Hal Young's Blog, page 3

Valentine’s Day Freebie

Sometimes, romantic holidays suffer from expectations so high that we’re easily offended, drawn into arguments, or just end up sullen and irritable. Who wants romance to turn into disappointment?

That’s why it’s helped us to have a plan. We’re so tired and distracted that if we don’t plan the time we have together, it tends to fall apart. One of the things we’ve done the past few years is to try to steer our conversation into paths that allow us to build emotional intimacy, share our hearts, and remind ourselves of sweet memories.

To that end, we’ve put together a printable that will give you some great conversation starters. You can print them on 8.5 x 11 inch cardstock or paper or print on business card stock, which you can find with the paper and labels in the office section of the local discount store. (Such as Avery 8871 or 28371.) When you get them all cut out, they’ll be business card-sized and can be easily tucked in your pocket to take to a restaurant,

These can be used by married couples, but also by couples in relationships before marriage, but they’ll need to pull out some cards on the second and third page that pertain to marriage. Keep reading to the bottom to download!

Keep it positive! There’s a time for criticism and a romantic evening is NOT IT. This is a time to build each other up so that you have the relationship investment that you can talk about the hard stuff when the time is right.

Enjoy the good stuff. Every marriage has issues that need to be worked on, even when you’ve been married for decades. The strong marriages, though, are strong in all the aspects of marriage – romance, yes, but also companionship and friendship. Having good times together helps a lot.

Can’t go out and wondering what to do? Here are some ideas!

Want Valentine’s Day cards that aren’t sappy or smart alec? Download these lovely free cards based on classic love poetry!

Too tired for Valentine’s Day? Download our workshop, Romance for the Exhausted free here!

Got boys who think Valentine’s Day is icky? This post may give you some good ideas!

Have fun — enjoy!

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

What To Watch (Out For) During The Big Game

How would you like to earn $186,000 per second? All you have to do is sell one 30-second commercial break during the 2020 Super Bowl telecast. That’s what the Fox Network is charging – $5.6 million per half-minute.

Now, if you were going to spend that much money … you’d probably want to make a big impression with it. Your 30-seconds would not only have to feature your product and company, but make a hit with the viewers – something funny, exciting, puzzling, or <ahem> edgy. Something to stand out.

It’s that last category that’s always worried us as parents, and why we keep the remote close at hand when the commercial break comes. And that’s why we try every year to give you a quick preview of what you might want to see or avoid while the big game is on!

Ads I Liked

New York Life talks about the four “loves” in the Greek language, and why agape is the most important
Budweiser‘s ad about “typical American” behavior contrasts negative stereotypes with actions which are admirable, like “Showing up uninvited” is a young soldier surprising his grandfather in a nursing home.
If you appreciate regional accents, you’ll smile at Hyundai‘s ad for their “Smart Park” feature, as described in the narrow streets of Boston (“Smaht Pahk” – “It’s wicked smaht! A ghost cah!”).
MC Hammer is the spokesman for Cheetos … because when you’ve been eating them, “U Can’t Touch This”
Get the tissues … an elderly man using Google AI to catalog memories of his deceased wife

Ads That May Prompt Discussion

Sabra hummus ad features two drag queens
Pop Tart‘s spokesman is a gay host from “Queer Eye” who acts stereotypically
Two ads from Microsoft and Secret celebrate women in football (one of the 49er’s coaching staff is female).
One of the NFL ads focuses on a police shooting of a young black man
The ad for Hershey‘s “Reeses Take 5” candy bar, describing clueless people, actually shows a man with his head stuck in part of his anatomy. I don’t want to explain that to my young daughter.
Pringle’s and Mt Dew are just … disturbing
Donald Trump and Michael Bloomberg have campaign ads


All of these have been pre-released and can be previewed on YouTube and other sites … just search “super bowl commercials 2020” for links! And go watch that New York Life commercial first.

Interesting Books 2019

This post may contain affiliate links. When you use them to purchase, we receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.

I’m a pretty avid reader. It’s part of my daily routine, and longer periods on vacation. Several years ago I started keeping a list of books I’d finished during the year; to be honest, I was concerned at the time that wasn’t reading much beyond magazines and newspaper articles, so I wanted to challenge myself.

