Nancy Wilson's Blog, page 22

May 1: Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

I am sure I am not the only mother out there who has thought of this passage of Ecclesiastes while wrestling through a challenging phase with your kids. I feel like the very famous lines that follow this verse could be replaced with such common place things as ” A time to be morning sick and a time to feel good. A time to be preparing for birth and a time to have already given birth. A time to nurse and a time to wean. A time to be totally freaked out tired and a time to sleep through the night. A time to feel capable and a time to feel impossibly slow. A time to have well behaved children and a time to have children who are not. A time to feel like the little years will never end, a time to feel like your children grew up when you weren’t looking.”

Often times you feel like you just have your head down and you are just trying to be faithful. And then gradually, almost without you noticing that anything happened, you realize that that phase is gone. In my case I don’t think I had noticed that we were out of the baby work until we were back in it, and I was surprised by how much time a baby takes. Really? This is my sixth child. How did this surprise me? Where have I been?

This may seem like a ridiculous thing to have to point out, but I am going to anyways. Sometimes the same phase repeats itself. Sometimes you thought you had gotten all the grace you could need for a phase, but in reality you had just grown out of it. My husband brought this up with me recently. He pointed out to me that I wasn’t relapsing because it is hard for me to handle a toddler and an infant. In his words, this is another spring, another season of planting. God gives the seasons and He gives the grace to weather them.

But there is something that is very freeing about realizing that your spiritual life has seasons also, and repeating a spiritual lesson is not necessarily a sign of failure. Sometimes you are back to the springtime basics, where you are in constant need of encouragement that God loves you. That His grace is sufficient. That there is nothing new under the sun. God is our constant, He is our shelter from the storms of every season of our lives, and our hope for the next. Rest in Him. For in Him, ”There is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)

 

 

April 30: Christ’s Wardrobe

From Thomas Watson’s Harmless as Doves:

“Christ is beauty to adorn, gold to enrich, balm to heal, bread to strengthen, wine to comfort, salvation to crown. If we are in danger, Christ is a shield; and if we are disconsolate, he is a sun; for he hath enough in his wardrobe abundantly to furnish the soul.”

Women particularly appreciate a wardrobe, and we are supposed to be like this. We are naturally interested in adorning ourselves, and when problems arise, it is either because we reject this part of our identity as women and make plainness a virtue, or we go overboard and deck ourselves out so much that we jingle when we walk. When we are motivated rightly, we adorn ourselves out of a healthy self-respect as women created in the image of God with a desire to please Him.

But let’s switch the gears here and talk about adorning our souls. The Watson quote above is speaking to us about what’s in Christ’s wardrobe that He has opened to us. We are not left to ourselves when it comes to adorning our souls. We put on Christ. He welcomes us to come into His closet and put on His beauty of holiness. His wardrobe is bursting at the seams, and we can’t “overdo” it when it comes to putting on the strength and comfort and healing and salvation that He offers us.

It is pointless to go about with a threadbare soul when Christ has offered us all the riches of His wardrobe. He is Himself clothed with majesty and strength (Ps. 93:1) and honor  (Ps. 104:1). When our souls are clothed in Christ, we are dressed indeed, and able to walk uprightly before Him, rejoicing.

Isaiah 61:10 says,”I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is clothed with scarlet, with silk and purple on the outside. But her soul is clothed with strength and honor. Is your souls lacking? You know where to go. Open Christ’s wardrobe and ask Him to clothe you with salvation and righteousness. Then be joyful in your God.

April 29: Excuses

(This will wrap up my posts on Matthew Henry’s Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit.)

“We must gird it [meekness] fast to us and not leave it to hang loose so as to be snatched away by every temptation.Carelessness is no commendation of the soul’s adorning. Watchfulness and resolution in the strength of Christ must tie the knot upon our graces.”

