Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 41

Just Close Your Eyes And Puff

“The devil is in the details.”--as heard while watching the 2009 film GI JOE, THE RISE OF THE COBRA
Alan and I were enjoying Puerto Rico.  I persuaded him to go horseback riding along the beach (a wish I had always wanted to experience).  Alan seemed a bit awkward and worried to be on horseback.  I simply patted the nape of my horses’ neck and whispered, “My Friend” and he seemed to like me just fine.  I loved the ride…a beautiful experience that everyone ought to experience at least once.
We continued our journey to the Caribbean Island of St. Kitts, staying at the GOLDEN LEMON INN AND VILLAS, a resort that was run by a guy who retired from being an executive with a major magazine.  What a beautiful island.  I loved our villa (Yes, Alan made sure we had our very own villa).  The villa had its own private swimming pool.  We took a local bus into town and we were mesmerized by a song called SALTFISH (SOLFISH) by the Mighty Sparrow.  To hear it on a bus on this Caribbean Island was like a dreamy, relaxing, new cultural experience.  The song meant a lot to me also because there was a young local boy near our hotel at the shoreline with a collection of fish that he had caught.   Each of the fish was more colorful and beautiful than the other.  That was amazing and unforgettable to see.
Our Valentine week escape ended too soon but I was happy to find the mail that had built up in my mailbox (including some more cool Valentine’s) from Barbara Reynolds, my Aunt Lela, Dorothy Rua, my niece Lauren Armijo and Alan.   Barbara’s letter made me laugh because she thought I was an insurance salesman.  I merely had to have a license to sell insurance but I’m a Financial Planner (big difference than one who lives and breathes with the chore of simply selling insurance). 
12 Feb 1992Dear Michael,It is Valentine’s so I thought you might enjoy this card from my collection.  I don’t feel too bad that I’m not sharing that day with a special one…but leap year is here.  Hmmmm….I can’t seem to lose this weight I’ve been lugging about for a year.  So perhaps my two weeks in Hawaii will help.Thank you for your letter of a few weeks past.  I was lucky to have been called and picked for jury duty on January 14th.  It was a criminal case in Berkeley Municipal Court.  It was a fascinating experience.  Of course it was an unusual case.   The female defendant (close to my age) was accused of Battery against five city council members, including the Mayor of Berkeley.  She doused them with “skunk oil” last November 5, 1991.  My council rep was one of the witnesses.   And it turned out that our Judge (a woman and also about my age) goes to the same YWCA as me.  It was a great way to begin the year, an opportunity to meet other community members.
So how is the insurance business?  Is it something you enjoy?  I was a bit surprised to think of you in insurance. 
I am on the bus homebound, so apologies but it is a shaky ride.
I don’t go to Hawaii until March 17th but it is mostly what I think about these days.  It is mostly what excites me.  I have been thinking (and been concerned) about the floods in Southern California.  I’m hoping you are well and not having “too bad” experiences.Be well, Love, Barbara
I was happy to find a letter from my Aunt Lela (she was married to my dad’s brother/my Godfather until he passed away of a sudden heart attack in 1981 at the young age of 43).  She wrote:
2/13/92Dear Nephew, Just a few lines to let you know I’m thinking of you and hope all is well with you.  Boy, all of the rain and the problems it is causing in your area…have you been affected?   I sure hope you’re okay and haven’t had any real problems because of it.
I was in Sacramento a month ago visiting with Pat Vigil.  Troy came by to introduce his two children to us.  He has a boy about four years old and a little girl who is about two and a half.  WE got to talking about how none of the Vigil grandchildren have ever met.  So he wants to get in touch with at least one member of each family to put together a reunion (Nothing fancy or too expensive…just the locals more or less).
You know Cynthia has divorced and lives with a really nice man and they are expecting their first child in March.  Todd has one little girl.The other Vigils:  Steve has two girls.  Paul has a son.  Edward has two girls and Christina still hasn’t any.
Aunt Nellie’s daughter, Becky, wants to be part of this too.  She has one girl who is about seven years old (Jessica Banks).
Joey and Michelle have three as you know.  I really feel bad that my grandchildren don’t even know they have ARMIJO cousins.  How sad, huh?
Let’s see what we can do about getting this together this summer, okay?  Get a hold of Troy at 916-723-2704.  I’m sure you remember how much fun all of you little boys had when we got together.  Let’s put this joy in your nieces’ lives.My love…Take Care,God Bless, Love Aunt Lela
And from Dorothy Rua:
Michael,WE VALENTINE’S DAY CELEBRATORS GET VERY EMOTIONAL!  HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!  …Just thinking of someone special on this special day.  I hope your day turns out interesting.  I may celebrate with a glass of wine or two.  If so, I’ll say a quiet toast to you….just because.
Do you think this package of HERSHEY KISSES will last until you get on the next plane?  I thought you might enjoy some sweets during the long trip.  I couldn’t fit the box of COCOA PUFFS in this envelope.Enjoy.  As Always, LOVE, Dorothy
Lauren Armijo created her very own VALENTINE CARD for me “in pencil”.  It could have used a bit of color but I guess she didn’t have access to her crayons.  I liked the detail of her heart and the loving words:  I LOVE YOU UNCLE MIKE
Alan sent me a card that had the following words imprinted inside:
I know it must be startling to realize how common your name must be for this greeting card to have been printed, but just think how much more disconcerting it would be if it also mentioned your brown hair and your concern about losing it, your great athlete potential, your subtle sense of humor, and your intense drive to succeed.  DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!  HAVE A BEER!
In Alan’s own handwriting he wrote: 1992MIKE, I LOVE YOU.  Your Best Friend,Alan
He sent a separate postcard of three ALL AMERICAN MALES that was supposed to be anonymous but I recognized Alan’s handwriting: 
2//14/1992Dear Valentine,Which one of us do you want in 1992?   Just close your eyes and puff… 3 Good-Looking Guys
I had to laugh.  
I chose a postcard from my archives to mail to mom the day after Valentine’s Day.  I chose a postcard from BARCELONA:  
2-15-92Dear Mom,
I bought this card in SPAIN in July 1990.  Did you know that if you liquidated and sold all of your assets, etc. that you could be living in SPAIN?  I love this card and I LOVE YOU!I’m writing this while in Alan’s car, heading to Laguna Beach.Love, Michael
My eyes rested on his fine mouth, I reflected that there was something about it that aroused ideas of sweetness, of sleep, something secret and gentle and sad—and still youthful.  And I remembered the adage:  “A kissed mouth never grows old.”--THE PURE AND THE IMPURE by COLETTE

