Nancy Wilson's Blog, page 52

The Winsomeness of Twinsomeness

These two little hooligans are going to give the birds a real run for their money this cherry season. Or they would be if the cherries were actually ripe and the birds were interested. But we are just honing our cherry picking skills. Practicing spitting pits, climbing ladders, and other very important backyard business. Balancing on a lawn chair in the wagon is tough, and you've got to practice. Turns out the cherries don't need to be ripe for any of that!

If I was an indulgent mother, my children would be amidst the cherry tree all day long, dawn until dusk, eating unripe cherries. Blaire cruises the ground level, and snags their cast offs and chews on those. Perfect. But I am not an indulgent mother, so we are only putting in half to three- quarter time in the cherry tree.

A Word for Mothers

I'm a little late getting this link up for you to Rachel's latest post on mothering over at Desiring God's blog. It's another wonderful and nourishing word for hungry moms. (And my excuse for being late is that Doug and I have been traveling today and just reached Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where we'll be this weekend.)

One more thing….

I loved Mom's post about the sociological events, and just felt compelled to add my little two bits. When things like this happen, there are a few things that growing up in the home of a faithful pastor taught me.

First of all, don't get involved if you are neither part of the problem or part of the solution. Long distance judgments never profit anyone. Sometimes you might feel like you are involved, but the truth is that someone has just shared a grievance with you. Accusations and serious sounding things do not a full story make.

This brings me to the second thing. Pastors are very uniquely vulnerable to assaults like this, because (especially when they are respectable men), they cannot fight back in the same way. Someone can gallop around the Internet accusing a pastor of being rude and selfish and generally nasty. The pastor is not at liberty to stand up and say, "FYI folks: Bill is the guy who has been in counseling for six months because of his problems with porn and petty theft, and he is just angry because I turned down his offer of co-pastoring with me." But if you had been going to coffee with Bill to talk about his concerns, and sympathizing with them, you would (or should) feel foolish if you knew the whole story. Proverbs speaks to the point (18:17) "The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him."

Sometimes, pastoring is an uphill battle that ends in fiery accusations. After three years of midnight phone calls to say, "Pastor! I am thinking of huffing glue! What do you think I should do!?!?!" And three years of, "Don't do it! It never works out!" finally comes the call "Huffed glue! Now I am in prison! It's all your fault, I can't wait to tell everyone! They'll be shocked!"

So just remember that if you are not actually the person appointed to wade through all the mess and sort it out (and you aren't), you are not at the security clearance level to hear the pastor's side. So be gracious, and be judicious, and don't get your skivvies in a knot. And if it is on your mind, turn it into a prayer that the wronged would be righted, and that God would be honored.

Sociological Events

From time to time a well-known Christian leader either steps down or is removed from office because of some flagrant immorality or some other scandalous sin. But other times, as in the case of John Piper last year, a minister takes a leave of absence for a time to sort things out, either personal things or ministry things. It is a leave of absence, not a resignation. It is a time-out to rethink how everyone is doing, off camera. For someone with an internationally known ministry, I can easily imagine that this could be a tremendous help. A minister of a small to mid-size church might be able to take a week off and regroup; but when you are the head of a huge ministry, things go public in a big way. It just comes with the territory.

Recently, C.J. Mahaney has stepped down from his position as head of Sovereign Grace Ministries in order to sort out some misunderstandings, headbonks, and whatnot. I am not going to address the particulars here, because, frankly, I don't know what they are, and that's not my point in writing.

A strange thing happens when a minister comes under fire. All the discontents from the past ten or twenty years form an immediate alliance, and they are the most unlikely bedfellows. It may be Joe Schmoe who left the church five years ago because he didn't like the singing who teams up with the local atheist God-hater. They become bosom buddies united in the same cause of firing up a website with two hundred pages of "charges." (We can guess how reliable this source of information is.) This is what my husband has named the "Fellowship of the Grievance." Old grievances come out from under the rocks to "Kumbaya" together around the campfire.

When the minister says there is some truth to the charges, as Mahaney did, you would think this would cause all good-hearted critics to be encouraged and pray for a swift and godly resolution. But if the critics begin to circle round like hungry sharks when there's blood in the water, then observers are right to be suspicious. Jesus knew what it was like to have a surly crowd stirred up.

The second thing that often happens is that old friends sometimes take cover until the smoke clears. A little adversity can reveal how thin the loyalty really was. They back away and play it safe to see how things will turn out. They do not want to go to his defense because they want to see who wins. After the smoke blows over, they may want to be chummy again. This does not mean they are wicked; but they are weak. You can't hold it against them. But you see what they are made of. Jesus had friends like that.

And then there are the unexpected friends who turn up in the most unlikely places, who say, "We're praying for you brother. We know what this is all about." This may be the car mechanic or the guy you barely know from another congregation. And of course there are the true-blue friends who prove to be staunch through thick and thin. Jesus had a friend who stayed with him at the Cross.

My prayer for this minister and his family is that they will ride this thing out, bumpy as it may be. My husband calls these collisions within churches and ministries "sociological events." As long as we have churches with people in them, we will have this kind of thing. And when a minister is willing to step down to sort things out, some bystanders will chuck some rocks rather than wait for a judicial and judicious outcome.

Jesus has a few words for times like these: "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in heaven…" (Matthew 5:11-12).

Journal Keeping, Part 2

Christians of all people should love words. God created language and speaks to us on the pages of Scripture. Jesus is the Word and spoke all things into existence. The Bible is overflowing with teaching (using words) on many subjects, including how we should use our words. Proverbs alone has plenty of discussion on the trajectory of words.

Journal-keeping can be a positive way to use words if the journal-keeper is wise. I think I learned this from my son: writing is a little like cooking. Don't overcook it. Don't serve it raw. Add the right seasonings. Make it beautiful to behold. And hope your readers enjoy your cooking. Words are not neutral or unimportant to God. He hears, He reads, even our thoughts. He sees and reads our writing. Does it please Him?

Consider this handful of Proverbs that teach us the benefits of a wise tongue: "The mouth of the righteous is a well of life" (Prov. 10:11); "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver" (Prov. 10:20); "The lips of the righteous feed many" (Prov. 10:21); "The lips of knowledge are a precious jewel" (Prov. 20:15); "A word spoken in due season, how good it is!" (Prov. 15:23); "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge" (Prov. 15:7). A good journal is nourishing to the reader and the writer. [image error]

As you may have guessed, many of those quotations above are just half of the proverb. I haven't done a count, but I am guessing there are more Proverbs dealing with the negative nature of the tongue. Here are a few to prove my point: "The mouth of a fool is near destruction" (Prov. 10:14); "The mouth of fools feeds on foolishness" (Prov. 15:14); "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise" (Prov. 10:19); "He who opens wide his lips shall have destruction" (Prov. 13:3). Careless words, written and spoken, are destructive. Loose lips sink ships.

And we haven't even looked at the New Testament yet. Women in particular are singled out with a warning in 1 Timothy 5:13: "And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not." Foolish writing is a type of wandering and idleness. Many a journal entry ought not to have been written.

I'm not going to do an exhaustive Bible study here. I'm simply saying that we should and must guard our tongues in all things spoken and written: "He who guards his mouth preserves his life" (Prov. 13:3). Psalm141:3: "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips." Our pens need watchmen and guards just like our mouths. And the fact that a journal is "private"does not mean the words can be left unguarded.

The Scriptures do not take words lightly, nor should we. Thomas Brooks said, " Light words weigh heavy in God's balance."

James calls the tongue "an unruly evil, full of deadly poison" (3:8). Paul warns against "foolish talking" (Eph. 5:4) and writes that we are to speak to one another in "psalms and hymns and spiritual songs….giving thanks always for all things…" (5:19-20). In Philippians he tells us to meditate on the pure, lovely, good, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8). In Colossians he wraps up a passage on Christian living with this: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom….And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" (Col. 3:17). Whatever we do with words should be done in Jesus name, Amen.

Words are something we use every day, and if we take all the warnings of Scripture to heart, we will be very cautious people when it comes to handling words. When we write or speak, we should be thinking about whether our words are pleasing to the Lord Jesus. Do they show gratitude to God the Father? Are they wise, virtuous, praiseworthy? If we think about this seriously, we will write fewer words.

We all stumble in many ways, says James. And we all stumble with our words in many ways. So we should pay attention. Listen to your words whether they are spoken or written, whether they are via texting or emailing or blogging or journaling. We are accountable for every single word we speak and write.

We live in immodest times and women lack propriety and discretion. Careless writing can be a form of exhibitionism. Let's use journal-writing as a regular practice session for modesty, discretion, and wisdom. When you sit down to write, pray for wisdom. Ask for an armed guard.

Our of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. What we write in our journals comes straight out of our hearts. Is it good? If it isn't, then we need to get our hearts cleansed first. Then fill up your journal with words. Funny words. Enjoyable words. Stories. Poems. Jokes. Bible verses. Quotes from other writers. Things we've learned in sermons. Things we've learned from friends and family.

Life is short. Write good words.