Rob Smyth's Blog, page 119

South Africa v England: second Test, day four – live!

Live updates from Newlands, 8.30am (GMT) start
Sibley is what England’s top order has needed for yearsFeel free to email Tanya or tweet @TJAldred your thoughts

9.39am GMT

95th over: England 307-4 (Sibley 104, Stokes 70) Memories flooding back of Stokes’s double hundred he gathered four years ago as he clobbers Maharaj with a wide-legged reverse sweep, a smash through mid-wicket and a stick-that-up-your-jumper casual six. Brutal.

9.35am GMT

94th over: England 294-4 (Sibley 104, Stokes 55) Three off Rabada, and that’s drinks and the morning has gone better than England could have dreamt. South Africa, ye gods, have not had such a good morning. A special mention here to all those county cricket readers who have been championing Sibley for two or three years, and to him for churning out those hundreds for Warwickshire - it is his Championship performances that got him picked for England, no hunch, no admiration of his Vince-like flair.

9.31am GMT

91st over: England 289-4 (Sibley 103, Stokes 54) Yes! Sibley sweeps Maharaj for four - such panache! He pumps the air, pulls off his helmet to reveal the broadest of smiles, gets a big hug from Ben Stokes, kisses the badge, and on the balcony everyone is standing and smiling, Sam Curran leaps in the air. What a cracking innings, playing to his strengths, doing it for the team. From Surrey to Warwickshire to England - here’s to many , many more. The first century of the series too.

9.26am GMT

90th over: England 282-4 (Sibley 99, Stokes 50) And that’s the Ben Stokes 50 with a touch behind square and the Dom Sibley 99 as he edges Rabada, not completely convincingly, down to the boundary and on the England balcony everyone is smiling. Come on Dom!

A lovely email from David Murray. What a morning! An England win in prospect and suddenly 3 or 4 choices for the-future-of-England cricket (Sibley, Pope, Crawley, Burns).

9.21am GMT

89th over: England 277-4 (Sibley 95, Stokes 49) Stokes is seeing the new ball like a new year’s resolution he needs to finish off, he reverse-sweeps Maharaj with such quick, loose hands. It is Jack Spratt and his Mrs Spratt out there in the middle for England but, oh, such a perfect combination. Especially with all the Christmas leftovers to finish off.

9.18am GMT

88th over: England 272-4 (Sibley 94, Stokes 45) Oh dear, nothing going for South Africa this morning. Stokes pulls Rabada high and a sprinting de Koch calls for it, he must cover 50 yards sprinting down towards fine leg, but then muffs the (difficult) chance. Stokes rubs salt into the wound by rocking back onto his heels, rolling his wrists and slamming a juicy full toss back over the boundary next ball. And that’s the fifty partnership of which Stokes has scored 45! And now Sibley gets in on the act with a nicely played boundary through the covers.

Charles Shedrick writes:

9.10am GMT

87th over: England 261-4 (Sibley 90, Stokes 38 ) Sibley enters the 90s with a prosaic two off Maharaj into the leg side. It takes some mental strength to just plod away while a cartoon hero throws the bat at the other end.

Michael Anderson, you’re my hero

9.08am GMT

87th over: England 259-4 (Sibley 88, Stokes 38 ) Philander trundels in and for no apparent reason turns carthorse as Stokes climbs into his farmyard galoshes and throws the bat for fours through backward point and square leg and runs any old place his can slam them. The England lead passes 300.

9.02am GMT

86th over: England 247-4 (Sibley 87, Stokes 27) Maharaj is kept on with the new ball. Sibley almost in trouble from one round the wicket that spins past the outside of his prodding bat. He looks a little leaden footed, but survives. It’s dusty out there.

@tjaldred MTMA. When do you think England should think about declaring this morning? Before tea, or do they wait for Sibley to get his hundred?

8.59am GMT

85th over: England 246-4 (Sibley 87, Stokes 26) And we have the new ball at last, after that expensive experiment, in the rightful mitts of Vernon Philander bowling from the Wynberg end to restore some order. Sibley with that dot-to-dot stubble perfection prods the pitch to see out a maiden. Norje, incidentally, is back on the pitch.

Tom! Tom! I hope you’re still reading... a message to cheer up your Monday:

8.54am GMT

84th over: England 246-4 (Sibley 87, Stokes 26) Just a massive Stokes six, down on one knee, thanks very much, straight bat, straight legs, gorgeous. Maharaj get the better of him later in the over when a ball spins out of a huge puff of dust - more good news for England.

8.50am GMT

83rd over: England 236-4 (Sibley 87, Stokes 16) That could be the end of the no ball. Ben Stokes decides to get his eye in by destroying Pretorius’s morning confidence with a six farted straight back whence it came, followed by a reverse switch for four. He’s got the bit between his teeth this morning, don’t go anywhere.

8.47am GMT

83rd over: England 225-4 (Sibley 87, Stokes 5)

8.45am GMT

82nd over: England 223-4 (Sibley 85, Stokes 5) A disdainful swat from Ben Stokes dispatches Pretorius for the first boundary of the day. Still with the old ball here, apparently Anrich Nortje is not on the field, sick.

An email pops up from Tom Bowtell entitled “exciting Philander Stat.”

8.40am GMT

81st over: England 219-4 (Sibley 85, Stokes 1) Ok, so that wasn’t the last over with the old ball. du Plessis gives Maharaj a go from the other end. It was nearly a seven ball over actually as the umpire lost count of how many balls Maharaj had bowled. Not sure if they still transfer pebbles from hand to hand to count the over out. Just a single to Stokes with a sweep behind square

8.36am GMT

80th over: England 218-4 (Sibley 85, Stokes 0) Dwaine Pretorius bowls a last over with the old ball, Dom Sibley is watchful. A maiden. A few hazy clouds float above Table Mountain but the sky is blue and the temperature a blissful 22 degrees.

John Starbuck has been musing in Yorkshire:

8.30am GMT

The players are on their way out, Dom Sibley has a new batting partner in Ben Stokes.

8.26am GMT

A pre-start email! Hi Danny Outram.

Whilst it was refreshing to see Dom Sibley’s long drawn out openers innings, I hear time and time again that it is the duty of the openers to take the ‘bite’ out of the new ball and allow the lower order batsman to get their eye in with a scuffed cherry that has less zip to it. Therefore would it have not been better had Sibley given away his wicket 10 overs ago?

8.21am GMT

Interesting interview with Graham Thorpe, England’s batting coach . He talks about the simplicity of Dom Sibley’s technique. Says he said to him, there’s time to talk about the areas of where to develop your game but when you’re in the heat of the battle keep doing what you do. Important to work on his technique outside off stump but without getting into his head too much.

8.08am GMT

Vic Marks was on the radio this morning and saying that this is the first time England have ever played four players under 23 in the same match. I’m not doubting Vic’s stats, but can this really be true?

Anyway, it looks a beautiful day at Newlands. Shaun Pollock is in a suit and Mike Atherton and Ian Ward are in shirt sleeves. Ward’s hand is in his pocket, of course. The only other person I’ve noticed with such a pocket obsession is Aussie PM Scott Morrison. Apparently whereas in England you need overcast conditions to move the ball about, in South Africa the heat bakes the pitch a bit and the edges come up and it jags around. That’s the science bit. South Africa have this morning to try and keep in the game with the new ball.

7.55am GMT

And Sachin Tendulkar follows where Virat Kohli dared to tread:

“Spinners look forward to bowling with the scruffed ball, taking advantage on day five of the roughs created on the wickets.”

7.52am GMT

Nice gesture here by Shane Warne:

Please bid here https://t.co/kZMhGkmcxs pic.twitter.com/ZhpeWQxqY7

7.51am GMT

It’s all over at the SCG. Another century for David Warner, five wickets for Nathan Lyon and, as crackle follows snap, Australia claimed all five Tests of the summer inside four days for the first time.

9.04pm GMT

Good morning! It’s all a bit back-to-work-Monday here in the UK, but over in Cape Town England have been busy putting in the hard yards all weekend thanks very much. Dom Sibley, England’s answer to Desperate Dan, has, in between lunging awkwardly and munching cow pie, done what England’s team of cavaliers has been desperate for someone to do: score slow (his first 50 runs took 50 overs), boring, unremarkable and steady runs.

In the words of James Anderson “That’s what we’ve been missing for a couple of years. Hopefully he’s going to cement his place and will get confidence from this knock and go on tomorrow. More importantly, hopefully he can go on in his career in the next few years.”

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Published on January 06, 2020 01:39

South Africa v England: second Test, day three – live!

Over-by-over-updates from Cape TownAnderson five-for gives England first-innings lead of 46Email Rob at rob.smyth@theguardian.com

9.33am GMT

7th over: England 17-0 (Crawley 15, Sibley 2) With Crawley expecting more short stuff, Rabada tries to nail him with a sucker yorker. It turns into a low full toss, however, and Crawley flicks it fine for four. Crawley, like Sibley, seems to have an impressively equable temperament.

“Morning Rob,” says David Horn. “The catch to Matt Emerson’s idea is that it’s straightforward, free to implement, and makes zero more dollars for The Man. It doesn’t stand a chance.”

9.29am GMT

6th over: England 12-0 (Crawley 10, Sibley 2) After a sluggish start, South Africa are starting to threaten. Sibley, offering no stroke, survives an LBW appeal from Philander. It was far too high. Maharaj then save four with a fine diving stop at mid-off.

“I had a dream last night (and I just know you want to hear all about it) that I was playing football with Glenn McGrath and I told him to watch his step for balls,” says Niall Mullen. “If I didn’t know better I’d say my subconscious was trying to tell me I’ve been watching too much sport. But that can’t be right, can it?”

9.25am GMT

5th over: England 12-0 (Crawley 10, Sibley 2) Crawley misses an attempted pull at Rabada, with ball deflecting off his arm and into the grille. There’s a break in play while the physio gives him the once-over, but he’s fine. Rabada is starting to work him over, however, and later in the over he thumps Crawley on the front arm with another short ball.

Terrific bowling from Rabada, who walks down the track to offer a few observations on Crawley’s technique. “This could be a problem,” says KP of Crawley’s sudden vulnerability to the short ball, “and it’s not the problem you want in international cricket.”

9.18am GMT

4th over: England 12-0 (Crawley 10, Sibley 2) Sibley is in the interrogation room, with Philander leading the AC-12 investigation into his off-side technique. He shovels Philander behind square for a couple to get off the mark. These two young England openers have started nicely.

“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Matt Emerson. “An easier solution to no balls would be for the fourth umpire (who does very little during play) to monitor and then relay the number of no balls to the umpire at the end of each over. He then signals how many runs are to be added. No extra balls, which saves time, but it still penalises the bowler and changes their behaviour. Now let’s never talk of this again.”

9.14am GMT

3rd over: England 10-0 (Crawley 10, Sibley 0) “That’s beautiful, that’s really good,” says Kevin Pietersen on commentary as Zak Crawley defends assertively against Kagiso Rabada. “You can still intimidate a bowler and own that space by playing the most amazing defensive shot, where the ball goes straight off the middle of your bat to mid-off.”

For all his foibles, KP is an extremely good analyst. You could never accuse him of just relying on his genius. As he showed in this brilliant book, he’s an unashamed batting geek.

9.10am GMT

2nd over: England 8-0 (Crawley 8, Sibley 0) Here’s Vern, for the last time on his home ground. His first over is immaculate in its accuracy, but there’s no real movement and Sibley defends comfortably. A maiden.

“A lead, a palpable lead!” weeps Brian Withington. “Giddy stuff from England - what can possibly go wrong from here? In other rhetorical questions, what are the chances of West Ham ignominiously folding at Gillingham this evening?”

9.06am GMT

1st over: England 8-0 (Crawley 8, Sibley 0) Kagiso Rabada takes the first over, presumably so that Vernon Philander can bowl from the favourable Wynberg End. Crawley gets his first boundary in Test cricket with a confident, wristy clip through midwicket, and his second with a lovely drive through mid-off. Two lovely strokes, those, but he gets carried away and tries to drive another off the last delivery. He dragged the ball onto the pad and just wide of the stumps.

9.01am GMT

Stokes’s five-for equals the Test record for an outfielder. They were all difficult catches, too. He is, in the parlance of our time, gloriously backasswards.

8.58am GMT

“Good morning,” says John Starbuck. “As has been hinted before, cricket should investigate the tennis Hawkeye system and consider installing a gizmo which records the front foot landing and beeps if it’s over the line. There are, admittedly, problems, in that (a) the field of play is so much larger that opportunities for accidents are increased (e.g. damage by the heavy roller) (b) the beep has to be very loud, especially if the crowd are in singing mood (c) it’s all managed remotely by the fifth umpire. Alternatively, we could ditch the present system and revert to a back-foot rule.”

Oh lord, not a return to Rorke’s Drag. But I agree about technology. I’m sure they’ll find a way in the next few centur- sorry, years.

8.53am GMT

England lead by 46 runs That was an exceptional bowling performance, led by the inevitable Jimmy Anderson: he ends with figures 19-6-40-5. That’s his 28th five-for in Test cricket. He turns 38 this year.

8.52am GMT

Five wickets for Anderson - and five catches for Ben Stokes. Nortje, pushed back by a couple of bouncers, edged a big drive and was beautifully taken, goalkeeper-style, by Stokes at second slip.

8.48am GMT

88th over: South Africa 222-9 (Philander 16, Nortje 4) A quiet over, one from it. Nortje looks very comfortable.

8.43am GMT

87th over: South Africa 221-9 (Philander 15, Nortje 4) Pope at gully misses a run-out chance, with Nortje well short of his ground. Nortje survives the remainder of Anderson’s over without much difficulty, flicking a boundary over square leg to get off the mark. South Africa usually bat deep - Adelaide 1998 might be the strongest lower order in Test history - and Nortje is a terrific No11.

8.38am GMT

86th over: South Africa 216-9 (Philander 14, Nortje 0) Philander decides it’s time to slog, which is slightly surprising given the excellence of Nortje’s batting in the first Test. He misses with swipes at Broad’s first two deliveries before taking a single off the fifth.

“Mike Waters is close,” says Adam Hillmann, “but the real reason umpires have been instructed to ignore no-balls is that the ICC can’t think of any other way to increase the over rate.”

8.35am GMT

85th over: South Africa 215-9 (Philander 13, Nortje 0) Jimmy Anderson took an ODI hat-trick 17 years ago, but he hasn’t managed one in Tests. And he still hasn’t: Nortje leaves the hat-trick ball outside off stump. But he does have figures of 17-6-34-4. He probably wouldn’t have played had Jofra Archer been fit.

8.31am GMT

Jimmy Anderson is on a two-day hat-trick! Kagiso Rabada goes first ball, thin-edging an immaculate delivery through to Buttler. No looseners here.

8.30am GMT

Jimmy Anderson will open the bowling. He has two balls of his 17th over remaining, having taken the wicket of Keshav Maharaj last night.

8.24am GMT

“Morning Rob,” says Mike Waters. “Could there be any credibility in the theory that the ICC have instructed their umpires to call as few no balls as possible as a way to deter the spot betting market, and by extension the illicit payments to players to bowl them on demand?”

That’s a cracking conspiracy theory, but I suspect there’s approximately 0.00000000000001 per cent chance of it being true.

8.23am GMT

“Four-day Tests? Look, I’m not a fan.”

Dear Virat, thank you.

8.08am GMT

A bit of pre-play reading

6.28am GMT

Morning. South Africa and England are perfect dance partners. In the last 28 years, since South Africa’s readmission to Test cricket, they have been as evenly matched as any teams in the world: 15 wins to England, 16 to South Africa and four series victories apiece.

Usually, contrasting styles make for the best fights. With these two, it’s the similarities - quality seam bowling, lively pitches, an unusual mixture of toughness and insecurity - that have made the matches so compelling. One team rarely gets away from the other, particularly in the first innings, and that has led to many lowish-scoring minor classics: The Oval 1994, Headingley 1998, Lord’s 2012.

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Published on January 05, 2020 01:33

FA Cup clockwatch: Man City 4-1 Port Vale, Watford 3-3 Tranmere – as it happened

Tranmere came from three goals down at Vicarage Road, Twitter’s Tom Pope scored at the Etihad and 18-year-old Adam Idah struck a memorable hat-trick for Norwich

7.49pm GMT

Barnes in the groove.

7.48pm GMT

Not a classic ...

7.36pm GMT

That’s it for bumper FA Cup clockwatch. I’ll leave you with a few match reports from around the country. Thanks for your company, emails and calm-inducing observations on VAR. Goodnight!

7.29pm GMT

The full-time scores in the 5.31pm games

7.29pm GMT

Brendan Rodgers maintains his perfect record in the FA Cup third round.

7.25pm GMT

Portsmouth hang on to reach the last 32.

7.25pm GMT

A comfortable evening for Eddie Howe.

7.24pm GMT

Life is precious, dear friend, and if you watched that game you have just wasted two hours of it.

7.22pm GMT

A predictably easy victory for City. But the real winner was Tom Pope.

7.21pm GMT

Conor McAleny gets a non-consolation goal for Fleetwood.

7.20pm GMT

“We don’t have any VAR problems in Scotland, Rob, largely due to the fact that we don’t have VAR,” says Simon McMahon. “I think there’s a lesson in there for all of us. Peace and love. X
“PS If we did Scotland would have won the 1978 World Cup.
“PPS Lol.”

7.18pm GMT

I can’t wait for the post-match interview

1 - At 17 years & 339 days old, Taylor Harwood-Bellis is the youngest Englishman to score for Manchester City in any competition since Micah Richards did so against Aston Villa in the FA Cup back in February 2006 (17y & 240d). Talent. #FACup pic.twitter.com/0xkQGFR95t

7.17pm GMT

Take that, “VAR”. After having a goal ruled out in the first half, Dominic Solanke finally scores his first goal for Bournemouth.

7.16pm GMT

This is my favourite email of a very long day, the dry musings of a man ready to do time for his beliefs

“I can see how there might have been some confusion on City’s third goal,” says J.R in Illinois. “On first viewing it looked like Harwood-Bellis’s left buttcheek hairs may have been standing in an offside position when Stones’s shot went in off him. But upon closer inspection the fraying fabric on the outside of the collar lining of Leon Legge’s left boot was clearly and obviously playing Harwood-Bellis onside. Good goal.”

7.12pm GMT

The latest scores

7.12pm GMT

A second goal for Philip Billing.

7.08pm GMT

Manchester City 4-1 Port Vale “How does Katharine Tabarner know (VAR and City 3rd goal)?” says Neil Truby. “I’m in the bloody stadium and we haven’t a clue how or what was going on!”

It’s almost as if football has sold its soul to television!

7.05pm GMT

Phil Foden makes the most of a rare start, scoring his third goal of the season to seal victory for City.

7.04pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Wolves have had a goal disallowed for handball at Molineux. They have been much the better side in the second half.

7.03pm GMT

And John Marquis does likewise for Portsmouth.

7.01pm GMT

The substitute Callum Wilson scores with his first touch to seal victory, probably, for Bournemouth.

6.58pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Marcus Rashford has hit the bar 27 seconds after coming on as substitute.

6.57pm GMT

Portsmouth, who won the FA Cup in 2008 (yes, yes, and 1939) and reached the final in 2010 (yes, yes, and 1929 and 1934), are ahead at Fleetwood thanks to James Bolton.

6.55pm GMT

Manchester City 3-1 Port Vale Here’s Katharine Tabarner with a full explanation of that third City goal. “Aguero headed across the area, the ball broke for Stones and it deflected off the calf of the youngster on its way in. The VAR check took ages with lines being drawn and redrawn.”

6.52pm GMT

The latest scores

6.51pm GMT

Manchester City 3-1 Port Vale I’ll be honest, I haven’t a clue what happened with that third City goal, primarily because I haven’t seen it. It sounds like there was a VAR check for offside after John Stones had scored, and then the goal was given to Taylor Harwood-Bellis because it hit him on the line.

6.48pm GMT

No he hasn’t - it was the 17-year-old Taylor Harwood-Bellis who scored on his home debut! Stones got the assist.

6.46pm GMT

John Stones has equalised against Tom Pope!

6.42pm GMT

The latest scores

6.41pm GMT

“If there’s one thing more entertaining than seeing players give it the big one, it’s seeing players give it the big one and then delivering,” says Matt Dony. “Good on Pope. Great to see him get a goal.”

Indeed. If you haven’t heard his Undr the Cosh interview, it’s hugely entertaining. I can’t recommend Undr the Cosh enough; it’s consistently brilliant.

6.38pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Wolves, with Raul Jimenez on as sub, have started the second half superbly at Molineux. Scott Murray has the latest.

6.37pm GMT

7/7 - Tom Pope's equaliser for Port Vale against Manchester City was his seventh goal in his last seven FA Cup appearances. Soft. #FACup pic.twitter.com/xqc5GhvxSZ

6.25pm GMT

The half-time scores

6.25pm GMT

Bournemouth 1-0 Luton Late drama in the first half, with Luton’s Alan Sheehan smacking a penalty against the bar in the seventh minute of added time.

6.17pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United It’s half-time at Molineux. Scott Murray is following that one.

6.14pm GMT

Port Vale were level for seven minutes (not counting the

mezzanine
VAR check). But it doesn’t matter how many City score now; Tom Pope has already won.

6.13pm GMT

Harvey Barnes doubles Leicester’s lead. That should - should - be enough.

6.09pm GMT

Twitter’s Tom Pope has equalised for Port Vale! It was a terrific header, apparently, though sadly it didn’t involve John Stones being left in a heap.

Just watched the highlights of the England game! I know I’m a league 2 player, I know he plays for England, I know he’s on £150k a week, I know he’s a million times better player than me but I’d love to play against John Stones every week! I’d get 40 a season! #soft #weakaspiss

6.07pm GMT

Manchester City 1-0 Port Vale “One yard out, open goal, falling backwards,” writes J.A Hopkin. “David Silva hits the bar...”

I love this groundbreaking form of journalism, whereby the readers tell the writer what’s happening.

6.05pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United That might have been a penalty for United, with Brandon Williams apparently taken down by Leander Dendoncker. Paul Tierney, the on-field referee, was not interested and VAR backed him up. If you substitute a herbal tea such as peppermint for more stimulating drinks such as coffee and 94%ABV liquor, your ability to be calm will be enhanced many times.

6.02pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Half an hour gone. Manchester United have had loads of possession, and you know what that means: it’s 0-0. Harry Maguire is struggling with what looks like a hip problem. That would be a huge blow at the best of times, never mind when you have Manchester City (twice) and Liverpool to play this month.

6.00pm GMT

“Nice try with this pseudo-Zen attitude you’re adopting towards that which should not be mentioned,” says Charlie. “But you’re not fooling anyone, and we both know that by the end of this round of games you’re going to be a raging, spluttering wreck because someone’s toe was offside. If you keep trying to bottle it up, at some point in the next ninety minutes there’s going to be an explosion in King’s Place that will be heard throughout the land.”

Let’s hope so.

5.59pm GMT

The latest scores

5.56pm GMT

“Last season I followed the Coupe de France and to these foreign eyes it seems to have oodles of romance,” says Kári Tulinius. “A story like today’s, a team traveling to mainland France from an island in the Indian Ocean and emerging victorious, just couldn’t happen in any other national competition I know of. The Magique of the Coupe.”

You betcha.

5.53pm GMT

Apart from Wolves v Man Utd, which is live on BT Sport, we can’t see the goals from the 5.31pm games, hence the Pulitzer-bothering entries below.

5.52pm GMT

It’s also there!

5.51pm GMT

It’s there!

5.50pm GMT

As well as being a boor and a bore, VAR has now been exposed as heartless swine: Dominic Solanke’s goal has been ruled out for an offside in the build-up.

5.49pm GMT

A year and a day after joining the club, Dominic Solanke finally scores his first goal for Bournemouth!

5.45pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Sergio Romero has just made an outstanding reaction save at Molineux. Manchester United don’t have much to boast about these days, but they can claim one of the best reserve goalkeepers in the world.

5.44pm GMT

“I once won a lifetime supply of Marmite in a newspaper competition, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I’ve still got the jar; I can send it to you if you’re interested.”

5.42pm GMT

“In my opinion, match broadcasts should be labelled to indicate whether or not VAR is in use,” says Peter Oh. “Kind of like the ‘gluten-free’ and ‘non-GMO’ labels on food products.”

VAR, you say? Well, most worries are future-based. They revolve around things that, in most cases, will never happen. Concentrate on the present and the future will take care of itself.

5.42pm GMT

Bournemouth have been struggling of late, but Philip Billing has given them an early lead against occasional giant-killers Luton.

5.37pm GMT

“Port Vale NOT Preston,” says Anne Oakes of an earlier mistake that has now been corrected so there’s no point me linking to it because it’s no longer there. “I am a Burslem ex-pat in France enjoying the end of the festivities so I have nothing better to do than point out your mistake...”

Ach, I thought nobody has spotted.

5.32pm GMT

Peep peep! The 5.31pm games are under way. Scott Murray is also following Wolves v Man Utd.

5.31pm GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Grant Tennille. “Wading in ill-advisedly, I feel certain, but re: jinxing/tempting fate at Watford, how early is too early to deem something a ‘consolation’ goal? If this question has shades of the whole ‘what makes a foul ”tactical”’ discussion, then please accept my apologies.”

Consolation goals, like beauty and Marmite, are in the eye of the beholder. I suppose the events of 4 February 2004 should have taught us there is no such thing as a foregone conclusion.

5.20pm GMT

And here’s your hot-off-the-press report on

Watford’s spectacular capitulation
Tranmere’s heroic comeback at Vicarage Road:

5.18pm GMT

And these are the late kick-offs

5.17pm GMT

And our take from the south coast, where Brighton came unstuck against Sheffield Wednesday:

5.12pm GMT

Our match report from Fulham:

5.09pm GMT

The biggest cup shock of the day has come in France:

5.01pm GMT

“Way to go Rob,” says Ivar Laanen. “You really jinxed Watford with your little speech, in which you said, ‘They’ve played four home games under Nigel Pearson, including today, and it’s probably not tempting fate to suggest they have won all four.’ It’s your fault Tranmere came back. Well done.”

You make a fair point. I suppose I would say there is seldom any rational reason for having regrets about past deeds or events. Because the past does not exist in any other way than in your memory. When you recognise this lack of reality, you can be calm.

4.59pm GMT

Peep peep! That’s it for the 3.01pm matches. I’m going to take a short break, but will be back for the 5.31pm kick-offs.

The full-time scores

4.59pm GMT

A dog of a game, by all accounts, but Brentford are through.

4.58pm GMT

Two teenagers, Will Smallbone and Jake Vokins, scored to give Southampton a comfortable victory.

4.58pm GMT

Non-league Hartlepool threatened a shock when they led in the first half, but Oxford were too good after the break.

4.57pm GMT

Two brilliant goals from Anthony Knockaert and Harry Arter give Fulham victory over Premier League Aston Villa.

4.56pm GMT

Cardiff come from 2-0 down at half-time to avoid a shock defeat.

4.56pm GMT

That was a cracking game, and included a Panenka that hit the bar from Armand Gnanduillet.

4.55pm GMT

Peep peep! League One Tranmere come from three goals down at half-time to earn a replay.

4.54pm GMT

The Irish teenager Adam Idah’s accomplished hat-trick puts Norwich through without alarm.

4.52pm GMT

Peep peep! Sheffield Wednesday have put Premier League Brighton out of the FA Cup.

4.51pm GMT

Another teenager, Jake Vokins, seals Southampton’s place in the last 32 with a deflected shot.

4.50pm GMT

Only Liverpool and Manchester City have scored more goals in all competitions than Oxford this season.

4.49pm GMT

“The way it’s used at the moment, VAR is not conducive to anyone’s mental health and well-being, I reckon,” says Simon McMahon. “The powers that be should try the more mindful approach to decision making pioneered by the MBM. Seriously. Just ask the MBM. It’d be quicker, and more accurate.”

I agree. Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange and pretend you’re laughing at it.

4.47pm GMT

Tariqe Fosu-Henry scores an open goal to seal an impressive comeback from Oxford.

4.47pm GMT

Watford 3-3 Tranmere He kicked out at a Tranmere player, and he’s off.

4.45pm GMT

Paul Mullin hammers it down the middle! Tranmere, who were lucky to be 3-0 down at half-time, are level!

4.44pm GMT

Blah blah, Tranmere have a penalty!

4.44pm GMT

Oh my days.

4.43pm GMT

Ther’s more football after this

4.42pm GMT

“According to the commentator, Monthe is pronounced Montay,” says Mac Millings, “so I’m guessing his nickname is Burns.”

4.40pm GMT

The latest scores

4.39pm GMT

“How about that hat-trick for the young Cork man, Idah?” says J.R in Illinois. “Pretty sweet. And here is where I mention that if they had been using VAR his third goal would have been chalked off as he was offside before he won the penalty. Sorry. VAR is so terrible that even when it isn’t in use the mere fact that it exists is so disheartening as to ruin non-VAR games as well.”

VAR, you say? There is little doubt that those who get the most from life are those who look for the wonder in even the smallest things they do. Cultivate this skill and you’ll find peace and satisfaction as well.

4.39pm GMT

Crikey. A mistake from the Watford keeper Daniel Bachmann allows Emmanuel Monthe to bring Tranmere right back into the match. If his nickname isn’t Cremda, then the world is going to hell in a handcart.

4.36pm GMT

“You’ve accidentally added the word ‘again’ to the end of that sentence (4.20pm),” says Matt Dony. “(Also, what could a therapist possibly offer you that you can’t get from an extensive network of well-balanced, rational, intelligent MBM correspondents?)”

I’m sorry, I thought that was a rhetorical question.

4.33pm GMT

Fulham are ahead for the second time thanks to the on-loan Harry Arter.

4.31pm GMT

Oxford have battered Hartlepool in the second half and deserve their lead. It’s a beautiful solo goal, too, from Shannon Baptiste, who moves elegantly through the defence and eases the ball into the net.

4.30pm GMT

For the love of blood pressure, I can’t keep up with this. Arnand Gnanduillet has missed a penalty for Blackpool, Panenkaing it onto the crossbar.

4.28pm GMT

Reading equalise for the second time!

4.27pm GMT

Connor Jennings gets a consolation goal for Tranmere.

4.26pm GMT

Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa That goal came from Anwar El Ghazi, who apparently nicked it off Jonathan Kodjia.

4.26pm GMT

Jack Reach’s deflected free-kick has given Sheffield Wednesday the lead at the Amex Stadium!

4.25pm GMT

Villa are level! But another Premier League team are in trouble...

4.24pm GMT

There’s your third round fairytale! Adam Idah, the 18-year-old striker from Cork, scores from the penalty spot to complete a hat-trick on his FA Cup debut.

4.22pm GMT

Reading were level for only four minutes. Armand Gnanduillet has restored Blackpool’s lead with a

thunderbast-
spectacular strike.

4.20pm GMT

“The main problem with VAR isn’t the V part, it’s the AR part, the human part,” says J.R. in Illinois. “I have seen the VAR make some seriously grievous decisions but you should have seen me at the moment I realised that they were using VAR in some, but not all, FA Cup matches. I was literally shocked and my mouth involuntarily hung open for several moments in disbelief. What rocket scientists came up with that plan? And why am I surprised even though I know I shouldn’t be?”

I wish I could reply, but my therapist says I need to stop talking about VAR and start loving myself again.

4.18pm GMT

The latest scores

4.18pm GMT

Another equaliser, this time at the Madejski Stadium, thanks to a stinging shot from Sam Baldock.

4.17pm GMT

Cardiff have scored twice in the first 10 minutes of the second half, with Gavin Whyte grabbing the equaliser.

4.16pm GMT

Brighton 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday Steven Fletcher has been stretchered off with what sounds like a very bad injury. He landed awkwardly on a straight leg, and the BT Sport pundits think it could be a cruciate-ligament injury. At the age of 32, that’s especially worrying.

4.14pm GMT

Robert Hall scores a fine goal, not dissimilar to Knockaert’s, to equalise for Oxford against non-league Hartlepools.

4.13pm GMT

Aston Villa could be the first Premier League side to go out of the FA Cup. Anthony Knockaert moves infield from the right and whips a beautiful curling shot into the top corner. That’s a lovely goal.

4.12pm GMT

Cardiff are back in the game thanks to Callum Paterson. Yep.

4.11pm GMT

The impressive teenager Will Smallbone marks his debut with an accomplished finish to give Southampton the lead.

4.10pm GMT

Preston pull one back at the start of the second half. A corner bounces around the Norwich area before Billy Bodin does the necessary.

3.57pm GMT

“Albion Rovers 0-3 Stirling Albion is the half time at Cliftonhill,” writes our unpaid etc. Simon McMahon. “This year is the 100th anniversary of Rovers’ solitary appearance in a major cup final, the 1920 Scottish Cup. Having beaten Rangers in a second replay to reach the final, they lost 3-2 to Kilmarnock in front of 95,000 at Hampden. Apparently their goalkeeper arrived at Hampden direct from the cells, having been somewhat ‘tired and emotional’ the previous evening.”

And some people have the effrontery to say football has never been better.

3.54pm GMT

“Watford cruised to a 3-0 lead at the break,” writes our unpaid intern American Watford correspondent Mac Millings. “The Hornets really didn’t create an awful lot, but when they did, they made it count, with three beautifully taken goals. Tranmere have worked hard, and their travelling support have been tremendous, but Watford simply have too much quality for them. Dele-Bashiru in particular has looked sharp.”

3.51pm GMT

The half-time scores

3.50pm GMT

There’s a shock on in Wales. Harry McKirdy has put Carlisle, who sit 21st in League Two, a couple of goals ahead against the Championship side Cardiff.

3.48pm GMT

Shane Long has a goal disallowed for an unclear and unobvious offside.

3.47pm GMT

Emiliano Marcondes scores for 2021’s hipster favourites.

3.42pm GMT

Brighton 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday “Steven Fletcher’s barnet looks magnificent,” says John Hartson on BT Sport. “He had less hair than me 12 months ago. Now he looks like Rod Stewart!”

3.40pm GMT

The exciting Irish teenager Adam Idah gets his second, clipping the ball into an empty net from 40 yards. He looks a prospect, this lad.

3.37pm GMT

The latest scores

3.36pm GMT

Watford’s spectacular revival continues. They’ve played four home games under Nigel Pearson, including today, and it’s probably not tempting fate to suggest they have won all four. Roberto Pereyra has put them 3-0 up against Tranmere with a classy finish.

3.35pm GMT

ICYMI, the biggest story of the early games came at Spotland, where 17-year-old Luke Matheson set up 40-year-old Aaron Wilbraham to earn a deserved replay for Rochdale against Norwich.

3.31pm GMT

Blackpool lead against the run of play. Nathan Delfouneso, the former England Under-21 striker, has scored from close range.

3.30pm GMT

A mistake from the Preston keeper Connor Ripley allows Onel Hernandez to double Norwich’s lead.

3.24pm GMT

Southampton 0-0 Huddersfield Southampton might have had a penalty for a shirt pull on Jan Vestergaard. VAR is being used, but decided it was not a clear and obvious foul. Don’t go there, I’m on a VAR detox.

3.22pm GMT

“From the photo of Millwall’s third goal,” begins Peter Littley, “it seems there were more goals than paying spectators.”

3.16pm GMT

The latest scores

3.16pm GMT

Tranmere try to play out from the back. It doesn’t go entirely to plan, and Nathaniel Chalobah makes it 2-0 to Watford.

3.15pm GMT

It’s haemorrhaging goals in the FA Cup. Jack Bridge wins a dodgy penalty and takes it himself. His effort is saved but he scores from the replay.

3.13pm GMT

Watford Reserves take an early lead through a cracking long-range strike from Tom Dele-Bashiru.

3.13pm GMT

Non-league Hartlepool lead at Oxford! The home side faffed around in defence, allowing Mark Kitching to nip in and score.

3.10pm GMT

Cork's Adam Idah scores! SCENES! Magic of the cup all over the gaff! https://t.co/TzmkjHewuS

3.07pm GMT

“No cup games in Scotland this week as the big boys take a break, but you don’t get more romantic than the Scottish lower leagues, do you?” swoons Simon McMahon. “In the Scottish Championship, runaway leaders Dundee United make the long trip to Dumfries to face Queen of the South. The Tannadice men have won nine and drawn one of their last ten in the league, establishing a 14-point lead over the chasing pack in the process. Their last defeat was at Queen of the South, though, a 4-0 shellacking at that, so they’ll be keen to take revenge today. There’s also an Albion derby as it’s Albion Rovers v Stirling Albion. You don’t get more romantic than that, eh?”

3.06pm GMT

An early lead for Norwich, with the Irish teenager Adam Idah scoring very confidently from Marco Stiepermann’s through pass. I am paraphrasing Chris Sutton on BT Sport here, as they are not allowed to show the goals from the 3.01pm kick-offs. Bah, gah and bah some more: it was fun being able to see the thing I have to describe during the early games.

3.01pm GMT

Peep peep! The 3.01pm games are under way.

2.44pm GMT

Here’s the match report from our man in Rochdale:

2.43pm GMT

2.33pm GMT

Peep peep! I’m going to take a short break before the 3.01pm games begin. In the meantime, here’s a quiz.

2.32pm GMT

The final scores in the 12.31pm kick-offs

2.32pm GMT

Peep peep! Tom Eaves’ earthy hat-trick has put Hull into the fourth round.

2.29pm GMT

Rotherham 2-3 Hull City Rotherham almost equalise straight away, with Reece Burke heading against his own post!

2.28pm GMT

Tom Eaves completes his hat-trick to put Hull into the next round! He headed home from close range after a scramble at a corner, and celebrated in style by whipping off his top to reveal a GPS vest.

2.26pm GMT

Jeremie Bela’s late goal puts ten-man Birmingham in the last 32.

2.25pm GMT

An impressive performance from Shrewsbury, who could easily have won at Ashton Gate.

2.25pm GMT

A pretty comfortable victory for a strong Burnley side, who led 3-0 after 23 minutes and were never in danger after that.

2.24pm GMT

Peep peep! Aaron Wilbraham, the FA Cup’s great quadragenarian, secures a lucrative and deserves replay for Rochdale against injury-hit Newcastle.

2.23pm GMT

Ten-man Birmingham have nicked it! Jeremie Bela moves into the area and sidefoots a low cross-shot through the keeper Jayson Leutwiler. That was poor keeping and even worse defending, with all the Blackburn players backing away from Bela in the area.

2.21pm GMT

An easy win for Gary Rowett’s side.

2.21pm GMT

Rochdale 1-1 Newcastle Steve Bruce’s side are hanging on for dear life, or at least a replay, at Spotland. Follow the last few minutes with Scott Murray.

2.18pm GMT

These are the 3.01pm fixtures, more of which anon.

2.16pm GMT

“Oh damn, somebody already beat me to it!” says Adam Hirst, who has sent a link to that Malcolm Macdonald goal (1.49pm). “That’ll teach me to concentrate on the cricket and only look in on you occasionally. Mind you, I bet that’s what you’re doing as well…”

That’s a despicable slur on my professionalism . I am completely focussed on the third round on the fact thaT DEAN ELGAR HAS JUST SLOGGED DOM BESS STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR! WOOHOO, YA DANCER!

2.12pm GMT

The latest scores

2.12pm GMT

Millwall seal victory at the Den, with Tom Bradshaw sweeping in from close range.

2.10pm GMT

Oh my, this is a classic FA Cup story! Aaron Wilbraham, aged 40 (F-O-R-T-Y), has come off the bench to equalise for Rochdale against Newcastle. Scott Murray has more.

2.09pm GMT

The teenager Ricky Jade-Jones pulls one back for Peterborough, shinning a volley into the net from close range after a scramble at a corner.

2.07pm GMT

Millwall 2-0 Newport Joss Labadie is lucky to get only a yellow card after planting his studs into the calf of Connor Mahoney.

2.06pm GMT

Rotherham 2-2 Hull The referee spent an age talking to the assistant about whether the ball went out of play before Kane crossed for Eaves to score. That’s all very strange, because there’s no VAR, and it didn’t go out of play anyway. Everyone’s lost the noggin post-VAR.

2.04pm GMT

Hull are level against ten-man Rotherham. Tom Eaves gets his second goal, stretching to head into the net after a fine run down the left by Herbie Kane.

1.58pm GMT

Latest scores

1.55pm GMT

Birmingham 1-1 Blackburn Sunjic only came on as a substitute two minutes before he was sent off. Good lad.

1.55pm GMT

What. A. Goal.

Kyle Vassell! #FACup pic.twitter.com/5Wt3TVwPvU

1.54pm GMT

Millwall double their lead through Connor Mahoney’s calm penalty.

1.53pm GMT

Blackburn are level - and Birmingham are down to 10 men. Ivan Sunjic, mistaking himself for Franz Beckenbauer, gave the ball away to Sam Gallagher and compounded the mistake by shoving his over in the penalty area. He was sent off, and Adam Armstrong thumped the penalty down the middle.

1.50pm GMT

Rochdale 0-1 Newcastle Ian Henderson has hit the post for Rochdale, who are putting Newcastle under increasing pressure.

1.49pm GMT

This is a great spot from Gavin English

“Rob, take a look at this – almost identical to Kyle Vassell’s goal.”

1.47pm GMT

Latest scores

1.45pm GMT

Rochdale 0-1 Newcastle What, another one? Yep, Newcastle have suffered their 48th injury of the festive period. Scott Murray has the details.

1.43pm GMT

Millwall 1-0 Newport Padraig Amond has missed a great chance for Newport, scuffing a loose ball wide from eight yards.

1.43pm GMT

Aaron Lennon plays a beautiful reverse pass to put Jay Rodriguez through, and he finishes with the minimum of fuss.

1.38pm GMT

Shrewsbury equalise with a fine goal. A corner was half cleared to Sean Goss, 25 yards from goal, and he curled a lovely, precise shot that went into the net off the far post.

1.33pm GMT

1.22pm GMT

Half-time entertainment

This is great, the end.

1.21pm GMT

Peep peep! It’s half-time in the six 12.31pm games, and these are the scores:

1.20pm GMT

What a goal! Kyle Vassell has given 10-man Rotherham the lead with a spectacular goal from the left edge of the box. He allowed a short throw to run across his body, waited for the ball to bounce up and smashed a swirling shot that flew over Matt Ingram and into the far corner. It was very similiar to this goal from Steve McManaman, only better.

1.12pm GMT

You don’t see many consolation goals in the first half, but Peterborough have got one at Turf Moor. Matthew Lowton’s backheader was short, and Ivan Toney danced around Joe Hart to score confidently from a tight angle.

1.10pm GMT

“My favourite third round goal is Shane Long for Reading vs Liverpool in 2010,” says Rob Evans. “Cold, possibly snowy weekday evening. We’re playing well but it’s Liverpool, and it’s Anfield and somehow it is extra time. Reading favourite Bryn Gunnarson turns into Garrincha, throws in a Cruyff turn and a nutmeg before pinging in for Shane Long to score.”

1.06pm GMT

“I join Mr. Pearson in my astonishment that all the early matches are available here in the colonies,” says James Thomas. “I’ve opted for Birmingham-Blackburn, although I’m really waiting for Fulham-Aston Villa later. What do the Cottagers need to do, in your humble estimation, to earn promotion, and stick, this season?”

Erm, win the play-offs? I’m no Championship expert – I’m not sure I’m an anything expert – but it does look like Leeds and West Brom will be hard to catch.

1.03pm GMT

Bristol City 1-0 Shrewbury Town Ah, here we go. A short corner on the left, a deep cross and a precise looping header from Famara Diedhiou.

1.03pm GMT

I can’t describe this one because BT Sport are currently on an ad break. Hotels.com, since you asked.

1.02pm GMT

Latest scores

1.00pm GMT

Rotherham 1-1 Hull Rotherham are down to 10 men. Adam Thompson has been sent off for a studs-up lunge at Keane Lewis-Potter. I suspect it was overzealous rather than malicious, but it was a dangerous tackle and he had to walk.

12.58pm GMT

“Mickey Thomas’s free kick against for Wrexham against Arsenal would still be rising today had the net not stopped it,” says Matt Dony. “Xabi Alonso scored against Luton from way inside his own half on his WRONG FOOT. But, although it might not be the most romantic or spectacular choice, Van Dijk’s header against Everton two years ago looks like a turning point. He announced his arrival in style, and went on to have a ridiculously transformative effect on the team. That one probably gets my vote. I want to be VVD when I grow up.”

12.57pm GMT

Jeff Hendrick’s deflected shot from the edge of the area extendes Burnley’s lead.

12.56pm GMT

An equaliser for Rotherham! Michael Smith, given too much time in the area, slams a rising shot into the top corner.

12.53pm GMT

The latest scores

12.52pm GMT

“Evening Rob,” says Patrick O’Brien. “My favourite MIKEL ARTETA!!!!! third round goal MIKEL!!!!! ARTE!!!!!TA was MIKEL ARTETA!!!!!!! when ... um, effing love MIKEL ARTETA me.”

12.51pm GMT

Hull take a slightly underserved lead at the New York Stadium, with Tom Eaves dragging a low shot into the corner from close range.

12.50pm GMT

A neat finish from Miguel Almiron gives Newcastle a deserved lead. Scott Murray will tell you more.

12.50pm GMT

Bliss it was in that dawn to be alive, but to be a Clockwatcher was very heaven

We can’t see the goals when we do Premier League clockwatches, which makes for a peculiar experience. Thankfully BT Sport are allowed to show the goals from the 12.31pm games. It’s quite an experience to actually describe the goals rather than paraphrase Paul Merson and Matt Le Tissier.

12.47pm GMT

Burnley are cruising into the fourth round. Erik Pieters, 25 yards out, thumps a bouncing ball across Christy Pym and into the far corner. The keeper might have done better.

12.46pm GMT

A preview of one of tomorrow’s big games

12.43pm GMT

Burnley 1-0 Peterborough Pym makes a good save from Gudmundsson’s low shot. Peterborough could be blown away here.

12.42pm GMT

A question for both you readers: what’s your favourite FA Cup third round goal and why? I’m not sure I can get past Ronnie Radford.

12.41pm GMT

Rodriguez gives Burnley the lead from close range after Chris Wood’s header is saved by Christy Pym. He was offside in the build up, but it was a new phase of play by the time he scored, which meant the goal survived a VAR check. Incidentally, VAR is only being used in matches at Premier League grounds.

12.40pm GMT

Millwall take an early lead with Matt Smith scoring from 10 yards after a left-wing corner was allowed too bounce across the box.

12.37pm GMT

Birmingham have scored the first goal of the third round. Daniel Crowley, once of Arsenal, surges from the halfway line to the edge of the box and cracks a low shot into the far corner. Good goal, that.

12.36pm GMT

Burnley and Newcastle, the two Premier League sides playing this lunchtime, have both picked strong XIs. It will be hard for any of the Small 13 to win the competition, but there is certainly scope for a run to the semi-finals, perhaps the final.

12.34pm GMT

“One of the reasons I subscribed to ESPN+ was so I could watch FA Cup matches here in the USA,” says Joe Pearson. “Little did I expect they would ALL be available. What do I do?”

Watch Rochdale v Newcastle, and keep pressing F5 on this clockwatch so that we get more hits and The Man labours under the misapprehension that I am more popular than the average Clockwatcher. He might even give me a packet of bonbons.

12.28pm GMT

The 12.31pm games are about to kick off. A reminder that Scott Murray is following Rochdale v Newcastle.

12.27pm GMT

“Happy new year!” says Mike MacKenzie. “Not sure how practical the following ideas are but offer them anyway to improve FA Cup:

12.15pm GMT

As with 99.9999 per cent of everything Scott Murray writes, this is a brilliant read

11.49am GMT

And here’s a preview of every third round match

Peterborough think they will be facing a shadow Burnley side when they turn up for an early kick-off at Turf Moor, and they might be right. The FA Cup has come at an awkward time for the Clarets, who have lost six of their last eight league games, are only four points above the relegation zone and face Chelsea, Leicester, Manchester United and Arsenal when the Premier League resumes. Sean Dyche will still try to pick a side capable of winning the tie against League One’s top scorers, but anything could happen. VAR will be in use here, as it will be at all ties hosted by Premier League teams.

11.37am GMT

Some pre-match reading

11.30am GMT

Hello. These all-dayers are getting out of hand. It was the Premier League on New Year’s Day, and today it’s an FA Cup third round special. First orders will be at 12.31pm, when the opening round of matches kick off. There are more games at 3.01pm, then a third lot starting at 5.31pm.

We’ll have separate MBMs for the two televised games, Rochdale v Newcastle and Wolves v Man Utd while muggins here will attempt to keep up with all the other games. The unusual kick-off times, as you are probably aware, are so that we can take a minute or three to think about mental health. Football has come a long way in the 21 years since Stan Collymore was made a pariah.

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

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Published on January 04, 2020 11:36

South Africa v England: second Test, day one – live!

Live updates from Newlands as tourists bid to square seriesMore New Zealand misery as Labuschagne hits another tonAnd you can email Tim or tweet him @timdelisle

9.32am GMT

14th over: England 40-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 12) du Plessis turns to spin, in the shape of Keshav Maharaj, probably because Sibley gave him that return catch in the first Test. Denly strokes a single past the bowler and Sibley gets a gift on his pads, which he duly flicks for four. That’s drinks, with honours evenish but England doing not too badly, all things considered.

9.27am GMT

13th over: England 35-1 (Sibley 20, Denly 11) A rest for Philander as Nortje comes on. He is quicker but less threatening, and Sibley picks up two more with a push into the covers. He’s getting a taste for the off side now.

9.26am GMT

12th over: England 33-1 (Sibley 18, Denly 11) A single to Sibley, nudging off his pads.

“It occurs to me,” says Sandy Fyfe, “if Philander is an artist, as you suggest in the 7th over, he would be an elegant impressionist whose quality and skills stand the test of time and are obvious for all to see. A Monet perhaps? Or Degas?

“Jonny Bairstow on the other hand would be Martin Creed, unashamedly trying to pass off crumpled up pieces of paper as art. A bit like he has tried to pass off his batting technique as Test standard for some time now!” Know what you mean, but Bairstow’s technique was good enough to make him a successful Test player for a few years. Then he started missing straight balls in Tests – while lording it in one-day cricket and the County Championship. You’d think that a good batting coach would be itching to work with him.

9.18am GMT

11th over: England 32-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 11) Denly decides to stand outside his crease to cut down on Philander’s movement away from the bat. Philander tries a bouncer to push him back, but Denly is ready for it and hooks, authoritatively, for four. Good contest.

9.14am GMT

10th over: England 28-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 7) A nudge for a single by Denly off Rabada, and a row of dots for Sibley, who deals easily with a rare bouncer.

“Good morning,” says Damian Ainsworth. “Just tuned in, noticed Bairstow’s absence and am left wondering how the Guardian’s OBO warriors will occupy their time without him to discuss (criticise). Root’s captaincy perhaps? Yours, a cussed Yorkshireman.” Ha. So do you believe Root is a good captain?

9.10am GMT

9th over: England 27-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 6) In his first Test innings at Mount Maunganui, Sibley made 22 without troubling the scorers once on the off side. But now he manages to hit a cover drive for four, off Philander of all people. Maybe he’s less limited than he looked in New Zealand. He’s certainly been positive today, making his 17 off only 25 balls.

9.07am GMT

8th over: England 23-1 (Sibley 13, Denly 6) This time Denly’s square drive is a touch later, which takes it away to cover’s left, for four. He gets a couple more in the same direction with more of a prod. After all those solid fifties, today would be a great day to get his first Test hundred.

“I’ve just woken up to see the line-up,” says Adma Levine, “and with all these callow batsmen and medium pacers, it feels like I’ve had a bump on the head and come to in some sort of 90s cricketing equivalent of Life on Mars, with Chris Silverwood in the attack rather than the dressing room. I’m half expecting to see Jason Gallian opening and Mark Lathwell and Hugh Morris jog to the crease at some point. Hoping to see Martin McCague come into the attack and also hoping that the ‘new Botham’, Ronnie Irani, lives up to the hype. All soundtracked by Supergrass and the Fugees natch. Have fun OBO’ing this impending train wreck of a Test match.”

9.01am GMT

7th over: England 17-1 (Sibley 13, Denly 0) Philander offers a rare freebie and Sibley helps himself to a clip through square leg to move into double figures. Irritated, Philander beats his outside edge with a lovely leg-cutter, then beats his inside edge with the nip-backer into the pads. The man is an artist.

8.58am GMT

6th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) Joe Denly, a spectator so far, faces a full over from Rabada, and it’s a good contest. Rabada is more accurate and Denly, as is his wont at the start of a Test innings, is obdurate. He does produce one elegant square drive, but it goes straight to the man at cover point.

8.55am GMT

5th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) Sibley plays out a maiden from Philander, who has picked up precisely where he left off at Centurion. His figures are 3-2-1-1, while Rabada has 2-0-12-0.

8.53am GMT

4th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) And now Sibley edges Rabada, through the gap at fourth slip, for four. Hard to see why Faf du Plessis hasn’t gone for a full cordon.

8.50am GMT

3rd over: England 8-1 (Sibley 4, Denly 0) These teams are a funny mixture of old and young, and in that over Philander’s experience easily overpowered Crawley’s youthful promise – helped by a fine diving catch from another senior player, Quinton de Kock. And England’s decision to go with Crawley over Jonny Bairstow has backfired already.

“Optimism?” says Colum Farrelly. “This is really a variation on Tom van der Gucht’s second reason [8:31]. England play awful rubbish when they’re cocky. This team won’t be afflicted by arrogance and will focus admirably. (I hope I’m not too late with this, and they’re 0-2 after 1 over.)” Not far off.

8.45am GMT

Nerveless or not, Crawley’s missed a couple outside off and now he nicks one, coming down with a crooked bat as Philander finds that immaculate outswinger of his. Shame.

8.41am GMT

2nd over: England 8-0 (Crawley 4, Sibley 4) Kagiso Rabada goes very full to Crawley, who leaves one tempting half-volley outside off, then pushes the next into the covers for a comfy three. Dom Sibley gets off the mark as Rabada stays full and strays onto the pads, the one place where you don’t bowl to Sibley. This pair may lack experience, but they don’t seem cowed.

8.37am GMT

1st over: England 1-0 (Crawley 1, Sibley 0) Philander is not a man who needs a loosener and, sure enough, he beats Zak Crawley, fourth ball, with a jaffa. Then he gets too straight and Crawley is able to flick him away for a single, which is greeted by the England fans as if it was a six from Ben Stokes. Mike Atherton reckons the crowd is 70% English.

8.33am GMT

Play! It’s going to be Vernon Philander to open the bowling in his farewell series. In the first Test, he was not so much Big Vern as Absolutely Immense Vern.

8.31am GMT

Time for some rampant optimism. “It might be because this is the last weekday of my Christmas holidays,” says Tom van der Gucht, “and I’m on a sugar high after eating a Toblerone for breakfast, but my money is firmly on an England win, for the following reasons.

1. South Africa haven’t lost here for ages, except against Australia (according to Simon Wilde on Twitter) and are therefore due a loss.

8.24am GMT

A word from the Cape. “Good morning from a sunny but windy Cape Town Tim,” says Trevor Tutu. “I would be going to the ground, but have given my tickets to my son, as he says he and his mates are going to barrack the Barmy Army.” Good luck with that.

8.21am GMT

And here’s John Starbuck, sorting out my Greek theology for me. “Good morning. The Greek god of disarray [Preamble, below] is really a goddess: Eris, the one with the golden apple who started the Trojan war. Mischief incarnate, her.” Well, there are times when Tests at Cape Town seem to be going on for ten years.

8.16am GMT

The first email of the day comes from John Phaceas, who sees my line about England’s top three and goes one better. “ ‘Sibley, Crawley and Denly, who sound more like a set of adverbs than a source of runs.’ Nice turn of phrase Tim. Though the image that sprang to my mind was of competing Bradford rag-and-bone men.”

8.06am GMT

As expected, it’s Zak Crawley in for the injured Rory Burns, Ollie Pope for Jonny Bairstow, and Dom Bess doing his utmost to stand in for Jofra Archer. The bowling could be all too medium-fast. South Africa, in a much calmer place, make only one change, Pieter Malan for the injured Aiden Markram. They, like England, have three players in the top six with fewer than five Test caps apiece.

England 1 Sibley, 2 Crawley, 3 Denly, 4 Root (capt), 5 Stokes, 6 Pope, 7 Buttler (wkt), 8 Curran, 9 Bess, 10 Broad, 11 Anderson.

8.01am GMT

“We’re going to bat first,” says Joe Root. And that big smile is back on his face.

10.51pm GMT

Morning everyone and welcome to England’s first Test of the 2020s. It feels like the last Test of an Ashes winter: half the team injured, replacements flying in, wheels falling off. Two weeks ago it was South Africa who were in disarray. Now they’re one up and feeling quietly pleased with themselves, while disarray, like a Greek god, has changed sides on a whim. England’s luck has gone from bad to curse – first a flu epidemic, then Jofra Archer’s bad elbow, now a football injury taking Rory Burns out of the whole series. If Alastair Cook was due at this game as a commentator, he’d probably find himself playing in it.

England’s top three may well be Sibley, Crawley and Denly, who sound more like a set of adverbs than a source of runs. Sibley has played three Tests, Crawley one; Sibley has 74 Test runs, which is 73 more than Crawley. Denly, who’s on 651, has at least found a way of making uncharacteristically dour fifties, but England may need a bit more than that here. Newlands, in Cape Town, is made for batting, almost as much as for taking pictures.

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Published on January 03, 2020 01:32

Michael van Gerwen 3-7 Peter Wright: PDC world darts championship final – as it happened

Peter Wright exorcised all his ghosts in one fell swoop, producing a nerveless display to beat Michael van Gerwen and finally become world champion at the age of 49

9.30pm GMT

That’s it for tonight’s blog, so I’ll leave you with a report from Ally Pally. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

9.25pm GMT

There’s so much affection for Peter Wright among the crowd and in the Sky Sports studio. He’s a thoroughly decent guy, who has waited so long for this, and I’m chuffed to bits for him. At the age of 49, when most thought his time had passed, he has reached the promised land.

Wayne Mardle makes a very good point on Sky. Wright has won it the hard way. The draw didn’t open up; he had to take out Jeffrey de Zwaan in the last 16, and then the big two - Price and van Gerwen - in the semi-final and final.

9.20pm GMT

The doubles decided the game. Van Gerwen took out 40 per cent, Wright 55 per cent - and his timing was better as well. There were spells when van Gerwen went berserk on the trebles, but Wright never really looked like he was feeling the strain. In the context of all those previous defeats, it was a glorious performance.

9.17pm GMT

Here’s Peter Wright again

“I’ve calmed down now! You should never give up; it doesn’t matter how many times you get beaten. I used to get beaten by Phil Taylor, Gary Anderson all the time. But I’ve done it. Thanks to all my family – Jo, Mandy, I love you – and everyone back home.”

9.15pm GMT

Here’s Michael van Gerwen

“I’m very disappointed but what you can do? Every important shot I missed, he took his out – his finishing was phenomenal. I can only blame myself. I had several chances to go in front, but when you don’t take them against a player like Peter Wright, you’re not gonna win, simple as that.

9.14pm GMT

Peter Wright is the world champion

“That sounds amazing, doesn’t it? Sorry to Michael. The chances I used to give him, he gave me them tonight. He deserved a lot more sets. But hey, that’s a nice ‘champion of the world’ thing. Argh!

9.11pm GMT

He survived a match dart in the first game, against Noel Malicdem, but he has without doubt been the best player in the tournament. Most of us thought his chance had gone, and he went out in the early rounds in the last two years, but now he has done it.

9.10pm GMT

If Peter Wright ever tries to change his darts again, he should be arrested for self-harm.

9.10pm GMT

Michael van Gerwen 3-7 Peter Wright The match was far closer than the score suggests. MvG was beaten at his own game, with Peter Wright doing the right things at the right moments. His doubling, under such incredible pressure, was immense.

9.07pm GMT

Wright has exorcised all his ghosts in one fell swoop, and he’s in floods of tears! These are lovely scenes. Van Gerwen is gracious in defeat, as is always the case. Wright’s doubling was just too good. He missed two at D10 for the title, and must have been starting to wonder if it was happening again. But he nailed it with his last dart, and he was in tears before he had collected his darts from the board. All that heartache is just prologue now: he’s the world champion!

9.05pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS AGAIN! Van Gerwen 3-6 Wright (legs: 1-2)

Wright has another great chance of a break, leaving 76 after 12. He hits T20 first dart and then pings his old friend D8. He’s one leg away from the promised land – and he has the darts.

9.03pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS! Van Gerwen 3-6 Wright (legs: 1-1)

This is astonishing. Wright misses the bull for a 12-darter, and MvG returns to hit D6 and go out in 10. More importantly, it’s a break of throw.

9.03pm GMT

It would have been a break as well.

9.02pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS! Van Gerwen 3-6 Wright (legs: 0-1)

And now he’s only two legs away. Wright breaks the throw in 13 darts, finishing on D12, and van Gerwen is almost at the point of no return. Wright’s performance has been glorious.

9.00pm GMT

Wright is one set away from the darts world championship! He left 130 after nine, van Gerwen 100. Wright could only manage 60 – but van Gerwen missed two more at doubles! His doubling is going to cost him his world title. Peter Wright is doing the right things at the right moments.

Wright took out tops to win the set, and van Gerwen was so discombobulated that he walked off the stage, thinking there was a break.

8.57pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-5 Wright (legs: 2-2)

Wright misses two darts for a 6-3 lead! Van Gerwen takes out D8, and now we have yet another crucial fifth leg. Wright is throwing to move within one set of glory.

8.55pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-5 Wright (legs: 1-2)

Van Gerwen’s 13th maximum gives him half a chance of a break – and then he misses the bull for a 164! Wright then misses D10 for 128. Oh my days. Van Gerwen comes back for 25, and he misses two more at D8! This is so tense. Wright then takes out D5, last dart in hand, to give within one leg of a 6-3 lead! Van Gerwen has missed too many important doubles.

8.52pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-5 Wright (legs: 1-1)

Van Gerwen has gone off the boil since he had that storming spell from sets 3-7. Saying which, he cleans up 128 on D10 for a 15-darter. But he has to find a way to break Wright in this set.

8.51pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-5 Wright (legs: 0-1)

A comfortable hold for Wright, with van Gerwen back on 170. This is starting to slip away from him.

8.47pm GMT

Both players are averaging 104. The doubles have been the difference: van Gerwen is on a solid 42 per cent, Wright an exceptional 62 per cent.

8.45pm GMT

Wright has pinched it! It was a very nervy final leg, but MvG missed one dart at tops and Wright took out D16. He’s two sets away from being world champion – and he has the darts in the next one.

8.42pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-4 Wright (legs: 2-2)

Yet another Big Fifth Leg coming up. If van Gerwen holds, it’s 4-4. If Wright breaks, he’ll be two sets away from the promised land.

8.41pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-4 Wright (legs: 2-1)

An unusually poor leg from both players – but van Gerwen won’t care. With Wright waiting on D4, van Gerwen takes out 96 in two darts for a crucial hold.

8.38pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-4 Wright (legs: 1-1)

Wright, again under pressure, starts with a 180 on his own throw. But van Gerwen is still on his case, hitting 180 on his second visit. Wright holds his nerve to pop a 12-darter of his own. The standard is quite majestic.

8.37pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 3-4 Wright (legs: 1-0)

Van Gerwen has the darts in this set to make it 4-4. He starts with an effortless 12-darter, hoovering up 124 at the end. This is just brilliant.

8.35pm GMT

“MVG starting to look annoyed now - which doesn’t bode well for Wright,” says Stephen Carr. “The former has gears to go through whereas I don’t think Wright has. Testimony to MVG’s ability as Wright is playing so well.”

Wright has been much better on doubles, though, and if he stays at 60 per cent win I think he’ll win. Whether he will is another matter. It’s been a fascinating game, and a bit like watching the old MvG - astonishing scoring and some dodgy doubling.

8.32pm GMT

Van Gerwen leaves 53 after nine on his own throw, and cleans it up in two darts to take the set against the throw. That’s huge.

8.30pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS! Van Gerwen 2-4 Wright (legs: 2-1)

That’s a huge moment! Van Gerwen hits the bullseye to take out 84 and move within one leg of taking the set against the darts. This is some game, certainly the best of the tournament.

8.28pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 2-4 Wright (legs: 1-1)

More ludicrous scoring from van Gerwen, who hits a 180 and a 177 en route to an 11-darter. Big leg, this next one.

8.27pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 2-4 Wright (legs: 0-1)

Wright has the darts in this set, with the chance to go 5-2 ahead. Van Gerwen almost breaks, missing D7 for a 134, and Wright takes out D20 at the first opportunity. Wright is 60 per cent on doubles, van Gerwen just 33. That’s the game.

8.25pm GMT

Wright takes the set 3-0 on the van Gerwen throw! MvG missed three more at double – that’s becoming a problem – and that allowed Wright to take out 80.

8.22pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 2-3 Wright (legs: 0-2)

Wright is the better player at the moment. He takes out 81 again, this time in 11 darts, to go within one leg of a 4-2 lead.

8.21pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS! Van Gerwen 2-3 Wright (legs: 0-1)

Brilliant stuff from Wright, who withstood an onslaught from van Gerwen and now leads against the throw in the sixth set. He broke van Gerwen in 12, taking out 81 on D16.

8.16pm GMT

Wright breaks the van Gerwen throw to win the set! Van Gerwen missed one at D16 - that’s seven in a row he’s missed at double - and Wright calmly took out 96.

8.13pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 2-2 Wright (legs: 1-2)

Oh my days. Van Gerwen somehow misses six darts at double, allowing Wright to hold despite being behind throughout the leg.

8.11pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS BACK! Van Gerwen 2-2 Wright (legs: 1-1)

Wright hits seven perfect darts before missing T19. The crowd boo but the break of throw is far more important than a nine, and Wright returns to take D16 for a 10-darter. This is glorious.

8.09pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS! Van Gerwen 2-2 Wright (legs: 1-0)

This is a vital set for Wright, who has the throw. If he loses this he might start to fear the worst – not least because van Gerwen is playing devastatingly well. He goes out in 12 to break again, and has now won seven of the last nine legs.

8.07pm GMT

The match averages

8.06pm GMT

“Having the final on New Year’s Day is a bad idea,” says Roger Kirkby. “The main players in the event are hungover, knackered and voiceless. They don’t jump up and down much either.”

8.05pm GMT

“Evening and happy new year to you, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “Is there any instance in which VAR might be introduced to liven things down a bit?”

They could use it to assess the sobriety of those making their way to the bar. Decision: no pint.

8.03pm GMT

Oof. In another high-class leg, both players miss one dart for the set before van Gerwen takes out D8 to level the match. The van Gerwen surge is one of the greatest sights in sport, and the last two sets have been MvG porn. But Wright was good enough to stay with him in the fourth and could easily have pinched it. This is blistering stuff.

8.00pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 1-2 Wright (legs: 2-2)

A really impressive hold from Wright, who has been battered in the last few legs.

7.59pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 1-2 Wright (legs: 2-1)

This is great stuff now. Van Gerwen hits 180 and 140 to take his match average up t0 107, and misses D18 for a 12-darter. No matter: he returns to clean up in 14.

7.57pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS BACK! Van Gerwen 1-2 Wright (legs: 1-1)

Van Gerwen ignores that inconvenient cock-up in the previous leg and continues to pummel trebles. Eventually he takes out D18 for a 13-darter.

7.55pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS! Van Gerwen 1-2 Wright (legs: 0-1)

Van Gerwen has been punished! He declined the bull from 82, and then Wright took out 140 – the same finish that saved him against Noel Malicdem.

7.53pm GMT

Awesome. Van Gerwen takes the third set, on the Wright throw, in a total of 37 darts. His average in that set was 122.

7.51pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 0-2 Wright (legs: 2-0)

He’s on one now! Van Gerwen has responded ferociously to going two sets down, and holds with a majestic 11-darter.

7.50pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS! Van Gerwen 0-2 Wright (legs: 1-0)

Van Gerwen breaks in 13 darts, starting with a 180 and finishing with D12. He declined a bull opportunity from 164, with Wright on 145. The gamble paid off.

7.48pm GMT

Wright has blown leads against van Gerwen before, most famously in the 2017 Premier League final, so we shouldn’t get carried away. But it’s been a hugely impressive start.

7.44pm GMT

Peter Wright takes the second set against the darts! He nails tops for another authoritative 13-dart leg, and at the moment he is undeniably the better player. Wright is averaging 105 to van Gerwen’s 99, and the first two sets could hardly have gone any better.

7.42pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS! Van Gerwen 0-1 Wright (legs: 1-2)

Wright starts with a 180 on the van Gerwen throw. He is outscoring MvG and leaves 81 after nine. And he takes it out, last dart in hand, to move within a leg of a 2-0 lead!

7.41pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 0-1 Wright (legs: 1-1)

A comfortable hold for Wright, with van Gerwen well back on 136. Since the first leg, Wright’s doubling has been impressive.

7.39pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 0-1 Wright (legs: 1-0)

This is warming up nicely. Van Gerwen misses four at double, Wright can’t take out tops and van Gerwen returns to take out D6.

7.34pm GMT

The averages so far

7.33pm GMT

Wright takes the first set on tops – but only just. Van Gerwen wired the bull for 170, which would have been a savage blow, and Wright returned to take the leg in 14 darts. He really couldn’t afford to lose that set.

7.31pm GMT

VAN GERWEN HOLDS! Van Gerwen 0-0 Wright (legs: 2-2) Van Gerwen nails the bull to take out 86 – and that means we have the first crucial fifth leg of the night. This is where van Gerwen can be deadly.

7.29pm GMT

WRIGHT HOLDS! Van Gerwen 0-0 Wright (legs: 1-2)

Wright has started strongly, with more trebles and fewer loose darts than van Gerwen. After MvG misses D5 for a break, Wright takes out tops.

7.26pm GMT

WRIGHT BREAKS BACK! Van Gerwen 0-0 Wright (legs: 1-1)

An immediate break back for Wright, who takes out tops for a 13-darter.

7.24pm GMT

VAN GERWEN BREAKS! Van Gerwen 0-0 Wright (legs: 1-0)

Wright goes off with 60, MvG with just 34. That allows Wright to take control of the leg with 140 and then the first 180 of the final – but then he misses three at D20 and D10, and van Gerwen burgles the leg by taking out 88 in two darts.

7.21pm GMT

Michael van Gerwen hurries towards the stage to the sound of Seven Nation Army - and a few boos from the crowd, for some reason. Eejits. That could be a factor tonight, as it was when he lost that epic semi-final against Rob Cross two years ago.

7.19pm GMT

It’s time for the walk-ons. Peter Wright is first, dancing across the stage to Don’t Stop the Party by Pitbull. He looks slightly nervous, no more than that.

7.14pm GMT

The tournament stats are almost identical: both are 44 per cent on the doubles, with MvG averaging 98.14 and Wright 98.29. There is a compelling argument that it has been a bit too easy for van Gerwen, and that Wright will push him to produce his A-game.

7.12pm GMT

Van Gerwen is chasing a fourth world title, having won three of the last six. His big target is six - one more than Raymond van Barneveld’s Dutch record.

7.01pm GMT

Peter Wright has won the bullseye and will throw first.

6.44pm GMT

“I’ll be rooting for Snakebite,” says J.R. in Illinois. “I’m not a huge fan of his but I’d like him to get this one. Outside of Fallon Sherrock’s run I think the best moment of the tournament was when Snakebite was under massive pressure against Malicdem and he won a leg by finishing 302 with six perfect darts. Kaboom!”

Yeah, you’d have to have a pretty hard heart – or be very, very Dutch – to begrudge Peter Wright. It makes no sense that he has only won a single UK Open.

6.29pm GMT

Pre-match reading

5.51pm GMT

Hello. Everyone’s looking for an angle these days, a slightly different take on things that makes them seem more interesting than the average keyboard expert. But sometimes you can’t ignore the obvious. Take tonight’s world darts championship final at Alexandra Palace between Michael van Gerwen and Peter Wright. You just can’t get past the fact that it’s a serial winner against a serial runner-up; that, when these two meet in a final, it invariably ends with Wright saying “I’ll get him next time” during a rueful post-match interview.

Wright is a magnificent player, one of the best never to win a world title, but his record in major finals is desperate. He has lost 12 out of 13, nine of them to van Gerwen, and it is cruelly symbolic that the only time he did win a major – the 2017 UK Open – was when van Gerwen was absent through injury.

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Published on January 01, 2020 13:30

Newcastle United 0-3 Leicester City: Premier League – as it happened

Leicester were emphatic winners in a strange game at St James’ Park, with Newcastle losing four players to injury in the first 46 minutes

5.05pm GMT

That’s it for today’s blog. I’ll leave you with a freshly baked match report from St James’ Park. Goodnight!

5.02pm GMT

4.55pm GMT

4.53pm GMT

Peep peep! Leicester consolidate second place with an emphatic victory at St James’ Park. The match was over in the 46th minute when Newcastle, already 2-0 down, suffered their fourth injury of the match. Newcastle’s grotesque misfortune is not Leicester’s problem, though, and they had already demonstrated their superiority before Newcastle went down to 10 men. Ayoze Perez scored against his old club, with James Maddison and Hamza Choudhury both getting on the scoresheet with brilliant long-range shots.

4.51pm GMT

90 min There will be three minutes of added time.

4.47pm GMT

Hamza Choudhury, whose every touch has been booed, gets his first goal in senior football with a brilliant finish. Ndidi played the ball square to him, 22 yards from goal, and he nonchalantly sidefooted an immaculate rising shot that beat Dubravka and flew in off the underside of the bar.

4.45pm GMT

86 min “Sounds like a bad day to have Kane and Vardy up front in Fantasy Football...” banters Matt Dony.

4.42pm GMT

84 min Another change for Leicester. Wes Morgan on, Jonny Evans off.

4.40pm GMT

81 min Nothing is happening. Both teams are waiting for the final whistle.

4.36pm GMT

77 min Hamza Choudhury, a popular man in these parts, replaces the brilliant James Maddison.

4.35pm GMT

76 min Leicester have had almost 80 per cent of the possession in this half. That’s no great surprise, given their superiority and numerical advantage.

4.34pm GMT

74 min “In the other game, Kane just limped off with a hamstring,” says Joe Pearson. Spurs are still losing 1-0 to Southampton.

4.31pm GMT

There’s more soccer to come

4.30pm GMT

69 min Almiron tries a dummy on his own byline, gets himself in a tangle and knocks the ball behind for a corner. Happily for his self-esteem levels, nothing comes of it.

4.28pm GMT

68 min Gray miskicks eight yards from goal after a precise cutback from Tielemans. I think Perez got in his way.

4.28pm GMT

67 min Newcastle would certainly take a 2-0 defeat. It’s easy to be critical but they have had grotesque luck with injuries in the last few weeks.

4.27pm GMT

66 min Perez is flagged offside after being put through on goal by Ricardo. He tries a cocky chip that drifts just wide of the far post - but replays show he was probably onside, so had he scored it would have counted.

4.22pm GMT

63 min Demarai Gray replaces Kelechi Iheanacho for Leicester.

4.22pm GMT

62 min Most teams in Leicester’s position would declare at 2-0. But they are a ruthless bunch, as Southampton found out earlier in the season, and they look hungry for more.

4.19pm GMT

60 min Dubravka makes a vital double save from Iheanacho and Perez at the end of a superb Leicester counter-attack.

4.19pm GMT

59 min Tielemans is booked for a foul on Fernandez. Moments later, Joelinton mishits a shot from the edge of the area after a cutback from Muto. That was a decent opportunity, but he looks so low on confidence.

4.14pm GMT

55 min Another vicious left-footed drive from Maddison, this time from 30 yards, is well held by the leaping Dubravka.

4.12pm GMT

53 min Maddison cracks a free-kick wide from the edge of the box.

4.11pm GMT

53 min “Happy New Year, Rob, and here’s to Newcastle 0-5 Leicester,” says Charles Antaki. “Not because I have any especial fondness for the one or animus against the other, but because Arsenal sit below Newcastle United for the first time in (I could look it up, but it’s probably 100 years), and this might help. Arsenal fans are now used to looking for any small comfort - petty, mean-minded and self-centred as it might be. Also a portent of what 2020 will bring in society more generally, I fear.”

4.10pm GMT

51 min Schar is leaving the field. Newcastle are down to 10 men, having suffered four injuries in the first 46 minutes. Happy new year.

4.09pm GMT

49 min Schar is back on the field, but he can barely run.

4.07pm GMT

48 min Schar is having his hamstring strapped on the sideline, with a view to carrying on, but if it’s a hamstring injury he surely won’t last long.

4.06pm GMT

47 min Now it looks like Fabian Schar has pulled a hamstring! This is astonishing. Newcastle could be down to 10 men for the rest of the game.

4.05pm GMT

46 min Newcastle begin the second half. They’ve made a third enforced change at half-time, with Sean Longstaff on for the injured Jonjo Shelvey.

3.52pm GMT

Half-time reading

3.49pm GMT

Peep peep! Leicester have been too good for injury-hit Newcastle, although both goals came from sad errors by Florian Lejeune. Ayoze Perez’s opener was good; James Maddison’s second was spectacular.

3.48pm GMT

45+3 min Another injury for Newcastle: Emil Krafth is on for Javier Manquillo.

3.46pm GMT

45+1 min Leicester have been rampant since they scored the first goal, and Newcastle could do with a half-time break.

3.45pm GMT

45 min Another injury for Newcastle: DeAndre Yedlin replaces Jetro Willems.

3.44pm GMT

43 min Dubravka makes a fine reaction save from Iheanacho! Perez was put clear on the right and crossed first time towards Iheanacho at the far post. He mishit his shot, with the ball zipping awkwardly off the pitch, but it took a deflection off the sliding Fernandez and was going in before it was pawed away by Dubravka.

3.43pm GMT

42 min This could get ugly for Newcastle. It’s not particularly pretty as it is.

3.42pm GMT

41 min A half-chance for Almiron, who heads over the bar from Shelvey’s imaginative, outside-of-the-foot cross.

3.41pm GMT

Poor Florian Lejeune was at fault again. His sloppy clearance was intercepted by Ricardo, and then Perez played the loose ball back towards Maddison. He zipped infield from the right, onto his left foot, and rifled a blistering 20-yard drive into the top corner.

3.39pm GMT

What a goal from James Maddison!

3.38pm GMT

That’s another hideous defensive error from Newcastle. Lejeune’s pass across the edge of his own penalty area was too short and intercepted by Perez. He moved into the area, chopped back inside Schar and screwed a right-footed shot that took a slight deflection and nestled in the far corner.

3.36pm GMT

Ayoze Perez scores against his old club!

3.33pm GMT

33 min Another booming corner from Maddison is headed over by Ndidi, under pressure on the six-yard line. He couldn’t quite get over the ball.

3.32pm GMT

33 min “Stress free, huh?” says JR in Illinois. “Stress free my behind. West Brom are facing Leeds in fewer than two hours in a battle for the top of the Championship and I’m having kittens over here. My Baggies need to snap out of their recent form or they’re in for a schooling. And then right after that there’s the darts final which is nerve-racking even if you don’t have a rooting interest. I tell you it’s enough to have me running to the medicine cabinet to double up on my blood pressure medication.”

3.31pm GMT

31 min Ah, the first replay suggests Joelinton was onside when he missed that chance. Meanwhile Fernandez is booked for pulling back Maddison, who had rolled him classily on the left wing.

3.30pm GMT

30 min Maddison’s booming corner is punched away by Dubravka. We still haven’t seen a replay of that Joelinton chance, not that it really matters.

3.27pm GMT

27 min Leicester appeal unsuccessfully for a penalty when Maddison falls over after a challenge from Willems. There was nothing in that.

3.26pm GMT

25 min: Joelinton misses a great chance! He ran clear onto Shelvey’s long pass, and though he looked a mile offside he was allowed to continue. His stabbed shot was blocked superbly by Schmeichel, with the ball looping up in the air, but Joelinton could only head it back across goal rather than into the net. We haven’t seen a replay but I’d be surprised if he was onside.

3.23pm GMT

23 min One consolation for Newcastle is that, for all Leicester’s dominance, Dubravka has only had a couple of difficult saves to make.

3.20pm GMT

20 min “Two likeable teams, and in Almiron and Maddison, two of my favourite players in the league (plus the added bonus of Shelvey, who will always be a hero after his magnificent verbal volley at Fergie),” says Matt Dony. “Purely in terms of league position, I guess I want Newcastle to win, but I’m happy to see either side do well. A nice stress-free watch on a quiet day.”

Nice. Likeable. Stress-free. Quiet. It’s how the 2020s roll.

3.19pm GMT

19 min Schar’s long-range shot is comfortably held by Schmeichel.

3.18pm GMT

18 min This is painfully one-sided at the moment. Newcastle can’t get a foothold in the game.

3.16pm GMT

15 min Tielemans drills a sweet left-footed drive from 20 yards that is pushed away by Dubravka, and Fernandez does brilliantly to reach the loose ball a split-second before Perez. Had he not been in Big Ron’s Wide Awake Club, Perez would have had a tap-in.

3.12pm GMT

13 min Leicester are dominating possession, as expected, although they look most dangerous when they have the opportunity to counter-attack.

3.11pm GMT

11 min Perez neatly releases Chilwell, whose driven cross/shot is palmed away by the flying Dubravka. Iheanacho was waiting behind him in front of an open goal.

3.10pm GMT

9 min “With the title race settled (and we both know it is) I’ve been thinking about Manager of the Year,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “I suspect if Liverpool cruise it to winning by 10+ points that will go to Jurgen Klopp, but it’s much more fun to gauge the award on who has done the most with the least, or under the most adversity. I’ll tell you who would get my vote, even though he won’t win it in a million years, Graham Potter at Brighton. Having just watched the Seagulls hold Frank Lampard’s Chelsea (another contender) to a draw through shrewd substitutions and tactics I’m not so sure that there’s a better manager in the league, showponies included. You?”

Well, Klopp would be 1st, 2nd and 3rd, but aside from him I’d go for Chris Wilder. I do like Potter a lot, though.

3.07pm GMT

6 min Leicester have started very impressively, their swagger apparently not affected by those defeats against Manchester City and Liverpool.

3.05pm GMT

3 min Maddison plays a lovely pass inside the full-back for Ricardo, who wins a corner. Leicester are playing a back three, not the usual 4-1-4-1. One of those three centre-halves, Jonny Evans, almost scores from the corner. Maddison curled it towards the near post, where Evans’ firm header was palmed up in the air by Dubravka. It came back to Evans, who tried to loop a follow-up header into the far corner. Dubravka reached over a couple of players to flap the ball down, and one of the Newcastle defenders belted it clear.

3.00pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Leicester get the match under way, kicking from left to right.

2.59pm GMT

After a comforting blast of Local Hero at St James’ Park, the players assume their positions. It’s time for some more association football.

2.52pm GMT

“Has there ever been a season when so few teams are able to hold form for more than a couple of weeks? (There is an exception, I know),” says Gary Naylor. “What’s causing it? Has it always been like this? Is it all VAR’s fault - as everything else seems to be? All I know is that I don’t know.”

My feeling is that it was like this in the first half of almost every season until inequality kicked in in the mid-2000s. Have a look, for example, at the table in December 2001. The first half of that season was gloriously unpredictable.

2.27pm GMT

The lunchtime games have finished

2.04pm GMT

There’s no Jamie Vardy in the Leicester squad, which is a terrible blow for those who hate Fantasy Football League banter. He has a tight calf.

Newcastle (3-4-1-2) Dubravka; Schar, Fernandez, Lejeune; Manquillo, Hayden, Shelvey, Willems; Almiron; Joelinton, Muto.
Substitutes: Darlow, Krafth, Yedlin, Atsu, S Longstaff, Carroll, Gayle.

9.50am GMT

Hello and welcome to live coverage of Newcastle v Leicester from St James’ Park. Newcastle have come a long way since the return fixture in September, when they were humiliated 5-0. Steve Bruce, the subject of disgraceful ridicule around that time, turned things round impressively, and his side found a nice comfortable spot in mid-table.

Things are slightly less cosy after three defeats in four, and with a grim injury list that is getting longer rather than shorter. Newcastle are 11th, six points clear of the relegation places, but they have some tricky fixtures coming up and will want to avoid going on the kind of run that can turn mid-table security into a desperate fight for survival. Still, when they skulked away from the King Power Stadium in September, they would have taken this position.

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Published on January 01, 2020 09:05

South Africa beat England by 107 runs to take 1-0 series lead – as it happened

England crumbled to 268 all out as South Africa’s seamers wrapped up victory in the first Test at CenturionThe Spin: sign up and get our free weekly cricket email

1.28pm GMT

So farewell 2019, a never-uneventful year for cricket in general and English cricket in particular. Even by this country’s quirky standards, some memorable heights have been hit and some 90s-esque depths have been hinted at. And South Africa thoroughly deserve to take a series lead to Cape Town; they bowled with more discipline and better plans, they seized what opportunities they had with the bat in conditions that weren’t always easy, and generally did stuff that England failed to do. The first-innings batting was sloppy, and even after a better effort second time around, there was little sense that they’d be able to dig in for an improbable win. The toss choice and team choice still suggest a lack of conviction in strategy and personnel. Both teams are in kind-of new eras though, all of which makes the rest of this series intriguing.

And with that, and Vic Marks’s match report below, I’ll wish you the happiest of new years on behalf of all of us in OBO Towers. Thanks for your emails and company. Bye.

1.21pm GMT

Some thoughts from Chris Silverwood: “It was a difficult challenge, we did have high hopes, we didn’t score many runs. The openers gave us a chance – I know Dom [Sibley] was disappointed to get out on 29 and he was part and parcel of that partnership that had us here today with a hope of winning.

“When we got here the wicket was a bit damp and it did something most of the day, and we thought day two and three would be the best days to bat, and day three was.” On Test selections for Cape Town: “We’ve got to see how Leach recovers [from illness], we’ve got Parky [Matt Parkinson] here, Bess here, we have some good spinners here so we’ll see.

1.18pm GMT

Joe Root speaks: “It’s been a really tough week off the field – 10 guys going down ill, but credit to everyone; they’ve stood up, and tried to put in the best performance possible. It’s not been long since we’ve seen similar chases from a similar group of players. We were in a good position at lunch with me and Ben there, and needed to negotiate new ball afterwards. But the game was won and lost with the seven for 39 collapse in the first innings, though good to bounce back and bat better in the second innings.

“The toss was a 50-50 call, you get a side 111-5 and you think you’ve got ahead of the game, but credit to them, they played very well. Archer is a huge talent, still at the start of his Test career, and responded well after a difficult tour of New Zealand, where he had a lot thrown at him.

12.57pm GMT

Some feedback, inevitably; some Bairstow and Foakes chat, inevitably: Maybe we should look at the England wicketkeeper issue like a school exam multipule choice question,” writes Dan Hunt. “Pick one of the following three to bat at No 7 for England in a Test series. Your selection will also keep wicket for the side: A) An experienced professional with a test career of two halves. His early appearances were successful and productive. His later performances offered diminishing returns as the inadvertent price of becoming the world’s best ODI opener.B) An experienced white ball cricketer with a level head on his shoulders and the ability to regular transform limited overs games. His red ball record is minimal but has shown some glimpses of the destructive prowess he so regularly shows in other formats.C) A first class regular although a few years younger than the other other two choices. Widely acknowledged as the best wicketkeeper in England his batting, he has, on his limited international appearances so far has tended to over deliver against expectations. Seems to me like we should be moving on to option C....”

12.55pm GMT

Who’ll be man of the match then? De Kock for his catches and decisive first-innings rescue act? Rabada for his seven wickets? Philander for his metronomic precision? Nortje and Petersen also played key roles in what was a fine all-round team effort. England, meanwhile, end 2019 having won only four Tests, one of which was a dead rubber, another being an almost-dead one, and one of the others being one of the greatest things that has ever happened in any sporting arena ever. Typical England.

12.52pm GMT

The South African players are high-fiving each other gleefully here, and why not: this win brings some much-needed feelgood glow to South African cricket after a pretty horrendous 2019, on and off the pitch. Graeme Smith, Mark Boucher and co might contribute to that, after a fine first Test overseeing things. And they’ve been on top of England ever since that second-afternoon collapse. It was a poor decision to bowl first, but their lack of all-round longevity as a Test batting unit makes them hard to rely on whatever the circumstances.

12.46pm GMT

93rd over: England 268 (Anderson 0), target 376 Buttler has only one option now – hit, and hit hard, which he does to spectacular effect off the first ball of Rabada’s over, belting it high over long-on and into the grass banks for SIX, but it doesn’t last because he’s caught in the deep next ball. Broad hoiks the next, shortish ball for two to get off the mark, and promptly inside-edges for another couple. England aren’t going to die wondering anyway, as Broad then spoons up another chance that just eludes a diving Maharaj on the offside, before he’s clean bowled to clean up the match

12.44pm GMT

Buttler has decided an attacking frenzy is the only route to a miracle, and clouts the first ball of Rabada’s over for six, but perishes trying the same thing next ball, skying up in the air for Pretorius to take a steepler at long-on.

12.39pm GMT

92nd over: England 256-8 (Buttler 16, Broad 0), target 376 Archer expresses his confidence in Archer by running a single off the first ball of Nortje’s over. But it’s not repaid as the No 9 is done for pace and can only edge to slip. Nortje has three wickets, and deservedly so – his introduction has turned this game decisively in South Africa’s direction, though it was inching that way in any case. Four wickets with the new ball have removed all doubt.

12.37pm GMT

Archer flicks a too-quick delivery to first slip, where Van der Dussen this time takes the catch.

12.32pm GMT

91st over: England 255-7 Buttler 15, Archer 4), target 376 Curran offers a hint of what he and Buttler’s victory strategy would have been if he hadn’t edged behind a delivery after slashing Rabada over backward point for four off the first ball of the over. Archer, much-maligned as a batsman and by some even as a bowler of late, is off the mark with a four first ball. So have that.

12.30pm GMT

Curran is done like a kipper by one that’s slanted across then straightens, takes his edge, and that’s him gone. Along with the game.

12.27pm GMT

90th over: England 247-6 Buttler 15, Curran 5), target 376 Because he’s the sort of cricketer he is, Sam Curran flays and edges Nortje – and it flashes through the third slip area for four. Buttler then ups the ante and plays the second classy off-drive for four of his innings, though he’s then almost caught at short leg next ball but the fielder can’t quite scramble there in time. No matter, because the next ball is casually swung for SIX – in the way only Buttler can – over the square leg boundary.

12.22pm GMT

89th over: England 232-6 Buttler 5, Curran 0), target 376 Buttler flicks at a wide one from Rabada down leg – it brushes his pads but a diving De Kock can only parry it. He’s then bothered by one that jags right back into his left thigh, off both seam and pitch-crack. England aren’t going to survive this.

Has any cricketer been discussed in a match he’s not playing in more than Ben Foakes has here? Here’s some more on that subject from Neil Brock:

12.18pm GMT

88th over: England 232-6 Buttler 5, Curran 0), target 376 Nortje replaces Philander, and Du Plessis’ bowling change is swiftly vindicated by Root’s dismissal, his one slightly loose shot of the session, his footwork static, though it was just the sort of ball that tempts even the finest of batsmen. Nortje comes round the wicket at the new man in, the left-handed Curran, making him play and completing a wicket maiden.

“As a dyed in the wool tyke,” writes Nick Smith (is there any other type?), “I feel obliged to defend YJB somewhat - during his and Buttler’s 100-odd tests, how often have they come in after the openers have yet again failed?” Yeah, like I said, the whole Test strategy and team has been confused.

12.14pm GMT

Nortje comes on and strikes second ball of his spell, just as Rabada did a few overs back, and it’s a big one, a perfectly pitched out-nibbler in the corridor that the England captain edges behind. That should be South Africa’s Test now.

12.10pm GMT

87th over: England 232-5 (Root 48, Buttler 5), target 376 Root cuts loose, literally, top-handing past backward point for four, again benefiting from playing late. He’s able to flick a single to leg too as batting begins to look a little easier. If these two can get to tea unscathed then … nah, forget it, I’m not going there. In a random development, a couple of England fans appear to be singing Sheffield United’s “greasy chip butty” song

12.07pm GMT

86th over: England 227-5 (Root 43, Buttler 5), target 376 A short extra-cover is brought in for Buttler, but he’s able to see out the over, judiciously leaving well at this point, and Philander’s swing too easy to pick to be tempted by. And it’s rounded off with a sumptuous, coaching-manual cover drive for four.

12.02pm GMT

85th over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Some more variable bounce from Rabada, including the first proper bouncer with the new ball, which Root gets under comfortably enough. He’s doing the right things here, the England captain, seeing the ball late onto the bat, and judging his lines and lengths well, until the last ball of the over, which zips past him at pace and low bounce and is too close for him to cut. Rabada the better of the two opening bowlers at this point.

11.59am GMT

84th over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Philander doesn’t make Buttler play enough in this over, granting the batsman some handy leaving practice. Another maiden.

@tomdaviesE17 - Bairstow and Buttler have more than 100 test caps between them. At what point does potential turn into perennial failures

11.55am GMT

83rd over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Rabada is discomforting England here, though Buttler manages to squeeze a single to get himself off the mark. Root, at least, is batting sensibly though, getting himself out of the way of the trickiest stuff.

The Bairstow chat begins: “I count myself a huge admirer of Jonny,” enumerates Tim Sanders, “and I thought it was a fair call to drop him for Tests with the requirement to rediscover his technique for first-class cricket. What then seemed daft was to recall him as soon as someone else got ill or injured. If the judgement is that he has work to do, then how does another player’s fitness change that?” He’s certainly now at that stage of his Test career where every failure will be considered damning rather than an aberration. He’s not looked Test-standard here, certainly.

11.49am GMT

82nd over: England 222-5 (Root 43, Buttler 0), target 376 Philander returns from the Pavilion End. He’s into that perfect offside-corridor groove straight away, and has Root driving and missing with a teasing away swinger. This could be a hell of a contest. A maiden.

11.44am GMT

81st over: England 222-5 (Root 43, Buttler 0), target 376 Rabada takes the new ball and his first delivery is overpitched, and Bairstow cashes in joyously, flicking through midwicket for four. But the joy doesn’t last, and YJB goes next ball – he has failed again, and at a pivotal time. Buttler is well beaten with an excellent couple of inswingers first up. This is a massive innings for him too, now, and he’s had a proper working over already with his first four deliveries faced.

Given how England fell away at five down in the first innings, South Africa are emphatic favourites now.

11.40am GMT

Rabada strikes with the second ball with the new nut! Bairstow had clipped the first for four but then edges a tempting wide away-swinger to third slip, where Hamza takes a good sharp catch on the rise.

11.37am GMT

80th over: England 218-4 (Root 43, Bairstow 5), target 376 Pretorius doesn’t look particularly threatening at this point, and Root flicks him away for two towards square leg, before Root is well beaten and struck on the pad with the final ball with the old ball, but it’s outside the line, and Du Plessis declines the review. There’s no inside edge either, invalidating gully’s attempt to claim the catch, which bounced just before him in any case. Now is the decisive time. New ball up next.

11.33am GMT

79th over: England 216-4 (Root 41, Bairstow 5), target 376 Root eases Maharaj away for a single at the start of the spinner’s final over before the new ball is due. He has a silly point in for Bairstow, who is necessarily watchful against some accurate bowling, however much his instincts might want him to clout him over the top.

11.29am GMT

78th over: England 215-4 (Root 40, Bairstow 5), target 376 Bairstow gets to face the seamers for the first time, coping comfortably with what Pretorius has to offer but without scoring.

Some South Africa team news: Aiden Markram’s self-inflicted hand injury (how many more times must cricketers be told that a man can’t win a fight with a locker) means the uncapped Keegan Petersen has been called into their squad for the second Test.

11.26am GMT

77th over: England 215-4 (Root 40, Bairstow 5), target 376 Another so-so over from Maharaj brings two singles. Meanwhile Abhijato Sensarma has a seasonal rhyme for us, which may or may not jinx things, depending on your affiliations:

No jokes, Ben Stokes was the biggest of England’s hopes

The spinner has tried to be the dream killer and make them hang onto their last ropes

11.23am GMT

76th over: England 213-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 4), target 376 Pretorius comes on for Nortje, but can’t find the same venom as his predecessor from that end, though he does have a shout for lbw against Root, shuffling across his stump, but it still looks to be going down leg, and too high, and the umpires are rightly haveing none of it.

11.19am GMT

75th over: England 212-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 4), target 376 Bairstow is gifted another Maharaj loosener from which to get off the mark, and the cut is emphatic and bound for the ropes. An easy four. There’s plenty in the pitch for the spinner, as you’d expect at this stage of the game, but he’s not quite found the control needed. Yet he’s still changed the mood with a key wicket, and deserves to continue until the new ball.

11.16am GMT

74th over: England 208-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 0), target 376 South Africa’s dander is suddenly up, and Root’s mood is scarcely improved by, first, a grubber that he can get nowhere near from Nortje; second, another that spits off the surface and straight into his sensitive regions, and third a more orthodox away-swinger that beats him all ends up. But he survives them, and then flicks a stray ball down legside backward of square which beats the man on the boundary to bring four more. A tremendous over of Test match cricket, that.

11.12am GMT

73rd over: England 204-4 (Root 35, Bairstow 0), target 376 I’d just typed that Maharaj isn’t on top of things at all yet, after another short and loose one was worked away easily by Root for a single, before he only goes and bowls Stokes with one that turns in sharply at the left-hander. That’ll learn me for banging on about Headingley and Perera. So now, let the YJB arguments begin! Which is what we’re all here for after all.

11.09am GMT

Maharaj brings one back into Stokes, who drags it onto his stumps. That came from nowhere.

11.07am GMT

72nd over: England 203-3 (Root 34, Stokes 14), target 376 Just as England may be buoyed by talk of Headingley as they go after this large target, you wonder if South Africa are haunted by their own fourth-innings nightmare this year, at the hands of Kusal Perera. Stokes flicks Nortje away for a well-run two and sees out the rest of the over comfortably enough.

11.03am GMT

71st over: England 201-3 (Root 34, Stokes 12), target 376 Philander is dragged from that end, and replaced by Maharaj as Du Plessis seeks some spin magic with the old ball. Stokes is after him from the off though, sweeping his first ball to the square leg boundary for four and clouting the fourth through the covers for another boundary. The first real sign of cutting loose from the newly gonged all-rounder. Root rounds off a highly productive over with an effortless cut for four more to take England past 200. England need “only” 175 more now.

10.58am GMT

70th over: England 188-3 (Root 30, Stokes 4), target 376 Nortje continues to get some brutish bounce from the pitch, rapping Root in the wrist with a short one speared down the onside. A fuller delivery enables the captain to add two runs, followed by a classy flick through midwicket for four. Dare I say it, but this has been an encouraging start to the afternoon for England.

10.54am GMT

69th over: England 182-3 (Root 24, Stokes 4), target 376 The magic mallet comes out again to bang down a divot by the crease at the bowler’s end, before Philander’s first ball – a real loosener, short and wide – is cut emphatically for four by Root, who scampers a single next ball. Philander is not looking so menacing from this end.

“I’ve read every BTL comment on every cricket article since about 2005, and it hasn’t done me any harm,” writes James Debens, from behind a 14-year-old pile of washing up and pizza boxes, before ruining my gag with a pay-off of his own. “In fact, the wondrous insights, perspicacity and clear thinking of the BTL community have helped the years fly by, here at Rampton.”

10.48am GMT

68th over: England 177-3 (Root 19, Stokes 4), target 376 The impressive Nortje returns from the Pavilion End. Root glides a shortish ball elegantly down to third man for a single – he’s looking Ok for a sick bloke – before Nortje torments Stokes from round the wicket again, ripping an absolute zinger away from his outside edge. This is going to be a tricky challenge for Stokes.

10.44am GMT

67th over: England 176-3 (Root 18, Stokes 4), target 376 The excellent Philander starts off the session, but from the opposite end to that from which he operated this morning. He relishes bowling at Root, though he’ll need a breather before the second new ball. He concedes a four though, Root timing an on-drive exquisitely past mid-on. There’s a bit of uneven bounce again, though I thought this pitch would be much more unplayable by now at the end of day two.

10.38am GMT

Before we return to the action, one more sage suggestion from Adrian Goldman: “I suggest Pasta-pesto with a salad. Dead simple, avoids all the hated food groups and - if you make your own pesto - you can add enough garlic to make sure that people leave soon after lunch. Problem sorted.
Adrian
(I am contributing content so moving the dial…)”

Personally, I would say the internet contains more content than consumption. Has anyone who has ever contributed to a 1,578-comment long debate actually read the previous 1,577 for example? Face it, people – we’re all howling into the void.

10.31am GMT

Mike Waters has some more serious cricketing thoughts to offer:

hi Rob, I have had the mixed fortune to be able to watch every ball from my recliner and also have empathy with the virus stricken by catching what may be the same affliction being suffered by the sqaud.

Having had to drag myself into work for Christmas day to cover a preareanged shift, fortunately spent mainly alone in an office, I have to commend anyone who has even managed to put whites on, never mind be involved on 90mph bowling in any capacity while fighting the most debiliating bug I can recall in my life.

10.26am GMT

Some lunchtime emails: “I thought I should come in peace before the (not so) YJB arrives at the crease and risks dividing us again,” says Brian Withington. “Think your Pareto-like odds assessment of 80:20 SA:Eng was fair at the off, but I wonder whether the fall of wickets and the recent balls to Root might have us heading towards the 89:10:1 (SA:Eng:tie) ratio which apparently is the internet lurkers principle - 89% just consume, 9% edit and only 1% actively create new content. Makes you wonder how this applies to OBO community?” As many as nine per cent edit?! Can’t say as I’ve noticed that being a particular feature of the interweb.

Meanwhile, Kim Thonger has a familiar culinary dilemma: “We have family arriving for lunch and I’m cooking risotto to break the culinary monotony of the last week. However in attendance are one vegetarian daughter, another daughter who hates mushrooms, an aunt who is allergic to prawns and two grandchildren who are appalled by rice. I can now empathise with the England selectors whose intractable problems appear to be of a similar size. We may scrap the risotto entirely and just have afters, a solution akin to cancelling all red ball cricket and focusing on The Hundred.” Nice analogy. The Hundred really is the butterscotch Angel Delight of cricketing competitions. Anyway, can’t mushroom-averse daughters usually be placated with fish fingers, and beans? They can when they’re younger anyhow.

10.18am GMT

Thanks Rob, and morning/afternoon everyone. So England need 205 in five sessions, and my inner Fred Boycott would love to see them drag this chase deep into the final day and give tomorrow’s OBOers some serious work to do. And given the sluggish rate England were forced to inch along at this morning, thanks to some excellent South African bowling, this all could still happen. Or England could be all out for 208 by half-eleven. Anyway, all to play for

10.02am GMT

Lunchtime reading

10.02am GMT

66th over: England 171-3 (Root 13, Stokes 4) Root repels Rabada’s final over before lunch without alarm. It’s been South Africa’s morning, with England scoring 50 from 25 overs for the loss of the two overnight batsmen. England need another 205 runs for a record-breaking victory. South Africa have a new ball available in 14 overs’ time, and I suspect that will be decisive.

Tom Davies will be with you for the afternoon session - you can email him here. I’ll see you after tea, unless England fall over in a heap.

9.57am GMT

65th over: England 170-3 (Root 12, Stokes 4) Keshav Maharaj comes into the attack. That’s a good move from Faf du Plessis, just to tempt Stokes into bringing out the long handle. He slog-swept Maharaj for consecutive sixes in the first innings, and hit him for four in six balls at the Oval in 2017. This time, with the ball spitting out of rough and lunch only a few minutes away, he treats him with caution.

9.54am GMT

64th over: England 169-3 (Root 11, Stokes 4) Rabada replaces Nortje, with just over 10 minutes remaining before lunch. Stokes checks a drive back towards Rabada, who can’t quite change direction in his follow-through to take the catch. The ball dipped as well, so it was probably a one-in-20 chance. England need the lunch break. If they lose another wicket now, it’s done.

“I don’t want to send in relentlessly negative missives, Rob, but it’s tiring supporting England when you’re witnessing a near constant rearguard,” says Guy Hornsby. “Back when we were Flowering teams slowly into the dust, we had a great top five, but you also knew we could dig in, especially with Prior and Collingwood having the ability to stick at the crease. I’m just not sure where their equivalent is here. Buttler becalmed just doesn’t work out, and for all his talent Curran is a counterpuncher, who you’d never expect a gritty 120 from 270 balls. The tail also feels longish. Root and Stokes must wonder where that team’s legacy went. But when you’re struggling for wins, as we are now, it’s much harder to pick players and let them fail before they come good. Burns’ success should be a reason to keep Sibley, because also, if not him, then who?”

9.47am GMT

63rd over: England 168-3 (Root 10, Stokes 4) Stokes is beaten, flirting outside off stump at Pretorius. South Africa have been really impressive this morning. They have kept their nerve and their discipline, which in turn has allowed them keep control. England have scored 47 runs in 22 overs today, and 12 of those came from two Denly pull strokes.

9.45am GMT

62nd over: England 168-3 (Root 10, Stokes 4) Root gloves another malevolent delivery from Nortje round the corner, runs through for a single without his bat and then calls for treatment. He seems okay. When play resumes, Stokes edges short of du Plessis at second slip.

“Given the condition of the pitch, why would you choose to bowl first?” says Dan Ebanks. “I know hindsight is 20:20, but is this another example of a captain trying too hard?”

9.45am GMT

61st over: England 166-3 (Root 9, Stokes 3)

9.33am GMT

60th over: England 164-3 (Root 9, Stokes 1) Stokes gets off the mark from his 12th delivery, working Nortje into the leg side for a single. Then a short ball flies away for four byes. Every little helps, especially when you’re chasing 376.

9.28am GMT

59th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) A maiden from Pretorius to the hitherto strokeless Stokes.

9.25am GMT

58th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) Root inside-edges Nortje just wide of leg stump. England cannot afford to lose another wicket before lunch. Root is then smashed on the bottom hand by a nasty delivery. The uneven bounce is now happening off the straight, which is great news for South Africa.

9.19am GMT

57th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) That was another impressive little innings from Denly, though he’ll be frustrated by the way he got out. South Africa are in an excellent position now. They have bowled superbly this morning.

9.15am GMT

That’s out! Denly whips around a straight one from Pretorius and is given out LBW. The non-striker Root encourages Denly to review, but replays show it’s umpire’s call and that’s good enough for South Africa.

9.13am GMT

56th over: England 158-2 (Denly 31, Root 8) A crap delivery from Nortje is cut through the covers for four by Root.

Meanwhile, this is great, and includes plenty of cricket.

9.08am GMT

55th over: England 153-2 (Denly 31, Root 4) Dwaine Pretorius comes on to replace Kagiso Rabada, and Denly pulls his fourth ball disdainfully through midwicket for four. He’s such an elegant puller and hooker, which is one of the reasons he has been able to make runs against such quality pace attacks in the last year. He’s the Pretty Boy Who Went to War!

Pretorius responds by getting one to spit from a length and rap Denly on the glove. Though he is the fourth seamer in this team, his height and tight line could make him a real threat on this uneven pitch.

8.59am GMT

54th over: England 149-2 (Denly 27, Root 4) Nortje has been really impressive in this game. He’s not just a big, strapping fast bowler, as he showed with that smart spell around the wicket to the left-handers in the first innings. At the moment he has Root in his sights and is pounding a length just outside off stump. Root seems okay physically, though it’s hard to be sure when you’re 8,871 miles away. He gets off the mark with a familiar steer between slip and gully for four. Risk, meet reward.

That’s drinks.

8.55am GMT

53rd over: England 145-2 (Denly 27, Root 0) Denly hooks Rabada for his second six of the morning. It was a strange incident, because Nortje at deep backward square lost sight of the ball and started to cower as his team-mates screamed at him. I don’t think it made any difference, though, as the ball sailed into the crowd. Denly continues to impress both in attack and defence; he has 27 from 70 balls.

“I rate the chances an England victory as 20 times more likely to happen than Ben Foakes being called up as cover as ‘our boys’ continue to turn into human Catherine wheels,” says James Debens. “So, about 1 in 100.”

8.51am GMT

52nd over: England 139-2 (Denly 21, Root 0) Joe Root, the new batsman, survives a pretty big LBW appeal first ball. I say pretty big: Nortje was interested, the cordon less so. It looked too high and Faf du Plessis declined a review. He is beaten later in the over by another one that keeps low. So far, happily for England, all the uneven bounce has been wide of off stump. But I suspect at least one batsman will receive a stump-busting grubber at some stage.

8.47am GMT

Well that escalated quickly. Rory Burns, having played perfectly for 45 minutes, has suddenly given his wicket away. He tried to hook the new bowler Anrich Nortje, but it was too wide for him to control the shot and he top-edged it straight to Rabada at mid-on. That’s a big wicket for South Africa. Burns, fuming with himself, started to walk long before the ball reached Rabada. A split-second misjudgement has cost him his wicket.

8.44am GMT

51st over: England 139-1 (Burns 84, Denly 21) This has been a fine start from England, with both batsmen showing excellent don’t say game management, Smyth, please don’t say game management, this isn’t a wildlife reserve awareness of the match situation. And it’s South Africa’s bowlers who have blinked first. Rabada twice goes too straight to Burns, who puts him away for two and three runs respectively.

“Hitting a six in a Test match?” sniffs Ian Copestake. “What the heck is this Denly man playing at. He can park that shot along with his bloody ego. Upstart.”

8.40am GMT

50th over: England 134-1 (Burns 79, Denly 21) Philander continues to test Burns’ patience and judgement outside off stump. Eventually he goes a bit too straight and is worked off the pads for a single. That’s Burns’ first run off 30 deliveries from Philander this morning.

“But did you notice Rob that he actually also started banging the pitch as much as six inches in front of the crease?” says Steve D. “Sneaky I think.”

8.36am GMT

49th over: England 133-1 (Burns 78, Denly 21) Another unpleasant lifter from Rabada to Denly is well saved by de Kock. Rabada goes a bit straighter, in the hope for something similar, but the bounce is even and Denly works a single off the pads.

That’s the first rotation of strike this morning - and almost the end of Burns. He overbalanced as he turned Rabada to backward short leg, where the substitute Rudi Second reacted brilliantly to grab the ball on the bounce and fling it at the stumps. It missed by a whisker with Burns out of his ground.

8.29am GMT

48th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Burns hasn’t scored a run this morning, mainly because he has been stuck at Philander’s end. It’s an intriguing game of patience between the two: four overs, four maidens.

8.25am GMT

47th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Madon, what a shot from Joe Denly! Rabada’s first ball was a fraction short, and Denly launched into a majestic swivel-pull for six. Ricky Ponting could hardly have played that better. Rabada’s next ball lifts grotesquely outside off stump, with de Kock leaping to save four byes. That uneven bounce is a concern for lovers of England miracles.

“I cannot believe that what has just happened is legal!” says Steve D. “A man came on with a hammer and proceeded to smash to pitch around and in front of the crease line!! Does that not constitute changing the pitch conditions?”

8.21am GMT

46th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander continues to Burns. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip: a maiden. This is excellent stuff from South Africa, though England’s batsmen have so far played with the requisite patience. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, they just have to “suck it up” for a while.

“I just noticed that there are two little white lines a few metres up the edge of the track from the crease,” says Garry Sharp. “What are they for?”

8.17am GMT

45th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Rabada has an optimistic LBW appeal against Denly turned down by Paul Reiffel. Missing leg. Denly is then beaten by a delivery that keeps very low. There have been early signs of uneven bounce at Rabada’s end. South Africa will be pleased with the accuracy and intensity of their start - England have scored only four runs in four overs, and they came from an involuntary edge.

“My plan to recuperate with an Ally Pally hangover revolves around me staying on the sofa with cricket, football and darts for company,” says John Dalby. “Its success hinges on England batting through until tea. What are my chances?”

8.12am GMT

44th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander seams a beauty past Burns’ defensive push. He has started immaculately and remains the biggest threat to England. Burns, that play and miss aside, is leaving him well outside off stump, which is not easy against a relentless line bowler like Philander. Excellent stuff so far.

“Good morning, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “If the TV cameras do seek out ‘the beautiful, the famous or the wacky’ (The Spirit of Cricket, Rob Smyth) they may stumble across the latter in the form of an actual friend of mine who it turns out is a member of the Barmy Army. He is at the ground and may well lead some singing, and if his girlfriend has brought her ukulele then she might get upgraded to famous.”

8.07am GMT

43rd over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Kagiso Rabada starts at the other end to Denly, who gets a thick edge to third man for four. The previous delivery popped nastily outside off stump, a reminder that this pitch hasn’t completely gone to sleep. The next 37 overs, before the second new ball is available, are so important. I reckon England can afford to lose no more than two wickets in that time.

8.03am GMT

42nd over: England 121-1 (Burns 77, Denly 10) Philander doesn’t do looseners. His first ball is right on the money and defended by Burns, and his first over is a maiden.

“Good morning Rob from bright and frosty Piedmont,” says Finbar Anslow. “Last night the South Piedmontese Christmas film appreciation society watched It’s a Wonderful Life and I can confirm it’s still up there as one of the best festive feelgood movies; now if only England had a couple of George Baileys (and maybe a Clarence would be useful).”

7.59am GMT

It’s time for some cricket. Vernon Philander will open the bowling to Rory Burns.

7.53am GMT

“Good morning, Rob,” says Eva Maaten. “After attending to family obligations in Europe we made it back to SA in time for day four of this exciting Test - I’m very grateful to Burns for ensuring there is still some cricket to be played today. Overcast and cooler today; what do you think that means for the pitch and England’s chances? We seemed to have ended up in the middle of a touring group of England fans with some very enthusiastic looking SA supporters just across the aisle - this should be a fun day!”

The Sky Sports pundits all think the cool weather is good for England because it should delay the deterioration of the pitch. I still think South Africa are strong favourites, though I’m in a minority: most reckon it’s 60/40 in their favour. I’d make it 80/20.

7.35am GMT

Joe Root and Jos Buttler are at the ground and apparently feeling better.

It’s on!

7.34am GMT

Pre-play reading

7.57pm GMT

Hello. The secret of eternal youth is not yoga, serums, goji berries or even a generous swig of Cognac every morning. It’s being an England cricket fan. You heard.

Never mind all that facial stuff: if you want to feel truly alive, and experience the kind of extreme emotions usually reserved for teens and twentysomethings, just support this team. Ecstasy, anxiety, mirth, bewilderment, rage: you get them all with England - often in the same match, sometimes in the same day.

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on December 29, 2019 05:28

South Africa v England: tourists need 376 to win first Test on day four – live!

Live updates from the fourth day at SuperSport ParkThe Spin: sign up and get our free weekly cricket email
And feel free to email Rob here

9.28am GMT

59th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) A maiden from Pretorius to the hitherto strokeless Stokes.

9.25am GMT

58th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) Root inside-edges Nortje just wide of leg stump. England cannot afford to lose another wicket before lunch. Root is then smashed on the bottom hand by a nasty delivery. The uneven bounce is now happening off the straight, which is great news for South Africa.

9.19am GMT

57th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) That was another impressive little innings from Denly, though he’ll be frustrated by the way he got out. South Africa are in an excellent position now. They have bowled superbly this morning.

9.15am GMT

That’s out! Denly whips around a straight one from Pretorius and is given out LBW. The non-striker Root encourages Denly to review, but replays show it’s umpire’s call and that’s good enough for South Africa.

9.13am GMT

56th over: England 158-2 (Denly 31, Root 8) A crap delivery from Nortje is cut through the covers for four by Root.

Meanwhile, this is great, and includes plenty of cricket.

9.08am GMT

55th over: England 153-2 (Denly 31, Root 4) Dwaine Pretorius comes on to replace Kagiso Rabada, and Denly pulls his fourth ball disdainfully through midwicket for four. He’s such an elegant puller and hooker, which is one of the reasons he has been able to make runs against such quality pace attacks in the last year. He’s the Pretty Boy Who Went to War!

Pretorius responds by getting one to spit from a length and rap Denly on the glove. Though he is the fourth seamer in this team, his height and tight line could make him a real threat on this uneven pitch.

8.59am GMT

54th over: England 149-2 (Denly 27, Root 4) Nortje has been really impressive in this game. He’s not just a big, strapping fast bowler, as he showed with that smart spell around the wicket to the left-handers in the first innings. At the moment he has Root in his sights and is pounding a length just outside off stump. Root seems okay physically, though it’s hard to be sure when you’re 8,871 miles away. He gets off the mark with a familiar steer between slip and gully for four. Risk, meet reward.

That’s drinks.

8.55am GMT

53rd over: England 145-2 (Denly 27, Root 0) Denly hooks Rabada for his second six of the morning. It was a strange incident, because Nortje at deep backward square lost sight of the ball and started to cower as his team-mates screamed at him. I don’t think it made any difference, though, as the ball sailed into the crowd. Denly continues to impress both in attack and defence; he has 27 from 70 balls.

“I rate the chances an England victory as 20 times more likely to happen than Ben Foakes being called up as cover as ‘our boys’ continue to turn into human Catherine wheels,” says James Debens. “So, about 1 in 100.”

8.51am GMT

52nd over: England 139-2 (Denly 21, Root 0) Joe Root, the new batsman, survives a pretty big LBW appeal first ball. I say pretty big: Nortje was interested, the cordon less so. It looked too high and Faf du Plessis declined a review. He is beaten later in the over by another one that keeps low. So far, happily for England, all the uneven bounce has been wide of off stump. But I suspect at least one batsman will receive a stump-busting grubber at some stage.

8.47am GMT

Well that escalated quickly. Rory Burns, having played perfectly for 45 minutes, has suddenly given his wicket away. He tried to hook the new bowler Anrich Nortje, but it was too wide for him to control the shot and he top-edged it straight to Rabada at mid-on. That’s a big wicket for South Africa. Burns, fuming with himself, started to walk long before the ball reached Rabada. A split-second misjudgement has cost him his wicket.

8.44am GMT

51st over: England 139-1 (Burns 84, Denly 21) This has been a fine start from England, with both batsmen showing excellent don’t say game management, Smyth, please don’t say game management, this isn’t a wildlife reserve awareness of the match situation. And it’s South Africa’s bowlers who have blinked first. Rabada twice goes too straight to Burns, who puts him away for two and three runs respectively.

“Hitting a six in a Test match?” sniffs Ian Copestake. “What the heck is this Denly man playing at. He can park that shot along with his bloody ego. Upstart.”

8.40am GMT

50th over: England 134-1 (Burns 79, Denly 21) Philander continues to test Burns’ patience and judgement outside off stump. Eventually he goes a bit too straight and is worked off the pads for a single. That’s Burns’ first run off 30 deliveries from Philander this morning.

“But did you notice Rob that he actually also started banging the pitch as much as six inches in front of the crease?” says Steve D. “Sneaky I think.”

8.36am GMT

49th over: England 133-1 (Burns 78, Denly 21) Another unpleasant lifter from Rabada to Denly is well saved by de Kock. Rabada goes a bit straighter, in the hope for something similar, but the bounce is even and Denly works a single off the pads.

That’s the first rotation of strike this morning - and almost the end of Burns. He overbalanced as he turned Rabada to backward short leg, where the substitute Rudi Second reacted brilliantly to grab the ball on the bounce and fling it at the stumps. It missed by a whisker with Burns out of his ground.

8.29am GMT

48th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Burns hasn’t scored a run this morning, mainly because he has been stuck at Philander’s end. It’s an intriguing game of patience between the two: four overs, four maidens.

8.25am GMT

47th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Madon, what a shot from Joe Denly! Rabada’s first ball was a fraction short, and Denly launched into a majestic swivel-pull for six. Ricky Ponting could hardly have played that better. Rabada’s next ball lifts grotesquely outside off stump, with de Kock leaping to save four byes. That uneven bounce is a concern for lovers of England miracles.

“I cannot believe that what has just happened is legal!” says Steve D. “A man came on with a hammer and proceeded to smash to pitch around and in front of the crease line!! Does that not constitute changing the pitch conditions?”

8.21am GMT

46th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander continues to Burns. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip: a maiden. This is excellent stuff from South Africa, though England’s batsmen have so far played with the requisite patience. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, they just have to “suck it up” for a while.

“I just noticed that there are two little white lines a few metres up the edge of the track from the crease,” says Garry Sharp. “What are they for?”

8.17am GMT

45th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Rabada has an optimistic LBW appeal against Denly turned down by Paul Reiffel. Missing leg. Denly is then beaten by a delivery that keeps very low. There have been early signs of uneven bounce at Rabada’s end. South Africa will be pleased with the accuracy and intensity of their start - England have scored only four runs in four overs, and they came from an involuntary edge.

“My plan to recuperate with an Ally Pally hangover revolves around me staying on the sofa with cricket, football and darts for company,” says John Dalby. “Its success hinges on England batting through until tea. What are my chances?”

8.12am GMT

44th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander seams a beauty past Burns’ defensive push. He has started immaculately and remains the biggest threat to England. Burns, that play and miss aside, is leaving him well outside off stump, which is not easy against a relentless line bowler like Philander. Excellent stuff so far.

“Good morning, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “If the TV cameras do seek out ‘the beautiful, the famous or the wacky’ (The Spirit of Cricket, Rob Smyth) they may stumble across the latter in the form of an actual friend of mine who it turns out is a member of the Barmy Army. He is at the ground and may well lead some singing, and if his girlfriend has brought her ukulele then she might get upgraded to famous.”

8.07am GMT

43rd over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Kagiso Rabada starts at the other end to Denly, who gets a thick edge to third man for four. The previous delivery popped nastily outside off stump, a reminder that this pitch hasn’t completely gone to sleep. The next 37 overs, before the second new ball is available, are so important. I reckon England can afford to lose no more than two wickets in that time.

8.03am GMT

42nd over: England 121-1 (Burns 77, Denly 10) Philander doesn’t do looseners. His first ball is right on the money and defended by Burns, and his first over is a maiden.

“Good morning Rob from bright and frosty Piedmont,” says Finbar Anslow. “Last night the South Piedmontese Christmas film appreciation society watched It’s a Wonderful Life and I can confirm it’s still up there as one of the best festive feelgood movies; now if only England had a couple of George Baileys (and maybe a Clarence would be useful).”

7.59am GMT

It’s time for some cricket. Vernon Philander will open the bowling to Rory Burns.

7.53am GMT

“Good morning, Rob,” says Eva Maaten. “After attending to family obligations in Europe we made it back to SA in time for day four of this exciting Test - I’m very grateful to Burns for ensuring there is still some cricket to be played today. Overcast and cooler today; what do you think that means for the pitch and England’s chances? We seemed to have ended up in the middle of a touring group of England fans with some very enthusiastic looking SA supporters just across the aisle - this should be a fun day!”

The Sky Sports pundits all think the cool weather is good for England because it should delay the deterioration of the pitch. I still think South Africa are strong favourites, though I’m in a minority: most reckon it’s 60/40 in their favour. I’d make it 80/20.

7.35am GMT

Joe Root and Jos Buttler are at the ground and apparently feeling better.

It’s on!

7.34am GMT

Pre-play reading

7.57pm GMT

Hello. The secret of eternal youth is not yoga, serums, goji berries or even a generous swig of Cognac every morning. It’s being an England cricket fan. You heard.

Never mind all that facial stuff: if you want to feel truly alive, and experience the kind of extreme emotions usually reserved for teens and twentysomethings, just support this team. Ecstasy, anxiety, mirth, bewilderment, rage: you get them all with England - often in the same match, sometimes in the same day.

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on December 29, 2019 01:28

South Africa set England 376 to win: first Test, day three – as it happened

Rory Burns’ superb 77 not out took England to 121 for one at the close - and gave them an outside chance of another miraculous run-chase

3.49pm GMT

That’s it for today’s blog. I’ll leave you with Vic Marks’ match report from Centurion. Please join us in the morning for what should be England’s final day of cricket in 2019. It’s been such a crazy year that a tied Test would be the only sensible result. You have Super Overs in Test cricket, right?

3.46pm GMT

Here’s Graham Thorpe, England’s batting coach

“It hasn’t been a straightforward Test match. We’ve had players coming and going with illness. We were pleased to show character and get through to the close tonight. We’d have taken this position if you’d offered it to us this morning.

3.34pm GMT

Joe Denly applauds Rory Burns off the field. They are two admirable characters, so resourceful and courageous. Burns played expertly for his 77 not out, and was ruthless at putting away the bad balls. With every match, he looks more like England’s next Test captain.

3.32pm GMT

41st over: England 121-1 (Burns 77, Denly 10) So nearly a wicket in the last over of the day! Burns edged Maharaj this far short of Elgar, plunging to his left at first slip. Burns survives and will resume tomorrow needing 23 more for a third Test century. More importantly, England need 255 more runs for a miraculous victory. It’s a slim chance, but that’s more than they had this morning.

3.28pm GMT

40th over: England 118-1 (Burns 74, Denly 10) Denly gets his first boundary, guiding a loose ball from Pretorius through backward point. I still think it’s too early to get excited about a possible England win, but they have batted splendidly tonight.

3.24pm GMT

39th over: England 114-1 (Burns 74, Denly 6) Maharaj has switched ends, in fact, to replace Philander. Burns sees him off. There should be time for two more overs.

Meanwhile, well done everyone.

3.20pm GMT

38th over: England 112-1 (Burns 72, Denly 6) Pretorius replaces Maharaj, who bowled a crafty spell of 8-3-11-1. England look like they have shut up shop for the night, Denly in particular, and there is just one run from the over.

3.16pm GMT

37th over: England 111-1 (Burns 71, Denly 6) A clever move from South Africa. The keeper de Kock moves up to the stumps, which means Denly has to go back into his crease to face Philander. He is beaten by the first ball under the new terms of battle before working a couple off the pads. England are 265 runs away from a bizarre and brilliant victory.

3.11pm GMT

36th over: England 109-1 (Burns 71, Denly 4) A long hop from Maharaj is pulled vigorously for four by Burns. Maharaj responds with two good deliveries that beat the bat and hit Burns on the body. Good contest, this.

3.09pm GMT

35th over: England 105-1 (Burns 67, Denly 4) Joe Denly has started watchfully, as is his wont, and has four for 21 balls at the end of that Philander over.

“Forget Root,” says Sam Cooper. “Forget Stokes. Forget Buttler. Is Burns the most important England batsman? Seems whenever he starts well the team does well behind him.”

3.03pm GMT

34th over: England 102-1 (Burns 66, Denly 2) Maharaj is causing plenty of problems. Burns, out of his crease, misses an attempted work to leg and is grateful that the ball deflects off his pad and wide of de Kock. England have another 26 minutes to survive.

3.00pm GMT

33rd over: England 101-1 (Burns 65, Denly 2) Philander seams another glorious delivery past Burns’ outside edge. His accuracy is almost comical.

2.56pm GMT

32nd over: England 100-1 (Burns 64, Denly 2) A maiden from Maharaj to Denly. It looks like Ben Stokes is the next man in, with Joe Root unwell, though I’d imagine England will use a nightwatchman if a wicket falls in the last 15-20 minutes of the day’s play.

2.53pm GMT

31st over: England 100-1 (Burns 64, Denly 2) Philander returns to the attack and has an optimistic LBW appeal against Denly turned down off his first ball. Far too high. Denly is batting outside his crease to Philander, as he did in the first innings, and works a single to bring up the England hundred.

2.49pm GMT

30th over: England 99-1 (Burns 64, Denly 1) Maharaj gets one to rip sharply at Burns, who inside-edges it onto the body. The mood has changed since the wicket of Sibley, and England could lose one or two more in the 40 minutes before the close.

2.46pm GMT

29th over: England 98-1 (Burns 64, Denly 0) Four more to Burns, nailed through the covers off Rabada. He is playing quite superbly.

2.43pm GMT

28th over: England 92-1 (Burns 58, Denly 0) Sibley swished his bat in disgust when he was dismissed. It was a nothing shot to a poor ball. But he played well, making 29 from 90 balls, and should feel more comfortable in Test cricket than he did three hours ago.

2.41pm GMT

Ach, Sibley has fallen to the left-arm spinner. He pushed a short delivery straight back at Maharaj, who took the return catch with glee. I don’t know whether that stopped in the pitch because it looked a very harmless delivery.

2.38pm GMT

27th over: England 91-0 (Burns 57, Sibley 29) Sibley, who is playing confidently now, forces Rabada behind square on the off side for four. This has been an admirable performance from a young man trying to forge a Test career.

Here’s John Beaven. “As Bertie said, ‘Jeeves, of course, is a gentleman’s gentleman, not a butler, but if the call comes, he can buttle with the best of them.’”

2.34pm GMT

26th over: England 86-0 (Burns 56, Sibley 25) Sibley flicks Maharaj through midwicket for four. He had trouble with Mitchell Santner in New Zealand, which is probably why Maharaj has been brought on. The decision almost pays off for South Africa when Sibley, defending on the front foot, inside-edges the ball into his balls. That could have gone anywhere.

2.31pm GMT

25th over: England 82-0 (Burns 56, Sibley 21) Rabada walks away in disgust at his misfortune after beating Burns with another fine lifter.

2.27pm GMT

24th over: England 80-0 (Burns 54, Sibley 21) There’s a hint of turn for Maharaj, who bowls another accurate maiden to the happily becalmed Sibley.

“There is a common misconception, which the link to fish being brain food shared, that Jeeves was a butler,” says Peter Dymoke. “He was a valet or gentleman’s personal gentleman. The two are quite different. Yours pedantically.”

2.24pm GMT

23rd over: England 80-0 (Burns 54, Sibley 21) There’s an hour and ten minutes of play remaining. Burns forces Rabada through backward point for four to reach an extremely good half-century from only 62 balls. He’s such a smart, resourceful batsman. He adds four more with a confident extra-cover drive before Rabada produces a beauty to beat the outside edge.

Since the start of the Ashes - when he was probably one bad game away from being dropped - Burns averages 46 in Tests. And most of those runs have come against brilliant attacks on lively pitches.

2.19pm GMT

22nd over: England 72-0 (Burns 46, Sibley 21) The left-arm spinner Keshav Maharaj comes into the attack and starts with a maiden to Sibley. That’s drinks.

“As you rightly say, we’re not in the dressing room, so everything is based on (mediated) impressions,” says Brian Withington. “Just between us, I am guessing that Bairstow might have felt somewhat aggrieved by the immediate media clamour for Foakes to be awarded the gloves in perpetuity after just one game (after anklegate). By way of context, Bairstow could perhaps claim that he was denied a regular slot in the Test and one-day teams for far too long due to the extended retention of favoured sons. Two wrongs don’t make a right of course, and I would rather he went away for a bit and worked on his red ball batting. But Buttler keeping in Tests!! Bad enough that he inexplicably gets the gig in the one day team, but surely Foakes must get the call for red ball. If there is anyone who should just focus on his batting it is surely Jos.”

2.14pm GMT

21st over: England 72-0 (Burns 46, Sibley 21) If England win this, thanks to an unbeaten 145 from Jonny Bairstow, I am going to look an appreciable plonker. I still think South Africa will win comfortably - they have another 305 runs to play with - but it’s been an uplifting display of determination and commonsense from Burns and Sibley.

Out of nothing, Rabada produces a vicious lifter that hits Burns on the glove and loops to safety on the off side. That must have hit a crack.

2.10pm GMT

20th over: England 68-0 (Burns 42, Sibley 21) South Africa have started bowling where Sibley wants. He times Pretorius sweetly through midwicket for four more. Having made six from his first 40 balls, Sibley has scored 15 from the last 26. Textbook stuff.

“I’m sure I read a tweet lately that demonstrated that Bairstow had a ludicrously good first class record in county cricket since making his first class debut and, arguably, earns his opportunity through repeatedly going back to the shires and delivering the goods to a greater extent than other English-qualified batsmen,” says Tom Van der Gucht. “He seems to me like a team man who will do anything he can to tenaciously cling onto his place in the team and deliver: he’ll bat wherever he’s asked to (although he brings the same technique and style) and has delivered in the past. I feel sorry for the chap: he’s always being dumped for Buttler who seems to still be getting picked on potential rather than results - a bit like a steady and reliable boy-next-door who keeps on getting dumped and passed over for the flash bad boy who owns their own Vauxhall Nova.”

2.05pm GMT

19th over: England 63-0 (Burns 42, Sibley 17) Rabada returns to the attack. South Africa won’t be worried just yet, though they will hope the pitch is more malignant tomorrow. They are starting to lose a little patience, and when Rabada is too straight Sibley helps himself to a boundary off the hip. In the circumstances, both personal and collective, Sibley’s ability to stick to his gameplan has been pretty impressive.

2.02pm GMT

18th over: England 58-0 (Burns 41, Sibley 13) “Fish: the science bit,” says Kim Thonger. “Useful link for coaches. Remember, if Jeeves says it, it MUST be true.”

I thought you meant you’d been using Ask Jeeves. I was about to upbraid you for thinking it was still 1998, never mind 2016.

1.57pm GMT

17th over: England 56-0 (Burns 41, Sibley 11) Sibley hasn’t scored many runs in his short Test career but he has at least hinted at his ability to bat time. This is his fifth Test innings and he has now faced 211 balls for his 53 runs. England are desperate for an old-fashioned opener who can consistently see off the new ball.

Burns is much more proactive, as a rule, and he moves into the forties with another efficient clip through midwicket for four off Nortje. The more comfortable he looks at Test level, the more likely it is that he will be England’s next Test captain.

1.52pm GMT

16th over: England 51-0 (Burns 37, Sibley 10) Burns is beaten, chasing a wide one from Pretorius. Nothing else to see here.

1.50pm GMT

15th over: England 51-0 (Burns 37, Sibley 10) “Hi Rob,” says Daniel McDonald, before proceeding to matters of greater import.

If Burns is burned and Sibley is sickly,
and Denly is deathly and Root is rooted,

and Stokes is stoked but not like Lord’s and Leeds,
and Bairstow can only play as straight as [redacted],

1.46pm GMT

14th over: England 50-0 (Burns 36, Sibley 10) Dwaine Pretorius replaces Vernon Philander, who bowled a classy opening spell of 6-2-13-0. Burns works a single to bring up a determined fifty partnership with his old Surrey mate Dom Sibley. That’s their second in three Tests together.

“I’m scratching my head here trying to figure out exactly how Jonny Bairstow became the poster boy for everything that’s wrong with the Test team?” says Brian Withington. “When did caring so much about playing for England and working like a dog to improve your game become the focus of our opprobrium? My impression from afar is that the guy has none of the Gerrard-Lampard axis of entitlement, which is perhaps why he was so desperate to keep the gloves, regardless of where he was shunted around the batting order. Reminds me more of Paul Scholes than the other pair, except I somehow doubt he will throw in the towel. Joe Cole with attitude, perhaps - he would have offered to take the gloves play in goal in order to get in the England team.”

1.39pm GMT

13th over: England 49-0 (Burns 35, Sibley 10) The pitch has been relatively placid today, as if sleeping off the excesses of day two. Sibley is still playing and missing once an over, mind you, and he obliges from Nortje’s fifth delivery. The follow-up ball is too short, too straight, and Sibley works it to fine leg for his fourth boundary. For all his technical eccentricity, there is plenty to admire in Sibley’s temperament.

1.34pm GMT

12th over: England 44-0 (Burns 34, Sibley 6) Philander continues to toy with Sibley, varying his line between fourth and sixth stump. Sibley, beaten again early in the over, eventually decides to play outside off stump - he scythes the last ball through the covers for two.

1.29pm GMT

11th over: England 40-0 (Burns 33, Sibley 3) Too straight from Nortje, and Burns fizzes him through midwicket for four. Excellent shot. Nortje moves around the wicket as a result - but he strays onto the pads a second time and Burns clips another boundary through midwicket.

Burns is never going to change the world but he is such an impressive, pragmatic batsman.

1.25pm GMT

10th over: England 32-0 (Burns 25, Sibley 3) Oof, Burns is dropped by van der Dussen! He edged a stunning delivery from Philander to the right of first slip, where van der Dussen put down a tricky low chance. He may have been put off by de Kock diving across in front of him, though I suspect he’d take that seven times out of 10. This time the ball went through and ran away for four runs.

“I think England need to bed in and build a solid base from which to hopefully expand and express themselves tomorrow,” says Shane Kirk. “Not only because it’ll be good for the morale of the side, but mainly because we don’t have Sky and we’re not due at the in-laws (who do) until much later this afternoon.”

1.20pm GMT

9th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) South Africa have given Sibley nothing that he can work into the leg side. That shouldn’t bother him, such is his patience, although the highest level can do funny things to the brain. All evidence from county cricket suggests Sibley won’t care if he finishes today on 7 not out from 117 balls. At the moment, after a maiden from Nortje, he has 3 from 28.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “I’ve become convinced that the England batting unit’s problem is mainly dietary. Could you use your global fame and influence to persuade Waitrose (as a sponsor) to put their Sushi Daily counters in ALL their branches. Here in Northamptonshire, a sushi wasteland, our young people are deprived of healthy and nutritious raw fish and my instinct tells me it’s holding back their development, particularly in respect of maintaining concentration when the balls are nipping back a bit outside the off stump. Would probably also help apprentice pacemen (and women) improve their length and line.”

1.16pm GMT

8th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) Burns looks custom-made for a wicket-to-wicket bowler like Philander, given the way he skitters across the crease, but so far he has managed to get a bat on everything straight. Another interrogative over from Philander ends with a peach that just misses Burns’ outside edge.

1.11pm GMT

7th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) Anrich Nortje replaces Kagiso Rabada, who bowled three expensive overs before tea, and zips a lovely delivery past Sibley’s outside edge. He’s struggling to survive, but he has enough experience to know things will get much easier if he can get past the new ball.

1.07pm GMT

6th over: England 26-0 (Burns 19, Sibley 3) England run on a misfield and live to tell the tale, with Burns home before Nortje’s throw hit the stumps at the non-striker’s end. Sibley is then beaten on the inside by Philander, who is having sadistic fun of the cat/mouse variety.

“What do England need to do to rescue some respectability from a pretty shambolic start to the tour?” says Gary Naylor. “I feel that if they can make the highest innings of the match, they’ll have something to work with, but another collapse takes us into McGrathian territory. Happy New Year... but probably not.”

12.57pm GMT

“Would it have helped if England had spent more time in South Africa preparing for this series and not gone to New Zealand?” says Paul McIntyre. “Everyone seems to agree the schedule is too busy but no one in the England set-up seems accountable for signing up to it.”

That a different issue, I think. Interviews with Ashley Giles, the newish ECB Managing Director, suggest he is acutely aware of the problem, but it’s not easy to resolve. Cricket (and most other sports) has sold so much of its soul in the last 20-30 years that it will be hard to make significant changes. It’s all pretty miserable.

12.45pm GMT

“You wrote that Pope will play the second Test ‘if he can dislodge Bairstow,’” says Andrew Hurley. “Wouldn’t he just need to throw something straight at him? (Sorry!)”

That made me laugh more than I expected. It took me by surprise. Like a full delivery at my off stump, honk.

12.42pm GMT

5th over: England 24-0 (Burns 18, Sibley 2) Burns, reaching well wide of off stump, edges Rabada along the ground for four. It looks like he has decided to get as many as he can before the pitch gets him, and he goes to tea having made 18 from 18 balls. England need a further 352 runs to complete a hat-trick of miracles in 2019.

“Following a few football results over the last couple of evenings, I’m still on a sporting high, so not quite at the ‘praying for rain’ stage yet (with those famously wet SA summers, and all),” says Matt Dony. “I am, however, about to spend an afternoon with no mobile signal (yay for West Wales!), so not too sure what I’ll come back to. A couple of big scores, and a good, hard look at themselves before the next Test would be nice. See what you can do, Rob.”

12.38pm GMT

4th over: England 18-0 (Burns 12, Sibley 2) Philander makes a lone enquiry for caught behind - as much to his team-mates as the umpire - when Sibley is beaten outside off stump. It missed the bottom edge of the bat. Sibley is beaten again later in the over, this time by a gorgeous delivery.

Whatever happens in this innings, I hope Sibley is given at least the rest of this series, and probably the Sri Lanka Tests as well. There are concerns about his technique, that much is true. But it would be scandalous to drop him after three Tests, particularly in view of the chances given to more experienced players.

12.34pm GMT

3rd over: England 18-0 (Burns 12, Sibley 2) Burns drives Rabada handsomely through mid-off for four, and England get some bonus runs when a short ball clears de Kock and runs away for four byes.

“I’ve suddenly become engrossed in a hardbound 2019 Wisden which was lying untouched,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “Kohli was the Cricketer of the Year in both 2018 and 2019. Who do you think will take the honour this time around? Surely, Ben Stokes?”

12.32pm GMT

2nd over: England 8-0 (Burns 6, Sibley 2) Sibley is the first man to be tied up in the chair and interrogated by Philander. He gets off the mark with a clip for two and survives the over without alarm.

“We’ve been here many times, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “Too many of them recently. I agree we can’t keep trying to shoehorn the big names in just so no one’s upset. The difference with the Gerrard-Lampard epoch is that we had a great core of players to pick from but stuffed it up. Here we have a mix of brilliant, good, could be legendary and not really sure but by persisting with this rigid must-pick XI, we scupper it for everyone. Right now though, I’d just like us to put up a fight, but this has 145 all out written all over it. Penny for Chris Silverwood’s thoughts. At least Pope should be ok for the next Test.”

12.26pm GMT

1st over: England 6-0 (Burns 6, Sibley 0) Rabada opens the bowling at the Sacrifical Pom End. Burns edges the first ball of the innings along the ground for four. He is then given out LBW, but successfully reviews. It looked a poor decision from Chris Gaffaney and replays confirmed the ball would have missed off stump. It didn’t quite come back enough, though it was a beautiful delivery.

Here’s Ian Andrew on the subject of England’s retch-tastic second Test in India in 1963-64. “When Jimmy Binks was asked to open the England second innings, his comment was apparently, ‘Wait till Freddie Trueman hears about this!’”

12.19pm GMT

The first task for the England openers is to negotiate a miserable 20-minute mini-session before tea. Dom Sibley, in particular, could really do with a score. A dogged 30 or 40 would do him the world of good.

12.16pm GMT

This is on BT Sport tonight. I’ve seen a preview and can unequivocally recommend it. (Full disclosure: I know the director, but despite his involvement it is fantastic.)

"We were striking a blow against the very foundations of apartheid."

50 years ago, a protest movement changed sport in South Africa and helped bring down a racist regime.#StopTheTour tells the details of a remarkable story.

Friday, 10pm | BT Sport 1 HD pic.twitter.com/SnjytBfCEF

12.11pm GMT

The stand-in keeper Bairstow takes a spectacular leaping catch to dismiss Philander and end England’s suffering, at least for the next 10 minutes. England need 376 to win. No.

12.06pm GMT

61st over: South Africa 264-9 (Philander 45, Rabada 9) On Sky Sports, Ian Ward has just referred to “England’s powerful middle order”. I wish everyone would realise it’s no longer 2016. It’s 2019, almost 2020, and KG Rabada has just clouted Archer over cover for four more. That brings up Archer’s hundred. For someone so economical, his figures are most peculiar: 17-1-102-5.

12.01pm GMT

60th over: South Africa 258-9 (Philander 44, Rabada 5) Philander loves batting against England. He averages 41 in Tests, easily his highest, and made important runs in victories at Lord’s (2012), Trent Bridge (2017) and Centurion (2019).

Rabada, meanwhile, gets off the mark with an elegant cover drive for four off Curran. South Africa lead by 360. That’s fine, because England have a lot of 360 batsmen. Right? RIGHT?

11.57am GMT

59th over: South Africa 251-9 (Philander 42, Rabada 0) Tum20 Blast is the subject of James Debens’ email. “These aren’t the runs, big heaves and Trotts I was praying for! *waggles cigar* Try the veal (substitute).”

11.55am GMT

Jofra Archer completes a peculiar five-for when Maharaj top-edges a smear to fine leg. There is no real celebration from Archer, unsurprisingly given the match situation and the fact he’s going at more than six an over.

11.51am GMT

58th over: South Africa 247-8 (Philander 39, Maharaj 10) The collective sickness has made this a very difficult match for England. It’s only a partial reason for the result, however, and I hope they don’t overplay it. This England Test team are very good - the best in the world, probably - at rationalising defeat and explaining why it will be different next time.

11.47am GMT

Thanks John, morning everyone. We all know how this ends; the only question is whether it will do so today or tomorrow.

11.46am GMT

And that’s drinks – South Africa lead by 345 and England are in survival mode. So it’s a perfect time for me to pass you over to the estimable Rob Smyth, who’ll take you through the rest of the day.

11.45am GMT

57th over: South Africa 242-8 (Philander 34, Maharaj 10) Maharaj, who seems to be enjoying himself, edges Archer through the (empty) slips for a single. Philander pushes down the ground for another. Maharaj skews a hook away safely for another. Philander clips off the hop for another.

11.40am GMT

56th over: South Africa 238-8 (Philander 32, Maharaj 8) Curran returns to the fray. Maharaj bends his front leg and lofts him over the covers for four! Fine shot that.

Another Curran is having an interesting time over in Australia:

Scenes! Incredible from Curran, who hits 15 from the final over but is run-out going for the match-winning run. Scores level! #BBL09

Super Over time: https://t.co/XA50ZJcGkp https://t.co/qjyqK7AKf0

11.36am GMT

55th over: South Africa 231-8 (Philander 31, Maharaj 3) Jofra Archer returns in the hope of picking up his third five-fer in 12 Test innings. Philander, after a biiig swing-and-miss, is able to dink him away to leg for a couple. The South Africa batsman actually dealt with that over very well despite that rather optimistic heave early on.

11.31am GMT

54th over: South Africa 226-8 (Philander 26, Maharaj 3) Philander is the latest batsman to take an injury break after fending off a Stokes delivery with his box. Youchy. The score edges up with a couple of singles – the lead is now an imposing 329.

11.28am GMT

53rd over: South Africa 223-8 (Philander 24, Maharaj 2) Maharaj hooks Anderson for a single – six words which say a bit about England’s bowling performance today.

“I am sitting (careful how you spell that!) in my AirBnB in the Centurion area with a ticket for today’s play (and tomorrow’s and all of the Cape Town Test) somewhat indisposed. At both ends!” yelps Neil Waterfield. “Is there any advice coming out of the England camp on how to deal with this bug? The effects of yesterday’s numerous Immodium seem to have Warne off!” If Joe Root is any indication, the best thing to do is to stand in a slip cordon looking like you’ve just got off the waltzers.

11.22am GMT

52nd over: South Africa 221-8 (Philander 23, Maharaj 1) A neat and tidy over from Stokes, who has probably been England’s best bowler so far today.

On the subject of the Sickest Test, here’s Steve Hudson: “I don’t know if this has been mentioned already, and I’d be surprised if it hasn’t, but the second Test between England and India in 1963-4 at the Brabourne Stadium, Mumbai, featured an England side with only two specialist batsmen, three if you include Jim Parks. Two wicket keepers, four pace bowlers and two spinners, plus Mike Smith who was unable to take the field. The 10 players who managed to play throughout the game were the only members of the touring party who were able to.”

11.18am GMT

Oh. Out of nowhere De Kock, who has been pretty much becalmed in the 40 minutes since lunch, pushes forward and feathers an edge through to Bairstow.

11.15am GMT

51st over: South Africa 220-7 (De Kock 34, Philander 23) Anderson doesn’t look a particularly happy bunny out there – he’s struggled to ask many questions of this pair.

This may explain the presence of a very peaky Joe Root:

Root is back. ECB say he has to be on the field for 40 minutes from 1pm for him to bat in the top six.

11.11am GMT

50th over: South Africa 218-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 22) De Kock is OK to carry on after some attention but it looked a painful blow. Stokes is a whisker away from picking up Philander but an inside-edge somehow evades the stumps.

11.04am GMT

49th over: South Africa 216-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 21) Joe Root trots – ahem – back on to the field to prompt much headscratching. The England camp first said he was in quarantine. Then he came back. Then he went off again and word was he was looking pretty bad. Now he’s back once more. So who knows? Perhaps only Root himself it seems.

Anderson continues but De Kock keeps his powder dry. From the last he takes a whack on a finger and needs some treatment.

11.01am GMT

48th over: South Africa 216-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 21) Another wonderful drive from Philander sends the ball whistling down the cover boundary as Stokes overpitches. Much of the criticism of England today has focussed on them bowling too short, which is all well and good, but they’ve bowled poorly whenever they’ve pitched it up too.

10.59am GMT

47th over: South Africa 211-7 (De Kock 32, Philander 17) A few singles off Anderson’s latest. Fact fans will be interested to know that this game in 2000 saw the highest run chase in Centurion. Yes, this one:

10.52am GMT

46th over: South Africa 206-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 15) Stokes (3-1-6-1) continues but Philander channels a bit of his batting partner and heaves him away over midwicket for a one-bounce four. Again he pinches the strike off the penultimate ball so De Kock only has the one ball to face and he leaves alone outside off.

A thought from our chief sports writer:

I need a refresher on why Root making 200 on a road in a losing series means he's a good captain now

10.48am GMT

45th over: South Africa 202-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 10) Joe Root has not returned to the field after lunch – England’s batting order could be quite interesting. Anyway Anderson gets the ball after the break. He sends down four tidy dots at Philander but the fifth is in the slot and the South Africa No 9 unfurls a superb cover drive four to bring up the 200. He pinches the strike from the last too.

10.44am GMT

Players back out. Can England polish this off quickly?

10.34am GMT

“Win or lose, this ought to be in the 2010s roundups as England’s Sickest Test Ever,” writes John Starbuck. “Is that right? I suspect there have been others where a bug swept through team, but were quite so many laid up?” Indeed, Joe Root was off the field again as the morning session came to an end.

10.33am GMT

The knives are out for England after that morning session. On Sky there’s been nothing but opprobrium for England’s tactics, while Michael Vaughan has tweeted: “The England Test Team need to admit they have a Test Match Cricket Problem. Only then will it improve ...”

10.05am GMT

So 125 runs and three wickets in a lively session.

10.04am GMT

44th over: South Africa 197-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 5) The last over before lunch here I reckon. Stokes to bowl it. De Kock lofts him over the infield for a single – he moves to 30 from 16 – and Philander blocks one into the on-side for another to make the lead 300. And that’s the way it’ll be at lunch.

9.59am GMT

43rd over: South Africa 195-7 (De Kock 29, Philander 4) Here we go – Archer v De Kock II. The first is banged in short … and heaved away for six! And the second is flat-batted down the ground for four. The third is a short bouncer which is signalled a wide. And Nasser Hussain makes a pertinent point on commentary – even if this ploy works for England now and De Kock spoons up a catch, the damage is pretty much done.

9.55am GMT

42nd over: South Africa 181-7 (De Kock 16, Philander 4) England have just about dragged themselves back into this game with three wickets in 19 balls. But they’re hardly in a position of strength. Philander edges for four as the lead heads towards 300.

9.50am GMT

Stokes gets the ball in his hands for the first time this morning and he has struck! Pretorius edges a full one through to Sibley at slip.

9.48am GMT

41st over: South Africa 177-6 (De Kock 16, Pretorius 7) Four wickets for Archer now. Pretorious gets off the mark with a cracking tip-toed back-foot drive for four. Lovely stuff. He adds two more with a push through the same area. As Pretorius made his way to the crease Stokes and Broad had what appeared to be a very heated discussion in Englan’s huddle. But whatever the disagreement was a fist-bump at the end of the over draws it to a close.

9.43am GMT

Nortje’s vigil comes to an end, Archer finally getting one to flick off bat and pad. Crawley takes a sharp catch at close range.

9.41am GMT

40th over: South Africa 170-5 (Nortje 40, De Kock 16) Broad takes the opposite tack to De Kock, pitching the ball up. That keeps him quiet for a few balls but from the last he flails a glorious cover drive through for four more. Sixteen from 10 so far for De Kock.

9.38am GMT

39th over: South Africa 165-5 (Nortje 39, De Kock 12) To say England needed that is something of an understatement. The wicket brings Quinton de Kock to the crease with the lead at 256. He gets off the mark … with a huge six over backward square leg! Because of course he does. Archer bangs it in short again – De Kock smashes it for six again! What a cricketer Quinton de Kock is. There was a bit more top edge about the second but it still flew into the stands. And in the blink of an eye the lead races to 268 …

9.31am GMT

A slower ball from Archer clonks into the front pad and this time the umpire’s finger goes up. Van der Dussen reviews but it’s clipping leg and he has to go.

9.29am GMT

38th over: South Africa 153-4 (Van der Dussen 51, Nortje 39) Van der Dussen bunts and charges through for a single that brings up his half-century. A terrific knock from the debutant. Nortje is not be far off joining him – he crashes a back-foot drive through the covers for four more, though his technique against the short ball has been cojone-based more than anything.

9.23am GMT

37th over: South Africa 145-4 (Van der Dussen 49, Nortje 34) “May not be in the spirit of the game but if all the English players are this contagious, might one suggest nine men around the bat?” ponders Pete Salmon. To that end (maybe) a very peaky looking Joe Root is unquarantined and back in the slips. Nortje again has to contend with plenty of short stuff, round the wicket from Archer this time.

9.19am GMT

36th over: South Africa 142-4 (Van der Dussen 48, Nortje 32) Five wides from Broad to add to England’s pain. Illness or no, everyone in the England camp will be feeling a little queasy now. Nortje – who has delivered a textbook nightwatchman performance – wears one on the ribcage and has to call for some treatment from the physio. That was a painful one and a sign of a bit of a change of tack from England. Two balls remain after that injury break and from the last Nortje somehow survives after a panicked attempt to fend off another short one drops between three fielders.

9.12am GMT

35th over: South Africa 136-4 (Van der Dussen 47, Nortje 32) Archer continues and has Nortje fending and dodging, successfully as it happens.

“Morning John,” begins Guy Hornsby. Morning Guy. “I know it’s hardly positivity central but we’ve got a night watchman in and we’ve only got two slips and a third man? With the most productive swing bowler in Test history bowling! It all feels a bit negative. Maybe it’s the illness, but the field placings and atmosphere seems pretty flat. This feels like 350 lead and all out for a miserable 160.” It does a bit.

9.04am GMT

34th over: South Africa 133-4 (Van der Dussen 46, Nortje 30) Broad finds Van der Dussen’s edge this time but the ball just fails to carry to a diving Ben Stokes at third slip. It was a very decent effort from England’s current on-field captain but the ball trundles away for four. VDD celebrates with a couple of gorgeous cover drives for a pair of boundaries. South Africa’s lead races up to 236.

9.00am GMT

33rd over: South Africa 120-4 (Van der Dussen 33, Nortje 30) Archer sends one fizzing into Van der Dussen’s pads and review it after the umpire shakes his head. Hawkeye shows the ball clipping leg stump – clipping enough to tear leg stump out of the ground but clipping all the same. Not out. Then a couple of boundaries: an Archer bouncer evades everyone and a very neatly timed Nortje drive.

And even more bad news for England: Joe Root is feeling unwell and has joined the band of nauseous brothers in Quarantine:

8.54am GMT

32nd over: South Africa 109-4 (Van der Dussen 32, Nortje 25) Broad gets through another tidy, uneventful over. A couple of singles come from it.

8.49am GMT

31st over: South Africa 106-4 (Van der Dussen 31, Nortje 24) Jofra Archer comes into the attack for the first time this morning. Nortje flaps awkwardly at a short one but can’t make contact. From the last ball of the over there’s another run-out chance but Denly can’t hit the stumps from point.

8.44am GMT

30th over: South Africa 104-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 23) The first bowling change of the morning – Stuart Broad comes into the attack. There’s another run-out chance as Nortje sends Van der Dussen back but Zak Crawley, on as a sub fielder, misses his shy at the stumps. Tidy enough from Broad, without being particularly threatening.

8.39am GMT

29th over: South Africa 103-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 22) Curran continues and Van der Dussen immediately scampers another single. He’s been quite happy to watch most of this morning’s action from the non-striker’s end while Nortje irritates the bowlers at the other end. And to prove the point, the nightwatchman flails a full delivery down to cow corner for four more.

8.35am GMT

28th over: South Africa 97-4 (Van der Dussen 29, Nortje 17) Another edge from Nortje, another boundary down to third man. That takes the lead to 200. Anderson – delighted, of course – has a brief word with Nortje at the non-striker’s end. England need something to happen and they need it soon.

8.31am GMT

27th over: South Africa 92-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 13) Curran comes round the wicket and discomfits the stubborn Nortje with a couple – there’s a huge appeal after a full one thunders into the back pad but the angle means it’s sliding down. Nortje adds the salt by aiming a drive down the ground and edging wide of slip for the first boundary of the morning.

8.26am GMT

26th over: South Africa 88-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 9) Van der Dussen clips Anderson to deep midwicket for three as South Africa continue this steady start. They’ve had a couple of scares – the run-out chance and that review by Nortje – but they’re through the first half hour without loss. Anderson beats Nortje all ends up outside off here but the nightwatchman survives again and is able to turn the next to backward square for a single.

8.23am GMT

25th over: South Africa 84-4 (Van der Dussen 25, Nortje 8) And that’s the end of the over.

8.22am GMT

The ball has clearly come off Nortje’s shoulder.

8.22am GMT

Curran gets one to rear at Nortje, who fends outside off and sees the ball fly through to Bairstow. The finger goes up but he reviews immediately.

8.17am GMT

24th over: South Africa 81-4 (Van der Dussen 23, Nortje 7) Van der Dussen takes a bonkers single and would’ve been out by a yard had Sibley hit the stumps after running in from cover. That’s the only notable action from an otherwise tidy enough over from Anderson.

8.13am GMT

23rd over: South Africa 78-4 (Van der Dussen 21, Nortje 6) An uncomfortable moment for Dom Sibley as he slides in the outfield and his knee jams in the soft turf. He’s wincing for the rest of the over but seems otherwise unhurt. Three from the Curran over.

So in the three Tests since Jonny Bairstow was dropped and told to focus on his batting England’s wicketkeepers have been Jos Buttler, Ollie Pope and now err Jonny Bairstow...

8.08am GMT

22nd over: South Africa 75-4 (Van der Dussen 20, Nortje 4) James Anderson (4-0-19-1) at the other end and Van der Dussen tickles away the first runs of the morning, Anderson straying on to his pads. There’s a yelp of an appeal as VDD shoulders arms outside off and is struck on the pad but there wasn’t quite enough movement back in for Anderson there. He’s clearly looking for an lbw against the upright Van der Dussen, who clips another single to leg, playing around his front pad a little. And from the last Nortje hops and prods uncertainly. Some excellent stuff from Anderson there.

8.03am GMT

21st over: South Africa 72-4 (Van der Dussen 17, Nortje 4) Sam Curran gets the honour for England, sending down a couple of wide looseners at Nortje before finding his line just outside off. He has the nightwatchman playing and missing at the last. A maiden.

8.00am GMT

Right, the players are out on the field. Off we go for a(nother) big first hour …

7.35am GMT

A couple of bits of news: Jos Buttler has joined the England sick ward so Bairstow will take the gloves today. And South Africa’s Aiden Markram has broken a finger – he’s out of the series.

7.28am GMT

In other news, Jofra Archer has to be careful today after yesterday’s slightly bizarre moment at the very end of the day:

7.00am GMT

Hello all and welcome to day three of this enthralling Test. It’s all rather nicely poised isn’t it? South Africa lead by 175 with six second-innings wickets remaining. England aren’t quite out of it but will need a flurry of wickets this morning to stay in the game. South Africa, already in the box seat, know that – what? – another 120-odd runs might be all they need. The first few hours today could be spectacular. At least, England will hope they are.

To catch up, here’s Vic Marks on day two:

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

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Published on December 28, 2019 07:46

South Africa v England: first Test, day three – live!

Live updates from the third day at SuperSport ParkEngland battle to restrict South African leadGary Naylor: three memories of cricket in 2019And feel free to email John or tweet him here

9.31am GMT

A slower ball from Archer clonks into the front pad and this time the umpire’s finger goes up. Van der Dussen reviews but it’s clipping leg and he has to go.

9.29am GMT

38th over: South Africa 153-4 (Van der Dussen 51, Nortje 39) Van der Dussen bunts and charges through for a single that brings up his half-century. A terrific knock from the debutant. Nortje is not be far off joining him – he crashes a back-foot drive through the covers for four more, though his technique against the short ball has been cojone-based more than anything.

9.23am GMT

37th over: South Africa 145-4 (Van der Dussen 49, Nortje 34) “May not be in the spirit of the game but if all the English players are this contagious, might one suggest nine men around the bat?” ponders Pete Salmon. To that end (maybe) a very peaky looking Joe Root is unquarantined and back in the slips. Nortje again has to contend with plenty of short stuff, round the wicket from Archer this time.

9.19am GMT

36th over: South Africa 142-4 (Van der Dussen 48, Nortje 32) Five wides from Broad to add to England’s pain. Illness or no, everyone in the England camp will be feeling a little queasy now. Nortje – who has delivered a textbook nightwatchman performance – wears one on the ribcage and has to call for some treatment from the physio. That was a painful one and a sign of a bit of a change of tack from England. Two balls remain after that injury break and from the last Nortje somehow survives after a panicked attempt to fend off another short one drops between three fielders.

9.12am GMT

35th over: South Africa 136-4 (Van der Dussen 47, Nortje 32) Archer continues and has Nortje fending and dodging, successfully as it happens.

“Morning John,” begins Guy Hornsby. Morning Guy. “I know it’s hardly positivity central but we’ve got a night watchman in and we’ve only got two slips and a third man? With the most productive swing bowler in Test history bowling! It all feels a bit negative. Maybe it’s the illness, but the field placings and atmosphere seems pretty flat. This feels like 350 lead and all out for a miserable 160.” It does a bit.

9.04am GMT

34th over: South Africa 133-4 (Van der Dussen 46, Nortje 30) Broad finds Van der Dussen’s edge this time but the ball just fails to carry to a diving Ben Stokes at third slip. It was a very decent effort from England’s current on-field captain but the ball trundles away for four. VDD celebrates with a couple of gorgeous cover drives for a pair of boundaries. South Africa’s lead races up to 236.

9.00am GMT

33rd over: South Africa 120-4 (Van der Dussen 33, Nortje 30) Archer sends one fizzing into Van der Dussen’s pads and review it after the umpire shakes his head. Hawkeye shows the ball clipping leg stump – clipping enough to tear leg stump out of the ground but clipping all the same. Not out. Then a couple of boundaries: an Archer bouncer evades everyone and a very neatly timed Nortje drive.

And even more bad news for England: Joe Root is feeling unwell and has joined the band of nauseous brothers in Quarantine:

8.54am GMT

32nd over: South Africa 109-4 (Van der Dussen 32, Nortje 25) Broad gets through another tidy, uneventful over. A couple of singles come from it.

8.49am GMT

31st over: South Africa 106-4 (Van der Dussen 31, Nortje 24) Jofra Archer comes into the attack for the first time this morning. Nortje flaps awkwardly at a short one but can’t make contact. From the last ball of the over there’s another run-out chance but Denly can’t hit the stumps from point.

8.44am GMT

30th over: South Africa 104-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 23) The first bowling change of the morning – Stuart Broad comes into the attack. There’s another run-out chance as Nortje sends Van der Dussen back but Zak Crawley, on as a sub fielder, misses his shy at the stumps. Tidy enough from Broad, without being particularly threatening.

8.39am GMT

29th over: South Africa 103-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 22) Curran continues and Van der Dussen immediately scampers another single. He’s been quite happy to watch most of this morning’s action from the non-striker’s end while Nortje irritates the bowlers at the other end. And to prove the point, the nightwatchman flails a full delivery down to cow corner for four more.

8.35am GMT

28th over: South Africa 97-4 (Van der Dussen 29, Nortje 17) Another edge from Nortje, another boundary down to third man. That takes the lead to 200. Anderson – delighted, of course – has a brief word with Nortje at the non-striker’s end. England need something to happen and they need it soon.

8.31am GMT

27th over: South Africa 92-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 13) Curran comes round the wicket and discomfits the stubborn Nortje with a couple – there’s a huge appeal after a full one thunders into the back pad but the angle means it’s sliding down. Nortje adds the salt by aiming a drive down the ground and edging wide of slip for the first boundary of the morning.

8.26am GMT

26th over: South Africa 88-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 9) Van der Dussen clips Anderson to deep midwicket for three as South Africa continue this steady start. They’ve had a couple of scares – the run-out chance and that review by Nortje – but they’re through the first half hour without loss. Anderson beats Nortje all ends up outside off here but the nightwatchman survives again and is able to turn the next to backward square for a single.

8.23am GMT

25th over: South Africa 84-4 (Van der Dussen 25, Nortje 8) And that’s the end of the over.

8.22am GMT

The ball has clearly come off Nortje’s shoulder.

8.22am GMT

Curran gets one to rear at Nortje, who fends outside off and sees the ball fly through to Bairstow. The finger goes up but he reviews immediately.

8.17am GMT

24th over: South Africa 81-4 (Van der Dussen 23, Nortje 7) Van der Dussen takes a bonkers single and would’ve been out by a yard had Sibley hit the stumps after running in from cover. That’s the only notable action from an otherwise tidy enough over from Anderson.

8.13am GMT

23rd over: South Africa 78-4 (Van der Dussen 21, Nortje 6) An uncomfortable moment for Dom Sibley as he slides in the outfield and his knee jams in the soft turf. He’s wincing for the rest of the over but seems otherwise unhurt. Three from the Curran over.

So in the three Tests since Jonny Bairstow was dropped and told to focus on his batting England’s wicketkeepers have been Jos Buttler, Ollie Pope and now err Jonny Bairstow...

8.08am GMT

22nd over: South Africa 75-4 (Van der Dussen 20, Nortje 4) James Anderson (4-0-19-1) at the other end and Van der Dussen tickles away the first runs of the morning, Anderson straying on to his pads. There’s a yelp of an appeal as VDD shoulders arms outside off and is struck on the pad but there wasn’t quite enough movement back in for Anderson there. He’s clearly looking for an lbw against the upright Van der Dussen, who clips another single to leg, playing around his front pad a little. And from the last Nortje hops and prods uncertainly. Some excellent stuff from Anderson there.

8.03am GMT

21st over: South Africa 72-4 (Van der Dussen 17, Nortje 4) Sam Curran gets the honour for England, sending down a couple of wide looseners at Nortje before finding his line just outside off. He has the nightwatchman playing and missing at the last. A maiden.

8.00am GMT

Right, the players are out on the field. Off we go for a(nother) big first hour …

7.35am GMT

A couple of bits of news: Jos Buttler has joined the England sick ward so Bairstow will take the gloves today. And South Africa’s Aiden Markram has broken a finger – he’s out of the series.

7.28am GMT

In other news, Jofra Archer has to be careful today after yesterday’s slightly bizarre moment at the very end of the day:

7.00am GMT

Hello all and welcome to day three of this enthralling Test. It’s all rather nicely poised isn’t it? South Africa lead by 175 with six second-innings wickets remaining. England aren’t quite out of it but will need a flurry of wickets this morning to stay in the game. South Africa, already in the box seat, know that – what? – another 120-odd runs might be all they need. The first few hours today could be spectacular. At least, England will hope they are.

To catch up, here’s Vic Marks on day two:

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

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Published on December 28, 2019 01:31