In The Year 2039

“We are each of us born into trouble.  It is a sad fate to come into this world at all.”“That may be true.  Yet we must find the patience and resignation to endure our challenges as they arise to meet us.”--Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS
What a surprise!  Julie Waller got married.  I received a card with a couple of photos from her San Anselmo address (Marin County: 609 San Anselmo Avenue).  She wrote:
February 6, 1992Hi Michael,I’m so sorry.  This letter is long overdue.  The last six months I’ve been extremely busy.  

I got married in November.  A lot of our relatives came, including my mom…and I invited a lot of her friends.  So there wasn’t enough room for a lot of my friends.  It turned out a success.  It was one of the best days of my life. 

We went to JAMAICA for our honeymoon.  Needless to say, we had the best time.  It was one of those resorts that serve unlimited food, drinks, galore...  Most of the people we met in the resort had also just got married the same day we did!Local people in Jamaica were very nice, friendly.  Although some part of the island was poverty-stricken.  It made me think how much we have in the states.I also had a tubal pregnancy that put me out for several weeks.  The holidays were very quiet for us.  We spent most of the time at home.Well, so much to catch up on.  How are your holidays?  Are you dating?  What are you doing now?  Any luck with your screenwriting?   Write back soon as I have to get ready for work.Take Care, Love Julie
Alan’s longtime friend, Herb Braha (who he met via a cold call many years ago) sent a postcard during an escape with his wife, Carol, to ISRAEL.  I didn’t know Herb was a Syrian Jew until Alan mentioned it recently: Dear Alan and Michael:Unfortunately there is no stock market operating in the desert.  However, the country of ISRAEL is beautiful and quite moving.  There are thousands of teenagers with machine guns on their backs.  They think Los Angeles is the most violent city in the world.  The food is fair, always spiced with something.  People are nice, friendly and helpful. Carol is good.  Her father saw his brother for their historic meeting sixty-three years later.  We are on to Jerusalem today to visit the Wailing Wall and the old city.Haifa is beautiful…much like San Francisco.  See you soon.Best Regards,Herb and Carol
Ashley sent me one of the Valentine’s I sent her along with a new letter:
Dear Uncle Mike,I used your stamp that you gave me.  I could not find my ink so I put a marker on it and stamped it by the heart.  I made some Valentines with the FLINSTONE Valentine Cards that you gave me.  I did not get the information about the pen pal yet.  You would not believe how much I miss you.  We are doing a SPELL-A-THON.  I sold two.  Here’s another keychain for you.  I sold 366 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies!   I sold the most cookies in my troupe. Ally got sick on February 5th.  She threw-up all day.   That’s what mom said.  Well, I hope you like your FLINSTONE Valentine.  I have another one for you in the closet but I’m waiting for you to come and then you’ll get it.  I can’t wait until I get my address labels that have my name on them.Kisses and Hugs.  I Love you very much.Love, AshleyP.S.  I did see the pictures from Christmas.
Dorothy Rua found a cool, new photographic card of an ideal porch.  It was actually the porch of a museum property known as CHESTERWOOD in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.   She wrote:
2-7-92Dear Michael,Your latest cards are great even if I can’t celebrate retirement yet.  When I do though I hope to find myself on the same beach reflected on that one card…straw hat and all!  Card Number 2 with the round white picnic tables is also inviting, especially with the ocean so near!  LA NEGRESSE by Henri Matisse is quite unique.  


It must be really something at the Gallery of Art in D.C.  I’m curious to see how paper on canvas looks close-up.  You know what’s coming next…my favorite sun washed white terrace on the Mediterranean Sea with the splash of color offered by the flowering plants.  Yes, drinking a bottle of vintage red wine at that exact spot sounds wonderful.  Would you mind some company?  It looks very much like the coastline in Guam and it brings me back to the days I enjoyed there for so many summers.  I never sat on that particular terrace.  It’s something to dream about.  I can understand why it was difficult to part with that card.  It’s truly appreciated and it will brighten the area I work in (and my days).  Of course I will share it with RoseMarie and Kathy though!

It sounds like you’re still really busy preparing for your new career.  How did the presentation of your script go?  As far as prospecting goes I know this sounds morbid but what about the obituary in the newspapers, etc.   Widows left with disposable cash.   They may wish to invest for their heirs.  You may even find that one we used to tease you about.  Ha-ha.  Seriously, I know the energy you’re investing will pay off and it won’t be that long before you’re in up to your neck and hot all over! Ha-ha.  I am just quoting you, of course.  I loved your description!  Do send one of y our latest business cards.  I don’t have one.

My job is still boring as ever.  It is only a bit worse than usual because we have yet another supervisor as of January 2, 1992…a real pill!   I heard she won’t be around for long.  Once can hope!  Meanwhile, it’s a paycheck and benefits.   Where in the hell is that winning LOTTO ticket?On the home front my tenacity seems to be paying off—not with big strides but little steps.  I had another much needed talk and made a bit of progress.  We’ll see.  I wonder if the veranda we visit on in the year 2039 will look like this one of this card.  I have to believe that to the left the ocean is in my view and the waves are crashing with their usual force!  I may need their background music for the words that may flow.  I guess I’ll cut the melodramatics now!  Ha-ha.