So this year, it looks like I’ll have about forty-eight finished – everything from humor by P.G. Wodehouse to a 700-page biography of George Washington. Without trying to choose the Most Significant and Impressive Books from the year, here is a list of several that I found interesting and you might, too. These are roughly in the order I read them, with many unmentioned books in between.

And you’ll quickly see these are not new in 2019 – several are classics in their genre. But they made part of my reading stack in 2019, so here they are:

Pat Frank, Alas, Babylon – What would it be like to survive a nuclear holocaust? This book is a classic of the Cold War genre, written before missiles replaced long-range bombers as the strategic weapon of choice. The story follows events in a small town in central Florida, bracketed by strikes on larger cities and military targets but spared the effects of direct blast and fallout. It’s a dark, sad story – and yet, it suggests that life would continue and resilient people could find a way to live productive lives, even though they may look more like a century ago than modern times.

John Ringo, Live Free or Die – I read a lot of science fiction in high school but grew tired of the humanistic worldview after I came to the Lord in college. However, this book had a refreshing twist – it proposes that free market economics and conservative/libertarian principles could even apply if Earth found itself colonized by competing offworld civilizations. Melanie and I laughed at the idea, “Republicans in Spaaaaace!” but really, it’s got a lot more nuance than you might expect from the genre. A good read.

Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death – Written in the late nineties, Postman’s book examines how each new medium of communication may open the door for wider connections, but at the same time change the sort of information that can be communicated. Why are movies so different from the books they’re drawn from? Why does television demand compelling video rather than thoughtful discourse? While Postman’s classic appeared just before the dawn of the World Wide Web, it’s easy to extend his argument to the explain the effects of website and podcast culture on public interaction.

Lee Strobel, The Case for Christ – Strobel was a thoroughly secular investigative journalist who was startled by his wife’s unexpected conversion to Christianity. In an effort to debunk, or at least to understand, what faith was offering to his wife, Strobel undertook a months’-long personal quest to interview leading teachers, scientists, and theologians, to ask them the hardest questions he could place about Christ and His teaching. This is a compelling book of a honest seeker’s journey, and yes, Strobel came to believe after the evidence overwhelmed his skepticism. We listened to the audiobook as a family and it was time well spent.

Ellis Peters, One Corpse Too Many – I enjoy mystery novels and I love history, so Ellis Peters’ series featuring Brother Cadfael in 13th century England has both things going for it. Cadfael is a retired soldier of fortune and Crusader who took vows and entered the monastery in mid-life. In these books, he studies the lives and misfortunes of those around him and uncovers the secrets and motives that drive life and death in a turbulent period. I’ve read several of the series and this particular book may be my favorite so far. (Keep scrolling…)

P. G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves – Bertram Wooster is a well-to-do young gentleman in London, an admitted goofball who finds himself dependent on the insight and creativity of his valet, Jeeves. Bertie and his similarly flaky friends wander through a succession of misunderstandings, overbearing aunts, star-crosssed infatuations, and self-inflicted (and embarrassing) disasters among the aristocracy of 1920’s London and New York. Jeeves, the perfect butler, is always the last resort for resolving the tangled messes they create. This book is the introduction to Jeeves and the dawn of Bertie’s relationship with a servant who actually manages his master. Wodehouse may be an acquired taste (not unlike a taste for Moe, Larry, and Curly) but I enjoy his well-educated slapstick for bedtime relaxation.

Tim Keller, Every Good Endeavor – I borrowed this from my son John who is a member of New City Fellows, a Christian study program for young professionals – much like the population of Tim Keller’s church in Manhattan. Keller points out that the Judeo-Christian ethic is one of the only systems of religion or philosophy which says that work is both a blessing and a duty – a positive good thing, not to be disdained or avoided. But how do you integrate faith into your daily routine, when your occupation isn’t a pulpit ministry or some kind of explicitly Christian organization? Like Francis Schaeffer, Keller says that every sort of honest work can and ought to be done for the glory of God – maybe especially if it’s not a Bible-centered context. A very good and thought-provoking book.

Kevin DeYoung, Just Do Something – I read this a few years ago but with many life changes happening to our children – finishing college, starting careers, pursuing marriage and parenthood – I thought it would be good to review, Of course, everyone wants to know God’s will for their lives, and how to find it for the big concerns of life – where to go to school, what sort of job to take, who to marry and when, and so forth. DeYoung talks about the different Biblical meanings of “God’s will” and our tendency to wish for prophetic guidance or special revelation, rather than trusting God to manage the unknown. The results belong to Him, while He gives us the principles and wisdom we need in order to move forward in faith. A short book but very good.

