Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 38

Mixed-Up

He often took a bath himself when he was depressed or wanted a long, deliberate wank—usually one and the same thing.He loved ART and SEX and FILMMAKING because he could lose himself in them.  SEX was fun and ROMANCE a lark and nothing was permanent but CHANGE.--Christopher Bram,IN MEMORY OF ANGEL CLARE, a novel
September 13, 1992Sunday, 10:20AM
Dear Paloma,No, I’m not in Tahoe again.  I just saved the stationery from the HARRAH’S CASINO HOTEL in Lake Tahoe from when I was recently there.
I just came from an early morning workout at the SPORTS CONNECTION in Santa Monica (my gym).   Then, I went to breakfast with Alan and his daughters (Lauren, age 12 and Carrie, age 8) along with his mother, Gloria and step-dad, Jack.  I am now home and wanted to write you to let you know that I received your last cash payment of $60.  Thanks.  That covers the postage and I still owe you one more pair of black jeans (size 36W 36L) for Alexandre.  I looked at stores yesterday but they either didn’t have the 36W 36L or no black.  I am still checking though.  Also, they cost $29 now.  I was lucky to get those four that I already send you for $24.95.  Oh well, I will keep looking for that last pair.  Have you received the other four pairs yet?Yes, LETHAL WEAPON III was pretty good.   I didn’t see BEETHOVEN, though.   And yes, I saw GREEN CARD.  I think I told you that already.  I love that movie. 
Oh, so Louis is coming to visit.  That should be nice.  He’s a nice guy.  He has a new gal named GOLDA, huh?   Do you remember BERNADETTE?  I remember when they were together for so long.  What ever happened to her?   Do you keep tabs with her?
Your mom sounds happy in SPAIN.  I would be, too.   I always thing about the SPANISH RIVIERA and that area called TOSSA DE MAR.  I love that area and would love to be there again…even ‘to live there’.
That’s funny that you other brother, Edouard, is in Albuquerque, NM now.  My mom and dad are both from New Mexico.   ARMIJO is a very common name in New Mexico.  It’s like “SMITH”.
I forgot that your dad moved to MADRID, SPAIN.   Why did he leave Paris?  I forgot the reason.  I’ve never been to MADRID.  I’ve only been to BARCELONA.  I want to go to LONDON.  I probably will do that next year.
A new movie just came out last Friday called SNEAKERS with Robert Redford, River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, etc.   It’s a very good movie.  I saw it last night with Alan and his daughters.  I highly recommend it.
Today, I have a Sunday afternoon outing with Kim Dykstra.   She is twenty-six years old and is moving-in to my old place in West Hollywood.   She is a coworker.  She’s ok but she is kind of a mixed-up gal.  We are going to grab a bite to eat and see HONEYMOON IN VEGAS, a new film with Nicholas Cage.  It should be interesting.   We are meeting in Westwood (near UCLA/and near our work location). Next Friday, September 18th, I am flying to Oakland for the weekend to visit mom, my nieces, brothers, etc.   And I will return Sunday, September 20th.   I’m lucky it’s only a 45-minute flight.
Work is going pretty well.  I am bringing in a lot of new accounts.  It is fun.  It is interesting to see what stocks people choose to buy.  I even have my own Brokerage Account now where I am currently trying to diversify between stocks, Certificates of Deposit, Treasuries, cash and Corporate Bonds.   One day my balance will look a lot prettier than it does today.  Are you ready to open an account?   At least it’s a great deal for you because you’d be TAX EXEMPT because of your Foreign Status.
Oh well, I am going to give my mom a phone call now, then get ready for my afternoon outing.
I will be in touch.  And I will keep you posted as to when I find Alexandre’s 36W 36L Black 501 jeans.  Maybe I will find them when I am in the Bay Area.Until Next Time,Love You, Michael
Alan’s mom, Gloria, sweetly sent me a postcard from Las Vegas during her visit there.  She travels with Jack while he is doing jewelry trade business.
September 15, 1992Hi.Everything is great.  I just finished my workout, steam room and hot tub…the whole bit.  I’m going to walk to the FASHION CENTER now.  We went to THE MIRAGE Buffet last night…not-so-great.  Tonight we will go to PAMLEMOUSSE.LOVE YOU, GLORIA.  ….Hi Alan, Hello, Hope all is well!  Love You, Mommy
After reading it aloud I said to Alan, “We should go to Vegas sometime.  One of my favorite movies is VIVA LAS VEGAS, you know!"
Ann-Margret:  I heard about your money, I'm sorry. Elvis: It's only money. Ann-Margret: Only money!  Do you realize how hard it is to earn money? Elvis: But I won it.--as heard watching VIVA LAS VEGAS, the 1964 Film