I do plan to see FRIED GREEN TOMATOES soon.  I’m glad you liked it.  I hope I enjoy it, too.   I plan to see it with Kathy.I’m working on having a great February.  Make sure you do, too!  Later, Love, DorothyP.S. In answer to your question...my birthday is May 9th.

I loved when Dorothy wrote about our possibly meeting on a veranda in the the year 2039.  I often wonder what the future will bring.  Then again, I realize it is always best to enjoy the present and live for the moment.  We don't ask to be born, we don't ask to die; therefore, everything in-between is a gift.  Enjoy your gift (and perhaps that will include something special in the year 2039).   Maybe in the year 2039 I will finally taste fried green tomatoes.
Meanwhile, my nieces, LAUREN and LEIGH sent me Valentine’s.  That was so heartwarming.  What better gift in the world is there other than receiving handwritten mail or colored drawings from children?

I sent mom a postcard:2-8-92Hi Mom,I hadn’t sent you a card in a long time (at least a postcard), so I thought I’d drop you a line.  It’s better than getting another bill, right?  Ha-ha

I just came from SAV-ON for my prescription of pills to relieve my itching (that annoying dry skin: eczema).  It was only $3.79.  That’s good.  I guess it works.  I haven’t itched.Tomorrow is my big day.  My first day is Saturday.  I’ll be talking to you soon.Love, Michael
And yet…another cute letter from my eldest niece, Ashley arrived.  I loved her line about not having anything BIG enough to gift me:  February 10thDear Michael,How are you doing?  I wrote to Carrie two times but she will not get them then when I wrote them.  When are you coming to visit because I miss you a lot?  And I love you, too!Of course, Holly and Ally miss you.I love you.  Sorry I did not give you anything because I want to give you a big thing but I don’t have anything big enough.Love, Ashley…I Sure Do Miss You.
Alan and I are now amidst our adventure to Miami, Puerto Rico and the Caribbean Island of St. Kitts. I love Miami.  While seated at the corner of the NEWS CAFÉ it was like watching a free runway show of models (and they were simply walking down the street).  Apparently, Miami is a major mecca for South American beauties (both men and women).  People like to be looked at.  I guess it is satisfying to be noticed once in a while. Gianni Versace’s Miami home is on the same block as the NEWS CAFÉ in the center of South Beach.  It looks so majestic and fancy as I peeked through the gates for a quick glance.   I like South Beach.  It’s a fun escape for a weekend.
There was something satisfying about being noticed when you had no interest in meeting anyone, when you were safely above all of that.
--Christopher Bram, IN MEMORY OF ANGEL CLARE, a novel

She Knows How To Play The Game

Shortly after the Germans took over France, several pamphlets had been written by Frenchmen on how to deal with the occupiers.  Maintain dignity and distance, do not talk to them, and above all avoid eye contact.  In the animal world, direct eye contact was a challenge and a form of aggression.--Charles Belfoure, THE PARIS ARCHITECT, a novel
I received a lovely letter from my niece, Ashley.  It sparkles my day to see how her writing is improving.  She wrote:

Dear Uncle Mike,Thank you for everything.  I like those VALENTINE’s.   Holly can write her name now.Look on the back, Holly signed her name.The candy was great.Thank you for the dollar.HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.Thank you, I miss you.AshleyP.S. I love you.
And a couple of days later I received consecutive Black and White postcards from Dorothy Rua.  I loved the gentleman card, looking out on a veranda.  It’s so me.  Dorothy filled me in on her job/working prospects.  I suppose with any new job one has to maintain dignity and distance to feel out the entire situation.
Dorothy wrote on Postcard I: I transferred to another job within the company…not so much because of effectiveness but she knows how to play “THE GAME”.  I had always worked directly with Mike and his boss, Larry. Thank goodness because both of these guys are great.  I was never fond of the female boss negativity.I didn’t get anywhere with the job I mentioned that I was interested in as written in my last letter.  I called before sending my resume and found out it was filled by the time the ad hit the paper.  Recently, there was another job of interest with DEL MONTE CORPORATION in San Francisco.   I wouldn’t have minded the commute if the money was right.  I may have even enjoyed the change of scenery…but that one ended up being filled by someone within the company.  We’ll see….Now, how are things with you?  I’m really curious.  I know you have an extremely tight schedule and I told myself it’d be unrealistic to expect to hear from you much while you are working and taking classes all day and night…but I have to admit I miss you cards and calls.  I knew I would.  I had no idea how much I would miss hearing from you!   I’ll just have to look forward to the time your schedule loosens up.   Perhaps next Spring, Ha-ha.  Well, it can’t be helped, so just know you’re in my thoughts.  Keep working at your dram.  It is all coming together.
Postcard II:
Let me know when you are in town and ready to get out for some fun!   When that time comes you’d better not say, “So what”.  Ha-ha. I had an appointment at UC Medical Center in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago.  I was really taken by surprise when I discovered the panoramic views from their location.  I’d never been up in that area before.  I found the view so breathtaking.  I felt like throwing my arms out and literally embracing The City.  It was so gorgeous.I’m so glad its Friday!  It’s 6PM and I just left the office but need this time to myself before I begin the chores, errands, etc. that the next 24-hours will require.  My good thoughts are that my son’s team made it through the playoffs and is playing the final game for the Little League Championship tomorrow.  It will be exciting. I hope the weather is great!  Then I have the arrival of my brother tomorrow also.  I’m really looking forward to his visit.  I just hope he can stay a little while.  Last week was really busy.Love, Dorothy
I laughed at the sexy naked man card that my former Pac Bell Directory (in San Francisco) coworker sent me.  He is married and he loves to surprise me with his naughty cards.  What would his wife say?  I was surprised.  Reed wrote:

Dear Michael,This reminded me of YOU in some way!It made me think that it has been too long since I’ve really seen you.Thanks for the postcards and letters.I have a few trips planned for this year (1992):  A Cruise ship from Vancouver to San Francisco; a tour of New York City and Washington DC later.Best.Always, Reed Campbell
She sat down at her desk:  Study was supposed to ease pain, everyone said that.--Joan Juliet Buck, The Only Place To Be

