Melissa Orlov's Blog, page 85

ADHD Effect AudioBook Now Available!

I'm happy to announce that the audiobook version of The ADHD Effect on Marriage is now available for download.  Here's to all of you out there who like to listen to your books, rather than read them!

Eight Mini Love Letters to Non-ADHD Spouses

Want to read some love letters?  I like to be even handed, so I asked the ADHD spouses in my last couples course to tell me what they love about their non-ADHD spouse.  Here is what some said:

read more

!!! Site issues with adding comments and forum posts - now fixed

I apologize to all of you who tried to leave comments or to post new forum topics.  I keep this site tightly up-to-date with security patches and other updates.  In updating the editor module for the site (the editor that allows you to bold and italicize without needing to know HTML code), it introduced a bug that kept the editor from appearing, and thus making it impossible to create content on the site.  It is now fixed.  My apologies again to all who tried to post over the last two days.

George

How to Stay Consistent With ADHD Treatment

Are you an ADHD partner who has trouble consistently following your treatment?  If so, you wouldn't be alone.  But not remembering to take your meds has a bigger impact than you might imagine.  Here is how one man describes his on again / off again relationship with meds and my thoughts about how to become more consistent while also improving his relationship with his wife:

read more

Part 4 - ADHD Spouses and Their Diligence

I often say that though people are quick to label those with ADHD as “lazy” because they often have trouble following up on commitments, my experience is that almost everyone with whom I come into contact with ADHD is a VERY hard worker.  Some of that work (organizing the disorganized mind, for example) goes on inside, and so is hidden from view most of the time.  Diligence and a willingness to try, yet again, are traits that some non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partners:

read more

Part 3 - I Love My ADHD Spouse's Sense of Humor

When you have ADHD in your relationship it’s a great thing to be able to LAUGH!  And exactly that’s what a number of non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partner.  Here are some examples:

read more

What We Love Part 2 - The Generosity of Our ADHD Spouses

One of the things I love about my own spouse is his empathy, generosity and warmth.  Is this related to his ADHD?  I’m not sure, though I do observe that if they don’t have specific anger issues, many of ADHD spouses I work with have very generous spirits.  Sometimes they act on that generosity in a way that warms others…sometimes they don’t…which makes them pretty much like the non-ADHD around us.  Regardless, generosity of spirit, if you spouse possesses it, is something to celebrate.  Here is “what I love about my ADHD spouse

read more

ADHD Awareness Week: Celebrating the Strengths of Those with ADHD

As part of ADHD Awareness Week I’m writing a daily series about what partners say they love about their spouse with ADHD.  These are collected from participants in my current couples class, from those at this site, and from my own experience.  I hope you’ll join the conversation, or at least spend some time this week showing appreciation for the things you enjoy.  (We spend too much time thinking about the things we don’t enjoy!)  So, here’s “love letter” #1…

read more

ADHD Spouses: Step By Step Conflict Resolution

Once again, my husband and I are at odds over phones.  But how we’ve resolved it this time is illustrative of one good way to get past having legitimately conflicting objectives. The phone issue remains outstanding (for now) but I’m actually happy.  Years ago, in our “old relationship”, this situation would have caused a huge amount of conflict and pain.  Here’s how we now avoid that…

read more

Keeping ADHD Awareness Week Positive

October 16-22 is ADHD Awareness Week and I would like to post one great thing that you love about your own ADHD or your spouse's ADHD every day that week.  Even if you are unhappy with the way your relationship is currently going, there is likely at least ONE positive thing you can come up with!  I invite you to post the positives here and, like my mother used to say, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it!"  In any event, we all know that ADHD can be a pain but let's also remember there are some wonderful traits that are easy to fall in love with, too.

P.S.  I will also offer tips for couples that week, probably related to the posts.

read more