O.M. Grey's Blog, page 19

O. M. Grey on GetLusty for Couples Podcast!

Podcast! O.M. Grey Talks Polyamory & Communication in Relationships

From the GetLusty for Couples blog:

As an active speaker, blogger, and author who got her start writing romance articles, O.M. Grey has a lot to say on polyamory and relationships.

As a poly-supporter who has engaged in non-monogamy with her husband for seven years, she was able to offer valuable insight into helping couples of every lifestyle preference build honesty, integrity, and good communication skills. Of course, we recorded the chat for your listening pleasure.

More on what we talked about: 

How did O.M. get her start writing about polyamory and relationships?
So what’s the difference for O.M. between polyamory and monogamy? For her, polyamory is much more practical – it’s unrealistic to expect that one person is going to fulfill you entirely forever, and it’s possible to feel deep love and devotion for more than one person at a time, she says.
O.M. believes polyamory is beneficial in the way that partners are able to express their attractions and feelings for others. Without secrets and deception, those involved don’t feel lied to or betrayed, and often, the betrayal hurts more than the actual act of cheating!
An avid believer that each relationship is unique, O.M. stresses that what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another – the key factors to making it work are communication, honesty, and integrity in any relationship.
So what if you find yourself or your partner being attracted to another person? As O.M. believes, it’s natural! The important thing is to talk about it honest and express fears openly, for both polyamorous  and monogamous relationships alike. This will help build intimacy and make you closer to your partner.
What does O.M. recommend to build good communication? Invest in your relationship(s) and make it as strong as possible, never try to protect your partner by deceiving them, and don’t use judgmental language, she says.
She suggests using “I” statements – saying “I felt hurt” rather than “You hurt me” sounds less accusatory and allows you to take ownership of your own feelings.
Engage in conversations about intimate topics in a safe space when both parties are feeling content and happy, rather than when you’re in a space of anger or fear.

Listen now!

Filed under: News & Reviews, Romance & Relationships Tagged: author, honesty, intimacy, love, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, passion, podcast, polyamory, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex

Short Fiction & Poetry (Podcast) – The Tragic Tale of Doctor Fausset

“The Tragic Tale of Doctor Fausset” is a Steampunk retelling of the fairy tale classic “Briar Rose” (aka “Sleeping Beauty”) with a little Doctor Faust thrown in for good measure. It debuted in Nevermet Press’s Stories in the Ether back in November 2011. It also appears in Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection and will be part of Robert Stikmanz’s 3000 weeks celebration.

“All I See is Your Absence,” “Oh Endless Night,” and “Look Into My Eyes” are the poems read this week. All appeared on this blog and the first two also appeared in Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection. “Look Into My Eyes” also appeared in SNM Horror Mag’s Dark Poetry section, August 2012.

Short Fiction Podcast: “The Tragic Tale of Doctor Fausset”

Download: SS_Poetry2.mp3

Most of these stories and poetry are taken from Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection. Buy your copy via Amazon or Barnes & Noble in paperback, or if you prefer eReaders, on the Kindle and Nook, and via Smashwords in various other eBook formats. Also available Author-Signed through the publisher.

-_Q

Avalon Revisited & Short Fiction Podcast

Subscribe in a reader …. or in iTunes

Filed under: Podcasted Fiction Tagged: 3000 weeks, all is see is your absence, arthur tudor, atwood, audiobook, author, avalon, avalon revisited, bdsm, bdsm erotica, bdsm erotica novel, bondage, book, briar rose, doctor faust, ecstasy, england, erotic, erotica, faust, henry VIII, hyde park, king henry VIII, london, look into my eyes, margaret atwood, masochism, nevermet press, o.m. grey, oh endless night, olivia grey, oryx and crake, paranormal romance, passion, podcast, podiobook, poet, poetry, rape, renaissance, robert stikmanz, sadism, sadist, sado-masochism, sex, short fiction, short story, sleeping beauty, snm horror, snm horror mag, soul rape, spring-heeled jack, steampunk, vampires, victorian, victorian brothel

Why I Do This.

These are some search terms people typed to find my blog that I see too too too often. Too often because it speaks to the huge number of people in pain out there.

This is why I write about my personal experiences publicly, not only to process and heal myself, but to give others the sense that they are not alone. When I see these search terms every. single. day. I know I’m not alone either.

Peace.

ptsd emotionally alone
how to tell if u have a sexual predator online
flashbacks of abuse
signs of a sexual predator
in depth emotional abuse
running away from the feeling of breakup issues
ptsd from an emotionally abusive relationship
ptsd and emotional abuse symptoms
ethics of infidelity
do manipulative men go quiet after a breakup
do commitment phobes ever come back
ecstatic dance austin bad
austin poly rapist
how to break the betrayal/trauma bond
commitment phobic men play the victim
ptsd sudden abusive irrational enraged woman
what narcissists look for in women they prey on
why men run away from love
impact of family abandonment
panic attack from mental abuse/emotional abuse
narcissism predators
outing the name of rapist
when men prey on emotionally hurt women
still love my emotional abuser
love bombing manipulation
i was raped and can’t tell anyone
rape survivor
emotional rape ptsd
the horrific aftermath narcissistic abuse

Also, some very disturbing ones…

how to become a predator for women
lots of really nice rapists
i know i emotionally abuse my kids

And that’s just a sampling.

So, yes, this is why I do this.

Filed under: Lost in the Aether Tagged: austin poly rapist, author, broken heart, commitmentphobe, commitmentphobia, emotional abuse, emotional predator, emotional rape, fear, grief, healing, heartbroken, honesty, love, manipulation, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, panic attack, polyamory, ptsd, rape, rape survivor, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, sexual predator, shattered, solidarity

Let the Sunshine In!

As I look out the window of my beautiful new home at the mountains and trees and lake surrounding me, I feel happy. I feel at peace. I feel hopeful. I feel excited about the future.

Indifference to the past grows with each passing moment. The pain is all but gone, leaving only a fading sense of sadness and regret. The tears come quite rarely now.

I’m still in rape counseling 3x a week, and that is going very well.

But enough about that.

There is so much to look forward to!! First, it is absolutely my favorite time of year, when the temperature starts to drop and the skies get gray and the rains come. This morning I had coffee on the terrace with my amazing husband, and we discussed plans for the future while watching the fog lift off the lake. There is no place I’d rather be than right here, right now.

So…my future…

Later this month, my husband and I will celebrate 12 years of glorious marriage in the magic that is Disneyland. It’s so good to be back in California.

In November, when I turn 43, it will mark the end of three years of hell, and my husband and I will celebrate that (and me) diving in the clear waters of Jamaica for a week. Then come the holidays, family, fun, and presents!

On the professional front, things are looking up as well. Over the past few weeks as I’ve been renovating and decorating my lovely new home, several ACCEPTED letters have landed in my inbox, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

My short story “Final Word” as well as my poem “New York Rain,” which debuted on Bar None Group (& is still in their Hall of Fame), will be published in an upcoming issue of The Rusty Nail. Details as to which issue soon. (Facebook. Twitter. YouTube.)
My short story “Dead Mule Crossing,” which debuted in the How the West Was Wicked anthology, will be published by eFiction’s eSteampunk. (Facebook)
“Love is for the Living,” never before published, will appear in a Siren’s Call Anthology called Bellows of the Bone Box: A Steampunk Anthology.
“Hannah & Gabriel,” a Steampunk retelling of “Hansel and Gretel” that first appeared in Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection , will be in the next issue of Jeremiah Griffin’s The Scroll.
“The Tragic Tale of Doctor Fausset,” a Steampunk mashup of “Briar Rose” (Sleeping Beauty) and “Doctor Faustus,” will be a part of Robert Stikmanz’s upcoming 3000 weeks of life celebration. This short story debuted in Nevermet Press’s Stories in the Ether.
My short story “Railroaded” and “Zeppelin Dreams” have been accepted for two separate anthologies, but details must remain secret until the contracts are in. Same goes for my short story “The Handy Man,” which will appear in a very exciting collection. I can’t wait to share the details of these three publications!
A piece I wrote on Polyamory will appear in the forthcoming A Steampunk Guide to Sex by Combustion Books.
And it looks like new breath will be breathed into Avalon Revisited! Again, too soon to reveal details, but truly great times for me and my work are just over the horizon.
Doctor Q, aka my own personal muse, and I have been conversing about the world-building of a BRAND NEW O. M. Grey novel, which I will be writing over the next few months. Yes, this is the one that was supposed to be written at the beginning of the years, for those of you who participated in last year’s Kickstarter, but, you know, life and other shit happens. But it’s going to be done now, complete with Arron Von Blackwolf and The SteamMage as a full character and cameo, respectively, thanks to their Kickstarter support.
My alter ego, Christine Rose, and her husband, Ethan Rose, have just put out their fourth book in the Rowan of the Wood fantasy series: Power of the Zephyr.


Very, very soon, expect a blog tour for Power of the Zephyr along with my The Zombies of Mesmer , and I know I keep saying this but the polyamory podcasts will return with likely a different format than before. This is in addition to the fiction podcasts every Monday on this blog, with short stories and The Zombies of Mesmer coming up, and every Tuesday on Christine’s blog, with the Rowan of the Wood fantasy series. Book Two: Witch on the Water starts next Tuesday.
Look for me in 2013 for a road tour across this country and Europe for talks on sex-positive culture, alternative relationships, and steamy fiction. If you’d like me to come to your poly/sex-positive group or your local bookstore, please drop me or my manager a line, as we’re scheduling for 2013 now!
And maybe, just maybe, I’ll start reading poetry and/or short stories on video. Whaddya think?

In the mean time, I’ll keep my other work out there until published, writing more and more fiction and blog posts, and keep my eyes and heart looking forward.

Thank you all for staying with me.

Peace.

-_Q

And a very happy birthday to my cousin today…

Filed under: Lost in the Aether, News & Reviews, Short Fiction & Poetry Tagged: author, avalon, avalon revisited, book, dead mule crossing, duotrope, efiction, esteampunk, final word, love, love is for the living, new york city, new york rain, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, paranormal romance, passion, podcast, poetry, polyamory, railroaded, relationship advice, relationships, romance, rusty nail, sex, short fiction market, short fiction markets, short story, sirens call, steampunk, the handy man, vampires, victorian, zeppelin dreams

Steampunk Spotlight: Eli August & The Abandoned Buildings

My talented friend and colleague, Eli August, is teaming up with The Abandoned Buildings for a new album, and they need your help. Similar to the popular Kickstarter fundraising program, Eli is raising funds through IndieGoGo, a fundraiser that will give whatever funds are raised to the artist, even if they don’t make their projected goal.

If you have never seen Eli August perform, you are truly missing out. He is one of my favorite Steampunk musicians, and I’ve had the great pleasure of hearing him perform both at The Steampunk World’s Fair and at Aetherfest.

A note from Eli, from their IndieGoGo campaign:

I have been playing and performing for going on eight years and I can say with all my heart that at this very moment I’m lucky enough to be in a group with some amazing musicians.  Everyone in the Abandoned Buildings brings something drastically different and nuanced to the musical table.

This album is important to me because it will symbolize the coming together of a group of people who may never have crossed paths if it were not for their love of music.  It’s doubly important, because we owe it to those like yourselves who listen, appreciate and add that fuel to our fire.

The perks available for donating to this fundraiser range from social media shout-outs to signed physical copies of this CD, as well as others, and ringtones…all the way to having a song written about you, private concerts, and choosing what facial hair the band wears for three months. That’s so much fun! Eli is well-known for his fuzzy mutton chops. Love it!

So GO DONATE NOW!

-_Q

Filed under: Steampunk Spotlight Tagged: aetherfest, author, eli august, fundraiser, fundraising, indiegogo, kickstarter, music, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, steampunk, steampunk worlds fair, the abandoned buildings, victorian

Short Fiction & Poetry (Podcast) – Of Æther and Æon

Now that I’ve completed Avalon Revisited on the fiction podcast, I’m going to spend a few weeks on short fiction and poetry before moving on to The Zombies of Mesmer, my young adult Steampunk romance.

“Of Æther and Æon” is the first short story I ever wrote as O. M. Grey. It debuted in Steampunk Adventures back in the Jun/Jul 2011 issue. It also appears in Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection and in Gearhearts Steampunk Glamour Revue, June 2012.

“You Belong in the Darkness with Me” and “If I Had Known…” are the poems read this week. Both appeared on this blog and in Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection. “If I Had Known…” also appeared in Long Story Short earlier this year.

Short Fiction Podcast: “Of Æther and Æon”

Download: SS_Poetry1.mp3

Most of these stories and poetry are taken from Caught in the Cogs: An Eclectic Collection. Buy your copy via Amazon or Barnes & Noble in paperback, or if you prefer eReaders, on the Kindle and Nook, and via Smashwords in various other eBook formats. Also available Author-Signed through the publisher.

Buy your copy of the award-winning, Amazon.com Gothic Romance bestseller Avalon Revisited via Amazon or Barnes & Noble in paperback, on the Kindle or Nook, or on Smashwords in various eBook formats.

Avalon Revisited is available Author-Signed through the publisher.

-_Q

Avalon Revisited & Short Fiction Podcast

Subscribe in a reader …. or in iTunes

Filed under: Podcasted Fiction Tagged: arthur tudor, audiobook, author, avalon, avalon revisited, bdsm, bdsm erotica, bdsm erotica novel, bondage, book, ecstasy, england, erotic, erotica, henry VIII, hyde park, if i had known, king henry VIII, london, masochism, o.m. grey, of aether and aeon, olivia grey, paranormal romance, passion, podcast, podiobook, poetry, renaissance, sadism, sadist, sado-masochism, sex, short fiction, short story, spring-heeled jack, steampunk, vampires, victorian, victorian brothel, you belong in the darkness with me

Positively Sex-Positive

Polyamory has become quite the catch-all term for any type of non-monogamy, ethical or, unfortunately, more often not. At least in my limited experience. Although, I’ve started to get involved in the San Francisco sex-positive scene, and I’m very hopeful from what I’ve seen and experienced so far that those unethical players giving polyamory a bad name is something relatively unique to my former community…and will soon be only a distant memory. I’ve been to an event at Mission Control, and it was awesome. Hoping to attend PINK next weekend and Kinky Salon shortly after that. I love it here. The consciousness and support and integrity and self-awareness, both on the individual and community level, is truly wonderful.

Sex-positive. Another trendy term, coined by Wilhelm Reich and more recently popularized by Dan Savage. I just looked that up on Wikipedia. No time or energy for more research than that. For the past two weeks, I’ve been busy renovating a beautiful house with panoramic lake views into an elegant home. My own little slice of heaven.

Additionally, several of my pieces, both short stories and poetry, are about to be published in various publications and anthologies, and I just had a great conversation with my agent about exciting things ahead. My future looks bright and successful and exciting. Fuck yeah.

Moving on.

There is a great discussion on Open.ly on what “sex-positive means to you.” The responses vary, but it all revolves around the concept that sex is beautiful and wonderful and natural, and that one should never feel ashamed of their sexuality or for enjoying sex.

Sounds lovely.

I was raised Catholic. Guilt and shame built in from a very early age. I remember reading a book called The Sensuous Woman back when I was 18. The year was 1987. The premise of the book was this:

You’re not a great beauty-supermodel, so you’ve got to learn mad-sexy-skills in order to keep a man.

Dangerous for a fairly sheltered 18-year-old woman who was coming to terms with her sexuality. At that time, the book confirmed that my sexuality was all that was worth anything to a man. If I couldn’t sexually please him, continuously, I was, in essence, worthless. And I’d be replaced. Quickly.

I believed the premise because thus far in my budding sexual life, that had already been supported by more than one man guy. So skills I learned. I sensually ate an ice cream cone, learning various fellatio techniques sure to drive a man wild. I took ballroom dance lessons so I could learn to follow a man’s every move. I did Kegel exercises, terrified that I would be tight enough. I used feminine deodorant because I was certain that I smelled bad “down there.” I did all the book suggested, until it came to the chapter that was not optional, according to the book:

Masturbation.

I was ashamed just reading the word. Horrified. I couldn’t do that, I mean…it was sinful, right? I couldn’t touch myself…but, finally, my dying belief in Christianity gave way to the importance of being able to “keep a man,” so I tried it. I used a running bath faucet so I wouldn’t actually have to touch myself, not that I thought it was gross or anything, but the guilt was magnified somehow if it was my own hand, and I couldn’t relax enough to make any headway. So, running water it was.

And that’s how I learned to have an orgasm. The book was right about that. It was rather glorious. Over the years, I’ve gone from being able to let go just enough to have one orgasm to being a multi-orgasmic squirter who can come to orgasm with as little as some nipple stimulation if I’m turned on enough. Sometimes, even whispering into my ear can make me come.

So…I’m all about sex-positivity. I love sex, and I worked very hard for at least a decade, studying Tantra and sacred sexuality and more, to get over the guilt and shame around my sexuality.

Or, at least, I did love sex. As a rape survivor now, I find it all rather disgusting. Just another lasting gift from my rapist. Thanks.

Still, here’s hoping that’s temporary.

But back to sex-positivity…Like I said, I’m all about sex-positivity, ideally. Just like I’m all about polyamory, ideally. But what I’ve seen in practice is taking these beautiful concepts and, as in so many things when selfish, irresponsible people get involved, bastardizing it.

Sex-positivity isn’t a sexual free-for-all, sticking your cock into anything that moves, or sticking anything even remotely phallic-shaped, human, animal, or inanimate, into various orifices with anyone, anywhere, anytime, without integrity or responsibility for one’s own actions as well as responsibility to your partners.

I spoke with a friend the other day who has some friends who claim to be “polyamorous” and “sex-positive,” and all they talk about is sex. All they try to do is get my friend and their spouse to join them in an orgy. Again. And again. And again. No matter how many times my friend says that they’re not interested, this “sex-positive, polyamorous” couple keeps pressuring them to join them in an orgy. And, furthermore, the “sex-positive, polyamorous” couple claims that because my friend and their spouse doesn’t want to fuck them in this orgy, they want to continue their friendship as it’s been, that my friend and their spouse are not “sex-positive.”

What-the-fuck-ever.

Honestly?

Unfortunately, my perception of “sex-positivity” my former community was validated yesterday by a dear friend of mine back in Austin. They said that they noticed a certain “pathological aspect” to a local “sex-positive” community. They said that their perception of “sex-positivity” in this facet of community was “something like a nine-year-old’s notion of freedom of choice when left unsupervised overnight in candy store.”

Beautifully and quite accurately put.

I noticed the very same feeling in other facets of that “sex-positive” community, a certain lack of responsibility and integrity all while spouting fancy words and trendy ideas about responsibility and integrity. There is a very big difference between responsible and ethical sex-positivity/healthy sexual freedom and a hedonistic free-for-all, no matter who is hurt as long as you get off. As I’ve briefly mentioned, I’ve either experienced directly or heard stories about people who fuck animals, justify incest, hide STDs, and excuse rape, all under the umbrella of “radical inclusion” and “sex-positivity.”

One of my biggest problems with some sex-positive communities is there absolute refusal to address sexual assault and rape. To even discuss it.

Um. Hello?

It is VERY SEX POSITIVE to raise awareness about sexual assault and how to avoid suffering it and inadvertently committing it. A truly sex positive friend of mine says that “sex critical” is very “sex positive,” and I agree with her. She’s also a survivor. Have I mentioned just how many I’ve met? Virtually every. single. woman., and quite a few men, have told me they are also survivors. It is an issue. It needs to be addressed. And it is *very* sex-positive to do so.

Sex is fun and wonderful and glorious, and it is nothing to be ashamed of…when it’s SAFE. Being present with your lover is sex-positive. Knowing when they check out or are triggered or can’t react because of being frozen in shock or fear is sex-positive. Learning to be a more caring, compassionate lover is sex-positive. Learning to care for the entire person and not just use their body as an ejaculatory tool is sex-positive. Taking responsibility for your actions and to the relationship, no matter how casual or serious, no matter how short-lived or how long-lived, is sex-positive.

Be sex-positive and don’t steal someone else’s sexuality by violating their boundaries, even inadvertently. And if you do, own it. Fix it. Apologize for it. Through your responsibility and compassion, you will help your LOVER heal, your community will respect you more, and you will grow as a loving, sex-positive human being.

***SERIOUSLY*** just an ounce of human kindness, compassion, and an apology goes so very far…

Fortunately…as I said above, I have high hopes for the San Francisco community from the little I’ve already seen and experienced. I’ve been warned that there are less-responsible facets when it comes to “unwanted touching,” i.e. sexual assault, and personal as well as faceted-community responsibility around such things, both sexually and emotionally, but I’m hopeful because the community as a whole is aware of such things and openly discusses it.

As for me, I think actually having sex is still in the distant future for me, even with my husband. But when I open my legs again, I will be ready to open my heart, too. They go together. Although some of the “mad-skills” I learned 24 years ago might be a bit rusty, I’m still a considerate lover. I’m a skilled lover. A giving lover. A compassionate lover. A highly passionate lover. When I’m with a man, he feels as if there is no one more beautiful or sexier on the face of the planet. I worship and adore him, all of him, and he will reciprocate in kind.

Because, if he wants (and can handle) my pussy and my multiple, wet orgasms, then he will also respect and care for my heart, my mind, and my soul with compassion and integrity.

We’re a package deal.

I’m worth so much more than my pussy.

I am a true goddess on all levels of being, and only a true god would recognize and respect that, and treat me accordingly.

That’s sex-positive.

Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: after-care, aftercare, atx, austin burner community, austin ecstatic dance, austin poly community, austin poly rapist, austin polyamory, author, bdsm, breakup, broken heart, burning flipside, compassion, courage, dan savage, flipizen, flipside, healing, heartbreak, heartbroken, hedonism, honesty, integrity, intimacy, love, masturbation, mission control, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, orgasm, passion, pink, polyamory, rape, rape survivor, relationship advice, relationships, respect, romance, San Francisco, sex, sex positive, sex positivity, sexual assault

Still

How did it come to this, my love?

How did it come to this?

I’m still waiting on this bridge

Watching it burn under my feet

Still waiting for you to remember

Still waiting for you to see

Still waiting for you to apologize

Still waiting for you and me

Just call me, my love

Don’t let me hang up

Just text me, my sweet

Don’t let me ignore

Just approach me, my song

Never let me turn away

Never let me again

Hold me still.

Stand before me

With courage and fear

Look into my eyes again

Until I quiver and cry

Don’t move or leave

Just stand still.

Just say, I’m sorry.

Just say, it’s okay.

Just say, I love you

Still.

Stand strong.

Stand still.

Hold me still

Me and my gaze

Until I scream and yell at you

Until I roar and beat your chest

Until I spit and rip and fight

Until I collapse and stand again

Still

Don’t move

Don’t leave me again.

Just say, I’m sorry.

Just say, it’s okay.

Just say, I love you.

Still.

Stand strong.

Stand still.

Care for me and my heart

Care for us this time

Touch my cheek and my soul again

Touch your lips to my ear

Then whisper,

Still.

Then watch.

Watch me soften.

Watch me smile.

Watch my eyes dry

Watch them fill with love,

The love that’s behind them

Still.

Feel my body relax

Beneath your touch

Feel

My lips touch yours again

Feel

My tears dry on your cheek

Feel

My sigh slip into your mouth

Hear me say

I love you

Still

I’ve never stopped.

Stand strong.

Stand still.

Then take me off this burning bridge

Then lay me down near water,

Then join with me both heart and soul

Then take me back up to heaven

Then still

Still

Still

Still

Eyes to eyes

Lips to lips

In that moment

With me

Still

Just call me, my love

And don’t let me hang up

Hold me still.

Don’t give up on us

And neither will I.

Don’t give up on us

And neither will I

Don’t give up on us

And neither will I.

Don’t give up on us

And neither will I

Hold me still.

How did it come to this, my love?

How did it come to this?

Still I wait

Still I dream

Still I fool myself

All while the flames lick

Up my thighs

Where I feel your touch

Still

Where I see your eyes

Still

Where I wait for you

Still

Yes, still

Despite it all

I love you

Still

Filed under: Short Fiction & Poetry Tagged: austin burner community, austin ecstatic dance, austin poly community, austin poly rapist, austin polyamory, author, bdsm, bureau of erotic discourse, burning flipside, fear, flipizen, grief, healing, heartbroken, honesty, love, love poetry, men can stop rape, misogyny, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, poem, poetry, polyamory, rape, rape survivor, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, shattered, trauma bond

We Can Stop It!

Brilliant!

Scotland recently started a new sexual assault/rape awareness campaign called “We Can Stop It.” It’s similar to the stateside campaign “Men Can Stop Rape.”

Both are utterly brilliant.

Finally, information based around “Don’t Rape” rather than “Don’t Get Raped.”

This is where it needs to be.

The site has a wonderful “Did you know?” section that talks about statistics of rape as well as clearing up many misconceptions, ending with “No matter what the circumstances are, sex without consent is rape. We can stop it.”

Even better, their “What can you do?” section talks about things each and ever person, especially men, can do to stop rape. #1 is take responsibility.

Damn. straight.

#2 Respect your sexual partner. Which, seems like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised. Or, maybe you wouldn’t. As the site says, “both partners should agree to it and be happy with it.” Which means if she’s crying her eyes out, not happy about it. If she’s frozen in fear, not happy about it.

I won’t go down the entire list, please go read it for yourself, but these are tips WE ALL can do, regardless of gender. Please take special note to #6: Be Supportive. That means not to shun, question the validity of, or victim-blame the wo/man who’s come forward, like my former community did. Like some of my former friends did.

Don’t be friends with rapists. Call them out. Hold them accountable.

It’s up to us. WE CAN STOP IT.

Learn what The R Word truly means and talk about it.

“Rape is a difficult subject to talk about but it’s only through raising awareness that attitudes will change.”

Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: austin burner community, austin ecstatic dance, austin poly community, austin poly rapist, austin polyamory, author, bdsm, bureau of erotic discourse, burning flipside, don't rape, england, fear, flipizen, grief, healing, heartbroken, honesty, love, men can stop rape, misogyny, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, rape, rape survivor, relationship advice, relationships, romance, scotland, sex, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, shattered, we can stop it

Avalon Revisited (Podcast) – Chapter 23 & 24

Arthur Tudor has made his existence as a vampire bearable for over three hundred years by immersing himself in blood and debauchery. Aboard an airship gala, he meets Avalon, an aspiring vampire slayer who sparks fire into Arthur’s shriveled heart. Together they try to solve the mystery of several horrendous murders on the dark streets of London. Cultures clash and pressures rise in this sexy Steampunk Romance.

Contains Adult Content.

Avalon Revisited – Chapter 23 & 24

Download: AR_Podcast_CH23-24.mp3

Buy your copy of the award-winning, Amazon.com Gothic Romance bestseller Avalon Revisited via Amazon or Barnes & Noble in paperback, on the Kindle or Nook, or on Smashwords in various eBook formats. Also available: Author-Signed through the publisher.

-_Q

Avalon Revisited Podcast

Subscribe in a reader …. or in iTunes

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