Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 127

The Trade Expert

Alltop loves backslash fiction.

Another Day in Paradise

"Dude!"

"Coko!"

"Dude!"

"Coko!"

"Dude!"

[sound of engine being gunned, squeal of tires ... then the screams:]

Alltop also has opposable thumbs. Photo via Twisted Vintage.

Round Here, Ax, Cat Epoxy

Some claimed it was the lack of fresh fruit and vegetables for ten years straight, while others felt it must have had something to do with the water.

Others know that there would never be an explanation for the horrors of that day, and I for one would never try to disabuse them of this fact.

But let me just say, while out of ax-shot, cousins should not marry.

Alltop is into nepotism. Photo via Tigęrr Risin-Ẃińgs.

Now That's Cooking

Cynthia had never mastered all of the culinary arts, despite her self-styled title of "Sauciest Chef in the West."

Her ragouts were a disaster and her inability to get a souffle to rise was legendary.

Fortunately, she could get other things to rise.

Alltop is sitting in its own funny sauce. Photo via Twisted Vintage.

Taking It To the Limit

Verndor Flemchuckler, a trained flautist and Norwegian organist of some repute, lost his mind on December 14, 1911 (ironically, the very same day his countryman and Emily Chesley reached the South Pole).

The result of this unfortunate loss of mental faculty was the Pegstrame-insterfligen-burbjor (for which there is no translation as it is gibberish in both English and Norwegian).

Apparently, it was intended to make music of some kind, but all it did was cause its listeners to either...

Jim Icarus

Jim was really fun at parties.

He told great stories, especially about life on the road as an itinerant tent pole.

On the other hand, you really didn't want to go hunting with him.

Alltop loves a good tent pole story. Photo via Tigęrr Risin-Ẃińgs.

Self Awarness Infographic

My only critique of this one is that one region of the brain is not large enough, and another region is too large, plus there is no region devoted to the impact of peyote milkshakes. I will let you discuss in the comments.

Alltop is mostly about the cross-sectional funny. self awareness, originally uploaded by lunchbreath.

Acid Re-flax

[image error]Apart from all the facial scarring, Miss Ethnic Cleanser was a beautiful lady.

She certainly had a decent chance at winning the All-Bag Beauty Pageant, sponsored this year by Intolerancie MGB.

Though the bookies were also giving Miss Glasgow (girlfriend to a noted chib artist) and Miss Honor Killings (a "hot" adulterer from Mumbai) pretty good odds.

AlltopTwisted Vintage.

Come on Baby, Do the Locomotion

Capable of doing zero-to-sixty in less than ten seconds, the Flannigan Repto-Buggy was a big seller right after President Rutherford B. Hayes started building the Great Chicken Highway.

Thousands of tender birds were released on the roads every day, giving the Repto-Buggy the fuel and encouragement it needed to help fuel the Gilded Age.
This period came to a tragic end, during the Poultry Depression of the early 1890s, and several ensuing lawsuits after many of the Repto-Buggy owners were...

Hello, My Name Is Indigo Montoya

Billy was up to three packs a day, but it was okay; he was in training for the All-Tar Olympics. His coach said he was a natural, and he had several lucrative endorsements even before he won any medals. He might have been worried about the nagging cough, the chunks of ochre phlegm he horked up after every set of smokes, but Billy was sanguine.

His twin brother, Jimmy, had a perfectly fine set of lungs just waiting to be cut out of his useless chest.

Alltop smokes stogies. Photo via Twisted...