Hal Young's Blog, page 29

For Our Future Daughters in Law

I was floating in the lake in my “mama suit” with my hair going every which way when one of my sons looked over at me and said, “Mom, you’re beautiful!” A few months ago, I might have answered, “Oh, please! I look awful!” but I’ve learned better since then.

A few months ago I read a blog post that I found very convicting. A mom wrote of her realization that the things she said about her body impacted her daughter’s view of beauty and acceptance of her own body. Ouch. I have two daughters now and I want them to feel lovely and confident. I started thinking about what I said about myself and the message my self-criticism gave my girls. Now I’m thinking of the message those things give my boys, too. What I say about my body affects how my boys view women. ()

This afternoon, I decided to join the children in the Lake. When I came out on the deck, they shouted, “There’s Mama – and she’s wearing her swimsuit! Hooray! Hooray! She’s coming in!” They didn’t see what I saw, a middle aged overweight woman in the kind of suit she said she’d never wear. They saw someone they enjoyed; someone they wanted to be with. They saw me through the eyes of love.

That’s the way I want my boys to see their wives one day. They’ll be marrying real women, not the photo-manipulated, made up, plastic surgery-modified women they see in advertisements and media. I want them to love that real woman and find her desirable and make her feel appreciated. I want them to be madly in love like Hal and I are.

When they say, “I love it when you wear that dress! You look great!” and I say, “But, I’m fat as a tick! I’ve never weighed so much. Ugh!” I’m telling them that you’re only beautiful when you’re thin. I don’t want to do that to their wives.

When I look in the mirror and say, “I look awful. I feel like an old woman today,” they’re hearing, “You can’t be beautiful when you’re old. Age is bad.” Yet, I want them to find someone they can grow old with. Someone to share all their years in happiness and romance.

When I greet every compliment with an awkward disparaging remark, they learn not to bother and I cost their wives a precious thing.

I first began to feel self-conscious about my body in the first grade when another girl started making fun of me. It was silly, really. I finally began to see loveliness in me when I married Hal. He’s spared no effort to tell me I’m beautiful all the time – when I look great, when I’m thin, but also when I’m pregnant or fat or sick. Hal has blessed me so much by appreciating me – and I want our boys to do the same for their wives.

So, no more complaining. Now, I’ll just say, “Thank you!” 

By the way, if you’re disappointed I used a same ol’ picture of me for the graphic instead of something new – so am I! We just had a hard drive failure in the one with ALL of our pictures from the past several years (I know, I know. We were changing systems and this was temporary.) I’d be grateful if you’d pray we could recover all those and all the very important business and personal data on that drive.

Related Resource: For more on being the mother (or father) of sons, get our book, Raising Real Men. It’s the book we couldn’t find in raising our six sons – and it was Christian Small Publishers Book of the Year! Click here to find out more.

Yours in the battle,

Melanie

Oh, I forgot! Be sure to sign up for our newsletter so you’ll hear about the huge celebration we’re having in a just a few days. You won’t want to miss it! (And we’ll send you a download of one of our most popular workshops free when you sign up!)

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It Seems I’m Always Yelling

A reader with four boys 8 and under called for help:

I feel like when I talk, no one hears me. So then I yell. My friends call me “The Drill Sergeant Mom“. I am so frustrated.

Wow, do we ever sympathize!

One time, we had a friend — a mother of several girls — tell us we shouldn’t have to raise our voices, ever. “Whisper!” she said. Our boys should learn to listen for the sound of their mother’s voice, and respond right away, she told us.

Right.

Never mind that our two-story house is full of upholstered furniture, carpets, and bookcases which absorb half of the sound of any voice from another room. (Melanie once put a police whistle in the master bath, so if she had an emergency she could call for help and actually be heard.) We found that boys create so much noise around themselves (even inside their heads) that speaking softly was simply inaudible to them — they honestly need a louder voice to break through the bubble!