I Don't Feel Ready Enough

Taking care of yourself, you can support your loved one and reestablish the joy in your relationship.Sometimes we feel empty.  We don’t know the cause; it’s very vague.  There’s the deep thirst to be loved and to love.  In everyone there’s a continuous desire and expectation; deep inside, you still expect something better to happen.--Thich Nhat Hanh, HOW TO LOVE
I created a bookmark for Paloma.   It was an image of a guy in short red football pants.  I actually bought a white pair for myself for bike riding.  It’s great for the long rides.  I hope Paloma likes the bookmark.   I am so excited for the forthcoming 5 night escape to New York City with Alan.  We depart on September 3rd.
I used my ‘success begins with a dream’ notepad to jot a few lines to Paloma the day before we left for New York:
Sept. 2, 1992Dear Paloma,I got a girl I know from work (KIM DYKSTRA) to lease my condo in West Hollywood at 1010 N. Palm Ave for a year.   So that’s good news.  The only problem is moving a lot of my stuff that is still there. I just finished packaging your 501 LEVI jeans.  You should be getting them soon.   I’ll try and mail them tomorrow.  I am still in search of the one pair I didn’t find (of the five that you requested).
I love the movie GREEN CARD.  Yes, I saw it again recently too.  I can’t help but think of you when I see it…and what might have been…There’s no new love in my life.  It’s just a matter of taking care of myself and trying to increase my wealth, pay-off some of the damn bills.  I’m not really in search of romance these days anyway.  I miss you.  I’ll write more soon…at least a postcard from NYC.   Anyway…Love, Michael
Oh…I’m also sorry I haven’t made time to write.  It’s tough getting up at 6AM and being at work at 7AM…but getting out at 3:30pm is very nice.  I’ve been meaning to send this bookmark to you.  Enjoy.  I miss you.Regards to Alexandre and Jonathan.  Love, MichaelP.S.  Do you like Jean Claude Van Damme?  He’s in a new movie here called UNIVERSAL SOLDIER.  He reminded me that I need to go back to the gym.  Have you been working-out at all?  You used to be so good at going regularly.  Later, Love, Michael
I don’t know why I have not told Paloma about my romance with Alan.  Perhaps I don’t feel ready enough.  I’m afraid it will not last—as has seemed to happen in the past.  I will tell her once I know our relationship becomes more cemented. 
A couple of days later I was in New York City and I found a sunset with the Manhattan skyline in the form of a postcard.  I chose that one for Paloma:
9-5-92Dear Paloma,I’m here in NYC and I do enjoy the eating, walking, shopping and relaxing.  I was lucky.  I found your 501 LEVI’s on sale for $25 again.   I’ll be in NY until September 7th.   Then it will be back to work.  I like it in NYC.  There are so many people of all types.   I miss you.Love, Michael
I found a river scenic postcard for mom:

9-5-92Hi Virginia,Guess what?   Tomorrow is your BIRTHDAY!  I haven’t found that MANHATTAN NEW YORK T-Shirt for you (similar to the one I have).  I will keep looking.  I am excited about your retirement.  I am so glad you were FIRM with your tenants and you got your way!  I will see and/or talk to you soon.   Lots of Love, Michael Joe
Before I left L.A. I sent mom a Birthday Card signed by myself and Alan with a cake plate gift:  September 6, 1992Hi Mom,We (ALAN and I) picked this out for you when we were in LAKE TAHOE.  I can’t wait to see what’s on it when I come home.  Yummy.  Ha-ha.Enjoy.  Love, MichaelHAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Enjoy thoughts of your retirement.   Soon! Love, Alan
And of course I sent mom another doll for her collection (a miniature baby doll in crib): Sept. 6, 1992Dear Mom, I hope you like this.  I couldn’t resist.   I figured you’d like this one since it is quiet and doesn’t cry.   I found it at an Antique Store in Los Angeles, so it’s a definite collectors’ item.  You won’t find another one like it very easily.  Happy Birthday.  Love, Michael
I knew the New York City escape would be wonderful.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  My condo is leased for a year.  I’m living with Alan now (near the beach).  My work week will start again soon.  I’m helping a lot of people.  I sometimes wonder—though—what will happen next.  There always seems to be something new and unexpected that pops up.
People themselves determined the course of their lives and were the only masters of their destinies.  That is why every man was important, and why it was crucial that each knew what to do and what to aim for.   An individual might think his actions were of no importance, but that was an illusion.  His actions, like those of innumerable others, formed a great pattern which could only be discerned by those at the summit of society. --Jerzy Kosinski, THE PAINTED BIRD

Wishes For More Improvement

“I think he’s too fussy.”--as heard while watching the 2017 film, PHANTOM THREAD
I loved the girl with the umbrella periodical pictorial that Paloma sent me from a Martinique magazine.   It was included with her recent letter:
25/08/92Hello Michael,That was pretty smart to write you on a postcard that I was planning to send you some money (in my next letter).   I hope you neighbors don’t read your postcards!Here are a few bucks as a test (and they are not for your next trip to Hawaii).   It’s for my 501 jeans!   We would like—if it’s not too much of a bother for you, of course, to buy five pair of 501’s (maybe even six pair…I’ll tell you in my next letter).  3-for Alexandre:  W36 L36, two blue ones and one black one.2-for me W30L34, one black and one blue.   Forget about the sixth one; five is enough for a while.  It’s enough until we hopefully go to the states.  We don’t know yet but next winter we are kind of thinking of going to the Mauritius Island.  Please—for the jeans—send me the hard kind; you know the ones that have never been washed that almost look like cardboard.   Also please tell me the price so I can send you the right amount of money.  I, also, of course will send you some money for the postage.   I will stop writing now.  I’ll send you another letter with some money in a few days.  Thank you.Love, Paloma
Dear Michael,Here are a few more bucks for you weekend (just kidding).  It’s for the 501 jeans!I saw L’ARME FATALE III (LETHAL WEAPON III).   It was ok.  I’ve also seen BEETHOVEN with Jonathan.  That’s not really my type of movie.  I also watched GREEN CARD again on TV.  I really like that movie.  Have you seen it?  I think we talked about it a long time ago. 
Any good movies to recommend? How is the job going?No new love in your life?  I know how hard it is after me!  Uh, uh, uh!I can’t write anymore.  It’s very hard to concentrate with Jonathan next to me, telling me about his GHOSTBUSTERS.The picture in this letter is just to hide the money and because they’ve been taken in Martinique which is the island right next to Guadeloupe where we visited last winter.   Write me.  Love you—Miss you,Paloma
31/08/92Michael,This is the last time I’m send you some money.  You really are costing me too much.  Ah, ah, ah!I hope, by now, you’ve got my two other letters.  Now I’ll wait for you to tell me how much you’ve paid for our jeans.   This way I’ll send you some more money if you didn’t have enough.  Next weekend my brother, Louis, is coming with his girlfriend, Golda, for his holidays.  I hope you’ll see your mom more often if she retires.  I used to see my mom more often before she retired.  Now that she is retired she lives in SPAIN most of the time.  She lives with a Spanish man named Antonio.  I’m glad for her.  She is happy there, going to the beach almost every day.  She is better there than in Paris.  She is so well there that this year I’ve seen her just twice: in February (when my brother came from the States) and in June (for Jonathan’s Birthday).   She might come now in September.  We are kind of a weird family.  Right now I have a brother in Paris, the other one in Albuquerque, New Mexico, my mom in Benidorm, SPAIN and my dad in Madrid, SPAIN.  We’re just spread all over the world!   My father is married with a French woman.  My mother is with a Spanish man.  My brother is with an American woman.  We are an International Family.  What a mess if there is a war between these three countries!  Do you know that you can write me, too, dear Michael?  You are NOT telling me what you are doing anymore.  I miss that.  And I miss you, too.I’ll write again soon.Love, Paloma
Barbara Reynolds sent a postcard postmarked from Oakland of an image by Alfred Stieglitz b. 1864 d. 1946 of THE COACH: 
27 Aug 92Dear Michael,As of this moment I am on vacation until 9/8, the day after LABOR DAY.Are you still going to New York?   I am being busy at play and work…and I’m excited that my transfer has been approved.  I will begin the new job on September 28th—unless I’m released sooner.  I’m looking forward to eight extra hours a weekend, saving a few dollars to use more productively.  The Deaf and Disabled Office that I will be working are non-union also.  I hope to hear from you sooner or later.  I enjoy our contact.Oh yes…also tonight I will have my 15th Anniversary Dinner with Rene and Charles at the GINGERBREAD HOUSSE.  I’m getting hungry.Love, Barbara
And Dorothy is still in wonderland from the latest two cards she has written.  I wish she would find more happiness.  I detect that she wishes for change; actually I should say she wishes for MORE IMPROVEMENT. Whenever I see the word ‘change’ I cross it out and write-in ‘improvement’ instead. 
8-28-92Dear Michael, Yes, we should both be under an umbrella on the beach in Malibu (or any beach) with wine, good conversation and lots of laughter.   Watching the sun set with you with the waves crashing and the wind whipping the palm trees on a sultry night would be wonderful, too!I do so love the Malibu beach card.  I’ve even picked the spot on the hill where I want to live.  It is level, yet surrounded by greenery and has a fantastic view of the ocean.  Love to be right on the beach except I’d always worry about the next storm.  It’s my safe, conservative side.I appreciate your words of encouragement regarding the job interview situation.  I found out that no matter how wonderful an available job with PTMS may be my new manager will not approve a transfer because he wouldn’t be able to replace anyone in the department.   I guess he’ll find out what real problems are when people start moving outside the company.  He’ll have to answer to his superiors for the loss.   This is his first management job so he has a lot to learn.  On a different level, sometimes I wonder about him.   He’d only been around a couple of weeks when he stopped by my desk one evening.   I was working late and he spilled his guts about his private life and how the women his age (he’s 32 or so) were shallow, with their values in the wrong place.  What did he want from me?   Advice?  I don’t give advice unless I’m asked, and even then I’m hesitant.  Plus, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that most women have a hard time getting excited by a guy that looks and acts like a 60-year old auditor!   I mean, you can get beyond the reflection in the mirror if there’s a little “pizazz” in the personality, right?   Maybe he’s rethinking his approach.   Last Friday he took a ready hot number (the 43-year old Controller’s secretary) for a 2-hour lunch!On to the next card from Dorothy…
