Albie Cullen's Blog, page 15

Reason To Believe

  Unfortunately this blog is not about the great Rod Stewart song of the same name. Governor Devoid (of values) Patrick's (D – MA) neither anticipated nor awaited memoir is out. The Governor fresh off his wasted "trade mission" to Israel (Massachusetts doesn't do any business with Israel) is now on a two-week book tour. Pays to be a state employee with a "no show" job.

  In the book Devoid raises the race card repeatedly. Devoid was born poor and black on Chicago's south side.  He went first to Milton Academy and then Harvard.  Neither school would have admitted him unless he was poor and black. There's reason to believe Devoid has exploited his background more than he has been victimized.  

 No question the black race, just like the Jews, the Irish, the Italians, the Catholics, the Protestants and the American Indians (get the idea) have been discriminated against. But its time to call it like its is, sometimes minorities use their minority status to their benefit. There is only one true minority in America now: single, white, straight men over 40. I know because I am in the minority. Unlike Devoid and President Oh so bad for me and my mama I can't find a way to exploit this minority status.

  The first thing Devoid did upon being elected was have the taxpayers pick up the tab for a brand new Cadillac. This was the first in a long line of questionable decisions. (He met with propriety lender and pillager of the black community Ameriquest a week later in an attempt to assist them.) This lead me to coin the controversial but accurate comment, "You can take a man out of the hood but you can't take the hood out of the man."

  Devoid claims The Country Club in Brookline discriminated against him because he was black. Maybe based on his comments and performance The Country Club had a reason to believe Devoid, feeling he was entitled to admittance solely the basis of his skin color, was just an average, all American jerk.

KOKO

Catching A Tiger By His Tale

  I traded the golf clubs for a surfboard a couple of years ago.  The only thing I do less then actually play golf is watch golf on TV.  However, I enjoy Sunday at the Masters.  First, it's a sure sign that I have survived another winter.  In high definition I can almost smell the grass cuttings, the Georgia Pines, and the colorful flowers.    I also know that it's just a matter of weeks until the summer moves up the coast from Georgia to Boston.  Finally, there is great drama as some players rise and others embarrassingly fall at the challenge.  All on live television.

  Tiger Woods made a late run this year but it wasn't enough.  Tiger's demise has been well documented.  His emotional wounds having been self-inflicted are more painful than any physical ailment.  Likewise the anguish is eternal.  There is no cure.  Rather he will somehow have to learn to live with pain.  I know I have made more than my share of mistakes that have caused great pain to both myself and the people who care most about me. 

  Tiger did more for golf than any other athlete of any sport.  The PGA benefited financially.  Both the association and the individual players participated generously in the added attention and revenue.   The television networks experienced a windfall from the sudden increase in viewers.  Nike Golf, a fledgling division of the sports apparel giant was transformed into a market leader overnight.  Country clubs, charities, retail stores and other individuals and entities are all the better for Tiger's unprecedented accomplishments. 

  His wife, who knew what he was like before she married him and made a commitment, in good times or bad, was the first to leave.  For this lack of loyalty I would hope she is not missed.  However, I am sure he misses his children everyday. 

  I was rooting for Tiger.  I will continue to cheer from him professionally.  Personally, I hope that he can find five minutes of peace.

  If you think he deserves eternal misery in spite of both all the positive things he has done and people he has helped, please comment on this blog.  I welcome your response as I have yet to meet anyone who has never made a mistake.

  KOKO

American Idle

  I wasn't shocked that Pia was voted off.  As previously predicted here she was not in the top four.  I was however surprised she was let go this soon.  I thought she was the most talented woman. 

  For the first time I can recall Idol did not announce the number of overall votes.  Also at the end of the show Ryan "The luckiest guy in America" Seacrest made a rather desperate plea that people continue both watching and voting.  A small audience and even smaller vote spelled demise for Pia.  Pia up until last week was a poor woman's Celine Dion.  Mistakenly she tried to do an upbeat number.  Despite the judge's praise the performance was spotty.    Also I find Pia very easy on the eyes but the ink spot pantaloon outfit was almost comical.  Finally, the other contestants have a solid base of fans based on the genre (rock, country, soul) in which they perform.  Pia found herself last Tuesday a woman without a song, outfit, country or ultimately a competition.  

  Clearly, Stefano and Jacob will be the next to go.  Stefano seems like a good guy but he has been bouncing around the bottom three from the start.  This is for good reason: he is clearly not as talented as the other boys.  Jacob who may be the most talented committed the cardinal sin.  That is he tried to impose his morals on America.  He turned down Marvin Gaye's, "Let's Get It On" for being to sexual.  All music appeals to emotion and there is no more base emotion than sex.  Further, choosing a song by an OD'd, pedophile freak isn't exactly a great moral alternative Jacob. 

  Jacob we like listening to your voice sing, not tell us what you think is right and wrong.   I don't care what you think.  Fortunately in another two weeks at most neither of your voices will matter.

  KOKO

Pays to Be Ugly, Dumb and Pregnant

  A few months back I mentioned that no looks, no talent, Bristol Palin had obtained a gig speaking out against teen pregnancy. I pointed out she was about as qualified for this position as Keith Richards was to be alcoholic anonymous' spokesperson. It's like Barry Bonds doing a workout video for Little Leaguers. It's like a congressman representing the interests of the people in his district.  It's like a Catholic Priest running sex education for altar boys.   You get the point. 

  Basically I thought it was a joke. I mean a girl who has never said, "No" to anything, least of all sex, teaching others to abstain.  I found out yesterday it's no joke. Rather its a gig that paid $262,000 to Ms. Palin in 2009. I am so beside myself I don't know where to start.

  Ms. Palin epitomizes everything that is wrong with America's future. She is more focused on being recognized by society than contributing to it. She believes not only is she entitled to this success, worse she believes she has done something to earn it.

  Both teen pregnancy and irresponsible/absentee parenting are a serious problem in this country. I fear we will not know exactly how serious until these children of dysfunction are of age. Despite having both education and resources regarding pregnancy Bristol managed to get knocked up. The father, Levi, apparently is no longer in the picture. He must have finally sobered up.

  As a reward for this completely irresponsible, selfish and self serving act Ms. Palin was awarded a place on "Dancing With the Stars." This despite the fact she is neither physically attractive or much of a rug cutter. Before the PC police start responding, physical attractiveness is clearly a criteria for "Dancing".

 Candie's Organization's  mission statement is to, "dramatically expose the devastating consequences of teenage pregnancy." How is getting paid a quarter of a mill a devastating consequence? I'd like to be devastated to that tune. Not to mention the organization spent only $35,000 on programs aimed at actually stopping teen pregnancy. I can think of a lot of cool, interesting, intelligent people I would pay $260g's to hang around. Ms. Palin wouldn't be anywhere on that list.

  Basically, this Candie's group along with the ABC network have not only condoned but rewarded an uneducated, no talent, dimwit, daughter of a C list celebrity.  These corporations have justified her decision to get  knocked up in the back seat of some gas guzzling SUV, with a gun rack and an snowmobile trailer one drunken night in Alaska.

  Unfortunately the consequences of Ms. Palin's teenage pregnancy have been devastating for the rest of us in that we have to be repeatedly subjected to her ugly mug. Worse, sometimes she even speaks.

  Is this someone whose opinion we value? Is this someone we want promoted as an example to our children?

  If any charity wishes to pay Ms. Palin to disappear I'll make a significant contribution.

KOKO

Truth

  Enjoyed another "Sunday Service" last night by Amos Lee and his band at the most intimate Wilbur Theater. One of Mr. Lee's songs, "Truth" started me thinking.

  "Well, my woman she showed up/With your number on her hand/Well, I thought that I might call you up/So we could deal with this man to man/ You better tell me the truth son."

  The framers of the Declaration of Independence thought truth was important as the document starts, "We hold these truths to be self- evident . . . ." Somewhere along the line the truth no longer became important. President Cheney lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction to stop Iraq from flooding the market with oil. If he had told the truth would you have thought differently about that war?

  "Now they got me here at the county/with your blood still on my hands/Well the boys and blue don't play no games/All the sheriff said to me was that/You better tell me the truth son."

  After Libya I think its true that President O so bad for me and my mama has absolutely no idea what he's doing. At least President Cheney was clear in that he was going to increase the concentration of wealth in this country both on the backs of and at the expense of the middle class. To that end Goldman Sachs didn't tell their clients the truth and are now richer for it.

  "Now they got me here at the lock down/For a crime I did commit/Well for my one call I called the number on my girl's hand/To remind you not to forget/ You should'a told me the truth son/Make me beat it out of you."

  In law truth is the ultimate defense. That is if you are on the side of right you are right. (Unfortunately I just don't have many (maybe any) clients on that particular side.) Last week the manager of the Baltimore Orioles was called out for saying essentially that Red Sox GM, Theo Epstein didn't know what he was doing. This year's version of the old town team (aka "The worst team money can buy") is headed South in a hurry. JD Drew is a $19 million a year platoon player. John Lackey was a .500 pitcher who couldn't handle the spotlight. Yet when Theo signed him somehow that was going to change. The metamorphosis didn't quite work with Julio Lugo either. The Sox have a minor league catcher and a suspect bullpen all for the mere price of $200 million. (Not including the $50 million the Sox are still paying in salaries for other players Theo misjudged.)

Theo should have realized the truth in 2004: he was lucky.

KOKO

Surfing With Al Gore

We've all been led to believe hell is hot. I now know that to be a myth. Hell is the winter of 2010-2011 in Boston. Awaking to a snowstorm on the first day of April means we have had six solid months of brutal cold, rain and snow. "Married me a wife/she's been trouble all my life/locked me out in the cold, rain and snow." (The Dead must have known both Boston and the LOL). Most importantly water temperatures have stayed at 38 degrees during this whole period.

Further the misnomer about New England is that we have four seasons. People assume, incorrectly, that the seasons are divided quarterly on the calendar. We have essentially seven months of winter. We usually have one nice sixty degree weekend in June which constitutes spring. Then by Fourth of July it's hot as the hinges of hell with 100 percent humidity through August. After those two months of summer we get a couple of nice weeks of weather in late September early October which constitutes Fall.

Hey, Al Gore why don't you come surfing with me this weekend? If you survive the shock to your system and don't pull a Jim Morrison out there, you can spend the three weeks in the hospital recovering from pneumonia rethinking your idiotic position on global warming. Who knows you might even feel better by spring.

KOKO

Brother Sly and The Family Stone

Was thinking today; never a good sign. My friend Dennis is about as white as Hood Milk. Not a big music fan either. He has been to one concert in his life: Sly and the Family Stone at the Orpheum in Boston circa 1976. He said he was the only white guy and every brother was packing heat. Was a 7:30 PM ticket and Sly and Family strolled on the stage around 1:45 AM. Dennis still not sure how he got there, wrong T stop maybe? He was more focused on the more important task: getting out of there.

Brother Sly was all soul. Give another listen to "Family Affair". And the Family Stone wasn't the bunch or neurotics pictured in that chick flick a couple of years back. If The Family Stone weren't such good musicians they'd be doing time, hard time. Gone also are (The Reverend) Al Green, Luther Vandross and the king of them all, Marvin Gaye. There is no more true, black, soul or R & B.

Someone did not only the black community a disservice but the whole music community when rap was allowed to be classified as R & B. Rap sells billions of records mostly to white suburban pre-teens, ironically. In my opinion its not music. Rap "samples" (i.e. steals) "riffs" (melodies) from classic hit songs and then rhymes some bull dung over the already proven music track. Further if the word motherfu^(!ker was never invented you would eliminate over 90% of the rap lyrics.

That's why I am so excited to hear AI's Jacob Lusk. He is classic, soul singing R & B. I wouldn't necessarily buy his records or go see him perform but he is the real deal. Wouldn't it be great if he brought back real R & B and killed rap? The bad news is Jacob once I've given you my endorsement your odds of being voted off increase significantly.

KOKO

Common Sense

The problem with common sense is its not all that common anymore. Let's start with the "conflict" in Libya. After just six short days its already turned into a debacle. We've fired on the rebels we were supposed to be helping. Khadafi's troops are not deterred meaning this latest war will only continue say forever. (Remember Bush declaring victory in Iraq after six days, how's that working out?)

  Finally, good thing we are not taking the lead. We've fired 99% of the missiles and over 95% of the patrols over the no fly zones. Now of course none of our so called allies want to assume the burden or the cost. Great job President O so bad for me and my mama. Like John Cougar said, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." The very worse part about President O so bad for me and my mama is not that he's failed, miserably, it's that he hasn't tried. I think YZERTIME speaks for the country when he says let's focus on the numerous problems we have in this country instead of arming insurgents in some far off desert.

   Moving to the arena of crime prevention our government has spent at least $2 million prosecuting Barry Bonds for essentially lying about how he was able to hit a baseball so far. Disregarding the fact that absolutely no one and I mean no one, not even the Government's star witness who refuses to testify, cares, at the time of Mr. Bonds chemically induced heroics steroids were not banned by Major League Baseball. Not only was MLB aware of the issue they welcomed their use. As you recall baseball owners and players disagreed on how to split billions of dollars. The hardworking, struggling people of this country tuned out. Baseball needed the bashing to win back the fans. The more steroids the better. Finally, as we now know every player was doing it. Personally, I'd sleep a little better if the United States Attorney was concentrating on prosecuting dangerous criminals that posed a threat to people in society, people like me and you.

  Lastly, "Reads Sometimes" commented on the AI blog questioning my musical acumen. First, I would like to think him or her for taking the time.  Wasn't sure anyone actually read this blog.  Apparently he is not a Casey Abrams fan. The fact Casey was almost voted off by the dimwitted American public only confirms he maybe the most talented performer on the show. Further the fact that he was "saved" by Steven and J-Lo means they agree with my opinion.  "Reads Sometimes" is probably still lamenting the loss of Sinjaya. 

KOKO

AI

  American Idol is like smoking or a one-night stand.  A guilty pleasure that you almost never admit to and you know is bad for you.   But like all so called guilty pleasures it sure is enjoyable.  (If you give it a few minutes the guilt will usually subside, trust me I have a LOT of experience in this area.)

  I've watched Idol off and on for the past few years.  To be honest there was no real talent.  To make my point, see if you can name two past Idols (other than Carrie Underwood).  Even better name the losing finalist.  Get my point?  My memories of Idol are like my memories of the 80′s and 90′s.   I have vague, general recollections, more like undefined shapes than actual events.  The bald kid who was a rock singer, the kid who changed his eyeglasses every week, the poor (as in flat broke) man's Freddie Mercury (only taller, and a little more gay if that's possible).  I do remember one winner only because he could have been my brother in law's twin, Taylor Hicks.  Of course Taylor was so bad his fifteen minutes only lasted two, as in seconds.  Basically, AI was a show about Simon.  Further there wasn't one artist (using this term in the loosest possible terms) I would leave my living room for if they started singing in my kitchen.

  Thanks to Steven Tyler and J-Lo, that has changed dramatically this year.  There are at least four legitimate and talented artists:  Paul McDonald, Casey Abrams, James Durbin and Jacob Lusk.  The old school country singer Scotty McCreery ain't bad either.  Sorry ladies but you are just not in the same class this year.  further this years has already seen covers of Nirvana, Judas Priest and Ryan Adams.  (J-Lo, didn't know who Ryan Adams was, only the best rock, singer/songwriter of the 21st century). Now "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong" and all of these performers should have a solid music career in front of them.  I would even pay to see them. 

  But don't think fopr a minute I'd be caught dead at the Idol summer tour.  Why would I do that, I don't even watch the show?

  KOKO

IDK IDC

My eight-year-old nephew can text better than I can.  The texts might as well be in Swahili as I don't understand and can't translate all of the short hand.  His favorite expression is IDK IDC:  "I don't know and I don't care".  I also particularly like this phrase as it is a universal response for all that's happening in the world. 

  President O so bad for me and my mama is back at it again.  Despite the fact we are mired in two pointless, endless and winless conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq there is now apparently a need to become involved in Libya.

  Libyans have been subjected to Khadifi's rule by terror for centuries.  The fact he is murdering his own people is nothing new.  (What do you think he did to the opposition before, give them a slap on the wrist and let bygones, be bygones?)  Also the fact that he is completely ignoring UN directives is nothing new.  (Does anyone really follow the UN, an essentially unrecognized authority with absolutely no means of carrying out is politically motivated decisions?)  Does that 747 that nose dived into Lockerbie, Scotland ring any bells? 

  In short IDK and IDC a minute about the Libyan people.  Sure I feel bad but civil war goes an all day everyday throughout this sick world.  In short Libya, "aint my (or the United States') problem".  Not now not ever. 

  The good people of Iraq also supposedly needed our help.  Now over one million Iraqi civilians are dead and they have no clean water, schools or hospitals.  If you think the Arab countries are thankful for our help just check the elections in Egypt today.  The winner will be The Muslim Brotherhood.  I know less than nothing about this organization but with the words "Muslim" and "Brotherhood" in the title, I'm pretty sure they are not running on a pro United States platform.

  Finally, if you think for one minute this has nothing to do with oil but rather protecting the lives of innocent civilians, think again.  What about Darfur or  the Congo?  Millions of innocent men, women and children are slaughtered in these countries every year.  But the United States government has done nothing and the media has completely ignored these people. 

  How about we do something for the thousands of small-orphaned children wandering (and now glowing) around the wasteland of North Japan.  That would actually be a humanitarian gesture. 

  IDK IDC, I do know and I do care that the New England water temperature went from 38 degrees to 39.4 this past week.  Won't be long until I'm catching waves.  If you think IDK and IDC now, just wait until May.

KOKO