio?I wish I had some exciting news to tell but I don’t.  Life is good.  Life goes on.  I’m the one who should be sending you postcards.  I have so little to say.  Please, fill me in on the latest.Even though I don’t have much to say, I did want to say that I was thinking about you and I hope you’re doing well.  Say hello to Alan for me.   Take care.Always,Chad
He forced himself to think quickly but answer slowly.  A sweaty moment passed.
--Ben Macintyre, AGENT ZIGZAG