Hal Young's Blog, page 2

Keep Hal & Melanie on the Road!

Dear Friends,

Wow! What a week. I know some of you saw our son’s quick prayer request in our Raising Real Men Community on Facebook and have already been praying and we’re grateful. Let me tell the rest of you the ridiculous story…

Last week, we headed out late Wednesday evening on a conference speaking trip. We thought we’d be okay since we only had a little over three hours to drive that night. HOWEVER, we discovered I-95 was shut down for almost one third of our drive to clear a big accident, and no simple detour to take. We didn’t arrive at our destination until around 2am, exhausted.

At a little after 3am, we got a call from Melanie’s mom. She was sick with the stomach flu and had gotten so weak that when she fell, she couldn’t get back up. It took her two hours to reach a phone! We had to rush to wake up our adult son Caleb back home to drive over there and break in (since OF COURSE her spare keys were with us). He helped her and came back and repaired everything later. Anyway, by the time we knew she was okay, there wasn’t much time left to sleep since we had to get up and get on the road so we’d arrive in time to set up – it takes a while now that our booth is so big!

Presto, chango! (Not really, it usually takes us HOURS!)

To make a long story short, the van broke down when we were still an hour short of the conference. Our old friend Gary Bloom of the wonderful Books Bloom left his own setting up, drove an hour back, and got Melanie, the boys, and the trailer and brought them to the conference, but with only 30 minutes left to get started setting up. Our great friends Paul and Gena Suarez of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine took Melanie to the airport to rent a car for the weekend while the boys started unloading. MEANWHILE Hal sat in the sweltering heat (thankfully the girls had stayed home with family) for FIVE HOURS waiting on the tow truck. By the time Good Sam’s Club had towed Hal to the conference city and we picked him up at the mechanic, it was after 11 and close to midnight when we got back to our AirBnB, utterly exhausted.

The weekend continued in that vein, with another emergency with Melanie’s mom in the two hours we had to set up early Friday morning, followed by news that the van couldn’t possibly be fixed that weekend. Thankfully, our friends and heroes the Trautmans back home were able to loan us their van, so Caleb drove 550 miles on Saturday so we and the trailer could get home on Sunday.

Then, we got the awful news that the van needs a new engine. Second problem – rebuilt engines won’t be available for several weeks from now, and Ford Motor Company can’t even estimate a delivery date for new engines at all because they are waiting on pistons! Not to mention that the van already has 244,244 miles on it and has been driven HARD since the Lord gave it to us in 2015. If you haven’t heard that story, you ought to go listen; it was really amazing what the Lord did!

So, here we are again. We have one vehicle, an elderly Saturn SUV that won’t pull our trailer. We’ve already had to drop the idea of exhibiting at a conference in August, but we have to have something that can pull the trailer before we start traveling to speak again – and we were already hoping to replace the trailer as it’s just too small to hold all our resources anymore!

As you might expect, we weren’t planning to spend thousands of dollars this week. We were hoping for another two years of service from this van! And of course, it’s a low-sales time of year and a lot of funds are already tied up in inventory for Christmas — deliveries have been unpredictable recently. But we need a vehicle and trailer to do what we do, traveling to speak at conferences, churches, and family camps, helping people make Biblical family life practical. We still have teens at home, and we’ve always traveled together to keep our family strong while we’re talking with other folks about theirs. And we need to have resources on hand to help and encourage the people we meet, right there when we’re with them.

So here’s the bottom line: 

A new Ford engine will be $6062, plus travel costs back to Chattanooga and any storage fees. No prediction how soon that will be available.

A rebuilt engine would be $7200 plus travel and storage, available sometime around Labor Day. We didn’t have a great experience with our last rebuilt.

Someone asked why not go for a newer vehicle? After all, our van is nine years old and has nearly a quarter million miles on the transmission. We’ve looked, but the used car market is strained right now and we have to have a vehicle with a towing package and sufficient capacity. Big vans and SUVs are at a premium in the used market now, and low mileage options seem to run $35,000 and up.

While we’re dreaming, an RV, which would give us a lot more options when we travel, could be $100K or more.

An upgraded trailer (once we have some way to pull it!) would be around $5000 more.

So, here’s the plan! We’re going to have a BIG sale, discounting even things we never discount! Scroll down for details. We’ve also set up a fund-raiser on Give, Send, Go! for you wonderful folks who always say, “I just want to give you something to help!”

(Get Us) On the Road Again Sale

Coupon will be automatically added to your cart when you click each link. It won’t apply until you add an applicable product to your cart, though.

10% off Training Swords and Knives in Adventure Gear – swordten
(Prices have really gone up on adventure gear. Get it at the old price while you can!)

