Rob Smyth's Blog, page 184
August 8, 2015
Ashes 2015: England beat Australia in fourth Test – as it happened
Mark Wood took the final wicket as England routed Australia by an innings and 78 runs to win the Ashes with a game to spare.
1.02pm BST
A nice postscript: Joe Root is now officially the world’s best batsman, the first England player to reach No1 since Michael Vaughan after his Ashes mirabilis in 2002-03. Bye!
12.55pm BST
England have won the Ashes. There’s your postamble!
12.43pm BST
Mark Wood: “Absolutely phenomenal. I was just blown away with emotion, I was still shaking half an hour after we won. The scenes in the dressing-room are great. It’s not so good being a teetotaler! I don’t remember the final wicket to be fair. I never thought even a year ago that I’d be playing in an Ashes wicket, never mind taking the winning wicket. I’ll remember it forever.” And with that, he walks straight over to give him Mum a bit hug. He is such an infectious character. “It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t drink,” says Beefy, “because I dread to think what he’d be like with a few pints inside him.”
12.39pm BST
Trevor Bayliss: “It was hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck-standing-up stuff. No mixed emotions. I’m not going to gloat, I know a lot of them very well, but the feeling amongst our guys is fantastic. Australia are a very good team and that’s why the England boys should be very proud of their performance. I couldn’t have imagined it would turn out like this, but the win at Cardiff gave the boys so much confidence.
“There were a few nerves at the start, but enough ability that they could see past that. If they concentrate on what they’re doing, they’re going to be very difficult to beat. At Lord’s we got away from playing our game, and it was just a case of not worrying what the opposition were doing and concentrating on our individual gameplans. In the last two matches we have done that perfectly. There were no harsh words after Lord’s, but we spoke about some realities and the team were very honest about what needed to be done.
12.31pm BST
Joe Root is wearing a rubbery old-man mask, doing a hilariously bad impersonation of Bob Willis. “Wellll I’d give England 4/10. It wasn’t a patch on myyyy day was it?” Now he has his mask off and is being soaked by Ben Stokes. “I’ve felt pretty good in the middle,” he says, wiping champagne out of his eyes. The great thing about this team is that everyone’s chipped in. I’m sure it’ll be an entertaining evening. I can’t wait for that and then to crack on at the Oval.”
Joe Root was 50/1 to win Sports Personality of the Year at the start of the series. I thought about it and then I decided to have a freelancer’s nap instead. Ach!
12.27pm BST
Ian Bell, who has won the Ashes for the fifth time: “This one is right up there. The bowlers set the tone from ball one in the last two Tests, and made it a lot easier for us as a batting unit. This is as good a dressing-room as I’ve been involved in. The way we reacted after Lord’s was exactly what we needed to do. There was a real calmness. Edgbaston was a big Test for me; it’s nice to still be here at Trent Bridge! The team performance has been incredible.”
12.25pm BST
“I have no particular problem with Michael Clarke, but I do think taking out the opposition captain is the sign of a really crushing series win,” says Tom Hopkins. “I have in mind Graeme Smith’s habit of laying waste to multiple England skippers.”
Yeah. It was so important at the start of the series that England took down at least one senior player as soon as possible. You could never have imagined they would taken down so many.
12.24pm BST
The Man of the Match is Stuart Broad, who has now produced three Ashes-winning spells in consecutive home series. I can’t remember the last time someone did that. “Cooky will tell you: I wanted to bat! It was a good toss to win, there was green grass on the pitch, but we got our lengths right and the catching was spectacular. A lot of credit has to go to our batsmen in this series; we’ve played on wickets that have done a bit and they have put scores on the board. Our last four innings, four different guys have got five-fors, so that shows how we’ve dovetailed as a bowling unit.
“That’s the best I’ve ever seen Ben Stokes bowl. He had the ball on a piece of string. What an exciting future he’s got. It was awesome to watch. Having an all-rounder gives you the luxury of bowling short spells, which is important on wickets that do a bit. The balance of the attack has been awesome - it’s the first time we’ve settled into a five-man attack since Freddie was around.
12.19pm BST
Alastair Cook: “To Michael, from the England cricket team: you should be remembered as a great cricket and a fantastic cricketer, so congratulations ... I can’t believe what we’ve achieved over the last 18 months ...” Now Cook is welling up! “When you lose 5-0 a new side develops pretty quickly, and I think you’ve seen the amount of talent in the country. It takes a little bit of time but we saw the potential, and Ben Stokes in that second innings was fantastic. Joe Root, Jos Buttler, Moeen Ali, they have all done incredibly well and driven this side forward. I’m also very lucky to have a group of senior players: Broady, 8-15, almost guarantees you the Test match. Jimmy, Belly, the support I’ve had from them means a lot.
“The amount of work Peter Moores did was so important. Trevor has come in and taken that forward again. Today is not about me, or me getting emotional, it’s a group of players who have taken that journey - I know it’s a horrible word - through so many tough times. That’s the moment you play for, when Woody gets that last wicket.
12.12pm BST
“As it’s unlikely that the Australians will be tempted to do a book on this tour maybe the OBO could?” says John Starbuck. “If so, the title might well be on the LWLWLW theme and subtitled Antipodeans on the England tour, including the women’s games, the New Zealanders and all the short-form matches too. It might not be entirely OBO lists, as in some cases an extended essay would be better.”
12.11pm BST
Michael Clarke: “Our goal was to come here and try to have some success. Alastair Cook and the England team have shown us how to play in these conditions. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, but we’ve been beaten by a better team. England, when they’ve had momentum, have grabbed it with both hands. They showed their class in this Test match. Was it a tour too far for some players? Maybe for the captain. I’ll always hold myself accountable. My performances have been nowhere near the level they should be. I don’t blame anyone in that dressing-room, they have all worked hard. Was it a difficult decision? Not when you perform as I have in this series. I think it’s the right time to walk away to give the next captain the chance to prepare for the next Ashes.
“I’ve been very lucky to play over 100 Tests. I was lucky that when I first came into the team I had 10 or 11 older brothers who helped me to grow and learn....” Clarke tails off as a lump swells in his throat ... “I’m sick of crying on television, I know that! There’s that much talent in the changing-room, they will be fine, I know that.”
12.06pm BST
It’s not even Saturday lunchtime, it’s not even the fifth Test, and England have the Ashes. Crikey. Here comes Michael Clarke.
12.04pm BST
There’s nothing in sport to compare with the joy of seeing a young team succeed. Root, Stokes and Buttler are 24, Bairstow and Wood 25, Finn is 26. It’s that, along with Cook’s redemption, that will define this Ashes series.
It would be daft to say they are going to rule the world; we’ve made that mistake before. But with their talent and - just as important - their personality, we are going to have so much fun watching them in the next few years.
12.00pm BST
Michael Clarke: “England showed us how to execute swing and seam bowling throughout this series. We were outplayed, no doubt about it. I’ll have one more Test and I’m retiring from international cricket. The time’s right. It’s always a tough decision, but my performances over the last 12 months have not been acceptable to me. And you build yourself up to the big series - the World Cup and the Ashes. I tried my best, the boys tried their best, but we were well beaten. Now it’s time for the next generation.”
11.59am BST
While everyone else quaffs beer on the balcony, Mark Wood has a bottle of still water in his hand. I think I might be dangerously obsessed with Mark Wood. Ian Botham is revelling in the fact he predicted an England win. The fact he has predicted an England win for the last 48 Ashes is neither here nor there.
11.57am BST
Hic! The England players have cracked the beers open in the dressing-room. Sky’s Ian Ward has just been drowned in champagne by Joe Root and Jimmy Anderson. Ottis Gibson has a half-empty bottle of rum in his hand. This is wonderful stuff. Imagine how good they must feel right now. “I shouldn’t be laughing because it’s hurting my side,” says Jimmy as he embraces Ian Ward.
11.55am BST
Thanks to my colleague Niall McVeigh for this gem.
Alastair Cook thinks his current KP-less England team will regain the Ashes this summer. In other news, I will be elected Pope in August.
11.53am BST
Mark Wood, daft as a brush, is now taking his imaginary horse for a walk round the outfield. Here’s Paul Farbrace: “It’s unbelievable isn’t it? Every session seems to have been a rollercoaster. So please for the lads because we took a real hit after Lord’s, and to bounce back as they have is absolutely outstanding. I’m so pleased for Cooky; he’s been through the wringer the last couple of hours, and this morning he was a bit stressed, but to finish it that way was great. None of us could have dreamed that we would win with a game to spare. The satisfaction that we get from watching the boys celebrate is just out of this world. It’s about the players, they deserve all the credit they’re getting.”
11.51am BST
The media don’t always lie. Reports of Michael Clarke’s retirement were not remotely exaggerated; the final Test at the Oval will be his last. At the same time, England are posing for a team photo, smiles so broad that they’re in danger of splitting their mouths. Cricket, lovely, cruel cricket.
Related: Michael Clarke announces Test retirement after Ashes series defeat
11.50am BST
I was trying to think of the last team an Ashes victory was so unexpected. You could make a case for 1986-87, 1989, 2005, 2009 and 2013-14, but I reckon this tops those. You might even have to go back to 1958-59.
11.48am BST
The England team are doing a lap of honour. Cook hugs Anderson. It’s so good that he is with the team today. It is so hard for top-class sportsman to achieve something great with your team, then suffer a comedown as the team breaks up, then go again with a new team in the twilight of their career. Anderson and especially Broad have managed that with some exceptional bowling in this series.
11.47am BST
ICYMI: ENGLAND HAVE WON THE ASHES! Trevor Bayliss and Paul Farbrace are straight into their celebrations. Bayliss is quaffing what looks like Ribena, Farbrace what looks like orange squash.
11.46am BST
Alastair Cook: “Unbelievable. Unbelievable moment. I couldn’t be happier. From what we’ve been through in the last 18 months, to play like this, is incredible. I’m so proud of this young team, to take this opportunity, even without Jimmy ... We need to thank Peter Moores as well. A lot of the guys made huge developments under him, and you saw a lot of it in this series. Trevor has come in and done a fantastic job as well with Paul Farbrace. This is for you Peter.
Ben Stokes: “Phwoar, we’ve won the Ashes with one game to go, it’s absolutely surreal. From where I was last time in Australia to be an Ashes-winner it’s absolutely amazing. The crowd here ... it’s been electric ... That’s the best I’ve bowled in an England shirt. Everyone has put their hand up at some stage in the series.
11.44am BST
The Aussies are on the field, shaking hands with the England players. Now Sky are repeating the celebrations, with the England team getting straight into a huddle when the last wicket fell. What a feeling, especially for all the youngsters, and of course for Cook.
11.42am BST
Mark Wood finishes it off, bowling Nathan Lyon via the inside edge, to prompt a lusty, joyous roar all around Trent Bridge. You don’t always get to say this but, jeez, it feels good to be English. Alastair Cook looks relatively emotional as he takes it all in. Ben Stokes has a stump, Jimmy Anderson is beaming on the balcony, demonstrating some impeccably white teeth. England have routed Australia twice in 10 days to pull off the most unexpected Ashes victory in decades.
Related: England win the Ashes after resounding innings triumph over Australia
11.40am BST
ENGLAND HAVE WON THE BLEEDIN’ ASHES!
11.38am BST
72nd over: Australia 248-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Lyon ignores a series of wider deliveries from Stokes, who waves his cap angrily at the end of the over, frustrated that he didn’t make Lyon play more.
11.35am BST
71st over: Australia 248-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Mark Wood spears four byes down the leg side, trying for the glory ball. If you can’t try for the glory ball, when can you. He is daft as a brush, Wood, in the most affectionate sense of the phrase.
“This isn’t just a time for Australia to be looking forward, but also England,” says Ben Hendy. “There have been a few mid-order collapses on our side of the scorecard in this and recent series. There are question marks hovering specifically over Lyth and Bell, with Bairstow only recently installed at 5. I don’t even know what I think about remodelling the top half, but where do you stand? And if they’re all fit, who plays out of Anderson, Broad, Wood and Finn (assuming Stokes is taking the all-rounder position regardless so isn’t part of that question)?”
11.30am BST
70th over: Australia 244-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Voges plays tip-and-run to reach an excellent fifty in trying circumstances, one that has surely bought him at least one more Test. Lyon is beaten by a monstrous inswinger from Stokes, who has figures of 20-7-36-6.
“That was a pretty painful innings to watch,” says Tom Hopkins. “To expand on Warner’s comment, Hazelwood looked like every ball was the first he’d ever faced in his life.” Haha, that’s a great line, which I’d be tempted to nick had I not just published it under your name. Ach!
11.26am BST
69th over: Australia 243-8 (Voges 48, Lyon 0) “Yesssssssss” roared Wood after the ball thumped into middle stump. The net hero has been such a good addition to this England side, and that was perfect bowling to a tailender. It was the last ball of the over, so Stokes gets first crack at the Ashes-winning wicket.
“On the ranking of recent Ashes victories I would have to say this one feels by far the best,” says Daniel Jeffreys. “After the 0-5 demolition in 2013/2014, my Australian colleagues confidently predicted that England would not win the Ashes again for a generation or two. Seeing their faces during the 60-all-out debacle was like watching Wile E Coyote run off cliffs in pursuit of the Road Runner. One minute they were smug with anticipation, confident that Edgbaston had been a fluke, that Lords was the true state of play between the teams. And suddenly, with nothing but air and humiliation beneath their feet, their faces had that priceless “Oh my God, this is going to hurt” expression. 2005 was more of a cricketing miracle but 2015 has been schadenfreude at its delicious best.”
11.25am BST
There are more false strokes than, er, non-false strokes at the moment. Batting would be fiendishly difficult for Bradman and Smyth, never mind Hazlewood and Voges, such is the amount of movement. And there you go! Hazlewood is cleaned up by a glorious inswinging yorker from Mark Wood! England are one wicket away from a wonderful victory.
11.21am BST
68th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Despite bowling very well at times, Stokes had taken only nine wickets in eight-and-a-half Tests since his recall in the Caribbean. Now he has six in an innings. This thing of ours never ceases to fascinate. Stokes is hooping it both ways and beats Hazlewood both on the inside and the outside. He isn’t just making the ball talk; he’s getting it to recite Shakespeare. Another maiden.
Great tweet, this.
In Australia's last four innings: Anderson 6-47, Finn 6-79, Broad 8-15, Stokes 6-35*.... #Teameffort #Ashes2015
11.18am BST
67th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Wood swerves a peach past Voges’s outside edge. How can you not love Mark Wood? Another maiden.
“I’m in need of an outdoor big screen in central London to watch the last of the match and catch some sun,” says Ben Reilly. “Any chance of asking the OBO faithful for advice?” Is it on at Regent’s Park? In truth, I’d just concentrate on getting some sun - by the time you reach your destination, this will be over.
11.14am BST
66th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Stokes was just too good for Starc, moving it both ways and eventually drawing an indeterminate push outside off. There is a whiff of 2005 about the way England’s pace attack have relentlessly harassed the Australian batsmen, with the obvious exception of Lord’s. That line from Warner - “every ball felt like my first ball” - sums it up really.