You Are So Lucky

What makes me so special?  What is the difference between me and everyone else that justifies placing myself in this special category?  Am I more intelligent?  Do I enjoy my life more?  Are my accomplishments greater?  Do I have needs or abilities that are so different from the needs or abilities of others?  In short, what makes me so special?  Failing an answer, it turns out that Ethical Egoism is an arbitrary doctrine in the same way that racism is arbitrary.  And this, in addition to explaining why Ethical Egoism is unacceptable, also sheds some light on the question of why we should care for others.  We should care for the interest of other people for the same reason we care for our own interests, for their needs and desires are comparable to our own.--James Rachels, American philosopher
It’s working!  Ashley is writing more often.  She’s learning writing skills in school. She included a piece of art and reminded me that VALENTINE’s DAY is closely approaching.  Jan 22, 1992To:  Uncle MikeI miss you a lot.  Happy Valentine’s Day.I hope you got my letter.  I love you a lot.  I’m selling Girl Scout cookies.Ally’s going to be two years old.  Holly’s going to be four.Love, Ashley, Holly, Ally
Dorothy sent a couple of cute postcards again.  INDIA 19591-22-92I don’t even know how your holiday season went.   Were you back in L.A. by New Year’s Eve?  If so, did you go out and about with Alan, Rose or…?I finally saw PRINCE OF TIDES this past Friday evening.  You’re right!  Great movie!  There were so many meaningful scenes especially when Nick Nolte tells Barbra Streisand that it wasn’t that he loved his wife more than her…just longer.   And when his thoughts were voiced about LIFE not allowing him to share life with both the women he loves.   Sadness and acceptance makes you think… I saw the movie with Rosemarie.   She needed more tissue than I did.  Maybe because I’d already read the book and knew what was coming.  It’s one of the few movies that did a really good job of following the book.We went to dinner and had drinks later.  It was fun catching-up on each other’s dirt (and sharing laughter).  We even learned a little about our cute, young waiter.  He said, “I’d like to join the two of you if you ever decided to head to ROCKIN’ ROBINS in The City.”Ha-ha.  Yeah, I can just read the headlines in the newspapers:  SUBURBAN WIFE, MOTHER OF TWO and 26 YEAR OLD GUY STOPPED FOR DRUNKEN DRIVING:  HUSBAND DOES NOT KNOW GUY! Ha-ha.I saw this card with the entrepreneur on his tricycle and had a little chuckle.  As the years pass it’s encouraging to know that as long as you can pedal you won’t be without an income!  Just make sure I don’t see you with that haircut or those sandals!
ROSEANNE BARR and TOM ARNOLD, Malibu, CA, 1990
And what about Roseanne and company here; Jeez…reality is worse than one’s imagination sometimes.  It is motivation for some serious dieting I’m sure.Say, have you been reading the recent news articles on all of those silicone breast implants?  It’s scary stuff!  Aren’t you glad you don’t have any?  Ha-ha.  I seriously hope they pull that stuff off the market.I want to tell you how much I still enjoy the songs you sent; especially on those rare moments I have the house to myself.  I can play the tape on the stereo.  Good sound!  The only problem I’m having is sometimes several of my favorites play over and over in my head throughout the day!  And it is when I am least expecting the tunes to pop up.  Oh well, at least it is good music.I do hope all is well with you.  You’re in my thoughts.  Later.Love, Dorothy
I watched the SUPER BOWL with Alan at his apartment in Santa Monica’s SEA COLONY building.  I made my mom’s tuna sandwiches.  We had fun.  A couple of days later I received a letter from my sister in law, Sherri.   She wrote it on Super Bowl Sunday.  The Far Side comics card she sent made me laugh.
SUPERBOWL SUNDAY, 1-26-1992Dear Mike,Hi!  So how is life treating you down south?  I heard you went to the pool for a quick tan on Saturday (gag me!).  We all need tans but it is freezing!  The SUPER BOWL is just starting and, of course, I’m taping it for John.Ashley and Lauren spent the night at your mom’s house last night.  I haven’t heard from her today.  I hope she survived.  Ashley loves receiving your cards.  Holly, being the middle child, feels left out.  Can you relate?  Ashley has no school on Friday.  We might to up to the snow for a couple of days.  We won’t ski…just build snowmen.  Ashley says she wants to go to DISNEYLAND.Hopefully, you’ll be coming up here soon.That’s all that’s happening here.  Holly is napping, so I guess I’ll take advantage of that and lie down for a little rest myself.  First touchdown!  Take Care…we miss you.  Write soon. Love, Sherri and Family
Paloma sent a cool, colorful, artsy PARIS postcard.  She wrote:
…lately I’ve lost about 12-pounds.  Jacques Chirac has promised lots of things for FRANCE if he is elected.  The only thing he has done is increase taxes.  It only seems like things will get worse.  Can you imagine now if most of the world boycotts French products?  You are so lucky.I would love to go to Hawaii.  Kate Moss is okay but I like Johnny Depp better! I have to work a little bit now.  So, write me!  Love, Paloma                                 It was nice to learn that Paloma lost a few pounds but I doubt she needed to do so.  She has always had the perfect body.  One of the best things she ever did was quit smoking though.  I think I helped persuade her to do that.
She cupped her chin with her right hand, elbow on the bar, and allowed me to light ‘her cigarette’, which, in my opinion, was one of the most erotic acts of foreplay a man can perform for a woman.--Viet Thanh Nguyen, THE SYMPATHIZER, a novel

That Anxious Expression

She loved using “gentleman” to describe men; it also was less weighted with the sexual overtones contained in the word “man”.--Joan Juliet Buck, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE, a novel
Ashley sent the cutest letter.  I guess my words worked over Christmas when I asked Ashley and the girls, “Will you write to me, please?”