Which of the books you read this year were the best?

In His service,

Hal

 

Support our ministry by shopping here! Check out Craftsman Crate, the subscription box that builds your skills, our Character-Building Audiobook Library, and all kinds of gifts, gear, and family-friendly resources. Click here!

Access our Annual Gift Guide for Boys for ideas, too!

Everyone’s Happy Sale!

WOW!! We are having our best Christmas season ever here at Raising Real Men! We are so grateful…it takes a lot of stress out of the time between now and our conference speaking season. And it’s not over yet – order by December 20th for Christmas Delivery.

That gratefulness is making us feel generous, so we’re having yet another sale! We’re calling it the Everyone’s Happy Sale because we’re happy that the ministry is doing well, you’ll be happy that you can get great deals on gifts you can feel great about giving them, and best of all, they’ll be happy when they open those boxes!  Check it out…

 

ALL our amazing rubberband guns that shoot 12 rubberbands without reloading are 15-35% off! (And so are wooden swords!)

 

 

ALL of our incredibly durable training and practice swords and knives are 15-35% off!

 

Our Character-Building Audiobook Library allows you to get all this literature, the books our adult sons say influenced them, at half price… You can teach history and give your kids something to aim for while you’re in the van!

 

 

Craftsman Crate, the subscription box that builds your skills, is exploding Take $10 off your first subscription with coupon code NewCrate10. We’ll even ship in a plain white box this month so our cool box doesn’t give away the surprise!

We have absolutely LOVED our craftsman crate subscription! We have gotten a year’s worth of boxes and continue to be impressed. They are well thought out, easy to follow, and my son now has his own collection of real tools and art supplies. We highly recommend these. – Subscriber-posted Review

 

 

Past Craftsman Crates  —  We’ve released all twelve of this year’s crates for individual purchase, but supplies are limited and one has already run out unless we can get more! PLUS, we’re releasing a new box today — Candlemaking! Just in time for Christmas gifts, too, if you need something to keep them busy during the break.

 

 

By popular demand, this week we’re still offering 50% off Boot Camp 9-12, our master class for parents of tweens to young teens, now available in DVD as well as live and recorded classes! PreFlight, for teens and their parents, and Boyhood Boot Camp for parents of boys eight and under are on sale, too, as are all our workshop downloads!

 

FREE PHYSICAL GIFTS

with Purchase

(While supplies last! If we run out, we’ll substitute something of equal value, though.)

 

Free Survival Compass Key Chain with a $25 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeCompass19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the keychain is up to $25).

Free Training Knife with a $60 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeKnife19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the training knife is up to $60).

Thank you for supporting our ministry! It really does make all the difference. If you’d rather just contribute instead of shop, you can head over here to do that (and we’ll love you for it, too!).

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

 

It’s A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

A review of the new Tom Hanks movie

In 1998, an investigative reporter for Esquire magazine was assigned to do a profile of the TV legend, Mister Rogers. That reporter had a well-earned reputation for keen, biting cynicism, and the magazine’s editors thought it might be interesting to have their most hard-edged reporter writing a puff piece about the nicest man on television.

The encounter changed the reporter forever.

The 400-word assignment – that’s about a typewritten page – turned into an eight-thousand-word cover story, and the new film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is freely-adapted from that article.

The Story as Told

In the film, reporter Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys) is tasked with the interview, and shows up at the television studio with a battered face – because he and his estranged father had a fistfight at his sister’s wedding the weekend before. When the kindly Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) asks how he got hurt, Vogel pretends it was a softball injury.

But through several meetings with Rogers, Vogel discovers two things. First, that Fred Rogers off-camera is the exact same person as Mr. Rogers in his Neighborhood. Second, that he can’t really keep secrets from this strangely intense man. Through the course of their developing friendship, Vogel finds his interviews turn into counseling sessions, where Rogers turns the attention away from himself and focuses on the hurts and frustrations of the reporter instead.

And through the encouragement of the children’s TV host, Vogel finds a path to forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing – in his very problematic grown-up relationships.

Fact and fiction

As Hollywood does, the story as filmed isn’t really a documentary. Many of the events shown happened in different circumstances – though they did happen. The actual reporter’s father was similar to the screen version in some respects, but they never had the broken relationship central to the film story.  To be honest, most of the Vogel family in the film is fictitious – as is the Vogel name (the actual reporter is named Tom Junod, and while he reviewed the screenplay and loved the film, understandably suggested the name change).

But if you read the original Esquire article from 1998 – link below, though there is a language advisory – you see the tone of the film. A worldly, ironic, unbelieving journalist was totally overcome by a quiet man of prayer, whose foundational message was “Remember, you were a child once,” and the need for kindness and gratitude in all our lives. That much is truth.

Things to consider and discuss

We attended a preview screening several weeks before the film’s release, and before the lights went down, the host warned us, “This is not a children’s movie.” There are a number of very grown-up themes; in fact, you might say one theme is that grown-ups often carry significant hurt from their childhood, and it influences everything in their adult lives. Vogel’s adulterous father abandoned his wife and family when she had terminal cancer, and his callousness scarred the younger Vogel for life. It spills over into the reporter’s own family life, and you see his marriage struggling because of fears and truth issues that childhood betrayal caused.

But the overarching message is that grace, redemption, and restoration are possible – though we may need the faith of a child to embrace them.

What if you didn’t grow up with Mr. Rogers?

Fred Rogers went into television to try and provide positive, uplifting programming – as a reaction to the negative things he saw on early TV. Some of us steered our children away from television in their early years, or maybe we ourselves were re-directed that way. Can viewers who didn’t grow up with a daily visit to the Neighborhood and the Land of Make Believe gain much from the film?

Absolutely! The message is clear and moving, even if you’re not a long-time fan. Of course  unfamiliar viewers won’t have previous associations with the scale model neighborhood that draws Vogel’s attention (and expands to a model world, in the transitional scenes). They might not recognize the regular puppet characters like X the Owl, Lady Elaine Fairchild, and King Friday XIII. Most of all, they might have trouble believing such an other-worldly person like Mr. Rogers could actually exist – though his adult sons assured the media the person Tom Hanks portrayed on camera was the dad they saw at home, and Tom Junod’s recent articles show that Fred Rogers’ influence still shapes his daily life.

So while it’s not a kid’s movie, those of us who used to be kids and still feel the child’s need for love, encouragement, and reassurance, will find A Beautiful Day makes for a very good evening together. We recommend it!

Stories you might find interesting:

“Can You Say … Hero?” – Esquire, 11/98

The original 1998 article by Tom Junod – note, some profanity

“What’s Fact and What’s Fiction in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” – Slate, 11/21/19

“Mr Rogers Changed Tom Junod’s Life” – Esquire, 12/19

Tom Junod, the original of the movie’s Lloyd Vogel, talks to Esquire about how his relationship with Fred Rogers made a difference to him

“My Friend Mr. Rogers” – The Atlantic, 12/19

Junod writes about his friendship with Fred Rogers, the new surge of interest in his message of kindness and acceptance in a world of growing incivility, and what Junod thinks Rogers’ real message is – a call to prayer.

Christmas Savings Continue!

We love Christmas so much! The sights, the smells, the flavors all remind us of the joy of the Incarnation – when God became flesh and lived among us so that He could become the sacrifice for our sins.

We love giving gifts because we’ve been given the greatest gift of all – salvation! We love helping you give good gifts to your children and your family, too. We’re grateful, too, when you shop at our site because it keeps our ministry going. We hope this sale will be a blessing to your family! Keep scrolling for details…

EXTENDED until 12/9: 50% off All Downloads and Online Master Classes

our super-popular Boot Camp 9-12, for parents of tweens to young teens
PreFlight, our course to help parents prepare their teens for adulthood
all of our Character-Building Audiobooks,
our Parenting and Family Life eBooks, including the new No Longer Little audiobook, and the newly revised Raising Real Men!
our Holiday Books,
our Historical Fiction,
and even our Workshop Downloads!

 

30% off all Character-Building Audiobooks we publish! And our Character-Building Library is even more heavily discounted!

Craftsman Crate, the subscription box that builds your skills, is the hottest subscription box for teens out there. Take $10 off your first subscription month with coupon code NewCrate10.

We have absolutely LOVED our craftsman crate subscription! We have gotten a year’s worth of boxes and continue to be impressed. They are well thought out, easy to follow, and my son now has his own collection of real tools and art supplies. We highly recommend these. – Subscriber-posted Review

(Keep scrolling, more below!)

 

 

Discounts on Amazing Gifts!

 

Rubberband Guns that shoot 12 rubberbands without reloading

Training Swords and training knives are incredibly popular among teens and preteens

 

Past Craftsman Crates  —  We’ve released all twelve of this year’s crates for individual purchase, but supplies are limited!

 

 

We have 24 totally new products, too, including…

The No Longer Little audiobook – it’s our award-winning book on parenting tweens, preteens, and young teens. If your child has climbed on an emotional rollercoaster and invited you to join them, don’t get a ticket for that ride. Get this book, instead!

Boot Camp 9-12, our master class for parents of tweens, preteens, and young teens, is now available in DVD format, for those that struggle with streaming video!

and lots and lots more!

 

FREE PHYSICAL GIFTS

with Purchase

 

Free Survival Compass Key Chain with a $25 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeCompass19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the keychain is up to $25).

Free Training Knife with a $60 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeKnife19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the training knife is up to $60).

Thank you for supporting our ministry!

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

 

Welcome to our Black Friday Blast

Welcome, friends! One of the things we are most grateful for this Thanksgiving week is…you! We love meeting you at conferences and online and hearing about what God is doing in your life. We’re grateful, too, when you shop at our site because it keeps our ministry going. We hope this sale will be a blessing to your family! Keep scrolling for details…

50% off All Downloads and Online Master Classes

our super-popular Boot Camp 9-12, for parents of tweens to young teens, including the new DVDs
PreFlight, our course to help parents prepare their teens for adulthood
all of our Character-Building Audiobooks,
our Parenting and Family Life Books, including the new No Longer Little audiobook, and the newly revised Raising Real Men!
our Holiday Books,
our Historical Fiction,
and even our Workshop Downloads!

 

40% off all Character-Building Audiobooks we publish!

Craftsman Crate, the subscription box that builds your skills, is the hottest subscription box for teens out there. Take 10% off any length subscription with coupon code crateholiday. (Keep scrolling, more below!)

 

ALL THIS ON SALE

 Rubberband Guns that shoot 12 rubberbands without reloading
Training Swords beloved of teens everywhere
Past Craftsman Crates
We have 24 totally new products, too!

FREE PHYSICAL GIFTS

with Purchase

Free Survival Compass Key Chain with a $25 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeCompass19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the keychain is up to $25).

Free Training Knife with a $60 order! Click here to add it to your cart (the coupon FreeKnife19 will be automatically applied as soon as your order besides the training knife is up to $60).

Thank you for supporting our ministry!

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

 

Our Heat is Out so the Sale is On!

Sometimes it rains and sometimes it pours. Other days, it’s just cold!

Sadly, we arrived home to find out that our heater was out in temperatures approaching record lows. Ugh. We had the repair guy out and we are looking at a LOT of money. We just don’t have it — all our funds are out in inventory for Christmas sales. That means we need to sell some great stuff quickly!

I’ve spent the day marking down our great gifts to really great prices!

Craftsman Crate, the subscription box that builds your skills. Use coupon code friendcratedeal to get 10% off any subscription!







Awesome past crates from Craftsman Crate including leather working, glass etching, and more. Great stuff!







Character-Building Audiobooks and Literature, the ones our adult kids say shaped who they became. All Sets are 50% off!







Gear for Imaginative Play – rubberband guns and wooden swords all discounted!







Gear for Tweens and Teens – training swords, knives, and survival gear are at the lowest prices EVER!







Christ-Centered Holiday Books and other great resources for parents. Use coupon code  ParentsToo  to get 10% off everything here.

And if you just want to contribute directly, God bless you, click here to support Raising Real Men with a one-time gift or an ongoing one.

OH! Flat Rate Priority Mail Shipping is $10 per order for nearly everything!

Please share — it would be a big help to us.

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

Join us for a free family relationship builder!

Do the relationships inside your home feel stormy?

 

When Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, he recognized problems in the church – dishonesty, anger, and bitterness, foolish or coarse talk (Ephesians 4-5). Sometimes we find the same things in our families! But God’s grace and power can equip us to walk “as children of light,” making the best use of the time, giving thanks, doing the will of God from the heart (Ephesians 5) and leading our children to do the same.

This month, we’re part of the Homeschool Family Relationships Summit, a free online event October 14-19, 2019. The focus is just what we try to emphasize – applying Biblical principles to the 21st century family in a practical way.

There are over 25 speakers including ourselves – some of our favorite parenting and family life teachers like Tedd and Margy Tripp, Davis and Rachel Carman, Israel and Brooke Wayne, Ginger Hubbard, and many more. Video session will discuss a full range of family issues –

Biblical Relationships
Marriage
Parent/Child Relationships
Sibling & Peer Relationships
Your Family & the World

The entire event is FREE if you sign up by October 14th, and in addition to the video sessions, you’ll also get access to an online exhibit hall (with exclusive discounts and freebies), daily devotions to help you set your heart on the Lord, and a private Facebook group to connect with speakers and other attendees.

By God’s grace, you’ll walk away from the Homeschool Family Relationships Summit with a fresh start for Christ-centered, healthy relationships right in your home.

Don’t wait!

[ CLICK HERE to learn more and register for free (for a limited time only!)]

^^^ Affiliate link which helps our ministry and doesn’t cost you a thing! ^^^

Avengers: Endgame – All the Feels

After the crushing defeat of Infinity War, Avengers: Endgame takes us on a rollercoaster of emotionally-charged scenes leading to a resolution you won’t soon forget.

Endgame opens in the moments before Thanos uses the Infinity Stones to snap away half of the inhabitants of the universe. Hawkeye and his family are enjoying some precious family time outdoors when everything suddenly changes. Bring along some tissues, because your heart will break with Hawkeye’s before the opening title even appears.

Before you can recover, the scene shifts to the ship marooned in space where Tony Stark and Nebula face death as their oxygen gives out. They have given up on being rescued and Tony has just recorded one last message for Pepper when hope appears in an unexpected form.

With Captain Marvel’s help, the Avengers that remain come together and purpose to find Thanos and use the stones to bring everyone back. When they finally track him down, though, they learn that there is truly no hope at all of restoring the former world.

Five years later, everyone has found a place of sorts. Under Natasha’s leadership, some of the heroes are trying to protect what’s left of the world. Steve is leading a grief support group and encouraging people to move on. Others seem to have lost their bearings in the wake of so much lost. It’s not very attractive, but it is the new normal.

Remember the tragic mid-credits scene at the end of Ant-Man and the Wasp when Scott is trapped in the Quantum Realm because the Pym family disappears? In Endgame, a rat crawls across the futuristic controls of that same van abandoned in a junk yard and activates Dr. Pym’s device. Suddenly, Ant-Man is pulled back from the Quantum Realm with no idea what has happened while he’s been gone. When he finds out, it gives him a crazy idea.

“I get emails from a raccoon. Nothing sounds crazy anymore.” – Natasha

It’s a plan that could succeed in bringing everyone home or it could destroy everything good that is left.

Concerns

Sadly, the screenwriter include some completely unnecessary profanity and what is worse, they have Captain America voicing it. It bears discussion whether that is what we would expect from his character. There is little sexual content save a couple of coarse references to Captain America’s backside. There is a lot of violence, of course, but most of it is not horrifying or disturbing, other than emotional fallout from the results of the violence. There is a brief, easy to miss reference to a same sex date in the grief support group.

Endgame has themes of redemption, heroism, and sacrificial love. It has ecstatic highs and demoralizing lows. It is, without a doubt, the most emotionally-laden film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Brilliant successes become agonizing defeats, then victory is snatched from the teeth of disaster, only to be found to exact a heavy price. It’s a wild ride, but it ends in a very satisfying way. This movie is about a thousand times better than Infinity War. We enjoyed it a lot. It’s appropriate for teens, quite intense for preteens (use your judgment), and too much for children, in our opinion.

Keep scrolling (after you watch the movie!) for questions you can discuss with your kids.

Your friend,

Melanie

 

 

Discussion Questions (SPOILER ALERT)

What are the major themes of Avengers:Endgame and where do you most clearly see those themes in the film?

Heroism is the most obvious theme and we see it stated pretty plainly when Thor’s mother says, “The measure of a hero is how well they succeed at being who they are… Now, you go and be the man you are meant to be.” Captain America’s pep talk just before they travel to the past for the Time Heist is pretty clear, too: “This is the fight of our lives and we are going to win. No matter what it takes.” Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Captain Marvel, and all the rest of the heroes are made for this moment.