“Controversially, I’d put 2010-11 above 2005 as an England victory,” says Tony Brennan. “2005 was, of course, the ultimate test series, but as a win I think 2010-11 edges it. We were more dominant, and it was in Australia. A series win tucked between two 5-0 losses - that’s pretty extraordinary.”
11.12am BST
The ball is doing plenty, and Starc is beaten by a ludicrous jaffa from Stokes. The early signs are that this shouldn’t take long. And there’s the first wicket! Starc fences outside off and is taken easily by Bell at second slip. Stokes has six for 35!
11.08am BST
65th over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0)
Hmmm now told any Michael Clarke confirmation more likely post play. Will speak to Channel 9 (his future employer, one would wager)
11.05am BST
64th over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0) Ben Stokes starts at the other end. He was overdue a five-for after all the bad luck he has had with the ball in the last few months; in fact he was overdue a wicket, never mind five of them. A quiet first over, but with some encouraging swing, is a maiden to Starc.
“Would concur with your ranking,” says Phil Rhodes. “2005 has not just daylight but light years, ice ages and any other extravagant time frame measure between that and 2010/11. I’m wondering if this year isn’t close to 2010/11 due to concerns before hand but lack of Ryan Harris prevents that. It could be said his career ending injury has won the Ashes for us. Can you imagine him bowling on this wicket and that one at Edgbaston. Must be said though that wasn’t a smart move to rely on such an injury prone bowler. Exactly the type of thing England kept doing on all those barren tours down under...”
11.01am BST
Here’s our live county cricket blog, with updates from Middlesex v Sussex and Yorkshire v Durham.
11.01am BST
63rd over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0) There are four balls of Mark Wood’s 13th over remaining from last night. How nice it would be if Mark Wood, cult hero and adorable clown, took the Ashes-winning wicket. Mind you, that applies equally to Ben Stokes, Stuart Broad and Steven Finn. When you win the Ashes, every story is a good story. There’s some early, orthodox swing for Wood, even with a ball that is 63 overs old, and just a leg-bye from those four deliveries.
@100ashesquotes interesting juxtaposition of books in my local Kmart. I think they may be on to something… #Ashes2015 pic.twitter.com/0l5zKvFP6F
10.52am BST
Update: Who/what is Simon McMahon? “I’m certainly a guy, and in my mind I’m of average build, a ruggedly handsome, fit 40 something, when in reality I’m like that bloke who was wearing the Beefy T-shirt the other day.” I thought Giant Haystacks passed away in 1998?
10.48am BST
David Warner is being interviewed, and has just come up with a great line about the conditions and how well England have bowled. “It’s the first time in my career that I felt like I was facing my first ball every ball.”
10.46am BST
Here’s Ali Martin’s story on reports that Michael Clarke is going to jump while simultaneously being pushed.
10.46am BST
“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Sarah Morriss. “What a time to be alive. I’m veering between impatience and butterflies. My boss, who’s a good bloke, is at Trent Bridge today so it’d be nice if he got to see *some* play. However, I couldn’t take the spare ticket so screw ‘im.”
10.44am BST
In 2015, nothing really counts until it has been ranked. So where do we put this among England’s recent Ashes victories? I’d probably say 2005, daylight, 2010-11, 2015, 2009 and 2013. Any thoughts?
10.34am BST
Concentrate hard though Eng. Ideal finish for me would be c Cook b Broad.
10.26am BST
The Australian newspaper running that Michael Clarke has been told ‘there’s no place for him in the team’ & he will retire after the Oval
10.24am BST
On Sky, Mike Atherton has been drawing a parallel between this and the 2013-14 series: two excellent, ageing teams who wrongly thought they had one last tour left in them. It’s a great point. Just as England lost Trott, Pietersen, Prior and Swann in the last Ashes, so Australia have lost Haddin, Harris, Watson and Clarke this time. Those four have over 260 caps between them. Even youngsters who were seen as bankers – Root then, Hazlewood now – were undermined. This thing of ours is a wonderful and cruel thing.
10.19am BST
“Morning Rob,” chirps Simon McMahon. “So, it’s 99.94% certain that England will regain the Ashes today. And yet. And yet ... It was also seemingly certain that Bradman would finish his career with a Test average of over 100. And that after Trent Bridge in 1993 Martin McCague would take 500 Test wickets. Ach, stuff it. There’s more chance of the Central African Republic winning the next World Cup than there is of England not winning today. Right? RIGHT?”
Come and sit on the couch, big guy, and give me a hug. It’s going to be okay.
10.12am BST
This is sad but increasingly inevitable news. He has been worn down by his back and now his team’s lack of spine, not to mention the unimaginable trauma of Philip Hughes’s death. It’s hard to know how history will judge Michael Clarke – both around the world and in Australia. He touched greatness with the bat, most obviously during an astonishing 2012, and has been a brilliant captain don’t mention the F-word don’t mention the F-word who, at his best, reads games like he has written them. At his best, with the bat or in the field, he was an outstanding advert for instinct. But there has also been a strong sense that Australia didn’t quite trust him for a long time; that he was – heaven forbid – a bit metrosexual. Having never met him, it’s impossible to say whether that’s fair, or whether he uses hair products. All in all, he’s had a unique career, and a largely brilliant one.
Michael Clarke to retire from Test cricket say reports in Australia (from England)
Related: Michael Clarke set to announce Test retirement after Ashes series
10.03am BST
September 12, 2005. August 23, 2009. December 29, 2010. August 5, 2013. August 8, 2015. These are the dates on which England have regained or retained the Ashes in the last 25 years. Forget all that real-life stuff like childbirth, weddings and the first time you practised the physical act of love; these are the dates of our lives. The Ashes-winning days.
Admittedly I had to look up the precise dates up for 2009, 2013 and even 2015 –and 2013 was a bit of a damp squib for a variety of reasons – but the point remains: for those who received the questionable gift of caring about the England cricket team early in life, today will be taking out a lease in the memory bank.
Continue reading...
August 7, 2015
Ashes 2015: England v Australia, fourth Test, day two – live!
Day one: you may want to look away if you’re of an Australian dispositionAnd email dan.lucas@theguardian.com or tweet @DanLucas86
12.31pm BST
Catch! Moeen pushes at one and it takes the edge. It looks to be going down to third man, but Smith flings himself to his left, Stokes-like, and grabs on to it one handed at slip.
12.28pm BST
83rd over: England 386-8 (Broad 23, Moeen 34) A couple more to Moeen as he swishes Starc off the pads. Mitch S is still bowling in the high 80s, but he must be getting a bit tired by now, having bowled unchanged today. He then mistimes a drive, getting it up and over cover and off to that beloved boundary. That’s 53 from 42 balls for the partnership. One more as Moeen guides it down to third man for a single.
12.24pm BST
82nd over: England 379-8 (Broad 23, Moeen 27) Hazlewood shares the new ball and, with a big wide flung outside off, sends the lead to 300 and England’s score to six (!!!) times that of Australia’s. Moeen then moves to 22 – all in boundaries – with a lovely timed shot straight back down the ground, and follows that by working it wide of mid on for four more. But then the run comes to an end, as he mistimes a cut at a short, wide one and just gets the one, er, run. Broad then gets in on the act, smashing one up and over mid off for four more! A bouncer follows and that’s hooked over square leg for six! 20 from the first five balls, then a near-wide to finish brings a blessed dot.
“Scheiss, on the other hand, is masculine,” notes Scott Poynton. I did email him back saying he was wrong, but he isn’t. Sorry man.
@DanLucas86 On another note, if this series goes as we now hope, will Bell be the only living Englishman to have been in 5 winning Ashes'?
12.18pm BST
81st over: England 359-8 (Broad 13, Moeen 18) The new ball is available, but Starc has no interest in it just yet. Broad stands tall to his second ball and drives sweetly on the up, through extra cover for four, so Starc develops a sudden interest in the new ball and takes it. Two more from the last ball, full and clipped off the legs.
Paul Ewart’s back. “Pah! Whilst Mapleston’s linguistic erudition is commendable his reading of Søren Aabye Kierkegaard’s existentialist philosophy leaves a lot to be desired. Kierkegaard’s existence was defined by not doing sh*t. Thus it would follow that the correct translation is ‘lad os ikke gøre det lort og beklagelse om evigt mere’”
12.14pm BST
80th over: England 353-8 (Broad 7, Moeen 18) Perhaps we will see the new ball next up? Nathan Lyon’s on to bowl what might well be a token over of spin, anyway. Broad nudges him away for two into the on side, but then gets hit in front. It’s close, but given not out, so Australia review... it’s not out! He was trying to sweep and missed it; the ball was hitting halfway up off, but the impact was only a fraction in line, so it’s umpire’s call. Broad celebrates with a single, then Moeen shows him how to properly celebrate with a mighty straight drive into the stands!
12.12pm BST
Nope, impact is umpire’s call, which is a nonsense as there’s no predictive element there.
12.11pm BST
This is given not out on the field, but looks mighty close to me...
12.08pm BST
79th over: England 344-8 (Broad 4, Moeen 12) We’re back underway with a glorious shot from Moeen, who leans into a full, wide one outside his off stump and caresses it out of the middle of the bat and through cover for four. Back-to-back boundaries, in fact, as the next delivery is too straight and gets clipped up and over square leg to the rope.
12.03pm BST
78th over: England 335-8 (Broad 3, Moeen 4) A thick outside edge from Broad brings cries of “catch!”, but they die down quickly enough as it transpires that the ball is going nowhere near a fielder, but rather flying out to deep point for a single. England lead by 275 at drinks.
“You’re all wrong,” reckons Dave in Vienna. “None of them would have said ‘dieses Scheiße’ because Scheiße is feminine (please don’t read too much into that, so’s work) so it would have been ‘diese Scheiße’.” This is correct.
11.58am BST
77th over: England 334-8 (Broad 2, Moeen 4) Starc looks so threatening here – can he match Broad’s eight? He comes close to number seven with a yorker that tails into Broad very late, but the greatest living Englishman keeps it out well enough. Given how much Starc is getting this to move, will Clarke take the new ball when it’s available in three overs’ time? I’d wager not. Another yorker is dug out to finish the over, and England sprint a sharp single.
“This worries me, English batsmen not dealing with what little swing the Australian bowlers can muster. What on earth is going to happen when we bat again?” asks Michael Gaff.
11.54am BST
76th over: England 333-8 (Broad 1, Moeen 4) A couple of you have emailed in about the prospects of Starc taking in all 10 wickets. In my opinion, it’s a stretch as Hazlewood got Bairstow out yesterday. That same bowler finds Stokes’ edge here, but it stays low and goes wide of gully, running away for four more. And indeed that’s as many as Stokes will get as Hazlewood grabs his second. Runs straight away for Broad, via an inside edge out to long leg.
“If you’d offered Cook the Aussies all out for 60 and England 324 -7 in reply, I reckon he’d have taken it,” reckons Andy Brittain. Take my job, Andy, just take it.
11.52am BST
A nothing wicket this. Full and swinging down the leg side, but Stokes gets the tiniest inside edge as he looks to flick it round the corner and Nevill holds it. Time for a 60-ball Broad hundred, yeah?
11.49am BST
75th over: England 328-7 (Stokes 1, Moeen 4) Runs, at last, for Stokes, as he turns a straight one down to fine leg for one but then Buttler goes for a flashy, but not brilliant 12. Rather hilariously, Moeen Ali strolls out at number nine and is greeted by an inswinger that goes all wrong and flies down the leg side for four byes. This is wonderful bowling from Starc, who is on for his best ever Test figures, but the final ball of his over is a bit too full and worked through midwicket for four.
“Just to point out that Ewart and Copestake both got it wrong,” points out Peter Maplestone. “The words were ‘Lass uns dieses Scheisse machen.’ Unfortunately, I am not in a position to say if it was Adorno or Benjamin. Actually, my money would be on Kierkegaard. But he being Danish would more likely have said ‘Lad os gøre dette lort.’”
11.44am BST
This is wonderful bowling. On a length and swinging back in late, the ball flies through a big gate as Buttler tries to drive and crashes into middle and off.
11.43am BST
74th over: England 319-6 (Stokes 0, Buttler 12) A change of bowling as Johnson, who has been pretty ordinary – to use the Australian parlance – is replaced by Hazlewood. His first ball cannons away off Stokes’ boot and they jog through for a leg bye. A few balls later, the right armer overpitches outside off and Buttler crunches it very nicely through extra cover for four, before punching another down to straight mid on for his third boundary.
11.38am BST
73rd over: England 310-6 (Stokes 0, Buttler 4) Jos Buttler really could do with some runs in this series, but for the first time now he has a tailor-made situation to bat in: 246 ahead and with a similarly positive Ben Stokes at the crease with him. I suppose it’s not quite ideal, as he is facing Mitchell Starc in the middle of a quite gorgeous spell of seam bowling. Buttler is off the mark with a push down the ground for four to long off.
One for everyday sexism here, courtesy of Ian Healy.
11.34am BST
Oof. A lovely in-dpping yorker from Starc gives him a Michelle, ends Wood’s fun and rips leg stump out the ground.
11.32am BST
72nd over: England 306-5 (Stokes 0, Wood 28) Johnson goes back over the wicket, whangs down a full and wide one that Wood drives at hard, getting a big thick edge that brushes the leaping Clarke’s fingers on its way down to third man for four. That takes England to five times Australia’s score. And then SHOT! Identikit ball follows and Wood thumps it aerially, but safely, through extra cover for a rocket of a four! Finally Johnson pulls his length back, but he’s still bowling way outside off and Wood misses out when he bottom edges a pull. There’s a shout for lbw shortly after, but it’s missing leg by a fair old distance. A big thrash gets an inside edge down to fine leg for a single off the final ball.
11.27am BST
71st over: England 297-5 (Stokes 0, Wood 19) Starc beats Root again with an outswinger that evades the right-hander’s attempted cover drive. This is a nice little spell from Starc and it pays off, bringing Ben Stokes to the crease. Stokes gets a cracking yorker straight away and does well to dig it out with a nice straight bat. A wicket maiden.
11.24am BST
On a length, just outside off and nipping away a touch; Root goes for the big drive and feathers it behind to the keeper, who takes it easily. Standing ovation for Root.
11.22am BST
70th over: England 297-4 (Root 130, Wood 19) One more to Root, who rolls the first ball off his ankles and out to deep square leg. Wood then brings out the shot of the day, leaning into a full, wide one and lacing it through cover, right out the middle of the bat and whistling away for four. Johnson continues to bowl full and Wood turns the next one out to mid on for two more. This is utter dross, yet another one pitched up and Wood pushes him straight back down the ground for a couple more. Nine off that over.
Do you think County Cricket is better than this Test nonsense? Would you rather read about that? Here you go then!
Related: County cricket – live!
11.17am BST
69th over: England 288-4 (Root 129, Wood 11) Short and on the hips from Starc and Root turns him round the corner for a single, then MIRTH as Johnson fumbles the return throw. Wood sees off the rest of the over with little difficulty.
Patrick Foyle writes: “The boss and I have agreed; we need to inflict complete humiliation upon our Antipodean guests over the course of today, ideally via a Ben Stokes smashathon before more high quality pace bowling. What could be more fun?
11.12am BST
68th over: England 287-4 (Root 128, Wood 11) Filth from Johnson: a short, wide nothing ball that Wood guides effortlessly through backward point for the first four of the day. He follows that immediately with the second, driving a half volley uppishly over extra cover and to the fence. You’d expect the bouncers to come flying in now, especially as Johnson goes round the wicket, but he continues to pitch it up. No more runs from the over though.
Paul Ewart is in the mood for a fight, er, I think: “That numskull Copestake has got it all wrong! Adorno lamented the commodification of contemporary cricket demanding the return of free-to-air viewing and insisting twenty twenty be cast to the wind. Walter Benjamin, however, celebrated the radical potential of Sky TV and the shorter, more popular and reproducible format. It was he who said: ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’. I demand a retraction!”
11.08am BST
67th over: England 279-4 (Root 128, Wood 3) The odd moment of excellence on the first day, but a lot of stupid stuff too and seemingly losing his head at one point, on comes Mitchell “Ned” Starc(k). Root tucks his first ball off the pads to deep midwicket for a couple, then gets one more with another nudge into the on side. Wood then gets right back off strike by dropping it into the off side and setting off for what should be a very tight single, but Lyon fumbles at mid off and the run out opportunity goes begging. A play and miss at the final ball from Root, driving airily outside off and being beaten by the late away swing.
11.03am BST
66th over: England 275-4 (Root 125, Wood 2) It’ll be Johnson to begin with, on a slightly breezy, slightly overcast morning at Trent Bridge. “An ordinary day for Australia,” is Shane Warne’s opinion on yesterday. Imagine what a bad day must look like! Root looks to push a wide bumper down to the unguarded third man region, but is foiled by a good diving stop at gully by Smarsh. An inside edge just past the stumps to square leg gets the first run of the morning, before Wood keeps out a full inswinger comfortably.
10.57am BST
Before we get underway in a moment, happy birthday for yesterday to Malcolm Conn. Hope he had a good one.
10.56am BST
Every Australian batsman #Ashes2015 pic.twitter.com/1JSFHE2qw4
10.54am BST
And Paul Foley has a question. “Getting ahead of the game a touch but I wonder have there been any occasions where a night watchman gets more runs than an entire opposition’s innings?”
Yep. And it’s a pretty famous example...
10.53am BST
Yesterday’s hero was not Joe Root, nor Stuart Broad. At least according to Robert Wilson:
“Dear Dan,
“I’m not even faintly Australian and I know he will never be troubling the Nobel Committee but I thought David Warner was immense yesterday. After his dismissal, he was straight out onto that balcony with his Clint Eastwood face on, invitiing and defying the camera’s scrutiny. When fielding, he attacked the ball like it had insulted his mother. He bowled the world’s highest, silliest bouncer and sledged it up loads while bowling at 70mph.
“Yes, the fake accidental shoulder-bump is the toddler’s version of machismo. But how mature can machismo ever be? And what purpose does mongrel defiance serve in such purposes? What can it matter in the midst of such humiliation? Well, I can’t help feeling that when it is all that is left to you, it matters very much. He stood right up to it. And he ended up looking like the least humiliated guy in the ground.
“He gained an admirer.”
10.50am BST
Some more emails. The first comes from super smart Ian Copestake: “My background reading on the context of Adorno’s writing of “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” is having to come to a halt because of the greater importance of watching England not relinguish their throat hold on the Aussies. So as Adorno might have said ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’ [let’s do this].”
“Is your Granddad really called Alan Partridge?” Yes, Charles Horwood, he is. “That is excellent. I remember the BBC did a piece once about a guy in Scotland called Donald Duck who was named before the cartoon existed. He was a doctor and said one of his patients was nearly sectioned after insisting his GP was Donald Duck.”
10.38am BST
With 20 minutes to go, why not enjoy this unaired 1986 episode of The Office, starring Sir Ian Botham? My personal favourite bit is where, four seconds in, he responds to a question about sexism with “look love”.
10.35am BST
“So, Trent Bridge, first day, no Jimmy - this is going to be tough, isn’t it? By the way, I had a great dream last night...”
You’ve been having my dreams, Paul Mitchell. Get out of my head!
10.34am BST
OBOs in history: this from Rob Smyth, 10 years ago today.
Related: Over-by-over: morning session
10.26am BST
Now, I understand that with our Australian readers, we should be objective, even with the giddiness of yesterday. But what good is there to say about Australia yesterday? They scored their 60 runs at a decent enough rate and played positive, bad cricket? I was in the pub talking to people about whether we could find parallels between this match and any other in the Ashes and we were struggling to think of any – even Melbourne 2010. Is this going to be England’s best ever win? What can Australia, realistically do to salvage pride, if not the match?
10.23am BST
“Can you make sure th Guardian produces the inevitable 60 t-shirt so I can buy one for my son who’s flying to Oz in 10 days time?” asks Cliff Challenger, who either stole my pseudonym or has the best name of anyone who isn’t my granddad (Alan Partridge, since you didn’t ask).
10.19am BST
“Morning Dan.” Morning, Jonathan Day. “Apropos of nothing I took it upon myself to find a Bible passage relevant to yesterday’s magnificent events, with Chapter and Verse corresponding to Broady’s figures. Accordingly I give you Isaiah Chapter 8, Verse 15: “And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.” Which happily sums up the Aussie innings rather well.”
10.15am BST
Away from the Ashes, this is also pretty amazing. Because it’s Chris Gayle, so of course it is.
10.13am BST
I think this comment sums up how a lot of England fans felt yesterday:
Glorious comment pic.twitter.com/pBRXnRqUbQ
9.53am BST
Morning folks. Some great news from yesterday: Larry David has a notebook full of ideas for a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm! Personally I couldn’t be happier, one of the funniest sitcoms ever making a return, it puts me in the mood to revisit the classics. Palestinian Chicken, The Doll, The Table Read – there are few funnier half hours of TV than these. It’s not just Larry, the social assassin either, but the supporting characters: Jeff and Susie, Marty Funkhouser, Ted Danson …
OK, I’m filling space, but that’s because this Test match, and indeed this series, are done. With good weather forecast for the remaining four days, Australia are already 214 runs behind, England have six wickets in hand and Moeen Ali is due to come in at number bloody nine. Never in Ashes history have Australia overturned such a first-innings deficit and this is not a classic Australian batting line-up. They are cooked.
Related: 'Ashes disgrace', RIP cricket and a nudie run: how Australia's media reacted
Continue reading...July 3, 2015
The Joy of Six: Ashes quotes | Rob Smyth
• The Guardian bookshop: Gentlemen and Sledgers, by Rob Smyth
Don Bradman to his team-mates, Trent Bridge, 1938
Continue reading...May 30, 2014
World Cup final 1966: England v West Germany – as it happened
The minute-by-minute report of England's proudest day, from the pages of And Gazza Misses The Final, a collection of MBMs from World Cup matches by Rob Smyth and Scott Murray
1.08pm BST
This report is one of 22 MBMs featured in And Gazza Misses The Final by Rob Smyth and Scott Murray. Relive the goals, the genius, the farces and the fistfights, including the 1962 Battle of Santiago between Chile and Italy, the 1970 World Cup final, Archie Gemmill's wonder goal against Holland, Maradona's Hand of God, every kick of the seismic 1950 Maracanazo between Uruguay and Brazil - and of course Gazza's tears in Turin. Thanks for reading and commenting.
PS. Hugh McIlvanney's match report has been sent over by telegram and can be read here: Hurst's hat-trick wins the World Cup
1.05pm BST
Traffic update: Roads in the West End of London have ground to a halt, with thousands of punters milling around Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus. "It’s like VE night, election night and New Year’s Eve all rolled into one," says an Automobile Association spokesman in his steel helmet and gas mask.
1.04pm BST
As England troop up the stadium’s famous 39 steps to the Royal Box, Ramsey shakes each of his players warmly by the hand. And here’s something: he’s smiling. Aw, bless. Moore lifts the trophy. Three irate peelers have to batter a path back down to the pitch for the team, so many folk are leaning into the stairwell hoping to slap the new world champions on the back. And now Stiles has started skipping around in the sort of big-leggy fashion that suggests he might have seriously chafed his inner thighs. In fairness, he has put in quite a shift.
1.02pm BST
122 min: IT’S ALL OVER!. Hurst barely has the energy to jog round in a small semi-circle but he’s got to support Ball, who races up to congratulate him. And it’s the final act of the game! The Wembley pitch floods with well-wishers. England, just as Alf Ramsey said they would, have won the World Cup!
1.01pm BST
121 min: THE GOAL THAT MAKES IT CERTAIN – ENGLAND ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!
... he launches an exhausted but brilliant pinpoint pass down the left channel for Hurst. Who’s clear! The striker looks like he’s wading through treacle on the heavy, cut-up pitch but he makes it to the area and, a millisecond before Overath completes a futile pursuit, lashes an unstoppable shot into the top left! "That’s it,’"says the ITV commentator Hugh Johns. "That. Is. It." I wonder what Wolstenholme’s saying over on the BBC?
1.00pm BST
120 min: Haller sprints to the corner flag and takes. He whips the ball in. Banks punches clear. The ball lands 30 yards upfield at the feet of Hunt, who rather brilliantly rotates through 180 degrees, drops a shoulder and leaves Schulz, sliding in, for dead. That’s as good a piece of skill as we’ve seen all afternoon. Unfortunately, his attempt to release Ball down the right with a raking crossfield pass is abysmal, trickling along the ground and easily intercepted in the centre circle by Höttges. The ball’s sprayed right to Schulz, who curls a desperate last cross into the area. Moore chests down, and ...
12.59pm BST
119 min: This is more like it from Germany, though. Schulz, deep on the right, sends a diagonal ball into the area for Haller to head down into the path of Seeler. Moore has allowed the little German to nip in front of him, but the ball’s whizzing through the air too quickly and Seeler is forced to scamper towards the corner flag after it. He pulls the ball back to Schulz, who crosses deep again. Cohen calmly heads behind for a corner. He looks calm, anyway.
12.58pm BST
118 min: It’s attack versus defence now. "This is Held," says the BBC commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme, though his received pronunciation sounds suspiciously like "this is hell". Which, of course, for England fans it is. Germany aren’t going to dash the cup from England’s lips at the death again, are they? It doesn’t look like it, Haller sending a cross from the left whistling straight down Banks’s gizzard.
12.56pm BST
116 min: Held, who has been nothing short of magnificent, powers down the left and fires a low cross into the area, but Overath miscontrols, the ball shooting out of play for a goal-kick.
12.55pm BST
115 min: Corner for Germany as Held crosses deep from the left, forcing Wilson to twist in mid-air and head out on the right. The setpiece is rolled back to Beckenbauer, whose long crossfield ball is too clever by half and intercepted. England swish upfield and this is better by Hunt, who moves inside from the left and sends a rasping drive flying just wide of the right-hand post.
12.53pm BST
113 min: Held drifts in from the left and from the best part of 30 yards scores two rugby points. Unfortunately, rugby points are not recognized as currency by the Fifa mandarins. Refusing to give up, Held’s soon back at England, breaking clear down the inside left and shooting inches wide, a powerful shot that Banks probably didn’t have covered, but he’s handled the ball en route and play’s pulled back. Hearts in mouths for England.
12.51pm BST
111 min: Stiles on the wing shanks the ball straight out of play. It’s not just Germany who are running on empty.
12.50pm BST
110 min: Hunt has a chance to free the overlapping Wilson down the left but opts to go for gold instead. His attempt to dance into the area is brought to an unceremonious end when Schulz sticks in a shoulder and sends him crashing to the turf. The striker’s decision-making hasn’t been all that in this extra period.
12.48pm BST
108 min: Hurst cuts in from the right and, looking for the first-ever hat-trick in a World Cup final, shoots from the edge of the area. Bereft of juice, it’s never getting past the keeper.
12.47pm BST
107 min: Beckenbauer shows good feet to dance past Bobby Charlton in the middle of the park, but having gone on a 40-yard run, he’s kaput by the time it comes to shooting and his effort bobbles through to Banks.
12.46pm BST
106 min: England get the ball rolling again. They soon lose possession. But West Germany, drenched in water, look short of energy. Overath and Emmerich combine down the left but the latter doesn’t have the power to engage Stiles in combat.
12.45pm BST
105 min: One of the more expansive moves of the match. Haller sprays a long ball down the right for Held, who knocks a pass along the front of the England area. Emmerich takes control and welts a shot towards the far-right corner. High and wide. Banks would have had it covered unless Emmerich found the postage stamp. And that’s it for the first half of extra time.
12.44pm BST
104 min: Space for Emmerich down the left. His sliderule diagonal ball into the middle nearly finds Held rushing through, but Cohen slides in to guide the ball away from immediate danger. He looks to have conceded a corner, but Banks scrambles across to save, the ball sticking to his fingertips. Every little helps and England aren’t in the mood to give anything away.
12.42pm BST
102 min: The Germans were surrounding the linesman after that decision, screaming in his phizog. You can’t really blame them. On the other hand, that goal had been coming. England have been excellent since the restart. "We want four" chant the home support. Some people are never happy.
12.41pm BST
101 min: GOAL!!! EXCEPT IT ISN’T!!! BUT NEVER MIND THAT, BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO COUNT!!!
Conducting the match from the centre circle, Stiles sprays a lovely pass down the right for Ball to race on to. He’s got a jump on Höttges, who races over to cover but is never getting there in a million years. Ball connects first time, cutting back an arcing cross into the heart of the area. The ball takes one bounce just before it reaches Hurst. The striker, ten yards out with his back to goal, just to the right of the penalty spot and ahead of his marker Schulz, brings the rising ball down with the side of his foot and turns to his left. As the ball bobbles towards the right of the goal, Hurst swivels and unleashes a powerful rising shot towards Tilkowski. The ball rockets up over the keeper’s head and off the underside of the crossbar, before bouncing down on the line and back into the centre. Hunt, who really should be following it in, turns instead to celebrate, both arms aloft. Weber steps in to head over the bar for what he imagines will be a corner. For a couple of seconds, it appears a corner’s what it’ll be. Hurst’s shoulders slump, his hands resting on his knees. But they’re soon in the air in celebration: the referee quickly consults his linesman and points to the centre circle. The home crowd erupt and Wembley’s twin towers are launched into space!
12.39pm BST
99 min: The sun’s out again. Held powers down the inside-left channel to the byline, past a half-arsed challenge from a leggy Jack Charlton, who is possibly also worried about giving away a penalty. Held whips a dangerous ball through the six-yard area, but only Seeler’s in the centre and it flies over his head, with Banks kidding on he’s under complete control. Hunt goes down the other end and whips a fairly aimless cross-cum-shot into the side-netting.
12.36pm BST
96 min: Overath robs Ball and sends Seeler away down the right. He sprays a ball to the opposite wing for Emmerich, who slides a diagonal ball into the box for Held. The striker takes a tired touch – earlier you’d have fancied him to turn and shoot from 10 yards – and England are able to mop up without too much fuss. The German fans try to gee up their team with some metronomic horn parping.
12.35pm BST
95 min: Unperturbed, they keep pressing Germany back. Hunt cuts in from the left and fires a shot across goal and wide of the target.
12.34pm BST
94 min: BOBBY CHARLTON HITS THE POST! Ball swings one in from the right. Peters and Hurst make a nuisance of themselves on the edge of the area. The ball’s laid back to Bobby Charlton, who sends a low shot crashing – admittedly not at the highest speed – off the base of the right-hand post. Tilkowski wasn’t far away from reaching it. The ball rebounds back into the keeper’s startled face and away from danger! That was slapstick at its finest. How on earth did that stay out? England will curse that goalframe if they lose this final.
12.33pm BST
93 min: Germany get extra time under way. A strange sense of anti-climax at the moment. England are understandably deflated, the Germans seemingly too knackered to be elated. It’s all fairly understandable. Schnellinger sprays a lovely crossfield ball from the left to Seeler on the right-hand edge of the England area, but he slips on the sodden turf and Moore is able to lash free. He finds Ball, who goes on a slalom down the middle of the park and sends a rising shot straight at Tilkowski. The keeper palms over the bar. The corner’s wasted.
12.30pm BST
The second they restart the game, the referee blows his whistle for full time. They came that close! Stiles boots the ball upfield in impotent rage. We go again for another 30 minutes. Something decisive will have to happen in extra time or we’re all here again on Tuesday for a replay.
12.29pm BST
89 min: HEARTBREAK FOR ENGLAND!!! Schulz heads forward deep into England territory. Seeler is mounted by Jack Charlton, who heads clear. A needless panic by Charlton and that’s a free-kick, 30 yards out, just to the left of goal. Emmerich blasts the free-kick straight at, and through, the wall. The ball comes off Cohen and falls to Held, who from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box blasts goalwards. The shot’s going towards Banks but hits the back of Schnellinger and deflects to the right, drifting slowly through an anarchic melee. The ball somehow evades both Wilson and Seeler, but Weber is sliding in at the right-hand post and lifts the ball over the despairing arms of Banks. What a farce! Only the young Beckenbauer seems to have the energy to celebrate for Germany. Banks is claiming handball but his head must be as cluttered as the England area was. You can tell he doesn’t really believe it. And England don’t really believe it.
12.28pm BST
88 min: Overath lumbers down the inside-left channel, using up every last drop of energy. He drops a shoulder past an equally tired Peters to cut inside and unleashes a fizzer just wide right of goal. Whistles are ringing around an anxious Wembley. England are hanging on.
12.27pm BST
87 min: Emmerich sends a pea-roller towards Banks.
12.26pm BST
86 min: HUNT SPURNS A CHANCE TO WRAP IT UP! Moore takes control of the ball in the area, dribbles out to the left, then finds Peters up the wing, who in turn shuttles the ball forward to Ball. The young midfielder takes a touch back towards his area, then whips a ball upfield to release Hunt down the channel. Suddenly, England are three on one, with Bobby Charlton and Hurst in the middle! Hunt’s ball inside is dreadful, though, lacking the pace to reach Charlton before the covering Overath arrives to hassle the England midfielder. Charlton screws a lacklustre shot wide right, then gives Hunt a look. Hunt should probably have dropped a shoulder and gone on the outside of the only covering defender, Schulz, taking a shot himself. But he lacked both pace and confidence. Will England rue this?
12.24pm BST
84 min: Stiles snaps too energetically at Held’s feet down the inside left. Foul. Emmerich floats the ball into the area. Weber eyebrows a header wide right of goal. A mild panic seems to be setting in. England can’t keep giving away free-kicks.
12.21pm BST
81 min: Chances are coming thick and fast now. Peters slides Bobby Charlton into the area down the left but he shanks it way off target. Schnellinger, drifting inside from the left, batters a shot straight at Banks. Hurst cuts in from the right and blooters a shot from 20 yards wide left and high. "We want three" chant the crowd. Some folk are never happy.
12.19pm BST
79 min: Ball makes his way into acres of space down the left. Near the corner flag, Höttges comes flying in from behind, a ludicrous scythe of malign intent totally out of keeping with anything we’ve seen in this match. How he doesn’t have his name taken is a fair question, for players have been sent off during this tournament for far less. Just ask poor old Antonio Rattin. Perhaps the referee is taking into account that Höttges has just made the mistake that’s likely to cost his country the World Cup.
12.18pm BST
78 min: Ball floats in the corner. Schulz heads clear but only to Hurst on the edge of the box. Hurst shoots under some pressure but only manages a weak effort, which is dribbling towards the left-hand side of the goal. But Höttges slices a woeful clearance up into the air, the ball dropping into the heart of the German box, eight yards out. Peters, rushing in, meets the ball sweetly with his right and slams it into the middle of the goal! England, having waited 103 YEARS since inventing the game, are now 12 MINUTES from becoming the champions of the world! As Peters runs back upfield, arms waving wildly, he’s joined by Hurst and Hunt in celebration. But he doesn’t lose himself in the moment too much. As he waits for the game to restart, he stretches out his fingers as far as they will go, talking to himself, cognitive techniques to help him snap back to reality and get on with finishing the job in hand.
12.17pm BST
77 min: Ball bursts down the right after a Hunt knockdown. He hammers a shot towards the bottom right, forcing Tilkowski to turn round his post. Corner. From which ...
12.14pm BST
73 min: Ball slides the ball to the left for Moore, who swings a cross back to the far post where Hurst heads down. Bobby Charlton is looking to latch on to the knockdown but Tilkowski comes out to claim. Beckenbauer had nipped in between to guard his keeper and clatters into him, sending Charlton flying into the net as he does so. No foul, though there’s a suggestion of obstruction. An indirect free-kick, six yards out by the right-hand post, would have been interesting.
12.10pm BST
70 min: "When the reds go marching in" chant the crowd, no doubt in celebration of the Labour Party’s current parliamentary majority of 96 seats. And perhaps they’re also trying to get England going again. It’s all a wee bit flat. From his trademark position on the left, Wilson – Ray, not Harold – crosses towards Hunt, who is gently nudged out of the way by the shoulder of Schulz. Crafty, but not a foul. No pen.
12.08pm BST
68 min: Hunt is bowled over down the left. Moore sails a free-kick to the far post, where Jackie Charlton rushes in to face the ball wide right of the target.
12.05pm BST
65 min: Hurst chests down a long Moore pass on the edge of the area. Peters hoicks over the bar. This half must start soon. The crowd entertain themselves by singing "Oh my, what a referee" over some perceived slight when Jack Charlton was penalized for handball a while back. In truth, they’ve little to complain about, and if they’re not careful they’ll put the official in a mood to give them nothing.
12.04pm BST
64 min: With this perhaps in mind, Beckenbauer takes a crack at a free-kick from 35 yards. That is astonishingly unrealistic.
12.02pm BST
62 min: From a German corner on the left, the ball breaks to Beckenbauer on the edge of the area. He drops a shoulder and nudges the ball to the left, but drags a lame effort right of the target. He’s been pretty successful in blunting Bobby Charlton but is diminished as an attacking force as a result, a pale shadow of the goal threat he was against Switzerland, Uruguay and the USSR.
11.59am BST
59 min: Walley Barnes, the colour guy on the BBC, has been filling in dead air time by explaining the concepts of energy conservation. Very green. Both teams appear to be willing to take their chances at the business end of this game.
11.56am BST
56 min: There’s not much of an atmosphere, give or take a few smatterings of "England! England!" Come along, Wembley, World Cup final going on over here.
11.53am BST
53 min: Ball clips a cross in from the right. Peters, always stretching, pokes a header wide right.
11.49am BST
49 min: A scrappy start to the half for the West Germans. Cohen, Stiles and Ball have all taken turns to romp into space down the right, but their cutbacks are inaccurate and easily dealt with.
11.45am BST
This could so easily be three apiece. A magnificent half of football. Good luck splitting these two sides because the margins are paper thin. Amid torrential rain, we’re off again! And England are immediately on the attack through Bobby Charlton, who breaks into the box down the right-hand channel. He looks to pull the trigger but Schulz bundles him to the floor. The crowd scream for a penalty but there’s no reaction from Charlton, who taps hands with the German centre-back as he picks himself up and trots back upfield.
11.44am BST
44 min: Höttges shoots from 30 yards down the right. Come along, some respect for Banks, and indeed goalkeepers everywhere, please.
11.43am BST
43 min: Bobby Charlton shapes to shoot down the inside left but instead slides a diagonal pass into the centre for Peters. For a second, he looks to have time to shoot but Weber comes sliding in to clear. Germany go up the other end through Seeler, who sashays through the midfield and sends a heat-seeker towards the top right. Banks is forced to tip spectacularly over. The corner comes to naught.
11.42am BST
42 min: Wilson loops a speculative header down the inside right. Weber rises, mistimes his leap and nuts a weak clearance to Hunt on the left. The striker takes a thrash at goal with his left peg from a tightish angle, but Tilkowski batters his rising shot down and Höttges is on hand to mop up.
11.41am BST
41 min: Hurst lifts an aimless ball back into the England midfield. Emmerich beats Jack Charlton to the bouncing ball, just to the left of the centre circle, and makes off down the channel. He’ll be in on goal if he evades Moore but the England captain slides across to make a brilliant last-ditch tackle.
11.38am BST
38 min: From the setpiece, the ball drops to Overath on the edge of the area. He creams a rising left-footed shot goalwards. Banks parries wonderfully, then smothers Emmerich’s snapshot on the turn at the left-hand post.
11.37am BST
37 min: And with that, England’s ring-rustiness shows. Held enters the England box down the left but is turned back by Cohen and dispossessed by Stiles. So far, so good. Stiles gives it to Ball, who then puts Cohen in all sorts of bother with a lazy backpass. Cohen, who was starting to move upfield and was wrong-footed by the pass, turns round with the weary resignation of a man who was about to leave work only to be told he’d be needed for a double shift. At that precise moment in time, Cohen was the personification of the phrase “fucksake”. But Cohen recovers and holds off Held just as it looks like he’ll break clear down the left. And then takes one touch too many, allowing Held to burst into the box! Jack Charlton, almost certainly fuming, comes sliding in to concede the corner, planting Held into a bed of photographers behind the goal as he does so.
11.34am BST
34 min: Incredibly sloppy play by Weber, just in front of his own area down the right. He tries to slip the ball past Hunt but only batters it into the striker. The ball breaks to Peters, who attempts a delicate chip goalwards, but gets it all wrong, allowing Tilkowski to claim.
11.32am BST
32 min: A couple of minutes of attritional nonsense, then the game suddenly springs to life! Cohen hits a high diagonal ball into the German area from deep on the right. It’s met by Hurst, level with the left-hand post, 12 yards out. He sends a majestic header towards the bottom left, but it’s saved brilliantly by Tilkowski, slithering across his line. Ball is first to the rebound, spinning through 180 degrees to send the ball across the face of the six-yard area from the left, but there are no red shirts in the danger area and Overath clears for a throw on the right. Germany mop up from the restart.
11.28am BST
28 min: Bobby Charlton and Beckenbauer are never far away from each other. The England man drops a shoulder and slides past the great young German hope, in the imperious style of Alfredo di Stefano. He teases a delicious ball into the centre for Hunt. Weber is forced to hoick the ball out for a corner on the right just as Hunt looked like ghosting in to strike. The corner is an egregious disgrace, Ball wafting his delivery straight into the arms of Tilkowski.
11.23am BST
23 min: The sun’s out!
11.22am BST
22 min: England move upfield, Bobby Charlton’s incomplete one-two with Ball down the inside-left breaks to Cohen, who screws wildly wide left of goal, the sort of shot that would have eventually come back round to him if only everyone had left it.
11.21am BST
21 min: Peters is robbed by Overath in the centre-circle and responds with a petulant shove on the German midfielder. Now now. The referee takes his name. Peters half-turns to show his number in the stroppy schoolboy style. The ref plays his part by wagging his finger three times. Naughty, naughty boy.
11.20am BST
20 min: Peters makes a lung-bursting run from a deep-lying position. He’s got the German defence backtracking, with all sorts of space opening up. What he doesn’t have is the ball. He’s waiting for Ball to rake it in from the left but the pass comes too late. Germany were all over the place there.
11.19am BST
19 min: Schnellinger and Seeler tackle each other in the centre-circle. Now it’s the Germans’ time to look a wee bit flustered.
11.18am BST
Well, this came out of nothing! Bobby Charlton evades Beckenbauer in the centre and slides the ball out left to Moore, who has his ankles clumsily clipped by Overath. Moore jumps to his feet and doesn’t bother making an MGM-sized song-and-dance production of taking the setpiece, simply looking up and clipping it into the area, having spotted Hurst ludicrously unmarked on the penalty spot. The ball’s perfection itself and the in-form Hurst is unchallenged as he adroitly guides the gently dropping ball into the left-hand side of the net. Tilkowski stands on his line, his jaw hanging loose in disbelief, pointing into the space Hurst has just taken advantage of and looking around at his defenders as if to say "aw ... c’mon". Hurst leaps on the spot in celebration, nearly shearing off his own nipples with his knees. Jimmy who?
11.12am BST
13 min: Stiles is given a stern talking-to by the referee for giving Haller’s ankles too much attention in the midfield. Stiles doesn’t seem willing to engage in the philosophical debate, responding to the ref’s thesis with a couple of effs, not the sort of antithesis likely to lead us to any satisfactory higher truth. Play’s waved on.
11.10am BST
OH DEAR! SO MUCH FOR ENGLAND’S STAUNCH DEFENCE!
Ball breaks down the left and drifts inside, finding Peters down the inside right, who drags a shot from 25 yards wide left of goal. So close to an opener, but it’s the Germans who make the breakthrough. Held, with time down the inside left, pitching-wedges a diagonal ball in the general direction of Haller, lurking in the right-hand side of the England box. Wilson rises to clear with a header but his timing is all over the shop, and he only succeeds in cushioning it down to the German winger. Haller takes a touch with his right as he turns and bumbles a shot into the bottom left, past Banks, who was unsighted by Jack Charlton. A run, a punch, a leap and a modest wave to someone in the crowd. Haller considers a grin but then decides it’s time to get back to work.
11.09am BST
9 min: Charlton races forward. He slides the ball out left to Peters, who takes two rangy strides towards the box and unleashes a shot towards the bottom right. Tilkowski is right behind it, and at full length palms away from danger. A fine shot and magnificent save. And this is a lovely, open, end-to-end affair.
11.08am BST
8 min: Utter bedlam in the German area. Stiles swings a ball into the box from the right for Hunt. Tilkowski comes out to punch clear, though not very effectively. Charlton takes up possession on the left and swings another in. The keeper biffs out again, this time under intense pressure from Hurst, who clatters him. Cohen heads the clearance back into the area from the right. Overath is in the business of calming things down when the referee blows for a foul on the keeper, who has remained on the floor. Moore steps in to lash the ball, loose to the left of the D, into the net, simply for the purposes of crowd-pleasing. And by the sound of the amused roar, the crowd have indeed been pleasured.
11.07am BST
7 min: Seeler busies himself upfield, making good from the centre-circle and having a long-range wallop himself. The ball balloons off Wilson and out for a corner on the right, the ball bouncing along the sort of parabola that would please Barnes Wallac ... no, we made a promise, didn’t we? Haller takes but it’s headed clear by Jack Charlton with no fuss.
11.05am BST
5 min: Germany stream upfield, Held down the left passing infield to Emmerich, who from 20 yards slices a slapstick effort out for a throw on the right. The crowd deliver their verdict with a rasping yay. Everyone’s a critic these days.
11.03am BST
3 min: Emmerich slips Held away down the left. Held reaches the corner flag and digs a cross out, but Jack Charlton is on hand in the middle to hoof clear with extreme prejudice.
11.02am BST
2 min: Peters now attempts to guide something goalwards from the edge of the D, but can only screw wide, the ball always too high to control with confidence. Germany stream upfield through Emmerich, who slides a pass into Held, just inside the England area, in space. He’s got far more time than he thinks and turns a weak shot well wide right of the goal. That could have been a dream start for West Germany.
11.01am BST
1 min: Hurst and Bobby Charlton exchange passes down the left. The ball’s fed inside to Stiles, who attempts a daisy-cutter from distance. It drags along the soft turf and is easily blocked.
10.55am BST
If, like poor old Greavsie, you have little interest in the game, BBC2 are showing The Great Dan Patch, a 1949 movie about a man, a fast horse, the horse’s trainer’s daughter, his love for the fast horse and his love for the trainer’s daughter. There’s a romantic triangle for you. Hopefully it’ll have a happier ending than Ramsey–Greaves–Hurst; more heartache might push the Spurs striker over the edge.
England: Gordon Banks, George Cohen, Jack Charlton, Bobby Moore, Ray Wilson, Nobby Stiles, Alan Ball, Bobby Charlton, Martin Peters, Geoff Hurst, Roger Hunt.
10.48am BST
Saturday 30 July 1966
You’ve got to hand it to World Cup finalists England: they’ve come an awfully long way awfully quickly. SIXTEEN YEARS! That’s the time since their first appearance at a World Cup, a sojourn to Brazil that ended in abject humiliation, Joe Gaetjens, the USA, all that. TWELVE YEARS! The time since Hungary inflicted a record 7–1 defeat on England, a result that came hot on the heels of the infamous 6–3 Wembley evisceration. THREE YEARS! The time since Alf Ramsey took charge, losing his first match 5–2 in France to spin out of Euro 64, and his second upon being thoroughly outplayed at home by Scotland. Let those last six words hang, proud sons of Albion.
Continue reading...World Cup final 1966: England v West Germany as it happened
The minute-by-minute report of England's proudest day, from the pages of And Gazza Misses The Final, a collection of MBMs from World Cup matches by Rob Smyth and Scott Murray
1.08pm BST
This report is one of 22 MBMs featured in And Gazza Misses The Final by Rob Smyth and Scott Murray. Relive the goals, the genius, the farces and the fistfights, including the 1962 Battle of Santiago between Chile and Italy, the 1970 World Cup final, Archie Gemmill's wonder goal against Holland, Maradona's Hand of God, every kick of the seismic 1950 Maracanazo between Uruguay and Brazil - and of course Gazza's tears in Turin. Thanks for reading and commenting.
PS. Hugh McIlvanney's match report has been sent over by telegram and can be read here: Hurst's hat-trick wins the World Cup
1.05pm BST
Traffic update: Roads in the West End of London have ground to a halt, with thousands of punters milling around Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus. "Its like VE night, election night and New Years Eve all rolled into one," says an Automobile Association spokesman in his steel helmet and gas mask.
1.04pm BST
As England troop up the stadiums famous 39 steps to the Royal Box, Ramsey shakes each of his players warmly by the hand. And heres something: hes smiling. Aw, bless. Moore lifts the trophy. Three irate peelers have to batter a path back down to the pitch for the team, so many folk are leaning into the stairwell hoping to slap the new world champions on the back. And now Stiles has started skipping around in the sort of big-leggy fashion that suggests he might have seriously chafed his inner thighs. In fairness, he has put in quite a shift.
1.02pm BST
122 min: ITS ALL OVER!. Hurst barely has the energy to jog round in a small semi-circle but hes got to support Ball, who races up to congratulate him. And its the final act of the game! The Wembley pitch floods with well-wishers. England, just as Alf Ramsey said they would, have won the World Cup!
1.01pm BST
121 min: THE GOAL THAT MAKES IT CERTAIN ENGLAND ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!
... he launches an exhausted but brilliant pinpoint pass down the left channel for Hurst. Whos clear! The striker looks like hes wading through treacle on the heavy, cut-up pitch but he makes it to the area and, a millisecond before Overath completes a futile pursuit, lashes an unstoppable shot into the top left! "Thats it,"says the ITV commentator Hugh Johns. "That. Is. It." I wonder what Wolstenholmes saying over on the BBC?
1.00pm BST
120 min: Haller sprints to the corner flag and takes. He whips the ball in. Banks punches clear. The ball lands 30 yards upfield at the feet of Hunt, who rather brilliantly rotates through 180 degrees, drops a shoulder and leaves Schulz, sliding in, for dead. Thats as good a piece of skill as weve seen all afternoon. Unfortunately, his attempt to release Ball down the right with a raking crossfield pass is abysmal, trickling along the ground and easily intercepted in the centre circle by Höttges. The balls sprayed right to Schulz, who curls a desperate last cross into the area. Moore chests down, and ...
12.59pm BST
119 min: This is more like it from Germany, though. Schulz, deep on the right, sends a diagonal ball into the area for Haller to head down into the path of Seeler. Moore has allowed the little German to nip in front of him, but the balls whizzing through the air too quickly and Seeler is forced to scamper towards the corner flag after it. He pulls the ball back to Schulz, who crosses deep again. Cohen calmly heads behind for a corner. He looks calm, anyway.
12.58pm BST
118 min: Its attack versus defence now. "This is Held," says the BBC commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme, though his received pronunciation sounds suspiciously like "this is hell". Which, of course, for England fans it is. Germany arent going to dash the cup from Englands lips at the death again, are they? It doesnt look like it, Haller sending a cross from the left whistling straight down Bankss gizzard.
12.56pm BST
116 min: Held, who has been nothing short of magnificent, powers down the left and fires a low cross into the area, but Overath miscontrols, the ball shooting out of play for a goal-kick.
12.55pm BST
115 min: Corner for Germany as Held crosses deep from the left, forcing Wilson to twist in mid-air and head out on the right. The setpiece is rolled back to Beckenbauer, whose long crossfield ball is too clever by half and intercepted. England swish upfield and this is better by Hunt, who moves inside from the left and sends a rasping drive flying just wide of the right-hand post.
12.53pm BST
113 min: Held drifts in from the left and from the best part of 30 yards scores two rugby points. Unfortunately, rugby points are not recognized as currency by the Fifa mandarins. Refusing to give up, Helds soon back at England, breaking clear down the inside left and shooting inches wide, a powerful shot that Banks probably didnt have covered, but hes handled the ball en route and plays pulled back. Hearts in mouths for England.
12.51pm BST
111 min: Stiles on the wing shanks the ball straight out of play. Its not just Germany who are running on empty.
12.50pm BST
110 min: Hunt has a chance to free the overlapping Wilson down the left but opts to go for gold instead. His attempt to dance into the area is brought to an unceremonious end when Schulz sticks in a shoulder and sends him crashing to the turf. The strikers decision-making hasnt been all that in this extra period.
12.48pm BST
108 min: Hurst cuts in from the right and, looking for the first-ever hat-trick in a World Cup final, shoots from the edge of the area. Bereft of juice, its never getting past the keeper.
12.47pm BST
107 min: Beckenbauer shows good feet to dance past Bobby Charlton in the middle of the park, but having gone on a 40-yard run, hes kaput by the time it comes to shooting and his effort bobbles through to Banks.
12.46pm BST
106 min: England get the ball rolling again. They soon lose possession. But West Germany, drenched in water, look short of energy. Overath and Emmerich combine down the left but the latter doesnt have the power to engage Stiles in combat.
12.45pm BST
105 min: One of the more expansive moves of the match. Haller sprays a long ball down the right for Held, who knocks a pass along the front of the England area. Emmerich takes control and welts a shot towards the far-right corner. High and wide. Banks would have had it covered unless Emmerich found the postage stamp. And thats it for the first half of extra time.
12.44pm BST
104 min: Space for Emmerich down the left. His sliderule diagonal ball into the middle nearly finds Held rushing through, but Cohen slides in to guide the ball away from immediate danger. He looks to have conceded a corner, but Banks scrambles across to save, the ball sticking to his fingertips. Every little helps and England arent in the mood to give anything away.
12.42pm BST
102 min: The Germans were surrounding the linesman after that decision, screaming in his phizog. You cant really blame them. On the other hand, that goal had been coming. England have been excellent since the restart. "We want four" chant the home support. Some people are never happy.
12.41pm BST
101 min: GOAL!!! EXCEPT IT ISNT!!! BUT NEVER MIND THAT, BECAUSE ITS GOING TO COUNT!!!
Conducting the match from the centre circle, Stiles sprays a lovely pass down the right for Ball to race on to. Hes got a jump on Höttges, who races over to cover but is never getting there in a million years. Ball connects first time, cutting back an arcing cross into the heart of the area. The ball takes one bounce just before it reaches Hurst. The striker, ten yards out with his back to goal, just to the right of the penalty spot and ahead of his marker Schulz, brings the rising ball down with the side of his foot and turns to his left. As the ball bobbles towards the right of the goal, Hurst swivels and unleashes a powerful rising shot towards Tilkowski. The ball rockets up over the keepers head and off the underside of the crossbar, before bouncing down on the line and back into the centre. Hunt, who really should be following it in, turns instead to celebrate, both arms aloft. Weber steps in to head over the bar for what he imagines will be a corner. For a couple of seconds, it appears a corners what itll be. Hursts shoulders slump, his hands resting on his knees. But theyre soon in the air in celebration: the referee quickly consults his linesman and points to the centre circle. The home crowd erupt and Wembleys twin towers are launched into space!
12.39pm BST
99 min: The suns out again. Held powers down the inside-left channel to the byline, past a half-arsed challenge from a leggy Jack Charlton, who is possibly also worried about giving away a penalty. Held whips a dangerous ball through the six-yard area, but only Seelers in the centre and it flies over his head, with Banks kidding on hes under complete control. Hunt goes down the other end and whips a fairly aimless cross-cum-shot into the side-netting.
12.36pm BST
96 min: Overath robs Ball and sends Seeler away down the right. He sprays a ball to the opposite wing for Emmerich, who slides a diagonal ball into the box for Held. The striker takes a tired touch earlier youd have fancied him to turn and shoot from 10 yards and England are able to mop up without too much fuss. The German fans try to gee up their team with some metronomic horn parping.
12.35pm BST
95 min: Unperturbed, they keep pressing Germany back. Hunt cuts in from the left and fires a shot across goal and wide of the target.
12.34pm BST
94 min: BOBBY CHARLTON HITS THE POST! Ball swings one in from the right. Peters and Hurst make a nuisance of themselves on the edge of the area. The balls laid back to Bobby Charlton, who sends a low shot crashing admittedly not at the highest speed off the base of the right-hand post. Tilkowski wasnt far away from reaching it. The ball rebounds back into the keepers startled face and away from danger! That was slapstick at its finest. How on earth did that stay out? England will curse that goalframe if they lose this final.
12.33pm BST
93 min: Germany get extra time under way. A strange sense of anti-climax at the moment. England are understandably deflated, the Germans seemingly too knackered to be elated. Its all fairly understandable. Schnellinger sprays a lovely crossfield ball from the left to Seeler on the right-hand edge of the England area, but he slips on the sodden turf and Moore is able to lash free. He finds Ball, who goes on a slalom down the middle of the park and sends a rising shot straight at Tilkowski. The keeper palms over the bar. The corners wasted.
12.30pm BST
The second they restart the game, the referee blows his whistle for full time. They came that close! Stiles boots the ball upfield in impotent rage. We go again for another 30 minutes. Something decisive will have to happen in extra time or were all here again on Tuesday for a replay.
12.29pm BST
89 min: HEARTBREAK FOR ENGLAND!!! Schulz heads forward deep into England territory. Seeler is mounted by Jack Charlton, who heads clear. A needless panic by Charlton and thats a free-kick, 30 yards out, just to the left of goal. Emmerich blasts the free-kick straight at, and through, the wall. The ball comes off Cohen and falls to Held, who from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box blasts goalwards. The shots going towards Banks but hits the back of Schnellinger and deflects to the right, drifting slowly through an anarchic melee. The ball somehow evades both Wilson and Seeler, but Weber is sliding in at the right-hand post and lifts the ball over the despairing arms of Banks. What a farce! Only the young Beckenbauer seems to have the energy to celebrate for Germany. Banks is claiming handball but his head must be as cluttered as the England area was. You can tell he doesnt really believe it. And England dont really believe it.
12.28pm BST
88 min: Overath lumbers down the inside-left channel, using up every last drop of energy. He drops a shoulder past an equally tired Peters to cut inside and unleashes a fizzer just wide right of goal. Whistles are ringing around an anxious Wembley. England are hanging on.
12.27pm BST
87 min: Emmerich sends a pea-roller towards Banks.
12.26pm BST
86 min: HUNT SPURNS A CHANCE TO WRAP IT UP! Moore takes control of the ball in the area, dribbles out to the left, then finds Peters up the wing, who in turn shuttles the ball forward to Ball. The young midfielder takes a touch back towards his area, then whips a ball upfield to release Hunt down the channel. Suddenly, England are three on one, with Bobby Charlton and Hurst in the middle! Hunts ball inside is dreadful, though, lacking the pace to reach Charlton before the covering Overath arrives to hassle the England midfielder. Charlton screws a lacklustre shot wide right, then gives Hunt a look. Hunt should probably have dropped a shoulder and gone on the outside of the only covering defender, Schulz, taking a shot himself. But he lacked both pace and confidence. Will England rue this?
12.24pm BST
84 min: Stiles snaps too energetically at Helds feet down the inside left. Foul. Emmerich floats the ball into the area. Weber eyebrows a header wide right of goal. A mild panic seems to be setting in. England cant keep giving away free-kicks.
12.21pm BST
81 min: Chances are coming thick and fast now. Peters slides Bobby Charlton into the area down the left but he shanks it way off target. Schnellinger, drifting inside from the left, batters a shot straight at Banks. Hurst cuts in from the right and blooters a shot from 20 yards wide left and high. "We want three" chant the crowd. Some folk are never happy.
12.19pm BST
79 min: Ball makes his way into acres of space down the left. Near the corner flag, Höttges comes flying in from behind, a ludicrous scythe of malign intent totally out of keeping with anything weve seen in this match. How he doesnt have his name taken is a fair question, for players have been sent off during this tournament for far less. Just ask poor old Antonio Rattin. Perhaps the referee is taking into account that Höttges has just made the mistake thats likely to cost his country the World Cup.
12.18pm BST
78 min: Ball floats in the corner. Schulz heads clear but only to Hurst on the edge of the box. Hurst shoots under some pressure but only manages a weak effort, which is dribbling towards the left-hand side of the goal. But Höttges slices a woeful clearance up into the air, the ball dropping into the heart of the German box, eight yards out. Peters, rushing in, meets the ball sweetly with his right and slams it into the middle of the goal! England, having waited 103 YEARS since inventing the game, are now 12 MINUTES from becoming the champions of the world! As Peters runs back upfield, arms waving wildly, hes joined by Hurst and Hunt in celebration. But he doesnt lose himself in the moment too much. As he waits for the game to restart, he stretches out his fingers as far as they will go, talking to himself, cognitive techniques to help him snap back to reality and get on with finishing the job in hand.
12.17pm BST
77 min: Ball bursts down the right after a Hunt knockdown. He hammers a shot towards the bottom right, forcing Tilkowski to turn round his post. Corner. From which ...
12.14pm BST
73 min: Ball slides the ball to the left for Moore, who swings a cross back to the far post where Hurst heads down. Bobby Charlton is looking to latch on to the knockdown but Tilkowski comes out to claim. Beckenbauer had nipped in between to guard his keeper and clatters into him, sending Charlton flying into the net as he does so. No foul, though theres a suggestion of obstruction. An indirect free-kick, six yards out by the right-hand post, would have been interesting.
12.10pm BST
70 min: "When the reds go marching in" chant the crowd, no doubt in celebration of the Labour Partys current parliamentary majority of 96 seats. And perhaps theyre also trying to get England going again. Its all a wee bit flat. From his trademark position on the left, Wilson Ray, not Harold crosses towards Hunt, who is gently nudged out of the way by the shoulder of Schulz. Crafty, but not a foul. No pen.
12.08pm BST
68 min: Hunt is bowled over down the left. Moore sails a free-kick to the far post, where Jackie Charlton rushes in to face the ball wide right of the target.
12.05pm BST
65 min: Hurst chests down a long Moore pass on the edge of the area. Peters hoicks over the bar. This half must start soon. The crowd entertain themselves by singing "Oh my, what a referee" over some perceived slight when Jack Charlton was penalized for handball a while back. In truth, theyve little to complain about, and if theyre not careful theyll put the official in a mood to give them nothing.
12.04pm BST
64 min: With this perhaps in mind, Beckenbauer takes a crack at a free-kick from 35 yards. That is astonishingly unrealistic.
12.02pm BST
62 min: From a German corner on the left, the ball breaks to Beckenbauer on the edge of the area. He drops a shoulder and nudges the ball to the left, but drags a lame effort right of the target. Hes been pretty successful in blunting Bobby Charlton but is diminished as an attacking force as a result, a pale shadow of the goal threat he was against Switzerland, Uruguay and the USSR.
11.59am BST
59 min: Walley Barnes, the colour guy on the BBC, has been filling in dead air time by explaining the concepts of energy conservation. Very green. Both teams appear to be willing to take their chances at the business end of this game.
11.56am BST
56 min: Theres not much of an atmosphere, give or take a few smatterings of "England! England!" Come along, Wembley, World Cup final going on over here.
11.53am BST
53 min: Ball clips a cross in from the right. Peters, always stretching, pokes a header wide right.
11.49am BST
49 min: A scrappy start to the half for the West Germans. Cohen, Stiles and Ball have all taken turns to romp into space down the right, but their cutbacks are inaccurate and easily dealt with.
11.45am BST
This could so easily be three apiece. A magnificent half of football. Good luck splitting these two sides because the margins are paper thin. Amid torrential rain, were off again! And England are immediately on the attack through Bobby Charlton, who breaks into the box down the right-hand channel. He looks to pull the trigger but Schulz bundles him to the floor. The crowd scream for a penalty but theres no reaction from Charlton, who taps hands with the German centre-back as he picks himself up and trots back upfield.
11.44am BST
44 min: Höttges shoots from 30 yards down the right. Come along, some respect for Banks, and indeed goalkeepers everywhere, please.
11.43am BST
43 min: Bobby Charlton shapes to shoot down the inside left but instead slides a diagonal pass into the centre for Peters. For a second, he looks to have time to shoot but Weber comes sliding in to clear. Germany go up the other end through Seeler, who sashays through the midfield and sends a heat-seeker towards the top right. Banks is forced to tip spectacularly over. The corner comes to naught.
11.42am BST
42 min: Wilson loops a speculative header down the inside right. Weber rises, mistimes his leap and nuts a weak clearance to Hunt on the left. The striker takes a thrash at goal with his left peg from a tightish angle, but Tilkowski batters his rising shot down and Höttges is on hand to mop up.
11.41am BST
41 min: Hurst lifts an aimless ball back into the England midfield. Emmerich beats Jack Charlton to the bouncing ball, just to the left of the centre circle, and makes off down the channel. Hell be in on goal if he evades Moore but the England captain slides across to make a brilliant last-ditch tackle.
11.38am BST
38 min: From the setpiece, the ball drops to Overath on the edge of the area. He creams a rising left-footed shot goalwards. Banks parries wonderfully, then smothers Emmerichs snapshot on the turn at the left-hand post.
11.37am BST
37 min: And with that, Englands ring-rustiness shows. Held enters the England box down the left but is turned back by Cohen and dispossessed by Stiles. So far, so good. Stiles gives it to Ball, who then puts Cohen in all sorts of bother with a lazy backpass. Cohen, who was starting to move upfield and was wrong-footed by the pass, turns round with the weary resignation of a man who was about to leave work only to be told hed be needed for a double shift. At that precise moment in time, Cohen was the personification of the phrase fucksake. But Cohen recovers and holds off Held just as it looks like hell break clear down the left. And then takes one touch too many, allowing Held to burst into the box! Jack Charlton, almost certainly fuming, comes sliding in to concede the corner, planting Held into a bed of photographers behind the goal as he does so.
11.34am BST
34 min: Incredibly sloppy play by Weber, just in front of his own area down the right. He tries to slip the ball past Hunt but only batters it into the striker. The ball breaks to Peters, who attempts a delicate chip goalwards, but gets it all wrong, allowing Tilkowski to claim.
11.32am BST
32 min: A couple of minutes of attritional nonsense, then the game suddenly springs to life! Cohen hits a high diagonal ball into the German area from deep on the right. Its met by Hurst, level with the left-hand post, 12 yards out. He sends a majestic header towards the bottom left, but its saved brilliantly by Tilkowski, slithering across his line. Ball is first to the rebound, spinning through 180 degrees to send the ball across the face of the six-yard area from the left, but there are no red shirts in the danger area and Overath clears for a throw on the right. Germany mop up from the restart.
11.28am BST
28 min: Bobby Charlton and Beckenbauer are never far away from each other. The England man drops a shoulder and slides past the great young German hope, in the imperious style of Alfredo di Stefano. He teases a delicious ball into the centre for Hunt. Weber is forced to hoick the ball out for a corner on the right just as Hunt looked like ghosting in to strike. The corner is an egregious disgrace, Ball wafting his delivery straight into the arms of Tilkowski.
11.23am BST
23 min: The suns out!
11.22am BST
22 min: England move upfield, Bobby Charltons incomplete one-two with Ball down the inside-left breaks to Cohen, who screws wildly wide left of goal, the sort of shot that would have eventually come back round to him if only everyone had left it.
11.21am BST
21 min: Peters is robbed by Overath in the centre-circle and responds with a petulant shove on the German midfielder. Now now. The referee takes his name. Peters half-turns to show his number in the stroppy schoolboy style. The ref plays his part by wagging his finger three times. Naughty, naughty boy.
11.20am BST
20 min: Peters makes a lung-bursting run from a deep-lying position. Hes got the German defence backtracking, with all sorts of space opening up. What he doesnt have is the ball. Hes waiting for Ball to rake it in from the left but the pass comes too late. Germany were all over the place there.
11.19am BST
19 min: Schnellinger and Seeler tackle each other in the centre-circle. Now its the Germans time to look a wee bit flustered.
11.18am BST
Well, this came out of nothing! Bobby Charlton evades Beckenbauer in the centre and slides the ball out left to Moore, who has his ankles clumsily clipped by Overath. Moore jumps to his feet and doesnt bother making an MGM-sized song-and-dance production of taking the setpiece, simply looking up and clipping it into the area, having spotted Hurst ludicrously unmarked on the penalty spot. The balls perfection itself and the in-form Hurst is unchallenged as he adroitly guides the gently dropping ball into the left-hand side of the net. Tilkowski stands on his line, his jaw hanging loose in disbelief, pointing into the space Hurst has just taken advantage of and looking around at his defenders as if to say "aw ... cmon". Hurst leaps on the spot in celebration, nearly shearing off his own nipples with his knees. Jimmy who?
11.12am BST
13 min: Stiles is given a stern talking-to by the referee for giving Hallers ankles too much attention in the midfield. Stiles doesnt seem willing to engage in the philosophical debate, responding to the refs thesis with a couple of effs, not the sort of antithesis likely to lead us to any satisfactory higher truth. Plays waved on.
11.10am BST
OH DEAR! SO MUCH FOR ENGLANDS STAUNCH DEFENCE!
Ball breaks down the left and drifts inside, finding Peters down the inside right, who drags a shot from 25 yards wide left of goal. So close to an opener, but its the Germans who make the breakthrough. Held, with time down the inside left, pitching-wedges a diagonal ball in the general direction of Haller, lurking in the right-hand side of the England box. Wilson rises to clear with a header but his timing is all over the shop, and he only succeeds in cushioning it down to the German winger. Haller takes a touch with his right as he turns and bumbles a shot into the bottom left, past Banks, who was unsighted by Jack Charlton. A run, a punch, a leap and a modest wave to someone in the crowd. Haller considers a grin but then decides its time to get back to work.
11.09am BST
9 min: Charlton races forward. He slides the ball out left to Peters, who takes two rangy strides towards the box and unleashes a shot towards the bottom right. Tilkowski is right behind it, and at full length palms away from danger. A fine shot and magnificent save. And this is a lovely, open, end-to-end affair.
11.08am BST
8 min: Utter bedlam in the German area. Stiles swings a ball into the box from the right for Hunt. Tilkowski comes out to punch clear, though not very effectively. Charlton takes up possession on the left and swings another in. The keeper biffs out again, this time under intense pressure from Hurst, who clatters him. Cohen heads the clearance back into the area from the right. Overath is in the business of calming things down when the referee blows for a foul on the keeper, who has remained on the floor. Moore steps in to lash the ball, loose to the left of the D, into the net, simply for the purposes of crowd-pleasing. And by the sound of the amused roar, the crowd have indeed been pleasured.
11.07am BST
7 min: Seeler busies himself upfield, making good from the centre-circle and having a long-range wallop himself. The ball balloons off Wilson and out for a corner on the right, the ball bouncing along the sort of parabola that would please Barnes Wallac ... no, we made a promise, didnt we? Haller takes but its headed clear by Jack Charlton with no fuss.
11.05am BST
5 min: Germany stream upfield, Held down the left passing infield to Emmerich, who from 20 yards slices a slapstick effort out for a throw on the right. The crowd deliver their verdict with a rasping yay. Everyones a critic these days.
11.03am BST
3 min: Emmerich slips Held away down the left. Held reaches the corner flag and digs a cross out, but Jack Charlton is on hand in the middle to hoof clear with extreme prejudice.
11.02am BST
2 min: Peters now attempts to guide something goalwards from the edge of the D, but can only screw wide, the ball always too high to control with confidence. Germany stream upfield through Emmerich, who slides a pass into Held, just inside the England area, in space. Hes got far more time than he thinks and turns a weak shot well wide right of the goal. That could have been a dream start for West Germany.
11.01am BST
1 min: Hurst and Bobby Charlton exchange passes down the left. The balls fed inside to Stiles, who attempts a daisy-cutter from distance. It drags along the soft turf and is easily blocked.
10.55am BST
If, like poor old Greavsie, you have little interest in the game, BBC2 are showing The Great Dan Patch, a 1949 movie about a man, a fast horse, the horses trainers daughter, his love for the fast horse and his love for the trainers daughter. Theres a romantic triangle for you. Hopefully itll have a happier ending than RamseyGreavesHurst; more heartache might push the Spurs striker over the edge.
England: Gordon Banks, George Cohen, Jack Charlton, Bobby Moore, Ray Wilson, Nobby Stiles, Alan Ball, Bobby Charlton, Martin Peters, Geoff Hurst, Roger Hunt.
10.48am BST
Saturday 30 July 1966
Youve got to hand it to World Cup finalists England: theyve come an awfully long way awfully quickly. SIXTEEN YEARS! Thats the time since their first appearance at a World Cup, a sojourn to Brazil that ended in abject humiliation, Joe Gaetjens, the USA, all that. TWELVE YEARS! The time since Hungary inflicted a record 71 defeat on England, a result that came hot on the heels of the infamous 63 Wembley evisceration. THREE YEARS! The time since Alf Ramsey took charge, losing his first match 52 in France to spin out of Euro 64, and his second upon being thoroughly outplayed at home by Scotland. Let those last six words hang, proud sons of Albion.
Continue reading...April 29, 2014
Danish Dynamite: the Story of Football's Greatest Cult Team – extract
This is an extract from Danish Dynamite: The Story of Football's Greatest Cult Team by Lars Eriksen, Mike Gibbons and Rob Smyth
Continue reading...Danish Dynamite: the Story of Football's Greatest Cult Team extract
This is an extract from Danish Dynamite: The Story of Football's Greatest Cult Team by Lars Eriksen, Mike Gibbons and Rob Smyth
Continue reading...April 15, 2014
World Cup: 25 stunning moments … No10: Dennis Bergkamp's wonder goal | Rob Smyth
Bobby Moore never got a bathmat wet in his life. Mike Summerbee, who sometimes shared a room with Moore on England trips, said he was "the only man who could have a bath and get out dry". Moore would flick the water off one leg, dry that with a towel and then step out on to the dry leg, before continuing the process with the rest of his body. Moore's routine will come as no surprise to those who watched his immaculate, pristine defending. Nor will the fact that he brought such meticulousness to his wardrobe, where jumpers were hung up in order from dark to light. "It was," says his first wife Tina in Bobby Moore: By The Person Who Knew Him Best, "almost an aesthetic pleasure to open the wardrobe."
The fastidiousness demonstrated by Moore is one of the sub-genres of perfectionism within football. There's also the impossible, self-torturing expectations of perfectionist-winners such as Soren Lerby and Roy Keane, whose business face should be the subject of a modernist painting entitled simply: 'Standards'. Other significant manifestations include the perfection-making practice of forces of nurture like Peter Shilton or Cristiano Ronaldo, Spain's obsessive-compulsive tiki-taka and Pep Guardiola's need for control, and the artistic leanings of players like Eric Cantona and Dimitar Berbatov.
Continue reading...World Cup: 25 stunning moments No10: Dennis Bergkamp's wonder goal | Rob Smyth
Bobby Moore never got a bathmat wet in his life. Mike Summerbee, who sometimes shared a room with Moore on England trips, said he was "the only man who could have a bath and get out dry". Moore would flick the water off one leg, dry that with a towel and then step out on to the dry leg, before continuing the process with the rest of his body. Moore's routine will come as no surprise to those who watched his immaculate, pristine defending. Nor will the fact that he brought such meticulousness to his wardrobe, where jumpers were hung up in order from dark to light. "It was," says his first wife Tina in Bobby Moore: By The Person Who Knew Him Best, "almost an aesthetic pleasure to open the wardrobe."
The fastidiousness demonstrated by Moore is one of the sub-genres of perfectionism within football. There's also the impossible, self-torturing expectations of perfectionist-winners such as Soren Lerby and Roy Keane, whose business face should be the subject of a modernist painting entitled simply: 'Standards'. Other significant manifestations include the perfection-making practice of forces of nurture like Peter Shilton or Cristiano Ronaldo, Spain's obsessive-compulsive tiki-taka and Pep Guardiola's need for control, and the artistic leanings of players like Eric Cantona and Dimitar Berbatov.
Continue reading...March 27, 2014
England v West Germany at Italia '90 as it happened
This is an edited extract from And Gazza Misses The Final, a collection of minute-by-minute reports from classic World Cup matches written by Rob Smyth and Scott Murray (Constable, £8.99). The book includes 22 full games starting with Brazil v Uruguay in 1950 - and a series of magic minutes involving Pele, Benjamin Massing and other greats
4.06pm GMT
(With enormous thanks to guardian.com/sport editor James Dart.)
4.05pm GMT
Its not too trite to say that neither side really deserved to go out. England were the better side in normal time and West Germany in extra time. The Germans will go on to their third consecutive final, hoping to avenge their defeats in 1982 and 1986. England go into a third-place play-off with Italy on Saturday after a night of raw emotion and proud heartbreak that will live with us all for ever. Gazza has tears streaming down his reddened face as he salutes the England fans. Time to listen to World in Motion on loop while drowning a million sweet sorrows.
4.03pm GMT
WADDLE MISSES AND ENGLAND ARE OUT! England 11 West Germany (34 pens) Waddle smashes his penalty inches over the bar although such is its dramatic trajectory it soon looks like hes missed by yards and Englands dream is over. Its the cruellest way to go out, particularly after such a wonderful performance. Many of us have never seen them play better. Waddle sinks to his knees, crestfallen. Matthäus breaks away from the German celebrations to help him to his feet, which is a nice touch from a truly world-class player. Bobby Robson smiles ruefully but also proudly, gently punching the air as if to say, Bugger our luck. He knows how desperately close England were not just to reaching the final but to winning the World Cup. Their campaign started farcically and ended gloriously. Yes, okay, gloriously and farcically.
4.02pm GMT
THON SCORES! England 34 West Germany. England are on the brink now. Thon places another accurate penalty into the bottom-right corner. Shilton went the right way yet again but, again, got nowhere near it. Itll be Waddle rather than Gascoigne, who is presumably too much of an emotional wreck to take a penalty, and if he doesnt score England are out.
4.01pm GMT
PEARCE MISSES! England 33 West Germany. Oh no. Stuart Pearce, so reliable from the spot for Nottingham Forest, has had his kick saved by Illgner. In truth it wasnt a great penalty, blasted almost straight down the middle but low enough so that, even though Illgner had dived to his right, he was able to save it with his feet.
4.01pm GMT
RIEDLE SCORES! England 33 West Germany. Again Shilton goes the right way and again hes nowhere near saving it. In fact, it seems hes waiting to see where the kick is going before he dives. Thats a dodgy tactic because the German penalties are so accurate. That one, from Riedle, was whipped high into the right of the net.
4.00pm GMT
PLATT SCORES! England 32 West Germany. That was a bit close for comfort. Platt sidefooted it to his left but it was at a saveable height and Illgner managed to get fingertips on it. Thankfully for England it was far enough out of his reach that he couldnt get a full hand on it and he could only help it into the net. Platt trots back to the halfway line with the nervous smile of a man who has avoided a firing squad.
4.00pm GMT
MATTHAUS SCORES! England 22 West Germany. You dont save those. Matthäus booms a frighteningly certain penalty low to Shiltons right. Shilton went the right way again but was getting nowhere near that.
3.59pm GMT
BEARDSLEY SCORES! England 21 West Germany. Beardsley shuffles forward a little nervously then takes another excellent penalty, high to his right. Illgner went the right way but couldnt get near it.
3.58pm GMT
BREHME SCORES! England 11 West Germany. An even better penalty, placed carefully into the bottom-left corner with his right foot. Shilton dived the right way but it was a wonderfully accurate penalty, right into the side-netting. When Brehme took a penalty at the 1986 World Cup he used his left foot. You cant get much more two-footed than that.
3.58pm GMT
LINEKER SCORES! England 10 West Germany. Did you expect anything else? Lineker drills it confidently into the left side of the net as Illgner dives the other way.
3.57pm GMT
Before Sundays game against Cameroon, England had not had a penalty for four years. Now they will have taken at least seven in four days. There are 17 years between the goalkeepers: Peter Shilton, 40, and Bodo Illgner, 23. Illgner will be first in action because England are going to kick first. Itll be Lineker, in fact.
3.54pm GMT
With England hanging on for dear life, the referee blows five seconds early. So England are into virgin territory: a penalty shoot-out. Both sets of players embrace warmly. This has been a cracking game and theres a general recognition that neither side deserves to lose. The mutual respect is quite moving.
3.52pm GMT
118 min: NOW BUCHWALD HITS THE POST! Can you take any more of this? Germany were so close to winning the match there. Riedle broke forward from the halfway line and played the ball to the right of the box for Matthäus, who came inside and had his left-footed shot blocked by Pearce. It broke to Buchwald the bloody centre-back who controlled it calmly 20 yards from goal and then, using Steven as a screen, placed a lovely curler to the left of Shilton that bounced up on to the outside of the post! Unbelievable stuff.
3.52pm GMT
117 min: The corner comes to nothing and Germany break dangerously. Augenthaler drills a superb 40-yard pass to Klinsmann, who heads it beyond the last man Walker and, for a moment, looks like he has him beaten for pace. Dont be silly. Walker catches him up on the right of the box, stays on his feet and makes a superb interception. He has been simply majestic.
3.51pm GMT
116 min: John Motson says that Bobby Robson told him this afternoon that the five penalty takers, if needed, would be Lineker, Beardsley, Gascoigne, Pearce and Platt. We almost didnt need them because Illgner fumbled Stevens cross from the left awkwardly over his own bar for a corner.
3.50pm GMT
115 min: England are starting to look tired now. Brehme, a man with two right feet, zips infield from the left and plays a one-two with Riedle before spanking a vicious right-footed shot just over the bar from 20 yards. Shilton had it covered but it came right off the sweet spot.
3.50pm GMT
114 min: GOOD SAVE FROM SHILTON! Thon has far too much space to take possession on the edge of the D and shape a lovely right-footed curler towards the far post. Shilton springs a long way to his left to catch the ball a slightly showy save but still a good one.
3.47pm GMT
113 min: Its credit to Platt and Gascoigne in particular that Matthäus has been so quiet as an attacking force tonight. He has had his hands full defensively.
3.47pm GMT
Level was offside in 1990. Even so this (after 116m) could easily have been given: http://t.co/YUuiq0GWrV
3.46pm GMT
112 min Platt, arriving late in the box, leaps almost backwards to head Parkers flat cross over the bar from the penalty spot.
3.45pm GMT
111 min: PLATT HAS A GOAL DISALLOWED! From the resulting free-kick, swung in by Waddle, Platt flicked a smart header past Illgner but he had been flagged offside a split-second earlier. There are no complaints but that was seriously tight. The Germans pushed up but Berthold stayed a bit deeper and was so close to playing Platt onside. He was level at worst, as was Gascoigne further across the line. Platt was fractionally onside and Gascoigne fractionally off. So its the right decision but it was painfully close.
3.44pm GMT
110 min: Gascoigne shields the ball down the right wing and Brehme simply boots him up in the air from behind. Thats an appalling tackle much worse than Gascoignes on Berthold and he is rightly booked. Brehme and Gascoigne shake hands and pat each other on the head. Theres been a huge amount of goodwill in this game. You have to admire Gascoignes response to that yellow card. If anything its given him a second wind.
3.43pm GMT
109 min: Riedle nutmegs Walker down the left and toe-bungs a dangerous cross towards Klinsmann. Gascoigne, running towards his own goal at the near post, just manages to divert the ball away from Klinsmann.
3.41pm GMT
107 min: England have switched their wingers so that they are playing on the wrong side: Steven on the left and Waddle on the right. Steven plays a beautiful pass on the turn down the left but Pearce is fractionally offside.
3.40pm GMT
106 min: England kick off the second period of extra time. Fifteen minutes without a goal and England will be involved in their first-ever penalty shoot-out. West Germany have had three: they lost in the final of Euro 76 but won matches at the World Cup in 1982 and 1986.
3.39pm GMT
Who needs a drink?
3.39pm GMT
105 min: WADDLE HITS THE POST! England come within an inch of going ahead with the last kick of the half. When Stevens cross from the left was partially cleared, the same man leapt above Berthold to head it back towards the area. It came to Waddle, 12 yards out on the left side of the box, and he smacked a brilliant first-time shot across Illgner and flush off the inside of the far post. Thats desperately unlucky not least because Platt was within a whisker of putting the rebound in, but it flew off the post so quickly that he couldnt react in time.
3.36pm GMT
103 min: After that initial wobble, Gascoigne has managed to refocus and is doing some diligent defensive work.
3.34pm GMT
101 min: Thon, 25 yards out, swooshes a very good shot not too far wide of the near post. West Germany have been much the better side in this half.
3.33pm GMT
A different angle on Gazza's booking (1h7m into the video). He goes through 472 different emotions in 20 seconds. http://t.co/JVSEoIEvZF
3.32pm GMT
100 min: . . . AND GAZZA MISSES THE FINAL. England have to get there first, of course, but if they do, Gascoigne will not feature against Argentina on Sunday. This is horrible. He is on the cusp of tears and the proud English tradition of the stiff upper lip is taking a serious hit: Gazzas is wobbling all over the place. Lineker says something to Gascoigne and then pulls his Grave Face before saying Have a word with him to the bench. That is just too cruel. It does rather seem that the West Germans got him booked, which is a desperate shame because this game has otherwise been played in an incredibly good spirit. Poor old Gazza. He has been the star of Englands tournament and now his whole world has collapsed. Its not just Gazza, either; English football has just had its heart broken into a million tiny pieces.
3.32pm GMT
99 min: HOLD ON . . . THERE COULD BE TROUBLE HERE . . . Gascoigne overruns the ball in midfield and then lunges with typically naive enthusiasm at Berthold. Its a clear foul but does not merit Bertholds reaction 77 rollovers or that of the rest of the German camp, who are all at the referee, both on the field and from the bench. Gascoigne, realizing the implications, put both hands up in apology like a kid who has used that whoopee cushion on his teacher once too often and will never do it again I promise but please dont punish me this time. He immediately goes to apologize to Berthold. It looks like hes got away with it, for ten seconds at least, but then, with Hitchcockian suddenness, out comes the card . . .
3.31pm GMT
97 min: England are rocking. Beardsley gives the ball away cheaply on the halfway line and, seconds later, Walker just gets in front of Riedle at the near post to put Brehmes cross out for a corner.
3.30pm GMT
96 min: KLINSMANN MISSES ANOTHER CHANCE! West Germany could easily be ahead. Wright came deep with Klinsmann to try to win possession and, as he followed the ball, Klinsmann kept running into the space behind. The ball came to the sweeper Augenthaler, who flipped an inviting angled pass over the top. Klinsmann was free, 12 yards from goal and in line with the left-hand post, but he screwed his left-footed volley across goal and just wide. It was a harder chance than it looked because the pass was coming almost over his shoulder and there was no pace on the ball, but again a player of his class should surely have done better.
3.28pm GMT
95 min: GREAT SAVE FROM SHILTON! Shilton has had scarcely anything to do all night but now produces a superb save from Klinsmann. West Germany moved the ball slowly, all the way across the field from right to left, with Thon eventually shifting it down the line to Brehme. He curled over a wonderful first-time cross and Klinsmann, towering above Walker on the six-yard line, thumped a downward header towards goal. Shilton plunged to his right to make a superb reaction stop with both hands. It wasnt right in the corner, and someone as good in the air as Klinsmann might feel he should have done better, but it was a brilliant save. That mistake against Uruguay just before the tournament seems a long, long time ago.
3.26pm GMT
93 min Pearce wins the first corner of extra-time. Its swung in by Gascoigne and nicks off the head of a defender at the near post, but the stretching Wright can only loop the ball up in the air for Illgner to claim easily.
3.25pm GMT
92 min: A bit of danger for England as West Germany break two on two. Klinsmann runs into the box but is superbly tackled by Walker. He really is imperious.
3.23pm GMT
91 min: West Germany kick off from left to right. England havent used their final substitution.
3.19pm GMT
Bobby Robson is wandering round rallying the troops and giving tactical instructions to Parker; Waddle and Bull are having a laugh about something. England look pretty relaxed. Weve got another half-hour and we might have penalties, says Des Lynam. Are you ready for this?
3.16pm GMT
Hows your ticker? For the third game in a row, England are going to extra time the first time that has ever happened in any World Cup. Its the least they deserve after a fine, sophisticated performance, their best of the tournament by a mile.
3.14pm GMT
89 min: England are passing the ball around at the back and both sides look happy to take extra time now. Thats all well and good for them but some of us planned to watch M*A*S*H on BBC2 at nine.
3.12pm GMT
87 min: A little bit of West German pressure, with an extended series of throw-ins on the right wing, but England defend them comfortably enough. Walker and Wright have been outstanding.
3.10pm GMT
85 min: Beardsley is still on, the plan to introduce Bull having been aborted after the goal.
3.09pm GMT
84 min: Gascoigne nails a glorious 60-yard crossfield pass to Lineker, who is just about to put the ball back in the box when Platt is penalized for some off-the-ball tomfoolery
3.09pm GMT
83 min: Thats Linekers tenth World Cup goal: four this year and six in 1986. What a gem. He started this tournament slowly but has looked really sharp tonight and he took that beautifully. It was a more difficult chance than it looked.
3.07pm GMT
England have saved themselves in the last ten minutes again! Parker swung over a long cross towards Lineker from near the halfway line on the right. It hit the thigh of Kohler, who was running towards his own goal, and as it bounced up Lineker kneed it away from Augenthaler and Berthold before cracking an excellent left-footed shot across goal and into the far corner. The Germans had too many cooks in the box but it was clinical finishing. On the bench Bobby Robson reclines in his seat while wearing the most beautiful smile: warm, benign and extremely proud.
3.06pm GMT
79 min: The tireless Parker runs Brehme down the right to win a corner. Its tossed deep by Beardsley and Wrights looping header is comfortably saved by Illgner. Bobby Robson is about to roll the dice for the last time: Steve Bull is preparing to come on, presumably for Beardsley.
3.02pm GMT
75 min: The game is meandering a bit. England are doing okay but West Germany look reasonably comfortable.
2.57pm GMT
71 min: Pearce goes on a barnstorming, leggy surge from the halfway line, all the way to the edge of the box where he falls over after a double challenge from Berthold and Augenthaler. It looked like Berthold got something on the ball but the referee gives the free-kick, 20 yards from goal. This is a great opportunity for Gascoigne but in fact Waddle lays it square to Beardsley, whose shot is blocked desperately by Matthäus. Before the kick was taken, Trevor Steven came on to replace Butcher, so England are back to 4-4-2.
2.55pm GMT
69 min: HOW IS THAT NOT A PENALTY? England are desperately unlucky here. Waddle, on the left of the box, draws the tackle from Augenthaler with a swing of the hips and then shifts the ball to his left just before Augenthaler takes him down. That is a clear penalty but the referee waves play on. In his defence, nobody appealed Waddle just got straight up with that hangdog gait and on first viewing it was hard to be certain it was a penalty. But when you see the replays there is no doubt whatsoever.
2.53pm GMT
68 min Waddle makes a lovely angled run behind the defence but Gascoigne overhits his through ball this much and that allows the last man Kohler to come across and concede a corner. Kohler has been fantastic tonight.
2.53pm GMT
67 min: West Germany make their second substitution: Stefan Reuter replaces Hässler, who hasnt recovered from the tackle from Pearce that led to Brehmes goal. Reuter is normally a right wing-back but he has gone straight into midfield.
2.52pm GMT
65 min: You have to admire the spirit England have shown since going behind. No sulking or feeling sorry for themselves after such an unfortunate goal; just a quiet determination to get an equalizer. Gascoigne swerves away from Augenthaler on the edge of the area and is baulked. He is so good at taking defenders out of the game in the middle of the pitch, a rare quality indeed among midfield players. The free-kick hits the wall and moments later Parker clatters Buchwald, bringing the first yellow card of the game.
2.49pm GMT
63 min: WHAT A CHANCE FOR ENGLAND! That was desperately close to an equalizer. After he was fouled on the left, Gascoigne swung in a superb free-kick and Pearce, getting in front of Riedle at the near post, flicked a backheader across goal and just wide of the far post with Illgner motionless.
2.48pm GMT
62 min: Matthäus moves away from Butcher far too easily and charges to within 25 yards of Shilton before shooting across goal and well wide. England just need to keep their nerve and make sure they dont go two down because if they do its over.
2.48pm GMT
61 min: Is Shilton at fault for the goal? Difficult to know. His feet didnt move quite as quickly as they might but it was a horrible and unexpected deflection.
2.45pm GMT
It had been coming but England are desperately unlucky with the manner of this goal. Pearce fouled Hässler 22 yards from goal, to the right of centre. The free-kick was touched off to Brehme, whose shot took a vicious deflection off Parker before looping high in the air and agonizingly over the stranded Shilton, who couldnt back-pedal quickly enough and ended up helping it into the net as he fell backwards.
2.44pm GMT
58 min: A lucky escape for England. Matthus goes on a trademark robotic charge down the left wing, away from Waddle, Gascoigne and Walker, but when he gets into the box he slips over just as he is about to pick out a cross. England are under siege now, says John Motson.
2.43pm GMT
57 min West Germany are really turning the screw. Matthäus lays the ball back invitingly for Thon, who drags a 25-yard shot well wide of the near post.
2.42pm GMT
56 min: Lineker is flattened by Kohler, who then picks him up and pats his sweaty head. Theres been a lot of that in a match that has been played in a really good spirit.
2.40pm GMT
54 min: This game is extremely open at the moment too open and Wright makes a really important block from Riedle on the edge of the box.
2.38pm GMT
53 min: England win a corner and almost concede a goal within 20 seconds. After Pearce miscontrolled the ball 35 yards from goal, West Germany broke in a flash. Walker tackled Klinsmann but the ball came to Thon, who ran 25 yards into the box before shifting the ball to the left of the last man Parker and hitting a shot that Shilton had to beat away to his left.
2.34pm GMT
49 min A good move from England. Waddle, on the right wing, flips a superb first-time return pass over the top for the onrushing Parker. He gets beyond Brehme and into the box, but his touch is a little heavy and Augenthaler comes across to clear.
2.33pm GMT
48 min: West Germany have started this half as they finished the first and are having a lot of the ball.
2.32pm GMT
47 min: Matthäus plays a dangerous one-two with Riedle before breaking into the box but four England defenders manage to crowd him out.
2.31pm GMT
46 min: West Germany kick off from right to left.
2.18pm GMT
Half-time chit-chat. The BBC boys are full of praise for Walker, with Terry Venables describing him as unbeatable. Thats what they sing. Jimmy Hill, channelling William Morris, says its a pleasure to see an England team give such a display in the arts and crafts of the game.
2.16pm GMT
HALF TIME: England 00 West Germany. After a few hairy minutes, England get the breather they need and deserve for a superb first-half performance: controlled, mature and rousing. There werent any clear-cut chances for either side but its been a very good game.
2.12pm GMT
42 min: GET BEHIND THE SOFA. ITS HAPPENING! West Germany are suddenly all over England, having their best spell of the game by a mile. A sustained spell of high-tempo possession in the England half ends with Buchwald failing to win a free-kick on the edge of the area. England are hanging on and could really do with half time.
2.10pm GMT
41 min: West Germanys best chance yet. They win a free-kick 25 yards out, left of centre, and while everyone is expecting a shot Brehme instead lays it square to Augenthaler. He cuts across a very good, swooshing right-footed strike and Shilton has to move smartly to his right to tip it over two-handed, falling off his feet in the process.
2.09pm GMT
39 min: Riedle replaces Völler, who is being helped down the touchline. He must be doubtful for Sundays final when, sorry, if West Germany get there. What a tournament he has had: sent off for being flobbed on in the second round, suspended for the quarter-final, now injured in the semi.
2.08pm GMT
38 min A patient West German move ends with Hassler finding Thon 25 yards out. He dummies Platt and then crunches a good left-footed shot that Shilton saves comfortably despite a potentially awkward bounce just in front of him.
2.07pm GMT
36 min Völler is still down and Karl-Heinz Riedle is getting ready. Völler barely got a kick from Walker, who has been immense. Again.
2.04pm GMT
34 min: CHRIS WADDLE HITS THE BAR FROM 45 YARDS! It wouldnt have counted, as the referee had blown for a foul by Platt a split-second earlier, but that was an incredible effort. The ball broke loose off Augenthaler and Waddle lofted it first time towards goal, a golf shot really, and Illgner had to jump backwards to tip it on to the bar. That was reminiscent of Pelé in 1970 but this time it was a bloody Englishman doing it.
2.03pm GMT
33 min Völler may have to go off here: he deliberately kicked the ball out of play and immediately waved to the physio. It looks like hes pulled something in the back of his leg.
2.00pm GMT
30 min: That was a bit of a scare for England. Völler ran down the right-hand side of the box on to an angled pass from the sweeper Augenthaler. Shilton came to meet him unnecessarily and Völler moved away from him before Gascoigne came round to block his cross. That was an important interception because Shilton was out of the game.
1.58pm GMT
28 min: Platt and Gascoigne play a classy one-two on the halfway line, and Platt keeps running into the space down the left wing, all the way into the area before trying and failing to take on Augenthaler. He should have looked for Waddle or Lineker but that was a rare bit of immaturity from a player who has been one of the surprise joys of this tournament.
1.57pm GMT
27 min: Terry Butcher does a backheel! Weve seen everything now. Butcher, in the centre circle, backheels the ball to Gascoigne and then swans off back to his position with the studied indifference of a man who has just saved the world but, honestly, its no biggie.
1.54pm GMT
24 min: Another good effort from Gascoigne. Waddles free-kick from the right is headed clear by Klinsmann; it comes to Gascoigne, who controls the ball on his chest 22 yards from goal and then lashes the bouncing ball towards goal. It was a sweet strike but straight at Illgner, who held on.
1.54pm GMT
23 min John Motson reminds us that there are three England players who will miss the match if they get booked tonight: Pearce, Gascoigne and McMahon. West Germany also have three on a yellow card: Berthold, Matthaus and Klinsmann. Argentina will be without four players in Sundays final because of cards they received last night.
1.49pm GMT
19 min: Linekers movement and link play have been really smart. He shifts the ball away from Kohler on the left and hammers over a deep cross towards Parker of all people, and he heads wide under pressure. The BBC co-commentator Trevor Brooking says this is easily Englands best start of the tournament.
1.47pm GMT
17 min: A delightful move from England. Platt, with six West German defenders surrounding him, waits and waits and then plays a smart pass in behind the defence for the onrushing Pearce. He hits a first-time cross towards Lineker at the near post and Kohler slides in desperately to concede a corner. A great tackle, and lovely stuff from England.
1.45pm GMT
15 min: Gazza cockily Cruyff-turns away from Klinsmann on the halfway line. He has been very confident and influential so far, more so than Matthäus. This really is his stage.
1.42pm GMT
12 min: West Germany have their first half-chance. Hässler, a mischievous little player, dupes Butcher on the edge of the box before hitting a left-footed shot that spins off Pearce and not too far wide of the far post.
1.41pm GMT
11 min: England are playing some tidy football, exclaims the BBCs John Motson, shocked by a display of incontrovertible Anglo-competence.
1.40pm GMT
10 min: Another decent opening for England. Beardsley breaks the offside trap on the right wing but, with only Lineker in support, he shanks his cross wide of the near post.
1.38pm GMT
8 min West Germany havent got into this game at all as an attacking force yet. Walker and Wright are jockstrap-tight on Voller and Klinsmann.
1.35pm GMT
5 min: Difficult to know how to break this to you, but England have started brilliantly. Lineker lays a loose ball off to Gascoigne, who shimmies smartly inside Augenthaler on the edge of the box before his thumping left-footed shot is well blocked by Kohler.
1.33pm GMT
3 min: Butcher, rather than Wright, is playing as the spare man at the back. Perhaps they dont trust his legs in a one-on-one against these two quick West German forwards. Walker is taking Völler and Wright is on Klinsmann.
1.32pm GMT
2 min: WHAT A START FROM ENGLAND! England come storming out of the traps and Lineker wins a corner on the right inside 15 seconds. Its taken by Beardsley and half-cleared to the edge of the box, where Gascoigne hooks the bouncing ball back whence it came with his left foot. Its a beautiful effort and, although its swerving just wide of the near post, Illgner leaps to his left to palm it behind. That leads to a second corner, which leads to a third. That leads to nothing but England almost get in again thirty seconds later when Beardsley, played onside by Buchwald, breaks into the box from the left. He has Lineker and Waddle in support but tries to take on Buchwald, who dispossesses him well. Rousing stuff from England.
1.29pm GMT
1 min: England kick off from right to left. They are in white; West Germany are in their funky epilepsy-inducing green away kit.
1.27pm GMT
Anthemwatch: The England fans boo the West German anthem. For heavens sake, you bastards. Gascoigne, who has had some absurd criticism from humourless clowns for sticking his tongue out during the anthem, settles for just easing the tip out and smiling gently.
1.25pm GMT
The players are in the tunnel. Wright has a big plaster on his left eye; its a right mess, like someone applied it while blindfolded and high on Hofmeister. Waddle has chopped off his mullet (insert your own Samson joke here). Gascoigne gives Beardsley a kiss on the right cheek. This is just another game in the park to him, isnt it? He has spent the last month taking the piss out of everyone, from Ronald Koeman to Mark Goodier on Top of the Pops, so why should this faze him? West Germany look calm, businesslike and other German clichés. This really is just another game for them, their eighth semi-final out of nine attempts in the last 20 years. You probably dont need me to tell you how many England have been in during that time. Clue: its less than one.
1.14pm GMT
Back in the studio, homoerotic comedy duo Terry Venables and Jimmy Hill shake hands before saying a word. Lets give it two minutes before they disagree over something. They make for great TV. Alongside them, Bryan Robson exudes the impotent frustration of a man looking in on his own party. Hill says he is frightened out of my life. Hes not the only one.
1.03pm GMT
Build-up: The BBC dont say youre watching it on ITV, youll have missed Pavarotti for a start begin their coverage with an obvious but neat montage contrasting the classes of 1966 and 1990. The highlight is Bobby Robson shaking his head back and forth in utter confusion, like a man contemplating the promise of a night of unbridled lust with Cindy Crawford, as he considers the possibility of winning the World Cup: Well . . . Ive been in the game now 40 years . . . it would be lovely to . . . To win the . . . the biggest prize the game had to offer, the world championship. What a lovely man he is.
12.58pm GMT
Bobby Robson said that 442 saved us against Cameroon on Sunday but while that formation will always be his beloved wife, he was always likely to return to his sexy foreign bit on the side against such formidable opposition. That means the extra defensive cover of a sweeper system and just one change from the side that started against Cameroon: Peter Beardsley for the injured John Barnes. Des Walker and Mark Wright have been passed fit, although Wright has six stitches above his left eye. Englands five substitutes include Trevor Steven, so impressive when he came on against Cameroon, and Steve Bull of the Second Division.
West Germany bring in two impish schemers, Thomas Hässler and Olaf Thon, for Pierre Littbarski and Uwe Bein. Rudi Völler also returns, having served his one-match suspension for being used as a hankie by Frank Rijkaard; Karl-Heinz Riedle drops to the bench.
11.37am GMT
Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then well begin. This is Englands biggest match for 24 years, since the day some people were on the pitch thinking it was all over. You might want to lie down as you contemplate this, but when England step on to the field to face West Germany tonight, they will be 90 minutes away from a World Cup final.
In real terms, they are arguably already in one. If we can win tonight, were in the final, with a great chance of beating Argentina, says Bobby Robson. Great chance. This is the big one. Germanys the big one. Although Diego Maradonas side played well to lubricate Italian eyes last night, they have otherwise been poor in this tournament and will be without four suspended players for the final, including the superb but very stupid basketball star Claudio Caniggia.
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