January 14, 1992For Uncle Mike,Thank you for the gift but you forgot to put 1992.I miss you a lot.  School is fun.  Mom goes to school, too.I Love You.  Kisses and Hugs, XOXO, Love, Ashley
And a day later Sherri wrote, too:
1-15-92Mike-Hi!  Thank you for my present and remembering me on my 27th Birthday.  Yes, 27!!!Of course I didn’t wait to open it.  Who does?I started school on Monday.  I like it so far.Did you get Ash’s letter?How’s school?  Talk to you later.Love,Sherri and FamilyP.S. Holly was upset when Ash got a letter and she didn’t.  You know those middle kids.
And of course my week wouldn’t be complete with a few funny postcards.  This time they were both from Dorothy Rua.
DINNER TIME ON THE FARM Dear Michael,Looks like it’s dinnertime on the farm or dinner time in Merced!Don’t get too excited though.  It looks like there’s enough for everyone.Love, D
January 20, 1992Hi Michael,Is this little guy on this postcard you with that anxious expression, waiting for the results of that Securities exam?  I hope it went well and that you can relax now at least for a while.  When do you get the results?  And when would you be heading east for training?  Am I thinking positive?  Of course.   This IS your year. By the look of this picture your thighs can use a little firming up.  So…a bit of exercise and you’ll be all set. Ha-ha.And stay away from that breast milk.   Too many calories…Ha-ha.Yeah, I’m full of it (trouble) today.  I feel like I’ve been in a coma the past couple of months.  I still feel like it.  I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe it’s the cold weather and lack of exercise.   Who knows?  I’m sure it’s more than that.  Maybe all I need for a little relief is more of that red nail polish on my fingers and toes.  Some RED RED WINE would probably make me feel fine, too!  Oh…and a couple of other things, too, I’m sure.  Ha. D-
There’s something about Dorothy’s handwritten words.   She builds my confidence.  Alan does too.  It’s a reminder of the meaning of my name, MICHAEL:  He who is like a KING.  I did it.  I passed the Securities Series 7 exam.  I am now licensed to sell stocks, bonds and what not.  What next?  
How can we not feel that we are strong?The nature of a conqueror, as you surely know, is to acquire whatever he wishes to acquire.-Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS

The Power Of One

The way I’ve always seen it was you have to look up to someone to be able to love them.  You’ve got to be convinced they’ve got something you don’t have, and it’s by going after that---magic, charisma, accomplishments---that you’re living up to your potential.   Everything else is just settling for what’s easy.--Joan Juliet Buck in her 1982 novel, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE
Barbara Reynolds sent a floral card that was actually from an original painting done in 1988 by Christina Rupsch.   Barbara wrote:
9 Jan 92HAPPY NEW YEARS MICHAEL!Thank you so much for the great postcards.  I shall appreciate them always.Any job news yet?  I’m still here.   Rene is still my manager and I’m still on the Intra-Company Desk with Earl Kirk.  The rumor was rampant in December about “earl retirement for non-management”.  An offer was to come in January but no news yet.  Major Accounts are now in the same branch as small business (beginning January 1st).  I’m sorry I didn’t get to L.A. before the Frieda exhibit left.  I’ll call it HOLI-DAZE.  How was yours?   Mine was ‘pretty okay’.  Next year will be better being Friday.  I was able to schedule the week after for vacation.  I guess you’ve been enjoying all of the RAIN.  We had some yesterday.  Ice this morning…had to put the heat on last night.I saw EUROPA EUROPA last Sunday.  Excellent!  I thought of you.  I need to see more movies, write more letters and eat less.  How about you?Love, Barbara
I guess I'll have to add EUROPA, EUROPA to my list to see what Barbara saw that made her think of 'me'.  I wonder.
Alan and I saw a fantastic film called THE POWER OF ONE.   We absolutely loved it.  I want to get the book now.   It was set in South Africa during World War II, the film centers on the life of Peter Philip 'Peekay or PK' Kenneth-Keith, an English South African boy raised under apartheid, and his conflicted relationships with a German pianist, a black boxing coach and an Afrikaner romantic interest.  The guy who played Peekay was acted by an actor named Steven Dorff.  I was really impressed by this young chap.
Alan agreed when we walked out of the theater by saying, “Boy, that was good!”
“To have a brain is not a sin, but to have a brain and not use it, that is a sin.”
-as heard while watching the 1992 dramatic motion picture, THE POWER OF ONE

I'm Too Sexy

…learning things gave a person advantage over other people.  If one wanted to continue living and if one wanted to ultimately prosper, then anything that could be learned, should be learned.   When a bigger, stronger opponent has landed the first blow, you have but one chance to swing back before you will be pummeled into clay, and you’d best come back with something unexpected.--Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS
The new year of 1992 is here.   BLACK OR WHITE by Michael Jackson is the number one song right now but I am enjoying “I’M TOO SEXY” by Right Said Fred much more.  It makes me want to ride my bike non-stop (which I have been doing along Santa Monica Beach).   It’s a nice bike path despite the sand that finds a way to get into my spokes.  As I ride my bike I get double-take looks.  I guess I’m too sexy—to some. Ha-ha.

