Albie Cullen's Blog, page 6

Tim Thomas For President

History has shown democracy is probably the best form of government.  However, like the human condition democracy also has an ultimate fatal flaw.  We are forced to elect people who want to hold office not people who should hold office. When President Obama last night stated, "The state of the union is getting stronger", I am not sure to which union he was referring.  Wall Street and the people who run it have become stronger at the people's expense.   In Roxbury, Fall River, Taunton, the Bronx, and South Central LA things have only become progressively worse since Obama took office.  In fact in areas outside of America's cities people are bordering on the point of no return.  Gas, taxes, fees and insurance premiums are all on the rise.  Salaries, government services and public service are all on the decline.  The government and its agencies continue to pursue the little guy while the fat criminal leaders go free.  Despite all of the laws and regulations that were broken leading to the housing crisis how many corporate entities or executives have been prosecuted?.  None, there has not been a single indictment.   In fact the government continues to reward this irresponsible behavior.

"I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People.  This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers vision for the Federal government.  In my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country."

This was not Ron Paul at the Florida debate on Monday.  In fact this was not any politician.  This was Boston Bruin's goalie Tim Thomas' reason for not attending the Bruin's ceremony at the White House.  I have always admired hockey players.  They do not try and be "entertainers".  They do not carry firearms.  They do not take their abilities for granted.  They have always been the lowest paid professional athletes and have rarely complained.  They are grateful for their opportunities.  On a simpler level every hockey player I know has three priorities: Hockey, beer and good looking women.  In that respect they resemble surfers simply substitute waves for hockey.

To my surprise Tim Thomas' statement and decision were largely met with disapproval.  Maybe that's just how numb we Americans have become to our plight.  Personally, I may write in Tim Thomas for President.  Who knows maybe he'll even name a surfer like me VP.

KOKO

America Once Great Now Second Rate

There was a time when you asked anyone on this planet (and most aliens according to Hollywood) if you could live anywhere, where would you live, the unanimous answer would be America.  Now for a lot of people America wouldn't be in the top 3.  How is it that years ago America trudged forward.  Schools and hospitals were built.  Services were extended to the less fortunate.  Jobs were plentiful.  Hard work was rewarded with the realization of the American dream: home ownership, new car and two weeks in an exotic location, like Disneyworld.

Now despite both our tremendous wealth and technological advances we are laying off police, teachers, and fireman, cutting services to the poor and elderly, falling way behind in education and most inner cities resemble third world countries. Why?  there is an easy answer: individual greed.  Back when I was growing up parents were committed to the neighborhood.  While there was some "keeping up with the Joneses'" most people were focused on keeping the future bright for their kids.  Now people are so focused on personal wealth and recognition they could care less about their own kids much less society as a whole.  (How else can you explain the group of village idiots known as "The Kardashians"). There were a couple of people this week whose actions encapsulated all that is wrong with America.

Up until a couple of days ago I had never heard of Paula Dean.  She is a celebrity chef whose signature meal is a hamburger topped with a fried egg between two glazed donuts.  She is a firm believer in what she promotes as she goes about 280 pounds on a good day.  Due in large part to her diet she was diagnosed with diabetes three years ago.  As this diagnoses would have been a detriment to her fortune she kept this a secret while continuing to promote unhealthy living.  That is until a drug company paid her a substantial sum to promote their new diabetes drug.  Now she is all about "educating" diabetics. There is a name for people who will do anything for money and it isn't celebrity chef.

How about Mitt Romney?  He pays "around 15 percent in taxes".  This translates to probably closer to twelve percent.  In addition he fails to mention he pays taxes on only a small portion of his income.  My guess is his total tax bill was close to zero dollars and zero cents.  He justifies it by saying that his income comes from investments.  He did earn "a relatively small amount" in actual income.  That figure was $374,000 for eight speaking engagements.  Hey Mitt, I earned a relatively small amount, less than $50,000, working fifty hours a week for fifty-two weeks and a third of that, $15,000 was paid in taxes.  Oh, I almost forgot the $200 in book royalties. Mitt is the problem and he wants you to believe he is the solution.

America does still have one thing most other countries don't have: individual freedom.  That is I am free to leave anytime.  Make no mistake I would go to a country where people care about the greater good (and there arewaves everyday).  The problem is I am a middle class American and I can barely afford to live here much less move.

KOKO

World's Oldest Profession

Almost not here to write.  This morning the Lovely Old Lady (LOL) wanted a ride to work.  I wanted to celebrate Martin Luther King Day, by having a dream, literally.  That didn't go over to well.  She "accidentally" hit snooze on the travel alarm she uses.  The alarm is basically the size of an almond.  So when it went off every ten minutes for the next hour I had no way of turning it off.  I finally threw it across the room which seemed to do the trick.  She then proceeded to do a Jane Fonda work out in her high heel boots on the hardwood floor above the bed.  Mercifully, she finally left at some point.  She was also kind enough to turn all of the heat off in the entire house.  I almost pulled a Jim Morrison when the temperature went from 80 degrees to 60 degrees while I was sleeping.  So much for celebrating the holiday.

Just now I was able to survive suffocation by dish towel.  I didn't realize that different dish towels are to be used on different dishes.  (I think I was confused because except for the color the towels all look pretty much look the same.)  I then found out that some dish towels are not to be used at all as they are "decorative".  The decorative towels also double as tourniquets as the decorative towel was used in the attempted strangulation.

Due to the weather this time of year is just painful, although this year has been less painful.  Notwithstanding, after the holidays (with a funeral and a blown transmission thrown in for good measure this year) I look forward to the return of a routine.  There are little if any social activities.  Surfing and motorcycles are just a dream.  It's a time for work and belt tightening.  I did however forget the turn of the New Year marks another dreaded event:  the return of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  The world's dumbest show featuring a collection of the world's least intelligent human beings.

I realized that the network picked up the tab for the exotic dates at distant locales.  (Why show someone having dinner with a psycho they just met on match.com?  That would be a little to realistic for reality TV.)  What I didn't know was the Bachelor and Bachelorette get paid.  The pay is in the high six figures.  Last time I checked if you were paid to sleep with the opposite sex you were a prostitute.  Where are all these women's rights group who protest the exploitation of women?  The collection of bimbos on The Bachelor are just everyday johns.  Of course you would have to pay me to sleep with some of the "talent" on the Bachelor.

I guess focus groups decided that, The Gigolo, The Male Escort or The Call Boy didn't have the same appeal as The Bachelor.   ABC Television is realizing what most of us already know: true love is expensive.

KOKO

There Ain't No Sin and There Ain't No Virtue There's Just Stuff People Do

That's the way noted American author John Steinbeck saw it in the "Grapes of Wrath".  The older I get the more I agree.  A lot of people always want to know "why" something happened or "why" someone did something.  My question is why do we need to know why?  Maybe its just me but I have no idea why I get out of bed most mornings, particulalry this time of year.  After that I don't much remember what I do all day much less why.  (Unless it involves surfing.  Why I surf is another blog.  Suffice it to say I surf because its the only way I can deal with this world and the people who inhabit it.)  If people themselves don't know why they do things how are they supposed explain their actions to us.

Why did a mother murder her six year old son? Suffocating him while he struggled.  Some things are beyond explanation.  At least by explanation in this world anyway.  The mother claimed she attempted suicide immediately thereafter.  Her mother at least had the sense to say killing one's self is easily accomplished.

On the other hand some things don't need explanation.  Like the four Marines who were videotaped urinating on a Taliban soldier.   (Why they videotaped themselves is a logical question, however.)  The Taliban harbored Bush family friend Osama Bin Laden.  The Saudi National who with Saudi Arabia's financial support (at a minimum) murdered thousands of innocent working class Americans.  President Obama hasn't explained why but we are still at war with the Taliban.  By definition cruel things happen in war.

The more important question to me is why Secretary of State Hilary Clinton is kowtowing to Afghan President Karzai over the incident.  The question is why the corrupt Karzai and his cronies are still in power.  He has stolen millions from the United States and his people.  While we are on the subject of Afghanistan why are we sending the Pakistani government billions when their army is a known terrorist organization that supports the Taliban.  Most of us have been conditioned not to ask "why" in connection with the big picture.  After all we know the answer.  So the greedy rich few can both protect and increase their wealth at the expense of the rest of us.

I use to ask why the Lovely Old Lady (LOL) has to use the dust buster after she vacuumed.  Usually vacuuming and dust busting in the middle of a playoff broadcast.  I don't have many breaths left, I'm not going to waste any asking "why"?

KOKO

Jesus Rides Beside Me, He Never Buys Any Smokes

I am a Tim Tebow fan.  I quickly tired of professional athletes pointing skyward after every home run or touchdown.  Now, God is responsible for every completed pass, punt downed inside the twenty, first down, base hit, and made basket.  (You never see a hockey player thank anyone other than his teammates, they have always been the classiest professional athletes.)   I have nothing against faith or demonstrations of faith.  Also I believe in divine intervention in certain situations where there is no other rational explanation.  However, I do not believe in hypocrites.  Most football and baseball players and all NBA players are heathens.   They are narcissistic and greedy. They carry guns, illegally. They take illegal, performance enhancing and other drugs. They leave thousands of unsupported, illegitimate children in their wake.  If God were interested in the outcome of sporting events (Tebow correctly asserts He is not) almost every game would be called for lightning when one of these sinners points skyward.