20% off the Character-Building Audiobook Library – librarydeal

15% off Parenting & Family Life Books we Publish – bookblessing15

50% off Downloadable Audiobooks we Publish- julyaudio
(except the Library, which is already 50% off and further discounted above)

10% off Craftsman Crate Past Crates (never discounted before!) – pastcrateten

$20 off a 3 Month or Longer Craftsman Crate Subscription – cratetwenty

10% off Products for Struggling, Gifted, and Different Learners, including Dianne Craft – learninghelp10

 

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

Book Review – Sir Ernest Shackleton’s South

Photo Credit: Library of Congress

Before the space age dawned, the great frontiers for adventure and exploration were the polar regions. Sir Ernest Shackleton was part of two expeditions which set “Furthest South” records in 1902 and 1909, striving for the South Pole. After Captain Robert Scott’s death on the way back from the Pole (after discovering Roald Admundsen had reached it first), Shackleton organized a trans-polar expedition. Its goal:  to cross the Antarctic continent from one side to the other, from the Weddell Sea to the Ross Sea.

South is Sir Ernest’s account of the expedition, taken from his own logs and the journals of several men who served with him. It’s a story of incredible courage and fortitude; the expedition failed when the flagship Endurance was crushed in an ice pack and Shackleton was forced to lead his crew of 28 back to safety. Adrift on the ice for more than five months, the party took to the three open lifeboats when the ice broke up and made it 346 miles to an uninhabited island. Shackleton then took the strongest of the boats and five companions to try and reach South Georgia, a small island visited by whaling ships. After two weeks in stormy seas, a hurricane-force gale, and 800 miles of open water, the tiny boat landed on the unsettled side of that island. Shackleton then led two men across 32 miles of glacier and mountain terrain to reach help. It took four months for the rescue ship to fight back through the ice pack, but in the end all 28 men in his crew survived.

(The sister ship Aurora, intended to meet and support Shackleton from the other side of the Pole, had its own catastrophe and lost three men of its 28.)

A biographer said a generation later. “Scott for scientific method, Amundsen for speed and efficiency, but when disaster strikes and all hope is gone, get down on your knees and pray for Shackleton.”

The story is told with almost clinical detachment, but you can clearly read the lessons in the narrative. Shackleton had a deep commitment to the men as well as the mission, and he was constantly concerned over their morale and comfort. Officers and men shared alike the hardships and deprivation. You see the power of the leaders’ example and outlook, both from Shackleton and his second in command, Frank Wild, whom he left in charge of the 22 men encamped on rocky Elephant Island. Wild’s unfailing optimism kept up their hopes for four and half months when they didn’t know if the rescue party had perished or might return at any time.

In a time when we get out of sorts if our coffee’s late, it’s hard to imagine living a year on hardtack and scraps of penguin, cooked over a smoking fire of seal blubber – then climbing into a wet sleeping bag for another night in sub-zero weather. Scurvy’s not a thing in our world. But it’s good to hear the story of men who willingly took the chance of hardship, and then bore up under the trials when they came. We could all use some more Shackleton in our character!

Black Friday and Cyber Monday Sales

Dear friends,

We are so thankful for your support. When you spend your Christmas dollars here, you help keep our family’s small business and ministry going!

This weekend, we’ve got some great deals for you!

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Our newest book, Christ-Centered Advent gives you four weeks of family devotions based on Christmas Carols! Get 35% off here:

Here are some incredibly profitable ways to use your time at home or on the road. These are the books our adult kids say shaped their characters…

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Look at our popular Craftsman Crate series, and subscribe!

$10 off your first box with the coupon newcrate10 OR

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We have some really cool past Craftsman Crate boxes, but only while the supply lasts! We’ve sold out of lots already, so hurry if you want these!

Got kids 9-13 and wondering what in the world has happened to them? Wondering if it is you or them? You are not alone! Here’s help! Use the coupon code MiddleSchoolHelp to get $15 off any version of Boot Camp 9-12 or any of our online masterclasses.

 

Get 15% off of all of Hal & Melanie’s parenting books with bookblessing15

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ENJOY!

Your Friends,

Hal & Melanie

Reading Biographies for Fun, Too

Continuing a discussion from our podcast and YouTube channel, a listener asked us to elaborate on some of the historical books that Hal enjoys reading. An earlier post linked to a number of historical books, but this segment Hal’s talking about biographies – a branch of history that he also follows. (These are affiliate links and pay us a small commission if you use them)

John Adams – David McCollough … the life of the second president and the inspiration for the HBO miniseries

Coolidge – Amity Shlaes … “Silent Cal” declared war on the national debt and reined in expanding government … for a while, anyway

The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill – William Manchester … 3008 pages but good reading!

