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Leicester 3-0 Stoke, Málaga 1-2 Barcelona and more: clockwatch – as it happened

Leicester went top, Manchester United lost and Dele Alli scored a glorious goal for Spurs

5.02pm GMT

Right, that’s it from me. The big story will probably be Manchester United losing, but it should be Dele Alli’s beautiful goal and Leicester going to top again. Thanks for your company; you can read freshly baked match reports here in the next 10 or 15 minutes. Night!

4.58pm GMT

Premier League

Crystal Palace 1-3 Spurs
Leicester 3-0 Stoke
Man Utd 0-1 Southampton
Sunderland 1-1 Bournemouth
Watford 2-1 Newcastle
West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa

4.58pm GMT

The 5.30pm kick off

4.57pm GMT

FULL TIME: Barça win 2-1 at Málaga thanks to goals from Munir (2') and Messi (51') - Juanpi (32') for home side pic.twitter.com/MLDpgGTRl8

4.54pm GMT

“The United players walk off to sustained applause at Tannadice after a 5-1 thrashing of Kilmarnock, doing that clap above the head thing that footballers do,” says Simon McMahon. “It’s not quite Boxing Day and Steve McQueen yet, more like Bonfire Night, but still ...”

4.54pm GMT

Southampton win at Old Trafford again! Charlie Austin, a bargain at £4m, came off the bench to score a late winner. Louis van Gaal isn’t exactly being overwhelmed with goodwill as he walks towards the tunnel.

4.52pm GMT

Adnan Januzaj has missed a chance for Manchester United at Old Trafford.

4.52pm GMT

Nacer Chadli completes a brilliant performance from Spurs.

4.51pm GMT

Leicester are top of the Premier League again.

4.50pm GMT

One day, somebody will write a book on the 100,000 greatest 0-0 draws. This match will not be in it.

4.49pm GMT

Sorry, I’m still high on that Dele Alli goal. No more goals in the Premier League, so as things stand Spurs are right in the title race.

4.48pm GMT

“Me again,” says Patrick Rennie. “After you dug out that Kewell goal I started hunting for a long forgotten (almost) goal. Anyone remember when Gary Neville almost lobbed Buffon from 25 yards out? Here it is (3m45s).”

4.45pm GMT

The substitute Charlie Austin scores on his debut! “Why did no-one else come in for him?” screams Charlie Nicholas. It was a fine header, and Southampton are set for consecutive 1-0 wins at Old Trafford in the Premier League.

4.45pm GMT

Leicester compound Stoke’s misery.

4.44pm GMT

I’ve just seen the Dele Alli goal. Madon, it is glorious! No wonder Matt Le Tissier was clapping: it’s the best Le Tissier goal that he never scored.

4.43pm GMT

“That Huth free-kick was awful,” says Graham Randall, “but are you gonna tell him he can’t take them in future?”

4.42pm GMT

“Dennis Bergkamp-esque!” screams Phil Thompson. Matt Le Tissier is clapping in the Sky studio. “You should get two goals for that,” says Jeff Stelling. It was a stunning turn or volley, or so my snouts tell me. and should give Spurs a deserved win. Never mind Leicester, it would be almost as refreshing if Spurs were to win the league.

4.40pm GMT

“You can’t do that,” says Paul Merson. “You can’t do that.” Apparently he hit the corner flag on the other side of the pitch, while going for goal.

Jose Mourinho put him up front in the Nou Camp once.

4.38pm GMT

“You’re right,” says Matt Dony. “Kewell struggled when he moved to a big club, but probably would’ve thrived at United...”

It’s just banter.

4.36pm GMT

Leicester’s next three games are Liverpool (H), Man City (A) and Arsenal (A). If they pick up, say, seven or even five points from those games, something brilliant really might be happening.

After that they have a really good run of fixtures: Norwich, West Brom, Watford, Newcastle, Palace, Southampton, Sunderland, West Ham, Swansea, Man Utd, Everton and Chelsea on the last day of the season.

4.34pm GMT

“Thanks for reminding me about that Kewell goal,” says Matt Dony. “He really was fantastic for Leeds. I remember being so excited at his Big Announcement about joining Liverpool. Harry ‘fit-for-the-finals’ Kewell. Never lived up to the thrillingly creative promise. See also, Fernando Morientes and Joe Cole.”

I wonder how different his life might have been if he hadn’t turned down United. He was magnificent for Leeds, especially from 1998 to 2000.

4.33pm GMT

Finally some intent & change of pace at Old Trafford. From a mouse. pic.twitter.com/OWAnvh88f2

4.31pm GMT

At Selhurst Park, Conor Wickham has elbowed Jan Vertonghen in the face. Phil Thompson on Sky says he’ll be facing retrospective punishment for that.

