Rob Smyth's Blog, page 117
February 14, 2020
The Fiver | Donating their last 13 games to charitable causes like Everton
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Happy 14 February! Your super, soaraway, self-coupled Fiver was planning to spend it like every other Valentine’s Day: on our own, watching a fuzzy, unspeakably erotic VHS called Goals Galore 1988-89. Then we realised that the Premier League’s weird, staggered, why-can’t-we-just-do-it-like-the-rest-of-Europe winter break includes a match between Wolves and Leicester that we can watch tonight! It’s the first part of a scattered fixture list that needs its own Craig David tribute song: took her for a drink to watch Southampton v Burnley, we were discussing the pros and cons of a double pivot by Monday, restraining order was in place by Thursday.
Related: Paul Pogba hopes for summer exit but Manchester United want €100m
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February 9, 2020
South Africa v England: third ODI – live!
9.31am GMT
The wicket-taker does it again! Bavuma gets a big stride in, but a big stride in for him, and his bat, well away from his body, invites the ball to snake into his pad! Up goes the finger!
9.29am GMT
21st over: South Africa 89-1 (De Kock 45, Bavuma 29) De Kock takes a single and Bavuma plays all around one, which hits the pad; they appeal but nothing doing and no review.
9.28am GMT
20th over: South Africa 88-1 (De Kock 44, Bavuma 29) “Top-edge central lads,” says Bairstow as Bavuma misses a mow; I think the 29 goes there after Techniquegone West. And yes, the 29 is the greatest London bus, thank you for playing; Wood Green, Green Lanes for kebabs, Finsbury Park, Holloway Road, Camden, Goodge Street, Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square.
9.25am GMT
19th over: South Africa 85-1 (De Kock 42, Bavuma 28) It’s nice to see Rashid back too, playing his hundredth ODI, and England could use his wicket-taking capacity. De Kock takes his first delivery for a single, then Bavuma cuts; Root flings out a hand and though it’s ultimately a drop, he in fact does really well to slow the ball down enough so that Moeen can do really well to slide on the fence, saving one as they run three. Meanwhile, in Pochefstroom, India are 57-1 off 17, playing Bangladesh in the men’s world under-19 final.
9.21am GMT
18th over: South Africa 80-1 (De Kock 40, Bavuma 25) Moeen repaces Root – it’s really great to see him back. A quiet over cedes four singles.
“I feel moved to point out, as a fact rather than an opinion,” opines Geoff Wignall, “that the best opening to an English-language film is that of Once Upon A Time In The West .”
9.14am GMT
17th over: South Africa 76-1 (De Kock 38, Bavuma 23) You know when it’s well cold, a penny floater hits you on the thigh, and you experience the most severe pain known to mankind? Well Bavuma knocks one to mid on and Curran throws at the stumps, whacking him a right sair yin just below the hip. He’s lucky cricket’s played with a corky. Ceej then offers a wide and four dots before De Kock punishes the error, flicking – yes, flicking – the extra delivery over midwicket and into the crowd. That’s drinks, and he looks set.
9.08am GMT
16th over: South Africa 68-1 (De Kock 32, Bavuma 22) I thought Root’s last over would be the end of his spell but Morgan tries to finagle one more and it doesn’t work out. After a single to each batsman, De Kock waits for him and plays a cut so late it’s almost extinct – a dodo cut – for four, before another single apiece. England need a wicket.
9.06am GMT
15th over: South Africa 60-1 (De Kock 26, Bavuma 20) Just a single, to De Kock, from a useful Jordan over.
“Best first half-hour in a film,” says Henri du Périer. “The Pixar film Up wins that contest hands down, surely.” I’ve not seen it, but it occurs to me that I didn’t make my cases either, so: White Men Can’t Jump is all about the dialogue and pace; the Godfather is all about the magnitude, in that you know you’re watching something epic and important; and Pulp Fiction is dialogue, pace and originality.
9.03am GMT
14th over: South Africa 59-1 (De Kock 25, Bavuma 20) After three singles, Bavuma steps down and into Root, gliding four through cover. That’s a lovely shot, fully deserving the rich reward of early-morning Avicii.
8.59am GMT
13th over: South Africa 51-1 (De Kock 23, Bavuma 14) Bavuma looks comfortable out there, knocking the ball about – I was surprised he didn’t start the Test series, given how few South African batsman had proved themselves capable at that level. He takes two singles from this latest Jordan over, De Kock adding one. Suddenly, South Africa are consolidating a promising position.
8.55am GMT
12th over: South Africa 48-1 (De Kock 22, Bavuma 12) Root comes on for a twirl against his rabbit and De Kock nicks him ... but there’s nee slip! Then, the ball after next, he cuts four more through point, and that’s South Africa’s first big over, nine from it.
“Speaking of burnout,” says Guy Hornsby, “permission to heartily salute Barney Ronay for his excellent article yesterday on Jofra Archer. Aside from the selfish management of his injury, which if it’s been around since the World Cup, is unforgivable, the language used when referring to his work ethic, or character, or application, suggests something far less palatable. Conscious or not, he’s been treated very poorly indeed, while being undermined all along. As it’s been said, if you don’t think he’s trying, you don’t know anything about bowling. I hope they see the error of their ways.”
Related: England have broken Jofra Archer – and no one can say it wasn’t coming | Barney Ronay
8.51am GMT
11th over: South Africa 39-1 (De Kock 14, Bavuma 11) Jordan replaces Curran – who bowled a nifty spell, beating De Kock’s bat as many times as anyone can have done in a similar number of balls bowled. A wide and two singles from the over, the second sprinted as Roy shied at the striker’s; had he hit, De Kock was in trouble.
8.47am GMT
10th over: South Africa 37-1 (De Kock 13, Bavuma 10) Bumble notes that in Durban, they knew it was going to rain after they started, so why did they not try for a T20 in the time? A good point. Back in the middle, Bavuma drives four down the ground to close the powerplay, which has gone well for England.
“Talking of not picking the strongest team,” says Smylers, “England have, sadly, often done that against Ireland. That may have seemed the case in those countries’ 2009 ODI , when they tried out a couple of uncapped players. But both Adil Rashid and Joe Denly played in the following ODIs against Australia. And here they are 10½ years later, still again in the team together.”
8.43am GMT
9th over: South Africa 31-1 (De Kock 12, Bavuma 6) How on earth do England go about picking a side for the T20 World Cup? It ain’t easy being this good. Talking of which, is there a better first half-hour or so of any film? Pulp Fiction and the Godfather, maybe – feel free to send in other selection. In the meantime, after a single to De Kock, Bavuma flicks four to midwicket, following up with a single.
8.38am GMT
8th over: South Africa 23-1 (De Kock 11, Bavuma 0) Mahmood’s final ball swings well away from Bavuma, who lets it by.
“I suspect you’re right about QdK being ‘one of those boys’,” says David Horn. “I went to school with Rob Henderson (played for the Lionsand Ireland, in rugby). We once opened the batting for our school’s ‘old boys’. I watched from the non-strikers as he belted 20 odd from the first over, before succumbing to a second-ball duck myself. However, he never once beat me at table tennis. Not sure we ever played, but I was briefly school champion. So.”
8.36am GMT
This has been a dayboo spell from Mahmood, and what a meteorite this is, beating Hendricks with a bit of in-duck off the seam and caressing the top of his off-bail, leaving the other intact!
8.34am GMT
8th over: South Africa 23-0 (De Kock 11, Hendricks 11) Mahmood donates width, overpitching too, and Hendricks doesn’t need to be asked twice, clouting four through the covers.
Incidentally, contrary to information previously supplied, Rob will be with you later. Please send aggravation to daniel.harris.casual@theguardian.com or @DanielHarris.
8.30am GMT
7th over: South Africa 18-0 (De Kock 11, Hendricks 7) Curran pins De Kock on the crease with length, then slings down a yorker which swings late and diddles him all ends up. Then it’s back to seam, another delivery leaving him as he plays and misses again! But after five dots, the final delivery is too straight and is flicked off the pads for a sprinted two.
8.25am GMT
6th over: South Africa 16-0 (De Kock 9, Hendricks 7) This is impressive stuff from Mahmood, who’s not threatening especially but who’s line and length are making scoring hard. My guess is that the batsmen are waiting for the spinners, but in the meantime this is a useful maiden.
8.22am GMT
5th over: South Africa 16-0 (De Kock 9, Hendricks 7) De Kock is warm, moving into another full one for Curran – it’s ever so slightly overpitched – and straight-pushing – straight straight-pushing – three down the ground. He strikes me as one of those kids who was mortifyingly good at everything – though pretty sure I’d have had his measure at leyning.
8.17am GMT
4th over: South Africa 10-0 (De Kock 4, Hendricks 5) Mahmood finds some away movement, but Hendricks plays with soft hands and gets a single to third man. Another follows to De Kock, but that’s it for another quiet over.
Adil Rashid is playing his 100th ODI today #SAvENG pic.twitter.com/ckoBjB9hWw
8.13am GMT
3rd over: South Africa 8-0 (De Kock 4, Hendricks 4) Cuzz T is bowling beautifully here, his first ball slanted across De Kock then beating him with bounce and a soupcon of movement. Lovely stuff. De Kock then puts bat on one! What a player! But he gets no run, only for Curran to drop a little shorter; that one, he eases away for four through backward point. He’s quite good.
8.08am GMT
2nd over: South Africa 4-0 (De Kock 0, Hendricks 4) Here comes Mahmood for his first over in ODI cricket, and he’s into his stride quickly, sending down three dots. But then he strays wide, and Hendricks is onto him immediately, timing a square drive to the fence. That came on very nicely, but this is still a decent start for him and England.
8.04am GMT
1st over: South Africa 0-0 (De Kock 0, Hendricks 0) Curran starts well, his second ball beating De Kock with some away movement, then his third doing likewise off the seam. That’s a lovely length, and in commentary Mark Nicholas notes that Woakes would fancy these conditions. Oh yes! Curran beats the outside edge for the third time in a row, and completes a maiden.
8.01am GMT
Right, here we go!
7.57am GMT
Alastair Cook is, unsurprisingly, really good in the studio. He says that under Eoin Morgan, the principle has been established that if you want to play limited-overs cricket for England, you have to be good enough to win a game on your own.
7.53am GMT
No rain.
7.46am GMT
On Sky, David Lloyd rhapsodises Saqib, who he says is an “international cricketer”. He was only ok in New Zealand, but James Anderson also speaks highly of him. Quite how he breaks into the Test side from here, who knows, given England’s sudden strength in depth, but the best players have a way of forcing the issue.
7.44am GMT
The pitch looks a belter, and I kind of wonder why England have played two spinners. Well, I know why they’ve played two spinners because Morgan told us: with the T20 World Cup coming up, the T20 series is the priority, but there’s doesn’t look to be much in the pitch for them, and the short boundary square of the wicket will be testing.
7.42am GMT
South Africa: De Kock, Hendricks, Bavuma, Van der Dussen, Smuts, Miller, Phehlukwayo, Hendricks, Ngidi, Sipamla, Shamsi.
England: Roy, Bairstow, Root, Morgan, Denly, Banton, Ali, Curran, Rashid, Jordan, Mahmood.
7.37am GMT
Quinton de Kock would also have fielded, on the basis of overhead conditions, but doesn’t think the pitch will change too much. Lungi Ngidi comes in for Bjorn Fortuin.
7.36am GMT
He says it’s a decision dictated by conditions. It’s cloudy now and there’s one very short boundary, plus it’s hard to break partnerships when they get set. He also think its a privilege to participate in pink day – South Africa are in all pink, England in oink shoulders, in aid of breast cancer – and that Saqib, Moeen and Rashid come in, the former making his dayboo and the latter to get some cricket before the T20 series. Dropping out are Sam Curran, Parkinson and Woakes.
7.33am GMT
It’s not raining, but it is cloudy.
7.22am GMT
Which brings us onto an imminent problem: is T20 in the process of becoming close to a separate sport?
7.21am GMT
Which brings us back to the original point, really: it’s great to see young players – I mean who doesn’t want more Tom Banton – but the reason we’re seeing England play who they’re playing is because they’re not that bothered whether they win or lose. That doesn’t feel right.
7.12am GMT
State of play: South Africa lead the three-match series 1-0, with this match to play. The chances of rain - and storms – are less than they were last night, but still well in the game.
10.22pm GMT
Like all normal people, I have a preternatural obsession with elite sport that means I can watch as much of it as there is and more – never mind more elite cricket. But this here series raises a very obvious and significant question: what is the point of it?
Obviously it passes the time, and there’s a lot to be said for that. But when one team has deliberately not picked its strongest squad nor its strongest teams, it makes you wonder. England want to win, but they don’t want to win that much. Which is why Ben Stokes and Jos Buttler are absent, having played too much, and why Jofra Archer is absent, having played way too much.
Continue reading...February 4, 2020
South Africa beat England by seven wickets in first ODI – as it happened
An under-strength England team was soundly beaten in Cape Town in the first of three ODIs against South Africa
6.49pm GMT
Right, that’s all from me. The second ODI will be played in Durban on Friday, with the third and final match scheduled for Johannesburg on Sunday, and you’ll obviously be able to follow both of those here. For now, though, bye!
6.44pm GMT
Barney Ronay is in South Africa, and here’s his match report:
So much for new dawns, new cycles, reboots of the reboot. In Cape Town England’s World Cup winning 50-over team stuttered back into action with a performance that choked on its own ambition early on before falling back on an old school rescue job from Joe Denly. By the end they were beaten easily under the evening lights as Quinton de Kock and Temba Bavuma flogged some poor bowling around Newlands.
There may be champion teams in the past roster of World Cup winners who could afford to lose players of the quality of Jofra Archer, Mark Wood, Jos Buttler, Adil Rashid and Ben Stokes, all injured or rested here. But on this evidence England are some way short of joining them. Instead a mixture of fill-ins and next-cabs-off-the-rank looked at times like a trip back to the bad old days.
Related: De Kock leads South Africa’s eight-wicket demolition of England in first ODI
6.43pm GMT
Quinton de Kock is the man of the match:
It was a good night. I’m just glad to get a win, it feels good to get back to winning ways. This week we had one or two chats about where we wanted to take this ODI team going forward, and I think today was a good start. I’m just really proud of the boys. It’s one thing speaking about it and [another] bringing it out to the field and today we did it, and I’m really pleased about it. It’s only one game. We’ll see how it goes in the near future. Hopefully it keeps on being good for me.
I did. I enjoyed it. It kept me in the game, especially when things were really tough. With that extra bit of responsibility, it just helped me. When he [Bavuma] walked in, we understood it’s pretty difficult to get boundaries, it’s just trying to find a way to get momentum. We understood that just running hard between the wickets was the way to go about it, and that was the way we went about it.
6.39pm GMT
Eoin Morgan has a chat:
You’re way off the mark. We were hurt. South Africa completely outplayed us today in all departments. We’ve got no excuses, we didn’t adapt to the conditions that were set in front of us. We knew it wasn’t going to be a complete runfest but every batsman apart from I suppose Joe Denly and Chris Woakes really struggled to get going, which probably emphasises that we are a little bit rusty, but South Africa bowled well, used conditions really well with slower balls, and the partnership between De Kock and Bavuma we couldn’t penetrate. It made it very difficult for us. Full credit to them, they’ve started the series really well.
I think we lacked the adaptation to the skill level that was needed. I think the guys have gone hard as we always try to do but when that doesn’t come off we try to rein it in a little bit. I think we lost wickets in clusters, up until Woakes and Denly partnership, and that total only got us in the game if we bowled well and managed to take early wickets. Having let the guys get themselves in we struggled to drag things back.
6.31pm GMT
Van der Dussen ends the innings unbeaten once again, which means that his average, across 15 ODI innings, is now 78. It’s the highest average of all players to have played at least as many ODI innings, ever, ahead of Ryan ten Doeschate’s 67 and Virat Kohli’s comparatively dreadful 59.85.
6.27pm GMT
48th over: South Africa 254-3 (Van der Dussen 37, Smuts 7) A single for Van der Dussen and a sweep for four from Smuts, and it’s all over! Everybody seemed pretty pleased with England’s total at the break, but South Africa turned their run chase into a procession, with only Reeza Hendricks disappointing with that bat.
6.23pm GMT
47th over: South Africa 254-3 (Van der Dussen 37, Smuts 3) A good over for South Africa, and this should finally settle any remaining nerves. Nine off it, the highlight being Van der Dussen driving sweetly for four. They need just five more to wrap this up.
6.18pm GMT
46th over: South Africa 245-3 (Van der Dussen 29, Smuts 2) Smuts is looking a bit nervous here. The ball squirts off his bat to backward point and Van der Dussen gets halfway down the wicket before he’s sent back, then the next is worked to square leg and it happens again. Finally he does get a single, and Van der Dussen nudges the last ball of Parkinson’s over to fine leg; Jordan sprints from fine leg to stop it just before the rope. South Africa require 14 runs off 24 balls.
6.15pm GMT
45th over: South Africa 240-3 (Van der Dussen 25, Smuts 1) Another Jordan over, another three singles, as South Africa tiptoe towards their target.
6.11pm GMT
44th over: South Africa 237-3 (Van der Dussen 23, Smuts 0) Parkinson’s seventh over brings three runs. South Africa have 36 balls to get the 22 runs they require.
6.08pm GMT
43rd over: South Africa 234-3 (Van der Dussen 19, Smuts 0) A Van der Dussen single brings Bavuma on strike, two off a century. A buzz of anticipation ripples round the ground but it’s not to be, and two balls later he’s back in the hutch. Out comes Jon-Jon Smuts, making his ODI debut. Six more quick wickets and England might have half a chance.