The other song that’s pretty good right now is by GEORGE MICHAEL (many say I resemble G. Michael, but I don't always see it) and ELTON JOHN called DON’T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME.
My first personal correspondence of the year was from Dorothy Rua.   I loved the photo card of a young lad seated at his classroom desk.   The desk reminded me of the same desk I had in 7thgrade.  Cool photo card!  Here’s what Dorothy had to write:
Jan 4, 1992Happy New Year Michael!The beginning of another year is here.  What will it bring?   Sometimes I wish I knew ahead of time, and then I realize I really don’t want to know.   At least I don’t have to worry about unfulfilled NEW YEAR’s resolutions because I don’t make any!   I don’t know why but I feel that this will be a special and eventful year for you.  I hope it brings rainbows and all you’re hoping for!   Special people deserve wonderful things and you remain SPECIAL.
After numerous weeks/months without a private moment I find myself sitting and watching the waves splash against the rocky shore of SKATES Restaurant in Berkeley.   A storm is on its way and should be here by evening but it’s only overcast and quiet right now…peaceful.  Nothing soothes me like the ocean.  I wish I was near the emerald green water and palm trees I grew up with in Guam.  I guess I’ll have to settle for Berkeley and be glad I’m close enough to the coastline.   Sometimes I envy your access to warmer beaches and palm trees…someday.
I want to tell you how much I appreciated your surprise phone call the Sunday before Christmas…and a surprise it was!  I only wish I’d been more “awake”.  As I had mentioned, my daughter, Nicole, had been ill for a few days.  I hadn’t slept the previous two nights.  On top of that I had last minute Christmas things to get done, groceries to buy and an entire house to clear (before the in-laws arrived) that weekend while caring for Nicole.   Peter decided he was working that weekend.  So, by the time you called I was on automatic pilot.  I want you to know, though, you brought a much needed ray of sunshine when you called…as always.
I imagine you’re deep into preparation for you upcoming exam (which explains this studious card).  Just remember to bring your apple to class and you’ll be fine. Ha-ha.  I’ll gather all of my positive thoughts for you for the BIG DAY.  Is it on January 21st?  You’ll do great I’m sure.  I feel like talking to you.  Maybe I’ll get a chance to call sometime late next week.  We’ll see.Until Later,Love, Dorothy
Her words were RIGHT ON.   I’m focused on my studying of learning new things.  I was stressed with so much to learn.  I had all of my Series 7 and Series 63 studying to do.  Luckily, IDS-American Express was sponsoring me to take the exam so that I would be licensed to sell securities.   The exam is on January 21st and I will get me score immediately after taking it in Glendale, CA.   I’m confident because I am focusing on getting a GENERAL OVERVIEW of everything.  I know I don’t have to know the intricate details of every little thing.   I’m also registered for a six-hour lectured course near LAX-airport on tips on passing the exam.  I know that course will definitely give me the added boost I need to pass the exam.
The human mind, if dutifully, trained, should be able to perform anything we ask of it.  It is all just a matter of working hard.  If you have sentiments within you that are unpleasant or uncharitable, let them fall stillborn to the ground.   Become the master of yourself.   IMPROVE YOURSELF.
--Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS

Literally Dancing With Myself

There was a small clearing in the dancing crowd.  Michael began to dance, hoping to lose himself in that.  He felt foolish dancing alone, so he tried to dance with some of the bodies sawing and swaying around him.   –as read by Christopher Bram in his novel, IN MEMORY OF ANGEL CLARE
I decided to drive from Los Angeles to Alameda for Christmas.  I had my camera and I knew I’d get some great photos.  I had just received a photo or two that sis-in-law, Helen, sent of my brother, Tony, watering the girls (Lauren and Leigh) on a hot day in front of their home in Castro Valley, CA.


I pulled out a couple of Polaroid photos from the previous Christmas (both included Helen).  I received a few Christmas Cards before I left for the drive to Alameda: From Mom:

Dear Mike:  May the blessings of Christmas fill your home and heart all year through.From Mom…I’ll see you in a few days.  Love You!
Birda sent a couple of funny ones:  Reindeer trying to fly and a Parking Space available right in front of MACY’s…Ha-ha  On the Miracle On 34th Street card Birda wrote:  “Don’t laugh…it could be worth something."
Gloria Romero, a former Pac Bell Directory coworker sent a card, too.  She wrote:   

Michael, I think of you often.  I hope your New Year is a beautiful one.  I enjoy keeping in touch.  Love your Friend, Gloria
Now I was on a quest to take more memorable photos while at home.   The drive was relatively easy (only 5 ½ hours).  I stopped once in Buttonwillow (a rest stop) to pee.  I felt a little sad leaving Alan but we’ll have Christmas together next year (and/or maybe he will accompany me to Alameda next year, who knows?).  One thing is for sure:  Going to mom’s house brought all of us together.
Christmas Eve was fun.  Tony, Helen and the girls arrived first.   They were going to spend Christmas Day with Helen’s family.  I took plenty of photos.  It was a relaxed ‘family day’. 
On Christmas Day I took mom to see THE PRINCE OF TIDES.  I had read the book so it was a must-see.  I will have to see it with Alan along with FRIED GREEN TOMATOES.  I joked with mom, “How come you never made us fried green tomatoes.  Ha-ha…who knew they even existed?”
I had a great time.  I’m glad I went home for the Holidays.  Now I was geared up for the drive home.  As I was driving home the song by Billy Idol came on called DANCING WITH MYSELF.  I recalled going to The Vortex nightclub in Palo Alto (when I lived in Alameda) and literally dancing with myself to the alternative music I loved so much.  It made me get up, not caring what anyone thought.  It was like riding my bike on my own (Riding like the wind).  It made me smile.
Upon my arrival I was pleased to find a postcard from Alan:BED AND BREAKFAST INN BY THE SEA car of the Whale Watch Inn (where we stayed last year):Dec. 25, 1991Michael,MERRY CHRISTMAS!   Tonight I really want to be at the WHALE WATCH INN or any other place with you.  This has to be the last holiday we spend apart!   Enjoy the last day at home.  See you Friday and New Year’s.  Your Friend, AlanI laughed at the “Your Friend” part.
The shocking card was from my old fifty-something coworker, Reed, who is MARRIED and has two grown children.  He sent a picture of a naked guy via a fold-out centerfold type of card.  Whatever (?) Ha-ha…it was fun to look at—but I think I’d best COVER IT UP with my NIKON camera cap. 
Reed wrote:Hi Michael,Sorry to miss your open house.  I hope to see you over the Holidays.  Best, Reed.
And the best of all was a note from my nieces, Lauren and Ashley (making my visit worth it).  They wrote:
Dear Uncle Mike,How was your drive to L.A.?   I miss you a lot.  I LOVE you.  Thank you for the toys.Love, ASHLEY AND LAUREN
After she died and the railroad stopped runnin', the cafe shut down and everybody just scattered to the winds.  It was never more'n just a little knockabout place, but now that I look back on it, when that cafe closed, the heart of the town just stopped beatin'.  It's funny how a little place like this brought so many people together.--as heard while watching the 1991 film, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES

There's Always Much To Do and Accomplish

"Life is to be lived, not analyzed."-as read in the novel, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE by Joan Juliet Buck

Mom finally received the card I mailed her earlier this week.
"There must be a glut in the postal delivery," I said to mom.
She laughed, "You know it's Christmas."
I sent her a colorful card of an original watercolor done in 1991 by Elizabeth Ranelagh.  The title of the card is 'A GIFT'.  I wrote:

December 11, 1991
Dear Mom,
Here are the pictures you did not take with you.  I have copies so you can have these for your own album.  Here is a first;  one of the photographs is of all five of your granddaughters.  I think ALLY took the best picture.
About this card...well, Alan's mother, Gloria, knows I like cards and she handed it to me the other day.  You have to admit that it's quite colorful:
'A GIFT', Watercolor, 1991 by Elizabeth Ranelagh

I finally sent out all of my Holiday Cards today.  I sent a total of ninety card!  I didn't even know I knew that many people.  Five of the people I have not been in touch with for so long that their addresses may not be good any longer.

It's the 11th of December already, so I will see you for Christmas in about twelve to fourteen days I suppose.  I was just there, wasn't I?  Ha-ha.
Take Care---
Love You, Michael
After Dorothy Rua’s last Card I decided to create a cassette of songs for her that included favorite songs of mine.  I have only done this for very few (namely Alan and Paloma)…but I knew she’d appreciate it.  I included the specific tunes that I love and a few that I thought would spring some eyebrow rising for her.  I guess it worked from the words of her recent letter:
December 18, 1991Dear Michael,The much unexpected surprise arrived Saturday and I listened to the tape the first opportunity I had, which was Monday morning on the way to work.  It was my first day back and I was not wearing make-up because the laser treated area on my face was still too tender.  I mention this because as I was listening to the music, the songs, the words…tears slowly fell down my cheeks.   When I turned the tape recorder on I had no idea what to expect.  
Perhaps I felt your voice telling a story or sharing a few words of wisdom?  Or maybe it was just some of the latest popular tunes?  I know I wasn’t expecting to hear the songs you chose to send and the theme they shared. I can’t help wondering if the songs are some of y our favorites or you were hoping they’d be some of mind.  I don’t know if you sent the same selection to others OR if they were taped only for me.  I say this because many of the songs I hadn’t heard before but they are ME.   It is my taste, some of my feelings and if you know this, how do you know?   Whatever your reasons for sending this wonderful surprise I want you to know it means more than I can tell you and will be treasured always. I’ve listened to the songs quite often since Monday morning and several still bring tears to my eyes.  In particular, THE LAST NIGHT OF THE WORLD, PROMISE ME YOU’LL REMEMBER and JOY.   BLUE SAVANNAH and THAT SUMMER FEELING definitely offer important messages—not lost on me. When I found this card I couldn’t help thinking of you…the beach, etc.  It looks like a scene you might paint (perhaps different colors).  I can still visualize your painting of ANOTHER DOOR OPENS and how good it is.I saw CAPE FEAR recently and found the acting to be good, especially Robert DeNiro.  He played his part extremely well.   The movie itself, though, I found myself wanting.  I wanted to be sitting on the edge of my seat with FEAR…but I wasn’t.  I seemed to expect the sense as they approaches (except when DeNiro was dressed as the maid).   Who knows?  Maybe I went with expectations, which is never going to be satisfying.In-laws are headed this way for Christmas for a few days and then we’ll probably spend time in TAHOE after they leave.  I don’t know if this body is in-shape for the snowy slopes.  I guess it’s a little late to worry about it.  I won’t have a lot of time to exercise before then!Do you plan to visit your family for the holidays?  Have a truly wonderful CHRISTMAS wherever you decide to spend it.   And you know I want 1992 to be wonderful for you, too!Thank you again for surprising me with your wonderful gift.  I have BLUE SAVANNAH playing right now!As always…with warm thoughts of you…Love DorothyP.S. I love the beach and palm tree picture.Oh Michael…Here is the list of songs should “the tape” ever self-destruct, etc.!  Place it in the vault for your safekeeping.  Ha!  DJRThe songs:JOY by The Lightning SeedsTHE LAST NIGHT OF THE WORLD from Miss SaigonPromise Me You’ll Remember by Harry Connick Jr.Unforgettable by Natalie Cole (with Nat King Cole)Love Letters by K. LesterSomebody by Depeche ModeBlue Velvet by Isabella RosselliniMy Funny Valentine by Michelle PfeifferSentimental Walk from the DIVA movie soundtrackSecret by Orchestral Maneuvers in the DarkMoonglow by The Benny Goodman QuartetTHE PROMISE by When In RomeIN BETWEEN DAYS by The CureRed Red Wine by UB40Blue Savannah by ErasureThat Summer Feeling by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers A few days before (December 17th) I celebrated a night of Hanukkah with Alan and the girls (his daughters, Lauren and Carrie).   We opened presents and it was quite fun and festive for all of us.  
On December 20th Alan and I went to see the film FATHER OF THE BRIDE.  It was good for a few laughs.  We enjoyed it.  It’s a perfect Christmas film.  A father, played by actor STEVE MARTIN, finds himself reluctant to attend his eldest daughter’s wedding. 
The following day I received two Christmas Cards with letters that I didn’t expect.  One from the teacher in San Francisco, Pat Crowley, who I helped teach her 4thand 5th grader class one day a week while I participated in a THINK-WRITE program in combination with my company, Pacific Bell.  The other surprise card/letter was from ex-boyfriend flame, Chad.  Here they are:
December 23, 1991Dear Michael, To wish you all the happiness of the season and all the best in the New Year.
I want to THANK YOU for your card, note and greetings.  Yes, the faces are new in my classroom but they still are the greatest of students.  They are a real pleasure to be with.  It is hard to believe how two years have gone by.  It seems like only yesterday that you were teaching my students.I am glad you are still continuing to pursue your personal interests as a freelance graphic artist as well as with Financial Planning.I am still writing grants (team ones for five and six faculty members at a time, interpreting visual art into the core curriculum.  Our project was selected as an exemplary one this year.  I’m also giving workshops in the school district on Parliamentary Procedure in the classroom while developing a video.  I’m also taking piano lessons and golf…and dancing (which I LOVE).  There’s always much to do and accomplish…Fondly, Pat Crowley Now, Chad included a photo from his 32nd Birthday on December 16th of this year (1991).  He looked his usual preppy self.  He wrote:
December 23, 1991Michael,It was good to get your Xmas postcard.   Good luck on all of your upcoming exams.  Sorry I’ve been so remiss in my correspondence.I’d love to come and visit you.  It’s been too long.  
Hope you’re enjoying the holidays.It seems the only way we see each other is via pictures.  This one is suitable for darts.Have a terrific Holiday.  Always, Chad
I refrained from responding to his “I’d love to come and visit you” remark.  He hurt me too much and I don’t want to see him.  For now, I love the romantic energy I have with Alan now.  It is the very best.

