O.M. Grey's Blog, page 20
September 19, 2012
Courage, Integrity, and After-Care Respect
September 17, 2012
Avalon Revisited (Podcast) – Chapter 21 & 22
September 12, 2012
The Survivor Thread
September 11, 2012
Steampunk Spotlight: A Steampunk’s Guide to Sex
September 10, 2012
Avalon Revisited (Podcast) – Chapter 19 & 20
September 9, 2012
iTunes Podcast Fixed
A few days ago, a new listener brought something very important to my attention: iTunes was only showing the last 10 episodes of the Rowan of the Wood podcast [via Christine Rose]. Further research showed me at all 4 of my podcasts were only showing that last 10!
Not okay!
So, thanks to the great and speedy help of podcasting guru Tee Morris, I got that fixed. All four of my podcasts (Rowan of the Wood fiction podcast [as Christine Rose], Publishing & Marketing Realities podcast [as Christine Rose], Avalon Revisited fiction podcast , and the Alternative Relationship podcast) should now be showing all episodes. Please contact me if they’re not.
Look for Avalon Revisited podcast Chapter 19 tomorrow!
Peace.
-_Q
Edit: I just got a message from a subscriber that told me by doing this fix he was flooded with 150 blog posts as a subscriber. My deepest apologies to subscribers via email who now have 150 posts in their inbox. I had no idea that would happen.
RSS subscribers hopefully didn’t have such a deluge all at once.
Again, my apologies!
Filed under: News & Reviews Tagged: author, avalon, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, paranormal romance, podcast, podcasts, polyamory, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, tee morris
September 7, 2012
Lowest Common Denominator
And I mean *lowest* — in every sense of the word.
Victim blamers talk about the type of person, what they were wearing, where they were walking, what they were or weren’t doing, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum…
Truth is, there are many, many variables concerning rape victims, but they do all have one thing in common:
Being in the same room as a rapist.
Period.
Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: austin poly rapist, author, bdsm, fear, grief, healing, heartbroken, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, rape, rape culture, rape survivor, rapist, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, sexual assault, shattered
September 1, 2012
Burning Strong
I’ve healed more in the past week than I have in the past two months. Being here with my community is powerful. Friends and strangers alike have my back, and it’s such a refreshing change!
Not to mention conducive to healing.
Plus, volunteering with B.E.D. (Bureau of Erotic Discourse) has been wonderful! I’ve met even more supporters and survivors, alike! I assisted during one of their workshops, and I’m looking forward to facilitating them at regional burn events as well as when I travel & speak to sex-positive communities around the country & in Europe.
I’ve made some great connections with poly activists on both coasts, and they agree about the need for the conversation about predators infiltrating sex-positive communities and what to do (& how to recognize & prevent) sexual assault. I’ve also connected with burners and poly people in Europe to do the same.
It’s been amazing!!
Soon, I’ll be traveling the country telling my story and educating, and thereby protecting, communities about sexual assault, deepening true intimacy, and improving communication between partners.
I can wait.
I feel so alive and empowered! It’s do good to be back.
Peace.
Filed under: Lost in the Aether Tagged: burning man, olivia grey, omgrey, rape survivor
August 31, 2012
Beautiful Days
Reminder: the monsters don’t always look like monsters.
In fact, most of the time, they look like someone we know, someone we love.
Please, please remember that.
The following was written by Tiffany Holder.
-_Q
(Trigger Warning)
Woman: I love beautiful days. Not just pretty days. Days that life just seems to sing to you. When was the last time you remember a day like that?
While I am sure that I have had many of these life-singing days over the years, only one really comes back to life in my mind. June 13th, 2005.
Why? Because that would be the day that would change my life forever. It changed the way I felt about everything. It changed my perspective on life and love.
Why is this day so altering? Let me set the stage for you.
(beginning to dream to herself)
My husband and I were college students. We actually had met at college 4 years before. I was a single mother of two wonderful little girls. He was a wonderful man. My sister and her husband, who were skeptics of everyone, labeled him ‘the nicest guy in the world’. Everyone loved him. We got married and began our lives together. Life was beautiful.
About 2 and a half years later, in March of 2004, a doctor told us that he could not have children. We decided that someday we would try, but for now we were content. I was in my 3rd year of college, and that summer I was going to Greece to work for the Olympics.
Well, the day before Father’s Day, we found out that I was pregnant. God had given us a child, without us even asking. I don’t recall it very well, but that was a beautiful day.
Another beautiful day was August 30th, 2004. The day I came home from Greece. I had been away from my daughters and husband for almost a month. My little family was waiting for me at the gate. We all cried as the hugs went around. That was a beautiful day.
My littlest daughter was born on February 8th, 2005. It was just my husband and I at the hospital to welcome our baby into the world. She was lovely, as was that day.
But these are not the beautiful days that I remember the most. There is only one that comes to life in my memory. One that I actually, physically relive every time I remember it.
June 13th, 2005.
I woke up that morning to a warm ray of sunshine pouring into my room and my loving husband telling me good-bye. He always kissed me before he left for work. We loved each other so much.
It was summer and our little duplex was settled on a hill. I loved to open the windows of the house and let the breeze sweep the air clean. That morning, my house was actually clean.
My father-in-law had been staying with us due to some marital problems and he was doing all the house work. Like I said, it was a beautiful day!
The girls and I got up and ate breakfast. My mom and I had been talking on the phone about our living situation. We had three daughters and two bedrooms. My father-in-law had been sleeping on the couch. There isn’t a whole lot of privacy in that situation. Also, something was weighing on our minds. Now, no one really wants to think of this, but, you know, it’s important. So my mother suggested that I have a reminder talk with the girls. You know. That talk that you really don’t want to have. As parents, we want our children to feel safe, especially in their own homes. We don’t want to tell them that there are people out there who can and will hurt you on purpose. We want them to grow up free from those thoughts. We want to be free from those thoughts. We want to think that we can protect our children from the bad people in the world. The people who are sick. The people who don’t have self-control or boundaries or whatever it is that keeps us normal people from doing horrible things. But what if the bad people aren’t ‘out-there’? What if they are lurking in our homes?
What do we do if they are lying in our beds? What if they are in our heads?
So into the bedroom we went; my 3 daughters: 8, 7 and 4 months, and myself.
After about an hour, I emerged from my room, alone. The only sounds coming from the other side of the door were the television and a small click from the door being locked. The day was no longer beautiful.
I went to the phone and called my husband home from work. He said that his lunch started in a half hour, and he would be home then. I knew what time his lunch started! He had worked the same job for three years and always had lunch at noon, but this could not wait. You need to come home now! With that I hung up the phone and went to the basement garage.
The five minutes of waiting lasted an hour. I didn’t know what to say, how to tell him. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I wanted to fix things, but they were broken. I wanted to stay, but I had to leave. I had decisions to make, but no choices. Roads to go down, but no ground beneath me. How do you take a first step with nothing under you? You just fall. I was falling, but in slow motion. The world could not have moved slower if it were going backwards. Then he walked in. A look of terror filled his eyes.
My heart could be heard down the street. Then I began to speak.
I was calm. I might as well have been sharing local gossip. But there was something about my voice. Have you ever heard someone speak in a tone that sent chills through you? One that let you know that you would die a horrible death if you did not give the person breathing those words what they wanted?
As he was kneeling on the floor, I never felt more in control; of myself, my life, my world, his world. I held his life in my hands. What would I do? I became a killer. I took his life, the way that he took my daughters’. Not that very day, but I did take it.
June 15th, 2005. My husband lost his life. He died, in my mind.
The conversation behind the door that day? It went something like this:
“Girls, you know that no one is allowed to touch your body, right? Now, I know that we have talked about this before, but I want you to understand that you can always tell Mommy.”
With that ‘8’ covered her head. I continued.
“I know what it is like. Someone touched me when I was little and it made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was bad. I felt guilty and embarrassed.
But it wasn’t my fault. And if someone does that to you, it isn’t your fault either.”
Then, from under the covers, a tiny voice came from ‘8’. Momma, Daddy did that to me. As she began to cry and tell me everything her little heart had been carrying, I didn’t breathe. My beautiful day was broken. And I could not fix it.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: author, broken heart, children, daddy, family, father, fear, grief, guest post, healing, heartbroken, love, molestation, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, rape, sexual assault, tiffany holder
August 30, 2012
Kisses on the Playa
Although it will still be quite some time before I’m riding anything other than a funky art car, such is the sex life of a rape survivor, Burning Man has been very healing. I’ve had unending support from a *real* community. Even the police in NV are more supportive.
Yesterday I kissed a gorgeous Englishman in a pretty blue dress carrying a matching parasol. Yummy, indeed!
I also had a date with a handsome German I met at B.E.D., and at the end, I gave him a teeny, tiny kiss.
But that’s as far as it will go, at least for now. And that’s okay.
It’s a beautiful, sexy step.
I’m free. I’m happy. I’m home, and I’m safe in BRC.
Peace.
Filed under: Lost in the Aether Tagged: olivia grey, omgrey, rape survivor, romance, sex. burning man