OH NO!
Bavuma (98) falls two short of a richly-deserved second ODI century as Jordan traps him lbw with one that keeps low.
Watch #SAvENG live: https://t.co/h2NolCUmLs
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6.05pm GMT
A full house of reds, and Bavuma’s gone! An excellent innings, but though he gets a standing ovation on his way off he’s denied the celebratory bat-waving his performance deserved.
6.03pm GMT
It looks like Bavuma has gone, just two away from his century, but there’s a chance this was missing leg stump. He’s sent it upstairs to check!
6.01pm GMT
42nd over: South Africa 233-2 (Bavuma 98, Van der Dussen 19) Root’s seventh over. Bavuma continues along the path to centurytown, while Van der Dussen drives through the covers, just past the fingertips of a diving Morgan and away for four.
5.58pm GMT
41st over: South Africa 225-2 (Bavuma 95, Van der Dussen 14) Van der Dussen advances to hack Denly’s penultimate delivery over mid-on for four. They only need to dot the T’s and cross the I’s now, with 34 runs needed at 3.77.
5.55pm GMT
40th over: South Africa 218-2 (Bavuma 92, Van der Dussen 10) For the first time, South Africa’s required run rate dips below four midway through Root’s over. Three dots and it’s back up again, to 4.10.
5.53pm GMT
39th over: South Africa 214-2 (Bavuma 91, Van der Dussen 7) Temba Bavuma, who nearly three-and-a-half years (if only a couple of matches) after his ODI debut has an average of 126, moves into the 90s.
5.49pm GMT
38th over: South Africa 208-2 (Bavuma 86, Van der Dussen 6) Just two runs off Root’s over, making it the joint-cheapest since the very first of the innings.
5.45pm GMT
37th over: South Africa 206-2 (Bavuma 85, Van der Dussen 5) Denly’s back. Nothing much happens. Whatever devilment was in the wicket earlier seems to have fled a long time ago.
5.43pm GMT
36th over: South Africa 202-2 (Bavuma 83, Van der Dussen 3) Van der Dussen comes in, pummels his first delivery past extra cover for a couple, and then misjudges his second, chipping it back towards but just short of the bowler!
5.38pm GMT
De Kock goes! He tries to hoist the ball over midwicket, misses it completely and the ball straightens to take out middle stump!
5.37pm GMT
35th over: South Africa 198-1 (De Kock 107, Bavuma 82) Woakes bowls. He concedes four singles.
5.27pm GMT
34th over: South Africa 194-1 (De Kock 105, Bavuma 80) De Kock completes his century in style with a four, which runs away through the covers with a fielder gamely running in his wake. And then again! The ball goes in a near-identical direction, and Curran (SM) gives vain chase once again. The players will take drinks, with the match surely all but settled.
5.23pm GMT
33rd over: South Africa 185-1 (De Kock 97, Bavuma 79) Woakes’ first delivery is dismissed through midwicket for four by De Kock, taking him to 5,001 career ODI runs, though an attempt to repeat the shot next ball goes straight to a fielder. Parkinson is called upon to make another diving stop on the boundary, and this time he actually stops the ball. The required run rate is down to 4.35 now.
5.19pm GMT
32nd over: South Africa 177-1 (De Kock 90, Bavuma 78) Parkinson’s back, and Bavuma heaves one high over midwicket for a one-bounce four. England were 140-6 at this stage, but South Africa are playing their own game by this point. This is now a 152-run partnership, and there’s more to come yet.
5.15pm GMT
31st over: South Africa 172-1 (De Kock 89, Bavuma 74) Curran (TK) bangs the ball into the pitch a bit, and De Kock takes a wild swing at the first but edges it away for a single. Parkinson helps South Africa along, diving over the ball on the boundary and letting one he should have fielded trickle into the rope.
5.10pm GMT
30th over: South Africa 164-1 (De Kock 82, Bavuma 73) Woakes slows the South Africa sprint: this over was dot-single-dot-single-dot-single, which wasn’t exactly what England needed but did at least make a nice, regular pattern on the scoresheet.
5.07pm GMT
29th over: South Africa 162-1 (De Kock 81, Bavuma 72) South Africa require only double-figure runs to win this now, and at well under five an over. De Kock slaps one square for four, and then smashes one straight back to Curran (TK), who can’t get his hand into position in time to catch it. Still, it’ll have to go down as a drop.
5.02pm GMT
28th over: South Africa 155-1 (De Kock 75, Bavuma 71) Woakes, England’s best/only good bowler so far today, returns, but alas with no instant magic. He bowls one shortish across Bavuma, who pulls it off his waist and high over long leg for six!
4.58pm GMT
27th over: South Africa 147-1 (De Kock 75, Bavuma 65) Curran (TK) puts a lid on the boundary-smashing, with two singles and a two coming from his fifth over. Brief respite for England.
4.54pm GMT
26th over: South Africa 143-1 (De Kock 74, Bavuma 62) Blammo! Now Bavuma’s at it! Denly bowls a long-hop, not his first, and Bavuma smashes it away for six. So far Woakes’s economy rate is 2.60, less than half of England’s next least expensive bowler.
4.50pm GMT
25th over: South Africa 133-1 (De Kock 73, Bavuma 53) Curran (TK) replaces Curran (SM), and De Kock produces the first maximum of the innings, hoisting the ball high into the air and straight down the ground. Then he tries to spank one over cow corner and misses it completely, his first totally mistimed swing. Looks like he’s bored of ones and twos, which is both dispiriting and encouraging for England I suppose.
4.45pm GMT
24th over: South Africa 125-1 (De Kock 66, Bavuma 52) Four singles from Denly’s over, but they’re notable ones. This partnership has now taken 103 balls to add 100 runs, with Bavuma outscoring his captain 52-47. England’s best partnership was the 91 added by Denly and Woakes.
4.42pm GMT
23rd over: South Africa 121-1 (De Kock 64, Bavuma 50) Bavuma reaches 50 with a single from his 53rd delivery, and De Kock smashes the next away for four. England require a complete momentum change at this point, but don’t appear to have anyone likely to engender one.
Matt Parkinson's first over in ODI cricket was bowled at an average of 74.12kph. In the last year, there have only been seven slower overs bowled in this format. #SAvENG
4.38pm GMT
22nd over: South Africa 114-1 (De Kock 59, Bavuma 48) South Africa are literally strolling at present. Denly has a bowl, and they walk a couple of singles before De Kock hoiks a fairly rubbish delivery over square leg for four. England were 108-5 at this point.
4.32pm GMT
21st over: South Africa 104-1 (De Kock 51, Bavuma 46) Curran (SM) is back, but he can’t instantly change the flow of this river.
4.30pm GMT
20th over: South Africa 100-1 (De Kock 50, Bavuma 43) That’s half of a century for Quinton de Kock! He reaches it with a couple of singles, the first of which never went anywhere near his bat as it spun down the leg side, but the umpire was convinced.
4.26pm GMT
19th over: South Africa 96-1 (De Kock 48, Bavuma 41) Bavuma absolutely flays one past backward point for four. That’s a brutal, beautiful shot. Bavuma’s on 41 from 42 deliveries, and is looking right at home.
4.18pm GMT
18th over: South Africa 88-1 (De Kock 46, Bavuma 35) After a good over from Parkinson the players take drinks. England need a wicket or three at some point soonish.
4.16pm GMT
17th over: South Africa 86-1 (De Kock 45, Bavuma 34) Chris Jordan comes in. Bavuma’s sweet cover drive for four off the last takes South Africa to 86, now ahead of England’s run rate and with wickets in hand (England were 84-4 at this point).
4.12pm GMT
16th over: South Africa 76-1 (De Kock 43, Bavuma 26) A shot for the highlight reel from De Kock, a kind of falling reverse slap to deep point, where Denly cuts it off. This partnership has brought 51 runs, precisely as many as England’s opening pair managed.
4.08pm GMT
15th over: South Africa 69-1 (De Kock 40, Bavuma 22) De Kock and Bavuma both have a go at smashing the ball through the covers, but both shots are fielded and they bring only three runs between them. This is all a little bit too untroubled for England’s liking.
4.04pm GMT
14th over: South Africa 64-1 (De Kock 37, Bavuma 20) Matt Parkinson, making his ODI debut, has a first bowl. Good flight, good revs, but it’s all a bit slow, and the batsmen score eight pretty untroubled runs, concluding with a reverse sweep from De Kock that was fine in every sense of the word.
3.59pm GMT
13th over: South Africa 56-1 (De Kock 32, Bavuma 17) A wide from Curran (TK) brings the first extra of the innings. Bavuma smashes the next delivery with maximum force, but straight to the fielder at point.
3.55pm GMT
12th over: South Africa 52-1 (De Kock 30, Bavuma 16) Bavuma scoops one over his left shoulder for four. South Africa remain a little behind England’s run rate - the tourists were 61-2 at this point - but close enough to feel pretty comfortable, and with a bonus wicket in hand.
3.52pm GMT
11th over: South Africa 46-1 (De Kock 29, Bavuma 11) A new Curran has a bowl, Tom this time, and De Kock hits another splendid straight drive for four.
3.48pm GMT
10th over: South Africa 41-1 (De Kock 25, Bavuma 10) South Africa keep the scoreline ticking over with a full house of singles from Root’s second over.
3.44pm GMT
9th over: South Africa 35-1 (De Kock 22, Bavuma 7) Woakes keeps going. I don’t know what kind of filters Sky have on their cameras, but the sky above Cape Town today looks to be of the bluest, book-me-a-plane-ticket-right-now blue. I am finding the jealousy quite distracting.
3.39pm GMT
8th over: South Africa 30-1 (De Kock 20, Bavuma 4) Root comes on first change for England, and Bavuma gets off the mark with a reverse sweep down to third man for four. “They discussed a building-site?” muses Ian Copestake. “Surely it was of interest as a deeper reflection of their own shared desire to be useful and their regret at no longer being able to contribute something tangible and lasting within the environment. As retired cricketers commenting on the actions and achievements of others surely does not come without its own frisson of melancholy. So not just a building-site.”
3.37pm GMT
7th over: South Africa 25-1 (De Kock 19, Bavuma 0) Hendricks made six from the first six balls he faced, and then none from the next eight. Finally he’s undone by a cross-seamer from Woakes.
3.35pm GMT
Hendricks feathers a nick through to the keeper, who’s left with an easy catch!
3.30pm GMT
6th over: South Africa 24-0 (De Kock 18, Hendricks 6) De Kock edges Curran’s first ball but high and wide of Bairstow, and away for four.
3.27pm GMT
5th over: South Africa 19-0 (De Kock 13, Hendricks 6) Woakes lands one on, well, de kock of De Kock, whose box does the business. He gets a single off the last, again. On Sky, Mark Nicholas and Rob Key discuss at some length a nearby building site “I doubt it’s that interesting for our viewers, though, so let’s move on,” Nicholas concludes, not unreasonably.
3.22pm GMT
4th over: South Africa 16-0 (De Kock 11, Hendricks 5) De Kock mistimes a drive and the ball loops back towards the stumps at the other end. Curran dives to his left, but doesn’t get anywhere near the catch. Hendricks drives the next ball, and there’s no issue with his timing, the ball scuttling through the covers for four.
3.19pm GMT
3rd over: South Africa 10-0 (De Kock 10, Hendricks 1) For the second over in a row, De Kock gets a single off the last ball. Hendricks has only faced three so far.
3.15pm GMT
2nd over: South Africa 8-0 (De Kock 7, Hendricks 1) Curran’s first delivery is pushed back down the ground by De Kock, a four from the moment it met his bat. Some singles follow.
3.11pm GMT
1st over: South Africa 1-0 (De Kock 1, Hendricks 0) Cards on the table, I’ve just got to OBO HQ from interviewing a footballer and watched nothing of the England innings. I bring nothing but enthusiasm and a vague ability to type. Hopefully that’ll be enough to pull us through. Anyway, action: the last ball of Woakes’ opener thuds against Hendricks’ pad and brings a loud appeal; the umpire raises his finger but the batsman reviews, and the ball turned out to be heading down the leg side! Actually by quite a long way!
3.05pm GMT
Hello everyone! Right then, no messing about: the players are out, the sun is too, and there’s cricket to be played!
2.58pm GMT
That’s it from me. Simon Burnton is here to talk you through the runchase - you can contact him by email here or tweet @Simon__Burnton. Bye!
2.39pm GMT
It’s hard to know whether that’s a good score. The surface is sluggish and my instinct is that England are slight favourites, but the pitch could speed up when the lights come on this evening. What we can say is that Joe Denly (87 from 103 balls) and Tabraiz Shamsi (10-0-38-3) were several shades of excellent, and that England would like to dismiss Quinton de Kock as early as possible.
2.36pm GMT
50th over: England 258-8 (T Curran 53, Jordan 1) Curran ignores a short slower ball from Beuran Hendricks, assuming it will be called wide. Wrong! But England do get an overthrow from the last delivery after a stupid throw from Temba Bavuma. South Africa need 259 to win!
2.34pm GMT
Joe Denly’s outstanding innings comes to an end. He lifted a slower ball miles in the air towards long on, where Reeza Hendricks backpedalled to take a well judged catch. Denly made 87 from 103 balls, including 51 from his last 39 deliveries.
2.31pm GMT
49th over: England 253-7 (Denly 87, T Curran 11) An excellent over from Ngidi is tarnished when Denly smears the last delivery over mid-off for his second six. That takes England past 250.
2.27pm GMT
48th over: England 243-7 (Denly 79, T Curran 9) Hendricks misses a run-out chance off his own bowling, missing the stumps with Tom Curran halfway down the pitch. And then Denly is dropped by Smuts, a simple chance when Denly clothed a full toss straight to him. A terrific over from Hendricks nonetheless, only four from it.
2.23pm GMT
47th over: England 239-7 (Denly 77, T Curran 7) Yeeha! Denly charges Ngidi and launches a big six over wide long on. Of all the gin joints in all the world, surely he’s not going to finally make his first century for England here? I doubt there’s enough time. But he has played a gem of an innings, vaguely reminiscent of Michael Bevan at his best.
2.18pm GMT
46th over: England 231-7 (Denly 70, T Curran 6) This is turning into a handy score for England, who were 131 for six after 28 overs. If they get de Kock early, I think they’ll win. Meanwhile, the legspinner Shamsi ends with splendid figures of 10-0-38-3.
2.15pm GMT
45th over: England 226-7 (Denly 68, T Curran 3) Tom Curran, who played some cracking cameos in the Big Bash League, gets off the mark by rifling Sipamla down the ground for two. A single to Denly off the last delivery takes him to his highest ODI score.
2.12pm GMT
The debutant Litho Sipamla gets his first ODI wicket when Woakes holes out to mid-off. His mother leads the celebrations, springing to her feet to hug those next to her in the crowd. Woakes, at his no-frills best, made a very useful 40 from 42 balls.
2.09pm GMT
44th over: England 221-6 (Denly 67, Woakes 40) Shamsi returns to bowl his last two overs. After three singles from the first five balls, Denly launches a superb drive to cow corner for four. That means he has equalled his career-best ODI score, which from memory was against Ireland at Belfast on his debut in August 2009.
2.05pm GMT
43rd over: England 214-6 (Denly 62, Woakes 38) Denly, hit painfully in the ribs earlier in the over, makes room to slap a short slower ball from Sipamla over mid-off for four. After an understandably slow start, he has hit 24 from the last 19 balls.
1.59pm GMT
42nd over: England 205-6 (Denly 55, Woakes 37) JJ Smuts’ last over goes for eight, all in ones and twos. This has been such a well-judged partnership. Smuts, the debutant, finishes with decent figures of 10-0-43-1.
1.55pm GMT
41st over: England 197-6 (Denly 53, Woakes 31) Denly brings up a patient half-century, his first in ODIs since 20 September 2009. England are scoring off almost every delivery now; the last six overs have gone for 43.
1.50pm GMT
40th over: England 191-6 (Denly 48, Woakes 30) Woakes survives a potential run-out chance when Bavuma fumbles in the covers. Five singles from Smuts’ penultimate over.
1.48pm GMT
39th over: England 186-6 (Denly 45, Woakes 28) Phehlukwayo is back. Denly picks one of his many slower balls and launches it over mid-off for four, a superb stroke that brings up an intelligent, humble fifty partnership. The next ball is treated similarly, this time a little straighter, and all of a sudden England have scored 32 from the last four overs.
1.43pm GMT
38th over: England 176-6 (Denly 36, Woakes 27) Denly has stealthily become England’s top scorer. It’s been a sensible innings, tailor-made for the pitch and match situation, and he has ushered England towards a competitive total on a very slow pitch.
1.40pm GMT
37th over: England 173-6 (Denly 34, Woakes 25) Woakes blasts Hendricks just over extra-cover for four, the start of an excellent over for England. Eleven from it, most of them to Woakes, who has sped to 25 from 25 balls.
Here’s Matt Dony. “Following on from Ian Copestake, maybe if John Starbuck has been on the side of a bus, sans kit, it would all have been so different...”
1.35pm GMT
36th over: England 162-6 (Denly 34, Woakes 16) Woakes gets his first boundary, making room to slash Smuts wide of backward point for four. It was in the air, and not quite where he intended, but he got four for it.
1.32pm GMT
35th over: England 154-6 (Denly 33, Woakes 9) Beuran Hendricks, on for Sipamla, beats Denly with a good delivery from around the wicket. Three singles from the over. This is such a struggle, and the England batsmen aren’t exactly motoring either, honk.
1.28pm GMT
34th over: England 151-6 (Denly 32, Woakes 7)
1.23pm GMT
33rd over: England 149-6 (Denly 31, Woakes 6) Denly plays a lovely cover drive for four off Sipamla. Every little helps, and Woakes contributes a couple more with a drag over mid-on. That’s drinks.
1.19pm GMT
32nd over: England 140-6 (Denly 26, Woakes 3) The left-arm spinner JJ Smuts returns to the attack and hurries through another parsimonious over. England are crawling towards a vaguely competitive total.
“I see Brian Withington has succumbed to blame culture by laying the cause of this national debacle at my door,” says Ian Copestake. “Well I’m here to tell him he is spot on. You can’t envision Starbuck naked without repercussions. See also Brexit.”
1.17pm GMT
31st over: England 138-6 (Denly 25, Woakes 2) Sipamla tries to york Denly, who digs it out calmly. One from the over, which means England have scored 32 from the last 10. I’ll level with you: it’s not riveting.
1.12pm GMT
30th over: England 137-6 (Denly 24, Woakes 2) Two runs from Shamsi’s eighth over. This is his first game as South Africa’s premier spinner, following the retirement of Imran Tahir, and it couldn’t have gone much better. He has figures of 8-0-26-3.
1.08pm GMT
29th over: England 135-6 (Denly 23, Woakes 1) This innings turned on the run-out of Joe Root, who looked in lovely touch and had breezed to 17 from 21 balls without recourse to boundaries.
1.04pm GMT
28th over: England 131-6 (Denly 20, Woakes 0) The new batsman is Chris Woakes, who is playing his 100th ODI. Denly and Woakes... if any pair can sex down England’s batting approach, it’s these two.
1.03pm GMT
Sam Curran is bowled round his legs! He missed a sweep at a ball that turned just enough to clip the outside of the leg stump. Shamsi has his third wicket!
1.00pm GMT
27th over: England 127-5 (Denly 19, S Curran 5) It’s all very low key at the moment: a single here, a dot ball there. Lutho Sipamla, 21, comes on to bowl for the first time in an ODI. After an accurate start, he drops short and allows Denly to nail a swivel-pull through midwicket for four. Shot!
“Banton Banter,” warns Adam Hirst. “If Banton had been given not out on review, would the umpire have said ‘Baby, come back’?”
12.55pm GMT
26th over: England 121-5 (Denly 14, S Curran 4) England have hit only four boundaries in the last 17 overs, three of them from Banton. It’s not an easy pitch, this, and the odds of 2/1 on an England win look pretty generous.
12.51pm GMT
25th over: England 118-5 (Denly 12, S Curran 3) England bat pretty deep - Parkinson at No11 is the only donkey - so they could still reach the magical target of 240ish. Their celebrated lower order failed under pressure in the World Cup, but this is a more relaxed situation. And most of the players are different.
12.48pm GMT
24th over: England 115-5 (Denly 10, S Curran 2) The left-arm wristspinner Tabraiz Shamsi has had a fine day so far. His figures are 5-0-18-2. England are going nowhere at the moment but that’s understandable in the circumstances. They need a partnership.
“Hi Rob,” says Damian Burns. “If my £2 a month contribution to the Guardian isn’t being used to fly you to Cape Town to cover the cricket, I really don’t know why I bother donating at all…”
12.44pm GMT
23rd over: England 111-5 (Denly 8, S Curran 1) Lundi Ngidi returns to the attack. His first spell was that of a fast bowler returning after a hamstring tear. He should be able to relax a little more this time, especially as he won’t be bowling to Roy and Bairstow, and starts with an uneventful over. Three singles from it.
“Am I alone in still reeling from the disturbing Starbuck imagery induced by the mischievous Copestake (over 14)?” says Brian Withington. “Could even have provoked the loss of quick wickets (and now Sky’s coverage) by a mysterious process of tangled quantum disturbance. In passing, young Banton looks outrageously talented (and rubber wristed).”
12.39pm GMT
22nd over: England 108-5 (Denly 6, S Curran 0) England will never win anything unless they learn how to bat on slow pitches.
12.37pm GMT
Banton misses a firm sweep and is given out LBW. Shamsi didn’t even bother appealing; he just ran down the wicket in celebration. Banton reviewed, presumably hoping he was outside the line. He wasn’t: it was Umpire’s Call, so England do at least keep their review. But they’ve lose their Banton.
12.34pm GMT
21st over: England 106-4 (Denly 5, Banton 17) The TV picture returns just in time for us to see Banton drive Phehlukwayo sweetly down the ground for four. It’s been an eye-catching cameo, 17 from 20 balls.
12.29pm GMT
19.3 overs: England 99-4 (Denly 3, Banton 12) A confident reverse sweep for four off Shamsi takes Banton into double figures.
The TV picture has gone now, so I haven’t a clue what’s happening. You’re welcome!
12.25pm GMT
19th over: England 94-4 (Denly 3, Banton 7) Banton gets his first boundary, cuffing a short ball from Phehlukwayo over midwicket. Phehlukwayo responds by going past the outside edge with three consecutive deliveries, a high-class bit of bowling.
12.21pm GMT
18th over: England 89-4 (Denly 3, Banton 2) Banton gets off the mark from his eighth delivery, working Shamsi for a single. England will be revising their target with each passing over. At the moment I suspect they’d be happy with 250.
12.17pm GMT
17th over: England 84-4 (Denly 1, Banton 0) England’s mini-collapse - four wickets for 30 - at least means Banton has time to play himself in on his debut. We’re barely a third of the way through England’s innings.
12.15pm GMT
This week’s Spin has landed, and it looks like a cracking read.
Related: The Spin | St Moritz proves there’s no business like snow business with Cricket on Ice
12.14pm GMT
16th over: England 83-4 (Denly 0, Banton 0) Joe Denly and the debutant Tom Banton are the new batsmen.
12.13pm GMT
Two wickets in two balls! Morgan edges the wristspinner Shamsi towards slip, where Bavuma dives to his left to take a majestic reaction catch.
12.09pm GMT
Joe Root has been run out! He was rightly sent back by Morgan and was comfortably short when van der Dussen at square leg hit the stumps at the non-striker’s end with a brilliant throw.
12.05pm GMT
15th over: England 82-2 (Root 16, Morgan 11) A lovely stroke from Root, who walks across his stumps to clip Phehlukwayo through midwicket for three. His low dot-ball ratio makes him the perfect man for a pitch like this, which is why that World Cup final innings was so odd.
12.01pm GMT
14th over: England 74-2 (Root 11, Morgan 9) Morgan reverse sweeps Smuts for four. He top-edged the stroke but got enough on it to clear short third man. Morgan has a mixed World Cup with the bat, but his general form has been extremely good: in his last 25 ODI innings he averages 67.
“John Starbuck presents a disturbing (or just very honest) view of himself following the OBO with no kit,” says Ian Copestake. “I hope at least the curtains are drawn.”
11.58am GMT
13th over: England 66-2 (Root 9, Morgan 3) A misfield from Sipamla at mid-off turns one run into two. It’s a quiet little spell, with no boundaries (and two wickets) in the last four overs.
“Shame Malan didn’t get a game after his exploits in NZ,” says Steve Marshall. “Some players just don’t seem to have a face that fits.”
11.54am GMT
12th over: England 61-2 (Root 6, Morgan 3) Matt Parkinson will be looking forward to bowling on this pitch. England’s third-wicket pair are taking no liberties against JJ Smuts, though they do manage to milk five singles from his third over.
“‘Those missing from the World Cup final XI are Jofra Archer (elbow) and Liam Plunkett (elbowed, with nary a soupçon of sentiment), Ben Stokes, Jos Buttler and Mark Wood (all rested)’,” says Brian, quoting today’s preamble. “Adil Rashid is soon forgotten eh?”
11.50am GMT
11th over: England 56-2 (Root 3, Morgan 1) It’s hard to know with pitches, but the early signs are that a par score is around 250. England will probably regroup for a few overs now. Root, especially, will be keen to rotate the strike and not get stuck like he did during that hideous innings in the World Cup final.
“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “It’s even more salient to realise that Baby Come Back was a cover of a May 1968 song by the Equals and I remember it being ‘performed’ on Top of the Pops, when it was No1. Also, I last played a proper game of cricket in 1982 and no longer even have my kit. Sometimes, you have to be realistic.”
11.48am GMT
Two wickets in two overs. Bairstow clunks a wide, full delivery from Phehlukwayo straight to mid-off, where the debutant Sipamla takes a tumbling catch. I suppose that was a risky shot on this sluggish pitch, but we can’t celebrate the centuries in must-win World Cup matches and bemoan the occasional misjudged stroke.
11.44am GMT
10th over: England 52-1 (Bairstow 19, Root 1) Joe Root survives a big LBW shout first ball after playing for non-existent spin. I reckon it was missing leg stump. Another effective over from Smuts, who has figures of 2-0-2-1. Not bad for a debutant non-spinning spinner in the Powerplay against the least merciful batting line-up in the world.
“Morning Rob,” says Sam Collier. “Re Thomas Atkins hopes for Tom Banton’s nickname, what are the odds that it’s actually something along the lines of EPIC BANTZ!!?? Obviously, I hope he does well enough to deserve the epithet ‘epic’, but would it really be worth it?”
11.41am GMT
JJ Smuts gets his first ODI wicket. Roy tries to swipe him over long on, doesn’t get enough on it and is comfortably caught by Reeza Hendricks. He played some eye-catching strokes, though, and his run-a-ball 32 has given England a decent start on an awkward pitch.
11.39am GMT
9th over: England 51-0 (Roy 32, Bairstow 19) The ever enthusiastic Andile Phehlukwayo comes into the attack. He’s a senior player in this new South African team, even though he’s only 23 years old. Only David Miller and the captain de Kock have more caps.
Phehlukwayo goes straight into his box of tricks with mixed results. Bairstow is beaten by a brilliant slower ball but also cuts and pulls emphatic boundaries. That brings up the usual fifty partnership with Jason Roy.
11.33am GMT
8th over: England 42-0 (Roy 31, Bairstow 11) The debutant JJ Smuts, a useful left-arm spinner, comes into the attack. England’s openers are content to give him an over while they have a look, and there’s just one run from it.
“Morning, Rob,” says Smylers. “What’s happened to David Willey? He was in England’s initial World Cup squad, missing out only to make space for Jofra Archer. Given that none of Archer, Liam Plunkett or Mark Wood are playing in this series, there clearly now is room for him, yet here he isn’t.”
11.30am GMT
7th over: England 41-0 (Roy 30, Bairstow 11) It’s probably safe to assert that Roy’s Ashes horribilis hasn’t affected his confidence. He is batting with his usual swagger, despite the slow pitch, and gets his fifth boundary with a muscular drive over mid-off off Hendricks.
The next delivery should have been his last, mind you: it stopped in the pitch, popped up off the bat in slow motion and somehow looped over the leaping van der Dussen at short midwicket. To compound South Africa’s frustration, van der Dussen landed awkwardly and has limped off for treatment. Bairstow then breaks his bat while playing a lofted drive off Hendricks. He got two runs for it; on a normal pitch it would have gone for six.
11.26am GMT
6th over: England 34-0 (Roy 25, Bairstow 9) Ngidi is feeling his way back into international cricket, nowhere near his best, and Bairstow flicks him crisply through midwicket for four.
“That depresses me re: Joe Denly being 8 when Baby Come Back came out,” says Dave Voss. “You can probably work out from my e-mail address (spoiler: it includes a year from the 1970s – ed) I was a little older at that time, yet I still identify with Joe Denly in a ‘maybe I can still make the England team despite being slightly more experienced’ kinda way. More of an impediment maybe that I’ve only played cricket twice in the last 20 years but on balance I have had a few emails published on the OBO during that time.”
11.21am GMT
5th over: England 27-0 (Roy 24, Bairstow 3) Bairstow gets to face a full over, having been starved of the strike before that. He hasn’t yet found his timing on this sluggish pitch and mistimes an attempted pull stroke straight into the ground. He has 3 from 10 balls, Roy 24 from 20.
11.17am GMT
4th over: England 25-0 (Roy 24, Bairstow 1) Roy gets his fourth boundary with a bread-and-butter clip behind square off Ngidi. And then he’s dropped by Phehlukwayo at midwicket! It was a tricky two-handed chance as he swooped forward, but at this level it should probably have been taken.
11.14am GMT
3rd over: England 19-0 (Roy 18, Bairstow 1) Jason Roy gets the party started by smacking Hendricks for three consecutive boundaries. The first two were down the ground, one each side of the stumps; the third was walloped through extra cover on the run. Scintillating stuff.
“If Tom Banton hasn’t been given the nickname ‘Pato’,” says Thomas Atkins, “then we should immediately revoke England’s World Champion status.”
11.08am GMT
2nd over: England 6-0 (Roy 5, Bairstow 1) The brilliant Lungi Ngidi, who would have played in the Test series but for a hamstring injury, shares the new ball. His first ball is a loosener that Roy slaps through extra cover for two. The whole over is very tenative, in fact, but he gets away without conceding a boundary. This pitch looks so slow.
11.04am GMT
1st over: England 1-0 (Roy 1, Bairstow 0) The early signs are that this is a slow pitch, just the way England hate it. Hendricks starts with an immaculate line to Roy, who eventually gets off the mark with a single off the fifth delivery. That’s it.
11.00am GMT
That World Cup final though, eh. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
10.59am GMT
Our old friends Jason Roy and Jonny Bairstow swagger out to the middle. The left-arm seamer Beuran Hendricks will open the bowling.
10.59am GMT
“Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “During the last test you named and English XI of Men Who Might Have Been. Lots of sleepless nights since then coming up with an Australian version. Which is: Matthew Elliot, Phil Hughes, Brad Hodge, Kim Hughes, Michael Bevan, David Hookes, Phil Emery, Stuart MacGill, Carl Rackemann, Shaun Tait and Bruce Reid. 12th man Jamie Siddons or Stuart Law.
“I’ve got Kim Hughes there because I truly believe that if he and Mark Waugh swapped teams we’d swap our opinions. The one who makes me most frustrated is Bevan - on two occasions I heard state cricketers talk about him in awestruck tones like lesser composers might talk about Beethoven. Absolute genius they reckoned. If he had got 20 Tests in a row I’m sure he would have sorted out the short ball problem.
Related: Recalling Duncan Spencer, the cricketer who lived fast and bowled even faster
10.52am GMT
Pre-match pluggery
Both people involved in this are great, and Pringle’s book is full of hilarious and eye-watering stories of a very different world, so this comes highly recommended. Can you recommend something that hasn’t happened yet? Whatever, don’t split hairs with me.
Exciting news: I'm hosting a new series of cricket nights in West End of London. 1st up, Mar 25: Derek Pringle, discussing his brilliant book on 80s cricket. Early Bird tickets on sale now. Join us! @derekpringle @hodderbooks @johnnybarran @backandacross https://t.co/CwS76XN80V
10.51am GMT
“It seems a strange call that Banton comes in and isn’t given the gloves over Bairstow,” says Rich. “What’s the rationale, there?”
Bairstow’s a better keeper – I suspect it’s that simple.
10.37am GMT
South Africa de Kock (c/wk), R Hendricks, Bavuma, Smuts, van der Dussen, Miller, Phehlukwayo, B Hendricks, Ngidi, Sipamla, Shamsi.
England Roy, Bairstow (wk), Root, Morgan (c), Denly, Banton, S Curran, Woakes, T Curran, Jordan, Parkinson.
10.32am GMT
They also have two debutants: JJ Smuts and Lutho Sipamla. Eoin Morgan says England would have bowled, but he doesn’t seem too fussed.
10.29am GMT
Tom Banton and Matt Parkison will make their ODI debuts for England. Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with Banton; you soon will be. Darren Lehmann, who coached him in the Big Bash, says he is the best player he has ever thrown to in the nets.
10.15am GMT
Pre-match reading
Related: England’s world-beating cricketers are suffering the curse of nation’s gilded few | Tanya Aldred
Related: Captain Morgan goes into ODI series intent on staying for three more years
9.38am GMT
Morning. Let’s cut straight to the bit where we tell you how much time has passed since the World Cup final. It’s been 205 days since England last played an ODI: that harrowing, euphoric, unfathomable match against New Zealand at Lord’s on 14 July 2019. I don’t really understand why 50-over cricket needs to continue now that England have won the World Cup. But here we are, with a three-match series to look forward to, and an almighty hangover to avoid.
Traditionally, English sports teams don’t give very good after-the-Lord-Mayor’s-Show, and that will be the biggest challenge for Eoin Morgan before he hands over to Jos Buttler at some stage during this four-year cycle before the next World Cup in India.
Continue reading...Golden Goal: Clive Allen for QPR v West Ham (1984) | Rob Smyth
Allen’s triple drag-back at a muddy Upton Park was the kind of instinctive brilliance that belonged on the Copacabana
For much of her glorious acting career, Edie Falco had a secret: she didn’t know what she was doing. She accepted that, objectively, she was very good – the Golden Globe, Emmy and Screen Guild awards for her work in the Sopranos and Nurse Jackie gave that away – but struggled with her inability to explain why she was good. It all stemmed from her time at college, when she was surrounded by polished students who could articulate what made for great acting. But Falco was the only one who could produce it.
After sustained success, and a chance encounter in an airport with a Meryl Streep biography, Falco became comfortable with the fact that, as she puts it: “There’s certain people who know how to act from a more intrinsic level than an intellectual one.” Probably more than she realises.