If we are really serious about this idea of having meekness and quietness of spirit, we must knock ourselves out to get it. As Henry says, we have to tie it on tightly with a strong knot. We can’t just talk big about it while living, reacting, speaking, and spouting off carelessly. Meekness is not something that will just arrive on our doorstep one morning and, poof, we’ve got it. Meekness requires diligence and watchfulness. We have to mortify our passions, and that means putting them to death.

If we just think meekness sounds like a fun idea, we will let it sort of dangle loosely around us like a scarf. Whenever it is convenient (which means when ever we are not being tempted), we will demonstrate our meek spirit, but when a real temptation  comes along, all our good resolutions will melt away. After losing several rounds, we may be tempted to just give the whole thing up. It’s far easier to just let the flesh have its way. We may tell ourselves that we are too old to change, that this is just our personality, or that our hormones make us do this. But none of those excuses will bring any real peace or comfort.

Notice in the quote above that it is “in the strength of Christ” that we put this meekness on. We must look to Him for it, not to ourselves. He can “tie the knot” of meekness on tight. When this happens, we give Him the glory and we don’t commend ourselves. When God gives us strength to give a soft answer, to overlook an insult, to cover sin with love, and to return good for evil, He gets all the credit and thanks because we know that in and of ourselves none of that would happen.

So don’t give way to the temptation to give up. Bad habits are hard to break, but they are not impossible to break, especially when you have a good, gracious, all-powerful and loving God who will enable you to do this by means of His grace. Pray for this peace-loving meekness and quietness of spirit. It is precious in God’s sight.

April 26: Mastering our Passions

(Continuing with the subject of meekness from Matthew Henry.)

“He has the sweetest and surest peace who is most master of his own passions. The comfort that a man has in governing himself is much greater than he could have in having people serve him and nations bow down to him. It is certain that the worst enemies we have, if ever they break loose and get head, are in our own bosoms.”

How can we defeat these enemies in our own hearts? How can we learn to govern ourselves and our passions? Here are some suggestions.

1. Repent of any and all un-confessed angers of the past. We sometimes confess the sin lightly, giving ourselves excuses and blaming our outbursts on the sins of others. “I’m sorry for being cross, but you were provoking me by your….” Our confessions should be unilateral: “Please forgive me for being angry and saying hurtful things. I was wrong.”

2. Rather than seeking forgiveness, we try to make up for angry outbursts by being sweetie-nice after everything has blown over. But sugar-coating sin is hypocrisy, which just adds another sin to the pile.

3. Every morning pray that God will fill you with His Holy Spirit and display the fruit of the Spirit in your life, particularly peace and patience and kindness.

4. Ask God to reveal any hidden sins in your life. Anger comes straight up from our hearts and comes out our mouths. What is feeding this anger? How did it get there? Most likely some ugly attitudes in rooted in your heart. Ask God to show you what they are. Could be resentment, envy, bitterness, lack of forgiveness, or pride. If your anger comes out toward one particular person, check for a grievance you have nurtured or a critical spirit about perceived or real defects this person has. Confess it all and begin to pray for this person.

5. Be watchful. Pray that you will see temptation coming so you can get yourself prepared to resist it. When your heart rises up within you, subdue it by God’s grace. Which is worse from God’s perspective: the provocation or your outburst of anger?

6. Consider your own shortcomings, faults, and sins. Why should you be so hard on others when you want them to have patience and understanding toward you?

7. Remind yourself that God is using these provocations to teach you something. Are you listening? Are you paying attention? Are you learning? Each provocation is an opportunity for you to grow in grace and strengthen your faith. Don’t miss your opportunities and don’t squander them.

8. When you start to respond in anger, repent quickly and immediately. Don’t put it off. Stop mid-anger and seek forgiveness.

9. Don’t set yourself up for temptation. If you are always tempted to get angry at your family when you host a baby shower, then take a break for a while. Learn to govern yourself in the little things and get good at those before you try again.

10. Thank God for every victory, small or large. Praise Him and ask Him for more grace and more victory. Don’t be content to make small progress; be diligent to get further up and further in. This is a race with a prize. Lay hold of it!

April 25: The Beauty of Meekness

(I am continuing to pull some thoughts from Matthew Henry’s The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit.)