A theme of sacrificial love flows through the movie, as well. Tony and Pepper are discussing whether or not he should use his insight into the way to provide a sort of time-GPS. Tony is afraid to risk the happiness he’s found with her and their daughter, but Pepper realizes, “You will never be able to rest, Tony,” while others are hurting. At the end, when Tony has given everything, Pepper reprises this thought with, “We’re going to be okay, Tony. You can rest now.”

Redemption is a powerful theme woven throughout Endgame. Natasha (Black Widow) finds Clint (Hawkeye) gone rogue in an attempt to assuage his grief with vengeance on evil. “What I want, you can’t give me,” says Clint. Natasha replies, “Killing all these people isn’t going to bring your family back,” but Clint cries out in despair, “Don’t. Don’t give me hope!” Natasha answers, “I am sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner.” Later, when they realize that one of them must die in order for them to acquire the Soul Stone, they each struggle to be the one to sacrifice themselves. Clint says, “Natasha, you know what I’ve done; you know what I’ve become.” She responds, “Well, I don’t judge people on their biggest mistakes.” Their competition to be the one to sacrifice themselves continues to the last moment, making it very clear that they had both overcome the evil in their pasts and had become real, selfless heroes. It would have been ever so much better if when the willing sacrifice was made that Natasha was restored – then or later by the stones, but it is still a good redemption story.

Another lovely example of the redemption theme is the story arc of Nebula. By the opening of Endgame, she has planted herself firmly on the right side and desperately wants to undo what Thanos has done. Then she meets herself in the past – her angry, bitter, ruthless self who takes advantage of her and tries to kill her in disgust at what she’s become. This plot line comes to a head in the midst of the final battle for the gauntlet when Gamora questions the good Nebula about their relationship. Nebula admits, “I tried to kill you several times, but then we became friends. And finally, we became sisters.” When Gamora turns to the bad old Nebula and encourages her to turn on their father, Thanos, Nebula says, despairingly, “I am this,” but Gamora refuses to accept it and reaches out her hand, saying, “Come on. We can stop him.” When Nebula takes her hand, she signals her redemption.

How does the plot and theme of Endgame stack up against a Biblical worldview?

J.R.R. Tolkein, dean of the modern epic, once said something like this: “Every good story bears elements of the great story.” That’s certainly true of Endgame. The themes of heroism, sacrificial love, and redemption are Biblical themes, but this movie is a pale shadow of the truth. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, redemption is not complete. All things are NOT made new. Thanos’ plan to make the universe over involves the slaughter of every living thing. The heroes who die in the end stay dead.  In our universe, though, redemption is beautiful. The mighty Hero, the God who gives up his life for us all comes back to life again when evil is defeated on the cross. When Christ returns, He will make ALL things new and He will wipe away all our tears.  Read the last chapter of Revelation and see what a real new world will look like.

Did you notice any plot holes, weird science moments, or Easter eggs that referred back to another movie?

This film was full of all of these! Here’s a plot hole: How was Captain Marvel able to destroy an entire spaceship with her face, but she couldn’t do anything about the fleshly armies that came out of it?

You can take your pic of weird science moments. As one of our daughters mentioned, “It’s strange how the lightning braided Thor’s hair.”

Here’s a reference to one of the earlier movies: In Civil War, Tony was devastated that he’d never been able to say goodbye to his father or let him know how much he’d meant to him. In Endgame, Tony gets to meet his father and share a bit of his heart.

In an interesting hat tip to the comics where in one odd storyline Cap is with Hydra, in Endgame, Cap pretends to be part of Hydra to get the stone away from them.

What are your favorite moments?

Here are some of ours: Tony with his daughter, Cap and Tony making up, Hulk and Dr. Banner co-existing, Cap proving his worthiness by calling Thor’s hammer, when Cap calls out, “Avengers, assemble!”, the banging at end of the credits which may be hearkening back to the beginning of the whole series with Tony forging the Iron Man suit in the cave, and without a doubt, seeing Captain America happy with Agent Carter.

Want to learn how to teach your children discernment in media? Hoping they’ll look for real heroes to emulate? Read our book, Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching, and Appreciating Boys for help! From the parents of six sons.