T. Strange's Blog, page 23

BDSMonday Archive - February 24 2014

It’s BDSMonday!

Today I’m thrilled to introduce my guest, Maddie Taylor. She’s sharing a post about domestic discipline through history, based on research she did for her first Victorian historical romance, Surrender Your Grace.

(This isn’t exactly about BDSM…but there’s definite overlap between domestic discipline and BDSM. And I absolutely cannot pass up on anything that combines two of my greatest passions—impact play and history!)

Please join me in welcoming Maddie!

BDSMonday - Description of Subspace

It’s BDSMonday!

Today’s post is about subspace.

Have you experienced subspace, or played with someone who went into subspace? How were your experiences the same as (or different than) the description below?

This is a description of subspace I originally found when I first experienced subspace and was very new to BDSM. This isn’t my writing, and I don’t recall the source (I believe it’s from The Fetish Information Exchange). Enjoy!




"Subspace has another meaning which is considerably more difficult to define, especially for those who have never been there. The best way I know how to describe it is that it is like a spiritually transcendent state of complete and overwhelming bliss, the after effects of which can last for hours and even days. I have heard it referred to as “a spiritual high.” While this is happening, the submissive/bottom is often said to be flying. It is similar to, but exponentially more intense and powerful than, what is often called “runner’s high.”

There are deeper reasons why the variety is so diverse. A whipping scene will often start off very lightly, with the top using a small whip to sensitize the bottom and get them into the rhythm of the scene, switching to heavier and heavier whips as the bottom gets deeper and deeper , more and more receptive to additional sensation.

This word we use to describe the psychological (mental) and physical state the submissive can - but does not (always) have to - reach as a result of BDSM interaction. On the Internet especially you will a lot of stories and articles about “subspace”. Most of these unfortunately got it dead wrong. This leads to a lot of confusion. For example “subspace” and orgasm are often mixed up.

One thing we do know: having an orgasm while in “subspace” is biologically next to impossible!

Now is where we can see the fundamental differences between “subspace” and other BDSM-experiences (driven by other motives). If and when the body decides not to go for the orgasm, but instead to go for “subspace” we are getting to the “deer in the headlights”. And also the point where the dam breaks.

If endorphins production continues - remember, we still do not know exactly why - trance and light forms of hallucination occur. THAT is “subspace”!

Someone “in subspace” is easy to recognise from the outside. They are no longer able to drive a car, or even a bike. They seem silent, absent-minded, slow responding, uninterested. In other words “not really here”. That again is not the same as the warm, glowy, dreamy feeling after an orgasm. Somebody ”in subspace” is “not on this planet”, so to speak.

"Subspace" is dangerous in some ways. People "in subspace" have very different levels of perception and awareness. They will see a traffic light as interesting colors that changes all the time. They do NOT see it as a warning signal. To them, a house is a fascinating stack of bricks with intriguing patterns - NOT something people actually live in. If you would slit the throat of someone “in subspace” they’d probably tell you they’d consider that an interesting and fascinating experience. They do NOT recognise the life threatening situation. Someone “in subspace” is INTOXICATED! Intoxicated as in: under influence of drugs.

"Subspace" is a form of trance. Trance in its essence is a state of being, different from your “normal” state of being. During trance your mind excludes most of its input and concentrates on just one or only very few impulses, completely disregarding all others. There are many ways in which a trance can be induced. Prolonged dancing for example, or hunger, prolonged physical activity. Hypothermia, recreational drugs, high fever, lack of nutrition, dehydration AND BDSM-activity all can induce trance. Just like repeated physical activity

"Subspace" can last for anything from several hours to several days. For the duration of "subspace" reflexes slow down severely (this is the result of the slightly intoxicating effects of enkephalins on the cortex) and much of normal, everyday logic no longer works. Someone in subspace cannot make responsible, consensual decisions.

As said, subspace is easy to spot from the outside. Pupils widen, responses slow down, appear illogical or simply do not occur. Food and sustenance is no longer important, people hear you, but do not understand you, they cannot find the right words and some submissives even stop breathing temporarily. Someone “in subspace” - as far as physical behavior and signals are concerned - is very similar to someone, under the influence of recreational drugs. The trance itself is important to them, feeds them and leads them. Nothing else matters and that - for example - includes sexual arousal. Colours, sounds, scents are individual, seemingly incoherent experiences. if you have never been here, you haven’t been “in subspace” (yet). And that’s fine. it is just that “subspace” is very different from everything else.”


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If you're interested in doing a guest post for BDSMonday, please let me know! You can comment, or email me: tq.strange (at) gmail.com

BDSMonday Archive - February 17 2014

It’s BDSMonday!

Today’s question: When (and how) did you first realize that you were into BDSM (or reading about it)?

I was a very kinky little kid. I was always playing with ropes and locks and things like that. I didn’t know what to call it, but I knew what I liked ;)

The first time I heard the term “BDSM”, I was watching The Matrix with my first girlfriend. She said something like, “Eeeee, BDSM!” When I asked her what that meant, she made it sound really scary and I remember thinking, oh, I don’t want that!

How times change :)

BDSMonday Archive - February 10 2014

Today’s question:

When you’re bound in some way (rope, handcuffs, etc.) do you try to get free or not?

While I usually -can- get free, I don’t usually try to until I’m given permission (unless the whole point of the scene is for me to try and escape…another story entirely :D).

My wife likes to be tied up occasionally, and I always grumble a little because SHE IS HOUDINI!!! The second I have the last knot tied, she escapes. I once did a -beautiful- dragonfly sleeve that took me upwards of an hour, and before I could sit back and appreciate my work…I was left with a pile of rope beside me.

Fantasy Boys XXX: Guest Post - Interview with Author, T Strange

Fantasy Boys XXX: Guest Post - Interview with Author, T Strange: Today, we are happy that author, T Strange is joining us to answer some questions :). Can you tell us a little about yourself? I have a s...

BDSMonday Archive - February 3 2014

It’s BDSMonday!

Today I have a special guest, Dena Celeste, with a blog post about some of the different kinds of marking that can be part of BDSM.

Personally, I -love- being marked…which means that a lot of my characters do, too! Besides actually participating in a scene, one of my favourite parts of BDSM is having my bruises, cuts, burns, etc. tended to. From bite marks to brands, I’m there!

BDSMonday Archive - January 27 2014

It’s BDSMonday!

Today’s question: What is the weirdest BDSM-related experience/interaction you’ve ever had? (I’m both excited and terrified to hear these—there are some real whackos out there!)

Whooo boy, mine would probably have to be…a guy kept messaging me on Fetlife, suggesting scenes for my Sir and I. Really, really detailed scenes that were clearly his fantasies. It got so weird and creepy that I eventually had my Sir message him and tell him, very politely, to f*** off. I love playing the Sir trump card :D I wish I could do it in vanilla interactions, too!

A-Z Challenge: Z is for Zinc

When I was in grade six, everyone in my class had to do a project about one of our province's resources. 
I really wanted to do zinc but I couldn't find enough information on it, so I had to do canola. (If you're sensing a theme here, you're not wrong). 
It was, predictably, pretty lame. My mom went nuts with the project and turned it into this huge production (basically this episode of Dexter). 

A-Z Challenge: Y is for Yakitori

Try to find a word for the A-Z Challenge, find a new food to try! (And learn a new word. Though I still think online Scrabble dictionaries are cheating).

Yakitori sounds amazing, and as of this moment I am making it my personal mission to try some. (Considering that Calgary is almost 5x larger than the city where I live, I'll probably have better luck finding some there. Good thing that's where I'm headed! With any luck, by the time this post goes live, I will have eaten some.)

BDSMonday - Decision Making

It's BDSMonday! (And I'm not actually here...technology is spooky. Odds are that at the moment I'm on my way home from the Calgary Expo, where I will have met Mark Hadlow and Jed Brophy and hopefully not scared them. It's in the future for me right now, but it will be in the past for me when this post goes live. Whooooo! Oooohhh!!! <--spooky noises)
Anyway.
Today's question:

What is your opinion on Doms/Tops (etc) making decisions for their subs/bottoms (etc)? (This isn't some creeper coming up to a bottom at the bar, handing them a drink and saying, "I got this for you." There has to be a power exchange already in place.)

Is it all right for a Top to order their bottom's meal for them? To control all of their money? Is there a point that you feel the bottom has to be an autonomous, responsible adult, or can they surrender all of their power and decisions to a Top?

Personally, I really enjoy having meals ordered for me and things like that. (We usually don't plan ahead and I'm pretty choosy when it comes to food, so this doesn't happen very often!) Most decisions are made by me, simply because 1) I'm the choosier of the two of us, and 2) my Sir doesn't want to have to make all of the decisions. So it's still a power dynamic.

As for finances, we have a joint bank account. (It's my only bank account, and it had better be my Sir's because otherwise she's been holding out when we really could have used the money! :P). Small, day-to-day purchases are made whenever something's needed, though we may occasionally check with one another if funds are running low. We decide about larger purchases together, though the final decision usually comes down to me. I'm the household's butler--I pay bills, do taxes, and generally keep track of our money. (I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, and general household maintenance. I still tease my Sir for remarking one day, "Wow, the kitty litter is always clean! It's like magic!" Me: "...yes. Magic.")

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If you're interested in doing a guest post for BDSMonday, please let me know! You can comment, or email me: tq.strange (at) gmail.com