I love the title of this card, don’t you (WHISPER OF THE NIGHT WIND) It makes a great title for a book, so mysterious.  Both of these cards make me feel so “at one’ with the earth, reminds me how powerless we all really are at times.

8-30-92Michael, there’s never enough time to finish what I start.  Let’s hope I get this in the mail today and to your door before you board for NYC!I’m trying to decide what direction I want to go job-wise.  There may be an opportunity coming up with AT&T in Pleasanton.   The job is similar except that there may be opportunities to learn and expand a little more.  The corporate B.S. would still be very much a part of the scene and the commute would be even longer.   The other opportunity may be in Mortgage Banking with a very short commute.   All of the problems that the industry had (when I left) still exist but that’s where my interests lie.   I guess I’ll need to check them both out further. At least I’ve made the decision to make a change.  And you are RIGHT…another door always opens, especially if one’s hand is on the doorknob!  It reminds me of your painting which I’ve never really seen (except in the picture you sent).  I love it—and of course the title is great.  While we are on the subject…be sure my name is at the top of the list for that painting should you ever be able to part with it.  I’m glad you liked the HIGHEST SWING card that I sent you.  It was so ‘me’ and it was so ‘you’.  I couldn’t resist buying and sending it.  Just keep swinging…higher and higher!  It’s such a wonderful feeling!So, what’s on the agenda for this NYC trip?  I hope to get a card.   Do have your usual fun time!   Can you believe the low air fares these days?  It’s only $49 round trip to Los Angeles—ever so tempting.Till Later,
Love, Dorothy
Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person.--Thich Nhat Hanh, HOW TO LOVE

Ah Sweetness!

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” --Aristotle
My place of work at the Westwood Charles Schwab branch is going through a remodel.  I’m so excited because my workspace will be more private for when I meet with my customers.  I cannot wait until the remodel is completed.  It’s important that our clients feel a level of privacy when discussing their finances.  It should be done soon.
I liked the postcard Paloma sent me.  The image depicted the unique knife she sent me: Le 21 August 1992Dear Michael, I don’t wear a 36-inch waist jean!  Thank you sweetheart…Love you too!   And I’ll never talk to you again!   Please tell me the price of the 501 jeans so I can tell you how many I want (4 or 5) and the sizes (and send you the money).   I’ll start sending you some money in my next letter.  I don’t want to send it all at once in case the letter gets lost!Thank You.  Love, Paloma
After a phone call with mom I had to jot a postcard of MALIBU that I had been saving:
Aug. 22, 1992Dear Mom,I can’t believe you already opened your Birthday presents (before your day, September 6th).  Oh well…I’m glad you liked the gifts.Did you name the baby (doll) yet?  Let me know what you named it.  If you haven’t, think of a name.I am going to review your retirement plan and make a list of questions.  You do need to retire and the BEST recommendation I could give you if you do retire is to put SOLOMON LANE up for sale.   We’ll talk more later on that subject.  I’ll see you on September 18th.Are you going to be off on that Friday, September 18th?Love, Michael
Ah Sweetness!  Julie Waller, the beautiful Vietnamese girl, from high-school is now married but I found this letter today that she had sent me before she got married.  It was nice to re-read it a year or so later:
Dear Michael,Well, can you guess who I have been wanting to write to…so, here I am.  I am now living with my boyfriend.  He’s wonderful, sensitive, intelligent and older.  Marriage is a possibility for next September.  We are sort of planning it…tentatively.  I’m waiting for my ring.I hope all goes well with you.   Sorry I haven’t kept in touch sooner.  I am going to L.A. in January 1991 with a couple of friends to shop.  Should we meet then?  Are you still taking a screenwriting class?  Are you dating?   I am just reaching the peak of the better time in my life.   Work is going good.  I like my job a lot.  I’m still at the Front Desk.  I just purchased the most extravagant toy:  a BMW 325E.   Needless to say, I absolutely love it.  You have to come up to visit.  Soon, ok?Write back toon and tell me all about you.  What have you been up to?  I’m leaving for Boston in one week to meet his parents.  I’m looking forward to seeing the New England area in the Fall.  I’ve got to go.  Take care, Love, JulieHere is my address in San Anselmo.
I’ve had so many girlfriends in my life.  Sometimes I miss them all for different reasons.
“It’s difficult, isn’t it?  For people like us, to find someone who understands and can live with who we really are, without judgment, without trying to make us conform to their own preconceived notions of life.” --Taylor Stevens, THE INFORMATIONIST

