Rob Smyth's Blog, page 181
January 26, 2016
South Africa beat England by 280 runs in fourth Test – as it happened
England were trounced on the final day at Centurion, with Kagiso Rabada taking 13 wickets
9.39am GMT
Well, that’s about it from Centurion, and indeed from Kings Cross, London. England win the series 2-1, an excellent result, and have a great chance of going from fifth to first in the Test rankings in the summer.
The ODIs begin a week tomorrow. Thanks for your company. Bye!
9.36am GMT
And here’s Alastair Cook: “It’s been a disappointing match, we haven’t quite been on it. Credit to South Africa. Trevor described today as a limp batting performance, which sums it up perfectly. We always want to try and play positively but we didn’t get the balance right today. I can’t really fault the lads too much because they’ve put in a huge amount and we’ve played some very good cricket. We’re a dangerous side but we need more consistency with the bat and with our fielding.”
9.34am GMT
First up on the podium is Jonathan McCauley-Oliver: “I can handle being crap: I grew up watching Derek Pringle and David Capel. But being gutless is a disgrace. I fervently hope Alastair Cook gets a proper grilling when interviewed and he should make his players go into the stands and apologise to each England fan. Something good needs to happen because I am running out of office furniture to kick.”
Hang on, that was an email. Here’s AB de Villiers: “I thought the boys were very fired up for this Test match. It’s been a while since we’ve won a Test, so we’ll enjoy the celebrations. Kagiso had a fantastic match, I’m very proud of him. I’m very excited about some of the guys coming through. I’ve really enjoyed being captain and I’m keen to move forward. There’s a bright future for us.”
9.20am GMT
@robsmyth0 FWIW Cook, Hales, Taylor, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Jimmy
What has Buttler done to merit a recall that Morgan hasn’t?
9.19am GMT
We’ll keep the blog going for a bit. Longer than England kept the slog going, anyway. “Forget this game,” says Beefy. “Think about what they’ve done this series. Within 12-18 months they could easily be No1 in the world.”
They’ll be No1 before the end of the summer, Beef. You have my word.
9.15am GMT
@robsmyth0 is it ok to feel really rather angry with England, esp for the morning but also the whole test? On the beach...
Permission granted. I find it hard to get angry because I’m dead inside, but I can understand why you would be. There was no defence.
9.13am GMT
Anderson lbw first ball, to Rabada of course, and game is over. SA win 280 runs. Rabada 13-144 in the match. Eng display utterly deplorable
Wish England wouldn't go through pretence of saying they'll go "all out to win" dead-rubber Tests.Just be honest & go on the piss for 5 days
9.11am GMT
That really is a staggering performance from Kagiso Rabada: six for 32 in the innings and 13 for 144 in the match, the second best match figures in South African history. He hands a stump to his dad on the way off, a lovely moment. Amid the rubble of a humbling series defeat, a new South African team has started to emerge.
There was talk of showers at Centurion today, and England were a complete shower, throwing their wickets away in the modern manner. It didn’t look great but it can happen, and it would be wrong to let this overshadow a terrific win from an improving side. All things being equal, they will be world No1 at some stage this summer.
9.07am GMT
The series ends in strange style. Anderson is hit on the toe first ball by a superb yorker from Rabada. Kumar Dharmasena says not out, and South Africa only review reluctantly. But it’s out! Rabada has 13 in the match, astonishing stuff at the age of 20, and the match is over. South Africa win by 280 runs! England lasted 67 minutes this morning.
Feel sorry for fans TBH I know England feel they deserve a beer for brunch but capitulation makes a mockery of charging for entry @robsmyth0
9.04am GMT
Rabada takes his third consecutive five-for! Broad had a wild hack and edged to it second slip, where de Villiers took a really good catch. Rabada has taken 12 wickets in this match. It’s probably fair to say South Africa have found a future star.
9.02am GMT
34th over: England 101-8 (Moeen 10, Broad 2) When Morkel overpitches consecutive deliveries, Moeen times the undercrackers off pushes to long-on and long-off. Futility doesn’t get much more gorgeous than that.
“Indeed, Rob, Nick Compton is averaging 30,” says Paul Ewart. “He’s the only one of the top three to break 30. Hales and Cook have averages in the low 20s for the series. What to do?” Bin Cook. Next.
8.56am GMT
33rd over: England 93-8 (Moeen 2, Broad 2) So this will be seven series in eight that England have lost the last Test. I’m not sure how you address a problem like that.
“If Alanis is so bloody clever,” says Mike Selvey, “ask her what England’s top three should be next match.”
8.53am GMT
That’s wicket No11 for the brillaint Rabada. Woakes snicks a back-foot force through to de Kock, who takes a routine catch.
8.51am GMT
32nd over: England 90-7 (Moeen 1, Woakes 5) Moeen is beaten by a brutish lifter from Morkel.
England Innings Highlights: https://t.co/Srdjj5V4FU
Remember the glory days when England would win the dead games (from 4-0 down against Australia, sure, but still...)
8.46am GMT
31st over: England 88-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Moeen continues his silken destruction of fresh air, with Rabada beating him for the second time in the innings.
Composite XI from this series could be interesting. England definites Root, Stokes, Bairstow, Broad. Anyone else? Finn maybe? @robsmyth0
8.43am GMT
30th over: England 87-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Woakes is beaten by Morkel, not once but twice. He could do with some runs to further justify his
existence
place. This isn’t great from England but, well, it happens. And they have won the series. And that official ECB later does look pretty tempting in that ice bath.
“Thanks for another reference,” says Pete Salmon, “although the correct form is ‘It is an awful feeling to get out twice to the same bowler, two balls in a row. Ask Greg Blewett’.” I bet Alanis would know the answer.
8.38am GMT
England are trying to get this done before drinks, never mind lunch. Stokes creams a pull straight to deep midwicket, where Cook takes an easy catch.
8.37am GMT
29th over: England 83-6 (Stokes 10, Moeen 0)
8.34am GMT
What a moment for Rabada! He had Bairstow caught at slip off a no-ball the previous delivery but – as with Darren Gough and Greg Blewett on that famous day at Edgbaston in 1997 – he got him again next ball! Bairstow fiddled defensively outside off and thin-edged it through to de Kock. Rabada is the youngest South Africa to take a ten-for in Tests, and he’s now the leading wicket-taker in the series even though he missed the first Test.
8.33am GMT
Rabada has taken 10 wickets in the match!
8.28am GMT
28th over: England 78-5 (Stokes 10, Bairstow 10) Morkel jags one back to ram Stokes in the breadbasket, knocking him off his feet in the process. Stokes then flicks a short one round the corner for four. He won’t die wondering. He probably won’t even die, such is his superhumanity.
“Morning Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’d just been discussing at what point England would finally collapse, crushing our faint hopes under a white, shiny #ECBbranded cricket boot. But looks like we’re in a hurry to have a beer at lunch. I think this series has a lot of questions still, and we should stick with Hales for at least the first Tests of the summer, when he may have white ball runs (we won’t though). Who else is there, bar Compo, and we’ll have two grinders up top. Taylor also, needs sticking with, someone just needs to tell him to calm down a little.”
8.25am GMT
27th over: England 72-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 10) Piedt’s work is done, with Joe Root out, so he’s replaced by Kagiso Rabada. His fourth ball is too straight and pinged imperiously through midwicket for four by Bairstow. He is averaging 87 in this series and, perhaps for the first time, will feel secure in the team – not necessarily as a keeper-batsman, but certainly as a batsman.
“Damn, thought I’d head to the OBO early expecting play to start at 8.30,” says Kevin Wilson. “I was hoping Taylor would score some runs. The last three Tests have been a proper damp squib. He’s found ridiculous ways to get out. Of the three batsmen on the chopping block, he’s the only one I’d really make a case for retaining. Vince is due Compton’s place and heck, anyone might as well open.”
8.20am GMT
26th over: England 64-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 2) Quick poll: do you think Ben Stokes will bat for a draw?
A) No.
8.14am GMT
25th over: England 60-5 (Stokes 0, Bairstow 2) Piedt does seem to cause Root an inordinate amount of difficulty. He was dropped off Piedt’s first ball of the day, but the reprieve didn’t last long. From the third ball of Piedt’s second over, Root went for a big drive and snicked it straight to slip, where Elgar grabebed a sharp chance.
In other news, here’s some more love for Kim Hughes, and one of the greatest innings in Test history.
@robsmyth0 Also this knock. Amazing bit of fielding from Desmond Haynes in there. https://t.co/4q2mdTHqLj
8.13am GMT
Well done AB de Villiers! That was an inspired decision to bowl Piedt to Root, who has been caught at slip playing a loose drive.
8.12am GMT
24th over: England 58-4 (Root 20, Stokes 0) That completes a surprisingly modest series from Taylor, who started with such authority in the first Test. It was never going to be an easy tour for him though, and he deserves more time, particularly with next winter’s trip to Indian in mind.
8.11am GMT
Abbott was only bowling one over so that Morkel could switch ends – and he strikes in his first over. The last delivery kicked from a length to brush the glove as Taylor tried to drop his hands at the last minute, and de Kock took an easy catch. Lovely delivery.
8.06am GMT
23rd over: England 58-3 (Root 20, Taylor 24) Instead of opening the bowling with Morkel and Rabada, AB de Villiers has started with Abbott and Piedt! What an absurd decis- Root is dropped off Piedt’s first ball! He played for turn and got a big edge that de Kock couldn’t hold. Those chances are always tricky for the modern keeper, certainly when the deflection is that big. Piedt ends a good over by beating Root outside off stump.
8.03am GMT
22nd over: England 56-3 (Root 19, Taylor 23) Kyle Abbott will bowl the first over. Not even Chuck Norris could bowl with a hamstring injury, but Abbott is apparently doing so. His second ball, to Taylor, keeps ominously low, and it’s that low bounce that is the reason for Abbott bowling a very tight line. His last ball is too straight and flicked crisply through midwicket for four by Taylor.
7.59am GMT
So, anyway, what’s your team for the first Test of next summer?
I would probably go for Cook, Compton, Taylor, Root, Morgan, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Anderson.
7.56am GMT
Last day, 3 sessions, or 6 hours of the scheduled 85 days, 255 sessions or 510 hours of Test cricket for England since April.
It turned out a lot better than we feared. Five series: two wins, two draws and a defeat. Seventeen Tests: seven wins, three draws and, in all probability, seven defeats.
7.54am GMT
Happy Australia Day!
On this day, 14 years ago, Shane Bond’s life changed with an accidental jaffa to Adam Gilchrist.
3.59pm GMT
Crawl, walk, run. That’s how it used to work. Emerging Test sides had to become hard to beat before they could even contemplate regular victory. Think of Allan Border’s Australia, Nasser Hussain’s England and especially Andrew Strauss’s England, nine down and hanging on for dear draw in 2009-10.
Alastair Cook’s young team do things a little differently. They took a shortcut to the winning part last summer, but they still haven’t really learned how to turn defeats into draws. Since they first came together in 2014 there have been a series of fourth-innings rearguards, 0.00 per cent of which have been successful.
Continue reading...
South Africa beat England by 280 runs in fourth Test – live!
9.20am GMT
@robsmyth0 FWIW Cook, Hales, Taylor, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Jimmy
What has Buttler done to merit a recall that Morgan hasn’t?
9.19am GMT
We’ll keep the blog going for a bit. Longer than England kept the slog going, anyway. “Forget this game,” says Beefy. “Think about what they’ve done this series. Within 12-18 months they could easily be No1 in the world.”
They’ll be No1 before the end of the summer, Beef. You have my word.
9.15am GMT
@robsmyth0 is it ok to feel really rather angry with England, esp for the morning but also the whole test? On the beach...
Permission granted. I find it hard to get angry because I’m dead inside, but I can understand why you would be. There was no defence.
9.13am GMT
Anderson lbw first ball, to Rabada of course, and game is over. SA win 280 runs. Rabada 13-144 in the match. Eng display utterly deplorable
Wish England wouldn't go through pretence of saying they'll go "all out to win" dead-rubber Tests.Just be honest & go on the piss for 5 days
9.11am GMT
That really is a staggering performance from Kagiso Rabada: six for 32 in the innings and 13 for 144 in the match, the second best match figures in South African history. He hands a stump to his dad on the way off, a lovely moment. Amid the rubble of a humbling series defeat, a new South African team has started to emerge.
There was talk of showers at Centurion today, and England were a complete shower, throwing their wickets away in the modern manner. It didn’t look great but it can happen, and it would be wrong to let this overshadow a terrific win from an improving side. All things being equal, they will be world No1 at some stage this summer.
9.07am GMT
The series ends in strange style. Anderson is hit on the toe first ball by a superb yorker from Rabada. Kumar Dharmasena says not out, and South Africa only review reluctantly. But it’s out! Rabada has 13 in the match, astonishing stuff at the age of 20, and the match is over. South Africa win by 280 runs! England lasted 67 minutes this morning.