Don’t give a group call – single out an individual. Don’t announce, “I need someone to bring me my car keys.” That almost guarantees that nobody will respond. Instead, pick someone. Say, “Eric!” and get his attention. When he makes eye contact, then give the instruction: “Please bring me my car keys.” That does two things – it makes one person responsible for the task you just assigned, and it makes it easy to remember who you gave the job to. (Too often, I realize something I asked didn’t get done, but I don’t remember who I assigned it to. Maybe it helps to be a little more deliberate.)

Also, remember there’s a difference between “raising your voice” and “yelling.” I think raising the volume of your voice is normal and not usually something to worry much over. Four young boys make a crowd! But “yelling” may be on the edge of losing your temper … never a good thing for a parent. Remember this verse, “…the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” If you find yourself loud, ask yourself which one you’re doing at the moment.

Don’t be put off by comments from parents in different circumstances. A wise man once wrote, “Once I had no children but six theories about raising them. I now have six children and no theories.” (Tweet this) We had a friend with several daughters who was blessed with a boy at the end; after a couple of years, she went to all her friends with sons and apologized. “I thought you must be poor parents, with all that noise and energy and dirt going on,” she said. “Now I know.”  Often times we really don’t know the challenges our friends are facing, and we should give them the same grace we want for ourselves. Smile, thank them for their concern, and follow what the Scripture and experience tell you!

Related Resource: Many parents struggle with getting through to their boys – and dealing with anger on both sides in that hard to parent nine to twelve or thirteen age. Come join us for Boot Camp 9-12: Getting Geared Up for the Teen Years, a LIVE webinar series that HUNDREDS of parents have found to help them! Click to find out more.

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

“I Can’t Find It, Mom.”

We were setting up for a book fair last weekend and needed the lid to a plastic bin which is part of our display set up. I sent one of the boys to fetch it from the trailer. “It’s on the top shelf,” I said.

Understand: Our trailer only has three shelves, there was only one other thing on the shelf with this lid, and the object we needed was about three feet long and eighteen inches wide. It wasn’t small or hard to find.

Except when our son came back a few minutes later and reported, “I couldn’t find it, Dad.”

Sure enough, when I went out to the trailer myself, there it was – exactly as I’d described it.

Melanie has a theory of this: When she sends someone on a finding errand, if that person doesn’t really believe the object is there, it’s likely they won’t find it. On the other hand, if they approach the search with the expectation that they’ll find it, they’re much more likely to be successful. Skepticism seems to blind them.

Boys all seem to go through this phase (it looks like our girls are heading there now). What can we do to help them overcome it?

Teach them how to look. Too often it seems our guys walk into the room, sweep their eyes around the table tops, and decide, “Not there.” It doesn’t occur to them to see if someone accidently put the mail on top of it, or if the object rolled off the table and may be on the floor next to it, or if it might be somewhere similar if not exactly where described (on the second shelf instead the top, maybe). Show them how to start where you expect it, then look under things, alongside, and in the vicinity. The ability to search for things is a life skill you can teach like anything else.

Encourage them to trust your directions. You wouldn’t send them looking for something you knew wasn’t there. Suggest that if they were trying to find something for themselves, they’d probably concentrate and really look; why not take that approach when they’re helping someone else?

Don’t accept a lazy attempt. Sometimes they don’t care whether the thing is found or not, as long as they get released from the task. In these cases, I’ll say, “Come on, I’ll go show you,” and take the youngster back to the place I sent him. “What’s that over there?” I’ll point out before picking it up, to let them see the thing is just where I told them. Making them “do it over” like this means they spend just as long on the task as they would have if they’d done it right the first time – in fact, it doubles the time for them.

Be humble, yourself. Be fair – sometimes the thing really isn’t there. Maybe somebody borrowed the book since we last saw it, or maybe big brother ate the last piece without asking (Warning: Do not ever eat the last piece of chocolate pie in our house. Yes, Mom wants it.), or we ourselves honestly forgot where we left it. Be willing to admit you were wrong, and apologize for doubting them when they say the object was missing.  (This possibility is a good reason to avoid being too sharp in your rebuke – take it more as an opportunity to teach, rather than a time for irritation. You won’t have to eat crow as often.)