Churchill – Paul Johnson … an amazing concise biography of a long-lived, long-experienced, and complex man

The Lion’s Pride – Edward J. Renehan … a look at the lives of Theodore Roosevelt and his children (did you know that both President Roosevelt and his son, General Theodore Roosevelt Jr., won the Congressional Medal of Honor?)

Co. Aytch – Sam R. Watkins … a first-person memoir of the Civil War, from a Tennessee foot soldier – a classic of the genre

Here I Stand – Roland Bainton … a life of Martin Luther, the reformer

Also mentioned:

Modern Times – Paul Johnson … a review of world history and influential ideas from World War I to the 1990’s

Listen to the podcast on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network

Catch the video on YouTube

Reading History for Fun

 

 

I like history – there are many reasons but maybe I’m just naturally curious. At any rate, Melanie and I talked on our podcast about our shared interests in certain authors and subject matters, but admitted that I enjoy history and biography more than she does (she has her own preferences, too). A listener politely reminded us that we hadn’t elaborated on our separate interests, so a later episode I shared some books I’d enjoyed on historical topics. If you’d like to investigate some of these (and I can recommend all of them), the links below will take you to them via our affiliate code

Q&A How do you deal with scared kids at night?

A mom in one of my Facebook groups asked, How do you deal with scared kids at night? my child comes into our room nearly every night terrified – scared of the dark, scared of nightmares, all kinds of things. People tell me to put him in bed and spank him if he gets out, but that doesn’t feel right. What do I do?

I was that child and I have raised several of them. Just like depression, it is not uncommon for kids with high intelligence and great creativity to struggle with fear. Some kids just seem to be able to imagine all the (horrible) possibilities.

The way we have dealt with it is to pray with them whenever they mention fears — right then and seriously. We want to teach our kids that God is stronger than anything that threatens them and that fear should drive them right to Him. When they come to us afraid, we always say, “Well, let’s pray about that.” After awhile, they start coming to us and saying, “Can you pray with me? I’m scared!” That’s a great thing.

We also let them sleep with whatever level of light they need to feel comfortable even if that is leaving a light on all night. Yes, I know they will sleep better in the dark, but I believe sleeping without fear is even more important. A flashlight, a night light, or a small lamp can drive away the what ifs.

 

We also put them on probiotics and on fish oil. Gut issues can cause anxiety and so can low omega-3s! This was driven home to me in the past few years. I have ALWAYS had fears that I knew weren’t really rational. A few years ago, I contracted Lyme Disease. I had to be on antibiotics for a very long time to deal wtih it. I got really serious about protecting my gut and went on two different probiotics and kept it up for a while after the antibiotics stopped. Y’all. The anxiety just went away! When I was in a strange place in the dark alone, instead of imagining what could be there, I was completely relaxed. When other things that had caused anxiety in the past came up, they caused me no problem. I was stunned. Seriously. There can be physical causes for this fear. And it can go away!

We never shame our kids or discipline them for fear. “Perfect love casts out fear.” (I John 4:18) “Come unto me you who are weary or heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) “Fear not, I am with you.” (Isaiah 41:10) Our heavenly Father gives us the pattern here. If they are too scared to stay in their rooms after we’ve prayed, we tell them to bring a blanket and pillow and make a pallet on our floor. They won’t stay there forever. We want our love and understanding to be an example, a faint picture, of the intense love of God the Father for them.

Our kids are mostly grown and gone. Yes, we had kids on pallets in the floor a good bit. Yes, we had to wake up and pray with them many times. Those days are all in the past now, the kids are calm, happy adults, and the only things that wake us up in the night now are our aging bladders.

I know it’s hard when you’re tired and it’s the third time this week. That’s when we flee to the Lord in prayer, too. Father, give us the patience to cope with our children’s fears with love and kindness. Give us the grace to respond as we ought. Strengthen our relationships with our children. And help us to act right tomorrow without the sleep we wanted. In Jesus’s name.

Your friend,

Melanie

 

Mother’s Day: Disappointment or Happiness?

It happens too often. A friend posts about how disappointed she is in how her family celebrated her birthday or Mother’s Day. She’s hurt or angry and she’s sure no one really cares about her.

Is that true, though? You know it isn’t. I used to feel the same way, though, and I couldn’t ask for a better husband and children! I learned to change a few things and now I look forward to those days! Here’s what I learned:

Tell them what you want and how to do it. I think we resist doing that because we think if they really cared, they’d just know. Listen. Husbands are not vulcans. Kids are not vulcans. They can not read your mind. They don’t even catch your hints. Be explicit, in a kind way, “Honey, you know what I’d love for us to do on Mother’s Day? …. Can we do that?”

