Melissa Orlov's Blog, page 87

May 19, 2011

Get Your Marriage Out of "He Said - She Said" Today!


Do you, like many other couples, find yourselves arguing over whether or not something happened a certain way in the past?  Whether or not you’ve discussed a specific subject?  Wondering whether your partner was actually THERE when you were talking about something with him or her?  If so, you’ve probably experienced the “he said/she said” argument – the one that goes like this:



“…but we agreed to see a financial adviser!”

"No we didn’t!”

“We talked about it last Tuesday night…”

“We talked about money then, but we didn’t agree to see a financial adviser!”

“Yes we did!”


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Published on May 19, 2011 08:47

May 12, 2011

ADHD & Marriage: A Simple Approach to Help You Make Progress


One of the participants of my couples course recently asked me “You talk about how important it is the measure how you are both doing against your goals…but what does that look like, exactly?”  It’s a great question about a really important part of moving your relationship forward.  Here’s how our conversation started, with a specific example so you all know what I’m referring to:



Me:  Let’s talk about something very specific as an example.  Tell me what one of your own goals is.

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Published on May 12, 2011 08:50

May 11, 2011

Free Book Chapters Now Available


Registered users of this site can now download, for free, the first two chapters of The ADHD Effect on Marriage simply by going to the "free chapters" link in the main menu.  If you're not yet registered, this might be a good time to sign up!

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Published on May 11, 2011 07:41

May 1, 2011

"I'm Distracted. I've Got ADHD. Get over it!"


I was speaking in New York recently and was asked an excellent question by a man who has ADHD.  The gist of it was this:



“My girlfriend sends me emails all the time when I’m at work and then gets angry with me when I don’t respond consistently.  My reaction is to simply tell her ‘I’m distracted – I’ve got ADHD.  I often forget to respond to you.  Get over it!’  What do you think about that response?”  Here’s my answer:


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Published on May 01, 2011 08:27

April 28, 2011

How Do YOU Stay Organized?


Calling all readers with ADHD - how do you stay organized?  What works for you, and why?  I'm particularly interested in electronic ways to stay organized via the iPhone or BB or computer.  Share your ideas here with others on the site!

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Published on April 28, 2011 11:54

April 26, 2011

Reminder - Couples Course Starts Tonight


If you are interested in taking the couples course and haven't yet signed up - this is the day.  Go to this link for the details and registration information.  Please complete your registration before 7pm eastern time.

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Published on April 26, 2011 07:31

April 20, 2011

Taking Responsibility for My Error


Sometimes we all need to eat crow – and right now the person who needs to do that is me.  I am deeply embarrassed, one could say mortified, that I published that Simora is the same person as Red Haired Witch, Miss Behavin, Crazy Dave, Rene and Annoyedatlies.  However, she isn’t that person (the other user names are, indeed, all the same person, but they are not Simora).

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Published on April 20, 2011 19:46

April 16, 2011

Fraudulent Poster, Back Again, Banned Again


Every so often, tensions rise on this site to a point where George and I find ourselves stepping into the middle of an argument, temporarily shutting a person off the site to let them cool down or to investigate further what’s really going on behind the scenes.  We don’t do it often, and when we do take action it is because someone has ignored our posting rules, the most important of which is “don’t attack another poster.”  Tonight we banned “Simore” who, for the second time, overtly attacked another person.  We also shut down “Rene,” who immediately attacked us directly and vigorously for our action.


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Published on April 16, 2011 19:20

March 31, 2011

Are All With ADHD the Same?


There is some conversation going on right now in the forums questioning whether it is appropriate to make generalizations about people with ADHD.  One person suggests this is insulting or hurtful to group those with ADHD together.  Another poster asks:  ‘if "they" (people with ADHD) are all so completely different, why do we keep hearing the same behaviors (forgetting, interrupting, not handling money well, etc.) coming up over and over?’  I would like to respond to this question in the blog, rather than in the forums.


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Published on March 31, 2011 12:46

March 30, 2011

Coming Up...


I want to remind readers of three events coming up.  In chronological order:




The early registration discount for our upcoming course for therapists ends April 1.  Professionals, please go to this link for more information.  Faculty is Dr. Hallowell, Melissa Orlov, Dr. Kevin Murphy and Sue Hallowell and the syllabus is terrific.

I'm going to be speaking in New York City on April 7th for the Manhattan Adult ADD Support Group 6:15 - 9:00 pm.  This talk about ADHD and marriage will be open to the public ($5 donation requested).  For details go to this link.

My next phone course for couples starts April 26th.  This course is a great way to break through the impasse you face in your relationship.  Information at this link.


 


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Published on March 30, 2011 13:25

Melissa Orlov's Blog

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