And, remember, they’re going to grow out of this phase eventually. It seems to be at its worst when they’re in that 9-12 age range. Before you could send them to find five things and they’d be right back with them, now you send them to find the car keys and you find them a half hour later stumbling around the house clueless. It’s annoying, but it passes, thankfully!

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

Wondering what’s normal? Need encouragement in bringing up boys? Want to ask experienced parents all those questions you have? Join us for one of our LIVE webinar series – Boot Camp 9-12 , for parents of nine to twelve year old boys, and Boyhood Boot Camp, for parents of boys up to nine. They’re great fun – and real help!

Raising Kids Who’ll Eat Anything

One of our goals in raising our children was to help them learn not to be picky eaters. We’d both seen the extra work, turmoil, and frustration in a family when one of the children was picky, only to see those same children grow up to eat things they’d rejected at home. Hearing tales from missionary friends about the real offense being picky can cause when you’re trying to reach another culture sealed it for us.

That’s been a good thing. We’ve travel all over the place and are often guests at meals. We’d be in trouble if the children didn’t eat pretty much whatever they’re fed, sometimes there’s nothing else available!  How do we manage it? Here are some things you can try:

 

Keep your own mouth shut. Hal’s a pretty picky eater. He raises an eyebrow at most raw fruits and veggies and even some cooked ones, too. Melanie has a few things she doesn’t like much, either. We decided early just not to talk about it. Whether we like it or not, we serve a small portion on our plates and push it around a bit if we can’t eat it. And we never complain about those foods. Sure, the children figure it out after awhile, but usually by that time, they love to eat it!

Hal remembers once we got a flat of reduced price cans that included a can of black olives. One of our boys asked what they were. Hal didn’t care for them, but he put some enthusiasm into his voice and said, “They’re black olives! Want to try some?” He opened the can and served them to him. That little boy is a big boy now, but he still loves black olives. You’ve got to set an example.

Hunger is the best sauce. Want to introduce a new food? Or, reintroduce a rejected one? Make dinner late one night and serve the new food as an appetizer. It’s amazing what looks appealing when you are really hungry!

We love fried okra, but one of our little ones decided it was “yucky.” A few weeks later, I made fried okra a little past the time we’d regularly have dinner, put it on the table and told them to have at it, then started making dinner. Before long, she snuck one. A few minutes later she was eating them happily and she loves them to this day, asking for “fwied okwa.” Who could resist that?

No griping at the table. Anyone who complains about the food at our table has to stand up behind their chair or bench and watch the others eat for awhile. This is strong medicine for a young boy, but we believe it’s critical to be able to be gracious about what you’ve been provided for the sake of your host and your testimony. We’ve seen adults gripe about what they’ve been served and it isn’t pretty! In the home, the attitude of older children will infect the younger ones – don’t let it!

Make sure they try things. In our house, the rule is that you have to try the number of bites that you are years old (which assumes someone older has more self control). That means they really taste it and eat enough of it that they discover it won’t kill them, either.

But, don’t make too big a deal about food. In our house, you don’t have to clean your plate and I don’t pay attention to what you eat or don’t eat as long as you are gracious and don’t complain and are a good example to your siblings. You don’t get seconds or dessert, though, until you’ve eaten all you’ve been served. Making dinner time into a huge power struggle is counter-productive.

Don’t panic if they don’t eat. My theory is that if they don’t eat lunch, then they’ll really enjoy dinner. We’re not doing a bunch of snacks and between meal treats for a child who won’t eat, though. Stay calm and be parental and they’ll figure it out eventually.

Marketing will swing the day. If you act thrilled about a new food, work to make it palatable (ranch dressing, cheese, seasoning), and serve it when they’re hungry, you might be surprised by what they’ll eat. I’ve seen our guys eat cold, boiled chicken feet in China, even though they taste just like you might imagine – like rubber bands dipped in chicken broth. Why is it important? Because our hosts are more open to what we’re saying when we share a meal with them.

Start early, if you can. The sooner you start this, the better your children will respond. We find we have the most trouble around 3 or 4 years old when they get old enough to really start talking about what they want or don’t want. If we stand firm for a few weeks at that age, the battles pretty much go away entirely.

You can accommodate a few preferences, but don’t be ruled by their whims. We allow everyone to have *one* thing they don’t like and I’ll accommodate that in our house, but they have to be prepared to eat it if it’s served somewhere else. For example, one of our sons really doesn’t like mayonnaise. I’ll leave it off his sandwiches, but he knows not to pitch a fit if we’re served a platter of subs with it when we speak at a church. If you just can’t stomach something, you find a reason not to eat, “Thank you, I’ll get something later, I need to go ahead and get us set up,” but you are always kind.

Be an example. What if I just don’t want to eat it or it’s not on my diet? Generally, we shouldn’t allow our preferences to interfere in fellowship or in regarding others more highly than ourselves. I can put together a meal that is as close to my diet as possible from what’s available, or avoid the foods I don’t care for, but I should try to keep anyone from noticing if I don’t want my child showing out when he doesn’t want to eat something. What we do in moderation, they’ll do in excess.

Make adjustments to deal with real issues – allergies, sensory issues, or food intolerances. Those are different and most people understand. Let your host know in advance, offer help meeting the need, or provide food yourself, but always teach your children how to be gracious about it. “Thank you so much! Those look wonderful! I’m so sorry, but I have a peanut allergy. Don’t worry about me, though. I brought a safe snack. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

For more on raising younger boys, join us for Boyhood Boot Camp, a LIVE webinar series just for parents of boys under nine years old! It’s all the things we wish we’d known when our six boys were that age. It’s so much fun! Our next session starts Monday and we’d love to have you join us! Click here to find out more.

Let’s enjoy a meal together sometime!

Hal & Melanie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crank Down the Anger

We finally noticed a pattern. When one of our children got somewhere between nine and fourteen, they’d climb on an emotional rollercoaster and invite us all to join them. Wow, what a tough age to parent! The first time we went through it, we questioned everything, “Is it us? Have we failed in parenting? Is it him? Is he rejecting everything we’ve taught him?” It was so hard. He seemed to blow up for no reason at all.

“I… Can’t… Stand… the Anger in Here!” one of our sons shouted in a family meeting.

We all looked around, completely bumfuzzled. “Son, there’s no one in here angry but you.”

After going through this seven times with our children and hearing how tons of other families dealt with it in our Boot Camp 9-12 webinars, we’ve realized that this is really a dangerous time in the parent-child relationship. It’s a time that a lot of those relationships are broken, making the next stage a huge challenge. On the other hand, it’s a time that if it’s handled well can lay the foundation for making the teen years great! Here’s what we’ve learned:

Prepare for battle. Sometime when they aren’t angry, explain to them what’s going on. Hormones are flowing like crazy – too much, then too little, then just enough, and it’s making their emotions go all over the place. Those emotions aren’t based on reality!

More anger doesn’t help. It’s hard when your child is horribly disrespectful, or even throwing around accusations, to keep your own temper, but it’s vital. Here’s our go-to memory verse for parenting these guys in this stage, “for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Sometimes I think I need it tattooed on my palm. Stay calm and carry on is pretty good advice.

Stop, drop (into a seat), and listen. This is tough when what they are saying makes no sense, but when the enemy is telling them, “Nobody cares,” you need to show them you do. Hear them out. It’ll mean a lot to them one day.

Calmly explain, or ask forgiveness, or talk it through. It’s your turn. If you need to repent, do. It’s a great example to them of what a Christian does when he’s wrong. Or explain to them why they’re wrong. Or help them to understand the situation. Just do like an adult. Somebody’s got to be the adult around here – and it’s not going to be them.

Take them to the Word. Don’t beat them over the head with it, but after you’ve talked it through, be sure to talk about what God says about it. His Word is way more effective than our words.

Show them affection. Generally by this point, they’re repentant. Be sure you show them how glad you are that they’re making it right. A manly hug is the ticket here.

Then, and only then, discipline if you need to. Sometimes their behavior is so egregious that you need to discipline them for the sake of the other children in the house. The funny thing is, that often by this point, they agree! “You’re right, mom. I understand.” That’s when you know you’ve really reached the heart. They are repentant. They’re headed the right direction. You can afford to show them some mercy even when you have to do discipline.

The payoff? When you are the rock, the safe haven, in this storm, you are building trust that will make the years to come so much easier. The preteen years are pretty tough around here, but the teens and twenties have been great!

Related Resource:

Tuesday, we’re starting a new session of our LIVE webinar series, Boot Camp 9-12: Getting Geared Up for the Teen Years. It’s interactive, fun, and one of the most popular things we do. If you’re in this stage of parenting, join us for real, practical help and encouragement. And it’s recorded if you can’t make it live. Sign up here!

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

 

 

 

Ten Ways to Get Boys to Do Chores

Folks, let me tell you this: It is a lot better to have pink underwear than no clean underwear at all. Get your guys doing chores! Here are some things that have helped us (and no, we don’t do this perfectly – not remotely so!)

Use manly marketing. If you say, “Sweetheart, could you make the kitchen all pretty for Mommy?” expect his eyes to roll (at least on the inside), but if instead you urge, “Son, the kitchen is driving me crazy. I can hardly stand to be in there it’s so icky. I would be so grateful if you’d rescue me from it and get it under control,” he’s on it!

Give clear assignments. We rotate daily so that no job becomes overwhelming or gets too far behind. Do what works for you, but post a chart so everyone knows what to do.

Inspect, don’t expect. There’s just no substitute for checking up on them.

Try chore times. I struggled with keeping up with who was working and who wasn’t. Let’s face it – we have a big family! To make it easier, we instituted chore times: times during the day that everyone was supposed to be working. That makes it drastically easier to seek who’s goofing off! Ours are before breakfast, before and after lunch, and before and after dinner.

Work alongside them. Sometimes a job just seems too big. I’ve felt that way a lot, myself. Jump in and work alongside them. The camaraderie and example will get ‘em working.

Divide up a task. When the job is overwhelming, simplify it. Instead of “Clean this room,” try “Pick up and put away ten books.” Then nine, then eight, and before long they’ll have picked up fifty-five books! Then start on toys…

Praise meaningfully. “You showed great initiative when you got up early and did your chore this morning. That’s great!” means a lot more than just “You’re great!” Name a virtue and give an example to motivate them to pursue those great character qualities.

Give them perspective. Boys hate doing things “for no reason.” Explain how they’re helping the family when they do chores, “Thanks for cleaning up for lunch while I talked on the phone with that new mom. You were a part of my ministry to her today because you freed me up to do it.”

Occasionally, but not always, make it fun. Race to see who can finish their part first. Play crazy music while you work. Give everyone ranks and promote or demote them as they work. Pretend you are an army trying to conquer and take prisoner the book, toy, and trash divisions of the enemy army. Our bookshelves have sometimes been prisoner of war camps.

Get them doing chores early. If you wait until they are big enough to do it well, they won’t want to. Take advantage of that desire to do real things and be big!

Don’t worry, though, that maybe your boys shouldn’t be doing household chores. Sure they should! There are examples in Scripture of men doing all kinds of things like this. Go for it!

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

For more on getting guys to do chores, read the chapter “K.P. Isn’t Women’s Work” in our book, Raising Real Men. Find out more here.

 

 

Q: What do we do when we can’t get away for our anniversary – not even for dinner out?

I need help and ideas for our wedding anniversary at home tomorrow…here’s the kickers: we are currently staying at an RV park in our camper trailer. We have three daughters and three sons. My husband will be at work tomorrow and I will have the car, but money is limited….ideas for what we can do to show my husband/man of this family how much we like and appreciate him and how thankful I am thy he chose me as his wife?!?!???? Please HELP!

We love romantic anniversary celebrations, but sometimes it’s just not possible, is it? We’ve had a few of those ourselves and actually they turned out just wonderfully! Here are some of the things we’ve done or thought about doing that might make your day special even without the couple’s getaway:

First, remember that your anniversary is about more than romance, it’s the birthday of your family! It’s really a day important to everyone, it’s the day your family was founded. Tell everyone about it. Make signs. Decorate.

Get out your photos and video and look at them together as a family. It’ll remind you of funny stories (NOT mentioning any here in case some of the perpetrators are reading this!) – and touching ones. Laugh at the changes in fashion. Explain the wedding service and vows to your children. You may be surprised how new this all is to them. How wonderful for them to learn about it in the context of their own family!

Tell the story of how you found each other and how you came to be married. It’s fun to tell it together, with each of you sharing your perspective. Did you make mistakes that you can’t gloss over? Admit it and explain you’ve repented. You don’t need to share details. The story, though, is something so sweet to share with the children!

Show appreciation for each other. Warn everyone in advance that they’ll need to share something they like or love about their parents. During the celebration, each of you share something you love about your mate, then allow the children to share what they love about their parents. It’s precious!

Do some art. Get out the construction paper and art supplies and let your children make cards for you.

Have a feast. Brainstorm together and find something special to make for a family celebration meal. Can’t afford it? Get something inexpensive and fun for the children and something special for you guys and let them set you a gorgeous table and serve you (then run off to enjoy a video and their treat). Worry about the mess tomorrow.

Do dessert. You can go with the traditional chocolate or you can bake a birthday cake for your family. How many candles will you need?

We’ll never forget our children’s response to doing this. They began to understand we were actually people! People with a story that started before they were on the earth. They appreciated their parents more and their family more. You know what? We had a great time, too!

Enjoy!

Hal & Melanie

For more on how to make your mate your best friend, get our new book, My Beloved and My Friend: How To Be Married To Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses. Click here to find out more.

 

 

 

Ten Ways to Keep Your Family From Being Devastated by Porn and Predators

We got another one last night. My heart sank as the sweet mama sobbed out her story. Please, Lord, not another one. Please no.

It was, though. Another family crashing into the morass of sexual sin, completely unexpectedly.

It’s happening all the time these days. Moms and Dads telling us through tears about their son’s addiction to pornography for years “and we didn’t know he had Internet access!” Their child’s molestation at the hands of someone they trusted, sometimes even by a sibling. Teens sexting when their parents didn’t think they even knew about sex. Marriages on the rocks due to porn or adultery.

THESE AREN’T FAMILIES FROM SKID ROW. THEY AREN’T EVEN WORLDLY FAMILIES. They’re families just like the rest of us – Christian, conservative, close families, often homeschoolers. Some of them are families that have followed our ministry for years and have heard warnings, but didn’t think it could happen in their home. Believe me, it can.

Sadly, we personally know of more than one boy raised in a conservative Christian homeschool family that is now a registered sex offender. They got caught in a web of temptation which led to awful sin and lifelong consequences for them, their families, and their victims. Please take it seriously.

Here are ten ways you can fight for your children:

1 – Talk to your kids about sexuality. The Talk isn’t one talk, but a bunch of natural conversations as the opportunities arise (or as you make them!) You’ve got to be the one there first with the best information — and always in the Biblical context of love, marriage, child-bearing, and holiness.

