Rob Smyth's Blog

South Africa v England: second Test, ... South Africa v England: second Test, ...

FA Cup clockwatch: Man City 4-1 Port Vale, Watford 3-3 Tranmere – as it happened

Tranmere came from three goals down at Vicarage Road, Twitter’s Tom Pope scored at the Etihad and 18-year-old Adam Idah struck a memorable hat-trick for Norwich

7.49pm GMT

Barnes in the groove.

7.48pm GMT

Not a classic ...

7.36pm GMT

That’s it for bumper FA Cup clockwatch. I’ll leave you with a few match reports from around the country. Thanks for your company, emails and calm-inducing observations on VAR. Goodnight!

7.29pm GMT

The full-time scores in the 5.31pm games

7.29pm GMT

Brendan Rodgers maintains his perfect record in the FA Cup third round.

7.25pm GMT

Portsmouth hang on to reach the last 32.

7.25pm GMT

A comfortable evening for Eddie Howe.

7.24pm GMT

Life is precious, dear friend, and if you watched that game you have just wasted two hours of it.

7.22pm GMT

A predictably easy victory for City. But the real winner was Tom Pope.

7.21pm GMT

Conor McAleny gets a non-consolation goal for Fleetwood.

7.20pm GMT

“We don’t have any VAR problems in Scotland, Rob, largely due to the fact that we don’t have VAR,” says Simon McMahon. “I think there’s a lesson in there for all of us. Peace and love. X
“PS If we did Scotland would have won the 1978 World Cup.
“PPS Lol.”

7.18pm GMT

I can’t wait for the post-match interview

1 - At 17 years & 339 days old, Taylor Harwood-Bellis is the youngest Englishman to score for Manchester City in any competition since Micah Richards did so against Aston Villa in the FA Cup back in February 2006 (17y & 240d). Talent. #FACup pic.twitter.com/0xkQGFR95t

7.17pm GMT

Take that, “VAR”. After having a goal ruled out in the first half, Dominic Solanke finally scores his first goal for Bournemouth.

7.16pm GMT

This is my favourite email of a very long day, the dry musings of a man ready to do time for his beliefs

“I can see how there might have been some confusion on City’s third goal,” says J.R in Illinois. “On first viewing it looked like Harwood-Bellis’s left buttcheek hairs may have been standing in an offside position when Stones’s shot went in off him. But upon closer inspection the fraying fabric on the outside of the collar lining of Leon Legge’s left boot was clearly and obviously playing Harwood-Bellis onside. Good goal.”

7.12pm GMT

The latest scores

7.12pm GMT

A second goal for Philip Billing.

7.08pm GMT

Manchester City 4-1 Port Vale “How does Katharine Tabarner know (VAR and City 3rd goal)?” says Neil Truby. “I’m in the bloody stadium and we haven’t a clue how or what was going on!”

It’s almost as if football has sold its soul to television!

7.05pm GMT

Phil Foden makes the most of a rare start, scoring his third goal of the season to seal victory for City.

7.04pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Wolves have had a goal disallowed for handball at Molineux. They have been much the better side in the second half.

7.03pm GMT

And John Marquis does likewise for Portsmouth.

7.01pm GMT

The substitute Callum Wilson scores with his first touch to seal victory, probably, for Bournemouth.

6.58pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Marcus Rashford has hit the bar 27 seconds after coming on as substitute.

6.57pm GMT

Portsmouth, who won the FA Cup in 2008 (yes, yes, and 1939) and reached the final in 2010 (yes, yes, and 1929 and 1934), are ahead at Fleetwood thanks to James Bolton.

6.55pm GMT

Manchester City 3-1 Port Vale Here’s Katharine Tabarner with a full explanation of that third City goal. “Aguero headed across the area, the ball broke for Stones and it deflected off the calf of the youngster on its way in. The VAR check took ages with lines being drawn and redrawn.”

6.52pm GMT

The latest scores

6.51pm GMT

Manchester City 3-1 Port Vale I’ll be honest, I haven’t a clue what happened with that third City goal, primarily because I haven’t seen it. It sounds like there was a VAR check for offside after John Stones had scored, and then the goal was given to Taylor Harwood-Bellis because it hit him on the line.

6.48pm GMT

No he hasn’t - it was the 17-year-old Taylor Harwood-Bellis who scored on his home debut! Stones got the assist.

6.46pm GMT

John Stones has equalised against Tom Pope!

6.42pm GMT

The latest scores

6.41pm GMT

“If there’s one thing more entertaining than seeing players give it the big one, it’s seeing players give it the big one and then delivering,” says Matt Dony. “Good on Pope. Great to see him get a goal.”

Indeed. If you haven’t heard his Undr the Cosh interview, it’s hugely entertaining. I can’t recommend Undr the Cosh enough; it’s consistently brilliant.

6.38pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Wolves, with Raul Jimenez on as sub, have started the second half superbly at Molineux. Scott Murray has the latest.

6.37pm GMT

7/7 - Tom Pope's equaliser for Port Vale against Manchester City was his seventh goal in his last seven FA Cup appearances. Soft. #FACup pic.twitter.com/xqc5GhvxSZ

6.25pm GMT

The half-time scores

6.25pm GMT

Bournemouth 1-0 Luton Late drama in the first half, with Luton’s Alan Sheehan smacking a penalty against the bar in the seventh minute of added time.

6.17pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United It’s half-time at Molineux. Scott Murray is following that one.

6.14pm GMT

Port Vale were level for seven minutes (not counting the

mezzanine
VAR check). But it doesn’t matter how many City score now; Tom Pope has already won.

6.13pm GMT

Harvey Barnes doubles Leicester’s lead. That should - should - be enough.

6.09pm GMT

Twitter’s Tom Pope has equalised for Port Vale! It was a terrific header, apparently, though sadly it didn’t involve John Stones being left in a heap.

Just watched the highlights of the England game! I know I’m a league 2 player, I know he plays for England, I know he’s on £150k a week, I know he’s a million times better player than me but I’d love to play against John Stones every week! I’d get 40 a season! #soft #weakaspiss

6.07pm GMT

Manchester City 1-0 Port Vale “One yard out, open goal, falling backwards,” writes J.A Hopkin. “David Silva hits the bar...”

I love this groundbreaking form of journalism, whereby the readers tell the writer what’s happening.

6.05pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United That might have been a penalty for United, with Brandon Williams apparently taken down by Leander Dendoncker. Paul Tierney, the on-field referee, was not interested and VAR backed him up. If you substitute a herbal tea such as peppermint for more stimulating drinks such as coffee and 94%ABV liquor, your ability to be calm will be enhanced many times.

6.02pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Half an hour gone. Manchester United have had loads of possession, and you know what that means: it’s 0-0. Harry Maguire is struggling with what looks like a hip problem. That would be a huge blow at the best of times, never mind when you have Manchester City (twice) and Liverpool to play this month.

6.00pm GMT

“Nice try with this pseudo-Zen attitude you’re adopting towards that which should not be mentioned,” says Charlie. “But you’re not fooling anyone, and we both know that by the end of this round of games you’re going to be a raging, spluttering wreck because someone’s toe was offside. If you keep trying to bottle it up, at some point in the next ninety minutes there’s going to be an explosion in King’s Place that will be heard throughout the land.”

Let’s hope so.

5.59pm GMT

The latest scores

5.56pm GMT

“Last season I followed the Coupe de France and to these foreign eyes it seems to have oodles of romance,” says Kári Tulinius. “A story like today’s, a team traveling to mainland France from an island in the Indian Ocean and emerging victorious, just couldn’t happen in any other national competition I know of. The Magique of the Coupe.”

You betcha.

5.53pm GMT

Apart from Wolves v Man Utd, which is live on BT Sport, we can’t see the goals from the 5.31pm games, hence the Pulitzer-bothering entries below.

5.52pm GMT

It’s also there!

5.51pm GMT

It’s there!

5.50pm GMT

As well as being a boor and a bore, VAR has now been exposed as heartless swine: Dominic Solanke’s goal has been ruled out for an offside in the build-up.

5.49pm GMT

A year and a day after joining the club, Dominic Solanke finally scores his first goal for Bournemouth!

5.45pm GMT

Wolves 0-0 Manchester United Sergio Romero has just made an outstanding reaction save at Molineux. Manchester United don’t have much to boast about these days, but they can claim one of the best reserve goalkeepers in the world.

5.44pm GMT

“I once won a lifetime supply of Marmite in a newspaper competition, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I’ve still got the jar; I can send it to you if you’re interested.”

5.42pm GMT

“In my opinion, match broadcasts should be labelled to indicate whether or not VAR is in use,” says Peter Oh. “Kind of like the ‘gluten-free’ and ‘non-GMO’ labels on food products.”

VAR, you say? Well, most worries are future-based. They revolve around things that, in most cases, will never happen. Concentrate on the present and the future will take care of itself.

5.42pm GMT

Bournemouth have been struggling of late, but Philip Billing has given them an early lead against occasional giant-killers Luton.

5.37pm GMT

“Port Vale NOT Preston,” says Anne Oakes of an earlier mistake that has now been corrected so there’s no point me linking to it because it’s no longer there. “I am a Burslem ex-pat in France enjoying the end of the festivities so I have nothing better to do than point out your mistake...”

Ach, I thought nobody has spotted.

5.32pm GMT

Peep peep! The 5.31pm games are under way. Scott Murray is also following Wolves v Man Utd.

5.31pm GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Grant Tennille. “Wading in ill-advisedly, I feel certain, but re: jinxing/tempting fate at Watford, how early is too early to deem something a ‘consolation’ goal? If this question has shades of the whole ‘what makes a foul ”tactical”’ discussion, then please accept my apologies.”

Consolation goals, like beauty and Marmite, are in the eye of the beholder. I suppose the events of 4 February 2004 should have taught us there is no such thing as a foregone conclusion.

5.20pm GMT

And here’s your hot-off-the-press report on

Watford’s spectacular capitulation
Tranmere’s heroic comeback at Vicarage Road:

5.18pm GMT

And these are the late kick-offs

5.17pm GMT

And our take from the south coast, where Brighton came unstuck against Sheffield Wednesday:

5.12pm GMT

Our match report from Fulham:

5.09pm GMT

The biggest cup shock of the day has come in France:

5.01pm GMT

“Way to go Rob,” says Ivar Laanen. “You really jinxed Watford with your little speech, in which you said, ‘They’ve played four home games under Nigel Pearson, including today, and it’s probably not tempting fate to suggest they have won all four.’ It’s your fault Tranmere came back. Well done.”

You make a fair point. I suppose I would say there is seldom any rational reason for having regrets about past deeds or events. Because the past does not exist in any other way than in your memory. When you recognise this lack of reality, you can be calm.

4.59pm GMT

Peep peep! That’s it for the 3.01pm matches. I’m going to take a short break, but will be back for the 5.31pm kick-offs.

The full-time scores

4.59pm GMT

A dog of a game, by all accounts, but Brentford are through.

4.58pm GMT

Two teenagers, Will Smallbone and Jake Vokins, scored to give Southampton a comfortable victory.

4.58pm GMT

Non-league Hartlepool threatened a shock when they led in the first half, but Oxford were too good after the break.

4.57pm GMT

Two brilliant goals from Anthony Knockaert and Harry Arter give Fulham victory over Premier League Aston Villa.

4.56pm GMT

Cardiff come from 2-0 down at half-time to avoid a shock defeat.

4.56pm GMT

That was a cracking game, and included a Panenka that hit the bar from Armand Gnanduillet.

4.55pm GMT

Peep peep! League One Tranmere come from three goals down at half-time to earn a replay.

4.54pm GMT

The Irish teenager Adam Idah’s accomplished hat-trick puts Norwich through without alarm.

4.52pm GMT

Peep peep! Sheffield Wednesday have put Premier League Brighton out of the FA Cup.

4.51pm GMT

Another teenager, Jake Vokins, seals Southampton’s place in the last 32 with a deflected shot.

4.50pm GMT

Only Liverpool and Manchester City have scored more goals in all competitions than Oxford this season.

4.49pm GMT

“The way it’s used at the moment, VAR is not conducive to anyone’s mental health and well-being, I reckon,” says Simon McMahon. “The powers that be should try the more mindful approach to decision making pioneered by the MBM. Seriously. Just ask the MBM. It’d be quicker, and more accurate.”

I agree. Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange and pretend you’re laughing at it.

4.47pm GMT

Tariqe Fosu-Henry scores an open goal to seal an impressive comeback from Oxford.

4.47pm GMT

Watford 3-3 Tranmere He kicked out at a Tranmere player, and he’s off.

4.45pm GMT

Paul Mullin hammers it down the middle! Tranmere, who were lucky to be 3-0 down at half-time, are level!

4.44pm GMT

Blah blah, Tranmere have a penalty!

4.44pm GMT

Oh my days.

4.43pm GMT

Ther’s more football after this

4.42pm GMT

“According to the commentator, Monthe is pronounced Montay,” says Mac Millings, “so I’m guessing his nickname is Burns.”

4.40pm GMT

The latest scores

4.39pm GMT

“How about that hat-trick for the young Cork man, Idah?” says J.R in Illinois. “Pretty sweet. And here is where I mention that if they had been using VAR his third goal would have been chalked off as he was offside before he won the penalty. Sorry. VAR is so terrible that even when it isn’t in use the mere fact that it exists is so disheartening as to ruin non-VAR games as well.”

VAR, you say? There is little doubt that those who get the most from life are those who look for the wonder in even the smallest things they do. Cultivate this skill and you’ll find peace and satisfaction as well.

4.39pm GMT

Crikey. A mistake from the Watford keeper Daniel Bachmann allows Emmanuel Monthe to bring Tranmere right back into the match. If his nickname isn’t Cremda, then the world is going to hell in a handcart.

4.36pm GMT

“You’ve accidentally added the word ‘again’ to the end of that sentence (4.20pm),” says Matt Dony. “(Also, what could a therapist possibly offer you that you can’t get from an extensive network of well-balanced, rational, intelligent MBM correspondents?)”

I’m sorry, I thought that was a rhetorical question.

4.33pm GMT

Fulham are ahead for the second time thanks to the on-loan Harry Arter.

4.31pm GMT

Oxford have battered Hartlepool in the second half and deserve their lead. It’s a beautiful solo goal, too, from Shannon Baptiste, who moves elegantly through the defence and eases the ball into the net.

4.30pm GMT

For the love of blood pressure, I can’t keep up with this. Arnand Gnanduillet has missed a penalty for Blackpool, Panenkaing it onto the crossbar.

4.28pm GMT

Reading equalise for the second time!

4.27pm GMT

Connor Jennings gets a consolation goal for Tranmere.

4.26pm GMT

Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa That goal came from Anwar El Ghazi, who apparently nicked it off Jonathan Kodjia.

4.26pm GMT

Jack Reach’s deflected free-kick has given Sheffield Wednesday the lead at the Amex Stadium!

4.25pm GMT

Villa are level! But another Premier League team are in trouble...

4.24pm GMT

There’s your third round fairytale! Adam Idah, the 18-year-old striker from Cork, scores from the penalty spot to complete a hat-trick on his FA Cup debut.

4.22pm GMT

Reading were level for only four minutes. Armand Gnanduillet has restored Blackpool’s lead with a

thunderbast-
spectacular strike.

4.20pm GMT

“The main problem with VAR isn’t the V part, it’s the AR part, the human part,” says J.R. in Illinois. “I have seen the VAR make some seriously grievous decisions but you should have seen me at the moment I realised that they were using VAR in some, but not all, FA Cup matches. I was literally shocked and my mouth involuntarily hung open for several moments in disbelief. What rocket scientists came up with that plan? And why am I surprised even though I know I shouldn’t be?”

I wish I could reply, but my therapist says I need to stop talking about VAR and start loving myself again.

4.18pm GMT

The latest scores

4.18pm GMT

Another equaliser, this time at the Madejski Stadium, thanks to a stinging shot from Sam Baldock.

4.17pm GMT

Cardiff have scored twice in the first 10 minutes of the second half, with Gavin Whyte grabbing the equaliser.

4.16pm GMT

Brighton 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday Steven Fletcher has been stretchered off with what sounds like a very bad injury. He landed awkwardly on a straight leg, and the BT Sport pundits think it could be a cruciate-ligament injury. At the age of 32, that’s especially worrying.

4.14pm GMT

Robert Hall scores a fine goal, not dissimilar to Knockaert’s, to equalise for Oxford against non-league Hartlepools.

4.13pm GMT

Aston Villa could be the first Premier League side to go out of the FA Cup. Anthony Knockaert moves infield from the right and whips a beautiful curling shot into the top corner. That’s a lovely goal.

4.12pm GMT

Cardiff are back in the game thanks to Callum Paterson. Yep.

4.11pm GMT

The impressive teenager Will Smallbone marks his debut with an accomplished finish to give Southampton the lead.

4.10pm GMT

Preston pull one back at the start of the second half. A corner bounces around the Norwich area before Billy Bodin does the necessary.

3.57pm GMT

“Albion Rovers 0-3 Stirling Albion is the half time at Cliftonhill,” writes our unpaid etc. Simon McMahon. “This year is the 100th anniversary of Rovers’ solitary appearance in a major cup final, the 1920 Scottish Cup. Having beaten Rangers in a second replay to reach the final, they lost 3-2 to Kilmarnock in front of 95,000 at Hampden. Apparently their goalkeeper arrived at Hampden direct from the cells, having been somewhat ‘tired and emotional’ the previous evening.”

And some people have the effrontery to say football has never been better.

3.54pm GMT

“Watford cruised to a 3-0 lead at the break,” writes our unpaid intern American Watford correspondent Mac Millings. “The Hornets really didn’t create an awful lot, but when they did, they made it count, with three beautifully taken goals. Tranmere have worked hard, and their travelling support have been tremendous, but Watford simply have too much quality for them. Dele-Bashiru in particular has looked sharp.”

3.51pm GMT

The half-time scores

3.50pm GMT

There’s a shock on in Wales. Harry McKirdy has put Carlisle, who sit 21st in League Two, a couple of goals ahead against the Championship side Cardiff.

3.48pm GMT

Shane Long has a goal disallowed for an unclear and unobvious offside.

3.47pm GMT

Emiliano Marcondes scores for 2021’s hipster favourites.

3.42pm GMT

Brighton 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday “Steven Fletcher’s barnet looks magnificent,” says John Hartson on BT Sport. “He had less hair than me 12 months ago. Now he looks like Rod Stewart!”

3.40pm GMT

The exciting Irish teenager Adam Idah gets his second, clipping the ball into an empty net from 40 yards. He looks a prospect, this lad.

3.37pm GMT

The latest scores

3.36pm GMT

Watford’s spectacular revival continues. They’ve played four home games under Nigel Pearson, including today, and it’s probably not tempting fate to suggest they have won all four. Roberto Pereyra has put them 3-0 up against Tranmere with a classy finish.

3.35pm GMT

ICYMI, the biggest story of the early games came at Spotland, where 17-year-old Luke Matheson set up 40-year-old Aaron Wilbraham to earn a deserved replay for Rochdale against Norwich.

3.31pm GMT

Blackpool lead against the run of play. Nathan Delfouneso, the former England Under-21 striker, has scored from close range.

3.30pm GMT

A mistake from the Preston keeper Connor Ripley allows Onel Hernandez to double Norwich’s lead.

3.24pm GMT

Southampton 0-0 Huddersfield Southampton might have had a penalty for a shirt pull on Jan Vestergaard. VAR is being used, but decided it was not a clear and obvious foul. Don’t go there, I’m on a VAR detox.

3.22pm GMT

“From the photo of Millwall’s third goal,” begins Peter Littley, “it seems there were more goals than paying spectators.”

3.16pm GMT

The latest scores

3.16pm GMT

Tranmere try to play out from the back. It doesn’t go entirely to plan, and Nathaniel Chalobah makes it 2-0 to Watford.

3.15pm GMT

It’s haemorrhaging goals in the FA Cup. Jack Bridge wins a dodgy penalty and takes it himself. His effort is saved but he scores from the replay.

3.13pm GMT

Watford Reserves take an early lead through a cracking long-range strike from Tom Dele-Bashiru.

3.13pm GMT

Non-league Hartlepool lead at Oxford! The home side faffed around in defence, allowing Mark Kitching to nip in and score.

3.10pm GMT

Cork's Adam Idah scores! SCENES! Magic of the cup all over the gaff! https://t.co/TzmkjHewuS

3.07pm GMT

“No cup games in Scotland this week as the big boys take a break, but you don’t get more romantic than the Scottish lower leagues, do you?” swoons Simon McMahon. “In the Scottish Championship, runaway leaders Dundee United make the long trip to Dumfries to face Queen of the South. The Tannadice men have won nine and drawn one of their last ten in the league, establishing a 14-point lead over the chasing pack in the process. Their last defeat was at Queen of the South, though, a 4-0 shellacking at that, so they’ll be keen to take revenge today. There’s also an Albion derby as it’s Albion Rovers v Stirling Albion. You don’t get more romantic than that, eh?”

3.06pm GMT

An early lead for Norwich, with the Irish teenager Adam Idah scoring very confidently from Marco Stiepermann’s through pass. I am paraphrasing Chris Sutton on BT Sport here, as they are not allowed to show the goals from the 3.01pm kick-offs. Bah, gah and bah some more: it was fun being able to see the thing I have to describe during the early games.

3.01pm GMT

Peep peep! The 3.01pm games are under way.

2.44pm GMT

Here’s the match report from our man in Rochdale:

2.43pm GMT

2.33pm GMT

Peep peep! I’m going to take a short break before the 3.01pm games begin. In the meantime, here’s a quiz.

2.32pm GMT

The final scores in the 12.31pm kick-offs

2.32pm GMT

Peep peep! Tom Eaves’ earthy hat-trick has put Hull into the fourth round.

2.29pm GMT

Rotherham 2-3 Hull City Rotherham almost equalise straight away, with Reece Burke heading against his own post!

2.28pm GMT

Tom Eaves completes his hat-trick to put Hull into the next round! He headed home from close range after a scramble at a corner, and celebrated in style by whipping off his top to reveal a GPS vest.

2.26pm GMT

Jeremie Bela’s late goal puts ten-man Birmingham in the last 32.

2.25pm GMT

An impressive performance from Shrewsbury, who could easily have won at Ashton Gate.

2.25pm GMT

A pretty comfortable victory for a strong Burnley side, who led 3-0 after 23 minutes and were never in danger after that.

2.24pm GMT

Peep peep! Aaron Wilbraham, the FA Cup’s great quadragenarian, secures a lucrative and deserves replay for Rochdale against injury-hit Newcastle.

2.23pm GMT

Ten-man Birmingham have nicked it! Jeremie Bela moves into the area and sidefoots a low cross-shot through the keeper Jayson Leutwiler. That was poor keeping and even worse defending, with all the Blackburn players backing away from Bela in the area.

2.21pm GMT

An easy win for Gary Rowett’s side.

2.21pm GMT

Rochdale 1-1 Newcastle Steve Bruce’s side are hanging on for dear life, or at least a replay, at Spotland. Follow the last few minutes with Scott Murray.

2.18pm GMT

These are the 3.01pm fixtures, more of which anon.

2.16pm GMT

“Oh damn, somebody already beat me to it!” says Adam Hirst, who has sent a link to that Malcolm Macdonald goal (1.49pm). “That’ll teach me to concentrate on the cricket and only look in on you occasionally. Mind you, I bet that’s what you’re doing as well…”

That’s a despicable slur on my professionalism . I am completely focussed on the third round on the fact thaT DEAN ELGAR HAS JUST SLOGGED DOM BESS STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR! WOOHOO, YA DANCER!

2.12pm GMT

The latest scores

2.12pm GMT

Millwall seal victory at the Den, with Tom Bradshaw sweeping in from close range.

2.10pm GMT

Oh my, this is a classic FA Cup story! Aaron Wilbraham, aged 40 (F-O-R-T-Y), has come off the bench to equalise for Rochdale against Newcastle. Scott Murray has more.

2.09pm GMT

The teenager Ricky Jade-Jones pulls one back for Peterborough, shinning a volley into the net from close range after a scramble at a corner.

2.07pm GMT

Millwall 2-0 Newport Joss Labadie is lucky to get only a yellow card after planting his studs into the calf of Connor Mahoney.

2.06pm GMT

Rotherham 2-2 Hull The referee spent an age talking to the assistant about whether the ball went out of play before Kane crossed for Eaves to score. That’s all very strange, because there’s no VAR, and it didn’t go out of play anyway. Everyone’s lost the noggin post-VAR.

2.04pm GMT

Hull are level against ten-man Rotherham. Tom Eaves gets his second goal, stretching to head into the net after a fine run down the left by Herbie Kane.

1.58pm GMT

Latest scores

1.55pm GMT

Birmingham 1-1 Blackburn Sunjic only came on as a substitute two minutes before he was sent off. Good lad.

1.55pm GMT

What. A. Goal.

Kyle Vassell! #FACup pic.twitter.com/5Wt3TVwPvU

1.54pm GMT

Millwall double their lead through Connor Mahoney’s calm penalty.