Feel sorry for fans TBH I know England feel they deserve a beer for brunch but capitulation makes a mockery of charging for entry @robsmyth0
9.04am GMT
Rabada takes his third consecutive five-for! Broad had a wild hack and edged to it second slip, where de Villiers took a really good catch. Rabada has taken 12 wickets in this match. It’s probably fair to say South Africa have found a future star.
9.02am GMT
34th over: England 101-8 (Moeen 10, Broad 2) When Morkel overpitches consecutive deliveries, Moeen times the undercrackers off pushes to long-on and long-off. Futility doesn’t get much more gorgeous than that.
“Indeed, Rob, Nick Compton is averaging 30,” says Paul Ewart. “He’s the only one of the top three to break 30. Hales and Cook have averages in the low 20s for the series. What to do?” Bin Cook. Next.
8.56am GMT
33rd over: England 93-8 (Moeen 2, Broad 2) So this will be seven series in eight that England have lost the last Test. I’m not sure how you address a problem like that.
“If Alanis is so bloody clever,” says Mike Selvey, “ask her what England’s top three should be next match.”
8.53am GMT
That’s wicket No11 for the brillaint Rabada. Woakes snicks a back-foot force through to de Kock, who takes a routine catch.
8.51am GMT
32nd over: England 90-7 (Moeen 1, Woakes 5) Moeen is beaten by a brutish lifter from Morkel.
England Innings Highlights: https://t.co/Srdjj5V4FU
Remember the glory days when England would win the dead games (from 4-0 down against Australia, sure, but still...)
8.46am GMT
31st over: England 88-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Moeen continues his silken destruction of fresh air, with Rabada beating him for the second time in the innings.
Composite XI from this series could be interesting. England definites Root, Stokes, Bairstow, Broad. Anyone else? Finn maybe? @robsmyth0
8.43am GMT
30th over: England 87-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Woakes is beaten by Morkel, not once but twice. He could do with some runs to further justify his
existence
place. This isn’t great from England but, well, it happens. And they have won the series. And that official ECB later does look pretty tempting in that ice bath.
“Thanks for another reference,” says Pete Salmon, “although the correct form is ‘It is an awful feeling to get out twice to the same bowler, two balls in a row. Ask Greg Blewett’.” I bet Alanis would know the answer.
8.38am GMT
England are trying to get this done before drinks, never mind lunch. Stokes creams a pull straight to deep midwicket, where Cook takes an easy catch.
8.37am GMT
29th over: England 83-6 (Stokes 10, Moeen 0)
8.34am GMT
What a moment for Rabada! He had Bairstow caught at slip off a no-ball the previous delivery but – as with Darren Gough and Greg Blewett on that famous day at Edgbaston in 1997 – he got him again next ball! Bairstow fiddled defensively outside off and thin-edged it through to de Kock. Rabada is the youngest South Africa to take a ten-for in Tests, and he’s now the leading wicket-taker in the series even though he missed the first Test.
8.33am GMT
Rabada has taken 10 wickets in the match!
8.28am GMT
28th over: England 78-5 (Stokes 10, Bairstow 10) Morkel jags one back to ram Stokes in the breadbasket, knocking him off his feet in the process. Stokes then flicks a short one round the corner for four. He won’t die wondering. He probably won’t even die, such is his superhumanity.
“Morning Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’d just been discussing at what point England would finally collapse, crushing our faint hopes under a white, shiny #ECBbranded cricket boot. But looks like we’re in a hurry to have a beer at lunch. I think this series has a lot of questions still, and we should stick with Hales for at least the first Tests of the summer, when he may have white ball runs (we won’t though). Who else is there, bar Compo, and we’ll have two grinders up top. Taylor also, needs sticking with, someone just needs to tell him to calm down a little.”
8.25am GMT
27th over: England 72-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 10) Piedt’s work is done, with Joe Root out, so he’s replaced by Kagiso Rabada. His fourth ball is too straight and pinged imperiously through midwicket for four by Bairstow. He is averaging 87 in this series and, perhaps for the first time, will feel secure in the team – not necessarily as a keeper-batsman, but certainly as a batsman.
“Damn, thought I’d head to the OBO early expecting play to start at 8.30,” says Kevin Wilson. “I was hoping Taylor would score some runs. The last three Tests have been a proper damp squib. He’s found ridiculous ways to get out. Of the three batsmen on the chopping block, he’s the only one I’d really make a case for retaining. Vince is due Compton’s place and heck, anyone might as well open.”
8.20am GMT
26th over: England 64-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 2) Quick poll: do you think Ben Stokes will bat for a draw?
A) No.
8.14am GMT
25th over: England 60-5 (Stokes 0, Bairstow 2) Piedt does seem to cause Root an inordinate amount of difficulty. He was dropped off Piedt’s first ball of the day, but the reprieve didn’t last long. From the third ball of Piedt’s second over, Root went for a big drive and snicked it straight to slip, where Elgar grabebed a sharp chance.
In other news, here’s some more love for Kim Hughes, and one of the greatest innings in Test history.
@robsmyth0 Also this knock. Amazing bit of fielding from Desmond Haynes in there. https://t.co/4q2mdTHqLj
8.13am GMT
Well done AB de Villiers! That was an inspired decision to bowl Piedt to Root, who has been caught at slip playing a loose drive.
8.12am GMT
24th over: England 58-4 (Root 20, Stokes 0) That completes a surprisingly modest series from Taylor, who started with such authority in the first Test. It was never going to be an easy tour for him though, and he deserves more time, particularly with next winter’s trip to Indian in mind.
8.11am GMT
Abbott was only bowling one over so that Morkel could switch ends – and he strikes in his first over. The last delivery kicked from a length to brush the glove as Taylor tried to drop his hands at the last minute, and de Kock took an easy catch. Lovely delivery.
8.06am GMT
23rd over: England 58-3 (Root 20, Taylor 24) Instead of opening the bowling with Morkel and Rabada, AB de Villiers has started with Abbott and Piedt! What an absurd decis- Root is dropped off Piedt’s first ball! He played for turn and got a big edge that de Kock couldn’t hold. Those chances are always tricky for the modern keeper, certainly when the deflection is that big. Piedt ends a good over by beating Root outside off stump.
8.03am GMT
22nd over: England 56-3 (Root 19, Taylor 23) Kyle Abbott will bowl the first over. Not even Chuck Norris could bowl with a hamstring injury, but Abbott is apparently doing so. His second ball, to Taylor, keeps ominously low, and it’s that low bounce that is the reason for Abbott bowling a very tight line. His last ball is too straight and flicked crisply through midwicket for four by Taylor.
7.59am GMT
So, anyway, what’s your team for the first Test of next summer?
I would probably go for Cook, Compton, Taylor, Root, Morgan, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Anderson.
7.56am GMT
Last day, 3 sessions, or 6 hours of the scheduled 85 days, 255 sessions or 510 hours of Test cricket for England since April.
It turned out a lot better than we feared. Five series: two wins, two draws and a defeat. Seventeen Tests: seven wins, three draws and, in all probability, seven defeats.
7.54am GMT
Happy Australia Day!
On this day, 14 years ago, Shane Bond’s life changed with an accidental jaffa to Adam Gilchrist.
3.59pm GMT
Crawl, walk, run. That’s how it used to work. Emerging Test sides had to become hard to beat before they could even contemplate regular victory. Think of Allan Border’s Australia, Nasser Hussain’s England and especially Andrew Strauss’s England, nine down and hanging on for dear draw in 2009-10.
Alastair Cook’s young team do things a little differently. They took a shortcut to the winning part last summer, but they still haven’t really learned how to turn defeats into draws. Since they first came together in 2014 there have been a series of fourth-innings rearguards, 0.00 per cent of which have been successful.
Continue reading...January 24, 2016
South Africa v England: fourth Test, day three – as it happened
4.06pm GMT
That’s it for the day - the umpires have decided to call it quits for day three. Join us tomorrow for an 8:04am GMT start time. Yes, really...
Good bye from me!
Stumps have been removed, that's that....SA 42/1 they lead by 175 runs. Play starts at 10.04 am. Not 10am, 10.04am. Jirre cricket...
3.57pm GMT
Can’t imagine it’ll get brighter so that may be it for the day. The umpires are deliberating in the middle and are casting some cold glances to the TV production assistants who are getting the sponsors boards ready for the post-stumps interviews.
Cricket is so batshit crazy. Just been told we can play until EIGHTEEN mins past six. Not 18:15, 18:20, 18:30. JUST 18:18.
3.53pm GMT
17th over: South Africa 42-1 (Cook 23, Amla 16)
Ali’s around the wicket, too. Not much to report under the final ball, which Cook leaves, thinking the ball has pitched outside leg. It hasn’t – in fact, it’s pitched on middle and leg – and hits Cook’s pad very straight on. End of the over and the umpires have decided to take the players off in the deteriorating light.
3.50pm GMT
16th over: South Africa 42-1 (Cook 23, Amla 16)
Looks like Dharmasena might have “offered” the light because we’ve got spin from both ends now with Joe Root. If Cook had insisted on a quick bowler, we would have come off. Root, around the wicket to the right handed Amla, fires three down the legside. Two byes to start with, then two dots before Amla flashes one past legslip (no chance of a catch) for four.
Injury nes: Abbott has tight hamstring. Participation in match depends on reaction to treatment #SunfoilTest #SAvENG pic.twitter.com/QTpKmxOGrS
3.46pm GMT
15th over: South Africa 36-1 (Cook 23, Amla 12)
Ali comes into the attack as Kumar Dharmasena checks the light. Looking gloomy out in the middle. Bit of spin, just one single worked into the legside for Amla. Jeremy Boyce emails in, after a pretty glorious lunch: “I’m wondering if i’ve overdone it on the mushrooms there, as we seem to have time-slipped, with Woakes bowling the same over twice. Perhaps it’s for real, I reckon we either need to bring on a timelord or Davros to be sure of bagging Amla. or maybe we should play them at the trilogic game, i’m sure Cook could out-think de Villiers over 1400 moves....”
3.41pm GMT
14th over: South Africa 35-1 (Cook 23, Amla 11)
Plan in action: fine leg slip in, James Taylor under the helmet, Ben Stokes bowling short. Cook hops to two deliveries and manages to keep them down. Then just past the outside edge. And drinks...
3.36pm GMT
13th over: South Africa 35-1 (Cook 23, Amla 11)
Woakes persists with an offside channel before going at Amla who picks up one to square leg. The penultimate ball of the over squares Cook up and gets him high on the bat (maybe glove). Ends poorly though, drifting on leg stump and is flicked around the corner for another single.
3.33pm GMT
12th over: South Africa 33-1 (Cook 22, Amla 10)
Stokes moving the ball into the right-handers, but the line allows Cook to leave and then a slip in length allows the debutant to help him around around the corner for a four. Full and quick for the fifth delivery, but this time it moves too much! The final delivery takes off but Cook avoids it outside off stump.
3.28pm GMT
11th over: South Africa 28-1 (Cook 18, Amla 9)
Chris Woakes replaces Anderson. Finds a good length with his second ball, which has Amla neither forward nor back and almost squares him up. Single pinched into the legside, as Stuart Broad, not the fleetest fielder,ducks down to pick and throw, as Cook makes it to the striker’s end. Over ends with a poor ball from Woakes – short, wide, four.
Stephen Cook is so organised at the crease. I wish he'd fix my life.
3.24pm GMT
10th over: South Africa 23-1 (Cook 14, Amla 8)
Ben Stokes into the attack and he immediately sticks one on Amla. His first delivery pops up off a length and crashes into the right thumb (the bottom) and Amla yelps in pain. Straightaway the glove comes off and the phsyio makes his way out. It looks like the nail has come away and there’s a bit of blood. After a few minutes, Amla faces back up and is struck in front: big appeal from the cordon but nothing from the bowler, who chases into the legside to field the ball.
Plan B: if you can't catch him, maim him. #Amla #SAvENG
3.16pm GMT
9th over: South Africa 22-1 (Cook 14, Amla 7)
Amla gets a single off the first ball and, after a bit of pressure, Cook gets one too, benefitting from a poor error from Nick Compton at point, who allows the ball to pass underneath his dive.
3.12pm GMT
8th over: South Africa 19-1 (Cook 12, Amla 6)
Broad gets one to cut through Cook, who exhales into the stump microphone as he doubles over, almost as if it was a punch in the gut. An inside edge then clatters into his boot before he fnishes the over with a lovely shot off the back foot, through cover for four.
3.07pm GMT
7th over: South Africa 15-1 (Cook 8, Amla 6)
Amla hasn’t quite got his timing right and England’s close-in fielders are enticed every time he cocks his bat. A shot into the offside cannons off the inside edge but safely into the legside for two. Right behind the final ball.