We Don't Play Games

He had learned in the past four years to speak only when he knew that which he was speaking about.   Moreover, he had learned that silence can sometimes relax a listener into thinking that one might be intelligent.--Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS
I was writing to Paloma on the very day she was writing me on August 12, 1992.  My words were few (on a postcard) but it’s the thought that counts (and I had recently sent a parcel of goodies).  She gave a somewhat complete update that was supposed to last until early 1993:
Le 8/12/92Dear Michael,Thank you for the T-shirts.  They will look good on our tan pretty soon.Our holidays are starting on Saturday, the 12th (until February the 15th, I think).   That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?  The 22nd of December we are leaving for MADRID, SPAIN for Christmas and New Year’s Eve with my dad and my mom (not at the same time, of course) and my brother Edouard (he is coming on the 30th from Albuquerque).  Louis is the only one who won’t be there.  He has to work.
We are coming back to Balaruc Les Bains on the 2nd of January and we are going to PARIS on the 4th and 5th.  Our plane will leave from PARIS to the REUNION ISLAND on the 7th.  We will be there on the 8th after a 14 hour flight (with one stop in DJIBOUTI).   We will stay there until the 11th and then we are taking another plane (for only about half an hour) to the MAURITIUS ISLAND.   We will stay on the island until February 4th, then back to the REUNION ISLAND and back to PARIS where we will stay a couple of days to see my brother, Louis.  My dad will take Jonathan to EURODISNEY.
How does it sound?   I’m pretty happy about our plans, especially given that our company paid for our plane ticket.   They owed us some money because of all the holidays and Sundays that we’ve worked.  So we made an agreement.   They say GOD made paradise by copying the MAURITIUS ISLAND.  It sounds like something I might like. I don’t know the serial you were telling me about called DARK SHADOWS.  I don’t think so, at least, since they change the titles often.  I don’t remember any serial with a vampire but we had THE ADDAMS FAMILY.
The French company that has pretty much always been growing is CLUB MED but I don’t know much about that.My relationship with Alexandre is going fine.  We will celebrate our 7th Anniversary in March.   Time flies!   We, of course, fight a lot.  I don’t think a relationship can be possible without fights…especially when we are together all day long.   So we argue a lot about work things.  We don’t always think the same way.  We scream a lot but that’s no big deal.   The last time was last week when he crashed our new car (nothing really important; they are fixing it at the garage now).  He came back home, screaming.   That’s what he does to avoid me from screaming at him.  I know him quite well.  We don’t play games with each other anymore but it is also exhausting.  
I think somewhere I have done it the right way.  I’ve enjoyed being single for a few years.   I’ve had a lot of fun but I was tired of my party life.  I’m happy now with my family.  The only thing I miss is going out with you.  We’ve had so much fun.
Thanksgiving is not celebrated at all in France.   French people don’t even know what it is.  I miss pumpkin pies.   We don’t have Halloween either but we have MARDI GRAS in February.   It’s kind of the same for kids but it’s not very celebrated.   We eat crepes.
I would love to go to NEW MEXICO.  I love Indian jewelry with turquoise but we didn’t choose to go there this year because my brother told me it’s really cold in the winter time.  We will try to go there when the weather is nice.   We don’t know when yet.  When we do go to Albuquerque we will probably go to Los Angeles to visit you, too.   The problem is Jonathan won’t be able to miss school anymore next year.
My dad did not move to MADRID.  He still lives in PARIS but he bought an apartment in MADRID and now that they are both retired they go there pretty often.  That’s where we stayed the last time we went to MADRID (2 years ago).   That’s where we’re going to stay this year.
You didn’t tell me that you have a nephew!  How could you forget that?  I bet you’re all very happy after all these girls.  I like the name DYLAN.  I think it sounds great.  In fact, I like names finishing in “AN”. 
What’s wrong with my age sweetheart?   Nothing!  I AM VERY YOUNG.   Why do you want to make me look younger than my age?  You know how young ‘34’ is, don’t you?   Just remember May 26this coming.  Also, just think about all the years of work left (almost the same amount of years that we’ve already lived.   I’m tired just thinking about that!
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR…I don’t know what to send you.  I can’t think of something French you would like.   I could send you some perfume but I don’t know your taste.  It’s too difficult.  It is forbidden to send wine to the States.  I tried to send Bonnie some Champagne for her wedding.  So I’ll send you a T-shirt or something from PARIS or the MAURITIUS ISLAND.   This is our address in the MAURITIUS ISLAND (we are renting an apartment):Paloma Alquier c/o Dr. R Wong Sui ChongRoute RoyalePereybere, Grand BaieILE MAURICEDo be careful with the mail as it probably takes a while to get there.  You can just write to BALARUC LES BAINS.  I will find my mail when I come back.  I will send you some cards.Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to your family, too.Love You, PalomaI’m sending you a picture of me, trying on my new shoes.  Nice, aren’t they?
1900 Photo of THE CLIFF HOUSE and SEAL ROCKS, San Francisco
8-12-92Dear Paloma,Just a note to THANK YOU for thinking of me and sending me the knife.  I noticed the MICHAEL engraving, too.   Very nice!   I LOVE IT.  I haven’t priced around for 501 LEVI’s yet.  Of course, I will get you another pair.   What size do you wear now?   I’m sure it’s at least a 36 inch waist by now.  Ha-ha.  Just kidding.I’ll write again.Love, Michael
And then a stream of mail from Dorothy Rua arrived this week.  I will need to write back to her, too.
Postcard I:  TEARS Photo from 1933-1934 by MAN RAY
8-13-92Dear Michael,It’s nearly two weeks since your (our) visit.   It’s too long a time to let pass without a card.  I was really glad we were able to get together.  We should do it more than once every three years!   As I expected, you looked great and L.A. has not spoiled you (unless you know things I couldn’t pick up on, Ha-ha).   It’s just my “gut feeling” which I generally trust.
I was so intent on finding out more about the things going on in your life.  I forgot to share the info Tonee gave me about your friends at the SMART RESOURCE CENTER (Pac Bell Yellow Pages).   Do you remember Sheila Schultz?   Well, she requested and made a move from the so-called “sales” department to “customer service”.  She must have finally gotten fed up with all of those PAINTING CONTRACTORS showing up on the computer!On a sad note, Carol Eddy’s husband took his life and left her with three kids.   Since then, she met a guy who was separated from his wife (and not yet divorced).  Carol’s plan is to sell her home and use the money to finance his divorce!   So goes life at the SRC-SMART RESOURCE CENTER.
Postcard I: UNTITLED, 1981 Photo by JERRY N UELSMANN
8-15-92Well, as I mentioned while you were here.  I applied for a MARKETING POSITION with PTMS and finally got an interview this past Friday.  I felt good about it except that three days prior I learned that the Marketing Manager found someone (actually two people) with just the right qualifications and had already made up his mind on one of them.  He still had to go through the interviews though.  If nothing else, the process mobilized me and I’ve made the decision to actively search for a better job.  It’s so easy to allow yourself to stay in a rut.  Job opportunities are slim right now but nothing will happen for sure if I DO NOTHING.  We’ll see…Have they finished the new and improved work areas in your office yet?   If you’re allowed more privacy you’ll have to be more careful of those “RICH OLD LADIES” behind those walls.  Ha-ha.
Postcard III:  “My Swing Was The Highest Swing In The World.”
8-18-92The question is:   Will I ever get this in the mail? Friday evening, Rosemarie and I went to a movie and spent several hours at dinner, talking, laughing and talking and laughing some more.  We wanted to see PRELUDE TO A KISS but it wasn’t showing anywhere we wanted to go, so we ended up seeing SINGLE WHITE FEMALE.  It was okay but I thought it was a little too gory.  I got frustrated with the lead lady.  First, how could she ever trust her fiancé again after she found out about the ex-wife episode?   Second, she was way too naïve when it came to the roommate.  Have you seen the movie?   What did you think of it?I was going to ask where your next rip is, and then I remembered, you’re headed to New York City again for Labor Day, right?   One of these days you’re going to tell me you’ve accepted a job on the East Coast!   What a change that would be, huh?   Miss you…miss your cards.As Always, Love, Dorothy
And by the end of the week I had to laugh at the cheap CLARIDGE MOTOR INN postcard that former coworker, Reed Campbell, sent to me from RHINELANDER, Wisconsin (of all places):
8-17-92Hi Michael,Just a quick note…We are here for a family wedding and to celebrate our 25thAnniversary.    It’s been hectic and all I have to show for it is SORE FEET from dancing (and a very bad cold I picked up).  I will be home in San Francisco on the 18th, so if and when you get up to SF again let’s get together. Best, Always, Reed He inserted STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT into the cassette player, removed it and checked it for dust, then inserted it anew and clicked on the machine.“Yes,” he muttered, “indeed.”“I long ago learned that nothing really very interesting was going to happen to me, so I decided to spend time with people who interested me, and make money out of them.  My needs are simple:  Some good conversation, occasional sex, decent food.  That suffices.”--Joan Juliet Buck, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE

Used To Be My Playground

“There’s a lot inside you that will never show up on these pages.”--Taylor Stevens, THE INNOCENT
Photo:  Michael J Armijo, Lake Tahoe,photographed by Alan Freiman Work at Charles Schwab and Co. in the Westwood Branch (near UCLA) is becoming more comfortable.  I am enjoying it more and more each day.  I like opening new accounts and getting to know a new client that happens to walk-in.  I especially like when I help them to complete the application and learn of their profession.  I am skeptical of the ones that always write SELF-EMPLOYED. 
When they write SELF-EMPLOYED I always ask, “What industry are you in?” Recently, actor James Brolin walked-in.    He inquired about opening an account and I explained the details and he took the paperwork.   I was thinking that maybe he didn’t make enough money when he was on MARCUS WELBY MD.  Ha-ha…well, I guess he wasn’t Dr. Welby, was he?  Ha-ha.  Who knows if he’ll ever return to the office?
The following day I received one last card from Alan while he was in Hawaii (on August 6th).   That was a nice surprise.  It was a BELL OF THE USS ARIZONA postcard of two US NAVY sailors, standing at attention before the ship’s bell.  Alan wrote:
Michael,You missed seeing these sailors at PEARL HARBOR.  Your types?  It was very sad to see PEARL HARBOR and imagine what happened there in 1941.   After the fireworks we ate at CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN.Love You, Miss You, ALAN
I was feeling a bit down and out with my dad’s birthday coming on August 8th.  Alan knew it, so he arranged a weekend getaway.   We’d pop-in to see my mom in Alameda after we flew into Oakland and then escape to LAKE TAHOE for the weekend.   I always remember that lake being so ‘true blue’.
It seems MADONNA has another hit on her hands.  It’s called THIS USED TO BE MY PLAYGROUND.   I like the tune.  I especially liked it when Alan and I drove from the Oakland Airport and along the Harbor Bay Parkway, Island Drive and Shoreline Drive because that literally “used to be my playground” as I’d ride those roads for hours and hours on my BIANCHI BIKE.   Birda can relate.  I must write to Birda again.  She’s the best bike riding partner.
While in Lake Tahoe I wrote postcards.  I wrote to mom and another to Alan for him to read when we return to Los Angeles.TO MOM: 8-9-92,Dear Mom, Yes, yesterday was Dad’s Birthday.  I still remember the time you and I went and bought him a cake with “52” candles on it.  He was so happy when he saw that.  Do you remember?Just think…when you retire this could be you on the beach, reading your Danielle Steele book. Ha-ha!I’m so happy that you’ll be able to retire.  You deserve it after sorting all of those letters for the post-office for all of these years.  We will have to talk more about it.  I love you so much.  Don’t be scared about retiring—it will ALL be ok!  Love, Michael
TO ALAN:8-9-92 Dear Alan,I’ll never forget how you hiked up that hill with me yesterday (on August 8th, my Dad’s Birthday).  It was a good workout that we both needed.   I intend to start working out daily at the gym.  I’m tired of feeling like a FAT OAF and eating things like TIRAMISU! I love going on trips with you.  This is EMERALD BAY and my birthstone is EMERALD.  Did you know that?  What?  Something you didn’t know about me…WOW!Love You Lots,MichaelThis postcard is from TRUCKEE.  And the stamp on this postcard is my favorite Olympics stamp.  Now let’s play volleyball in Marina Del Rey!
“Once you know the other person’s inner self, both of you can be that much closer.”--Naoki Higashida, THE REASON I JUMP

Unbuttoned

“Nobody looks at a Japanese tourist.”--Robert Saviano, GOMMORAH
My Alameda visit seemed to go by so very quickly.  I had fun and it was great to see mom and the nieces.   It all goes by so quickly.   It felt nice to find three Hawaiian postcards waiting for me when I arrived back to Santa Monica though.   I somehow wished I was in Hawaii now, too.  I wonder if they are running into a lot of Japanese tourists.  From Alan:
Michael,So far we’ve 1   1.  Had Chinese food     2.  Swam to the beach     3.  Walked to the Moana Hotel     4.  Had sushi     5.  Shopped at the Mall.Tonight we are going to the Moana for a drink and barbeque.  Do you remember when we got away and walked through the International Market?    We miss you and can’t accept the fact that you’re not here.Love, Alan, Lauren and Carrie
From Lauren:
Mike,I miss you.  My titties are getting bigger every day.  You should be here.   We’re staying in the rainbow tower.  I LOVE the beach here.Love Big Titties, (Lauren)
From Carrie: Dear Michael:How are you?  I am great.  The beach is so fun.   We are in the Rainbow Tower.   The Pina Colada is so good.  I miss you.Love, Carrie
And another postcard from Alan titled UNBUTTONED arrived when I returned from work the following day.   I had to laugh:
July 30, 1992Michael,Picture this…wearing boots, too!   This is what I’ve been dreaming of for days!  I have NOT only been dreaming of you.  
I’ve been thinking of how lucky I am that you look so good in those cutoffs.I Love You, Alan
And after a couple of days I had another Hawaiian postcard from the Kahala Hilton from Alan along with a cute postcard from my niece, Ashley:
7/30/92Michael,Today (after Hanauma Bay) we ate lunch at this hotel.  The view was magnificent.  The food was great.  It somehow reminded me of Joey Bishop’s house.  We must go here next time.  The kids loved it.Love, Alan
Ashley was away at Summer Camp and her card was postmarked STOCKTON, California.
Dear Uncle Mike,How are you doing?  I met three people:  Lindsey, Liz and Katherine.I miss you.They have a swimming pool here.I love you.Oh…and mom, dad, Holly and Ally…I miss them, too.Love, Ashley

Yes, I was lonesome but I knew it wouldn’t be for very long.  It was summer and it was nice to simply be unbuttoned and take a resftul nap.  Sometimes a lonely spell is good for the mind—as long as it doesn’t last for too long.  If it does last for too long it’s time to join a book club.  Ha-ha.
You must NOT be alone, for to be alone is to be full of fears and alarms.--Bram Stoker,  DRACULA

I'm Far From Perfect

Feeling one’s own pulse, as meditation teachers call this practice, that is recognizing and measuring one’s own momentary situation, state of health, the distribution of one’s energies, one’s hopes and cares---in a word, seeing oneself and one’s daily work objectively and carrying nothing unresolved on into the night and the next day.-words included in a CONDUCTOR OF MUSIC greeting card by Robyn Lee
Alan found an innovative card for me of a sexy, shirtless guy that he left me before he departed on his tropical escape.   The card made me smile but his handwritten words made me laugh even more.  He’s too sweet for words…he’s leaving for Hawaii with his daughters and I’ll have a weekend escape to Alameda soon.
7/26/92 Michael, Instead of finding someone like this, you have him!   I’m all yours!  Denmark soon! Hi!   I miss you so much already.  Have a good quiet rest…but remember I love you.  I wish I could detail this summer’s activities.  What I want you to know is how great it has been for me.  The best ever!   Better than Europe or last year…why (?)….because we ‘live together’ and ‘stay together’.  I must admit I’m far from perfect but I do try to PLEASE you.  Give me about six months and I’ll look like him.  How do you like TYSON FOODS?  Great!Enjoy Alameda, Love, ALAN
Paloma sent a few postcards of the LE HAUTS DE BALARUC resort where she works.  Her letter arrived just in time before my departure for Alameda:
Le 27/07/92Dear Michael,Thank you for the RAISINETTES.  Too bad I wasn’t alone when I got them.   Everybody loved them.  I’m planning to become the French importer of Raisinettes.   When I said I missed them I didn’t mean for you to send me some (you mean thing!).  But I’m glad you did!   Do you know how much I miss CORVETTES?   (You never know!) (Any color!).We have our new car, the OPEL VECTRA; it’s really cool with all kinds of electric things and a mirror with light to control my beauty (not like in yours to control my shoes!).  I will send you a picture as soon as I have one.  Now I’m sending you a few pictures of the RESIDENCE but it has changed a lot.  We now have a restaurant where I made a cross (right next to the barbeque).  It’s an outdoor restaurant.  We’ve just built a kitchen.  The plants have also grown a lot.  We also have a new building with fifty-two extra apartments.  Next year we might move.  We might go to SETE.  That’s why I’m sending you a postcard where you can see where we are supposed to be in-charge of the RESIDENCE.  You can see around the pool that there are 200 apartments.   That’s what our boss told us, so if he doesn’t change his mind (and if everything continues to be interesting for us) that is where we will be next year.  Never say never…I want to see BATMAN (because of Jonathan).  Have you seen it?   I didn’t like it at all.  I liked the first one.  I thought this one was boring with too much talking.   That was not a good movie for Jonathan at all.  UNIVERSAL SOLDIER is coming out in France, too.  I don’t like Jean-Claude Van Damme that much.  He’s only made bad movies (Karate-type boring movies).   And when he talks you can tell he believes he really is something.  I think he is some kind of “would like to be” Arnold Schwarzenegger or Stallone.  I’m not sure about the spelling of Arnold’s name.   Arnold has made some good movies.   What I like the best about JCVD (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is his wife, Gladys Portuguese.  She was a fantastic champion bodybuilder.  I was a fan.