One of the things I enjoy about reading sixteenth-century Puritan works is the vocabulary they use. Consider this: “Exorbitant passion is a discord in the soul; it is like a tumor in the face which spoils the beauty of it: meekness scatters the tumor, binds down the swelling, and so prevents the deformity, and preserves the beauty.”

His point in this vivid metaphor is to show us how ugly (and uglifying) a bad temper can be even on a pretty face. Beauty is as beauty does is an old adage because it is true. A woman with a bad temper is an eyesore. Anger is one of those ugly pills, and it works its results inexorably over the face.

Not only does anger make the angry person unattractive, it also scatters destruction, causing collateral (emotional) damage on everyone in range. Have you ever had someone angry at you? You probably felt like you’d gotten a black eye afterwards. Anger can have disastrous results, alienating loved ones and casting an unhappy shadow over the home.

On the other hand, meekness keeps the soul peaceful and quiet, which Henry says “puts a charming loveliness and amiableness upon the soul, which renders it acceptable to all who know what true worth and beauty is.” Jesus told us that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like the simple lilies in the field. Meekness is like that. “All wise and good people will reckon those best dressed that put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and walk with him in the white of meekness and innocency.”

A woman who is facing many provocations in her day (hard to imagine, right?) and rides them out with meekness and quietness, is a glory to behold. She keeps her spirit in check, and she adopts a cheerful composure that keeps the atmosphere of the home peaceful and not turbulent. She is not complaining, blaming, snapping, cross, or snippy. Reacting to provocation in a fleshly way requires no training, no practice, no prayer. A quiet spirit absorbs the shock and doesn’t make a lot of loud fuss and bother. A fleshly response is always noisy, often emotional, and sets everyone on edge.

Meekness “is an ornament of God’s own making.” It’s no dime-store trinket. We can’t buy it. There’s no price tag on it, though think what some might pay for it!  In Christ we are free to put it on like a beautiful jewel, and we glorify the Giver when we wear it. It is a credit to Him, and He is pleased to see us “bejeweled” with His gift to us.

“For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation” (Psalm 149:4).

 

 

 

April 24: Clothe Yourselves (Colossians 3:12-15)

Clothing is obviously a big part of how we present ourselves to others – it is often the first thing that people see. We recognize people by their uniforms – here is a policeman, here is the mailman, she must be the waitress, this person knows his way around a engine. Uniforms are a simple way to communicate, externally, what we are internally. In other words, the police uniform shows that a person has been given a certain authority. A lifeguard wears the uniform, which means (hopefully) that they know what to do in an emergency.

But even beyond uniforms, our clothing communicates. We all know what a new outfit does to how we feel about ourselves. New shoes can do a lot more for a person than would seem possible. My kids do exactly what I remember doing as a child, they take off running in them- it makes them feel faster, able to jump higher – simply because they feel new. We stand taller, think about ourselves less. And of course, our clothing sometimes inspires conversation. “Where did you get that necklace?!”, or “I have been looking for a coat like that for years – where is it from?” Or the uncertain compliment of, “Did you make that yourself?”

Now the reason that I bring this up is that I want you to have it in mind when we read these verses (and the many others like it in Scripture).

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;  bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.  But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Putting these things on is not something that remains between us and God. This is a public display on the outside of what we are on the inside. We have been saved! We are holy! We are loved! That is what we are on the inside. It is what qualifies us, and compels us to wear these things on the outside.

Now what kind of effect does putting these things on have? What happens when we walk around the world dressed in the tender mercies of Christ towards us? What happens when humility and meekness and kindness adorn us? What does it mean?

Well, one thing that is means to put these things on is to put them on in a way that is visible. It is not enough to be kind occasionally on the inside. Kindness should be as visible as a shirt is. Mercy, long-suffering, humility, forgiveness. These are garments that are of great value. It isn’t just God telling us to put these things on so that we might be comfortable, or put them on so that we won’t be naked, or put them on so that we will be warm. Those things might be true, but it isn’t the whole truth.

These things are profoundly evangelistic. The world cannot help but see what we are wearing.

“Where did you get that?” From God the Father. “How can I get one?” Through the death of His Son. “I have been looking for forgiveness for years, and I didn’t think you could get it anymore.” You can. “That is probably too expensive for me.” It has already been bought for you.

It is easy to want to put these things on in a way that wouldn’t be so visible to anyone. Something that we could get out sometime if we needed encouragement. But these things are not so small that we can make them into a tiny charm bracelet – a little something that only we know the meaning of. The truth is that we have been called to wear the most expensive, exquisite, mind boggling garments as our uniform, and we are to wear them in a way that invites the world to join us.

April 23: Quietness of Spirit

(Continuing with more from Matthew Henry’s The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit.)

“In a word, quietness of spirit is the soul’s stillness and silence from intending provocation to, or resenting provocation from, any with whom we have to do.”

That’s a pretty tall order, wouldn’t you say? In order to keep our mouths shut when we want to tick someone off or when someone ticks us off, we must practice, practice, practice. And of course it is the Spirit who by His grace fills us with the means to exercise authority over our own hearts and mouths.

By practice I mean that we have a lookout for all those daily provocations we habitually react to with anger or peevishness, cool silence or other displays of annoyance. Others no doubt see us reacting this way. Practice means that we ask the Holy Spirit to open our own eyes to these things so we can see what we need to change. Change doesn’t come naturally or easily, but it won’t come at all unless we set ourselves to be on guard against all those things that disquiet us.

Henry uses these examples of quietness: when the air is quiet from wind, when the sea is quiet from waves, when the land is quiet from war, when a weaned child is quiet from fussing.

If you’ve ever seen a lake in the early morning that is still as glass, that is what quietness of spirit looks like. No ripples, no waves, no froth, no foam. When our hearts are quiet, they are not churned up by taking offense at others nor by dishing it out. Quiet spirits are not worried and anxious because they are submitted to God’s wise providence over all things.

Quietness is a real creature-comfort, because we can’t enjoy the outward comforts we have if our spirits are all disjointed with anger or bitterness or worry.

“The conquest of an unruly passion is more honorable than that of an unruly people, for it requires more true conduct. It is easier to kill an enemy without, which may be done at a blow, than to chain up and govern an enemy within, which requires a constant, even, steady hand, and a long and regular management.”

In other words, “Go,fight, win!” Rather than being at war with others around you, set yourself to fight and conquer your own tendency to anger. God has given us the means to do this in Christ.

April 22: Romans 15:5-7

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,  that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.


Something that is so wonderful about scripture is that it is always the same, yet we change. As we grow and as we get older and as our situations change, we suddenly see so many more levels of the old familiar passages. This selection comes in a section of Romans in which Paul is talking about bearing with one another, specifically the weaker brothers. He talks about how we should be trying to build each other up, and not because it is fun for us, but because we are prioritizing each other. But the thing that really jumped out at me about this passage was that apparently the things that we need to do this are encouragement and endurance. 
This really made me laugh because it is just so perfect. Isn’t it true that sometimes we bend for a weaker brother – we prioritize something for their sake, and feel like it costs us. But then – nothing happens! They don’t suddenly see it our way. They don’t suddenly realize what an imposition they are in our lives! They just act like they are right! In this context, endurance makes a lot of sense. But so does encouragement. Because when we are trying to build each other up sometimes we are not seeing the results right away. Sometimes you feel like someone just takes your effort and stuffs it into their little bottomless pit.

So here we have this great news that it is our God that is the source of endurance, not our weaker brother’s progress. It is our God who encourages us, not necessarily the results we see in others.
One other thing that I think is especially important about this verse is the very last bit, after the comma. For the glory of God. The super important thing that we absolutely must see is that when we sacrifice ourselves for others, we do it for God’s glory. When the object of our sacrifice grows, or changes, or is built up – it is the work of God. It is so easy to say “Lord, use me here.” Because what we often mean is, “Let me be a vehicle of your love so that I can be the savior here.” The reality is that when we pray, “Lord, use me.” We should mean, “Lord, use me for your glory. Not so that I might be radiant, but so that You will be seen.”
This is an important distinction in all the places that we might be sacrificing ourselves. Bearing with our little children, taking in foster children, reaching out to Meth addicts, dealing with that one fussy bosser woman on the PTA. Dealing with a neighbor, submitting to your husband, picking up someone else’s mess, feeding people who don’t offer to help with the dishes, loving people, having people over whose children make enormous messes that they don’t clean up. We have endless opportunities to bear with each other – not so the other person will see they are wrong, and not so that we will be seen as patient,  but so that God will be glorified. Just remember that He is the God of all endurance and all encouragement.

April 19: Self-governed

(Continuing with highlights from The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit, by Matthew Henry.)

“The design of Christ and of his holy religion is to shape men into a mild and merciful temper, and to make them sensibly tender of the lives and comforts even of their worst enemies”

If this is true, that God wants us to be kind and loving to our enemies (which He does), then how much more does He want us to be kind and loving to our own children? It seems like much of a mother’s provocation comes not from her enemies or neighbors, but from the little fat faces running amok in her home.

“But while you are governing others, learn to govern yourselves, and do not disorder your own souls under the pretense of keeping order in your families.”

That about sums it up. How in the world do we expect to teach our children to be meek and quiet as they obey us, if we are not being meek and quiet as we are “governing” them? It makes much more sense to get ourselves under control first. Then we are fit to teach and guide them.

A mother who is firing out commands to her children, bossing them within an inch of their lives, has a disordered soul. Her kids may march into church in a nice line, but it is a pretense. How much better to keep our hearts in line!

We’ve all seen the mom screaming at her kids in the store, right? Who is it that needs to be taken out to the car for a spank? It’s not the kid. And the mom is so much older and “wiser” and bigger. How could she let a little person move her to such wrath? It makes no sense. We must learn to govern our own souls.

Meekness teaches us to hold our tongue until we have something profitable to say. Henry says, “If the heart be angry, angry words will but inflame it the more…When the spirits are in a ferment, though it may be some present pain to check and suppress them, and the headstrong passions hardly admit the bridle, yet afterward it will be no grief of heart to us.”

Meekness means humility toward our children, considering their frames, and knowing our own hearts. If you make a list of rules or chores for the kids, and you hang it on the fridge, be sure to make another one for yourself. Keep your cool. Don’t be tyrannical. Don’t be angry or agitated or annoyed or provoked. Let meekness and quietness rule your heart and mind.

April 18: The Yoke of Christ

(More from Henry’s book on Meekness.)

As in all things, Christ is our instructor in meekness. He said, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

Meekness is a heart at rest. It is not striving, it is not envious or short-tempered. A heart that is content in God can navigate wisely through life’s many provocations, including the ones around the dinner table.

If we want to imitate Christ and His meekness, we must put on His yoke. We can’t learn from Him unless we have put it on. What is His yoke? It is submission to His Word. His yoke guides us, protects us, teaches us, leads us, and keeps us. We should not trust ourselves, but be directed by God’s Word. When we ignore His Word, or think it applies to someone else, we are slipping out of the yoke of Christ. That is always a bad idea.

Take His yoke and follow His lead. This requires humility and faith, and you can’t have meekness without those two things. We let go of our own ego, and we put on Christ. We let go of the sin and follow Him in forgiveness. We believe His promises and keep our eyes on Him. This is what it means to put on His yoke, and it will necessarily cultivate meekness and quietness in our souls when we realize He is in complete control of all the circumstances, big and little, day in and day out.

Is your house ahead of you and your jogging as fast as you can to catch up? Are you provoked? Are the kids in one of those jags where everyone is fussing at each other? Are you being provoked? Let your anger drop. Keep possession of your soul! Fix your eyes on Jesus, and trust Him to bring quiet to your heart in unquiet times.