Melissa Orlov's Blog, page 88
March 15, 2011
Executive Function and ADHD
There has been a lot of talk recently about executive function issues and ADHD. What are "executive functions" and how are they related to ADHD?
Executive functions help you exhibit control over your actions so that you can get to a specific goal you wish to achieve. That can be something lofty and long-term, such as "graduate from college" or something small and immediate like "make my lunch." There are five areas of executive functioning that are impacted when you have ADHD. Some find extreme weakness in one area, such as planning, and less in another, such as verbal working memory.
March 3, 2011
Please Spread the Word! Professional Course to Be Given By Phone
We got so much feedback about our new professional education course for marriage therapists - "This looks like a FABULOUS course, but I can't make it to Boston!" - that we have changed the format to be a phone seminar. I've very excited about this because it's a win/win/win/win:
same amazing faculty (Ned Hallowell, Kevin Murphy, Sue Hallowell and me)
same course content PLUS readings, which will make the course richer, and probably get ADDITIONAL CE CREDIT (we're finalizing that info)
MUCH lower price (only $295 with the early registration discount)
more convenient - no need to travel - six sessions in May and June and you can hear a recording if you miss one
I should have set it up this way in the first place - but thanks for contacting us and letting us know what you wanted! SO, if you are a professional interested in learning more about how to help couples manage ADHD issues, or if you know of a therapist whom you think would benefit from this information, please pass this great news on! For full course information, go to this link. (This is a professionals-only course, but if you are a member of a couple and want to take my couples course, the next session starts April 26th. You can find more information about that here.)
March 1, 2011
ADHD and Marriage - Giving Up Control
Control issues create one of the most common Catch-22s of ADHD-impacted marriages. Take on what your partner isn’t doing and you are overwhelmed with what you have to do and resentful of the burden. Don’t take on what your partner isn’t doing and you are overwhelmed by what isn’t getting done and resentful your partner isn’t pitching in more. So how do you stop trying to control your partner, get his or her buy-in, and get out of this lose/lose situation?
February 8, 2011
ADHD & Marriage Counselor Continuing Education in May!
If you are a professional interested in learning how to help couples deal with ADHD in their relationship, here is a great faculty for you:
Dr. Ned Hallowell, internationally recognized ADHD expert who has worked with ADHD couples for thirty years and was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for 20
Sue Hallowell, LICSW, therapist for over 20 years and co-author of Married to Distraction
Kevin Murphy, PhD, prominent researcher, presenter and clinician, and co-author of ADHD in Adults: What the Science Says
Melissa Orlov, marriage consultant and author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage
We are delighted to announce that we will be teaching the continuing education seminar The ADHD Effect on Couples on May 6-7 outside of Boston. If you are a psychiatrist, psychologist, marriage therapist or counselor who works with couples in which one or both members has ADHD, please take a look at this seminar. Or, if you are working with a counselor who has said they would like to learn more about this topic in order to help you better, please send them a link to this site. Today, more than ever, this is critical information for counselors.
January 27, 2011
Six Valentine's Resolutions for Struggling Relationships
When we marry, we hope to remain happily married until death, yet that is not the experience that most of us have. Yes, most of us who get married will stay married, but committed relationships generally include plenty of significant bumps and bruises. Here are some statistics to ponder:
Information from the National Science Foundation suggests that in any given year about 12% of men and 7% of women say they have had sex outside of their marriage.
As many as one in three couples struggles because one partner has a low sex drive
Marriage research suggests that the first year of marriage includes a significant decrease in marital satisfaction and that in the years thereafter happiness continues to decline, though at a less steep rate
More than two dozen studies since the early 1980s have demonstrated that marital happiness and relationship quality fall precipitously once couples have children
New parents have eight times the number of arguments that non-parents have
The marital dysfunction rate for couples in which one partner has ADHD is almost 60%
Unemployment, one of the most stressful factors in a relationship, remains above 9%.
January 25, 2011
Melissa Orlov Appearance on The Steve Katsos Show
Earlier this month, Melissa appeared on the Steve Katsos Show to talk about her book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage. Click HERE to watch the interview.
January 4, 2011
Seven Great Ways to Connect in the New Year
It's important to find time for building stronger connections with your partner, but even with good intentions this is just plain hard to do! When we are busy we often just respond to what's hot. It's stressful to feel as if “urgency” is the criteria that runs your life. And, quite frankly, “urgent” says little about value to you, just timeliness. The result is that we often leave the less urgent, but more valuable marriage and family parts of our lives behind. Here are seven very specific tips for reclaiming your marriage and family time in the face of this pressure.
January 2, 2011
Dating a Person with ADHD - Do I Continue?
There is a very interesting forum conversation going on that I would like to highlight here for those who are interested in whether or not they should continue dating someone with ADHD. In a nutshell, the original poster is nervous about whether or not the problems she sees in her relationship with her boyfriend with ADHD will always be present or if they can be improved. Her fear that he might not be able to “change,” or that the side of him she sees now is just hyperfocus courtship (i.e. not the “real” him) is keeping her from emotionally investing in the relationship. What’s really interesting about this conversation is the very thoughtful responses she has received from those who have been in the ADHD/marriage trenches. If you are interested in contributing to this topic or just seeing what is going on, I urge you to go to this link. Please, no “run!” responses – there are plenty of those around and they aren’t as helpful as the posters often think they are.
Reminder - Couples Course Starts Tuesday, Jan. 4
If you are still thinking about whether or not to take my upcoming couples course, please remember that it starts in TWO days - this coming Tuesday, January 4th at 8:30 pm eastern time. This is a very convenient and effective way to explore the issues that ADHD brings to your marriage through lectures, questions, readings and the conversations that the subject matter is bound to inspire. Details about the course and how to register are at this link. Hope you'll join me and the couples already signed up from all over the country!
December 3, 2010
ADD & Loving It! Now Showing
Check your local public television station to see if they are showing this terrific Canadian film about ADHD during December and January. ADD & Loving It! is informative, fun, funny and you'll both learn something and enjoy it. My favorite scene is the one in which the husband and wife agree he'll paint the dining room at some point in the future. She goes out and comes back a couple hours later to find out he's already started...and the color is going to be purple! Their sense of humor around this moment is priceless. If you want to see the trailer, go to this link.
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