I’m sure you understand why I’m not writing very often these days.  I always have something to do.  It’s a very busy time of the year for us.  How much does a week or two in Hawaii cost for you from California?  Do you have any idea?  You probably do since you go there all of the time.  Or maybe you know just the price of the flight?  It is really nice there?  Isn’t it too touristic?  I have to go now.  I’ll write as soon as possible.Miss you too, Love, PalomaP.S.  What do you think about me sending you some money for some 501 JEANS soon?  What a pain, right?  Tell me if it really bothers you.  I’m just saying that because I know you won’t—just kidding!  How much are the 501 JEANS now?
And one last postcard arrived for me to read on the plane ride to Oakland.  This time it was from Dorothy Rua.    I loved the image of a little boy, holding a bouquet of flowers.  The image was entitled SECRET ADMIRER (photo taken in 1987) by Betsy Cameron: 7-28-92Hi There Michael!So glad and relieved to know all is well with you.  I loved your recent stationery and envelope.  The scene alone had my full attention.  I read your comment about eight times to be sure I was reading what you’d written.   Stationery looks like something you may have picked up in New York…it really is great.I haven’t seen the movies you mentioned but I did see UNLAWFUL ENTRY this past weekend.  I found it entertaining.I’m still working late hours at work but I’m trying to bring a bit of a balance to life. I’m trying to make fun time with family and friends (BBQ’s, etc.).  I always wish for more, of course.  A cruise on a great ship or a trip to the tropics would be great.   When is your next trip and where to?Are you still investing other people’s money?   Are you still enjoying work or are you on a new job these days?It sounds like you and Alan are in for a bit of excitement with the movie crew scheduled to arrive at your doorstep next month.  Have your camera ready!So…you’re headed the CONTRA COSTA COUNTY way, huh?  You’re not afraid of the CONTRA COSTA BLUES?   Who knows, maybe we can work out a lunch or something.   What’s it been?  Three years?  As you say, we’ll see.Love, Dorothy
Reading letters was not enough.   Something told me I needed to read more books.
Idle reading was another pleasure which he had unlearned and almost forgotten in years of abstinence.  This moment now reminded him intensely of his student years:  to stand before a shelf of unknown books, reach out at random, and choose one.--Herman Hesse, THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel

You Sure Made My Day

Words fly on wild winds from the mouths of sly people.--Lawrence Hill, SOMEONE KNOWS MY NAME
Mom wrote a handwritten letter, enclosing a BLUE CROSS notification that she wasn’t sure how to handle.  She wrote a poignant and moving line for me at the end of the letter:
July 19, 1992Dear Mike,
This is the letter I told you I got from BLUE CROSS.  Well, I don’t know what to say.   I just talked to you on the phone but I’ll be so glad to see you in a couple of weeks—even though I was there not too long ago.   It’s good to see you because I miss you a lot (even if I don’t tell you all of the time).  I miss you more than any of my sons because you’re a special one for me.Love, Mom
Alan’s mom, Gloria, was in Miami, Florida.   She travels there a lot with her husband, Jack “Israel” Cohen, as he deals in jewelry and jewelry findings.  Gloria wrote on a MIAMI postcard:
Monday, 7/20Hi,We are having lots of fun, playing BRIDGE, seeing all of our old friends and eating at all of the fine restaurants.  In Coral Gables (which is about twenty minutes from here) they have the finest French, Continental, Cuban, Spanish and Italian restaurants.  I go to the FOUNTAINBLEU Spa which is far superior to our Sports Connection in Santa Monica.  You really must come here.  I’m sure you would have a great time.Best Regards to all.  See you August 5th or before…Affectionately,GLORIA
A couple of days later I dropped mom a postcard in response the letter she’d sent:
July 23, 1992, Thursday at 5:45PMDear Mom,You sure know how to make me smile.  It almost makes a tear come to my eye.  I got your last letter with the BLUE CROSS notice.  You sure made my day!  I can’t wait to see you.I bought you 150 shares of COMMONWEALTH EDISON common stock.  They are the Electric utility Company in Chicago, IL.  They have been paying a cash dividend since 1890.  I feel it’s pretty safe and you’ll get about $112.50 in income credited to your account every quarter because they now pay .75 cents per share. 
This postcard I bought in SPAIN in July 1990.  It’s a rarely seen PICASSO of The SOLER FAMILY in 1903.  I think it looks a lot like the JOHN EDWARD ARMIJO Family!  Ha-ha.  They have ‘3’ girls, a dog and a rabbit (but it looks like they chose to eat the rabbit for dinner).  Ha-ha…isn’t that funny?Love You, Michael
After writing to mom I had this cool stationery that I bought and I wanted to use it to write to Paloma, so I did:
July 23, 1992Dear Paloma, Hi.  I started to write this letter to you while I was in New York over the 4th of July but I only got as far as writing your address on the envelope that delightfully matches the stationery. Alan is taking his daughters (Lauren and Carrie) to Hawaii from July 28th through August 4th.  I wish I were going.  I’ll also be going to Alameda over July 31stthrough August 2nd but I’ll be all alone in this big house all by myself for a while.  It’s too bad you couldn’t come to visit me.Do you like this stationery?  I’m not usually big on stationery but this had a tropical/romantic flare to it that I really liked a lot.I have another MOVIE PREVIEW JULY 1992 GUIDE for you but I don’t know if it will fit in this envelope.  I may go see HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KIDS at the movies tonight.  I did see PRELUDE TO A KISS the other night which starred Alec Baldwin and Meg Ryan.  I liked it.  I’d be interested to know what you think of it.  Work sure keeps me busy but I love it when the weekend arrives.I painted a new painting last Saturday. I hadn’t done a new one in about four or five months…maybe longer.   Oh well, till next time.  Miss You.Love, Michael
“One can’t anticipate everything.”“Life is short, and we must take our pleasures when we can find them.”--Lawrence Hill, SOMEONE KNOWS MY NAME

Prelude To A Kiss

I felt stronger and more confident.  The time of passivity was over.--Jerzy Kosinski, THE PAINTED BIRD
This “Valley Girl-type” song has everyone laughing.  It’s a bit of a rap song and it isn’t my cup of tea but the lyrics seem to be stretching the popularity of it.  It’s called BABY GOT BACK by Sir-Mix-A-Lot and it’s all about the attractiveness of a big butt.  Too ridiculous…who thinks of these things?On the other side I am feeling in touch with country life with recent cards that Barbara Reynolds sent and the ‘while at camp’ letter from Lauren Freiman.
Lauren mentioned Al Gore who is a Democratic Senator that will soon deliver a speech to accept the party's nomination to be vice president at the 1992 Democratic National Convention in New York. She also seems to have a knack for archery.  She wrote:
Dad and Mikey,My counselor has PMS.  The people in my cabin are “bitches” and Jessica needs too much attention but otherwise camp is great.I met this guy named MATT who’s going into 8thgrade.  I like him and he likes me.  So you know what that means!I’m very happy for AL GORE.  Is he good?  I’m taking archery as an activity.  It’s fun!I love and miss you both. 
Alan and I saw two movies that we really LOVED.  One was called PRELUDE TO A KISS starring Alec Baldwin and Meg Ryan.  I love the melody of PRELUDE TO A KISS, too.  It’s so gentle and classic.  The story seemed far-fetched but it was actually very well done.  
Rita (Meg Ryan) had a very pessimistic outlook on life.  She worked as a bartender, falls in love with, and, marries Peter Hoskins (Alec Baldwin), a conservative employee of a Chicago publishing house.  At their wedding, they are approached by Julius, a lonely, elderly man, who requests permission to kiss Rita.  When he does, their spirits switch places, leaving Peter with an aged man's soul inside his newlywed bride. Only when he can see beyond the physical, and embrace the beautiful soul he loves, will Julius agree to return to his cancer-riddled body by kissing her again.
The other film we enjoyed was called UNIVERSAL SOLDIER.   This was one of those Sci-Fi films that always intrigue me.  Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren provided inspiring physiques that made every guy yearn to aspire to that level of strength.   The film tells the story of a former U.S. Army soldier who was killed in the Vietnam War in 1969, and returned to life following a secret military project called the "Universal Soldier" program. However, he finds out about his past even though his memory was erased.  I really liked the adventure thrill of it.  I love to see and experience to performances of these actors but it must be a reawakening when the role you play comes to an end.
Barbara Reynolds “country feeling” cards were fun to read:
14, July 1992Dear Michael,I spoke with Helen Wong last week to tell her about my flame J.R.  It was great to talk to her again.  She is so focused and down-to-earth.  Helen said you are really happy in your new home and you have mentioned Alan a few times.  Am I supposing too much that you are really happy with him also?  I know what a difference it is to be involved with someone that helps you feel good.  I feel like there was such a drought for me.  This 190 degree turn ‘to be loved’ by someone who is so nice helps me to get my feet on the ground and want others to be happy, too.   It is so hard to be negative now.  That nasty old habit of negativity…It just doesn’t work.

I haven’t been to a NY play yet…only London and here (Berkeley).  In fact, Charles and I are seeing A NAME YOU NEVER GOT this Friday night.  We both have vacation days and will play together all day also.  The play is by a woman who gave up her child.  Oh here is the review…
I am on half-days for a little while.  I dropped by the DEAF AND DISABLED CENTER.  The Pac Bell Service Rep office has moved to Shattuck Ave a month ago.   They have a ‘req’ out and it sure is appealing to me to work within walking distance from home.  I filed the Transfer Request (first one since “we” transferred from Webster Street/Oakland to the SDC in San Francisco).  I made the visit this afternoon and saw Joan Lyons.  She looks as good as ever.  The office is bright with daylight and room noise is very low (especially compared to my current noisy office).  Alas, I am ready for a change.  Keep ‘my’ hopes down to earth or ‘up’ to earth. 
I’m off to the YWCA to get in-shape so Charles and I can get into dance classes.  No FATS!  And be healthy…Love, Barbara
Barbara’s postcard arrived the following day:
July 14, 1992Happy Bastille Day.  I got your lovely stationary and Notre Dame Card.  It sounds like a good trip.  Yes, I do appreciate the PARIS card.  Flying really is kind of weird.  I guess we have to expect that from going into outer space.  My next adventure may be DISNEYLAND.  I’d at least have to call you or can you put up for friends?  Just joking.…Love, Barbara
“An actor, I think, is all the parts he plays and all the ones he wants to play, plus all the things he’s ever wanted to be.  That’s hell on a relationship.”-Joan Juliet Beck, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE