NeonSeon's Blog, page 3
September 20, 2019
Remembering
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Leonard: “What was that guy’s name again?”
Shouty, closing his eyes and holding his fist to his head: “Don’t say nuthin’, I almost have it.”
Leonard: “Was it Tom?”
Shouty, putting his index finger up to his mouth: “Shhh.”
An undefined duration of time has passed and Leonard is now a skeleton, while Shouty is still straining to remember with his eyes closed and fist to his head.
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August 27, 2019
Sore
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Shouty, worried: “Sorry I’m walking slowly…my glutes are sore.”
Leonard: “You been weightlifting?”
Shouty, grinning: “Binge watching.”
August 20, 2019
Dream Come True
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Shouty, thinking to himself and blushing: “I can’t believe we’re about to kiss. I’ve wanted this for so long!! Dreams really can come true.”
Shouty and his beloved move close to each other. He is overwhelmed with the moment. They are smiling.
Both of them close their eyes and move in to kiss, their puckered lips a mere inch away from the other’s.
The alarm goes off at 7:00 AM and Shouty lays awake in bed.
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August 9, 2019
The Interrogation
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New washing machine with police badge to old dryer: “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Where are the missing socks?”
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July 26, 2019
Email: Draft vs. Sent
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How it looks when you review it:
“Hi Sam, Yes, I would like to buy your road bike for the listed price of $500.00. Thank you, Shouty”
How it looks after you send it:
“Hi Sam, Yes, I would like to but your your road bike for the listed price of $500.00 . Thanks you, Shouty”
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July 16, 2019
Let Me Know
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Leonard: “Shouty, wake up! You missed the ending.”
Shouty (half asleep): “Wha, huh?”
Leonard: “Next time, tell me if you fall asleep.”
Shouty (sarcastically): “Um, ok. I’ll be sure to wake up in the middle of my dream to let you know.”
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July 2, 2019
Ring Finger
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Ring Finger: “I had hoped Single Ladies would put me on the map but that ended up just helping the hand. Index finger has sports, middle finger is ubiquitous, and baby finger is still riding that Dr. Evil Exposure. Also, all the others are known for their position except me….So I’d like to announce from this point forward, call me Digitus Annularis – the ‘other’ middle finger.”
Baby Finger is looking at Ring Finger with a pacifier in its mouth, and Middle Finger is giving Ring Finger the finger.
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June 28, 2019
Nice to Meet You
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Thick Book: “Hi, I’m Tome.”
Bookmark: “I’m Mark.”
I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship….
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June 14, 2019
Vanilla Ice Cream
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Vanilla Ice Cream, looking upset: “I coulda had chocolate chips. Coulda had nuts or caramel. But I’m just plain vanilla. I’m not even French.”
Apple Pie: “But I like you.”
Vanilla Ice Cream is smitten.
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May 21, 2019
Stomach Size
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Shouty, holding a plate with a slice of pizza in one hand and a pizza box with the remaining slices in the other: “I can’t eat all of this pizza. Here, take this to work.”
Leonard: “Ok.”
Shouty: “What are you doing?”
Leonard, with the pizza box in his hand: “I’m taking this to work.”
Shouty: “No, leave the box with me. Take the slice.”
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