Meanwhile, Jamie Ward has given Nottingham Forest the lead at Middlesbrough. It’s still 0-0 at Old Trafford. Of course it is. “Oh, Rob, that it’s come to this,” writes Mac Millings. “Fergie’s last game was a 10-goal thriller.”

4.29pm GMT

James Wilson – yes, Manchester United’s James Wilson – has put Brighton 2-1 ahead at home to Huddersfield.

4.29pm GMT

I missed that goal but Newcastle are back in the game.

It’s just like being there, isn’t it?

4.28pm GMT

“Greetings from Thailand,” says Rob McEvoy. “I remember this goal from a very young Alessandro Del Piero.”

4.26pm GMT

Jamie Vardy ends his drought with an excellent goal, outpacing the Stoke defence before going round Butland to score. When you peruse your Sunday newspaper tomorrow, Leicester will be top of the Premier League.

4.25pm GMT

Orient are winning 1-0 at Wycombe in Kevin Nolan’s first game. Meanwhile, in Leicester...

4.23pm GMT

There’s been a goal at Old Trafford #hoax

Eleven games without a first-half goal at home!

4.23pm GMT

“As a Forest fan, the Foxes are bringing back fond memories of the 1977-78 season when we were promoted from the second division and promptly won the whole caboodle,” says Mark Turner. “Particular memories of Bob Wilson on Grandstand every Saturday lunchtime asking the world ‘When will the Forest bubble burst?’. It didn’t.”

4.21pm GMT

Southampton should be ahead at Old Trafford, but Victor Wanyama has wasted a great noggin-based chance.

4.21pm GMT

A fierce header from Harry Kane gives Spurs a deserved equaliser at Selhurst Park.

It’s also Cardiff 2-2 Rotherham, and Anthony Pilkington has scored three of them: two at the right end and one in his own net. He needs one more own goal to match Chris Nicholl.

4.19pm GMT

“I always loved this goal from Pires,” says Patrick Rennie. “My favourite forgotten goal is Kewell for Leeds vs Arsenal at the end if the 02/03 season. Beautiful volley. But after a solid 45 seconds of searching YouTube I gave up and went for the Pires one instead.”

4.18pm GMT

Never mind #thepusher, someone in Manchester is killing off full-backs one by one. Matteo Darmian has been stretchered off.

4.17pm GMT

“Poor old Vermaelen is scapegoated, but the half-time tonic dispensed by Luis Enrique seems to have had the required effect,” says Charles Antaki. “Suárez, Iniesta and Messi have actually been on the ball in something approaching their usual miraculous fashion, and a goal ensues. Meanwhile Vermaelen sits on the bench and ponders what he might have done wrong in a previous life.”

I know how he feels. Bet he’s never had to do a Clockwatch.

4.15pm GMT

Manchester United can’t score for love nor money but their exes can: first Danny Drinkwater and now Craig Cathcart, who has bulldozed Watford into a 2-0 lead against Newcastle.

4.14pm GMT

In a textbook demonstration of the principles of cause and effect, Manchester United have played much better since Juan Mata replaced Marouane Fellaini.

4.12pm GMT

“My favourite goal that no one else seems to remember was a ridiculous Lilian Nalis volley on the turn from about a million yards out, against Leeds, around 2003,” says Matt Dony. “I also remember it wasn’t the only screamer scored that day. It was an entertaining Match of the Day. As fantastic as that was, how many Leicester fans of the time imagined this season happening?”

4.11pm GMT

GOAAALLLL! Leo Messi scores with a volley!!! Barça are back in front at 2-1! #MálagaFCB #FCBlive pic.twitter.com/WQQQtwZLHr

4.10pm GMT

Apropos very little, this is the greatest tackle of all time.

4.08pm GMT

Barça have made a change at half time - Vermaelen is off and Jérémy Mathieu is on #MálagaFCB #FCBlive

4.07pm GMT

Our Sky feed has gone down. Oh well, that’s all from me then. Thanks for your emails, bye!

4.06pm GMT

As things stand, Leicester are 22 points ahead of the champions Chelsea.

“I’m not sure how forgotten this goal is,” says Joe Macey, “but I’ve always liked it...”

4.04pm GMT

Odion Ighalo has given Watford the lead with a possibly offside goal. They will not care one solitary iota about that.

4.03pm GMT

“More surprising than Hellas Verona was 1. FC Kaiserslautern who won the Bundesliga in 1997/98 after being promoted the previous season,” says Florian Ranft.

3.54pm GMT

“If Leicester City win the league this season, where do they fare among the most shocking, out-of-nowhere title wins ever in Europe?” says Mikhail Ridhuan. “The only probable comparison I could think of off the top of my head is Hellas Verona in 1984-85.”

I think this would be even more shocking, given the inequality of modern football. Sometimes we do overstate the significance of events, but in this case I can’t think of anything that would trump them - which is partly because it isn’t going to happen.

3.51pm GMT

Premier League

Crystal Palace 1-0 Spurs
Leicester 1-0 Stoke
Man Utd 0-0 Southampton
Sunderland 1-1 Bournemouth
Watford 0-0 Newcastle
West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa

3.50pm GMT

HT scores in #MUFC's last 11 home games: 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-1 0-0 0-0 0-0 0-0 (Zzzzzzz) pic.twitter.com/WgIeE6QN0P

The way things are going, United should replace Louis van Gaal with Brian Eno.

3.46pm GMT

Two in two games for Patrick van Aanholt, and an important goal for Sunderland just before half-time.

3.45pm GMT

Can Manchester United score? They never score.

3.44pm GMT

“Vermaelen’s comedy routine has infected the rest of the Barcelona defence,” says Charles Antaki, “and under severe Malaga pressure the gaps are opening. There is so little play in Malaga’s half that you’d imagine that Iniesta, Messi and Suárez weren’t actually on the pitch. Malaga are something of a hoodoo team for Barcelona, and they’re taking some delight in showing it.”

3.44pm GMT

“Seems like not too many people care about what surely has to be the biggest game of the day, the West Midlands derby,” says JR in Illinois. “Well, I’m watching it. At the beginning I would have described the game as poor. It then became desperate. Shortly after that it turned diabolical, quickly followed by shocking, and then morphed into an abomination. Now it has become truly fugly. Can’t wait for the second half!”

3.42pm GMT

Come on Leicester! Claudio Ranieri’s team are going back to the top of the league as things stand after a deflected long-range strike from Danny Drinkwater.

3.41pm GMT

At Selhurst Park, Spurs are slaughtering Palace 0-1.

3.41pm GMT

“Here’s a little-known goal you might like,” says Mikael Rialland.

That’s a belter. Actually, wasn’t that in Amelie?

3.40pm GMT

“I know it’s a football blog, but I’m watching the bowls on BBC1,” says Andrew, correctly identifying this clockwatch as a freeform shambles. “This is still my favourite YouTube clip of all time.”

3.39pm GMT

Sadio Mane has missed the best/only chance at Old Trafford. Tim Hill has the latest.

3.37pm GMT

Have some of that, Sebastiano Nela.

3.34pm GMT

min 32; Goal Málaga - 1-1, Juanpi gets the equaliser #MálagaFCB #FCBlive

3.33pm GMT

“Over at Málaga v Barcelona, a priceless acrobatic twist and pike from old friend Vermaelen as he tumbles backwards and misses the ball,” writes Charles Antaki. “Then the Málaga attacker he lets through returns the compliment and falls over in the box, earning a card for diving. Otherwise as you were, Barça ahead 1-0.”

3.31pm GMT

There have been no goals at Old Trafford, and the scoreline flatters what has been a dismal game so far.

3.30pm GMT

Palace take the lead through an own-goal from Jan Vertonghen. That’s not just against the run of play; it’s an affront to the run of play. It’s Palace’s first goal in six games.

3.25pm GMT

West Brom 0-0 Aston Villa

Villa should have had a penalty at the Hawthorns after a foul by Jonas Olsson on Jordan Ayew. I say this with complete confidence because Matt Le Tissier said it with complete confidence on Soccer Saturday.

3.23pm GMT

@robsmyth0 my wife and I are sitting here with a cocoa, following Clockwatch. It's snowing. Simpler times. What're mk Dons on about?!

3.21pm GMT

“Dundee United have scored one and had another chopped off in a completely dominant opening 15 minutes,” says Simon McMahon. “I think we both know how this is going to end.”

3.20pm GMT

Championship

Only two goals so far: Bolton lead MK Dons, and Sheffield Wednesday are ahead at Reading.

3.20pm GMT

“Actually Rob,” says Conor McDevitt, “Blind registered a shot on target in the first 15. Outside the box too!”

Ach, I’m sacking my data flunky.

3.18pm GMT

Jack Butland has denied Jamie Vardy at the King Power Stadium, where it’s still Leicester 0-0 Stoke.

3.18pm GMT

“Forgotten? I doubt that many in the UK were ever aware of this,” says Steve. “The second goal’s not bad either.”

3.16pm GMT

In other news, here’s a shameless plug

3.14pm GMT

There have been no shots on target in the first 15 minutes at Old Trafford. That’s not news, is it?

3.13pm GMT

Bournemouth’s big-money signing Benik Afobe has given them a deserved lead at the Stadium of Light with a stooping header.

3.12pm GMT

Apparently Jurgen Klopp broken his glasses during Liverpool’s celebrations at Carrow Road. Opta stats show he’s the first manager to have his glasses knocked off his face in a televised match since Chesterfield’s John Duncan at Old Trafford in 1997. That was the same match in which Gordon McQueen wasn’t quite able to calm his nerves as he’d have liked.

3.08pm GMT

Bolton lead the MK Dons 1-0, thanks to a decisive finish from Rob Holding.

It’s just like being there, isn’t it?

3.07pm GMT

“Aaaah those blissful opening exchanges when one is allowed to dream,” says Alex Simpson, mistaking this for First Dates – Live! “After today, as the Canaries are next up for the ‘mighty Villa’, I have enjoyed a little reverie imagining six points garnered & have dared to dream. Then reality seeps in...”

It’s definitely a seeper, is reality.

3.06pm GMT

There are 16 games remaining for most Premier League sides. If anybody in the top six can put together a decent run – say 12 wins, three draws and a defeat – they will probably win the league.

3.05pm GMT

GOAAALLL!!! Munir scores after just 65 seconds!!!! Barça lead 1-0 at Málaga #MalagaFCB #FCBlive pic.twitter.com/LUtbGMxoBd

3.03pm GMT

A precis of all the action so far:

3.01pm GMT

Peep peep! It’s 3pm, let’s get this done.

3.00pm GMT

Something to pass the time while the football’s going on

What’s your favourite forgotten or little-known goal? This is one of mine, a technically immaculate volley from Gordon Hill. And here’s another.

2.58pm GMT

Animal

Klopp is an immature animal who should be banned from all prem grounds until he grows up a bit.

2.39pm GMT

“You have to worry about Dundee United,” writes Charles Antaki. “Not only has it been many moons since Simon McMahon described them as Mighty or World-Renowned, he’s now reduced right down to a resigned-sounding exhortation to “Come On!”. Terrible times at Tannadice?”

2.38pm GMT

It’s Norwich 4-5 Liverpool, and Scott Murray’s fingers are weeping.

2.24pm GMT

Four changes made by new player-manager Kevin Nolan as Baudry returns and Atangana makes his debut. Jarhaldo & Shaw also in. #LOFC

Nolan names himself on the bench, and there is also a place for new signing Armand Gnanduillet #LOFC

2.17pm GMT

Liverpool have come from 3-1 down to lead 4-3 at Norwich. Scott Murray has all the news.

2.12pm GMT

The team news from Spain

#11MCF| Kameni; Rosales, Angeleri, Weligton, Torres; Camacho, Recio, Juanpi, Chory Castro; Čop, Charles. #MCFvFCB pic.twitter.com/mWal9k08gb

Barça XI: 13.Bravo 5.Sergio 7.Arda 8.Iniesta 9.Suárez 10.Messi 14.Mascherano 17.Munir 21.Adriano 22.Aleix Vidal 23.Vermaelen #MalagaFCB

2.08pm GMT

“Afternoon Rob,” chirps Simon McMahon. “Forget game of the day, Scotland’s game of the season takes place at, where else, Tannadice today as Dundee United prepare to face Kilmarnock in what has become a six-pointer, cup final and visit to the last chance saloon rolled into one. United start 14 points behind Killie, but with a game in hand. Lose and United are as good as down. A win would give faint hope that, like the Boxing Days of yore, the great escape could be on. Other SPFL fixtures are Celtic v. St. Johnstone, Inverness v. Partick and Motherwell v. Ross County, but all eyes are on Tannadice, with a bumper crowd expected on a perfect day for football. Come on United!”

2.07pm GMT

If you’d like to follow Man Utd v Southampton, we have a special sideways-pass-by-sideways-pass report here.

2.04pm GMT

Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare,
McArthur, Ledley, Puncheon, Cabaye, Zaha, Wickham.
Subs: Speroni, Campbell, Lee, Jedinak, Mutch, Chamakh, Kelly.

1.45pm GMT

Norwich lead Liverpool 2-1 at Carrow Road. The peerless Scott Murray is following that match.

11.22am GMT

This afternoon, Leicester and Barcelona will attempt to return to the top of their respective leagues. Leicester and Barcelona. Just think about that for a second, let it marinate, because it really is a wonderful thing.

Whatever happens in the next few months, Leicester are the story of the 2015-16 English season. They have given hope that, after a decade of tedious predictability, England’s main football competition might actually be competitive again.

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Published on January 23, 2016 09:02

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