1.53pm GMT

Blackburn are level - and Birmingham are down to 10 men. Ivan Sunjic, mistaking himself for Franz Beckenbauer, gave the ball away to Sam Gallagher and compounded the mistake by shoving his over in the penalty area. He was sent off, and Adam Armstrong thumped the penalty down the middle.

1.50pm GMT

Rochdale 0-1 Newcastle Ian Henderson has hit the post for Rochdale, who are putting Newcastle under increasing pressure.

1.49pm GMT

This is a great spot from Gavin English

“Rob, take a look at this – almost identical to Kyle Vassell’s goal.”

1.47pm GMT

Latest scores

1.45pm GMT

Rochdale 0-1 Newcastle What, another one? Yep, Newcastle have suffered their 48th injury of the festive period. Scott Murray has the details.

1.43pm GMT

Millwall 1-0 Newport Padraig Amond has missed a great chance for Newport, scuffing a loose ball wide from eight yards.

1.43pm GMT

Aaron Lennon plays a beautiful reverse pass to put Jay Rodriguez through, and he finishes with the minimum of fuss.

1.38pm GMT

Shrewsbury equalise with a fine goal. A corner was half cleared to Sean Goss, 25 yards from goal, and he curled a lovely, precise shot that went into the net off the far post.

1.33pm GMT

1.22pm GMT

Half-time entertainment

This is great, the end.

1.21pm GMT

Peep peep! It’s half-time in the six 12.31pm games, and these are the scores:

1.20pm GMT

What a goal! Kyle Vassell has given 10-man Rotherham the lead with a spectacular goal from the left edge of the box. He allowed a short throw to run across his body, waited for the ball to bounce up and smashed a swirling shot that flew over Matt Ingram and into the far corner. It was very similiar to this goal from Steve McManaman, only better.

1.12pm GMT

You don’t see many consolation goals in the first half, but Peterborough have got one at Turf Moor. Matthew Lowton’s backheader was short, and Ivan Toney danced around Joe Hart to score confidently from a tight angle.

1.10pm GMT

“My favourite third round goal is Shane Long for Reading vs Liverpool in 2010,” says Rob Evans. “Cold, possibly snowy weekday evening. We’re playing well but it’s Liverpool, and it’s Anfield and somehow it is extra time. Reading favourite Bryn Gunnarson turns into Garrincha, throws in a Cruyff turn and a nutmeg before pinging in for Shane Long to score.”

1.06pm GMT

“I join Mr. Pearson in my astonishment that all the early matches are available here in the colonies,” says James Thomas. “I’ve opted for Birmingham-Blackburn, although I’m really waiting for Fulham-Aston Villa later. What do the Cottagers need to do, in your humble estimation, to earn promotion, and stick, this season?”

Erm, win the play-offs? I’m no Championship expert – I’m not sure I’m an anything expert – but it does look like Leeds and West Brom will be hard to catch.

1.03pm GMT

Bristol City 1-0 Shrewbury Town Ah, here we go. A short corner on the left, a deep cross and a precise looping header from Famara Diedhiou.

1.03pm GMT

I can’t describe this one because BT Sport are currently on an ad break. Hotels.com, since you asked.

1.02pm GMT

Latest scores

1.00pm GMT

Rotherham 1-1 Hull Rotherham are down to 10 men. Adam Thompson has been sent off for a studs-up lunge at Keane Lewis-Potter. I suspect it was overzealous rather than malicious, but it was a dangerous tackle and he had to walk.

12.58pm GMT

“Mickey Thomas’s free kick against for Wrexham against Arsenal would still be rising today had the net not stopped it,” says Matt Dony. “Xabi Alonso scored against Luton from way inside his own half on his WRONG FOOT. But, although it might not be the most romantic or spectacular choice, Van Dijk’s header against Everton two years ago looks like a turning point. He announced his arrival in style, and went on to have a ridiculously transformative effect on the team. That one probably gets my vote. I want to be VVD when I grow up.”

12.57pm GMT

Jeff Hendrick’s deflected shot from the edge of the area extendes Burnley’s lead.

12.56pm GMT

An equaliser for Rotherham! Michael Smith, given too much time in the area, slams a rising shot into the top corner.

12.53pm GMT

The latest scores

12.52pm GMT

“Evening Rob,” says Patrick O’Brien. “My favourite MIKEL ARTETA!!!!! third round goal MIKEL!!!!! ARTE!!!!!TA was MIKEL ARTETA!!!!!!! when ... um, effing love MIKEL ARTETA me.”

12.51pm GMT

Hull take a slightly underserved lead at the New York Stadium, with Tom Eaves dragging a low shot into the corner from close range.

12.50pm GMT

A neat finish from Miguel Almiron gives Newcastle a deserved lead. Scott Murray will tell you more.

12.50pm GMT

Bliss it was in that dawn to be alive, but to be a Clockwatcher was very heaven

We can’t see the goals when we do Premier League clockwatches, which makes for a peculiar experience. Thankfully BT Sport are allowed to show the goals from the 12.31pm games. It’s quite an experience to actually describe the goals rather than paraphrase Paul Merson and Matt Le Tissier.

12.47pm GMT

Burnley are cruising into the fourth round. Erik Pieters, 25 yards out, thumps a bouncing ball across Christy Pym and into the far corner. The keeper might have done better.

12.46pm GMT

A preview of one of tomorrow’s big games

12.43pm GMT

Burnley 1-0 Peterborough Pym makes a good save from Gudmundsson’s low shot. Peterborough could be blown away here.

12.42pm GMT

A question for both you readers: what’s your favourite FA Cup third round goal and why? I’m not sure I can get past Ronnie Radford.

12.41pm GMT

Rodriguez gives Burnley the lead from close range after Chris Wood’s header is saved by Christy Pym. He was offside in the build up, but it was a new phase of play by the time he scored, which meant the goal survived a VAR check. Incidentally, VAR is only being used in matches at Premier League grounds.

12.40pm GMT

Millwall take an early lead with Matt Smith scoring from 10 yards after a left-wing corner was allowed too bounce across the box.

12.37pm GMT

Birmingham have scored the first goal of the third round. Daniel Crowley, once of Arsenal, surges from the halfway line to the edge of the box and cracks a low shot into the far corner. Good goal, that.

12.36pm GMT

Burnley and Newcastle, the two Premier League sides playing this lunchtime, have both picked strong XIs. It will be hard for any of the Small 13 to win the competition, but there is certainly scope for a run to the semi-finals, perhaps the final.

12.34pm GMT

“One of the reasons I subscribed to ESPN+ was so I could watch FA Cup matches here in the USA,” says Joe Pearson. “Little did I expect they would ALL be available. What do I do?”

Watch Rochdale v Newcastle, and keep pressing F5 on this clockwatch so that we get more hits and The Man labours under the misapprehension that I am more popular than the average Clockwatcher. He might even give me a packet of bonbons.

12.28pm GMT

The 12.31pm games are about to kick off. A reminder that Scott Murray is following Rochdale v Newcastle.

12.27pm GMT

“Happy new year!” says Mike MacKenzie. “Not sure how practical the following ideas are but offer them anyway to improve FA Cup:

12.15pm GMT

As with 99.9999 per cent of everything Scott Murray writes, this is a brilliant read

11.49am GMT

And here’s a preview of every third round match

Peterborough think they will be facing a shadow Burnley side when they turn up for an early kick-off at Turf Moor, and they might be right. The FA Cup has come at an awkward time for the Clarets, who have lost six of their last eight league games, are only four points above the relegation zone and face Chelsea, Leicester, Manchester United and Arsenal when the Premier League resumes. Sean Dyche will still try to pick a side capable of winning the tie against League One’s top scorers, but anything could happen. VAR will be in use here, as it will be at all ties hosted by Premier League teams.

11.37am GMT

Some pre-match reading

11.30am GMT

Hello. These all-dayers are getting out of hand. It was the Premier League on New Year’s Day, and today it’s an FA Cup third round special. First orders will be at 12.31pm, when the opening round of matches kick off. There are more games at 3.01pm, then a third lot starting at 5.31pm.

We’ll have separate MBMs for the two televised games, Rochdale v Newcastle and Wolves v Man Utd while muggins here will attempt to keep up with all the other games. The unusual kick-off times, as you are probably aware, are so that we can take a minute or three to think about mental health. Football has come a long way in the 21 years since Stan Collymore was made a pariah.

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Published on January 04, 2020 11:36

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