3.04pm GMT
6th over: South Africa 13-1 (Cook 8, Amla 4)
Calm and composed from Cook (CTRL+V). Broad is back of a length but Cook manages to control the ball, even while moving back as he plays the shot.
2.59pm GMT
5th over: South Africa 13-1 (Cook 8, Amla 4)
Cook gets off strike, riding the bounce and dropping the first ball into the legside. Amla finds the offside fielders and then pierces the slip cordon to get off the mark! It was an outswinger by Jimmy but just out of the reach of third slip.
Elgar goes to complete a rotten series for South Africa's opening partnerships - 0, 53, 7, 44, 23, 35, 5 167 runs Average 23.9 #SAvENG
2.55pm GMT
4th over: South Africa 8-1 (Cook 7, Amla 0)
Excellent from Cook: Broad punished for drifting onto middle and leg which bring three after good work from Hales to save the boundary. That delivery aside, there’s a good flow to this Broad over. Amla sees it out, but not convincingly.
2.52pm GMT
3rd over: South Africa 5-1 (Cook 4, Amla 0) - lead of 138
Anderson goes around the wicket to Elgar and gets him second ball. Hashim The Dream comes to the crease: 109 in the first innings – what does he have for us here? At the moment, some nice, compact defensive shots.
2.48pm GMT
Belter, from Jimmy - around the wicket to the left-hander, gets one to leave him late and takes the edge through to Bairstow...
2.46pm GMT
2nd over: South Africa 5-0 (Cook 4, Elgar 1)
Real loosener from Stuart Broad allows Elgar to get off the mark. Should have got more than a single for it, though: short, wide and slow, that could have been thwacked through cover or midwicket for a few. Movement from Broad off the pitch, as Cook plays one that shapes in and leaves him. Ends with a beast: quick, short and Cook jumps before trying to adopt the foetal position in mid-air.
2.40pm GMT
1st over: South Africa 4-0 (Cook 4, Elgar 0)
“Those tremors or memories from Johannesburg could come flooding back,” says Michael Atherton, as Stephen Cook leaves the first two deliveries from James Anderson as the third innings of this Test gets underway. The scoring begins with a lovely cut shot by Cook, which he nails in front of point for four.
Since start of 2015, Eng bats have made 63 50+ scores in Test. Converted just 21% into tons. Only WI & Bang lower if my maths right #SAvENG
2.35pm GMT
Tell you what, there are worse 6.6 bets around...
Eng still in the game, just, but need Wanderers type inspiration with the ball.
2.31pm GMT
... and are expected to face about 30-overs this evening. Rabada almost had to be helped up the stairs after his 29 overs, seven for 112. I make it about five minutes for the changeover.
Youngest to take 7 wkts in an inns for SA: K Rabada 20 yrs, 244 days M de Lange 21 yrs, 75 days.
2.28pm GMT
Good move to bring Morne Morkel in to get rid of James Anderson, but he gets off strike with a long single through cover. Ali then tries to hit him over the top but can only find Piedt, who is patrolling deep cover.
2.25pm GMT
104th over: England 341-9 (Ali 61, Anderson 4)
Rabada’s still going. There are men out on the legside fence, which are brought into play as Ali pulls a short length delivery. No single taken, though. Rabada goes wide outside off stump but Ali decides to hold back from giving it the kitchen sink. Two balls left, the field comes in to stop the single and Ali goes over the top of point for four. Moeen has a go at one down the legside but no contact through to de Kock.
2.20pm GMT
103rd over: England 336-9 (Ali 57, Anderson 4)
Duminy makes way for Piedt. Ali tries to dab him fine on the legside but totally misreads the length and the turn, meaning he can only get a leading edge on the ball, which sends it towards the left of where first slip is standing. However, first slip (Dean Elgar) reads the dab and begins to make his way behind the keeper and towards the legside. He stops and dives to his left but to no avail. Four. A bye gives Anderson the last three and, after the fielders are brought in, Jimmy dead bats the lot.
2.17pm GMT
102nd over: England 331-9 (Ali 53, Anderson 4)
Rabada starting his 28th over. The desire is there but the nip is slowly seeping out of him. Ali can thrash across the line and through midwicket for his first fifty of the winter, from 90 balls. Have a blow, Kagiso...
The most overs Rabada has bowled in a first-class innings is 29.5 - and that came in this series, at Newlands. #SAvENG
If Rabada gets 10 wickets in this match he'll be the 12th youngest to do so in a Test
2.13pm GMT
101st over: England 326-9 (Ali 48, Anderson 4)
Ali takes the single on offer at deep square leg, allowing Anderson to face the relatively innocuous Duminy. The third ball, a long hop, is clattered through extra cover for four. Cannot wait to see Jimmy’s reverse sweep... but here’s the slog sweep first. Huge heave, miss and somehow the ball has missed off stump.
2.09pm GMT
100th over: England 321-9 (Ali 47, Anderson 0)
Broad goes to the third ball of the over – on replay, it looks like the ball wasn’t short enough to hook, but Broad got a decent connection on it, right to the man on the square leg fence. There’s a bit of rain falling, as Ali punches down the ground. It looks four off the bat but some swift work across the ground from Temba Bavuma ensures it’s just a single. Anderson, face of thunder, manages to see out the over.
2.06pm GMT
SEVEN FOR RABADA! Incredible – he’s got the best Test figures against England since readmission! Broad goes after a short ball and can only top edge. However, the ball still travels some distance and Cook takes the catch right on the square leg boundary.
2.03pm GMT
99th over: England 320-8 (Ali 46, Broad 5)
My word – first ball after tea and a chance is put down! A full toss from Duminy is punched hard and through Hashim Amla at short cover. Tough, no doubt, but should have been taken. The rest of the over is a bit of a mess. Some news from Kyle Abbott – he has injured his hamstring, reducing South Africa to three frontline bowlers. Expect to see a lot more from Duminy this session...
Moeen trying to injure Hash. Good thinking.
1.39pm GMT
98th over: England 318-8 (Moeen 45, Broad 4)
Well, that’s tea, with England trailing by 157. Vish will be here for the extended final session. Thanks for your company, bye!
1.37pm GMT
97th over: England 318-8 (Moeen 45, Broad 4) Moeen tickles a poor delivery from Duminy to the fine-leg boundary. Just one more over before tea
1.35pm GMT
96th over: England 311-8 (Moeen 39, Broad 3) It’s spin from both ends, with Piedt on for Morkel. A lusty heave from Broad brings just a single, one of three from the over.
1.31pm GMT
95th over: England 308-8 (Moeen 38, Broad 1) The increasingly fluent Moeen steers Duminy to third man for four more.
1.27pm GMT
94th over: England 303-8 (Moeen 34, Broad 0) A misfield from Rabada at mid-off gives Moeen four runs off Morkel. This is his highest score since the Ashes I think, and a sweet pull for four more takes England past 300.
“Well done, Rob,” says John Starbuck. “The curse of OBO strikes again. I was planning to have a glass of Primitivo and some tortellini for lunch during the tea break, but you’ve ruined it now so it looks like being a cheese sandwich instead.”
1.24pm GMT
93rd over: England 295-8 (Moeen 26, Broad 0)
1.22pm GMT
Chris Woakes plays for turn against the new bowler JP Duminy, and that’s a fatal mistake. Well, not fatal, but you know, it’s cost him his wicket. He pushed defensively at a delivery that went straight on from around the wicket to take the edge. It hit the keeper de Kock on the knee and looped up in the air for Elgar at slip to take an easy catch.
1.17pm GMT
92nd over: England 293-7 (Moeen 25, Woakes 25) Morkel replaces Abbott, who left the field looking a bit queasy after that previous over. Actually it seems he may have done something to his hamstring. Woakes greets Morkel with a high-class cover drive for four. He’s playing beautifully for a No9.
1.13pm GMT
91st over: England 286-7 (Moeen 25, Woakes 18) A maiden from Piedt to Moeen. I thought that was tea, but I assume they have extended the session because of the rain.
1.09pm GMT
90th over: England 286-7 (Moeen 25, Woakes 18) Woakes edges a big drive at the new bowler Abbott for four, wide of backward point. These are useful runs because they will delay South Africa’s third-innings declaration and so reduce the time England need to survive batting last. Will we have time for one more over before tea? You betcha.
1.06pm GMT
89th over: England 282-7 (Moeen 25, Woakes 14) ‘Shaky’ Piedt comes into the attack, a slightly surprising move given Moeen’s strengths and weakness, and the newness of the ball. Moeen, on the run, swings Piedt’s second ball effortlessly over mid-off for four. That means England have avoided the follow-on that probably wouldn’t have been enforced anyway.
The next ball is a peach that rags off the straight to beat Moeen’s defensive push. Then Moeen dances down the track again to crunch another four through mid-on. No spinner is safe, when he sashays.
1.02pm GMT
88th over: England 274-7 (Moeen 17, Woakes 14) Rabada was desperate for one more over. “Look in your heart!” he implored AB de Villiers, who granted his request. Nothing happened in the over, though, and he will surely have a rest now. What a discovery he is, not just for South Africa but for Test cricket.
“That sure is a mighty follow-on score,” says Ian Copestake. “Almost as if it keeps getting bigger no matter how many runs England score, like one of those jazzy dolly shots Spielberg always used to do.”
12.57pm GMT
87th over: England 273-7 (need 276 to avoid the follow-on; Moeen 16, Woakes 14) Woakes gets up on his toes to punch Morkel through the covers for four off the back foot. That’s a beautiful, Root-like stroke. He gets in all sorts of trouble with the next ball, a short one that was aimed for his snout. Woakes was caught in approximately 48 minds, and eventually the ball grazed his grille on the way through to de Kock.
12.53pm GMT
86th over: England 267-7 (need 276 to avoid the follow-on; Moeen 16, Woakes 8) Moeen slashes Rabada past backward point for four, a thick edge that landed short of the fielder. There are around 20 minutes to tea, and England now look like they’ll avoid the follow on. But unless it rains significantly, they’ll probably have to survive around 110 overs in the fourth innings, a sizeable ask on a pitch offering low bounce.
@robsmyth0 re: 82nd over A "direct hut"? Typo or are you now spelling phonetically in the SA accent?
12.49pm GMT
85th over: England 262-7 (need 276 to avoid the follow-on; Moeen 12, Woakes 7) Morkel has an LBW appeal against Moeen turned down on the grounds that it wasn’t out in accordance with the laws of the game. It pitched outside leg. Moeen is beaten outside off stump later in the over. Nobody in world cricket wafts so elegantly at fresh air.
“Pretty sure that Stokes is the last first English all-rounder to score 400 runs and take 10 wickets in a series since Freddie in 2005?” says Tom Bowtell. “Averages of 66.66 and 28.5 better than Fred’s too.” True, although shouldn’t it be 400 and 20 to make it a proper all-round performance? Mind you only two England players have ever done that: Flintoff in 2005 and Tony Greig in the Caribbean in 1973-74. And most of the great allrounders never managed it.
12.45pm GMT
84th over: England 260-7 (need 276 to avoid the follow-on; Moeen 10, Woakes 7) Woakes pulls Rabada confidently for four. Whatever some folk think about his bowling, surely everyone will agree that he is a seriously good player to have batting at No9.
“Deciding to play a riotously entertaining cameo at a time when your team is leaking wickets, struggling to reduce a massive deficit and in need of sensible solidity is definitely not a shortcut to greatness,” says Tom Adam. “Pah.”
12.40pm GMT
83rd over: England 253-7 (Moeen 9, Woakes 1) Woakes is dropped by de Kock! He flashed at a short ball from Morkel that took the top-edge on its way through, but the leaping de Kock could only tip it backwards and none of the slips were able to get to it in time.
12.35pm GMT
82nd over: England 253-7 (Moeen 9, Woakes 1) That wicket came with the second new ball, which was taken by Rabada at the start of the over. England need 23 more to avoid the follow on. Ordinarily that wouldn’t happen in a Post Kolkata universe, but as Bumble says on Sky, these overhead conditions are very good for bowling. Rabada reinforces that with a beautiful outswinger that beats the new batsman Woakes, who then gets off the mark with a very dodgy single to de Villiers at midwicket. He would have been out with a direct hut.
12.32pm GMT
If you want a job done properly, get the kid to do it. Rabada has six wickets now! Stokes was tempted into the drive by a good delivery angled across him, and Amla took a comfortable catch at second slip. That was a riotously entertaining cameo from Stokes, 33 from 29 balls.
12.29pm GMT
81st over: England 252-6 (Stokes 33, Moeen 9) AB de Villiers continues with the old ball, and Stokes gives him cause to regret the decision. After a smear over mid-on for four, he charges Piedt and drives a glorious six down the ground. That 258 has given Stokes’s batting such authority, and we will surely reflect on this series as the time he took a shortcut towards greatness. He’s not there yet, but if he doesn’t achieve greatness we might as well all pack up and go home.
12.26pm GMT
80th over: England 241-6 (Stokes 22, Moeen 9) Stokes blitzes a wide half-volley from Morkel through the covers for four. He has screeched to 22 from 21 balls, and now the second new ball is due. I would politely advise you to drop everything for the next half an hour, because this will be fun.
12.21pm GMT
79th over: England 236-6 (Stokes 17, Moeen 9) Moeen needs a score, as his batting average is going in the wrong direction. You have to cut him a fair bit of slack as he has been England’s Polyfilla in the last year, but he is averaging something like 14 this winter.
12.19pm GMT
78th over: England 236-6 (Stokes 17, Moeen 9) Stokes chips Morkel lazily over midwicket for four. You’d expect him to go hard at the second new ball, and there is an argument for not taking it while Stokes is in.
Stokes has the chance of breaking a few records in this match: most runs by an English No6 in a Test series, most runs by any No6 in a series of three or four Tests, highest strike rate by any batsman with 400 runs in a Test series.
12.15pm GMT
77th over: England 232-6 (Stokes 13, Moeen 9) Piedt bowls the final ball of the over he started before the rain. Nothing happens.
12.13pm GMT
In other news, here’s a shameless plug
12.13pm GMT
Hello, Rob here again until tea. In sport, we often say that a strength can be a weakness. Occasionally the reverse is true too. This England team have a strong weakness: they are useless when they have already won the series. It’s not ideal, but, as all us 1990s English cricket vets will tell you, it could be worse.
11.51am GMT
Promising scenes at Centurion where the covers are being slowly but deliberately peeled off.
The news is that they will try and get play started in about 25 minutes time (12:15pm GMT).
11.36am GMT
The players have headed for shelter as the rest of the ground erect their own personal covers (umbrellas, I suppose). Will update you when I know more.
For now, head over to our BBL05 OBO, which is moving into squeaky bum time...
11.29am GMT
That seemed to come from nowhere. The cameras were showing some clouds but, just like that, the heavens open and we’re off in the middle of this Dane Piedt over. He started with a full toss which was guided for four by Moeen Ali. The players are hanging around on the edge of the ground but there are a few big covers coming on.
11.26am GMT
76th over: England 228-6 (Stokes 13, Ali 5)
A clip to midwicket for Stokes (single) and then a lovely push through the covers by Ali (three) get this Rabada over going. Stokes goes after a short ball for two more, rolling his wrists as the ball stays down through square leg. Rabada’s not happy and tries to force the issue and strays offline, allowing Stokes to work him around the corner for four.
The braai smoke at Centurion has finally made it gloomy enough that the lights are starting to come on.
11.21am GMT
75th over: England 218-6 (Stokes 6, Ali 2)
Abbott, around the wicket to the lefties, is ensuring there’s little width for Ali to go at. Every now and again, like his fourth ball here, he offers a bit of rope on a good length which Ali duly goes after. Luckily for the batsman, ball beats bat. Maiden.
11.17am GMT
74th over: England 218-6 (Stokes 6, Ali 2)
Rabada nearly picks up where he left off as a delivery sticks in the pitch and Ali inadvertently chips it towards AB de Villiers at a wide mid on. Luckily for Ali, de Villiers reacts late and is unable to make up the ground. The next two are played a bit closer to the body, allowing Ali to keep the ball on the deck. He ducks under a bouncer and then pushes a single off his hip.
11.14am GMT
73rd over: England 217-6 (Stokes 6, Ali 1)
“What’s wrong with ‘Ask Alanis Morissette’?” asks Ask Dan Lucas. “If you need advice, she oughta know.” Ali and Stokes exchange singles as they try to clean up the mess England’s top-order made when they went away. Ali gets off strike with a tuck into the legside before Stokes straight drives – on the up – through the legs of Abbott for four.
11.09am GMT
Afternoon (session), all. Vithushan here to pick up where Rob Smyth left off (yes, I’m feeling the pressure).
What a morning for Kagiso Rabada. Ben Stokes and Moeen Ali are your would-be saviours for now. The players are out in the middle and Kyle Abbott is scuffing out his run-up.
10.55am GMT
“Ask Greg Blewett?” says Selve. “Better than Ask Alanis Morissette.”
10.30am GMT
What a scintillating spell from Rabada. He has taken three for none in two overs. Twenty minutes ago the match was almost even. Now South Africa have effectively won the match. Thanks for your company, see you this afternoon. Vithushan Ehantharajah will be with you for the first hour after lunch. Ask Greg Blewett.
“For some reason I find it immensely satisfying to read a paragraph that ends with ‘Ask Greg Blewett,” says Peter Salmon. “I’d like to see more.”
10.30am GMT
WICKET! England 211-6 (Bairstow c de Kock b Rabada 0)
South Africa have found a superstar. Rabada gets his second five-for in as many Tests with the wicket of Jonny Bairstow, who tried to drop the gloves on a terrific off-cutter that followed him, brushed the thumb and was taken comfortably by de Kock.
10.25am GMT
This is a poor stroke from James Taylor on the stroke of lunch. He toe-ends an attempted hook at the excellent Rabada, and de Kock takes an easy catch. That ball was a bit too short for Taylor to control the hook stroke even if he had connected properly. As it transpired he was through the shot too early anyway.
10.22am GMT
71st over: England 211-4 (Taylor 14, Stokes 1) The new ball will be due shortly after lunch, which is a worry for England. Dane Piedt is coming back into the attack, with the left-handed Stokes in mind. He swishes a single, and Taylor drives another. That’s all folks.
10.18am GMT
70th over: England 209-4 (Taylor 13, Stokes 0) There are 15 minutes until lunch. Will Ben Stokes play sensibly until the interval? Is the Pope a Grateful Dead-loving whackjob?
10.14am GMT
Ach! Root has gone for the same score as Cook, caught behind off Rabada. It was a good delivery, on a full length and seaming away just enough to take the outside edge. The keeper de Kock did the rest. It’s easy to say that Root has failed to convert a fifty into a hundred, but that was a fine piece of bowling.
10.12am GMT
69th over: England 208-3 (Root 76, Taylor 13)
10.10am GMT
68th over: England 205-3 (Root 74, Taylor 12) Root, attempting to drive, is beaten by a grubber from Rabada that goes under the bat. There is nothing a batsman can do about those deliveries if they are straight. Ask Greg Blewett.
10.05am GMT
67th over: England 204-3 (Root 73, Taylor 12) With two right-handers now at the crease, Dane Piedt is replaced by the part-time spinner Dean Elgar. Just one from the over.
“If we are going to start using boxing terms let’s go the whole hog,” says Richard Mansell. “Left-handers are now southpaws. Fragile batsmen have glass jaws, and bowlers can deliver a terrific combination of balls to knock out batsmen.” Don’t be silly: next you’ll be suggesting batsmen should have walk-on music! Can you imagine anything quite so vulgar?
10.02am GMT
66th over: England 203-3 (Root 72, Taylor 12) Rabada replaces Morkel, a bit of a surprise as Taylor is on strike. This is an intriguing period, with half an hour to lunch and the new ball due in 14 overs’ time.
9.58am GMT
65th over: England 201-3 (Root 72, Taylor 10) Root, on the charge, drives Piedt sweetly through extra cover for four to bring up the 200.
“And in the parlance of an earlier time, Taylor might be said to have beans in his ears,” says John Starbuck. “There was an old song about it but you’d be too young to know it.”
9.55am GMT
It was a poor delivery from Piedt, spinning down the leg side. Root tried to help it round the corner and a moment later the ball was in de Kock’s gloves. It was a terrific take, because he was blinded, but I think Root missed it. There is nothing on UltraEdge, so you would expect this to be overturned. Yes, Root is not out.
9.53am GMT
Root reviewed this instantly.
9.51am GMT
64th over: England 193-3 (Root 65, Taylor 9) Morkel has Taylor in his sights again. Taylor fresh-airs a very loose swivel pull, the first indication that, in the parlance of our time, his beans are going. He smiles a little nervously when, later in the over, Morkel jags one back to hit him in the stomach. He survives the over though, and that will do: Morkel has bowled five in this spell so Taylor just needs to see him off.
9.47am GMT
63rd over: England 192-3 (Root 64, Taylor 9) Taylor gives Piedt the charge and drives him assertively over mid-on for four. Cracking shot, that. Even if Taylor has a modest summer, we should bear in mind the medium-term: five Tests in India next winter, probably on vile turners, so his expertise against spin will be so important.
‘”No milestone for Alastair Cook today,’” says Damian Clarke of my entry for Cook’s wicket. “There’s still time :/”
9.44am GMT
Andrew Strauss on Cricinfo's #BBLfinal ball-by-ball comms by the looks of it. Or Paul Downton. Or Matt Prior. pic.twitter.com/UfDbhWRvdf
All BBB/OBOers have done it. And at least theirs was on a shot rather than a cut.
9.43am GMT
62nd over: England 187-3 (Root 63, Taylor 5) That wicket has focussed Morkel’s mind and he’s bowling beautifully now. Taylor ducks while in mid-air to avoid a vicious bouncer, and then gloves a lifter not far short of slip. He played that well because it got very big on him. Terrific over from Morkel.
“Flipping between this & BBL,” says Niall Mullen. “Seems like Cook & KP got out almost simultaneously. Maybe they’ve a Skype date planned?”
9.39am GMT
61st over: England 187-3 (Root 63, Taylor 4) A close shave for Root, who slog-sweeps Piedt just over the leaping de Villiers at midwicket. Piedt is bowling nicely here. From the rubble of this series, South Africa have found a few players who have a chance of successful Test careers: Piedt, Cook, de Kock, Bavuma, Rabada. Root ends the over with a better, safer sweep behind square for four.
“Thankfully can return to the attrition of boxing, sorry Test cricket, as Pietersen is now out,” says Ian Copetake. “The boy did good though. 70 off 3 balls no less.”
Related: Big Bash League final: Melbourne Stars v Sydney Thunder – live!
9.36am GMT
60th over: England 181-3 (Root 58, Taylor 4) This is an important innings for James Taylor, who has quietly had a modest series with the bat: 148 runs at 29.60. He gets going by thrashing his first delivery from Morkel whence it came for four.
9.29am GMT
No milestone for Alastair Cook today. After a poor start to his spell, Morkel produces a beauty from around the wicket that straightens a touch and bounces sharply to take the edge of Cook’s defensive push on its way through to the keeper de Kock.
Garbage from Morkel followed by a snorter - dangerous combination
9.27am GMT
59th over: England 176-2 (Cook 76, Root 58) Piedt looks dangerous to the left-handed Cook because of the turn and bounce. Cook takes on the cut, a shot that has got him in trouble on bouncy pitches against the offspin of Nathan Lyon in the past, but this is perfectly controlled for a single.
9.26am GMT
58th over: England 174-2 (Cook 75, Root 57) There has been a lot of talk about Root’s conversion rate of fifties and hundreds in recent times. It’s 32 per cent, which is perfectly acceptable really. Back in the middle, Morkel has an LBW shout against Cook turned down. South Africa could not risk their final review because of the absurd review in Morkel’s previous over. Not that it mattered: the ball was clipping the bails so it would have stayed as umpire’s call.
9.20am GMT
57th over: England 173-2 (Cook 75, Root 56) The offspinner Dane Piedt comes on to replace Abbott, who bowled an excellent spell bar one poor over. England are pottering along nicely, with the deficit about to drop below 300. They bat deep – if not especially wide, as the averages of all bar Cook and Root suggest – and are capable of getting close to South Africa’s 475, even on this awkward pitch. Saying which, Piedt’s fifth delivery, to Cook, bounces absurdly from off middle stump. De Kock had to take that at neck height.
“Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “I think the thing that appeals most about Root is his impish enthusiasm. There is a certain resemblance to Derek Randall about him, the barely contained nervous energy and skittish feet. It certainly brings a wonderful edge to his batting. I confess to have a large amount of man love for him.” Yes, he reminds us what the word ‘sport’ used to mean. Yet he also – and this might be his most impressive trick – manages to be seriously hard-nosed as well. It’s pretty rare to see a fun-loving hardass in sport.
9.15am GMT
56th over: England 171-2 (Cook 74, Root 55) Cook gets his first boundary, flicking another straight delivery from Morkel to fine leg. “An uppercut?” sniffs Richard Mansell. “Isn’t that from boxing?” It is. So are ‘shot’, ‘hook’, ‘swing’ and ‘Judge’, and they all apply to cricket too.
9.12am GMT
Rabada’s 16-run over is his last of that spell, with Morne Morkel replacing him. He immediately tries his leg-theory to Cook, and there’s an appeal for a catch by de Kock as Cook falls over. Morkel wants to review, and he has persuaded de Villiers to do so. It’s an awful review, because Cook missed it by a mile. Oh well.
9.12am GMT
55th over: England 166-2 (Cook 70, Root 55) Much more of this and South Africa will start to think the unthinkable for the first time. In the 20th century, a first-innings total of 475 pretty much granted immunity from defeat. Not anymore, as South Africa know from previous series against England.
