T. Strange's Blog, page 20

It's So Close!

BDSMonday - Special Guest M. Strange Talks Sadism!

It's BDSMonday, and today I'm thrilled to introduce my guest...who also happens to be my wife/Sir.
Today she's sharing a post about her early experiences trying to figure out her role in BDSM.
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"When I first started BDSM with my wife, I struggled with my identity as a top for quite a while.At first, I really struggled with the idea of a relationship where I had more power than my partner. It took me some time to realize that though she submitted to me, though she was a masochist, I had her full consent and our relationship was an equal one. Whether we were in a scene or just living our lives, we both put in equal amounts of effort towards our relationship. This is honestly why I think our relationship is so strong; because we both put it at the top of our priorities.
Even though I panicked the first time she tried to submit to me and we broke up for a week or so, I’ve taken to the role of her Sir quite happily. Now my role as a top means a lot to me and I don’t think we’d be the same without it.
Still, once we started getting into the BDSM community, I realized that a lot of the dominants there weren’t what I was. We thought of our relationships in very different ways and I didn’t always understand where they were coming from.  I played with the words I used to identify myself for a while and finally settled on sadist, which I’m still happy with. More than I enjoy control, I enjoy spanking and biting and rough play.Though SM is my favourite kind of play, I know that my partner enjoys more of the mental D/s side of BDSM. At first this side of BDSM was really overwhelming for me. My wife helped me come up with easy D/s games to get me into it, and soon enough it was a natural part of our lives. Even now, some of the rules and rituals we came up with in the beginning have stuck through. At this point, they’re so engrained that we don’t even really notice that we’re doing them. It’s just a nice easy reminder of our relationship.
Not to say we don’t do more complicated D/s scenes, but they’re still a bit of a struggle for me. I still consider myself more of a sadist than anything, but I will always be her Sir."
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Feel free to ask one or both of us questions, as always. And if you have an idea for BDSMonday, I'd love to hear it!

Does This Happen To Anyone Else?

I always get East of Eden  and West of Eden* mixed up. "Yay dinosaurs! These are not dinosaurs! This is the evil Red Pony man!" (I was [and still am] a horse nut. The Red Pony should seriously come with a warning that it is not a happy pony story [and there are few enough of those, believe me] and should not be read by people who want to read about a pony who is red. To this day, I'm not sure how much of my hatred of Steinbeck is simply my childhood betrayal. [Vultures eat the pony's eyes, man! That is some fucked up shit, especially when you're like nine!])

I also always used to get autism and dyslexia mixed up when I was younger, which led to a good deal of confusion on my part!

(When I was very young, I thought all fish were from Finland. Makes sense, no?)




*Potential TMI: West of Eden has held the title of "Most Awkward Scene to Ever Get Aroused By" for many years. I honestly hope I never find something to replace that title. I don't even want to know what it would take.

BDSMonday Follow-Up: The Jokes!

Now that I've been sent all these great kinky jokes, what can I do but share them? Got one to add? It's never too late!

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Two men are seated at a bar having a drink, when one looks at the other and says "You know, I'm a Sadist. I derive tremendous pleasure from inflicting pain."

The second man says "Really?! That's amazing! I'm a Masochist, I derive tremendous pleasure from receiving pain!"

So the two new BFFs head to the Sadist's house, where he has an entire room full of everything imaginable. The Masochist strips off, allows himself to be chained to a rack, and stands spread-eagled and nude. The Sadist approaches him, dressed all in black leather, and carrying a vicious looking cat o' nine tails. Body quivering, the Masochist licks his lips and says breathily "Well? Aren't you going to whip me?"

And the Sadist smiles, and says "No."

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Q: What's the difference between Sensuous and Kinky?
A: Sensuous they use the feather, Kinky they use the whole chicken.

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Q: What's the most appropriate name for a slave? .A: Neil!

BDSMonday - Jokes

It's BDSMonday!

I feel like a good laugh today...hit me with your best kinky joke!

Happy Birthday, Boots and Leather - Giveaway!

That's right--Boots and Leather turned one year old (well, its published self  turned one year old...I started writing it before that, obviously). Its actual birthday was June 5th, but I have been crazy-busy and have hardly had a chance to sit down, it feels like!

I can't believe it's been a whole year since Gavin and Terry's story was released, but it also seems like the time just flew by. Thank you to everyone who's shown me so much love and support during the past year. I didn't want to let this anniversary pass without some sort of acknowledgment.

And what better way to celebrate than with a giveaway?

For an ebook copy of Boots and Leather, which is sexier: leather or a snappy suit? (Entries count double if you post a picture of a sexy boy modeling your choice ;) )

BDSMonday - Kink In The Media/Popular Culture

Love it or hate it (and I'm staying completely neutral on this one), Fifty Shades of Grey has launched BDSM into the public's view. Something used to be completely taboo is starting (starting!) to become a safe topic to discuss in a lot of social situations, with more and more people having at least a basic understanding of what BDSM is and is not.

BDSM has been cropping up in popular culture more and more--sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I haven't seen it for a while, but I remember enjoying the relationship between Lady Heather and Grissom on CSI. She's shown as a character and a human being, not just a mindless, leather-clad flogging machine. And it's refreshing to see BDSM on a police procedure show that isn't just, "Oh, a serial killer tied her up and did ____. How kinky!" or something like that.

I recently read The Right Address by Carrie Karasyov and Jill Kargman. I wasn't thrilled by it, and I was especially unimpressed with the way one of the characters died--tied up, wearing a dog collar in a divey room. It's an example of the all-too-common portrayal of BDSM as violent, scary, obscene, scandalous and dangerous. No one is surprised that he died that way, because he was into BDSM.

One of my favourite portrayals of BDSM on mainstream television is this scene from Supernatural (in case the video doesn't work for you, it's from season 4, episode 12: Criss Angel Is A Douchebag, and the scene is Dean talking to The Chief). Yes, it's played as a joke--Dean thinks he's being sent to see someone who has information, and he ends up in a BDSM club--but Dean doesn't freak out or act disgusted that a man with a flogger is coming on to him. And, more importantly, after The Chief does his spiel, he asks Dean for his safeword! BDSM isn't being shown as random, abusive violence, it's shown as having rules and a structure of its own.

What positive portrayals of BDSM have you seen in mainstream, vanilla culture? Aaaaand which not-so-positive portrayals have you come across?

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If you have an idea for BDSMonday, or would like to contribute in any way, please message me or email me: tq.strange (at) gmail.com

Pride Month! (or, Dear God How Is It June Already???)

Whoo hoo it's Pride Month!

I'm celebrating over at Beth Wylde's Yahoo group.

You can look for me on:

June 2 - G Day (Gay Day)

June 18 - Torquere Press - not only is this my publisher, it's also my birthday. Expect giveaways. Lots of giveaways :D I've got swag and ebooks with your name on them!

June 21 - EM Lynley and friends

June 30 - Free For All

Everyone take care and have a great Pride Month!

Is There A Word For This?

Here's something that really amuses me:
My shins are often bruised--most of my non-writing work is pretty hands-on and physical, and I have very fair skin. 
Whenever I come home with an injury, no matter how small, my wife always makes a (pleasantly) big fuss over it. 
And then she'll bite my thighs, leaving bigger, deeper bruises than the ones I had...and we gloat over those. (She does nurse them if they need it, of course, and it's a part of play we both really enjoy.)
Does this happen to anyone else? Is there a word for this type of situation? I wouldn't quite call it ironic...

The Fancy Dancer

I just had a random memory, and I'm surprised I didn't think to write about this sooner! The Fancy Dancer was one of the first M/M books I ever read. I found it in a gas station on the way to my friend's cabin, which was really random. Not really what I'd expect to find in a gas station in a small town on the Canadian prairies!

The title caught my eye because, while I'm white, there's a very high native population in my area, and I've been exposed to a lot of native culture during my life.

When I saw what it was about, I knew I had to buy it (and I think it was only .99 or something ridiculous like that, because it was a used book in a gas station).

I really, really enjoyed it, but I've only read all of it once. I've picked it up a few times, but I haven't finished it. It's beautiful and important and...really depressing.