Related: Golden goal: Glenn Hoddle for Tottenham v Watford (1983) | Simon Burnton
Fantastic goal by Clive Allen for QPR in 1984. pic.twitter.com/1NfOQ7Abp1
Continue reading...February 1, 2020
Liverpool 4-0 Southampton, West Ham 3-3 Brighton and more – as it happened
Mo Salah scored twice as Liverpool moved 22 points clear, Brighton fought back at the London Stadium and Everton came from 2-0 down to win at Watford
5.17pm GMT
That’s it for today’s blog. Thanks for your company and emails. Cheers!
Related: Manchester United v Wolves: Premier League – live!
5.17pm GMT
Liverpool 4-0 Southampton
Related: Mo Salah at the double as Liverpool smash four past Southampton
5.14pm GMT
Related: Karim Benzema hits winner as Real pip Atlético in Madrid derby
5.07pm GMT
Bournemouth 2-1 Aston Villa
Related: Lerma sees red but Bournemouth beat Aston Villa thanks to Billing and Aké
5.04pm GMT
Manchester United v Wolves Scott Murray is following the late game, with added Bruno Fernandes.
Related: Manchester United v Wolves: Premier League – live!
Not that bad mate, it’s only a loan agreement. https://t.co/KUCMA0ksRa
5.02pm GMT
Starts: 1. Sub appearances: 2. Goals: 7
Related: European football roundup: Haaland on target again with Dortmund double
5.00pm GMT
Crikey, that was a wee bit breathless. We’ll have match reports shortly; meantime, these are the final scores in our featured games.
Premier League
4.58pm GMT
“The first rule of Clockwatch Club: don’t ask Rob how Clockwatch works...” says Ian Copestake.
4.57pm GMT
Leeds’ troubling form continues with a surprise defeat at home to Wigan. They drop to second, below West Brom, and are only three points ahead of Fulham.
4.56pm GMT
That’s some victory for Everton. They were 2-0 down and then had Fabian Delph sent off with the score at 2-2, but Theo Walcott grabbed a late winner.
4.55pm GMT
Trust me, you don’t want to know.
4.54pm GMT
Another away win for this wonderful Sheffield United side, although they needed a weird own goal from Vicente Guaita to win the match.
4.54pm GMT
A crazy game at the London Stadium ends level, and West Ham drop into the relegation places as a result.
4.53pm GMT
Karim Benzema’s goal puts Real six points clear at the top of La Liga, at least until tomorrow.
4.52pm GMT
A huge win for Bournemouth, who held on with 10 men after Jefferson Lerma’s debatable red card early in the second half.
4.52pm GMT
Liverpool are now four points away from mathematically securing a Champions League place. Oh, and they are 22 points clear at the top. If that’s now awesome, I don’t know what is.
4.50pm GMT
Ten-man Everton have come from 2-0 down to win the match! The winner came on the counter-attack, with Theo Walcott reacting smartly to score from Moise Kean’s miskick.
4.49pm GMT
Lies, damned lies and football scorelines: Mo Salah has scored another excellent goal to make it 4-0 at Anfield. Imagine what Liverpool will be like when they start dominating games.
4.48pm GMT
West Ham 3-3 Brighton Lukasz Fabianski makes a spectacular save from Solly March’s free-kick!
4.46pm GMT
“Hi Rob,” says Gar Byrne. “Are the rules of Clockwatch similar to those of Fight Club?”
Not really, though I do often feel a compulsion to throw hands.
4.45pm GMT
“Liverpool’s greatness, such as it is, comes from the game of inches way they’ve gone about their business,” says Niall Mullen. “They’ve gone green just been 1% better than the opposition but they’ve put that back to back for nearly two full seasons.”
Yes, which is even more astonishing giventhey were just one of the pack in 2017-18. In their spirit and aura, not to mention the breakneck brilliance of their football, they remind me more than any team since of Man Utd’s Treble team.
4.42pm GMT
West Ham 3-3 Brighton It’s all Brighton now. Trossard hits the side netting from a tight angle, with men waiting in the middle. A Brighton winner could do untold damage to West Ham’s season.
4.41pm GMT
James Norwood scores a consolation goal* for Ipswich.
* Hi Mac.
4.40pm GMT
“Please explain how Clockwatch works,” says James Boyle. “I’d like to avoid being confused with the ignorant masses out there.”
If you knew how Clockwatch works, you’d know I don’t have time to explain how Clockwatch works during the last 10 minutes of a Clockwatch!
4.38pm GMT
Glenn Murray has equalised for Brighton! There was an interminable VAR check for handball against Murray, but the chaps on Sky reckon it came off his torso. More to the point, Team VAR thought the same.
4.37pm GMT
Bruno Fernandes has gone straight into the Manchester United starting XI for the match against Wolves.
Related: Manchester United v Wolves: Premier League – live!
4.34pm GMT
“How delightfully fair minded of you to mention Ings’ penalty appeal that was turned down and yet studiously ignore Firmino’s stronger appeal in the first half that was, y’know, also turned down,” says Joe Doran. “Anything to keep that LiVARpool narrative going, eh?”
If you had any idea how Clockwatches work, you wouldn’t have sent that email. No, that bit’s not up for discussion. However, you aren’t familiar with the process, so I’ll forgive your ignorant passive-aggression.
4.33pm GMT
West Ham can’t quite put Brighton away: Pascal Gross has made it 3-2 at the London Stadium.
4.32pm GMT
Watford 2-2 Everton Ah, Everton are down to 10 men: Fabian Delph has walked.
4.31pm GMT
Crystal Palace 0-1 Sheffield United Palace’s Joel Ward is sent off - but the decision is overturned by VAR.
4.29pm GMT
A classy finish from Mo Salah confirms yet another victory for Liverpool.
4.29pm GMT
Semi Ajayi has put West Brom 2-0 ahead. That, surely, will be enough for their first league win in six weeks.
4.28pm GMT
The Tanzanian striker Mbwana Samatta scores on his Premier League debut to give Villa a chance against 10-man Bournemouth. I wouldn’t want to have a Bournemouth fan’s heart rate right now.
4.26pm GMT
The latest scores in our featured games
Premier League
4.25pm GMT
Bundesliga It has finished Mainz 1-3 Bayern Munich, so Bayern go top of the table for at least a few hours. They will stay there unless Leipzig beat Monchengladbach in tonight’s big game.
4.23pm GMT
Bundesliga It has finished Dortmund 5-0 Union Berlin, with Erling Braut Haaland scoring twice on his full debut to make it seven goals in three games for his new club.
4.22pm GMT
Madon. Wigan have taken the lead at Elland Road. It has gone down as an own goal from Pablo Hernandez, though there was also talk of a dreadful error from Kiko Casilla. Things are getting exquisitely tight at the top of the Championship.
4.20pm GMT
The oft-maligned Karim Benzema has given Real Madrid the lead in the derby. If it stays like that they will go six points clear of Barcelona, who play tomorrow.
4.19pm GMT
Liverpool 2-0 Southampton “I think a lot of the insecurity us Liverpool fans are feeling comes from the fact that weve not always played all that well,” says Andy Gracie. “Look at today so far, for example. We seem to win through sheer pigheadedness rather than greatness.”
That’s a fair point, and one that makes their record even more astonishing. I’d dispute the lack of greatness, though: they’ve got 73 points from 25 games!
4.18pm GMT
Southampton have been much the better team, so they probably knew this was coming. Jordan Henderson finishes calmly from Roberto Firmino’s cutback to double Liverpool’s lead.
4.15pm GMT
An extraordinary error from the usually excellent Vicente Guaita, who collects a corner and backpedals over his own line.
4.15pm GMT
Another deflected shot from Robert Snodgrass restores West Ham’s two-goal lead. I’d love to stop and chat but there’s been another bloody goal elsewhere.
4.10pm GMT
That’s seven goals in three games - two of them as substitute - for Erland Braut Haaland. He’s still only 19.
4.10pm GMT
Bournemouth 2-0 Aston Villa Bournemouth are down to 10 men, with Jefferson Lerma seeing his usual yellow card and raising it to two yellow cards. Apparently the second booking was extremely soft, though. It’s a good job they’ve got VAR to correct decisio- oh never mind.
4.09pm GMT
Ach, I can’t keep up with all this. Brighton are back in it at West Ham.
4.08pm GMT
Liverpool 1-0 Southampton A very good penalty appeal at one end, a Liverpool goal at the other. How many times has that happened, Pep?
Pep Guardiola is not happy
Watch live now on Sky Sports PL or follow here: https://t.co/tIbipDtyYB pic.twitter.com/QBF18Z29mv
4.07pm GMT
For the second time this season, Liverpool score after the opposition have a strong penalty appeal turned down. Danny Ings went down, Liverpool broke and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. I haven’t seen it, because we can’t watch 3pm games, but it sounds pretty controversial. VAR has certainly been their friend this season, not that they’ve really needed any help.
4.05pm GMT
“I reckon you might one day win one of those Wurlitzer prizes they give proper journalists for being so early to realise that Klopp has taken the club as far as he can,” says Paul Griffin. “In fact, the chickens came home to roost a while ago, but the European Cup, 40-game unbeaten run, and fragile veneer of utter invincibility have masked this. You’re the Woodward and Bernstein of football managers taking it as far as they can and should not give up.”
They’re the best team in the world. He really has taken them as far as he can, unless he wants to hang on until 2030 for the inaugural Interplanetary Club World Cup.
4.02pm GMT
Dortmund 4-0 Union Berlin I missed a couple of goals in this game - but fear not, they weren’t scored by Erling Braut Haaland. A Marco Reus penalty and Axel Witsel have secured three points for Dortmund.
4.00pm GMT
“Liverpool’s lack of an early advantage would normally be worrying for me,” says Matt Dony. “Every win, every good result, every game where they extend this ridiculous run, it just makes it even more terrifying that the wheels could suddenly fall off. Realistically, they’re going to lose a game sooner or later. And a scrambled, messy goal, shinned in by Shane Long would be just typical. But, right now, I’m busy thoroughly enjoying the early days of Pivac-ball. It’s a better Saturday than I was expecting.”
What is wrong with you lot? All I hear from the Liverpool fans I know is fear, caution and why you’re definitely going to lose to West Ham/Southampton/Norwich/Shrewsbury. I suppose it beats the usual oafish triumphalism, but come on: you’re the best team in the world, you’re probably going to win the title in March, you could do an InvinciTreble. Put your feet up for a few months.
3.56pm GMT
HT and a goalless Madrid Derby. Atletico been better and have hit the post. Real Madrid have been poor but they're playing literally one of the worst goalscoring teams in the league, so somehow they're not behind.
3.54pm GMT
“Could you please stop putting the mockers on Watford?” implores Mac Millings, like Bernie Bernbaum begging for his life in Miller’s Crossing. “Your ‘Tranmere consolation goal’ is the reason my Hornets got knocked out of the Cup, and now you’ve gone and scored twice for Everton. Smyth out!”
3.53pm GMT
“Rob, darling,” says Ian Copestake. “Which postal code are Watford in now?”
According to my records it’s FU66 0FF.
3.51pm GMT
The half-time scores in our featured 3pm kick-offs
Premier League
3.50pm GMT
It’s there!
3.49pm GMT
Yerry Mina has scored his second goal in four minutes, heading past Ben Foster to bring Everton level! I should probably shut up against Watford’s great escape, eh.
3.47pm GMT
Liverpool 0-0 Southampton It’s half-time at Anfield, where Southampton are giving Liverpool a fair old game. It’s not an easy thing to say, but an intrepid journalist should always ask the difficult questions: has Jurgen Klopp taken Liverpool as far as he can?
3.46pm GMT
One back for Everton. Can people please stop scoring goals?
3.45pm GMT
And this would be a huge win for West Ham. Robert Snodgrass has doubled their lead at the London Stadium with a deflected shot.
3.45pm GMT
Nathan Ake doubles Bournemouth’s lead, following up after Ryan Fraser’s shot is parried by Pepe Reina. This would be a huge win for Bournemouth.
3.44pm GMT
Watford 2-0 Everton Watford’s revival reminds me of Sheffield United’s season of two halves in 1990-91. They could easily finish in the top half of the table.
3.42pm GMT
Watford, surely, are staying up. Roberto Pereyra takes advantage of some slapstick defending the clip the ball over Jordan Pickford and into the bet,
3.41pm GMT
Championship It’s been a crazy half at Craven Cottage. Fulham raced into a 3-0 lead aginst Huddersfield, scoring some beautiful goals in the process. It’s now 3-2.
3.39pm GMT
The latest scores in our featured games (all 3pm k/o unless stated)
Premier League
3.39pm GMT
Will Norris, the Ipswich keeper, tries to dribble Sammie Szmodics on his own goalline. It’ll be a while before he does that again.
3.38pm GMT
Randell Williams equalises in the big League Two clash.
3.37pm GMT
Philip Billing steers a left-footed shot past Pepe Reina to give Bournemouth the lead in their vital 3.473194151-pointer against Aston Villa.
3.33pm GMT
Liverpool 0-0 Southampton The home side are starting to impose their class. The Southampton keeper Alex McCarthy has just made an outstanding double save from Virgil van Dijk and Roberto Firmino, it says here.
3.31pm GMT
Issa Diop beats Brighton’s offside trap to slide a free-kick into the net and give West Ham the lead at the London Stadium.
3.29pm GMT
The latest scores in our featured games
Premier League
3.28pm GMT
Another goal in the League One promotion race, with Christian Burgess applying his noggin to a lofted free-kick to give Portsmouth the lead at home to Sunderland.
3.26pm GMT
A controversial penalty, scored by Ivan Toney, gives Peterborough the lead at Portman Road.
3.25pm GMT
Eoin Doyle has given League Two leaders Swindon the lead against second-placed Exeter. Actually, it may have been an own goal from Aaron Martin, like Swindon will care.
3.24pm GMT
“Southampton have been the better side, so far,” says Mary Waltz. “Liverpool is like the crocodile waiting at the watering hole. Eventually something tasty gets thirsty and womp, they become dinner.”
I really think they could do an InvinciTreble.
3.18pm GMT
Jerry St. Juste scores an excellent goal on the stroke of half-time to give Mainz a sniff against Bayern Munich.
3.18pm GMT
West Brom lead the bottom side Luton thanks to an own goal from Donervon Daniels. Their league form has been very dodgy of late, but this is a great chance to win for the first time since mid-December.
3.15pm GMT
Liverpool 0-0 Southampton It’s been an excellent start from Southampton, who have the been better side at Anfield. They should apparently have had an indirect free-kick in the area when Alisson picked up an Andy Robertson backpass.
3.14pm GMT
“In reponse to James Debens,” says Ian Copestake, “I don’t want to get too technical but hahahahahahaha.”
3.12pm GMT
Watford 1-0 Everton As things stand, Watford are out of the relegation zone. When Nigel Pearson took over in December, they were in a different postcode to the rest of the league; now they are only eight points off fifth place.
3.10pm GMT
Watford’s spectacular home from under Nigel Pearson continues. Adam Masina has given them an early lead against Everton, finshing a fine team move.
3.08pm GMT
West Ham 0-0 Brighton It’s been a lively start at West Ham, with their new signing Tomas Soucek forcing a good save from Mat Ryan.
3.07pm GMT
The latest scores in our featured games (all 3pm k/o unless stated)
Premier League
3.06pm GMT
“I believe Liverpool will cash in on Salah in summer,” says James Debens. “What say you? Who could replace him? He’s been fantastic but could Shane Long do a job? PS I’m having to wear sunglasses indoors, since an excess of Jessica Fletchering on my laptop has given me a squint that’s frightening the Japanese serving staff. So, apologies for any typos!”
I did wonder what that Shane Long stuff was all about.
3.02pm GMT
West Ham 0-0 Brighton Aaron Mooy has missed a great early chance for Brighton, heading wide from seven yards.
3.01pm GMT
“Hi Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “Regarding Haaland’s age, I hope you duly intoned it in your Steve Coogan doing Michael Caine’s accent of melancholy: ‘He was only 19.’”
I could watch this clip all day, and I think I will now. That’s it from me, bye!
2.58pm GMT
A lovely solo goal from Thiago Alcantara extends Bayern Munich’s lead at the Opel Arena.
2.52pm GMT
There he goes. That’s six goals in 77 minutes as a Dortmund player for Erling Braut Haaland. He’s 19 years old.
2.46pm GMT
It looks like Bayern are in for a comfortable afternoon.
2.45pm GMT
Dortmund-goal-not-scored-by-Haaland-shocker.
2.42pm GMT
“Romario, Rivaldo, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho ... Richarlison,” says Charles Antaki. “It might have worked. But Barcelona are looking jaded and need a change. Shane Long?”
Longaldinho to you, mate.
2.41pm GMT
An early goal in one of the big Bundesliga games, with Robert Lewandowski heading Bayern into the lead. As things stand they are top of the Bundesliga, though Leipzig and Monchengladbach - the top two before kick-off - meet later.
2.34pm GMT
Related: Chelsea’s Antonio Rüdiger scores twice to earn draw with Leicester City
2.33pm GMT
A bit of Everton news
Barcelona x Richarlison = not on Carlo’s watch.
Related: Everton will not sell Richarlison in the summer, Carlo Ancelotti says
2.28pm GMT
Leicester 2-2 Chelsea was the final score in the early Premier League game. Read all about it.
Related: Leicester City 2-2 Chelsea: Premier League – live!
2.28pm GMT
West Ham v Brighton team news
West Ham (4-3-2-1) Fabianski; Fredericks, Diop, Ogbonna, Cresswell; Noble, Rice, Soucek; Snodgrass, Antonio; Haller.
2.26pm GMT
Watford v Everton team news
Watford (4-2-3-1) Foster; Mariappa, Kabasele, Cathcart, Masina; Chalobah, Capoue; Pereyra, Doucoure, Deulofeu; Deeney.
2.23pm GMT
Newcastle v Norwich team news
Newcastle (3-4-2-1) Dubravka; Fernandez, Lascelles, Clark; Yedlin, Bentaleb, Hayden, Ritchie; Almiron, Saint-Maximin; Joelinton.
2.21pm GMT
Liverpool v Southampton team news
Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Gomez, van Dijk, Robertson; Henderson, Fabinho, Wijnaldum; Salah, Firmino, Oxlade-Chamberlain.
2.14pm GMT
Crystal Palace v Sheffield United team news
Crystal Palace (4-3-2-1) Guaita; Ward, Cahill, Tomkins, van Aanholt; McArthur, Milivojevic, McArthy; Ayew, Zaha; Benteke.
2.12pm GMT
Bournemouth v Aston Villa team news
Bournemouth (4-3-3) Ramsdale; Smith, Francis, Ake, Rico; Gosling, Lerma, Billing; H Wilson, C Wilson, Fraser.
2.03pm GMT
Real Madrid v Atletico Madrid team news
Real Madrid (4-1-4-1) Courtois; Carvajal, Varane, Ramos, Mendy; Casemiro; Valverde, Modric, Kroos, Isco; Benzema.
2.02pm GMT
There have been two more at the King Power Stadium. Click here to
make our web traffic figures look a bit better
find out who scored them.
1.51pm GMT
It’s still a cricket score at the King Power Stadium, where Chelsea have reduced Leicester to one for one.
Related: Leicester City v Chelsea: Premier League – live!
1.50pm GMT
Bundesliga team news Erling Braut Haaland makes his full debut for Borussia Dortmund against FC Union Berlin. If he maintains his goals-per-minute ratio since moving to Germany, he’ll score seven times before being substituted to a standing ovation in the 84th minute.
1.32pm GMT
Scott Murray is following the early match between Leicester and Chelsea, with the second half about to begin. It’s a cricket score at the King Power Stadium!
Related: Leicester City v Chelsea: Premier League – live!
1.00pm GMT
Hello and welcome to live coverage of this afternoon’s sporting entertainment. Humanity may be over but football carries on doggedly, and there’s a pretty good fixture list this afternoon.
Liverpool will go 22 (T-W-E-N-T-etc) points clear ifwhen they beat Southampton at Anfield, and there are some huge relegation battles at the other end of the Premier League. (Please don’t call them six-pointers, or I may have to pull back my sleeves and adminster a maths lesson.) There’s also the Madrid derby, Rangers v Aberdeen and a meeting of the top two in League Two.
Continue reading...January 28, 2020
Aston Villa 2-1 Leicester City (agg: 3-2): Carabao Cup semi-final, second leg – as it happened
The substitute Trezeguet scored a superb injury-time winner to settle a thrilling match and take Aston Villa to Wembley
12.50am GMT
Dean Smith is a happy man.
Related: Aston Villa’s Dean Smith says he let himself go after goal ‘made in Egypt’
10.17pm GMT
Ed Aarons kept a close eye on Aston Villa’s new signing.
Related: Samatta is given his chance but Grealish grabs eye in Aston Villa win
10.00pm GMT
That’s it for tonight’s blog. I’m off to book my tickets for Wembley in March; Lewis Capaldi’s doing a two-night residence. Thanks for your company and emails - goodnight.
Related: Trézéguet volleys late winner to send Aston Villa to Carabao Cup final
9.54pm GMT
“Who do you support Rob?” says Sean Tizzard. “Be honest? Without Nyland, Villa would have been dead and buried. But still you can only praise Grealish’s 40-yard wonder balls and get the balance of your tweets all wrong. Read them again. A journalist didn’t offer them - a Villa fan did…”
I am so busted. I have Peter Withe underpants you know.
9.52pm GMT
Orjan Nyland speaks “It was crazy at the end of the game, through the roof really. Unbelievable. The first 15 minutes they put a lot of pressure on us, so they take the lead was massive. We did well in the second half - we dug in another time and got the winner. [Is that your best performance for Villa?] Yeah, definitely. The first leg was my best performance, but to come out and do it again was amazing. I hope to play at Wembley, yeah!”
9.48pm GMT
“Biased Guardian shit...” says Sean Tizzard. “Have you got a Villa supporter doing your comments tonight? Lovely scenes for who? Let’s have some balance.”
Oh for heaven’s sake. There were lovely scenes for any neutral who quite enjoys it when nice things happen to underdogs and decent human beings. Like at the King Power Stadium on - ooh, let’s pick a date at random - the 7th May 2016.
9.45pm GMT
“Cracking game, but both Villa goals came from Pereira’s side,” says Rob Moore. “He’s great going forward but Leicester have been gradually found out over the last month, largely through those holes where Perez should be.”
Yeah, he could have done better for the second goal. Not sure about the first, as he was left one against two.
9.44pm GMT
Jack Grealish speaks
“I just think it shows what character we’ve got in the team. This time last month we were in a sticky patch – we couldn’t string five passes together, never mind a win. It’s brilliant for the club: another trip to Wembley, and we’re looking forward to it.
9.42pm GMT
Dean Smith, the Villa supporter and manager, gives Nyland a never-ending pat on the back in the tunnel. These are lovely scenes.
9.41pm GMT
Ezri Konsa will be able to play in the final. I thought he would miss out after his yellow card, but the FA have said that isn’t the case.
9.39pm GMT
Trezeguet, who scored the winner, and Orjan Nyland, who made umpteen saves across both legs, will take a long time to get off the field. Jack Grealish and Matt Targett were also immense.
9.38pm GMT
The final whistle goes: Villa are back at Wembley, and there’s an almighty pitch invasion!
9.38pm GMT
90+7 min Maddison hits the wall - and that’s it!
9.37pm GMT
90+6 min It’s still not over! Maddison has been fouled 30 yards from goal. This should be the last kick of the game...
9.36pm GMT
90+5 min The corner is headed away to the edge of the box, and Ricardo lashes it over the bar. That should be it.
9.36pm GMT
90+4 min Leicester have a corner. Schmeichel is forward...
9.35pm GMT
What a finish! Elmohamady, deep on the right, curled a glorious ball between the Leicester defenders and keeper. It went beyond the far post to Trezeguet, who cushioned a beautiful left-footed volley across Schmeichel and into the far corner.
9.34pm GMT
Aston Villa are going to Wembley!!!!
9.32pm GMT
90+1 min “With 15 shots at goal,” deadpuns Matt Stephens, “are Leicester City overusing the Maddison Avenue?”
9.32pm GMT
90 min Four minutes of added time, and then a penalty competition.
9.31pm GMT
89 min Maddison curls a corner to the far post, where the under-pressure heads this far wide. Actually, it was even closer than that. It may have got a touch off Konsa as well. Either way, it was inches wide.
9.27pm GMT
86 min Demarai Gray belatedly replaces Harvey Barnes.
9.27pm GMT
85 min I reckon James Maddison has had 15 shots in this tie. Maybe he’s due.
9.25pm GMT
84 min Another Villa change, with the right wing-back Guilbert replaced by Ahmed Elmohamady.
9.24pm GMT
82 min: Chance for Villa on the break! Davis slides an angled through pass to Trezeguet, who moves into the area on the left but hits a fairly tame shot that is comfortably held by the tumbling Schmeichel.
9.23pm GMT
81 min “Hi Rob,” says Patrick. “Away goals, etc: does any knockout competition anywhere use time ahead to separate teams? I mean, where Team A’s 70 minutes in the lead (their 10th-minute goal against Team B’s on 80 mins) in a 1-1 draw gets them the result?”
Not that I know of. Imaginative though it is, I’m not sure about that idea; I can see a lot of parked buses.
9.22pm GMT
80 min: Double chance for Leicester! Vardy’s low cross was miskicked by Iheanacho at the near post, and Maddison put the loose ball over the bar from 15 yards. I suspect Villa would take penalties now. As with Romania and England at France 98, only one team is going to score here.
9.20pm GMT
78 min Maddison’s deflected cross is kicked behind by Mings. Leicester are going for the kill.
9.18pm GMT
77 min Another Villa change: Trezeguet on, El Ghazi off.
9.18pm GMT
76 min Soyuncu, who might have been booked earlier, gets a yellow card for a high tackle on Grealish.
9.16pm GMT
75 min Demarai Gray was about to come on for Harvey Barnes when Leicester equalised. Now he is back on the bench, sporting a mildly affronted coupon.
9.15pm GMT
As things stand, the tie is going to penalties. Leicester moved the ball nicely from left to right and then back across again. Barnes swerved away from Guilbert on the edge of the area and hammered a speculative low cross into ths six-yard box. It cleared everyone in front of goal but reached Iheanacho beyond the far post, and he finished gleefully from close range. It was a harder chance than it looked, actually, because of the pace on the ball. Iheanacho adjusted his feet quickly on the run and slammed it in with his left foot.
9.13pm GMT
Kelechi Iheanacho scores against Aston Villa again!
9.11pm GMT
69 min Maddison’s snapshot from the right side of the area goes high and wide of the near post. Jamie Vardy hasn’t touched the ball since coming on 14 minutes ago.
9.10pm GMT
69 min Targett’s very deep corner from the right is headed over by Konsa. He just couldn’t over the ball; had he done so it would have been a fairly simple header because Schmeichel was nowhere.
9.08pm GMT
67 min A Villa substitution. The debutant Ally Samatta, who worked extremely hard but looked short of a gallop, is replaced by Keinan Davis.
9.08pm GMT
66 min Jack Grealish is having a stormer.
9.07pm GMT
64 min: Samatta misses a great chance! Grealish, lurking 40 yards from goal in the inside-right channel, curled a stunning pass between the defenders and goalkeeper that zipped past the unmarked Samatta at the far post. It did bounce a little awkwardly, but he should still have scored. He was four yards from goal and missed the ball completely. It was such a good pass from Grealish, the sort you’d expect from Trent Alexander-Arnold or Kevin De Bruyne.
9.05pm GMT
63 min Grealish’s superb left-footed cross is about to reach Guilbert at the far post when Chilwell flies towards his own goal and heads behind for a corner. Great defending.
9.04pm GMT
62 min Grealish blasts high and wide from the left corner of the box after a one-two with his partner-in-crime Targett. Those two have combined brilliantly all night.
9.03pm GMT
61 min Villa look relatively comfortable at the moment. Relatively. Leicester are showing the first signs of impatience.
9.01pm GMT
60 min Now Douglas Luiz is booked for kicking the ball away.
9.01pm GMT
59 min Barnes wriggles away from two Villa defenders on the edge of the area. He overruns the ball but it comes to Iheanacho, who turns and places a shot too close to Nyland. That was his most comfortable save of the night.
9.00pm GMT
58 min Leicester have switched to a 4-D-2 formation since Vardy came on, with Iheanacho alongside him up front.
Mings, who was struggling a few minutes ago, seems okay for now.
8.58pm GMT
57 min Konsa is booked for throwing the ball away, which means he’ll miss the final if Villa get there.
8.58pm GMT
56 min Jamie Vardy is on for Leicester, a bit earlier than expected. The anonymous Ayoze Perez comes off.
8.57pm GMT
55 min Soyuncu flattens Grealish and is a bit lucky not to be booked. The two go head to head after Soyuncu accuses Grealish of diving, but they soon shake hands and make up.
8.56pm GMT
54 min Targett finds Grealish just inside the box on the left. He escapes a Soyuncu-Maddison sandwich but then drags his shot well wide of the near post. Moments later, Targett cracks a shot wide of the far post from 20 yards. Grealish’s was the better chance.
8.55pm GMT
53 min Mings is struggling. It looks like he pulled a muscle when he was stretched to make that interception a couple of minutes ago.
8.54pm GMT
53 min There have been a few zesty challenges since half-time, and it feels like the game could boil over.
8.54pm GMT
52 min Ndidi curls a dangerous through pass towards Iheanacho that is crucially intercepted by the stretching Mings.
8.50pm GMT
49 min Tielemans flashes a dangerous ball right across the six-yard box. Leicester have made a fast start to the second half, as they did the first.
8.49pm GMT
48 min ... and nothing comes of it.
8.49pm GMT
47 min Barnes wins a corner for Leicester, which will be taken by Maddison...
8.47pm GMT
46 min Peep peep! Leicester begin the second half. No changes on either side.
8.37pm GMT
“Okay, time to add another VAR disaster to the list,” says J.R in Illinois. “Upon replay that was a blatant handball by Nakamba. Who’s the VAR for this game? Are they afraid to tell Mike Dean he missed something? Oh man it’s so maddening.”
8.34pm GMT
Peep peep! Aston Villa lead through Matt Targett’s early goal. It was a superb half of football, with Villa looking dangerous on the break and Leicester forcing three seriously good saves from Orjan Nyland. See you soon for the second half.
8.30pm GMT
44 min Villa break four on four, with El Ghazi’s cross headed over his own bar by Soyuncu. They’ve been a threat on the counter-attack all night.
8.28pm GMT
43 min “As Nyland dominates through his fingertip brilliance,” begins Michael Hughes, “it’s hard not to acknowledge Schmeichel’s weary trudge towards his only honour this season: The Annual Roy Keane Memorial, Most Overrated Player of his Generation Award. Sad.”
8.27pm GMT
41 min Leicester have upped their game in the last five minutes or so, with Villa struggling to get out of their half.
8.26pm GMT
40 min “Rob, why do you think the away goals rule is antiquated?” says Paul-Derek Flint. “Excitement never goes out of fashion.”
Well, the away goal doesn’t have a monopoly on excitement - this game has been pretty good, for example. As for why, I suppose the argument is that teams are less likely to play for a 0-0 away from home, as they did during the golden age of catenaccio. I think it’s quite hard to justify the away-goals rule, logically and philosophically, although as I said I do really like it. The tension in the second leg, when the draw is no longer possible, is delicious. But you could also argue that it’s contrived.
8.24pm GMT
38 min This is a brilliant game. Grealish and Targett combine superbly on the left again before Targett cuts the ball back towards Samatta at the near post. He can’t sort his feet out in time and miskicks his attempted first-time shot. That was a decent chance, although it was a sharp cutback from Targett.
8.22pm GMT
36 min I’ve seen a replay now, and under the new laws I’m not sure why it wasn’t a penalty. Maddison’s shot hit Nakamba’s outstretched arm just inside the area. It wasn’t deliberate - Nakamba wasn’t even looking the ball - but his hand was surely in an unnatural position.
8.20pm GMT
34 min: Tielemans hits the bar! It was another great save from Nyland. Tielemans played a one-two on the left, cut inside and hit a cracking rising drive from 20 yards that was pawed onto the bar by Nyland. Maddison then appealed for a penalty when his follow-up shot was blocked. VAR decided there was no handball, although I haven’t seen a replay.
8.17pm GMT
31 min There has been nothing in the game since Targett’s goal. You could argue that, for all Leicester’s possession, Villa have been the more dangerous side in the last 20 minutes.
8.14pm GMT
29 min Maddison loses Nakamba beautifully on the edge of the centre circle, advances to within 25 yards of goal and then slashes a shot well wide.
8.13pm GMT
28 min “I’m really glad that Brendan isn’t leaving anything in the bag, instead sending out his best,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “If the last couple of days taught us anything, a couple of days that have advanced the dismembering of the Spurs ‘nearly team’ and the death of basketball’s Kobe Bryant at age 41 it is this: you get so very few chances in sport to complete what you started as a child kicking or shooting a tiny ball at a plastic net, when you have a real chance to touch the silverware, to really know what winning feels like, don’t let the moment pass. Because life, especially the sporting life, guarantees you no second chances, tomorrow may not come.”
8.12pm GMT
26 min: Disallowed goal for Villa. Ndidi gets a last warning for a foul on Grealish, who has been immense so far. As I type that, Grealish plays a lovely angled through pass to release Guilbert - but he makes his run too early and is rightly flagged offside before he crosses for Samatta to score.
8.10pm GMT
24 min A few minutes of calm amid the storm. That goal has certainly had an impact on Leicester, who started the game like a team in a serious hurry. Now they need to be a bit more careful because another Villa goal would put them in serious trouble.
8.06pm GMT
21 min The first quarter of the game has flown by, which is usually a good sign. A Leicester corner is headed away to Ricardo, who slashes the bouncing ball just wide from 25 yards. Nyland had it covered.
8.05pm GMT
20 min El Ghazi’s deep cross from the right is cushioned neatly by Targett, back towards Grealish on the edge of the area. Ndidi gets out well to block Grealish’s first-time shot.
8.04pm GMT
19 min The debutant Samatta pleases the crowd by harassing Tielemans into a mistake near the halfway line. He hasn’t seen much of the ball yet, with Villa playing largely on the break.
8.03pm GMT
18 min Goals change games, and Leicester have yet to regain their strut since going behind.
8.02pm GMT
16 min “Hi Rob,” says Matt Burtz. “What are your thoughts on the away goals rule not applying here? I understand that the reasoning behind the rule is probably antiquated, but I think it rewards attacking play and overall makes a two-legged affair more exciting.”
Most people I know hate the rule. I’ve always loved it, particularly in Europe, because of the exquisite tension. But like you, I appreciate it’s probably antiquated.
8.01pm GMT
15 min Maddison shoves Grealish over 25 yards from goal, a silly and needless foul. El Ghazi curls it just over the bar. I think Schmeichel would have it covered as he scrambled to his left, but it was a fine effort.
7.58pm GMT
The goal came from a good Villa counter-attack. It was made by Grealish, who held off Ricardo just inside the Leicester area while he waited for support. Eventually he bounced a short reverse pass to the overlapping Targett, who smashed a first-time shot that whistled past the left leg of Schmeichel. He couldn’t decide whether to try to save it with his hands or feet; in the end, he did neither.
7.57pm GMT
Villa take the lead against the run of play!
7.55pm GMT
9 min Maddison completes a hat-trick of near misses. Already. It was another lovely fingertip save from Nyland, who was probably unsighted when Maddison cracked a left-footed shot from 20 yards. It was going in the corner until Nyland dived a long way to his left to push it round the post.
7.53pm GMT
8 min Tacticswatch: Leicester are playing a 4-2-3-1, with Maddison further forward and Tielemans alongside Ndidi. Thus far it has worked; M addison could have scored twice.
7.52pm GMT
7 min Another chance for Maddison, who slams a left-footed snapshot just wide from the edge of the box. Leicester have made a seriously fast start with and without the ball.
7.51pm GMT
5 min: Brilliant save from Nyland! This has been a great start to the game. Leicester broke dangerously through Iheanacho, who found Maddison on the edge of the area. He beat Mings beautifully through sleight of hip and sidefooted a low shot towards the far corner. Nyland plunged to his left, strained every sinew in his left arm and just got enough on the ball to push it behind for a corner.
7.50pm GMT
4 min A lovely attack from Villa. Grealish plays a fine angled pass to the underlapping Targett, whose driven first-time cross is kicked away at the near post by the stretching Schmeichel with Samatta waiting behind him.
7.48pm GMT
2 min An early chance for Iheanacho! He has such a good record against Villa and almost scored inside two minutes. He was too strong for Mings as the pair wrestled for a bouncing ball on the left side of the area. His shirt was being pulled by Mings but he stayed on his feet and smashed a shot from a very tight angle that was blocked by Nyland.
7.47pm GMT
2 min There aren’t many empty seats now, and there’s a cracking noise as Villa attack for the first time. Chilwell lumps the ball clear.
7.45pm GMT
1 min Peep peep! Villa kick off from right to left. They are in claret and blue; Leicester are in their dark grey away kit.
7.39pm GMT
There are a surprising number of empty seats at Villa Park, though that’s probably because thousands of supporters are in the bowels of the stadium quaffing something other than Carabao.
7.10pm GMT
This is sheer delightful football writing
Related: Charlton v Netzer: when stars faced off to celebrate the UK joining Europe
7.04pm GMT
Brendanwatch “I think tonight could potentially reveal a little bit about Rodgers’ evolution as a coach,” says Stephen Carr. “Will he play his strongest team in their natural positions or will he try and be the smartest guy in the room with innumerable false nines, inverted pyramids and perhaps a rush goalie?”
It looks like the strongest team. I think Rodgers has a slightly unfair reputationt. He did and said a few ludicrous things when he was younger, but didn’t we all. In tactical terms, I’ve never really seen him as someone who tries to make the game about him.
6.52pm GMT
Pre-match reading
Related: Aston Villa set to play £8.5m signing Mbwana Samatta against Leicester
6.50pm GMT
Ally Samatta, Villa’s new Tanzanian striker, goes straight into the starting XI. Jamie Vardy is only fit enough for the Leicester bench; but Wilfred Ndidi, who was badly missed in the first leg, returns to the starting line-up.
Aston Villa (3-4-2-1) Nyland; Konsa, Hause, Mings; Guilbert, Nakamba, Luiz, Targett; El Ghazi, Grealish; Samatta.
Substitutes: Sarkic, Elmohamady, Chester, Hourihane, Lansbury, Trezeguet, Davies.
5.41pm GMT
Hello and welcome to live coverage of the Carabao Cup semi-final second leg between Aston Villa and Leicester City. Tonight’s match is a cynicism-free zone. There will be no entitlement, no ennui at the prospect of another trip to Wembley; just two teams and sets of supporters who are desperate to reach a cup final.
Leicester have not done so since beating Tranmere in the final of this competition 20 years ago. It was known as the Worthington Cup back then, so sponsorship has progressed from booze to energy drinks. By the year 2040, they’ll be competing for the Matcha Latte Cup.
Continue reading...The Fiver | Come on then, what’s José Mourinho up to?
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Come on then, what’s José Mourinho up to? What’s his angle? He has spent most of his career buying ready-made players, and The Fiver fully expected him to celebrate his first transfer window at Spurs by signing Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Samuel Eto’o and Ricardo Carvalho’s dad. Instead, he’s brought in three players whose combined age is only just older than Ibrahimovic. Gedson Fernandes, 21, joined on loan from Benfica with a view to a permanent move; goalscoring winger Steven Bergwijn, 22, is on the way from PSV; and Welsh comedy hip-hop group Goldie Lookin’ Chain, 23, have made their loan from Betis permanent. Eh? What do you mean GLC stands for Giovani Lo Celso?
Related: From Danish dinner to Inter move: how Spurs lost control in Eriksen saga | David Hytner
Continue reading...January 26, 2020
South Africa v England: fourth Test, day three – live!
9.25am GMT
60th over: South Africa 151-7 (de Kock 60, Pretorius 31) A wide outswinger from Curran is belted for four by de Kock. He is playing with immaculate judgement as well as his usual flair, and it’s a pleasure to watch. England, who are getting frustrated, plead unsuccessfully for a change of ball. They’ll have to wait another 20 overs for a new one.
“On the pink oboe,” begins Peter Wood. “It was in fact Billy Connolly who passed on this line to Peter Cook before the performance and Cook promptly inserted it (oo-er) into his brilliant near improvisatory monologue. Cook’s touch of genius was to add the words, ‘a confirmed’ (player of the pink oboe.) While we’re on the subject of Cook’s genius, who could forget his brilliant one-liner in Beyond the Fringe as he sits reading a newspaper, ‘ullo, ullo, I see the Titanic’s sunk again.’”
9.19am GMT
59th over: South Africa 146-7 (de Kock 56, Pretorius 30) de Kock survives a biggish LBW appeal after offering no stroke to a nipbacker from Woakes. It was too high. Joe Root decides to review, which I suspect is a desperate decision. We’ll soon find out.
Yes, replays show it was bouncing over the stumps, so England lose a review. I know this sounds a bit snide, but Eoin Morgan wouldn’t have reviewed that. Root has never been great with DRS, as captain or batsman.
9.15am GMT
58th over: South Africa 142-7 (de Kock 53, Pretorius 29) Byootiful stroke from Pretorius, who laces Curran through the covers for four more.
“Hi Rob,” says Ian Forth. “Wasn’t 2003 also the year Martin Bicknell earned the nickname ‘Odysseus’ after wandering around in county cricket for ten years.”
9.10am GMT
57th over: South Africa 138-7 (de Kock 53, Pretorius 25) Woakes returns after the drinks break. The ball hasn’t really moved this morning, in the air or off the pitch, and batting continues to look very comfortable for de Kock in particular. If he concentrates he should make a hundred.
9.02am GMT
56th over: South Africa 138-7 (de Kock 53, Pretorius 25) “Some excellent sourdough toast this morning has moved me to compose a dodgy haiku for Mark Wood,” says Kim Thonger.
Mark Wood is famed for
horseplay, but now also for
8.58am GMT
55th over: South Africa 137-7 (de Kock 52, Pretorius 25) England don’t look like taking a wicket. Yesterday they beat the bat in almost every over, but this morning there have been few false strokes. The moment I type that, Pretorius plays a couple of windy cross-bat shots at Broad and is beaten.
8.54am GMT
54th over: South Africa 136-7 (de Kock 51, Pretorius 25) Pretorius steers Curran short of and then through the slips for four. With the match and series apparently a formality, it’s easy to forget the individual context. Pretorius is trying to forge a Test career, and a big score here should secure a place in the squad for the tour of the Caribbean later in the year.
8.51am GMT
53rd over: South Africa 132-7 (de Kock 51, Pretorius 21) de Kock drives Broad for a couple to reach another stylish fifty, his 21st in Tests. In a struggling team, he’s a rare source of pride. He’s the most beautiful player to watch.
“I can’t think of the last player that made me feel as genuinely chuffed they were in the team as Mark Wood does (probably Tuffers),” says Guy Hornsby. “He seems such an utter anachronism compared to the modern, skillsets and areas players, and so he’s by definition the most refreshing and interesting to see. Of course he’s serious about the game, but it all comes with such joie de vivre that it’s life-affirming to see him fit and playing well. As you say, he’ll never play all the games, but this last two Tests have shown how dangerous he is. You really could see him causing real bother in Australia. Just how can we keep him fit?”
8.46am GMT
52nd over: South Africa 130-7 (de Kock 49, Pretorius 21) Sam Curran replaces Wood, who wasn’t at his sharpest this morning. That’s a decent move, not least because Curran dismissed de Kock in the first innings of the first three Tests. He starts with a maiden to Pretorius, who survives an optimistic LBW appeal. Too high.
“Remember, too, that Rob Key’s England nickname during that halcyon year of 2003 was Ovid, because he used to follow Virgil in the batting order and had a sybaritic lifestyle before his exile (back to county cricket),” says James Debens. “Sorry, I meant his England nickname was Ovoid.”
8.42am GMT
51st over: South Africa 130-7 (de Kock 49, Pretorius 21) It’s been a comfortable start for South Africa, that soft wicket of Philander aside. With few demons in the pitch and the second new ball not available for another 29 overs, this is a chance for de Kock and Pretorious to cash in.
“Is it cynical to suggest that Root is secretly hoping that SA add a few this morning, to make his inevitable decision not to enforce the follow-on look less absurd?” asks Robert Ellson.
8.38am GMT
50th over: South Africa 128-7 (de Kock 48, Pretorius 20) A short ball from Wood follows de Kock, who bends his back and guides it over first slip for four. He’s a wonderfully skilful batsman.
“Morning Rob,” says Brian Withington. “I think James Debens might have been slyly referencing Peter Cook’s immortal take on the judge summing up for the jury in the Jeremy Thorpe trial. I seem to recall that the obo(e) in question was pink.”
8.33am GMT
49th over: South Africa 123-7 (de Kock 43, Pretorius 20) Pretorius softens his hands to guide Broad to the third man boundary. South Africa need 201 to avoid the follow on, though I’m almost certain England won’t enforce it anyway.
“Good morning Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “I noticed numerous quotes yesterday, mostly in Latin, attributed to Virgil. This reminded me that Michael Vaughan was apparently nicknamed ‘Virgil’ for his likeness to the Thunderbirds character, whose specialist expertise of course included demolition, heavy lifting and logistics, but not, to my knowledge, Latin.”
8.29am GMT
48th over: South Africa 119-7 (de Kock 43, Pretorius 16) A short blast of hot hot heat from Wood. An excellent short ball to de Kock takes a leading edge and lands safely in front of Wood. He follows that with a full-length ball that finds the edge and flies through the vacant third slip area for four.
“Such is Mark Wood’s charisma that I give an extra two pounds to the Big Issue seller who bears an extremely striking resemblance to him,” says James Debens. “You know, the one with the immaculate dentistry who stands outside Co-op and has an iPhone XR that he checks on the sly (a self-confessed player of the OBO perhaps)?”
8.24am GMT
47th over: South Africa 113-7 (de Kock 37, Pretorius 16) Broad replaces Woakes and almost strikes with his first ball, which de Kock edges a fraction short of first slip. Then Pretorius, who has started imperiously, drives Broad to the cover boundary with a flourish. He has 16 from 11 balls.
“Hi Rob,” says Bill Hargreaves. “Jolly good morning to you. I’m christening a new tea pot - with pictures of cows on the side. That is a lovely interview between Ward, Wood and Broad. (Lovely name for a legal practice, too.) It might be naive of me, but I think I enjoy watching a victory if I think the chaps have conducted themselves decently, although I’m totally against judgement (part of my profession), if that isn’t an oxymoron. I think that all possible misdemeanours should be judged against: 1) was it premeditated 2) was it done to attempt to gain competitive advantage. Any issue not gaining both strikes should be struck off, especially when the chap apologises as nicely as Ben Stokes did.”
8.20am GMT
46th over: South Africa 108-7 (de Kock 36, Pretorius 12) I don’t know about you, but I assumed Mark Wood’s Test career was over, so this is such an uplifting development. He’s getting on a wee bit - he turned 30 earlier in the month - but he’s now a serious option for the tours of India and Australia next year. If he can play three of the five Tests in each of those series, England will be very happy. They might even win a game!
Back in the year 2020, de Kock drives Wood confidently for three. Pretorius sees that stroke and raises it with a lovely drive for four. With a first-class average of 37.50, he’s a bit overqualified to beat at No9.
8.14am GMT
45th over: South Africa 100-7 (de Kock 33, Pretorius 7) Pretorius thumps Woakes through mid-off for four. And why not?
8.11am GMT
44th over: South Africa 95-7 (de Kock 33, Pretorius 2) Wood bowls a maiden to de Kock. Decent pace, mainly in the high 80s. He’ll be desperate for another five-for this morning.
“‘Internally I was buzzing but externally you’ve got to act cool, tap the pitch and stuff like that,’” says Abhijato Sensarma, quoting Mark Wood’s interview before play. “This reminds me of the time my club sent me out as a 10-year-old pinch-hitting opener. I was the youngest guy in the side and their regular No11. So when almost an hour later I was the last to be dismissed after making a stoic 20-something while all the adolescents collapsed at the other end, I received a thousand unlikely pats on my back for my batting. The opposition collapsed too, but eventually won with only a wicket to spare. It was terrible cricket, yet it was wonderful.”
8.07am GMT
43rd over: South Africa 95-7 (de Kock 33, Pretorius 2) South Africa are a mess. It’s sad to see, and also a little bewildering given how well they played in the first two Tests.
8.05am GMT
Chris Woakes will open the bowling, a nice reward for a high-class performance yesterday. And he needs only three balls to take the first wicket of the day! It was a poor delivery in truth, well outside leg stump, but Woakes won’t care. Philander tried to help it on its way, was through the shot too early and got a leading edge to mid-off.
8.01am GMT
42nd over: South Africa 88-6 (de Kock 32, Philander 0) Wood has one delivery remaining of his ninth over, having dismissed Nortje with the last ball of yesterday’s play. He bowls it to the new batsman Vernon Philander, who defends solidly.
7.51am GMT
Mark Wood makes the world a better place department
There’s a lovely interview with Wood and Stuart Broad on Sky right now.
7.40am GMT
Some pre-match reading
Related: Rampant Mark Wood revels in England impact after injury woes
3.14pm GMT
Morning. Even the pessimists think this is a done deal. England were so dominant yesterday that it’s hard to see anything other than a third consecutive victory. If that happens, it will be the first time since the 1954-55 Ashes that England have come from behind to win an overseas series 3-1.
Then, as now, one of the stars was an injury-prone fast bowler. Mark Wood doesn’t sledge people by quoting Wordsworth, as Frank Tyson did, but they do have the same appetite for destruction and ability to bowl in excess of 95mph. And although his record is nowhere near as good - Tyson averaged 18.56 from his 17 Tests - Wood’s performances since his recall in St Lucia last year have evoked the mythical devastation of Tyson in that Ashes series.
Continue reading...January 24, 2020
Eric Cantona and 'the hooligan': the impact of the kung-fu kick 25 years on
Twenty-five years have passed since Cantona launched himself into the crowd at Selhurst Park. It remains his best moment
By Rob Smyth for Nessun Dorma
Eric Cantona scored 82 goals for Manchester United. He won four league titles and two Doubles, and was a catalyst for the most successful period in the club’s history. None of that will keep him warmest in his dotage. “My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan.”
Cantona always refers to Matthew Simmons, with a delightful, absent-minded contempt, as “the hooligan”. It’s a neat way of dehumanising the gobby fan he dealt with when he tried to kick racism out of football on 25 January 1995. Twenty-five years later, the footage and images of his kung-fu kick retain an exhilarating power. It was the definitive example of what Alex Ferguson called Cantona’s “defiant charisma”. His defiance that night defined his career, and also his life.
Related: The target
Related: Eric Cantona: ‘Big democracies are, in a way, dictatorships’
Related: Nessun Dorma podcast: from Eric Cantona to Glenn Hoddle and Kenny G
Continue reading...South Africa v England: fourth Test, day one – as it happened
Zak Crawley and Dom Sibley became the first England openers to post a century stand in over three years but South Africa fought back
5.00pm GMT
From Vic …
Related: England falter against South Africa after flying start from Zak Crawley
4.59pm GMT
The last word, for now, goes to Geoff Wignall. “I take your points about Stokes [16:24],” he says, striking a welcome note of conciliation, “but if he didn’t want the four-run freebie or to take advantage of an umpiring error he could have chosen to leave/block the next ball. And I’m sure there are and have been plenty of sportsfolk every bit as competitive without the loutishness.”
Time for bed, said Zebedee.
4.50pm GMT
“Come on,” says Chris Bull. “Let’s at least wait until we have the full facts before we decide to spout forth on this incident. Firstly, what on earth did this ‘fan’ say to Stokes, if anything. Was it abusive? If it was, then one could have sympathy. I don’t personally agree with the idea that professional sportsman are fair game to be personally abused by ‘paying spectators’.
“People talking about lengthy bans really need to get a grip. And Geoff Wignall [16:24] clearly has some metaphorical myopia when it comes to Stokes. He did absolutely nothing unsporting in the WC final, how on earth could anyone think that is fair comment.”
4.47pm GMT
The Stokes story is being covered from the Wanderers by my colleague Chris Stocks.
4.36pm GMT
Play, by the way, has been called off. The day ends with honours just about even, but South Africa, I suspect, the happier of the two camps, and eyeing a win that would save face as well as the series.
Ollie Pope is in such good form that he could take it away from them tomorrow, as he did at the same stage of the last Test, and a fellow called Root could get a few too. But England are always breakable, as they’ve shown yet again this evening, and the pitch is offering bounce and movement to bowlers who can summon some intensity. Ben Stokes will probably take a five-for. Thanks for your company, your trenchant views and your fine turn of phrase.
Related: Ben Stokes facing disciplinary action after foul-mouthed altercation with fan
4.26pm GMT
Time for some light relief. “Just to clarify,” says Rory Dollard on Twitter, “some of Ben Stokes’ best friends wear glasses. Ask Jack Leach.”
4.24pm GMT
A tough line on Stokes from one of our regulars. “I appreciate this is probably a minority view,” says Geoff Wignall, “but I’m hoping fervently that Stokes is in line for a lengthy ban. As a fully fledged member of the Ben Stokes Not a Fan Club, I don’t much care how talented he is or how hard he works at his game. Street brawls and an absence of sportsmanship (as per the WC final) are bad enough but for me he should never have been near the England team after his social media abuse of a vulnerable, disabled teenager. His essential loutishness had been too well demonstrated over an extended period.”
Loutish, at times, yes. And no excuse for abuse of anyone. But was he unsporting in the World Cup final? I thought he tried not to take that four-run freebie. And I’m not sure it’s fair to discount his talent or his drive. They’re part of the package and with Stokes, even more than the average sportsman, you see a blur between his strengths and his weaknesses. The fire in the belly is apt to flare up into a blaze of fury.
4.13pm GMT
Ben Stokes is trending on Twitter. “Stokes should know that language like that is bad,” says Cosmos. “These days you simply cannot mock the myopic.”
4.08pm GMT
Ah, shame. They’re off for the light, which doesn’t seem all that bad, but then it’s hard to tell on the telly. That may well be that for the day. If so, it’s been a day of two sessions, and two halves: the afternoon belonged to England, the evening to South Africa. For the first time in a decade (thanks for the stat, Michael Anderson), England started their first innings with a hundred partnership; for the umpteenth time in any period you choose to mention, they collapsed. And Ben Stokes, so often the hero in the past year, may have become the villain after using some seriously bad language to a spectator.
4.01pm GMT
54th over: England 192-4 (Root 25, Pope 22) Pope cracks Philander square, and only gets a single for it. He’s been so positive, riding the wave of his good form.
Here’s more on that moment with Stokes, from the eagle-eared Mike Lyle, who heard Stokes “arguing with a fan” as he left the field. “He had barely stepped over the boundary rope when he said, ‘Come and say that that to me outside the ground, you fucking four-eyed cunt!’” Wow. If that is confirmed, it’s bad.
3.55pm GMT
53rd over: England 191-4 (Root 25, Pope 21) Root plays a cover push for a single which wouldn’t be worth describing if it were not the 500,000th run for England in Tests, a first for any country. It’s only taken them 143 years. Things get more interesting later in the over as Hendricks bowls a gem of a bouncer to Pope, jagging in and following him as he tries to sway out of the way. He ends up on his back, but smiling.
3.51pm GMT
52nd over: England 185-4 (Root 24, Pope 16) A single to each batsman off Philander, which may sound comfortable enough – except that Root’s comes off an inside edge into his groin. It’s been a bad day for the most sensitive part of a man’s anatomy.
3.47pm GMT
51st over: England 183-4 (Root 23, Pope 15) A few more singles. The commentators are chuntering because there are inviting gaps in the infield – the South African strategy feels like neither one thing nor the other, neither attacking nor defending. Still, it’s worked a treat since tea.
“Re: Hubert O’Hearn’s query (over 47),” says Jon Taylor, “all Test sides are prone to batting collapses, the difference is the terminology. When England collapse, we refer to it as ‘an embarrassing capitulation’. When our opponents collapse, we call it ‘an unplayable spell from Stuart Broad’.” Ha.
3.40pm GMT
50th over: England 180-4 (Root 22, Pope 13) Philander returns, to be treated with due respect by Pope, who picks up a single with a cut.
“I just switched onto the Sky coverage,” says Thomas Atkins. “Did I just see them accidentally playing and rewinding Stokes going up the tunnel and someone saying a very, very bad word indeed?” I suspect you did. I was a bit busy cursing myself as we’ve been having some technical troubles too.
3.36pm GMT
49th over: England 179-4 (Root 22, Pope 12) Root picks up a one and a two off Paterson. There are still, in theory, 16 overs to go tonight, which means we may well be going through to 6.30pm, or 4.30 in the UK.
“Oh Kim!” says Brian Withington (38th and 44th overs). “... Make that a howl of impending existential despair!”
3.30pm GMT
48th over: England 175-4 (Root 19, Pope 11) Pope shows his class with a dreamy straight drive for four off Nortje, followed by a merely commanding cover drive for two. If you didn’t know, you might think it was Pope, not Root, who had just reached 7500 runs in Tests.
3.26pm GMT
47th over: England 167-4 (Root 18, Pope 5) Root plays a front-foot pull, which might alarm Silverwood, but shows confidence in himself and the pitch, and gets him four.
“Only been following cricket about a year,” says Hubert O’Hearn on Twitter, “so this is honest, not trolling. Are England collapses, um, normal among Test sides? It’s like some strange vibration goes through them and cool, pro athletes all spasm. Like football’s Phil Jones.” Ha, yes. And like the man who was once the next Duncan Edwards, they do quite a lot of things very well in between.
3.23pm GMT
46th over: England 161-4 (Root 13, Pope 4) Ollie Pope, England’s new star, begins with some nice crisp leaves and then cashes in with a tuck through midwicket. That at least makes sure that not every batsman has made fewer than the one before, but the stark fact remains that, from Sibley to Stokes, England lost four wickets for 50 in 12.3 overs.
3.18pm GMT
Stokes slashes at a full fast ball from Nortje, angled across him, and van der Dussen takes another cool calm catch. Ladies and gentlemen, out of nowhere, we have a good old England collapse.
3.16pm GMT
45th over: England 157-3 (Root 13, Stokes 2) Stokes, also watchful, blocks a few from Paterson before taking a single, which is his 1000th run against South Africa – a quarter of them in one innings.
3.11pm GMT
44th over: England 156-3 (Root 13, Stokes 1) Root, who’s been watchful, tries to get out of the way of a snorter from Nortje and ends up edging it for four. That was the opposite of playing-and-missing: leaving-and-hitting.
“I see Kim Thonger’s faux pessimism,” says Brian Withington, “and raise him a nervous chuckle.”
3.06pm GMT
43rd over: England 152-3 (Root 9, Stokes 1) I wonder if Denly, seeing Crawley and Sibley do so well, decided that the blocker he’s been for the past year was suddenly no longer needed. He ended up playing the sort of top-three innings Trevor Bayliss believed in and Chris Silverwood doesn’t.
3.02pm GMT
Gone! Third time unlucky for Denly as he fences at a good ball from Paterson and gives a straightforward catch to first slip. He finishes with a very typical Denly score, made in a very untypical way.
2.59pm GMT
42nd over: England 149-2 (Denly 27, Root 7) Another stroke of luck for Denly, who goes back to Nortje when he should be forward and gets away with a squirt through the vacant third slip. He then pulls, expansively, and is dropped again – this time at midwicket, a hard chance that leaves Dwaine Pretorius nursing a sore finger.
2.55pm GMT
41st over: England 142-2 (Denly 21, Root 6) Denly clearly has a plane to catch. He cover-drives Paterson for four, glides for two, then inside-edges for four more. His strike rate today is 72 per hundred balls, as against 39 in the rest of his Test career.
2.49pm GMT
40th over: England 131-2 (Denly 10, Root 6) Undeterred, Denly cracks Philander for four off the back foot, then takes a single to slip into double figures, as he has done every time he’s batted in this series. Michael Holding has some advice for the bowlers: “Get him coming forward – he’s a lot more uncertain.”
2.44pm GMT
39th over: England 125-2 (Denly 5, Root 5) That said, it’s good to see Denly going for his shots. He’s going to keep getting out for 30 if he just comes to the party as a stone wall.
2.43pm GMT
Denly, facing Paterson, goes for another ambitious square drive, off the front foot this time, and Malan at point makes a great attempt to cling on, diving to his right.
2.41pm GMT
38th over: England 122-2 (Denly 4, Root 3) Better from Denly, who waits for the top of the bounce, off Philander, and plays a handsome back-foot drive for three.
“Would you regard me as overconfident,” asks Kim Thonger, “if I say I think that England have a decent chance of getting to 200 before they are all out?” The experts at Sporting Index have England down for something in the 380s. They could do with a Thonger.
2.36pm GMT
37th over: England 118-2 (Denly 1, Root 2) Denly, who always looks such a natural strokeplayer, has somehow found a way of becoming a barnacle. He blocks and blocks as Hendricks probes, and would be gone if du Plessis had posted a short leg.
Meanwhile Jon Sen has spotted something.“Just noticed from the link you shared [30th over] that in the FoW, Cricinfo refer to ‘Sir Alistair Cook’, which is somehow comforting and totally appropriate for the man, as is the stand we’ve just witnessed.” So, which are you expecting first – Sir Zak or Sir Dom?
2.31pm GMT
36th over: England 117-2 (Denly 1, Root 1) So the young openers finally show their inexperience by getting out, to ordinary deliveries, in quick succession. One more wicket and South Africa will be right back in this. Not that Faf seems to realise it: he greets Joe Root with a cover sweeper, when he should surely have a second gully.
2.28pm GMT
Just when he was looking so good, Crawley goes and blows it with a pointless waft at the first ball of a new spell by Philander, and gives a simple catch to first slip. That cluster of wickets may be under way.
2.25pm GMT
35th over: England 116-1 (Crawley 66, Denly 1) Hendricks decides that the short ball which did for Sibley is worth another go, and Crawley pulls it, off the front foot, for four. Coming after all those mistimed pulls, that may well be the shot of the day.
2.22pm GMT
34th over: England 110-1 (Crawley 61, Denly 1) Denly gets off the mark with a nudge to leg off Paterson, while Crawley keeps cruising along with a couple of singles. And Philander, shying at the stumps, manages to hit Paterson in the small of the back, which rather sums up South Africa’s day so far. To my untrained eye, this pitch is like a quicker version of Headingley – there’s plenty in it for everyone, and you could well see wickets falling in clusters.
2.16pm GMT
33rd over: England 107-1 (Crawley 59, Denly 0) Joe Denly starts as he means to go on, with a couple of leaves. Can he see his Kent team-mate to a first Test hundred?
2.15pm GMT
The breakthrough! Hendricks digs it in, from round the wicket, and Sibley, fencing, can only nick it down the legside. That’s Hendricks’ first test wicket, and a rather bathetic end to a fine opening stand.
2.11pm GMT
32nd over: England 106-0 (Crawley 58, Sibley 44) Faf du Plessis goes back to Dane Paterson, who was the best of the bowlers this morning, not that it’s saying much. He starts tidily before handing Sibley a gimme, too short and wide of off. “When you’ve got Sibley scoring behind square,” says Shaun Pollock, “you know you’ve missed your areas.”
2.06pm GMT
31st over: England 102-0 (Crawley 58, Sibley 40) Beuran Hendricks reopens the proceedings and immediately beats Crawley, who flashes at a back-of-a-length ball outside off. Faced with a similar delivery later in the over, he pulls for a single, showing again that he’s not the type to be once beaten, twice shy.
2.02pm GMT
A good question from Eddy Richards, to go with a cup of tea. “Have England gone from zero openers to three in the space of a couple of months? In the interests of irony, no doubt we’ll suddenly lose all our all-rounders!”
1.50pm GMT
30th over: England 100-0 (Crawley 57, Sibley 39) Crawley takes a single off Nortje, and Sibley clips for four through square leg to bring up the hundred partnership. That’s lunch – a suitable way to round off a dream of a session for England, and their first opening stand of a hundred in 70 Test innings, since Cook and Jennings found a decent response to India scoring 750 just over three long years ago. It’s been a case of Sibley, Crawley, quickly but surely. See you shortly.
1.44pm GMT
29th over: England 95-0 (Crawley 56, Sibley 35) As if a blow to the groin wasn’t bad enough, Sibley is in some discomfort against Hendricks. The left-arm-over angle has him falling over to the off side, which leads to an LBW shout (not out, pitching outside leg) and then a near-yorking as Sibley trips himself up. With feet like that, he could get a game for Manchester United.
1.38pm GMT
28th over: England 89-0 (Crawley 56, Sibley 29) After several minutes, Crawley takes a new helmet from Jonny Bairstow and re-enters the fray. I do hope he’s all right. Nortje greets him with another bouncer, in the great tradition of the nasty fasty, but it’s so high that it’s called a wide.
Meanwhile Ian Forth has a thought about England’s sudden surplus of top-order batsmen. “Though Denly has been admirable in the last year, I wonder if he is the most likely to give way, given age and limitations, leaving a Sibley, Burns, Crawley top 3 for the next few years. Of course, it could easily be Jennings, Hameed, Duckett in a year’s time - what do I know?”
1.30pm GMT
Mid-28th over: England 88-0 (Crawley 56, Sibley 29) At last, a well-aimed bouncer from SA, bowled by the pacey Nortje. It’s rather too well-aimed for Crawley, who plays a hook, misses, and takes a blow flush on the helmet, above his eyes. He’s still standing, and seems OK, but there’s a delay for the usual concussion tests.
“You seem to be forgetting,” says Paul Haynes, “that most of us have no access to viewing the cricket, which is why we follow it via your live reporting. Exciting cricket is terrible, as we non-viewers are missing out on the action, but if it’s a bit boring, then the investment of refreshing or checking every 10 minutes gets a fair return. A boring century is thus better for the OBO enthusiast who doesn’t need to watch it. Personally, apart from the 2019 World Cup final, I haven’t seen a game of cricket since 2005!” That is quite a record.
1.23pm GMT
27th over: England 88-0 (Crawley 56, Sibley 29) Beuran Hendricks returns after making a decent start to his Test career with the new ball. But he too comes bearing gifts – a half-volley which Crawley punches back past him with great confidence, and a short one which Crawley can’t quite time or place. If he had played the pull as crisply as the drive, he’d be on 80 by now.
1.20pm GMT
26th over: England 83-0 (Crawley 51, Sibley 29) A couple of singles off Nortje, whose over ends with Sibley taking a nip-backer in the groin. He winces, and the whole world winces with him.
1.15pm GMT
25th over: England 81-0 (Crawley 50, Sibley 28) Sibley celebrates his mate’s landmark with an on-drive for four as Pretorius gets too floaty again. One of the hopeful signs for this new-look England is the pleasure they take in each other’s achievements. Sibley and Crawley will soon be competing for one slot as Burns’s opening partner, but they’re not letting that get in the way of the team’s interests.
1.10pm GMT
Zak Crawley goes to his first Test fifty with a single to backward point off Pretorius. It was a leading edge, so perhaps his worst shot of the day. More importantly, he has nine fours and “has got his tempo spot-on,” as Nasser says. And he won’t be 22 till next week.
1.08pm GMT
24th over: England 75-0 (Crawley 49, Sibley 23) Nortje goes wide on the crease and beats Sibley, poking uncertainly at a lifter. When you see Sibley play outside off stump, you wonder how on earth he managed to score a Test century.
1.05pm GMT
23rd over: England 74-0 (Crawley 49, Sibley 23) And... ACTION! Pretorius, who has at least been frugal so far, suddenly hands out some freebies. Crawley thumps one half-volley through the covers, another past midwicket, and a third back past the bowler. The second one took Crawley to 45, his highest Test score. He just keeps going up, so no wonder he likes it at altitude.
“Over 18, Dane and Dwaine bowling together...” says Dan Silk. “Please say they’re bowling dibbly-dobblies? At the very least we need Dwaine’s Dibbly.”
1.01pm GMT
22nd over: England 62-0 (Crawley 37, Sibley 23) Back comes Anrich Nortje, after a bad start and a stint on the Nortje step. He does better, stringing a few dots together and then squeezing a semi-false stroke out of Sibley, who fends awkwardly close to gully and gets a streaky four.
“I’m sure,” says Alan Shillitoe, “there’s a Red Dwarf joke to be had from Dwaine-Sibley somewhere, but I can’t quite find it!”
12.56pm GMT
21st over: England 57-0 (Crawley 36, Sibley 19) An edge! As Paterson bowls Crawley something resembling a leg-cutter, and it doesn’t carry to slip. Both the ball, and the stroke, could have been flown in from Port Elizabeth. Crawley then takes another single with a pull, to round off the most exciting over I’ve covered today.
12.53pm GMT
20th over: England 56-0 (Crawley 35, Sibley 19) Another single for Crawley. That’s 19 off the last ten overs, following 37 off the first 10. We may have a new world record time for a Test match going to sleep.
And here’s Kim Thonger. “I see Brian Withington’s sentimental moment earlier about life-affirming cover drives [10th over] and raise him John Arlott’s description of Clive Lloyd’s ‘murderous hitting’, which John likened to ‘a man knocking a thistle top with a walking stick.’ Anyone who has been on a country walk in England in the summer and not daydreamed about Clive Lloyd’s strokeplay, while gaily clubbing innocent thistles to death, has not lived.”
