Hal Young's Blog, page 26

We Tried Samaritan Ministries…

The changeover to Obamacare was a tough one for us. Insurance through our small business became impossibly expensive – three times the cost of our mortgage! We checked into alternatives at the Marketplace, but we fell in the gap and healthcare there was impossibly expensive, too.

With trepidation, we decided to try one of the Christian healthcare sharing ministries. We had friends who loved them, but we had pre-existing conditions and were worried about going with something that didn’t cover those. Seeing no alternative, though, we joined Samaritan Ministries a year ago.

We were surprised by how satisfying it was to send our monthly share to another Christian family in need directly. Knowing where it was going and being able to send them encouragement and pray for them made it turned an obligation into a pleasure. It was great knowing that our money wasn’t paying for things we didn’t want to support, too.

Then, late in the year, we had a couple of different medical issues at one time. I dreaded calling Samaritan to find out what to do, but I shouldn’t have. It was such a blessing! The person who took our claim was friendly, reassuring, and kind. He seemed more concerned about us than about the money – what a change from dealing with the insurance company. We even prayed together before I hung up.

Samaritan mailed me a packet to fill out for each claim. It asked all the usual things, but also included a place to share the prayer request which would be sent out when the claim was assigned to other members to pay. They asked for you to list each bill, then to put the original amount and enter any discounts you were able to negotiate. That’s when I found out something amazing…

Although there is a $300 deductible per event, any discounts you are able to get are credited toward your deductible! So, when I asked for a cash or self-pay discount at the doctor or hospital, any savings goes toward paying our part first! That means that one hundred percent of our claims have been covered!

Now, that $300 per incident deductible does mean that you’ll have to cover those occasional ear infections on your own. And, preventative stuff like physicals and vaccinations are up to you to pay, too. Our entire family, though, is covered for $405 a month and we’re even covered for huge catastrophic expenses by saving an additional $34.50 a month to share. Our old policy was $1000 a month with a $5000+ deductible. With savings like that, we should be able to pay for the other stuff on our own.

The only glitch we’ve had is that it was harder to get in to see a neurologist at Duke when I told them we were self-pay. The clerk said my doctor would need to send a referral request explaining the situation and they would have a meeting to decide if we could have an appointment! By the time they had done all that, we’d been able to determine what the problem was and get treatment. I’m wondering if there is a better way to deal with all that. Perhaps if I’d just given the Samaritan information as if it were insurance when I made the appointment?

The best part of the whole thing has been getting cards and checks from other Christian families around the country. Our daughter was really touched to read the notes from folks praying for her to get well. What a fantastic lesson that the Lord provides for his people – often through the love of the brethren.

We’ve got to say that we have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of Samaritan Ministries! We highly recommend you give them a try. If you do, would you mind telling them “Hal and Melanie Young” referred you? They’ll give us a break on our share next month and that would be a help here at the start of the conference season!

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

 

 

 

Awkward! How (and Why) to Have a Conversation About Sexting with Your Kids

It came up on Facebook again today. What do you do when you find your child has been sexting? It’s nauseating to even think about it, isn’t it? Awhile back, I was shocked when one of my friends told me she’d found a series of explicit texts on her son’s phone, but now we’re hearing about it all the time.

It’s way easier to head this stuff off beforehand than it is to pick up the pieces afterward, so let’s talk about how to address this with our kids.

When do you need to talk about it?

Pretty much as soon as they have any access to a device that takes pictures – very young indeed for many kids.

You can start out by talking about taking pictures. What kind of photos are good to take and what kind aren’t. For example, we don’t want to take photos that could embarrass someone. Sure, it’s funny, but how would you feel?

Then move on to, “You know, some photos are just wrong. It’s wrong to take pictures of someone who’s not properly dressed. Our bodies are supposed to be a gift for our husbands or wives alone. If you are ever tempted to do that, remember you can get in horrible trouble, so don’t!”

And mention, “What should you do if anyone ever tries to show you a picture of someone who’s not dressed? That’s right, you turn away and come tell us immediately. It’s wrong, and it can be illegal, too, so you don’t want to have anything to do with that.”

Don’t forget to teach them how to face down dares. “When someone says, ‘You’re just afraid!” remember that only someone who’s afraid would do something they know is wrong because someone dared them to! You be the one brave enough to do what’s right.” Teaching your children those things will help protect them.

Older kids need more detailed information.

If your children are texting or messaging others, they need to know some things.