“The worst thing about being tempted to praise Pietersen,” says Ian Copestake, “is that one gets a notion of what it is to be Piers Morgan.”
9.05am GMT
54th over: England 165-2 (Cook 69, Root 55) An escape for Root, who slices Rabada just wide of the diving Duminy at gully and away for four. He makes it consecutive boundaries with a majestic square drive off the back foot, and another high-class back-foot punch, this time through extra cover for three, takes him to the usual half-century. There’s not really anything new to be said about a quite brilliant cricketer. He completes Rabada’s over with another fabulous square drive. Sixteen from the over!
You just knew, somehow, that Cook and Root would shake hands there, not punch gloves
Ball coming off so two-paced easy to see a leading edge happening here.
9.02am GMT
53rd over: England 149-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) There’s a little bit of drizzle at Centurion. England know all about that: the games in 1995-96 and 1999-2000 were almost entirely washed out. We remember the second game because of Hansie Cronje’s full leather jacket; Graeme Hick’s storming 141 in the first of those Tests deserves to be recalled with a bit more fondness.
Anyway, after one poor over Abbott gets back to his stump-to-stump best: Cook has to defend one excellent inducker and is then beaten by a delivery that hits a crack and goes like an off-break.
8.57am GMT
52nd over: England 149-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) “With apologies to England, I am watching Luke Wright at the Big Bash,” writes Ian Copetake. “Pietersen is also batting. Well I was watching Luke Wright. He is out now.”
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8.53am GMT
51st over: England 148-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) There’s a delay while the ball is changed, having gone out of shape. While that’s happening, Root receives some treatment on his hand. He was hit on the glove by Rabada from the final ball of the previous over, but he’s fine to carry on and he square-drives Abbott crisply for the first boundary of the day. He secretes class when he plays shots like that, and he ends the over with an extravagant uppercut for four more. His Test average of 56 is easily the highest in this England team. Cook averages 47 and the rest are all below 35.
“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Guy Hornsby. “Crucial morning for England and Cook, who I’d dearly love to see pass that mighty mark this morning, with the ball ducking and diving. I’m definitely up, with things to do and places to go (honest) with the OBO & TMS as my trusty steed. I didn’t even make the end of MOTD last night, giddy times. This is what awaits in your forties. Mortality.” Whatever, old man. Some of us are still in our thirties. For three more days.
8.46am GMT
50th over: England 140-2 (Cook 68, Root 32) Cook flicks Rabada for a single, England’s first run of the morning from the 23rd delivery. Root joins the orgy of runs with another single off the next ball.
Every time that Kyle Abbott bowls I start singing Shake You Down by Gregory Abbott and it is driving me (and my wife) insane @robsmyth0
8.42am GMT
49th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) This is excellent from Abbott, who is making Root play at almost every delivery, and it’s a third consecutive maiden. South Africa will hope that they can join the dots until they read W-I-C-K-E-T.
8.39am GMT
48th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) The impressive Kagiso Rabada will share the ageing ball with Kyle Abbott. He also starts with a maiden, to Cook, even if the over was not quite as challenging as Abbott’s to Root.
You’re all still in bed, aren’t you.
8.35am GMT
47th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) The first ball of the day, from Kyle Abbott, beats Root’s indeterminate defensive push. It’s overcast at Centurion, so this could be a tricky morning for England. Abbott is bowling very straight, knowing that any significant uneven bounce will probably bring a wicket. The fifth ball does keep a little low and Root has to jab down a little desperately.
8.30am GMT
Breaking news: Kevin Pietersen is batting.
Related: Big Bash League final: Melbourne Stars v Sydney Thunder – live!
8.17am GMT
Jack Bannister RIP
8.01am GMT
Ten years ago in March, a 21-year-old called Alastair Cook made a century on Test debut. From that moment it was clear he was different to the other boys, and that he was going to score thousands of Test runs. Now he is on the brink of reaching ten thousand.
Cook, who made an immaculate 67 not out yesterday, needs 50 more runs to become the first Englishman to reach one of Test cricket’s biggest milestones, England need plenty from him if they are to save the match on a pitch that is already offering some low bounce. They resume on 138 for two, still 337 runs behind. By tonight, we’ll have a better idea whether they can draw or maybe even win this game.
Continue reading...South Africa v England: fourth Test, day three – live!
9.29am GMT
No milestone for Alastair Cook today. After a poor start to his spell, Morkel produces a beauty from around the wicket that straightens a touch and bounces sharply to take the edge of Cook’s defensive push on its way through to the keeper de Kock.
9.27am GMT
59th over: England 176-2 (Cook 76, Root 58) Piedt looks dangerous to the left-handed Cook because of the turn and bounce. Cook takes on the cut, a shot that has got him in trouble on bouncy pitches against the offspin of Nathan Lyon in the past, but this is perfectly controlled for a single.
9.26am GMT
58th over: England 174-2 (Cook 75, Root 57) There has been a lot of talk about Root’s conversion rate of fifties and hundreds in recent times. It’s 32 per cent, which is perfectly acceptable really. Back in the middle, Morkel has an LBW shout against Cook turned down. South Africa could not risk their final review because of the absurd review in Morkel’s previous over. Not that it mattered: the ball was clipping the bails so it would have stayed as umpire’s call.
9.20am GMT
57th over: England 173-2 (Cook 75, Root 56) The offspinner Dane Piedt comes on to replace Abbott, who bowled an excellent spell bar one poor over. England are pottering along nicely, with the deficit about to drop below 300. They bat deep – if not especially wide, as the averages of all bar Cook and Root suggest – and are capable of getting close to South Africa’s 475, even on this awkward pitch. Saying which, Piedt’s fifth delivery, to Cook, bounces absurdly from off middle stump. De Kock had to take that at neck height.
“Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “I think the thing that appeals most about Root is his impish enthusiasm. There is a certain resemblance to Derek Randall about him, the barely contained nervous energy and skittish feet. It certainly brings a wonderful edge to his batting. I confess to have a large amount of man love for him.” Yes, he reminds us what the word ‘sport’ used to mean. Yet he also – and this might be his most impressive trick – manages to be seriously hard-nosed as well. It’s pretty rare to see a fun-loving hardass in sport.
9.15am GMT
56th over: England 171-2 (Cook 74, Root 55) Cook gets his first boundary, flicking another straight delivery from Morkel to fine leg. “An uppercut?” sniffs Richard Mansell. “Isn’t that from boxing?” It is. So are ‘shot’, ‘hook’, ‘swing’ and ‘Judge’, and they all apply to cricket too.
9.12am GMT
Rabada’s 16-run over is his last of that spell, with Morne Morkel replacing him. He immediately tries his leg-theory to Cook, and there’s an appeal for a catch by de Kock as Cook falls over. Morkel wants to review, and he has persuaded de Villiers to do so. It’s an awful review, because Cook missed it by a mile. Oh well.
9.12am GMT
55th over: England 166-2 (Cook 70, Root 55) Much more of this and South Africa will start to think the unthinkable for the first time. In the 20th century, a first-innings total of 475 pretty much granted immunity from defeat. Not anymore, as South Africa know from previous series against England.
“The worst thing about being tempted to praise Pietersen,” says Ian Copestake, “is that one gets a notion of what it is to be Piers Morgan.”
9.05am GMT
54th over: England 165-2 (Cook 69, Root 55) An escape for Root, who slices Rabada just wide of the diving Duminy at gully and away for four. He makes it consecutive boundaries with a majestic square drive off the back foot, and another high-class back-foot punch, this time through extra cover for three, takes him to the usual half-century. There’s not really anything new to be said about a quite brilliant cricketer. He completes Rabada’s over with another fabulous square drive. Sixteen from the over!
You just knew, somehow, that Cook and Root would shake hands there, not punch gloves
Ball coming off so two-paced easy to see a leading edge happening here.
9.02am GMT
53rd over: England 149-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) There’s a little bit of drizzle at Centurion. England know all about that: the games in 1995-96 and 1999-2000 were almost entirely washed out. We remember the second game because of Hansie Cronje’s full leather jacket; Graeme Hick’s storming 141 in the first of those Tests deserves to be recalled with a bit more fondness.
Anyway, after one poor over Abbott gets back to his stump-to-stump best: Cook has to defend one excellent inducker and is then beaten by a delivery that hits a crack and goes like an off-break.
8.57am GMT
52nd over: England 149-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) “With apologies to England, I am watching Luke Wright at the Big Bash,” writes Ian Copetake. “Pietersen is also batting. Well I was watching Luke Wright. He is out now.”
Related: Big Bash League final: Melbourne Stars v Sydney Thunder – live!
8.53am GMT
51st over: England 148-2 (Cook 68, Root 40) There’s a delay while the ball is changed, having gone out of shape. While that’s happening, Root receives some treatment on his hand. He was hit on the glove by Rabada from the final ball of the previous over, but he’s fine to carry on and he square-drives Abbott crisply for the first boundary of the day. He secretes class when he plays shots like that, and he ends the over with an extravagant uppercut for four more. His Test average of 56 is easily the highest in this England team. Cook averages 47 and the rest are all below 35.
“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Guy Hornsby. “Crucial morning for England and Cook, who I’d dearly love to see pass that mighty mark this morning, with the ball ducking and diving. I’m definitely up, with things to do and places to go (honest) with the OBO & TMS as my trusty steed. I didn’t even make the end of MOTD last night, giddy times. This is what awaits in your forties. Mortality.” Whatever, old man. Some of us are still in our thirties. For three more days.
8.46am GMT
50th over: England 140-2 (Cook 68, Root 32) Cook flicks Rabada for a single, England’s first run of the morning from the 23rd delivery. Root joins the orgy of runs with another single off the next ball.
Every time that Kyle Abbott bowls I start singing Shake You Down by Gregory Abbott and it is driving me (and my wife) insane @robsmyth0
8.42am GMT
49th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) This is excellent from Abbott, who is making Root play at almost every delivery, and it’s a third consecutive maiden. South Africa will hope that they can join the dots until they read W-I-C-K-E-T.
8.39am GMT
48th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) The impressive Kagiso Rabada will share the ageing ball with Kyle Abbott. He also starts with a maiden, to Cook, even if the over was not quite as challenging as Abbott’s to Root.
You’re all still in bed, aren’t you.
8.35am GMT
47th over: England 138-2 (Cook 67, Root 31) The first ball of the day, from Kyle Abbott, beats Root’s indeterminate defensive push. It’s overcast at Centurion, so this could be a tricky morning for England. Abbott is bowling very straight, knowing that any significant uneven bounce will probably bring a wicket. The fifth ball does keep a little low and Root has to jab down a little desperately.
8.30am GMT
Breaking news: Kevin Pietersen is batting.
Related: Big Bash League final: Melbourne Stars v Sydney Thunder – live!
8.17am GMT
Jack Bannister RIP
8.01am GMT
Ten years ago in March, a 21-year-old called Alastair Cook made a century on Test debut. From that moment it was clear he was different to the other boys, and that he was going to score thousands of Test runs. Now he is on the brink of reaching ten thousand.
Cook, who made an immaculate 67 not out yesterday, needs 50 more runs to become the first Englishman to reach one of Test cricket’s biggest milestones, England need plenty from him if they are to save the match on a pitch that is already offering some low bounce. They resume on 138 for two, still 337 runs behind. By tonight, we’ll have a better idea whether they can draw or maybe even win this game.
Continue reading...January 23, 2016
Leicester 3-0 Stoke, Málaga 1-2 Barcelona and more: clockwatch – as it happened
Leicester went top, Manchester United lost and Dele Alli scored a glorious goal for Spurs
5.02pm GMT
Right, that’s it from me. The big story will probably be Manchester United losing, but it should be Dele Alli’s beautiful goal and Leicester going to top again. Thanks for your company; you can read freshly baked match reports here in the next 10 or 15 minutes. Night!
4.58pm GMT
Premier League
Crystal Palace 1-3 Spurs
Leicester 3-0 Stoke
Man Utd 0-1 Southampton
Sunderland 1-1 Bournemouth
Watford 2-1 Newcastle
West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa
4.58pm GMT
The 5.30pm kick off
Related: West Ham United v Manchester City: Premier League – live!
4.57pm GMT
FULL TIME: Barça win 2-1 at Málaga thanks to goals from Munir (2') and Messi (51') - Juanpi (32') for home side pic.twitter.com/MLDpgGTRl8
4.54pm GMT
“The United players walk off to sustained applause at Tannadice after a 5-1 thrashing of Kilmarnock, doing that clap above the head thing that footballers do,” says Simon McMahon. “It’s not quite Boxing Day and Steve McQueen yet, more like Bonfire Night, but still ...”
4.54pm GMT
Southampton win at Old Trafford again! Charlie Austin, a bargain at £4m, came off the bench to score a late winner. Louis van Gaal isn’t exactly being overwhelmed with goodwill as he walks towards the tunnel.