12.48pm GMT
19th over: England 55-0 (Crawley 34, Sibley 19) Paterson gets away with a half-tracker to Crawley, who can only help it round the corner for a single. SA have managed to dry up the scoring, but what they really need is a wicket.
12.46pm GMT
18th over: England 54-0 (Crawley 33, Sibley 19) A change at the other end as Pretorius replaces Philander. It’s a maiden, to Sibley, but more interestingly we have a Dane and a Dwaine bowling together. And neither has a middle name.
12.40pm GMT
17th over: England 54-0 (Crawley 33, Sibley 19) Faf sticks with Dane Paterson, who has been doing Philander’s job for him, landing the ball on a length. But now he drops short and Zak Crawley cashes in with a cut for four. Paterson responds well, with a jaffa that goes just past the outside edge. England could easily be 44 for three.
12.35pm GMT
Thanks Rob, afternoon everyone. Well, this is a funny one – two rookie openers finding it easy against the great Vernon Philander on his favourite surface. Perhaps he’s got something in his eye.
12.32pm GMT
That’s it from me. Tim de Lisle will be with you for the rest of the day – you can email him on tim.delisle.casual@theguardian.com or tweet @TimdeLisle. Thanks for your company, bye!
12.31pm GMT
16th over: England 50-0 (Crawley 29, Sibley 19) Sibley plays the shot of the day so far, driving Philander emphatically to the left of mid-on for four. The next delivery hits the seam and snaps past the outside edge. A good comeback from Philander, but the first hour and a bit belonged to England. That’s drinks.
12.26pm GMT
15th over: England 44-0 (Crawley 29, Sibley 13) A rare loose stroke from Crawley, who fishes outside off at Paterson and is beaten. He knew it was a nothing shot before he had finished playing it. A maiden.
12.23pm GMT
14th over: England 44-0 (Crawley 29, Sibley 13) England’s openers have been able to leave a lot of deliveries with confidence, which is unusual against Philander in particular.
12.18pm GMT
13th over: England 42-0 (Crawley 28, Sibley 12) Dane Paterson replaces Anrich Nortje, whose two overs were slapped for 16 by Zak Crawley. He finds a bit of movement away from Crawley, who is content to let everything pass outside off stump. He’s played seriously well so far.
“Greetings Rob,” says Sam. “Wondering what your thoughts are on Burns’ return once fit? Crawley looks okay to me (cue mockers) and should he have a decent tour in Sri Lanka he could cause a few headaches around the selection table. Full disclosure, I’m a big fan of Burns. I’d actually have him as skipper and allow Root his head. Whaddyareckon?”
12.15pm GMT
12th over: England 42-0 (Crawley 28, Sibley 12) Vernon Philander returns for his second spell, this time at the other end - and Sibley is caught off a no-ball. Oh, Vern. It was the correct decision, bravely called on the field by Joel Wilson.
Related: Swardeston’s European dream comes true with place in continental league
12.10pm GMT
11th over: England 41-0 (Crawley 28, Sibley 12) Crawley plays another superb stroke, clipping Nortje between midwicket and mid-on for four. Even after 11 overs, South Africa urgently need a wicket.
12.06pm GMT
10th over: England 37-0 (Crawley 24, Sibley 12) Hendricks moves round the wicket in an attempt to make Sibley play at more deliveries. He achieves that but not much else. South Africa are struggling here. The pitch is doing much less than expected.
“Rob,” says Brian Withington, “Call me a sentimental old git, but isn’t there something life-affirmingly wonderful about watching (and hearing) genuine cover drives by the likes of young Crawley and Pope?”
12.01pm GMT
9th over: England 37-0 (Crawley 24, Sibley 12) Anrich Nortje replaces Vernon Philander, who bowled a surprisingly tame opening spell of 4-0-12-0. The impressive Crawley crumps his first delivery through midwicket for four - and then drives the fourth ball emphatically to the cover boundary. As England opening batsmen go, he’s very watchable. This has been an almost perfect start for England.
11.56am GMT
8th over: England 25-0 (Crawley 13, Sibley 11) “I could watch Curtly bowl all day,” says Chris Drew. “Watch as in from a long way away.”
11.54am GMT
South Africa thought he had given a catch behind when he flicked at a delivery outside leg stump from Hendricks. The umpire Joel Wilson agreed, but Sibley reviewed straight away and replays showed he didn’t touch it.
11.53am GMT
ENGLAND REVIEW! Sibley has been given out caught behind off Hendricks.
11.50am GMT
7th over: England 21-0 (Crawley 12, Sibley 8) Crawley has punched some handsome drives off Philander, which is either brave or foolhardy. I’ll let you know in a couple of hours’ time. Thus far he has batted with eyecatching authority, and he gets his second boundary with a dismissive extra-cover drive.
11.46am GMT
6th over: England 15-0 (Crawley 6, Sibley 8) Sibley gurns as Hendricks runs in to bowl: short, slightly wide and forced through backward point for four. Good shot. South Africa have bowled far too short this morning, Hendricks in particular, and that has helped England get off to an encouraging start. These six overs have surely confirmed that it’s a case of when, not if, England usurp India as the world’s No1 Test team.
“Looking forward to seeing how Root does against the debutant bowler,” begins Matt Dony, sniggering at a punchline he hasn’t even delivered yet. “Hopefully there’ll be a bit of chat on the pitch. I think we all want to hear ‘Hey, Joe’ from Hendricks. I’m here all week. Try the Koeksister.”
11.42am GMT
5th over: England 11-0 (Crawley 6, Sibley 4) By Philander’s immaculate standards, this has been a slightly loose opening spell. He pitches one up to Crawley, who laces a sweet drive through mid-off for four. Crawley has started beautifully, both in defence and attack.
Great to hear Darren Gough refer to Philander as “Big Vern”. pic.twitter.com/tRRRtXwuj0
11.38am GMT
4th over: England 7-0 (Crawley 2, Sibley 4) That’s better from Hendricks, a fuller delivery that beats Sibley outside off stump. There’s decent carry in this pitch, which can sometimes seduce people into bowling too short. Better to bowl what Sir Curtly Ambrose called the Perth-fect length.
11.35am GMT
Here’s more on the news that Jofra Archer failed a fitness test this morning
Related: Jofra Archer misses fourth Test for England after elbow injury flares up
11.33am GMT
3rd over: England 7-0 (Crawley 2, Sibley 4) Crawley leaves a ball from Philander that snaps off the seam to hit him on the pad. It was a safe enough leave on length, though the seam movement may unnerve the England openers. A better over from Philander, who is getting closer to off stump. Crawley’s defensive strokes were also very positive.
This is another great spot from an ersthwhile OBOer.
Beuran Hendricks is South Africa's fifth debutant of the series and, at 29, the youngest of the five
11.29am GMT
2nd over: England 6-0 (Crawley 2, Sibley 4) The left-arm seamer Beuran Hendricks, making his Test debut, will share the new ball on his home ground. He’s a little short, for the most part, and Sibley gets going with a flick off the hip for four.
Meanwhile, this is a good point from Chris Parker: both Dom Bess and Keshav Maharaj have been dropped despite taking five-fors in the last Test. I wonder when that last happened.
11.25am GMT
1st over: England 1-0 (Crawley 1, Sibley 0) Crawley drags an inside-edge through square leg to get England off the mark. Sibley then survives a big shout for LBW after pushing outside the line of a nice nipbacker. It was far too high, and Faf du Plessis had no interest in a review.
“I can’t help but feel England are asking for a little bit of trouble with their selection today,” says James Matthews. “Yes, it’s a fast track (by all accounts), but with Wood not having played back to back tests for 18 months and Stokes’ workload already being mountainous, they could find themselves ruing the lack of Dom Bess to hold down an end for 35 overs and give the seamers a breather. Yes, Root’s bowling is improved, but he’s nonetheless far from being a frontline spin option.”
11.21am GMT
Here we go. Vernon Philander to Zak Crawley.
11.18am GMT
I think England have made the right decision at the toss, but batting will not be easy this afternoon. There should be enough nip and carry for Vernon Philander to be a handful.
11.10am GMT
“Joe Root has confirmed that Joe Root will be unavailable?” sniffs Robert Darby.
Sorry, I had Joe Root on the brain. I’ve changed it now to the correct name, Martin McCague.
11.05am GMT
Both teams have gone in with five seamers and no full-time spinner. Joe Root confirms that Jofra Archer is unavailable because of his elbow problem, so England make only one change: Chris Woakes for Dom Bess.
South Africa bring in the left-arm seamer Beuran Hendricks for his Test debut, one of three changes from the team that lost at Port Elizabeth. Temba Bavuma and Dwaine Pretorius return, with Zubayr Hamza, Keshav Maharaj and the suspended Kagiso Rabada missing out.
11.02am GMT
Joe Root cites the cracks in this pitch, and his unsuccessful decision to bowl first at Centurion, as the main reasons for batting first. “I banked on losing the toss,” says Faf du Plessis, who has now lost seven in a row. He says he would probably have bowled first.
10.58am GMT
I really would be tempted to just give up on all this. My opinion is he's been very badly handled, both physically and in the way England people talk about him, as though he's some alien outsider
10.49am GMT
Play will start at 1.20pm local time (11.20am GMT), with the toss at 1pm.
10.48am GMT
While we’re down the YouTube rabbit hole...
10.46am GMT
The pitch Nasser Hussain reckons this is “just a bat-first pitch, but I wouldn’t mind losing the toss”.
10.45am GMT
Now this is great
10.35am GMT
Jofra Archer is close to tears at the Wanderers. You don’t need a GCSE in body language to know he has either been left out or, more likely, his elbow injury has flared up.
All the signs are that Jofra Archer is out. He was bowling seriously quick in the run-up to this Test but something seems to have happened this morning
10.31am GMT
FFS department
Is Jofra Archer in trouble here? Had a lengthy chat with team doctor Anita Biswas just now...
10.30am GMT
Jofra Archer is now bowling on the outfield along with Mark Wood. It seems England are going to play five seamers, which would reduce the risk of playing both Archer and Wood. I hope they pick both; the opportunity might never arise again.
10.17am GMT
Weather permitting, play should start around 1.20pm (11.20am GMT). And Mark Wood might be in the England team after all.
The only England cricketer warming up on the outfield at the moment is Mark Wood. Chris Silverwood is watching closely
10.08am GMT
There will be another inspection at 12.45pm local time, 10.45am in the UK.
9.38am GMT
There will be a pitch inspection at midday in Johannesburg, 10am UK time.
9.30am GMT
The internet
You and us both! https://t.co/9cLedvmaIp
9.26am GMT
Meanwhile, in the BBL, Alex Hales is on one.
9.22am GMT
Great news from the Bullring! The rain has stopped & ground staff are working hard to give us a match as soon as possible. #SAvENG pic.twitter.com/1Icm9HBn24
The outfield is still pretty wet. But if there’s no more rain - and that’s an iffy if - I suspect we’ll get play within a couple of hours.
9.20am GMT
“Hello Rob,” says Geoff Wignall. “Much as I enjoy your OBOs, getting paid to sit in London to watch it rain in Johannesburg, while engaging in online chat largely focused on fantasy, reminiscence and hope doesn’t add great weight to all the ‘please give the Guardian some money’ popups. (I know - it’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta ...) Not that I’m in any way jealous.”
Even an OBO writer needs to eat, and bread ‘n’ spread doesn’t come cheap these days. Maybe I should start my own blog for OBOs and 20,000-word pieces on B&H Cup games from the 1990s. Never mind the brand, just give me £10 a year.
9.15am GMT
If there is play today, it’ll be fascinating to see what happens at the toss. I’m sure South Africa will bowl, as it gives them the best chance of winning the game. England only need a draw, however, so they’ll be tempted to take the less risky option of batting first.
9.10am GMT
“Knee deep in Derrida at the moment so writing bigly on the transcendental signified,” says Pete Salmon. “Feel like that’s what Hameed is for England now - that thing outside the system that allows the system to function. In this case an imagined future world-beating English team, which always features him. Was it Baudelaire who wrote ‘God is the only being who, in order to rule, does not even need to exist’? I think it was.”
9.05am GMT
Well I never department
The covers are coming off at the Wanderers...
8.55am GMT
It was different in those days, part 313214235234982349238
This’s week Spin, written by Simon Burnton, is a cracking read on England’s first Test tour - the trip to Australia in 1876-77.
Related: The Spin | England’s first Test tour: death, brawling, betting and cross-dressing
8.44am GMT
“Remember when West Brom had that run of managers - Johnny, Ronnie, John, Ron, Ronnie, Ron, Johnny, Nobby, Ron, Ron?” asks Ian Forth. “First Test Australia 2021: Denly, Roy, Vince, Root, Bairstow, Buttler, Archer, Anderson, Leach, Ball, Ormond. Or, if you prefer: Joe, Jason, James, Joe, Jonny, Jos, Jofra, Jimmy, Jack, Jake, Jimmy. I mean, Jimmy Ormond might need to get into some light training next week, but I’ve seen worse teams take the field in Brisbane.”
8.44am GMT
“If you’re very bored during the rain break,” says Steve Pye, “I wondered if this might interest you. It’s an old blog of mine on the Silk Cut Challenge for all rounders that took place between 1984-87. An interesting concept, it might not have answered the debate regarding who was the best all rounder in the game during the 80s, but it certainly made World of Sport a bit more exciting.”
You had me at ‘old blog’. Who says you can’t give an old blog new hits?
8.37am GMT
“I like the look of your fantasy England team,” says Andrew Cosgrove. “I was surprised to see that Michael Holding qualifies for England now. I would have thought he was getting on a bit, but that presumably accounts for him bowling spin now.”
8.23am GMT
“Morning Rob,” says David Horn. “I love that you still hold on to the notion of the wonderfully poised, elegant, wise-beyond-his-years Hameed opening the batting too. I share similar dreams. I’m hoping that his new county turn him into some kind of Kloppian mentality monster and he bangs out the centuries all through April. Any word on where/how he is wintering? Part of my fantasy is that he’s racking up runs in Sydney grade cricket and then putting out bush fires after close of play.”
None at all, I’m afraid, but I can exclusively revel that he turned 23 last week, so he has plenty of time. At that age, I hadn’t even made my Test debut.
8.12am GMT
No news is bad news Nothing to report. There will be no play before lunch, and possibly none at all today.
In other news, this looks good.
As Australian Cricket faced its greatest test, the world was watching.
You know where this story goes. Find out what it took to get there.#TheTestAmazon streaming March 12 on #AmazonPrimeVideo. pic.twitter.com/KPBuf4t14B
7.35am GMT
Conditions in Johannesburg are very 1999. If there is any play today, both captains will be tempted to bowl first.
Related: The Spin | Remembering when South Africa reduced England to two for four | Rob Smyth
7.33am GMT
Rory Burns is in the Sky studio, his moon boot hidden under the table. He’s such a personable bloke; I reckon he’ll be a good pundit.
7.29am GMT
While it's chucking it down in Johannesburg here's something with Stuart Broad for @guardian_sport on his future and potentially playing another Ashes series https://t.co/fYGPi6XHSj
7.25am GMT
“Morning Rob, morning all,” says Matt Turland. “This England team provides that one thing that fills me with dread: hope. We have the makings of a solid top 3 (+ a bonus spare player) in Burns, Sibley, Crawley and Denly. Our middle order (the supposed best aspect of this team for a few years now) is actually ‘delivering’ with Root, Stokes and only-just-started-so-don’t-put-too-much-pressure-on-him Pope. And the bowlers have variety in both style and experience. Thankfully, spinner and wicketkeeper still cause a few issues so I can’t completely give in to the seductive bestest team ever vibe just yet.”
They are still a long way from having a team that can win a Test in India or Australia, never mind a series, but I agree that these are hopeful times. What’s not to love about watching young players have the time of their lives?
7.20am GMT
“Good morning, Rob,” says Eva Maaten. “well, if the England team hasn’t yet left the hotel, we don’t need to leave our house, 10 minutes away from the Wanderers Stadium, either... Still raining here, it doesn’t look as if it will clear up within the next few minutes. We have our cool bag with provisions ready and are poised to rush out at the first glimpse of the sun. Once the weather gets its act together, it should be a great match - always a wonderful atmosphere at the Bullring.”
And usually a cracking pitch.
7.12am GMT
The word on the street is that both teams will leave out their spinner. And it sounds like England will bring in Chris Woakes and Jofra Archer for Dom Bess and Mark Wood, who has been stiff and sore since his exertions in the third Test. When the match does finally begin around teatime tomorrow, it could be a thrilling dogfight.
7.10am GMT
This is a brilliant piece on the retiring Vernon Philander
The art of subtle. My tribute to @VDP_24 ahead of his last Test. #SAvENG https://t.co/bt3Vey7KJn
7.05am GMT
Weatherwatch The match was scheduled to start at 8am our time, 10am in Jo’burg, but that isn’t going to happen. The England team haven’t left the hotel yet.
6.50am GMT
Good morning and welcome to live coverage of the fourth and final Test between South Africa and England at the Wanderers in Johannesburg. Since England won the third Test on Monday, my subconscious has been shoving one particular TV scene to the front my mind. It’s from The Thick of It special Spinners and Losers, in which the prime minister unexpectedly resigns and everyone starts spinning.
Jamie, the other maniacal Scotsman, picks the absurd Cliff Lawton as his stalking horse. When word gets out and he is ridiculed, Jamie, with recourse to a popular four-letter word, tells Cliff that he’s not going to be prime minister – or, for that matter, anything else.
Raining in Johannesburg at the moment with a rather mixed forecast for the first few days I’m afraid. #bbccricket #SAvENG pic.twitter.com/rzd3DSU1SM
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