Hal Young's Blog, page 5

Join Us for the Homeschool Parenting Summit!

This fall, we’re going to be featured speakers for the Homeschool Parenting Summit, a free event hosted online this October 22-27.

Our interview, “No Longer Little: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope,” will be broadcast Wednesday October 24 at 12:00 noon Central. We’re talking about …

Understanding what is going on during the pre-teen to early teen years
How to transition from parenting as a benevolent dictator to parenting as a trusted advisor
Guiding tweens through emotional and hormonal transitions with love and truth

The whole event is free if you register before October 22 – CLICK HERE to sign up!

What’s more, there are over two dozen well-known speakers and teachers in this event – men and women like Paul Tripp, Davis and Rachel Carman, Norm Wakefield, Lou Priolo, Tedd and Margie Tripp, and Israel Wayne – people we quote regularly, some of them we count as personal friends… and there are so many more!

Topics include: 

Foundations: Start things off right, from your own self-discipline to unity with your spouse on your family’s mission.
Child Training: Reach the heart of your children with Gospel-motivated love, truth, and consistency.
Relationships: Pursue healthy conflict resolution and friendships between parents and siblings.
Challenges: Navigate overwhelm, rebellion, media, and technology with a biblical perspective.
Launch: Leverage the power of discipleship to propel young adults for marriage, work, and a life of service to Christ.

The entire event free if you sign up by October 22nd, and in addition to the video sessions, you’ll also get access to an online vendor hall (with exclusive discounts and freebies), live daily devotions to help you set your heart on God’s plan for parenting, and a private Facebook group to connect with speakers and other attendees.

You’ll walk away from the Homeschool Parenting Summit with renewed hope and faith-filled action strategies for a joyful family that loves God wholeheartedly.

This will be fun, you can enjoy it from the comfort of home, and did we mention it’s free? So why not?

CLICK HERE AND SIGN UP FOR FREE

iGen: Understanding the Next Generation

Jean Twenge, iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy–and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood* (*and What That Means for the Rest of Us) (New York: Atria Books, 2017)

Review by Hal Young

Cultural changes tend to be gradual, incremental things, says Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology who studies generational differences. “I had grown accustomed to line graphs of trends that looked like hills slowly growing into peaks, with cultural change making its mark after a measured rollout that started with a few young people and swelled to many,” she writes.

But around 2012, she noticed trends which fell off the cliff, or suddenly skyrocketed. “I’d never seen anything like it,” she said, in all her study of data back to the 1930s. Abrupt change was something new.

Millennials, welcome the next generation. Some have tagged it Generation Z; Twenge calls it iGen.

This is the group born in 1995 and later – currently 23 and younger, the newest crop of college graduates. The fundamental shift she traces comes back to 2011, the first year a majority of Americans owned smart phones. The next year is when the cultural trends erupted.

Why Should We Care?

Many of us, as intentional Christian parents, aren’t following trends. We’re working on timeless truths and Creation mandates, and often we’re making countercultural choices about our family life and our parenting decisions. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” we affirm with Joshua (Joshua 24:15)

But while we’re not of the world, we are most definitely in that world. These are the new employees at our office. They are the new teachers at the local schools. In a couple of years, they will be the youth pastors and team coaches of our children and the graduate students teaching our older kids. And in fact, this is the “world” that our children are entering. They’ll need to understand it in order to work with it, coexist with it, and evangelize it. It’s their generation, even if they’re not marching in lock step with it.

What’s Distinctive About iGen

Twenge makes a very good case that the digital revolution is responsible for the sudden shift on numerous fronts. She uses data from long-term surveys of high school students and college freshmen in order to compare apples to apples – how did Baby Boomers feel when they were 18, rather than comparing today’s high school senior to his 58-year-old boss.

The author shows how the ability to carry the Internet in your pocket and sleep with it under your pillow has completely changed how young people use their time and build their relationships and world view. For instance, by many measures iGen’ers are growing up more slowly. Today’s high school seniors are significantly less likely to have a driver’s license, to have ever had an after-school or summer job, to have ever gone out on a date, or even to spend any free time away from their parents. Hanging out with friends at the mall? Don’t look for it.

They are less likely than previous generations to have tried alcohol or had significant fights with their parents (or anybody else). They are less likely to have had sex while in high school, and teen pregnancy rates are falling These are good things, right?

Yes, but. Fundamentally, Twenge says, this generation is risk-averse. They are avoiding substance abuse and promiscuity not because they’re immoral (large numbers of these students are turning away from religion, in fact) but because they’re not safe.

And their definition of “safe” has expanded. The average high school senior is spending six hours a day on new media, including two hours on the Internet and more than two hours texting … every day. Their friendships are largely focused on social media and text messaging, which leads to two problems: a lag in real social skills (and awkwardness which leads to a social fearfulness), and immersion in the unforgiving world of messaging. They don’t have schoolyard fights like their parents or grandparents might have experienced; instead, they savage and bully one another online.

That, Twenge explains, is the source of the campus hysteria over controversial speakers or even simple disagreement. To this generation, words are the same as physical violence, and this slow-maturing generation demands college and university officials protect them. Raised by helicopter parents, these students have embraced childhood into their twenties. They are terribly, terribly fearful.

What Should We Do About It?

Twenge is careful to explain that demographic statistics aren’t meant to describe every member of a generation—far from it. But they do explain a culture that individuals need to understand and navigate.

She shares data which clearly show a correlation between time spent on social media and the sharp rise in unhappiness, depression, and even suicide among young people. Her very first recommendation is to hold off giving kids a cell phone until they absolutely need it – and then, give them a flip phone, not an Internet capable smart phone. If they want to be on social media, get an account on your desktop, not on a phone; that way they can coordinate with their friends but not spend hour after hour connected to the beast. Mid-teens are better able to handle the pressure of social media.

Get them moving toward independence, she recommends. Push them to get their driver’s license. Encourage them to spent real-life time with friends, not hanging out online. Help them find a job and earn money of their own to manage. All of these are sound advice.

A final thought

And as a Christian, I would add this – we need to train our kids to stand on God’s Word in spite of the culture around them. This generation is showing signs of accelerating the Millennials’ rejection of religion, and while they may be having less sexual experimentation in real life, they are embracing the sexual revolution internally – widespread acceptance of pornography, the normalization of transgenderism and same-sex marriage, and abortion on demand. This puts a generation on a collision course with Biblical truth.

At the same time, they are increasingly intolerant of opinions that differ from theirs, and hysteria and hatred are replacing simple opposition to viewpoints they dislike. Overreaction is the order of the day.

Our children will need to be truly “wise as serpents and harmless as doves” in the face of very hostile peers (Matthew 10:16) This is not the first time the church has faced widespread cultural rejection, but it may come as a surprise to believers who grew up in an America which, though not uniformly Christian, had been framed by a biblical worldview and schooled in the virtue of tolerance. iGen is about to change that, but Christ’s last word to His disciples should be our hope – “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

Strongly recommended … 

In Christ,

Hal

Listen to episode 211 about Twenge’s book iGen

Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime Video

Despite some early reviews, I was pretty excited to check out the new Amazon Prime Original series, Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan. You see, I love Tom Clancy.

Clancy is one of those authors that stands at the very top of an entire genre. A former insurance agent, his first novel, The Hunt for Red October, was unexpectedly picked up by the Naval Institute Press – the first fiction they ever published. President Ronald Reagan loved it — he called it “the perfect yarn” in an interview, and the book catapulted to the bestseller list. It’s really that good, too. Twelve years and seven books later, Clancy’s Executive Orders may be the very best of the spy/political thrillers–period. I’ve read and reread that book I don’t know how many times and enjoy it every time.

Our older guys have read and loved many of the novels, so they were excited about the new Jack Ryan, too. Most of Clancy’s books are appropriate for older teens, skipping (or even better, paper-clipping) a page or two here or there with too much sex. Even then, I appreciate that the majority of love scenes in his books are between Jack Ryan and his wife and they’re generally not graphic. Clancy has a high view of marriage and depicts Jack and Cathy as a real couple struggling to keep their marriage strong. [Note: Without Remorse is a major exception and is NOT suitable for younger audiences anyone.]

So I had high hopes for Amazon’s Jack Ryan.

Sadly, I can’t recommend it. What a disappointment!

The chief problem is graphic, prurient, even perverted, and completely unnecessary sex scenes. There’s toplessness and complete rear nudity, and very little left to the imagination. If you don’t want to watch thrusting and moaning, you’ll have to give this series a miss. To make it even worse, there’s no point to the sensuality; none of it even advances the plot. It’s utterly gratuitous.

When the actors get their clothes back on, John Krasinski’s portrayal of Jack Ryan is great. He’s likeable and has the right take on it, though a bit lacking in humor and wittiness. That’s on the screenwriters, though. The cinematography is fantastic, believable, and exciting – particularly in the action scenes.

That’s about the extent of the positives, though.

If you love Tom Clancy and the Ryanverse, this series will get on your nerves. The Ebola terrorism plotline of Executive Orders is given a ridiculously brief treatment that leaves you wondering why the screenwriters would even bother. Admiral Greer, the Deputy Director of Intelligence played by James Earl Jones in the Red October movie, is replaced by a foul-mouthed, disgraced CIA agent who was PNG’d (declared persona non grata and expelled from a country) and reluctantly assigned leadership of a small desk-bound department at CIA. Cathy Ryan is no longer a famous eye surgeon but an epidemiologist that doesn’t want a committed relationship. Jack Ryan is still a former Marine and Wall Street insider, but has a doctorate in economics, not history, and there’s no explanation for how a PhD ended up as a lowly financial analyst at Langley who moonlights as an action hero on demand. It doesn’t ring true at all. To cap it all, there is no John Clark and that’s sad.

The series gives a lavishly sympathetic portrayal of a mass murderer. The back story of the terrorist leader occupies a significant part of the first season, strongly suggesting that the West “forced” him to become a terrorist by attacking his homeland then not welcoming him into French society with adequate warmth. There’s lots of emphasis on his love for his brother and son, his fairness to his followers, and his distaste for killing women and children — whom he slaughters by the hundreds, regardless.

Then there are American soldiers who are either wracked by guilt or totally without conscience. A drone pilot becomes disillusioned with his job so he takes off for the Middle East (as if it were just that simple) to make reparations. Pilots who aren’t overwhelmed by remorse are portrayed as callous, not as professional soldiers who are committed to fighting evil.

The whole thing was a frustrating disappointment. I was so looking forward to a new treatment of these beloved characters. And the visuals are amazing–you really feel like you are living it. But the political slant and the explicit sex are just too much. There were SO many possibilities here, SO much opportunity – great stories, talented actors and crew, the money to do it right … and this is what we get.

I wouldn’t let my teens watch it and you probably ought not to watch it yourself. I’m sad to say that. Not recommended.

Your friend,

Melanie

 

 

Five Reasons to be Glad That You Didn’t Drop off the Kids at School

It’s that time of year when your social media feed fills up with pictures of cute children wearing shiny new backpacks and carrying shiny new lunch boxes and looking oh so happy. First-day-of-school pictures can make you question your plans to homeschool, particularly if you’re new to it or you had a hard year last year. This year even my friends are struggling since several prominent, long-time homeschoolers have enrolled their kids in a bricks-and-mortar school. It can make you wonder, “Am I really doing the right thing? Would my kids be better off in school? Will they be sorry one day that I homeschooled them?”

We’ve homeschooled our eight from the beginning. Four of ours have graduated so far (and are doing well!), but every once in a while, I still have pangs. I find myself wondering if it’s still the best thing for our kids. Our twenty-four years of experience, though, bring to mind all the reasons why we should be glad we didn’t drop the kids off at school…

Some reasons are obvious, silly, and fun: You can wear your pajamas all day. No one has to ever ride a school bus. You can have leftovers for lunch. You can have school in a tree. Or at the lake. Parent-teacher conferences happen in the bathroom. The principal is in love with the teacher and that’s okay. We all love to laugh about those things, but there are five big reasons we ought to keep in mind whenever we wonder if we really ought to be homeschooling.

In homeschooling, no child is left behind or bored out of their mind. In second grade, I was in an experimental school that let kids go as far through the curriculum as they could. I finished the sixth grade material before Christmas, then our family moved to a rural school district that did no such thing. I spent the next four years trying not to lose my mind. We’ve had precocious kids and struggling learners. All of them got exactly what they needed from year to year.

 

School conforms to your family instead of your family to school. I remember desperately trying to finish big assignments on days my family had big events or wanting (sometimes needing) to travel while we were in school. When you homeschool, you can plan light days or even take days off when your family has doctor appointments, travel, or other interruptions. You have the flexibility to schedule school time so that neither schoolwork or your family have to suffer.

Quality time is no substitute for quantity time. It’s all well and good to plan to spend time talking to your child, but what if they don’t feel like talking in the twenty minutes you’ve scheduled? They will have questions and doubts and teachable moments and emotional crisis. When you homeschool, those opportunities come up when you’re there to field their questions. You are there when hard topics come up.

Discipleship happens. Jesus said, “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.” (Luke 6:40, ESV)  Your children will follow the pattern of the people who spend the most time in teaching and training them. Would it be better for their thinking to be formed by a changing series of strangers assigned by the district, or by yourself – so you can lead them towards Christ? Homeschooling allows you to talk to your children about the things of the Lord all day long, in the regular course of life. They get to see you interact with business people, angry neighbors, government officials, your church family. They watch how you handle frustration, jubilation, disappointment, surprise. They get to be with an adult Christian 24/7.

When your children leave home, relationship is all you’ll have. Homeschooling is hard–no doubt about it. Your kids are with you all day. There aren’t many breaks and they can really get on your nerves. Listen, though. That’s good. It forces you to work through issues. Sibling rivalry has to be dealt with. Attitudes have to be addressed. It means you have to discipline and disciple or go crazy. It means you are moved to maintain good relationships just to survive. And when all is said and done, relationship is all that matters when your kids are grown – their relationship with God and their relationship with their siblings and with you. Homeschooling makes those more likely to be what they need to be.

Don’t be discouraged, mamas, when you see folks posting those adorable back to school pictures. It doesn’t matter how happy they look on day one, what matters is what things are like when it’s all over!

Your friend,

Melanie

Giveaway: Flippers

Flippers is a moving book by a young friend of ours. Asa Tittle is a bright seven-year-old homeschooler who lives in Little Rock, Arkansas. On April 27th, 2014, the Tittle home was destroyed by an EF4 tornado, killing Asa’s father Rob and his two sisters Tori and Rebekah. Asa learned to process his grief through storytelling of a delightful platypus named Flippers with hopes to encourage others to trust God in times of trial.

 

 

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Giveaway: The Organized Homeschool Life

The Organized Homeschool Life book is a practical guide for achieving homeschool success, even if you’re not naturally organized. As you complete the weekly challenges, you will save time and money so you can enjoy teaching your children.

The Organized Homeschool Life provides you with:

-Short, daily missions that don’t feel like a burden

-Help with creating systems that will get and keep you organized

-Practical suggestions for building stronger relationships with the Lord, family, and friends

-Reminders to prepare for holidays, celebrations, and homeschool tasks at just the right time

-Organizing ideas for all the areas of your life: church, hobbies, business, & more

 

 

 

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Giveaway: Boot Camp 9-12 Masterclass for Parents

The preteen years are some of the most challenging of all for both parents and children. Boot Camp 9-12 gives you what you need to handle it in a godly way and personal access to Hal & Melanie to ask questions in the live sessions. Now for parents of boys and girls!

Do you ever wish you could just sit down with a couple who has raised godly kids and pick their brains? Ask them all your questions? Now you can! In Boot Camp 9-12, we’ll meet together for five lively, funny, powerful and practical sessions that will take the fear out of the coming years and give you the tools to help your guys and girls navigate these dangerous waters safely. We’ll be interacting with you, too, answering your questions live! That’s right, you’ll be able to get real, personal encouragement and help!

You can join an exclusive group of parents of preteens that want to lay a good foundation for the teen years and join us live for this Raising Real Men online class series to get you geared up to make these years a blessing and not a nightmare.

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Giveaway: DashFire Man

We’re an entrepreneurial family, so we get pretty excited when our progeny start their own businesses. Some of you may have heard our son Sam speak at conferences about his struggle with dyslexia. He’s at college now, studying entrepreneurship, and working with the college’s venture lab to get his business ideas translated into actual businesses. DashFire is his brainchild.

DashFire is men’s skincare company — for manly men — established by Sam and his older brother, Caleb. We asked, “Why did you name it DashFire?

Well, the answer is that many years ago in the days of pirates and mighty sailing vessels, the term DashFire was often used to describe a man who was a true man – strong, courageous, and daring; the sort of fearless leader that the men would follow to the very ends of the earth. Men whose bravery was seemingly mixed with a little bit of recklessness, were said to have a dash of fire running through their veins. Eventually, this term got shortened to DashFire. We believe that every man has it in him to become a DashFire man, if they try. As men, it is easy to put off for tomorrow what we know deep down we should do today. It’s easy to wait to talk to your boss about a raise, or talk to that pretty girl, or even buy some grooming product, just because it’s a little daunting. Our slogan was written for the men out there who are tired of waiting for tomorrow. They want to become a DashFire Man because for them, “It’s Time to Face the World!”

Enter to win a 4oz bottle of DashFire Men’s Face Scrub and sign up to follow these guys for manly inspiration for all your guys!

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Giveaway: Philosophy Adventure

Can you imagine a philosophy curriculum that was as enjoyable as reading a magazine? That’s Philosophy Adventure! Our teens loved it!

Philosophy Adventure™ is designed to help students 6th-12th grade cultivate and defend a biblical worldview by teaching them how to write skillfully, think critically, and speak articulately as they explore the history of ideas.

 

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Giveaway: Mama’s Refill membership

 

A full year’s access to all Doorposts Bible studies

Busy moms will be refreshed and encouraged by Pam Forster’s 10-minute-a-day Bible studies. She’ll even help you make time to study!

Enjoy one full year of access to all existing Bible studies plus any new ones in 2018
Track your progress with our online course system
Bonus resources for each study
Study along with our Facebook community (a different study focus each month)

A $44.95 value … click here to find out more!

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