Once you send something online, it’s there forever. Even if you use Snapchat or another “disappearing” message service, all it takes is a screenshot and the recipient has a permanent record. Even if they don’t, it resides on the service’s servers and could be accessed in the future. If you don’t want to see it on TV when you are running for the Senate, don’t send it.

Once you send a picture to a friend, it’s out of your control. All it takes is a few keystrokes for an angry friend to post a picture to everybody. Some poor kids have found that even moving to another town isn’t enough – the photo followed them.

Taking, sending, receiving, even possessing an indecent photo of someone under 18 is a felony. Here’s a story of someone facing eight years in prison for one count of it. (affiliate link) Most kids have no idea! They can’t see that there’s anything especially wrong with looking at a picture of someone their age or sending a picture of themselves. They need to know this wrecks lives.

Most importantly, it’s sin, serious sin. Matthew 5:28 tells us, “I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

But, what do you do if it’s too late?

What if you find this stuff on their phone? Then it’s time to intervene.

Sit down with them and talk about God’s design for sexuality. Use the Word of God and talk about sexuality in the context of marriage, childbearing, and family life. Here are some resources to help, especially our talk, “Shining Armor.”

Discuss the dangers of having photos out there. It’s there forever and it’s out of their control. There are some heartbreaking videos of teens talking about the torment they’ve gone through when a picture like this got out.

Explain the potential consequences to sharing photos of underage kids, even themselves. It’s a prison-term offense if you’re tried as an adult and they need to know that.

Drive home to them that the biggest problem is sin. Sin brings condemnation, “For the wages of sin is death,” but thankfully, that’s not the end of the story, “but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.” That’s the real issue. We need to repent and believe. Catching your child in this kind of sin may be just the wake up call they need to bring them to Christ.

Practically, sexual sin is addictive, particularly porn. They are going to need pretty constant supervision for awhile to break the habit even when they really want to. We call this intense discipleship. Get accountability on every internet capable device in your home. Here’s the one we use. (affiliate link)  Ask them pretty frequently, “How’s your thought life? How can I pray for you? How can I help you?”

Take away their internet access and phone for a time (but not for ages, they need to learn to use it wisely before they leave home!)

Keep talking. Ultimately, it’s an issue of the heart, so snatching them bald-headed isn’t going to have much of an effect if they are still rebellious – the most closely watched teen can still get into trouble if they want to badly enough. LISTEN. TALK. Take them to the Word. Pray. They need a change of heart – and only the Lord can do that.

Yours in the battle, 

Hal & Melanie

For more on teaching your boys particularly a Biblical view of sexuality, get our book, Raising Real Men, 2011 Christian Small Publishers Book of the Year

Handling the Flu in Your Family with Grace

This year’s flu season is a doozy! Most of the families we know have had it and the rest are scared to death they are going to get it.

We’ve found that times of sickness can bring out the worst in everyone — OR they can be workshops of grace! How can you make it that way? How can you make memories and build unity instead of ending up all over everyone’s nerves? This week’s podcast is about just that. Listen here.

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

Why You Ought To Persevere

  Are you homeschooling? If so, you’ve discovered that things are seldom as easy as you supposed. All of us at one time or another have looked at the yellow buses going by and thought, “Well, there’s always that …” But here are some things which help us keep on course when the headwinds pick up and doubts sometimes arise:

Often, the reason you chose homeschooling hasn’t changed. There are still peer group issues in the schools, you probably still won’t like the state-chosen curriculum, and you’ll still be tied down to an institution’s schedule, agenda, and politics.
Children do best when there’s stability in their lives. Taking your child in and out of a school situation can be disruptive and unsettling to them, especially if it’s frequent or happens in the middle of the year. We encourage new homeschoolers to make a commitment for a whole year, not just “We’ll try it a few months and see what happens.”
Sometimes your “school” time is needed for things you can’t measure. God’s curriculum is not always the same as our own. We may need to establish (or re-build) a love for learning, or strengthen the parent-child relationship, or learn about living through trials, or do something else which is not exactly “curriculum” … but makes a big difference in your child’s life. Get the basics done and trust God for the rest!
Results take time, but they’ll come. We have homeschooled eight children, and you know, our ten year olds have never said, “Thank you, Mom, for making the sacrifice to teach me spelling at home!”   But we have three graduates, and all three have phoned home from college – multiple times – to say, “I am so thankful  I was homeschooled!”  The time you spend now may be lean on the gratitude, but it’s investing in a future your child will likely bless you for.

We were at a conference a few years ago which gave out book bags that read, “When you teach your child, you’re actually teaching your grandchildren.” Some days homeschooling will be hard, and some years will be more about building character than finishing textbooks, but the adventure is worth it. Embrace the challenge and hold fast to your goals!

Yours In The Battle,

Hal and Melanie

Five Things You Need to Know About Your Boys & Internet Porn

“I don’t know who else to talk to. My little boy has been watching horrible stuff. I don’t know what to do.”

There are five things we wish all parents knew about internet porn. If they did, there would probably be a lot fewer of these heartbreaking messages for us to answer!

1. Your kids will probably be exposed to internet porn at some point. Very few aren’t: only about 3% of boys and 17% of girls are never exposed to porn.  (This link supports our ministry.) So, how can that be? With kids with smartphones and Kindles, it only takes a few seconds with cousins or friends to introduce your child to porn – and nobody went close to a “computer.” You’ve got to prepare them to fight it.

2. It’ll probably happen sooner than you think. The average age of first exposure is 12 years old. (Link supports our ministry.) That means half of kids who’ve seen porn encountered it before they were 12. If you wait until their voice changes to talk to them, you may be too late. You’ve got to start young.

3. This isn’t the porn of your youth. It’s much, much worse. This shocked us, but 83% of boys have seen group sex online, 69% have seen same-sex intercourse, 39% have seen bondage, and 32% have seen bestiality. (affiliate link) Folks, this stuff is vile. Your boys need your help!

4. Talking about sexuality in a Biblical context will not destroy your children’s innocence. Moms tell us they are afraid to talk with their kids “too soon” about sexuality, but in this world, the risk is much higher that your children will be exposed to sexuality in a very damaging way if you don’t start early. Be age appropriate. Watch them carefully to be sure you share enough and not too much, but always make certain they know that God created sex for marriage before the enemy teaches them otherwise.

5. Your boys need your protection. They need to know that God expects them to stay pure. They need to know about the dangers of indulging in this stuff. They need to know about repentance and grace if they fall. They need to know they are going to get caught. We put Covenant Eyes on every internet-capable device in our home. That way they know if they’re tempted that Mom will know by Thursday when she gets the report. Then they’ll be busted, for sure. Sometimes Often a  boy’s conscience needs that little boost.

Can a programming-savvy teen get around it? Sure, he can get around most anything, but he’s going to be busted when his hours of use don’t match the time you see him on the computer.

People tell us all the time, “We’d been meaning to get something, but we weren’t sure what was best.” Then they tell us about some horrific thing their son got into. Get something now, then figure out what’s best later. Until New Year’s Eve, you can try Covenant Eyes for 60 days free through our link. Go ahead, try it.  Covenant Eyes will support our ministry as long as you are members, but we recommended them for years before they ever offered to do that. We’ve used it ourselves for that long.

Even in this sin-soaked world, it is possible for young men to become honorable, godly men. They need our help, though.

For more help with how to talk to your son about these things, how to protect him from predators, or how Covenant Eyes works, head over to our Purity Guide.

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

 

 

 

 

The Worst Christmas Ever, Part 5

Christmas is a big deal at our house. We grew up in Christian homes, where Christmas was celebrated in a family-oriented, Christ-honoring way. We love the holidays.

I try to shop all year, watching out for deals on the things I knew our children would love. Even the times I was on pregnancy bedrest, I had a stash of gifts under the bed. This year was different, though. Our little newborn Katie had been born with a life-threatening heart condition and had spent weeks in and out of ICU.

Once Katie was stabilized, we were hip deep in writing Raising Real Men, then in getting it out to reviewers, and getting the word out so people could preorder it. Then, the week the preorders had to ship, we ALL got the flu. I remember that week in sort of an orange haze of signing books and stacked mail bins.

About the time we all got well, this whole trial started. Three children had surgery. And Hal had cancer. I didn’t have a single present under my bed.

I woke up the Thursday before Christmas thinking about it. Okay, the children are feeling better. The appointments are all done until Hal’s surgery next week. Got a lot to do today, but tonight I’ll go out and at least buy something for each of the children!

Didn’t happen.

As the day’s tasks drew to a close and I got ready to leave, Caleb, our teen who’d had surgery, took a turn for the worse. We raced to the hospital. By the time we got there, he couldn’t even walk. They went right to work to take care of him.

Hours later, after he’d begun to feel better and his big brother had come to stay with him at the hospital, I left for home. The drive was as silent and empty as only a small town in the middle of the night can be. It was a good thing because I was nearly blinded by tears. Shopping didn’t happen. What on earth am I going to do? I can’t get away for five minutes! What if we get to Christmas and there’s nothing?

I stumbled in the house and collapsed in front of the computer. I knew I was too upset to sleep. Everyone else was asleep; there was nothing on social media. I checked email. There was one I didn’t recognize at all. I clicked it.

We live in Wake Forest and I am not sure where you all live.  My husband met you at a homeschool football league game when you were there with your book about a month and a half ago.  Anyways, we were thinking that maybe we could do some Christmas shopping for you…would be thrilled to buy some gifts for your children.

 

I sat back stunned. How could this be? These people didn’t even really know us! Yet, our dear Father looked down in love and compassion on us and put it in their hearts to do this.

“It shall come to pass

That before they call, I will answer;

And while they are still speaking, I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24

I wrote back immediately.

 I wept when I read this. You must be listening carefully to our Father, because this had to be from Him! I have not bought the first present for the children. I kept thinking, as soon as this one crisis is over, but it just won’t get over.

I am crying now writing this. Crying tears of amazement and joy. Yes, trials will come. Yes, you will get to the end of your own ability. But, if you are trusting Jesus as your Savior, you are never alone. Never forgotten. He even cares about the little things. He led a couple of strangers to buy Christmas presents for our children!

In the midst of the storm, there is peace. There is provision. There is glory.

May the Lord who answers prayers before they are spoken, meet your every need. He does that. We’ve seen it happen.

Read Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Merry Christmas!

Melanie

Great gifts you can feel good about giving – that’s one way you can keep this ministry going. Shop in our Merry Christmas Shop until Friday at noon for Christmas delivery. Rubberband machine guns, encouraging audiobooks, historical fiction, and more, for little guys to adults. Go shop!

The Worst Christmas Ever, Part 4

All Things.

The Scriptures talk about the value of a word in season. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver,” wrote Solomon in Proverbs 25:11. Sometimes a particular conversation or note, a phone call or email, will make a radical change in a situation.

I experienced this while the diagnosis of cancer was fresh and treatment hadn’t started.

Although my experience with cancer started with a feeling of unreality, eventually it was going to sink in – this was real indeed, and it could be the last Christmas I spend with my family. There was a real possibility I would miss out on my children growing up, on growing old with the wife of my youth, on hoping to see all eight of my children married and starting their own families.

I’ve been a follower of Christ for many years. I know that as a sinner who is a recipient of God’s grace and forgiveness because of Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross, I could look forward to heaven, and that whatever happened between now and then, that He would wipe away every tear and make all things new.

But still … the human being hesitates at the thought of leaving. So much I want to do still, so many things I’d be leaving undone.

At this point, one of Melanie’s friends passed along a link to “Don’t Waste Your Cancer,” an article by John Piper. “I write this on the eve of prostate surgery,” he started. Piper had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and as he contemplated that fact, he shared a perspective that shaped my attitude toward my lymphoma.

“I believe in God’s power to heal–by miracle and by medicine,” he wrote; God gets the glory either way.  But my oncologist had warned that lymphoma which had spread as far as mine had carried just better than 50-50 odds for survival. What then?

Piper went on to acknowledge that possibility. “Healing is not God’s plan for everyone,” he agreed, but went on to remind me that ultimately God is in charge, that He is a loving Father who rules all of creation for His glory – and even sickness serves His greater purpose in our lives.

As I read through his article, it sank in with me. I am not only a child of God but a servant in His kingdom. He promised never to leave me nor forsake me in this life, and if this was the start of my departure for heaven, He promised to be a father to my children and a provider and protector for my wife.

Could I accept that?

For years, I had cherished the truth of Romans 8:28.

For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

All things? Even lymphoma?

I took a deep breath at that.

Yes, even lymphoma. All things.

At that moment, I realized where my challenge would lie. Was I willing to trust that God is faithful to His promise, and like Paul in Romans 8, believe and live out the truth that even hardship, fear, and pain– even death–are worked into God’s plan for His kingdom. That ultimately it would even be for my good?

I did not invite my cancer—and as far as anyone knows, this cancer isn’t a result of lifestyle or environment. I would not wish the experience on anyone. Yet I can look back like Hezekiah and say, “Indeed it was for my own peace that I had great bitterness.” (Isaiah 38:17). It was good that God brought me to this place, and through it.  I was about to see God’s hand in both medicine and miracle, just like John Piper had said. But at the start, with the statistical future uncertain and treatment still weeks ahead, there was only faith to rely on. And learning to make that choice and carry it through, when the outcome didn’t seem at all certain from an earthly perspective, was going to be a very good thing.

==========

Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects;

Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty.

For He bruises, but He binds up;

He wounds, but His hands make whole.  (Job 5:17-18)

Blessed are those who mourn, Jesus said, for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

Make me to hear joy and gladness, prayed David, that the bones You have broken may rejoice. (Psalm 51:8)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Stay tuned.  Read Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Hal

Want your family to be able to see the good God has for them in trials? We HIGHLY recommend our Pollyanna audiobooks. They’re aren’t sappy, they’re hilarious – and they’ll change you. Check them out here.

And check out our other great Christmas gifts in our store. Give gifts you can feel good about – and support our ministry at the same time! 

The Worst Christmas Ever, Part 3

Who’s in Charge Around Here?

My father died when I was fourteen. Kids that age don’t think about the possibility of death, but when you lose someone you love, that innocence is gone forever.

When Hal and I got married, I was so afraid he’d die that I’d wake up in the night to put my hand on his chest and feel him breathe. When he left for work in the morning, I’d pray like crazy for his safety. So, to hear the doctor say, “I think it’s cancer and it looks really bad,” was just devastating to me.

Here it was the Christmas season, one of the happiest times in our family, and I was a wreck. I didn’t want to burden Hal or the children, so I would sneak upstairs to my bathroom and sob my eyes out.

If you’d ever run out of toilet paper in my bath, you’d know that no one could ever hear me there. Honestly, I’ve screamed until I was hoarse with no response. I hope I don’t ever break a leg up there!

So, my secret was safe. I could sob and cry and worry as long as I liked and no one would ever know. It didn’t help, though. The burden just felt heavier and heavier.

We have a tradition of choosing an Ornament of the Year that says something about what God has done in our lives that year. Somewhere special we went, a certain provision for our needs, a happy memory, all of those things were represented there.

Each day was full of phone calls begging doctors to see Hal (don’t ever get really sick during the holidays) and research about our options. Every time I looked up, my eyes fell on one of our ornaments and the memories flooded over me. Then the worries came. How would I support the children? How could I raise six sons by myself? What would the girls do without a Daddy? How could I keep going without my best friend? The fear followed me around like a dark cloud. It was my constant companion.

But, if Hal were to die, would I really want to spend the last few months I had with him miserably anxious? Was this anxiety even getting us anywhere? I decided that every single time a worry came into my mind, I would stop and pray about it.

How would I support the children? Father, please provide for us. If there’s something I need to do, please show me.

How could I raise six sons by myself? What would the girls do without a Daddy? Father, please spare Hal to be a father to his children. If that’s not your will, please be a father to the fatherless, as you said.

How could I keep going without my best friend? Father, please, please, please heal Hal. Help me to bear this.

Know what? The crushing anxiety stopped. Worries no longer flooded in. All that fear was not from the Lord, and the enemy surely didn’t want to drive me to prayer.

When I took my fears and anxieties to God, they faded in the light of His sovereignty. This cancer was a surprise to us, but not to God. He’d prepared us for it; He would take care of us through it.

When I laid every burden at the foot of the cross, looking at the tree became very different. The cornucopias reminded me of the year God provided for us through a tough layoff. The ornaments for each new child made me remember the joy that came at the end of each of those rough bedrest pregnancies. Every memory showed God’s love and care for us.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil; For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 127

Stay tuned. An amazing bit is coming.

Read Part 1.   Read Part 2.

Melanie

You can keep this ministry going by shopping in our Merry Christmas Shop. Gifts for Mom, Dad, teens, girls and boys. Stuff you can feel good about giving.

The Worst Christmas Ever, Part 2

The Christmas I Couldn’t Sing

My family doesn’t have a history of cancer, so the news that I might have lymphoma had a sense of unreality to me…

I didn’t have any symptoms to speak of.

Losing weight? Well, yes, I had lost weight, but I had been dieting for several months and was frankly quite happy with what seemed to be the results.

Unexplained bleeding? No, none that I’d noticed and I would think I would notice.

Hair loss? Well, my father was bald when he was thirty, and at forty-five I was blessed to still have hair. Any thinning was par for my family’s course.

Well, any symptoms specific to lymphoma, any swollen lymph nodes? None. It turned out my tumor was in the space behind my breastbone, where it had room to grow without bulging the skin or even being detectable like a neck gland that swells when you catch a cold.

So we stared at the x-rays and the pathology reports, stunned. No warning, and not even a fatalistic thought of something inevitable finally arrived. And with no symptoms or even discomfort, it was like hearing someone else’s story–not my own.

Others were not so detached. My mother bravely kept her anxieties from me, but was careful to be sure she got pictures of each one of the children with me separately when she came to visit.

My sons pledged to show their solidarity with Dad by shaving their heads.

“Please don’t,” I said. “When I sit down for dinner, you’ll look like a carton of eggs.” Well, half a carton anyway, we only have six boys, but still.

(As it happened, I didn’t lose my hair during chemotherapy. The joke would have been on the guys if they’d done it anyway.)

The one symptom I had drove the reality home. I lost the ability to sing.

I’m not a trained singer by any means. Many years of playing tuba in band had taught me to hear the bass line in the music, though, and I’d finally made the connection between the written notes and singing–a different skill than playing an instrument. I love the congregational singing in church, joining my family for impromptu hymn sings and “ballads, songs, and snatches” of Gilbert & Sullivan, or even just singing in the car by myself. Music is an important part of my life and our family life.

But after my biopsy, I found I couldn’t sing.

The oncologist explained that the tumor had grown to the point it pressed on one of the nerves to my larynx, so it interfered with the control of my vocal cords. I didn’t have a problem speaking, but I couldn’t hit a note or hold it. For the first time, I found myself standing mute in church, reading the words of the hymnbook but unable to sing them. Christmas carols that year were a literary exercise.

When we had our much-anticipated annual caroling party, the fact I was just a day out of surgery was an excuse to stay home while the group went out. In my heart, though, it was the loss of my singing that was coming home. That, surprisingly, was my first realization was that this was true–something was going wrong, something I’d neither experienced nor expected.

It was the Christmas I couldn’t sing. Not because I was depressed … but because I wasn’t able. That’s when it hit home.

 Stay tuned.

Hal

Learn about our annual Caroling Party and how easy it is to preserve this great tradition in our eBook, Christ-Centered Christmas. When else can you knock on a stranger’s door, loudly sing the gospel to him, and have him respond, “Please, just one more! Let me get Mama.”

Keep this ministry going by shopping in our Merry Christmas Shop for great gifts you can feel good about giving!

 

The Worst Christmas Ever

 

 

It’s been five years since the worst Christmas ever. It all started on a plane ride home with Hal. We had been to a business event and he coughed uncontrollably the whole trip.

“I think I have pneumonia,” he said. “I’m calling Dr. Watson tomorrow.”

What? Hal never goes to the doctor if he can help it, I thought. He must be really sick.

Sure enough, it was pneumonia. The doctor took an x-ray and sent him home to bed on antibiotics.

A couple of days later, two of the children had tonsillectomies for sleep apnea. I was driving them home, exhausted, when our youngest started coughing horribly. My stomach clinched; she had a heart condition, and a serious infection could be life-threatening. Could she have the same thing as Hal? I called our doctor right away and he said to bring her in as soon as I’d taken the other children home.

I was so thankful for teens at home to help out. This was too much. Especially at Christmas.

When I got to his office, our dear family doctor seemed uneasy, unlike himself. He examined our little girl and pronounced her safe. “Just a virus,” he assured me. “She’ll be okay.” Then he shut the door.

“We need to talk,” he said.

He searched for words. “Hal’s x-rays came back,” he said finally. “There’s a mass behind his breastbone. We need to find out what it is.”

I was stunned. I felt desperate. “What is it? Will he be okay?”

Dr. Watson called the hospital and insisted they stay over for an emergency CT scan. I quickly left to tell Hal and get him over there.

On the way home, I called a few friends to ask them to pray.

 

Hal and I got to the hospital and they took him right back. It was the end of the day on Friday. The technicians were staying late and wanted to go home. I walked out to the waiting room, prepared for an anxious wait. Instead, I saw my friends. When I called, they didn’t just pray—they came to pray with me. They brought me dinner. They wrapped me up in love. They sent pizza to our children at home.

Back at home, it was a long, worried weekend, taking care of two post-operative children and a sick husband. Results wouldn’t be in until Monday or later, and we were on pins and needles.

Sunday evening, our doctor called and asked if he could come over to our house. That didn’t sound good. If it was bad news, we wanted to tell the children our own way. We offered to meet him at the office; his hands were shaking as he unlocked the door.

We sat down and waited. Stan seemed to struggle a moment for composure. I was so thankful we were alone, so thankful for his compassion and thoughtfulness. He took a breath and started.

“It think it’s lymphoma – cancer – and it’s spread.”

Stay tuned.

Melanie

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