4.52pm GMT
Adnan Januzaj has missed a chance for Manchester United at Old Trafford.
4.52pm GMT
Nacer Chadli completes a brilliant performance from Spurs.
4.51pm GMT
Leicester are top of the Premier League again.
4.50pm GMT
One day, somebody will write a book on the 100,000 greatest 0-0 draws. This match will not be in it.
4.49pm GMT
Sorry, I’m still high on that Dele Alli goal. No more goals in the Premier League, so as things stand Spurs are right in the title race.
4.48pm GMT
“Me again,” says Patrick Rennie. “After you dug out that Kewell goal I started hunting for a long forgotten (almost) goal. Anyone remember when Gary Neville almost lobbed Buffon from 25 yards out? Here it is (3m45s).”
4.45pm GMT
The substitute Charlie Austin scores on his debut! “Why did no-one else come in for him?” screams Charlie Nicholas. It was a fine header, and Southampton are set for consecutive 1-0 wins at Old Trafford in the Premier League.
4.45pm GMT
Leicester compound Stoke’s misery.
4.44pm GMT
I’ve just seen the Dele Alli goal. Madon, it is glorious! No wonder Matt Le Tissier was clapping: it’s the best Le Tissier goal that he never scored.
4.43pm GMT
“That Huth free-kick was awful,” says Graham Randall, “but are you gonna tell him he can’t take them in future?”
4.42pm GMT
“Dennis Bergkamp-esque!” screams Phil Thompson. Matt Le Tissier is clapping in the Sky studio. “You should get two goals for that,” says Jeff Stelling. It was a stunning turn or volley, or so my snouts tell me. and should give Spurs a deserved win. Never mind Leicester, it would be almost as refreshing if Spurs were to win the league.
4.40pm GMT
“You can’t do that,” says Paul Merson. “You can’t do that.” Apparently he hit the corner flag on the other side of the pitch, while going for goal.
Jose Mourinho put him up front in the Nou Camp once.
4.38pm GMT
“You’re right,” says Matt Dony. “Kewell struggled when he moved to a big club, but probably would’ve thrived at United...”
It’s just banter.
4.36pm GMT
Leicester’s next three games are Liverpool (H), Man City (A) and Arsenal (A). If they pick up, say, seven or even five points from those games, something brilliant really might be happening.
After that they have a really good run of fixtures: Norwich, West Brom, Watford, Newcastle, Palace, Southampton, Sunderland, West Ham, Swansea, Man Utd, Everton and Chelsea on the last day of the season.
4.34pm GMT
“Thanks for reminding me about that Kewell goal,” says Matt Dony. “He really was fantastic for Leeds. I remember being so excited at his Big Announcement about joining Liverpool. Harry ‘fit-for-the-finals’ Kewell. Never lived up to the thrillingly creative promise. See also, Fernando Morientes and Joe Cole.”
I wonder how different his life might have been if he hadn’t turned down United. He was magnificent for Leeds, especially from 1998 to 2000.
4.33pm GMT
Finally some intent & change of pace at Old Trafford. From a mouse. pic.twitter.com/OWAnvh88f2
4.31pm GMT
At Selhurst Park, Conor Wickham has elbowed Jan Vertonghen in the face. Phil Thompson on Sky says he’ll be facing retrospective punishment for that.
Meanwhile, Jamie Ward has given Nottingham Forest the lead at Middlesbrough. It’s still 0-0 at Old Trafford. Of course it is. “Oh, Rob, that it’s come to this,” writes Mac Millings. “Fergie’s last game was a 10-goal thriller.”
4.29pm GMT
James Wilson – yes, Manchester United’s James Wilson – has put Brighton 2-1 ahead at home to Huddersfield.
4.29pm GMT
I missed that goal but Newcastle are back in the game.
It’s just like being there, isn’t it?
4.28pm GMT
“Greetings from Thailand,” says Rob McEvoy. “I remember this goal from a very young Alessandro Del Piero.”
4.26pm GMT
Jamie Vardy ends his drought with an excellent goal, outpacing the Stoke defence before going round Butland to score. When you peruse your Sunday newspaper tomorrow, Leicester will be top of the Premier League.
4.25pm GMT
Orient are winning 1-0 at Wycombe in Kevin Nolan’s first game. Meanwhile, in Leicester...
4.23pm GMT
There’s been a goal at Old Trafford #hoax
Eleven games without a first-half goal at home!
4.23pm GMT
“As a Forest fan, the Foxes are bringing back fond memories of the 1977-78 season when we were promoted from the second division and promptly won the whole caboodle,” says Mark Turner. “Particular memories of Bob Wilson on Grandstand every Saturday lunchtime asking the world ‘When will the Forest bubble burst?’. It didn’t.”
4.21pm GMT
Southampton should be ahead at Old Trafford, but Victor Wanyama has wasted a great noggin-based chance.
4.21pm GMT
A fierce header from Harry Kane gives Spurs a deserved equaliser at Selhurst Park.
It’s also Cardiff 2-2 Rotherham, and Anthony Pilkington has scored three of them: two at the right end and one in his own net. He needs one more own goal to match Chris Nicholl.
4.19pm GMT
“I always loved this goal from Pires,” says Patrick Rennie. “My favourite forgotten goal is Kewell for Leeds vs Arsenal at the end if the 02/03 season. Beautiful volley. But after a solid 45 seconds of searching YouTube I gave up and went for the Pires one instead.”
4.18pm GMT
Never mind #thepusher, someone in Manchester is killing off full-backs one by one. Matteo Darmian has been stretchered off.
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
4.17pm GMT
“Poor old Vermaelen is scapegoated, but the half-time tonic dispensed by Luis Enrique seems to have had the required effect,” says Charles Antaki. “Suárez, Iniesta and Messi have actually been on the ball in something approaching their usual miraculous fashion, and a goal ensues. Meanwhile Vermaelen sits on the bench and ponders what he might have done wrong in a previous life.”
I know how he feels. Bet he’s never had to do a Clockwatch.
4.15pm GMT
Manchester United can’t score for love nor money but their exes can: first Danny Drinkwater and now Craig Cathcart, who has bulldozed Watford into a 2-0 lead against Newcastle.
4.14pm GMT
In a textbook demonstration of the principles of cause and effect, Manchester United have played much better since Juan Mata replaced Marouane Fellaini.
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
4.12pm GMT
“My favourite goal that no one else seems to remember was a ridiculous Lilian Nalis volley on the turn from about a million yards out, against Leeds, around 2003,” says Matt Dony. “I also remember it wasn’t the only screamer scored that day. It was an entertaining Match of the Day. As fantastic as that was, how many Leicester fans of the time imagined this season happening?”
4.11pm GMT
GOAAALLLL! Leo Messi scores with a volley!!! Barça are back in front at 2-1! #MálagaFCB #FCBlive pic.twitter.com/WQQQtwZLHr
4.10pm GMT
Apropos very little, this is the greatest tackle of all time.
4.08pm GMT
Barça have made a change at half time - Vermaelen is off and Jérémy Mathieu is on #MálagaFCB #FCBlive
4.07pm GMT
Our Sky feed has gone down. Oh well, that’s all from me then. Thanks for your emails, bye!
4.06pm GMT
As things stand, Leicester are 22 points ahead of the champions Chelsea.
“I’m not sure how forgotten this goal is,” says Joe Macey, “but I’ve always liked it...”
4.04pm GMT
Odion Ighalo has given Watford the lead with a possibly offside goal. They will not care one solitary iota about that.
4.03pm GMT
“More surprising than Hellas Verona was 1. FC Kaiserslautern who won the Bundesliga in 1997/98 after being promoted the previous season,” says Florian Ranft.
3.54pm GMT
“If Leicester City win the league this season, where do they fare among the most shocking, out-of-nowhere title wins ever in Europe?” says Mikhail Ridhuan. “The only probable comparison I could think of off the top of my head is Hellas Verona in 1984-85.”
I think this would be even more shocking, given the inequality of modern football. Sometimes we do overstate the significance of events, but in this case I can’t think of anything that would trump them - which is partly because it isn’t going to happen.
3.51pm GMT
Premier League
Crystal Palace 1-0 Spurs
Leicester 1-0 Stoke
Man Utd 0-0 Southampton
Sunderland 1-1 Bournemouth
Watford 0-0 Newcastle
West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa
3.50pm GMT
HT scores in #MUFC's last 11 home games: 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-1 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 (Zzzzzzz) pic.twitter.com/WgIeE6QN0P
The way things are going, United should replace Louis van Gaal with Brian Eno.
3.46pm GMT
Two in two games for Patrick van Aanholt, and an important goal for Sunderland just before half-time.
3.45pm GMT
Can Manchester United score? They never score.
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
3.44pm GMT
“Vermaelen’s comedy routine has infected the rest of the Barcelona defence,” says Charles Antaki, “and under severe Malaga pressure the gaps are opening. There is so little play in Malaga’s half that you’d imagine that Iniesta, Messi and Suárez weren’t actually on the pitch. Malaga are something of a hoodoo team for Barcelona, and they’re taking some delight in showing it.”
3.44pm GMT
“Seems like not too many people care about what surely has to be the biggest game of the day, the West Midlands derby,” says JR in Illinois. “Well, I’m watching it. At the beginning I would have described the game as poor. It then became desperate. Shortly after that it turned diabolical, quickly followed by shocking, and then morphed into an abomination. Now it has become truly fugly. Can’t wait for the second half!”
3.42pm GMT
Come on Leicester! Claudio Ranieri’s team are going back to the top of the league as things stand after a deflected long-range strike from Danny Drinkwater.
3.41pm GMT
At Selhurst Park, Spurs are slaughtering Palace 0-1.
3.41pm GMT
“Here’s a little-known goal you might like,” says Mikael Rialland.
That’s a belter. Actually, wasn’t that in Amelie?
3.40pm GMT
“I know it’s a football blog, but I’m watching the bowls on BBC1,” says Andrew, correctly identifying this clockwatch as a freeform shambles. “This is still my favourite YouTube clip of all time.”
3.39pm GMT
Sadio Mane has missed the best/only chance at Old Trafford. Tim Hill has the latest.
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
3.37pm GMT
Have some of that, Sebastiano Nela.
3.34pm GMT
min 32; Goal Málaga - 1-1, Juanpi gets the equaliser #MálagaFCB #FCBlive
3.33pm GMT
“Over at Málaga v Barcelona, a priceless acrobatic twist and pike from old friend Vermaelen as he tumbles backwards and misses the ball,” writes Charles Antaki. “Then the Málaga attacker he lets through returns the compliment and falls over in the box, earning a card for diving. Otherwise as you were, Barça ahead 1-0.”
3.31pm GMT
There have been no goals at Old Trafford, and the scoreline flatters what has been a dismal game so far.
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
3.30pm GMT
Palace take the lead through an own-goal from Jan Vertonghen. That’s not just against the run of play; it’s an affront to the run of play. It’s Palace’s first goal in six games.
3.25pm GMT
West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa
Villa should have had a penalty at the Hawthorns after a foul by Jonas Olsson on Jordan Ayew. I say this with complete confidence because Matt Le Tissier said it with complete confidence on Soccer Saturday.
3.23pm GMT
@robsmyth0 my wife and I are sitting here with a cocoa, following Clockwatch. It's snowing. Simpler times. What're mk Dons on about?!
3.21pm GMT
“Dundee United have scored one and had another chopped off in a completely dominant opening 15 minutes,” says Simon McMahon. “I think we both know how this is going to end.”
3.20pm GMT
Championship
Only two goals so far: Bolton lead MK Dons, and Sheffield Wednesday are ahead at Reading.
3.20pm GMT
“Actually Rob,” says Conor McDevitt, “Blind registered a shot on target in the first 15. Outside the box too!”
Ach, I’m sacking my data flunky.
3.18pm GMT
Jack Butland has denied Jamie Vardy at the King Power Stadium, where it’s still Leicester 0-0 Stoke.
3.18pm GMT
“Forgotten? I doubt that many in the UK were ever aware of this,” says Steve. “The second goal’s not bad either.”
3.16pm GMT
In other news, here’s a shameless plug
3.14pm GMT
There have been no shots on target in the first 15 minutes at Old Trafford. That’s not news, is it?
Related: Manchester United v Southampton: Premier League – live!
3.13pm GMT
Bournemouth’s big-money signing Benik Afobe has given them a deserved lead at the Stadium of Light with a stooping header.
3.12pm GMT
Apparently Jurgen Klopp broken his glasses during Liverpool’s celebrations at Carrow Road. Opta stats show he’s the first manager to have his glasses knocked off his face in a televised match since Chesterfield’s John Duncan at Old Trafford in 1997. That was the same match in which Gordon McQueen wasn’t quite able to calm his nerves as he’d have liked.
3.08pm GMT
Bolton lead the MK Dons 1-0, thanks to a decisive finish from Rob Holding.
It’s just like being there, isn’t it?
3.07pm GMT
“Aaaah those blissful opening exchanges when one is allowed to dream,” says Alex Simpson, mistaking this for First Dates – Live! “After today, as the Canaries are next up for the ‘mighty Villa’, I have enjoyed a little reverie imagining six points garnered & have dared to dream. Then reality seeps in...”
It’s definitely a seeper, is reality.
3.06pm GMT
There are 16 games remaining for most Premier League sides. If anybody in the top six can put together a decent run – say 12 wins, three draws and a defeat – they will probably win the league.
3.05pm GMT
GOAAALLL!!! Munir scores after just 65 seconds!!!! Barça lead 1-0 at Málaga #MalagaFCB #FCBlive pic.twitter.com/LUtbGMxoBd
3.03pm GMT
A precis of all the action so far:
3.01pm GMT
Peep peep! It’s 3pm, let’s get this done.
3.00pm GMT
Something to pass the time while the football’s going on
What’s your favourite forgotten or little-known goal? This is one of mine, a technically immaculate volley from Gordon Hill. And here’s another.
2.58pm GMT
Animal
Klopp is an immature animal who should be banned from all prem grounds until he grows up a bit.
2.39pm GMT
“You have to worry about Dundee United,” writes Charles Antaki. “Not only has it been many moons since Simon McMahon described them as Mighty or World-Renowned, he’s now reduced right down to a resigned-sounding exhortation to “Come On!”. Terrible times at Tannadice?”
2.38pm GMT
It’s Norwich 4-5 Liverpool, and Scott Murray’s fingers are weeping.
Related: Norwich City v Liverpool: Premier League – live!
2.24pm GMT
Four changes made by new player-manager Kevin Nolan as Baudry returns and Atangana makes his debut. Jarhaldo & Shaw also in. #LOFC
Nolan names himself on the bench, and there is also a place for new signing Armand Gnanduillet #LOFC
2.17pm GMT
Liverpool have come from 3-1 down to lead 4-3 at Norwich. Scott Murray has all the news.
Related: Norwich City v Liverpool: Premier League – live!
2.12pm GMT
The team news from Spain
#11MCF| Kameni; Rosales, Angeleri, Weligton, Torres; Camacho, Recio, Juanpi, Chory Castro; Čop, Charles. #MCFvFCB pic.twitter.com/mWal9k08gb
Barça XI: 13.Bravo 5.Sergio 7.Arda 8.Iniesta 9.Suárez 10.Messi 14.Mascherano 17.Munir 21.Adriano 22.Aleix Vidal 23.Vermaelen #MalagaFCB
2.08pm GMT
“Afternoon Rob,” chirps Simon McMahon. “Forget game of the day, Scotland’s game of the season takes place at, where else, Tannadice today as Dundee United prepare to face Kilmarnock in what has become a six-pointer, cup final and visit to the last chance saloon rolled into one. United start 14 points behind Killie, but with a game in hand. Lose and United are as good as down. A win would give faint hope that, like the Boxing Days of yore, the great escape could be on. Other SPFL fixtures are Celtic v. St. Johnstone, Inverness v. Partick and Motherwell v. Ross County, but all eyes are on Tannadice, with a bumper crowd expected on a perfect day for football. Come on United!”
2.07pm GMT
If you’d like to follow Man Utd v Southampton, we have a special sideways-pass-by-sideways-pass report here.
2.04pm GMT
Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare,
McArthur, Ledley, Puncheon, Cabaye, Zaha, Wickham.
Subs: Speroni, Campbell, Lee, Jedinak, Mutch, Chamakh, Kelly.
1.45pm GMT
Norwich lead Liverpool 2-1 at Carrow Road. The peerless Scott Murray is following that match.
11.22am GMT
This afternoon, Leicester and Barcelona will attempt to return to the top of their respective leagues. Leicester and Barcelona. Just think about that for a second, let it marinate, because it really is a wonderful thing.
Whatever happens in the next few months, Leicester are the story of the 2015-16 English season. They have given hope that, after a decade of tedious predictability, England’s main football competition might actually be competitive again.
Continue reading...January 16, 2016
Six-wicket hero Stuart Broad lays waste South Africa
Rampant England win Test series with one match to spare and knock world’s number one team off its perch
Bliss it was yesterday to be alive, but to be an England cricket fan was very heaven. England dethroned the world’s number one team, South Africa, with a crushing win in the third Test in Johannesburg that secured a series victory with a match to spare.
It is the first time since 1968 that England have beaten the world’s top side away from home.
Continue reading...Stuart Broad: the England bowler with the match-winning habit
Broad doesn’t only win matches – he wins the matches that win the series. The precedent was set at The Oval seven years ago, a spell that changed Broad’s life. Two weeks before, many wanted him dropped; two weeks later he was being interviewed by Jonathan Ross. In the Ashes decider, Broad reduced Australia from 73 for nought to 111 for seven. His wickets included a coming-of-age dismissal of Ricky Ponting and a gorgeous outswinger to bowl Brad Haddin. Broad had hit upon a formula of bowling fast, full and straight that would inform so many of his match-winning spells.
Related: Stuart Broad’s six-wicket blitz guides England to series win in South Africa
Continue reading...South Africa v England: third Test, day three – live!
9.36am GMT
72nd over: England 309-8 (Bairstow 31, Finn 0)
Slack from Rabada, who seems to have kept tabs on Bairstow, but gets lured into a poor short ball that bounces way over Bairstow and Vilas’ head for four byes. Short and wide, now, and Bairstow clips over backward point for four. A single to third man brings Broad on strike and he’s bowled to give Rabada his fourth wicket of the innings. The Watford Wall sees out the over.
9.34am GMT
Cracking delivery from Rabada, who gets one to nip away just enough to miss Broad’s outside edge but clip his off-stump!
9.29am GMT
71st over: England 299-7 (Bairstow 26, Broad 12)
Good from Broad, it has to be said. He’s defending well and aware of his surroundings to pick gaps in the field. Finds one in this over through cover for two (there’s an offside sweeper for van Zyl who prevents the boundary). Starting to meander for South Africa. You’d assume these two will aim to keep ticking over like this and use the hardness of the new ball to really cash in. By the time that comes, they should have a tidy lead.
9.26am GMT
70th over: England 297-7 (Bairstow 26, Broad 10)
Rabada returns and seems to have kept Broad in check until the left-hander punches nicely through extra cover for three.
9.21am GMT
69th over: England 294-7 (Bairstow 26, Broad 7)
Right, so drinks taken and we’ve got a change of tact with Stiaan van Zyl’s light medium pace. You’d have though the left-arm spin of Dean Elgar would be a better change, but oh well. Broad faces most of the over and gets a single into the offside.
9.16am GMT
68th over: England 293-7 (Bairstow 26, Broad 6)
Broad sways out of the way of a bouncer and ends up on his backside. Viljoen’s follow through takes him to within a matter of feet of his fallen prey but he fights the urge to say a few words. A full ball change-up is played well by Broad, before he rocks back and carves over gully for one.
Bairstow now most runs in a series for an England wk since Prior v WI 2007. https://t.co/zHsjjcp2T5 #SAvENG
9.10am GMT
67th over: England 290-7 (Bairstow 25, Broad 4)
Lovely stuff from Bairstow, who punishes a poor ball from Morris by cutting with a flourish through point. He drops the next one into the legside and tries to push for two before being sent back by Broad, who spots three fielders bounding towards the ball. Broad finds one at midwicket and Bairstow another in the covers. Another single for Broad, who drops one into the offside off the back foot. Good stuff.
9.07am GMT
66th over: England 282-7 (Bairstow 19, Broad 2)
Vijloen around the wicket to Broad, who’s happy to get behind the ball and gets off the mark with a block into the offside. Another short, wide ball from Viljoen but Broad can’t get bat on ball and almost throws his shoulder out trying to thwack it!
WICKET! Another inside edge & Moeen (19) is gone, great catch by Vilas off Morris' bowling https://t.co/F5qvjuye0V pic.twitter.com/qnNWd87hCz
9.02am GMT
65th over: England 280-7 (Bairstow 18, Broad 1)
Chris Morris into the attack and, after starting with two leg byes, he strikes to remove Ali, with a lot of help from Vilas. Broad is the next batsman and he’s off the mark with a push in front of Bavuma at short leg.
8.58am GMT
Brilliant from Dane Vilas: Morris comes in for his first over and catches Moeen’s inside edge. Vilas, initially going to his left, dives to his right to take a clean one-handed catch.
8.56am GMT
64th over: England 277-6 (Bairstow 18, Ali 19)
Moeen enjoying the waywardness and extra pace of Vijloen as he flays a shot off the back foot through cover.
Heard from an SA player this week: "(Hardus) is quick & dangerous, but bowls 2 very good balls and then a 'four' ball." Happening a lot here
8.50am GMT
63rd over: England 272-6 (Bairstow 18, Ali 14)
Bairstow looking to take Moeen’s “Best shot of the morning so far” award off him with a effortless straight drive for for two. A sharp two to midwicket nearly causes a run out, as Rabada races around and throws just over the stumps, but Moeen is in.
8.46am GMT
Hardus bowls a heavy ball... #SAvENG pic.twitter.com/SQ8ttVwd2a
8.44am GMT
62nd over: England 268-6 (Bairstow 14, Ali 14)
Some runs for Ali as he gets two to square leg by rolling his wrists on a short ball from new bowler Hardus Viljoen. Another short ball, this one a bit wider , outside off stump, and Ali can pull more convincingly through midwicket for four. Viljoen decides to come around the wicket and, first ball, he breaks Moeen’s bat in half! A bat change and Moeen uses his new piece to thump through point for another boundary! Best shot of the morning so far.
That's a bit of footage the bat sponsor aren't going to be asking to use again.
8.38am GMT
61st over: England 256-6 (Bairstow 14, Ali 2)
Oooooh – the surface breaks as Rabada’s fourth ball, which was angled into Bairstow, nips away after pitching, beating the bat. A very sharp two to backward square leg ends the over.
8.33am GMT
60th over: England 253-6 (Bairstow 12, Ali 2)
No clip from Jonny this time, as Morkel ensures there’s nothing on his legs. A single is found in the offside, as Bairstow gets behind one and calls Moeen through early. Ali thinks about replicating the single, but sends Bairstow back.
8.30am GMT
59th over: England 252-6 (Bairstow 11, Ali 2)
Another clip from Bairstow, another few deliveries of Ali setting himself. Another inside edge to pad. Big waft incoming?
@Vitu_E having looked through the bins, think his sleeveless tank top has gone over the collar of his shirt, creating a t-shirt 'illusion'
8.26am GMT
58th over: England 251-6 (Bairstow 10, Ali 2)
Sharp run from Bairstow, who sets off as soon as ball meets bat for a clip to leg. Moeen Ali battling at the moment, unsure of the bounce. The final ball of the over hits high on the inside of his bat, thudding into him and tricking into the offside.
8.22am GMT
57th over: England 250-6 (Bairstow 9, Ali 2)
Excellent from Bairstow: Rabada drops a touch too short and he’s on to it straightaway, bunting through straight-ish midwicket for four. Kevin Wilson has raised an excellent point: “Why’s Morne Morkel still wearing his training top? You can’t play Tests without collars!!!”
Yes he is!!! pic.twitter.com/spo7XfOMTM
8.16am GMT
56th over: England 245-6 (Bairstow 5, Ali 2)
Bairstow gets off strike with a shot into the offside which is stopped well by the point fielder. Moeen Ali’s first delivery is a brute – Morkel raps his top hand which flies to third slip. Only, there is no slip (there is a deep square leg, mind) and Moeen gets off the mark with an unconvincing two. Plays the rest better – hands closer to his body. But that was a let-off. “I just can’t understand this field,” spits Graeme Smith, looking to see off another South Africa captain.
8.12am GMT
55th over: England 242-6 (Bairstow 4)
First runs of the morning, as Rabada strays onto Root’s hip, who follows the ball with his hands to tuck behind square leg for two. And again. But Root goes to the last ball – a length to drive but just as the shot is played, the ball nips in off the seam. Well bowled Rabada. Was that off an indentation?
8.11am GMT
Big wicket as Snicko registers a deflection off the inside edge and the decision is upheld. Cracking delivery from Rabada and South Africa have their man...
8.09am GMT
Rabada gets one to hoop and cut into Root, who drives. The ball goes through to Dane Vilas, who takes the catch, presumably off the inside edge. The umpires finger goes up but Root reviews straight away...
8.06am GMT
54th over: South Africa 238-5 (Root 106, Bairstow 4)
Morne Morkel, South Africa’s biggest threat on this deck, takes the ball from the other end. He led a pretty intense discussion at the start of the day and AB de Villiers, who was a touch passive yesterday, especially as Root and Stokes went off on one, makes a good call. Good pace, good carry, but all outside off stump, allowing Jonny Bairstow to leave the first three of the over. The next three nip in and Bairstow has to defend into the legside.
8.01am GMT
53rd over: South Africa 238-5 (Root 106, Bairstow 4)
We had four balls of this over last night before the rains came, so just the two from this end to start us off. Kagiso Rabada bowling, Joe Root facing, who gets right behind the first and works the second into the legside. No runs.
7.56am GMT
The players have finished warming up and the fans are still filing in.
Expecting an electric atmosphere at The Bullring. It can’t just be me who has a feeling this day* is going to be a bit special...
Sold Out signs outside the Wanderers with 28 thousand plus expected at the "BullRing" today #SAvENG #bbccricket pic.twitter.com/W7hYa0uOzw
7.42am GMT
Day One at Lord’s, May 2015. The World Cup was a shambles, Kevin Pietersen’s presence (or lack of) loomed large and, from what I remember, it was a bit cold. Sunny, like, but chilly. England were 30 for 4. There were a few boos. Well, a lot of boos. Just over 30 overs later people were out of their seats, after a racy 161 run partnership came to an end. The two batsmen? Joe Root and Ben Stokes.
When enough time has passed to offer a proper retrospective on how this particular England team came about, that day is when the story starts. Much like yesterday in the Bullring, you cancelled your plans, snuck an earphone in at your desk, clicked “x” to infinity as you brought up your grainy stream or simply took to Twitter to tell everyone how ruddy brilliant life is.
7.38pm GMT
Vithushan will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s a taste of Mike Selvey’s report from day two:
There is a scene in the final series of Blackadder where the hapless Baldrick is in a trench carefully carving his name on a bullet. When, inevitably, Blackadder asks what he is doing, there is a simple logic to his answer. “You know how they say that somewhere there’s a bullet with your name on it,” he explains, “well, I thought if I owned the bullet …”
This Test has been one of batsmen dodging bullets. Every single delivery sent down by the pacemen has had a batsman’s name on it. No one has been able to say with any degree of conviction they have been in and on top of the conditions. In such circumstance there are two approaches. The first says guts it out, dig in as the phrase has it, and hope the storm can be weathered. The other says that sooner or later your number will be up, so better make the most of it and chance your arm while you can. Even Nick Compton, for whom obduracy might be a middle name, took a view.
Continue reading...January 15, 2016
The Joy of Six: run-outs
We pay tribute to cricket’s most exasperating mode of dismissal, a regular source of genius, farce, controversy, tears and ‘tragedy’
Of England’s eight consecutive Ashes drubbings between 1989 and 2003, that of 1993 was arguably the most humiliating. In the first Summer of Warne, Australia outclassed England in every department, in every way, all series until the soon-to-be-customary dead-rubber win in the final Test. England at the time were somewhere between transition and utter disarray, with the old guard of the previous decade (Gower, Gatting, Gooch et al) gradually making way – amid varying degrees of rancour – for a wetter-behind-the-ears new generation. England had been rudderless at the top for a while – Graham Gooch’s leadership had become tired and uninspired, however unstinting his effort and however formidable his batting presence – and were in no way equipped to turn the tide against a rampant Australia following a grim early-year tour to India, in which England were thrashed 3-0.
Continue reading...January 5, 2016
South Africa v England: second Test, day four – live!
9.21am GMT
141st over: South Africa 380-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 176, du Plessis 59) A maiden from Moeen to du Plessis. I really don’t know what else to say. We’ve got five and a half more sessions of this!
“My niece, who is 10, had to do a school project on ‘What life was like in the 80s’,” says Karl Gibbons. “I nearly fell off my chair. Also, this is a good mortality checker.”
9.18am GMT
140th over: South Africa 380-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 176, du Plessis 59) Stuart Broad replaces Steven Finn, who was excellent once again. Nothing happens. This is frustrating for England, but it’s good for the series. The third Test, on a Jo’burg green top, with Steyn and possibly Philander fit again, is going to be a stonker.
“I’m the exact same age,” says James Debens. “I started feeling old when I realised that by 39, Bob Dylan had written and performed at least a dozen classic albums, fathered five children, squired Nico, Edie Sedgwick and Francoise Hardy, spent three years as a recluse, toured the world three times, jumped up and down on a bed with Johnny Cash, and still had time to torpedo the fest of changing the world through song by releasing a charmless born-again Christian album telling sinners to expect fiery death for eternity.”
Related: Indian schoolboy Pranav Dhanawade scores record 1,009 runs in one innings
Congrats #PranavDhanawade on being the first ever to score 1000 runs in an innings. Well done and work hard. You need to scale new peaks!
9.10am GMT
139th over: South Africa 380-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 176, du Plessis 59) Breaking news: South Africa and England have drawn the second Test match at Cape Town. It’s not going to happen, is it? England’s bowling has been largely beyond reproach, and I’m not sure they would have won this match even if they had taken all thei catches.
“Proudly showing off my Duncan Fearnley Magnum (that’s a bat and not an ice cream young Mr Smyth) which I received for my 18th birthday in 1986,” says Arnab Bannerjee. “‘I was a month old then ...’ chirped the nice young man.”
@robsmyth0 Listening to Radio 2 is good for heightening awareness of your own mortality.
9.06am GMT
138th over: South Africa 375-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 173, du Plessis 57) Amla plays the most beautifu, wristy, whirling back cut, and he has just produced another off Finn for his 24th boundary. This is now Amla’s sixth Test score in excess of 170.
@robsmyth0 My excuse for buying my motorbike was that, at a mere 49 years old, people were calling me "Uncle" on the trains. Not to be borne
9.02am GMT
137th over: South Africa 370-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 168, du Plessis 57) Moeen is on for Anderson. Might as well have a look early on to see if there is any turn. There isn’t. A maiden to du Plessis. It’s hard to know what England can do here. One wicket might precipitate a collapse; they have to keep that in mind. But I’m increasingly glad I wasn’t selected for OBO duty tomorrow, as it could be a long and pointless day.
“Is scoring 1,000 runs off 300 balls not just the slightest bit unsporting?” says Christopher Dale. I think Barry Richards made that point on social-networking disgrace Twitter. I don’t really mind, not at his age. Didn’t some Competitive Dad figure in New Zealand pump an unbeaten 300 in a teachers v pupils match a few years ago?
Related: Indian schoolboy Pranav Dhanawade scores record 1,009 runs in one innings
8.58am GMT
136th over: South Africa 370-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 168, du Plessis 57) Finn’s bounce is England’s main hope of a wicket at the moment. But there’s a Groundhog Day feel to proceedings. If England do somehow win this match, it will be an outstanding effort. Finn tries to surprise Amla with a full, straight delivery; it almost works, but Amla gets a late inside edge to fine leg for a couple.
@robsmyth0 when snow stops becoming fun and starts becoming a pain. That's the point when you begin to get old.
Related: It's not just Chris Gayle: sport media's Blokesworld mindset needs to change
8.53am GMT
135th over: South Africa 368-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 166, du Plessis 57) Anderson hangs a few outside off stump to du Plessis, who has no interest in playing out there. The inevitable result is a maiden.
@Swannyg66 hey mate hope you're well. Just wondering what your test match economy rate is?
8.49am GMT
134th over: South Africa 368-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 166, du Plessis 57) Ben Stokes made 258, Steven Finn has 1 for 80-odd. Yet in a way Finn’s performance in this match has been more encouraging. That Stokes innings was coming – okay, not 258, but certainly a huge hundred at more than a run a ball – whereas this is arguably the best Finn has bowled for three or four years. England look a completely different side when he is bowling like this. When Amla flashes a back cut for four, Finn responds with a trampolining bouncer. He is extracting what life there is from this pitch.
“I realised just how old I have become when following a discussion with my eldest daughter it was decided, by her I may add, that I would get an earring for the first time in twenty years,” says Phil Withall. “When my wife was informed of this she commented ‘Are you going to become one of those men?’” I suddenly felt suitably chastised, old and shamed even though it wasn’t my idea and I had no intention of doing it.”
8.44am GMT
133rd over: South Africa 364-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 162, du Plessis 57) Amla flicks Anderson for the first boundary of the day, and then du Plessis drives him through mid-off for the second. That was a gorgeous stroke. The ball has moved barely a millimetre in the three overs so far.
“Can empathise with you on the age thing,” says Dave Adams. Thanks, but I bet nobody’s offered you a bloody seat on the tube! “Late thirties is a depressing time when you suddenly realise you’re older than all the players, you see the sons of players you watched as a kid playing professionally, and former players becoming umpires/coaches. On the plus side, you’ve seen (or hope you’ve seen) every conceivable way England can fail, which acts as an emotional anaesthetic.”
8.40am GMT
132nd over: South Africa 355-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 157, du Plessis 53) Steven Finn, England’s best bowler yesterday, is given the ageing ball ahead of Stuart Broad. du Plessis has plenty of time to pull for a couple to deep midwicket. It was in the air but perfectly safe and fielded by Samit Patel, who is apparently on the field for Ben Stokes.
Finn then gets one to spit from a length, forcing du Plessis to pull his hand away from the bat handle, and then beats him with a gorgeous fuller leg-cutter. This has been a terrific start from England.
@robsmyth0 buying a mid life crisis mobile/ motorbike, then hurting my hip climbing on it last night. Oh, and emojis/ tween lingo. WTF?!
8.34am GMT
131st over: South Africa 353-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 157, du Plessis 51) Right, let’s you and me get this done. Jimmy Anderson bowls the first over from the Kelvin Grove End to Hashim Amla, who – shock, horror – plays a series of accomplished defensive strokes. A good start from Anderson, who made him play every delivery. England can still win this, but surely they need to get Amla in the first hour.
“Pranav Dhanawade’s innings is all well and good,” says Ian Copestake, “but how many times did England players drop catches off him?”
8.23am GMT
Seriously though: one thousand and nine!
I bet he doesn’t drink Carling Black Label.
8.20am GMT
Things that make you go: hmm, I’m old
This morning, on the tube, somebody offered to give up their seat for me! I know the beloved gout was playing up a bit, but come on, I’m
39 years old
in my thirties! At around the same time, it struck me that very soon we will be watching/cheering/blutacking posters to our wall of sportsmen who were born in the 2000s. Like Pranav Dhanawade.
8.20am GMT
The first disappointment of 2016
Watching Making A Murderer. Not as funny as promised.
8.20am GMT
“I have a shameless plug – or two,” writes Simon Brereton. “As the regional woman’s officer for German cricket (west region), I’m on the search for English women’s teams who’d like to host a mixed club side in Norfolk/Suffolk for a T20 or two the last weekend in June.
“Obviously, I’ve done my own research on play-cricket and crichq, etc. But I imagine the combination of “German”, “cricket” and “women” has triggered all sorts of filters! Please lend me some legitimacy. We’d be very open to hosting any British women’s teams as well, if they fancy a weekend in Cologne/Düsseldorf.
8.19am GMT
@robsmyth0 I lost one of my best friends to cancer & running London Marathon in his memory. Please retweet, donate: https://t.co/laVcMp69KZ
8.19am GMT
Play the Jaws music
Start bowling again today #lekker
8.19am GMT
I wonder what he was like in the nervous 990s
@robsmyth0 1009 not out. Makes you wonder what the lad could score on this Cape Town pitch?!
8.07am GMT
Reprise: One thousand and nine!
Summarising Pranav Dhanawade's innings.. Read more: https://t.co/FdTyjtYb4k pic.twitter.com/9L1Bf5f43c
8.02am GMT
One thousand and nine!
8.01am GMT
Pranav Dhanawade? Bloody hell
Mumbai youngster Pranav Dhanawade has scored 1009*, the highest score in school cricket, first-class cricket, and Brian Lara Cricket.
1002 not out. 15-year-old Pranav Dhanawade has just made history in India https://t.co/WawavqsTNI
7.52am GMT
Rise and shine! If you, dear reader, think it’s hard to drag your groaning limbs out of bed this morning after reacquainting your body with the gym and non-alcoholic beverages for the first time since November 30, then spare a thought for England’s bowlers. They endured over six hours of physical futility in Cape Town, attempting to dismiss Hashim Amla on a shirtfront, and may have another six hours ahead today.
It’s hard to see how even England’s admirable pace attack can force victory here. South Africa will resume on 353 for three, needing a further 77 to avoid the follow-on. If they do that, the game will be done, and you can head back to bed with our blessing. (Legal disclaimer: Guardian Media Group is not responsible for the lost earnings of anybody who does actually bugger off back to bed at 9.54am and is sacked as a consequence.)
Related: South Africa’s Hashim Amla lifts pressure with serene century | Ali Martin
12.44am GMT
Rob will be with you from 8am to take you through the morning session. In the meantime you can enjoy Mike Selvey’s report of an enthralling day three...
Related: Hashim Amla’s 157 for South Africa frustrates England in second Test
Continue reading...Rob Smyth's Blog
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