Manage your expectations. If they were as good as you at understanding people’s needs and nurturing them, they wouldn’t be kids or a husband. Instead, decide to see their love and not how they fall short.

It is to your glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11) Or, just a mistake! Maybe your husband didn’t plan ahead enough or your kids get into a fight over your special meal. You can get mad or you can get over it. Your family is full of sinners. So is mine. For that matter, I’m a sinner and so are you. We need to give them the grace we need ourselves. Even if they do it again and again. Remember, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Now, let’s talk about some good stuff…

 

Figure out your love language and tell them what it is. What makes you feel loved? Acts of service, loving touch, gifts, words of affirmation, or just spending time together are ways we show and perceive love. It’s okay to say, “I love it when you hug me,” or “Thank you for saying that, it means so much when you tell me you love me.”

“Hear” what they are saying in their love languages. Sometimes our loved ones show love in a way that isn’t easy for us to hear. The child who is climbing all over you may be showing love through touch in their immature way. The husband who spends more than you can afford on a gift may be trying to show you his enormous love through gift-giving. Try to learn the ways they are showing love and feel loved when they do those things!

Did you know you can decide to be happy?

For a long time, I thought the problem was my family. I found out the problem was me. My bad attitude had made my family feel awful, like they couldn’t measure up, like they were doomed. Everyone got irritable and it snowballed into disaster. I dreaded holidays that honored me.

When I started doing these things, though, celebrations become joyful. When I was happy, my husband and kids were happy! And the happiness snowballed just as quickly as the disappointment. We started having a wonderful time together.

That is REALLY IMPORTANT when your kids leave home. It’s so easy for them to come up with an excuse not to come home. How much better when they wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Listen, Mamas, decide to be happy! Decide to accept whatever your family does or doesn’t do through the eyes of love. You’ll be glad you did — this weekend and in the future.

And here’s some help in telling them what they can do, even in this weird time of quarantine, to bless you on Mother’s Day. Join our email community of tens of thousands of families to download this great printable!

Your friend,

Melanie

 

Celebrating with a Friend!

We are so excited to be helping our friend Felice Gerwitz today! Felice is the founder of the Ultimate Podcast Network which hosts our podcast, Making Biblical Family Life Practical!

Felice is celebrating her 400th Podcast Episode of Vintage Homeschool Moms! Several of her friends are coming together to help her celebrate by giving away ONE $200 Amazon Gift Card!!

Let us tell you a little about Felice. Felice began homeschooling in 1986 when she had two little children and she thought it might be temporary. In fact, her husband told her to try it for six months and if homeschooling didn’t work, to put the kids in school. Well, her children thrived and soon there were three more children! In 2018, she graduated the last of her five children after 32 years homeschooling! Mentoring homeschool moms is her passion! Felice has lots of homeschool experience to share with you. Be sure to check out Vintage Homeschool Moms and prepare to be inspired, encouraged, and supported in your homeschool journey.

For more encouragement, you can find Felice here too:

Media Angels
The Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network
The Ultimate Christian Podcast Network

 

After you head over and enter the contest, come back here and sign up for this great pack of freebies and deals we have for you right here!

 

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

Quarantine Reading: Some of Our Favorite Books and Authors

Someone has pointed out that in this strange time, some people have time on their hands, while others are working harder than ever! But even if you’re one of the busy ones, you may be feeling a need for some diversion when it’s time to unwind. Recently on our podcast, we shared some of our favorite authors (especially those with several books available). Here’s a summary of those suggestions, with links if you want to explore some for yourself!

(These are affiliate links which pay us a small commission)

Mysteries and Detective Stories

We love classic mysteries for two reasons – the belief in a moral order which leads us to pursue justice, and characters who are fundamentally decent people (those who may not be believers, but live by a basic code which is Biblically compatible).  We don’t go for stories which are morally ambiguous or occultic in nature – and these aren’t.

Dorothy L. Sayers – (Lord Peter Wimsey). The classic “gentleman detective” stories. One of the best writers in the English language, we think. This story is maybe the best of her best:

Ngaio Marsh – (Detective Inspector Alleyn of Scotland Yard). A prolific writer, with something like thirty books in the series; interestingly, there is usually a romantic subplot in her books, though her main character is a very monogamous family man.

Tony Hillerman and Anne Hillerman – (Lt. Joe Leaphorn of the Navajo Tribal Police) – The Hillermans (father and daughter) write with beautiful appreciation about the complex intersection of Native American, Hispanic, and white cultures in the broad territory of the Navajo nation. The covers and titles may look spooky but the stories aren’t – they reflect a level of traditional superstition in the culture but don’t give credence to the mythology itself. Anne continued the series after her father died, and she’s as good as he was! (more suggestions below …)

 

Erle Stanley Gardner – (Perry Mason) – Mason is a defense attorney who sleuths out the real solution when police trip over red herrings. A lot of courtroom drama in addition to detective action. Fast moving and intelligent.

Alexander McCall Smith – (Precious Ramotswe) – The adventures of a female private eye in Botswana. Some grown up themes (private eyes do get called to investigate unfaithful spouses and dishonest business partners) but on the whole, a gracious tone; the African culture is very polite and traditional, even as society modernizes. Smith grew up in Africa and writes with love, respect, and gentle humor too. (Smith has several series of novels; we like this series better than his others we’ve sampled)

Rex Stout – (Nero Wolfe) – Wolfe is an eccentric genius who runs a detective agency from his oversized desk chair – and almost never leaves his brownstone house in New York City, where he lives with a private chef, a gardener, thousands of orchids, and his assistant Archie who does all the leg work. Quirky but interesting.

Dorothy Gilman – (Mrs. Emily Pollifax) – Mrs. Pollifax is an elderly widow, bored with her quiet life of garden club meetings in the suburbs … so she volunteers to work for the Central Intelligence Agency. Acting quite naturally as a querilous old-lady tourist, she is able to infiltrate all sorts of hostile countries and evil schemes – to the constant dismay and grudging respect of her handler at the spy agency. Oh, and she knows karate.

These are all favorites of ours … but not all our favorites are favorites of both of us! We’ll share some of our personal (and peculiar) favorites in another post …

Talking to Your Kids about Coronavirus

This and other posts on our site may be affiliate links. If you click on one and make a purchase, we make a small commission and it doesn’t cost you anything extra.

The headlines are pretty alarming, “Authorities Threaten to Kill Pets,” “I Was So Scared,” and “Coronavirus death toll rises above 2000 worldwide.”

Kids are bound to overhear and worry. They’re going to have questions like, “Are we going to get sick? Am I going to die?” How do you answer? What do you say to a child when their concerns are serious and the situation is a little scary to everyone?

We decided a long time ago to always tell our children the truth. Of course, we do that in an age appropriate manner, but we want our kids to know that they can absolutely trust us. We want them to know that they’ll get the real deal from us. That means we’ve talked about all kinds of things with our children that other people might choose to deflect or dissemble over. That’s paid off in the long run. Our older kids tell us that made them always come to us first.

Reassure them that the places they are hearing about are a long way away. Get out a globe and first look at some places they understand. Right about here is where we live. Your Granny lives here in the purple state. Do you remember how long it took us to get to Granny’s house? Yes, a long time. Do you remember when we went to Florida? Right, it took us two days driving. That was a long way away! Now, let’s look at that city they were talking about in the news… 

Encourage them that you will do everything you can to protect them. Yes, I know. There are a few sick people in our country, too. Don’t worry, though. If people in our area get sick, our government has plans to protect people and we do, too. We’ll all stay home for awhile, we’ll wear doctor’s masks when we go out, and we’ll be careful. We know how viruses are spread, so we know what to do! You could talke about the science here.

Ultimately, though, remind them that God is in charge! Let’s read Psalm 139 together. It explains to us that there is no where we can go or any situation we can get in that God can not take care of us. He knew you when you were inside of me and knew even then how long you would live. We don’t have to worry! We can trust God!

And be prepared to share the gospel. Sometimes, kids will tell you that they are afraid they’ll die (often kids who are 6 or 7) or that they’re afraid there isn’t really a God (tweens and preteens). This is a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel with them or answer their doubts and questions. We don’t have to be afraid of death if we’ve trusted God to save us. Do you remember what we’ve talked about that? Let’s look at what the Bible says… Or, I am so glad you told me you were worrying about how do we know there is a God! I have had quesions like that, too, and there are good answers! Let’s read a book together and talk about it… Books like (referral links) Mere Christianity, More Than a Carpenter, The Case for Christ, and Evolution: The Lie are great for answering the normal doubts our tweens and teens have. Addressing your kids’ doubts head on is one of the best things you can do to help them develop an adult faith.

Really, hard conversations with our kids generally have the same four parts:

Give them perspective and practical help.

Reassure them that they are loved and cared for.

Remind them of the love and sovereignty of God.

Point them to salvation in Jesus Christ.

Go ahead and have those hard conversations with your kids. Who knows what the Lord will do in their hearts because of your faithfulness?

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie