Albie Cullen's Blog, page 16

Help Japan, Not The Red Cross

  Just terrible what has happened in Japan.  An almost unnatural sequence of natural events has caused untold loss of life destroying families for generations to come.   With the country about to literally go nuclear things appear to be going from bad to worse.  

  Seems everywhere you turn you can text, email or call to donate $10 to the Red Cross.  As you know from past posts that's the last thing I would do as organized charities are just Bernie Madoff like organizations operating within a legal loophole.

  Just a couple things to keep in mind: the present head of the Red Cross makes over $600,000.  So the initial sixty thousand donations won't leave the Red Cross much less get to Japan.  Other executive salaries and expenses conservatively total over $2 million.  That's another 200,000 donations lining some American executives pocket.  In addition the Red Cross actually spends money advertising to solicit these donations. Let's assume another $500,000 on advertising.  That means the first 310,000, $10 donations will do nothing but make the Mercedes payment for a bunch of know nothing, do less than nothing executives who actually believe they are performing a public service in the form of charity.  They are no better than common criminals. 

  One last thing to keep in mind.  After 911 the Red Cross raised $564 million.  So far only about $154 million has been donated.  It is unclear at best where the remaining $410 million went.   But I'll give you one guess.  (The Red Cross recently paid an incompetent executive a $1.9 million severance package.  That executive should have used the lawyer that shook down Blue Cross for his moron client's $11 million severance.)  Unfortunately UNICEF and other big charities are similarly situated.

  So you are saying, "OK, we get the point, don't contribute to non-profits, but what can we do?"  I actually spent some time on the Web trying to determine a legitimate charity.  The task proved more difficult then one would think.  Google as always is a pretty good resource. 

  While it sounds simplistic the best approach is find someone with connections to the Japanese community and ask them what do. 

  Make no mistake Faithful, there is absolutely no charity in public corporate charities.

  KOKO

Deadly Sins

  The problem with the seven deadly sins is when you think about it none of them are deadly at all.  Having been guilty of six of them at one time or another (with the exception of murder (so far)) I guess I shouldn't complain. 

  I'm not saying you shouldn't have some time to enjoy the sin, I know I usually did, but if they did in fact kill sooner than later, that would be a pretty good deterrent.   

  Greed is what got me thinking about all this.  If greed killed we would be rid of the worse one third of the world's population: oil companies, insurance companies, politicians, and investment bankers for starters.  Ridding the world of these individuals and entities for which they work would go a long way towards solving the honest, working people's problems.  It would also spare us the ridiculous excuses they make to justify their unending self serving ends. 

  "I don't know what I was thinking," has to be the lamest excuse of all.  Why?  Because everyone knows exactly what you were thinking.  Hugh Grant used this excuse when arrested for soliciting a prostitute while the gorgeous Liz Hurley, his fiancee at the time, was waiting just a few miles away.  Well Hugh, you were drunk and figured sex with a stranger seemed like a good idea.  (Every guy (gay or straight) thinks about sex with a stranger, fortunately most of us realize it's not a good idea.)  As an aside if you solicit prostitutes and see a woman with all of her teeth, appropriate weight for her height, and looks like a natural blonde (or even has her own hair) trust me its a cop.  No I don't know this from experience but rather the johns I represent who think they've found the one girl whose an 8 or above on a scale of 10 who thinks she rather trick for money than put up with a rich guy's BS.  (I have you thinking girls don't I?  ).

  Mariah Carey also used this excuse when it was revealed that she performed for Khadafi's sons for $1 million Washington's.  Well Mariah you were thinking you were a has been, you had blown through most of your dough, and it was either that gig or maybe, maybe $5,000 at the local Elks hall in East Bum F-, North Dakota.  Having seen Mariah interviewed she actually maybe one of the few people who could honestly say, "she didn't know what she was thinking."  I think the question, "what to eat for breakfast" could be a tough one for her.

   She's going to make it right however by donating all the royalties from the sale of her next single.  I just received my first royalty check, $12, for the sales of Drown.  Tell you what Mariah, I'll match you.  I bet I'll still have enough left over for a nice cigar.

  KOKO

Long Time To Be Gone, Short Time To Be There

Every once in a while you experience a moment where peace of mind seems to crystallize out of nowhere.  Unfortunately such moments are fleeting, tending to disappear almost as quickly they appeared.  Further, like a dream, once the moment is gone and life returns to a somewhat controlled state of chaos, you are left with the vague recollection of a pleasant experience but no idea of how, where, or why you had it.   Most importantly you are at a total loss as to how to repeat the phenomenon.

    For me these moments now occur on a surfboard.  Prior to my surf habit  these moments occurred for me during the second set of Grateful Dead shows.   The remnants of The Dead performed in Boston this past weekend under the name "Furthur".  Finally the "Deadheads" have come to the realization that Jerry is gone and he ain't coming back.  But that doesn't mean a band can't generate the same magic.  "Wheel is turning and you can't slow down, You can't go back and you can't old on, Little bit harder, little bit more, a little bit further than you've gone before."

  Furthur was at arguably Boston's best music venue, the intimate Orpheum Theater.  I went solo on both Friday and Sunday.  (The LOL doesn't care for the smell of burnt weed, stale whiskey, body odor and patchouli.  She can't believe fans even smoke weed. People smoke weed at Dead shows? Shocker!) During the second set both nights I had such moments and this time it wasn't even drug induced!  (Unless concert strength poppy tea, coca leaves and three cigars count.) 

  People (the LOL in particular) often ask why do you have to go every night?  Or why do you have to surf everyday?  Why?  These moments have to be sought out.  You're counting on being in the right place at the right time when the cosmos aligns.  (I'm not a scientist but the cosmos has a lot of moving parts.) Likewise, if you're not in the water you're never going to catch the perfect wave or get the perfect ride.   Trust me all those who wander are definitely not lost.

  The problem as YZERTIME who checked in from parts unknown states so succinctly, "We just need to kill some time for a few weeks before we are catching waves."  That is when you live for the moments and not for the days, you may have a lot of down time.  Especially surfing in New England.

  "You can't go back and you can't stand still, If the thunder don't get you the lightning will." Let's hope so.

  KOKO

Free Drown Ebook (Kindle, iBook, Nook, Sony)

  In honor of read an ebook week Drown is available for free in all ebook formats.

  Just click here and use the coupon code.

Brother Wouldn't Lie To A Brother

   A number of issues The Faithful and I have been discussing in this blog, non-profits, corporate greed, and self-serving, corrupt, inept politicians collided this week, proving my position in high definition, clarity.

  The former head of Blue Cross Blue Shield, a non-profit, Cleve Killingsworth received a "severance package"  (he was finally fired) of over $11 million George Washingtons.  A self promoting website that that describes Killingsworth states, "Killingsworth became noted for his innovative emphasis on containing costs through the streamlining of health care."   Under Killingsworth Blue Cross' rates have soared.  I know I'm a member.  In the past year alone my premiums have increased 25%.  Further despite this increased income under Killingsworth's guidance Blue Cross lost $149 million ($160 million if you count his sevrance) last year alone.  What's even more unclear is what qualified Killingsworth for the job in the first place (a little more on that later.)  Insurance is a great legal racket.  The consumer actually prepays for a service which the insurance company then penalizes you for using. 

  Governor Devoid 0f Principal Patrick who has done nothing for his brothers in the hood saw no problem with Killingsworth's sweetheart deal.  Killingsworth is also African-American.  Turns out Killingsworth is a big financial supporter of both Devoid and other Democratic politicians.  So I guess as long as your resume is written on a transferable monetary instrument you have a chance of landing one of these jobs regardless of your level of incompetence.  Also if your a brother in Roxbury not much Devoid can do for you but if your a brother with a house on the Vineyard well that's a different story.  Finally Devoid doesn't feel that yours truly should make $50 an hour for representing court appointed, criminal defendants but if you steal $160 million from the taxpayers that's apparently alright.

  As previously mentioned here Martha Coakley isn't much of a politician.  Turns out she's not much of a lawyer either.  This wouldn't be so bad except her present job is as Massachusetts Attorney General.  So in this case it's a rather deadly combination.  She is "investigating" Killingsworth's situation.  Any first year law student whose had one day of Contract Law could tell you this is a complete waste of time not to mention more taxpayer dollars. 

  Thank god there is another Furthur show tomorrow.

  KOKO

Light At The End of the Tunnel

  When Mark Twain said, "The coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco" he clearly never came to Southie in January.

  Just to recap we haven't seen forty-five degrees since November.  I caught my last wave on December 5.  Christmas is always a relaxing time of year. January provided us with six feet of snow.  In February Deval "I'm only lying when my lips are moving" Patrick announced that he was eliminating private lawyers as public defenders.  This announcement would severley effect yours truly's financing for his full-time surf habit.  Upon taking office Patrick spent $20,000 of the tax payers money on drapes (not even "window treatments"), another $50,000 on a new Cadillac.  His first meeting was with predatory lender Ameriquest, who had made the new Governor (a former board member) a lot of money by lying  primarily to minority borrowers.  In this meeting the Governor assured Ameriquest there would be no consequence.  There wasn't.   Like all minority politicians he forgot where he came from but he didn't forget the hustle. 

  Before the election Patrick assured us lawyers he had their full support.   This being the sole reason I voted for him, I should have realized based on the above he would say anything to further his self interest.   In February, the Department of Revenue, despite sending me a $3,000 refund in 2006 claimed I now owed $200 for 2006.  In return for having the gall to question there calculations I am now being audited for 2008.  

  Thanks to the Gumby imitation by President O so bad for me and my mama the Federal Government is not paying its bills, leaving yours truly owed north of $30,000 indefinitely.  Have to admit not real excited about voting for another black "man of the people" politician. Winter of our discontent somehow doesn't quite cover it. 

  Bands are starting to tour again.  Saw David Gray last week, another solid performance and the guys from the Grateful Dead aka Furthur will be in town this weekend.  I'll be there.  Today is March 1.  Drown is a top ten selling ebook.  Daddy and the rest of the crew are starting to talk about surfing.  Looks like there is a faint, dim, wavering light in the distance.  However, the way things are going there's still a fifty-fifty chance its a train.

KOKO

The Boston Marathon

  Growing up in these parts you're well aware of "Marathon Monday" (an actual Massachusetts holiday called Patriot's Day).   For the next week you can't walk out of your house in the morning without tripping over a jogger.

 "Hey, Joe what are you up to?"  "Just training for next year's marathon." 

  The hardest part of running the Boston Marathon is training through the Boston winter.  I was actually quoted in the Boston Globe, "The marathon is won on a Monday in April, but it's run in the cold, dark mornings of February and March."

  Myself along with a few of the Faithful have run Boston.  I know Andrea has run two.  There is no greater high (take it from someone who tried a lot of ways to get high) than turning that corner on Boylston Street and seeing the finish. 

  I have always run unofficially.  But that is getting harder and harder to do.   You have to start two miles back (which makes it a twenty-seven mile race) and they have security trying to boot you.   In order to "qualify" for Boston and get a number you must run another sanctioned marathon in under 3:10.  Twenty-six miles in three hours and ten minutes is moving.  You have to average 7-minute miles.  I know I tried to qualify at Newport one November.  I ran the first 25 miles in 2:50.  I then became hypothermic, disoriented and after running the wrong way for a while collapsed at the finish in a time of 3:16.   Didn't qualify.  That's as close as I came.  Now I couldn't run a 7-minute mile if the police were chasing me. 

  So when the Boston Athletic Association (BAA) announced they were relaxing the qualifying times I took a peek.  The new qualifying time is 3:15.  If five minutes seems significant to you that's 11 seconds a mile.  So basically the BAA has given you twenty six extra steps.  Thanks.  But that's not the best part.  They actually have a qualifying time for the 80 year and older group.  Yup, if you were born in 1931 or earlier you have to qualify in another marathon in the same year in less than 4:55, huh?  I don't know to many octogenerians running two marathons a year. 

  I was in court the other day. A seventy six year old guy was arrested in a hotel room with some crack and two hookers after his wife called police.  No one, the female prosecutor, the judge, or the defense attorney knew what to do with the poor guy.  During a pause in the proceedings I in my best stage whisper suggested they give the gentleman a medal.  The female prosecutor wanted me arrested, the judge looked less than pleased (although I could see him smiling) and the defendant asked if I could be his lawyer.  Seriously aren't we supposed to respect our elders and honor their accomplishments?

  So hey BAA if you get an application with a birth date 1931 or earlier give him/her a number.  Or are you really going to make someone's nana run two marathons?

KOKO

Good Things About The Winter of 2011

Mine As Well Sit Back And Enjoy It

  I am against the death penalty for various reasons.  However, when I see crimes where the victims are children I second-guess this position.  Further if a relative or close friend's child were the victim I would have to restrain myself from personally imposing the death sentence. 

  I don't know whether or not Scott Brown was molested.  This is the problem with a significant passage of time, it creates reasonable doubt.  I hope that he wasn't and if he was I am tuly sorry.  I can understand why he doesn't want to prosecute.  Getting involved in the criminal justice system will only become trying.  Given the passing of the statute of limitations prosecution is also probably a waste of time.  The fact he won't identify his accuser is troubling as most child molesters continue on until the day they die. 

  But let's be perfectly clear about one thing.  The revelation of this forty year old secret has nothing to do with "demonstrating to victims they can move on with their lives" as the Senator puts it.  The story has everything to do with book sales and money. 

  Scott Brown was a little known state senator from some backwater between Boston and Cape Cod.  In the Senate race he defeated a lazy, bimbo Martha Coakley.  Ms. Coakley had had every prior election handed to her on a silver platter.   The more voters (including female voters which is highly unusual) knew about Ms. Coakley the more votes Scott Brown had.   Brown's notierity came not from his personality or his politics.  Rather the attention was based solely on his ability to win such a high office as a Republican here in died in the wool, Democratic Massachusetts. 

  In other words his life is no more extraordinary or interesting then yours or mine.  (Well yours maybe, as mine has been quite extraordinary and most interesting but all of that is covered in Drown.)  So when some idiot publisher gave him a seven figure advance they told him he better include something that sells books.  Further do you think 60 minutes would have the Senator on just to talk about growing up in Wrentham? "So Senator you must have got a lot of great deals growing up next to the Wrentahm Outlet?"

  I have absolutely no idea why anyone, anywhere would buy his book.  But if you have or will, you mine as well sit back and enjoy it because quite frankly, you are being duped. 

KOKO

Winner Buys

  I don't have a gambling problem I have a losing problem.  My former bookie owns three houses, one on the water down the Cape, a winter retreat in Scottsdale and a home outside Boston.  He never lost.  The best thing is he also always picked up the tab when we socialized.

  When you play golf you gamble, sometimes a lot sometimes a little.  If your handicap is high like mine you try and make sure it's a little.  Handicap is a measure of your potential not your actual ability.  Having never ever realized my potential in anything I retired the clubs for the most part.  At the 19th hole the winners buy the cocktails. 

  Surfing doesn't involve gambling unless you count your life.  So you either win or lose big time its part of the thrill.  

  When you're in Vegas and hopefully one of your crew has an extended date with Lady Luck, he/she is buying.

  Whoever leaves the horsetrack with the most money is the Sugar Daddy for the night. 

  Why is it then that this age old axiom is not true when it comes to Democracy.  I knew President Cheney had f'd up this country big time but I'm just realizing I underestimated just how much.  The Government is beyond broke and every state is effectively in bankruptcy.  Over the next year benefits to the elderly, the middle class and the poor will be cut significantly.  Government jobs will disappear.  This is just the beginning. 

  Our elected representatives refuse to increase taxes (although to actually increase you would first have to tax) the wealthy.  Why? Because they all beg, borrow and steal to become one of the rich.  Let's just start with oil company revenues.  Last quarter BP made $27 billion in profits.  (How do you think you cause the largest ecological disaster ever and your balance sheet doesn't miss a beat.)  That's over $100 billion a year tax free.  Last year I paid over thirty percent of my income in state and federal taxes.  Who do you think needs the money more: me, you, your children or BP?  There were a lot of companies and individuals who made a lot of money under President Cheney.  Why can't they foot the bill. 

  After all the fortunate do everywhere else. 

  KOKO