Tebow on the other hand is the real deal.  He practices what he preaches, literally.  He lives his life in accordance with the Good Book.  Whatever he may be, he is not a hypocrite.  (I noticed Ben Roethlisberger pointing skyward after a touchdown pass.  Do you think he was sitting next to Tebow at church this morning or molesting another woman in his hotel room?)  Like Tom Brady Tebow has had to earn every accolade.  He was never anointed the "second coming" pun intended.  He won a high school state championship with a broken leg.  He is the greatest college quarterback of all time, and arguably the greatest college player ever.  He won two college national championships.  Most NFL "experts" incorrectly predicted he would be unable to make it in the NFL.  Even his own boss, legendary Denver quarterback John Elway was initially a disbeliever.  Again Tebow, like Brady early in his career, doesn't always look pretty and the statistics are not always great but the final outcome is usually a "W".  Ask the Atlanta Falcons who drafted "can't miss" NFL quarterback Matt Ryan whether they would rather have his regular seasons statistics or one playoff win in the last three years.

Tebow's legend hit some black ice the past few weeks.  (Figuratively not literally kind of like Massachusetts Lieutenant  Governor Tim Murray.)  To two-time Superbowl winner, and defending AFC champ the Pissburgh Steelers Tebow and the Broncos were a formality on Pittsburgh's way to face the Patriots next week in Foxboro.  But under God's eternal light (the game was played under a full moon in Denver) Tebow again proved every one wrong.

Tebow and the Denver Broncos are 15 point underdogs in Foxboro next week.  I think the Patriots are going to have their hands full.  After all I don't know of a better twelfth man than Jesus.

KOKO

Mind Over Matter

I have long doubted that everything is made of whirling electrons.  (I also question whether we ever went to the moon but that's a whole other blog.)  If in fact that was true then given the progress of the last one hundred years you would think that someone would have developed a way to move objects without picking them up.  I now realize that people (or at least the Lovely Old Lady (LOL)) have that capability.  Before I get started I'm glad that a person with no mind, Michele Bachmann did not matter whatsoever to the good people of Iowa.  Now she and her husband can go back to collecting over $500,000 a year in government subsidies.  You don't think she really wanted smaller government do you?

I stopped by the house yesterday to pick something up.  I took off my coat, gloves and hat (or more accurately randomly tossed those items.)  I quickly ran to use the facilities picked up what I needed and returned less than two minutes later ready to leave. All of my outerwear was gone, vanished into thin air.  The hat was buried in the coat closet where the jacket was hanging.  I still haven't found one of the gloves.  My two minute stop turned into five minutes when I had to look for everything.  When I questioned the LOL regarding the whereabouts of the glove she denied any involvement.

My everyday winter coat is a "shacket" (combination shirt and jacket).  I hang it on the first hook in the closet for easy access.  Somehow it always goes from that hook to the back of the closet.  Does it really matter exactly where a jacket is hanging behind a closed closet door?  Apparently it does.  And if I come home after a long day and place my backpack on the floor for less than a minute I have no idea where it ends up other than one of the dozen places I look. All of this reminds me of when my Mother made us clean because the cleaning lady was coming.  The logic apparently being not letting the cleaning lady know we needed a cleaning lady.  She must have come in lit up a smoke, watched a little pay per view and then took the money off the kitchen table on her way out: Cullen cleaning lady, good gig.

I also often make the mistake of leaving my toothpaste on the counter.  The toothpaste is way ahead of the jacket.  The toothpaste goes from the counter to a different drawer every night.  Nothing better after a long day then spending five minutes looking for your toothpaste.  (God forbid I use the LOL's toothpaste.  I think she recognizes the sound of the cap being twisted.  She awakes from a sound sleep screaming, "Don't touch my toothpaste!")  Weird, her toothpaste never moves.  Must be because I use Sensodyne and she uses Colgate.

In addition to things moving some things have disappeared all together.  My long sleeve, Black Crowes, 1992 Eurpean tour shirt seems to have moved out all together.  Maybe it sold itself on eBay.

The LOL seems to mind everything I do, for some reason it all seems to matter (mostly in a negative way).

I'm slowly learning to pay the moving objects (LOL included) no mind, because in the end it doesn't really matter.

KOKO

She's Gone

I have found little if nothing good about growing older.  When I was younger there was danger, excitement, and adventure and those were just the Conspiracy band days!  Then there were weddings and baptisms rather mundane but at least joyful occasions.  At some point it all changed.  I'm not sure at what point exactly.  Parties and celebrations became trips to hospitals, wakes and funerals.  While there have been tragic, unexpected and untimely deaths (although in my humble opinion one's death is always untimely) the expected demises are no less sad.  After largely avoiding the grim reaper for decades, death was a constant in 2011.

At some point this afternoon Gertrude "Nana" McCann at the age of 105 decided that she had had enough.

"Now she's gone, she's gone, Lord, she's gone/Like a steam locomotive rolling down the track/She's gone, she's gone and nothin's going to bring her back"   The only way you get to be 105 is by doing things the right way which is ultimately your way.  For 104 years she rolled down the track, living alone and telling it both like it was and like it was going to be whether you liked it or not.

"Nine mile skid on a ten mile ride,"  Even in her prime at say fifty Nana wasn't much of a wheel woman.  A trait she has passed on to the female side of the family.  Of course cars weren't mass produced in America until several years after she was born.

"Hot as a pistol but cool inside,"  I never saw Nana get upset even when she was breaking a yardstick over my much deserving rear end. (She later told me she was glad that the Department of Child Welfare wasn't around in those days.  I'm just glad someone invented the tape measure as she went through a lot of yardsticks.)   She had tremendous Faith.  Again you don't get well past the century mark by harboring petty resentments.  Keep that in mind next time you are pissed off at someone or something.  Nana knew that in the end (a century later in her case) it wouldn't mean little rather it would mean nothing.  "Going where the winds don't blow so strange/Maybe off on some high, cold mountain chain/loss one round but the price wasn't anything/a knife in the back/and more of the same."

As both the number one grandchild and grandson Nana had a special affinity for me.  In fact despite all of my glaring shortcomings and those who know me know they are many (and those are the just the ones that you can see), I was always affectionately referred to as "Number 1″.  In fact on both Christmas and birthdays I received double whatever my other cousins received. My cousins believed this was urban myth, but I can now confirm that was in fact true.

"Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,/Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile".  For as long as I can remember which is close to fifty years Nana went to church everyday.  I don't know if you go to Heaven.  But if you do I'm sure Nana is at the gate telling Saint Peter, "Move over, He's expecting me."

KOKO

Jesus Christ

Well here we are another Christmas. The combination of the season and the times has lead to the usual ridicularity. The new school superintendent in Danvers canceled Santa Claus citing the "separation bewteen Church and state". I guess in the last year Santa must have started a cult in the North Pole. Otherwise Santa's religous affiliation is unclear at best. The super now claims he has received death threats. Fortunately, people don't kill people for being stupid otherwise the human race would be pretty much eradicated.

How about these people paying off lay away bills. I don't buy it. First of all it only seems to be happening at Wal-Mart. What's cheaper publicity for paying off a few Lego and NOBO bills (NOBO is Wal-Mart's designer clothing line, I have been trying to get the Lovely Old Lady (LOL) to wear the clothes for years) or millions in television advertising?

The Republicdumbassicans pulled a fast one with the payroll tax cut. They claim it was a Christmas gift for the American people. When a parent gives a child clothes for Christmas, the kid is thinking, you are suppposed to cloth me, that's your obligation, Christmas is for toys. Congress is supposed to act in the best interest of the American people its an obligation not a gift.

Theoretically, Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birthday. The LOL makes everyday Christmas in our house. It usually starts in the morning, "Jesus Christ, don't touch me!" (Don't flatter yourself.) Then after I get out of the bathroom, "Jesus Christ there is water in the bathroom. (There are two sinks, a toilet, and three shower heads so I'm not sure why she is always surprised there is water in the bathroom.)

"Jesus Christ there's a window open!" I'm not sure why we are taking a vacation since my house at 82 degrees is warmer than most continents. "Jesus Christ, there are fingerprints on the light switches!" I've been tryiing to use my elbows but that's not the way the switches are designed. Maybe I'll try my nose. "Jesus Christ, why are you always home when I'm home. Well this is the address on my license. Not to mention I've been here for the last nine years. "Jesus Christ, there are cigar ashes on the porch!" Fortunately JC's Father, God, invented wind so guys don't have to sweep. "Jesus Christ, you wouldn't be so tired if you weren't surfing all the time!" Yeah, and I wouldn't have water in my ears and would actually have to listen to her celebrate Jesus' birthday daily.

KOKO

Ask Not

When I woke up this morning I saw that one of Boston's finest meter maids had left a bright orange greeting on my windshield.  There are few worse ways to start or end a day then with a parking ticket.  When I moved I failed to change the address on my resident sticker.  In Southie that will cost you.  Because like all of government the City of Boston is broke.

Later in the day I watched as President O so bad for me and my mama sat idly by as House Republicans effectively voted to raise taxes on middle class Americans by failing to extend the payroll tax cut.  What do they care?  When you're taking money under the table or through every loophole possible you don't worry about paying taxes.

Almost fifty years ago JFK gave that memorable speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country."    That started me thinking (no waves anywhere today so I was reduced to thinking).  Our grandparents and parents largely bought into this myth.  They worked hard, saved and never questioned authority. They supported this country and its leaders unconditionally.  They trusted that government and those who ran it would in turn reciprocate in this treatment.  Beginning with President Bush (W) we now know that not to be true.  Like the wayward children who found their way to Jerry Sandusky's "Second Mile" charity that trust was used to perpetrate a great and unimaginable evil.  Tell me how Congressmen and women who are largely broke when elected, leave office with multi-millions.  This despite collecting only a 100 thousand dollar annual salary?  I'll tell you how.  They sell the hard working people who elected them right down the river for 13 shillings of silver;  Judases every last one of them.  (This doesn't even include the poor US servicemen and women who have both fought and in some cases died for the sole reason of increasing politicians and their cronies net worth.  Wars are very profitable just ask Big Oil, Haliburton, and Blackwater for starters.)  As I have been saying here for two years this country is in the crapper and the flush handle is half way down.

I have never voted for a Republican in my life (although I've blanked a number of races). This year I am voting against every incumbent from dog catcher to the impostor in the White House ("Hope" my ass).    Forget the "We are the ninety-nine percent".  I'm calling for a new campaign, "If they're in, get them the F out."

If JFK were still around I'd ask him "What can my country do for me"?

Then again my country has done quite enough already.

KOKO

That Guy

Used to be that I was so far behind I thought I was first.  The Faithful now know that I am a man ahead of his time.  I was blogging about the one percent's increase in wealth a full year before the occupy movement started pitching a tent on every city sidewalk.  Just this week I opined on Mitt's inability to be liked.  Check out the new cover of Time Magazine entitled "Why Don't People Like Me" with a picture of Mitt Romney.   (Too bad you can't copyright an idea no matter how brilliant).

Just finished my third surf session of the week.  Everyday after December 1, is a bonus and I've surfed 8 days so far this month!  (The LOL (lovely old lady) ain't going to be too happy next month when my income reflects more time surfing than working.) At the last minute the forecast changed and the head high set waves were rolling in at Second Beach in Newport.  The way surfing is supposed to work is the surfers all paddle out beyond the "break" of the wave to the "line up".  Theoretically, each surfer waits his turn in the queue and then takes his wave.  If he misses, falls or hesitates its the end of the line.  I've heard this is the case in more traditional surfing locales like Cali and J-Bay (Gavin?).

I don't know if its the lack of tradition here on the East Coast, East Coast surfers are rude, East Coast surfers are clueless or East Coast surfers don't give a sh*t (probably a combination of all four) but there is no "line-up" in New England.  What happens here is everyone paddles out to the lineup and then its a free for all when a decent wave rolls in.  Usually there is one guy who is either on the far left or far right of the lineup and about ten yards further out.  This surfer is either a "big wave hunter" or a person catching every wave before it reaches the line-up.   (There is a reason its called "surfing" and not "hunting" Daddy.) "Big wave hunters" spend more time hunting (i.e. waiting) then surfing.  In surf etiquette whoever catches the wave first has the wave. Everyone else in the lineup has to back off.   Today, for the first time I was "that guy".   I don't know if I was tired, lucky or actually improving as a surfer but today I was catching everything early and often.  I was in Zen, on Zen, all Zen.  When paddling back out past the line-up guys would curse me and then move away.  (If a guy can actually surf you really can't do much about him taking waves.)

Due to tide, wind, and drift I eventually ended up back close to the line-up.  As I went for a wave a guy about a hundred yards down the line started calling "his wave".  I don't care if you are in knee high slop at Lake Wobegone or triple head high at Mavericks this is not cool.  I paddled into the wave.  He kept yelling.  I turned and saw he had caught the wave.  He kept yelling at me.  Now Kelly Slater could not have closed the distance between he and I.  I was about to stand up anyway when I remembered the Surfer's Code (there will always be another wave) and as I mentioned above it was his wave.  I pulled out of the wave and he fell; ass over tea kettle.  Like I said it was all Zen all day.  He paddled back past me glaring as if it was my fault.  I smiled, "Nice ride".

When I was done I wanted to call Mitt Romney.  "Hey Mitt," take my advice, "It's much better too be feared then liked."

KOKO