Alan and I saw another film together this week.  It was JFK (obviously about John F Kennedy).  It starred Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman and Jack Lemmon.  Oliver Stone directed it.   It was about a New Orleans District Attorney named Jim Garrison who discovers that there is more to the Kennedy assassination than the official story.  Alan says, “It will be fifty or more years before we really know what happened.”I believe he is right.  The US government is known for keeping secrets until no one cares any longer.
That's the real question isn't it: WHY? The how and the who is just scenery for the public. Oswald, Ruby, Cuba, The Mafia, keeps 'em guessing like some kind of parlor game, prevents 'em from asking the most important question: WHY? WHY was Kennedy Killed? Who benefited? Who has the power to cover it up? Who? ---as heard during the 1991 motion picture, JFK

I'll Be Back

It was important for him to keep track of things.  While he knew that these pages would look appalling to any educated man, he also knew that nobody would ever see his writing---except…--Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS
Birda briefed me on a letter dated December 6thbut she didn’t mail it (per the postmark) until December 12th.  I imagined her trucking across the country.  It amazes me that I know one of the few women in this country that makes a living TRUCK DRIVING across country.  She is utterly amazing.  I was happy to see her during my most recent visit to mom.  I received her most recent letter the day that Alan and I went to see the new Warren Beatty movie called BUGSY.
Dec. 6, 1991Michael,How’s everything?  I’m at home (off work for 2-days).  I have 3-days ON and 4-days OFF and I LOVE IT (except I caught a cold).  So…I’m sitting her taping movies and wishing I could ride my bike which made me think about you again and how nice it was to be able to see you last Saturday.  We’re going to have to do it more often.Work is changing again.  I have three choices:1    1.  To work local which means I never leave over 100 miles from Richmond, CA (YUCK!)2    2.  Interstate…which means I’ll be gone for two weeks at a time and I will see a lot of TEXAS, ARIZONA, NEVADA and CALIFORNIA.OR3    3.  Extra Board..which means I’ll do EVERYTHING (probably a lot of Los Angeles). 
I think I’ll take the Extra Board.  This means I’ll be able to visit my friend in L.A. more (and no more IN AND OUT BURGERS).I better let you go.  I hope this gets to you with no bills and a good day.See You Soon,BIRDAP.S.  I’m ready for page 4 ½…are you?
Alan surprised me with an inspirational postcard of a photo of the New York Stock Exchange TRADING FLOOR.  He wrote:
Dec. 15th,MICHAEL,You’re busy taking test #5 and doing very well! I’m proud of you and I LOVE YOU a lot.  You’re the BEST, TRUEST friend I’ve ever had.  Just think in one moth we’ll be in HAWAII.I LOVE YOU.ALAN

And a day later another postcard from Alan.  This time he included a cool JOHN WAYNE stamp.  He remembered that I’m born the same day as JOHN WAYNE.  Cool.  The postcard depicted of two French friends walking about the Paris streets together, a drawing by Pablo Picasso:

Dec 16thMICHAEL,Remember PARIS…the first night or TOSSA DE MAR after pizza in our room…ORAUBERGE DU SOLEILE in the tub or the RITZ-CARLTON for high tea in New York City?The Village Restaurant?Resting in San Francisco (where you took me)…OR The CRAB COCKEROR LOUIS XIV…69, 69, 69, 69, 69…sooner or later.ALAN
And a wonderful Christmas Card arrived from BIRDA:
I’m not your insurance agent.I’m not your dentist.I don’t cut your hair. I don’t collect your garbage.I don’t repair your car.I’m not your accountant.This Christmas Card is from someone who just happens to LIKE YOU.
12-16-91Michael,Thank You.  The tape of music you sent is a perfect bike-riding tap.   It starts slow to prepare for the max jam.  Again…it couldn’t have been better timing.
I didn’t get to L.A. that week but I was there last week.  Only one problem about seeing you is that there were three drivers following me for four days.  I couldn’t shake them. 
There is a good side:   “I’ll be back.” 

And with any kind of unplanned luck I will be able to see you.I got your tape the day after a nightmare of a FRIDAY THE 13th.  It made my most depressed look into a HAPPY, SHINY person.
Thanks again.  I can’t wait to see you for Christmas.  You are going to make it, I hope because I’ not mailing your present.  I want to see you open it this year.  MERRY MERRY, LOVE ALWAYS, Birda
 “Everybody deserves a fresh start every once in a while.”
–Warren Beatty as BUGSY SIEGEL