2 – Remind them to come to you with questions (and don’t freak out when they do!) Why? Because many children are first introduced to Internet porn when they hear an unfamiliar word – at church or homeschool group or in the neighborhood or from his cousins or from a magazine at the grocery store.  They go home, watch for an opportunity, then Google it. The sites and images are right there. Make sure they know they can tell you anything without getting in trouble for it.

3 - Teach them that no one has a right to touch the parts of their bodies covered by underwear unless they need the help of a parent or doctor. Boys understand underwear. They may not change it, but they know where it goes. This makes an easy, concrete boundary, and avoids the awkward results of vague “good touching / bad touching” talk.

4 – Explain to them that it’s wrong to look at (or take) pictures of people who are undressed because those are special parts of our body designed for marriage alone. Remember Jesus said, “I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Many times kids are exposed by friends with photos on their phones. They need to know what to do!

5 – Tell them it’s wrong (and illegal) to take pictures of undressed children and teens – and it’s wrong to look at them or share them, too. To a teen, looking at a racy photo of another teen is just exciting. To God, it’s sin. To law enforcement, it’s a felony. A kid may not get that, and ruin their lives because of it.

6 – Make sure they understand there are no secrets that exclude their parents – and assure them that we can take care of ourselves. We tell our children that if anyone tells you, “Don’t tell your parents!” that’s the sign you should immediately tell your parents! “And if anyone threatens you or your parents, be sure to tell us right away. It won’t be us who will need to be afraid!”

7 – Teach them practical ways to fight temptation. See below for help on this one.

8 – Ask them regularly, “Is there anything worrying you? “Is there anything you want to tell me? It’s okay. I’ll help you.”

9 – As they enter the teen years, ask often: “How’s your thought life?” Don’t ask for details, but pray with them and encourage them to keep fighting.

10 – THIS ONE IS CRITICAL: Get some kind of protection on every Internet-capable device in your home. Internet porn is a game-changer. This means phones, tablets, game consoles, even e-book readers. No longer do bad kids have to go looking under Uncle Wildguy’s bed; now the bad stuff comes looking for the good kids. Honestly, when parents tell us their heart-breaking stories, they nearly always say, “We’d been meaning to get some protection, but we hadn’t gotten around to it.” Get around to it today. You’ve got to know what’s going on. Here’s the program we use.

Resources to Help

Internet accountability - We recommend Covenant Eyes - we’ve used it for many years. Click here to read how it works. Now it’s only $12.99 a month for unlimited accounts for your family – all customizable! Sign up here. (It blesses our ministry when you click through us.)

Be sure to lock down game consoles, too. Some allow kids to access live porn. Honestly.

Talking to your kids  about sexuality and what to do if you find they’ve been exposed to porn- Our workshop mp3, Shining Armor: Your Son’s Battle for Purity teaches about these things.

Practical ways to fight temptation - For more on this, grab our book, Raising Real Men.

More of our posts on this and similar subjects like gaming and internet addiction.

Father, please help us all to teach our children to be “as wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Give us the courage to talk to our kids, and the wisdom to know what to say. Please protect our children! In Christ’s name, amen.

Yours in the battle,

Hal & Melanie

We’re Going to a Facebook Party — Join Us!

We are so excited to be a part of the HUGE Facebook party tonight, Thursday night, May 29th, at 9 pm Eastern. Facebook parties are so much fun – and Teach Them Diligently and all their friends (like us!) are offering over $1,200 worth of prizes!! This is DEFINITELY one party you do not want to miss!

How do I go to a Facebook Party?

If you have never participated in a Facebook party before, don’t worry! It’s easy to do! First, like the Teach Them Diligently Convention Facebook page. Next, show up a little before 9 pm EDT on Thursday night with some brownies or other fun snack. (Ok, that’s not ABSOLUTELY necessary, but we like to do it anyway!) Once the party starts, we’ll be posting questions or prizes about every 2 minutes, so make sure you refresh your page often. The party will move FAST. You are free to chat in the threads, answer the questions, register for the prizes, and just enjoy the evening. After the party, they’ll give you plenty of time to make sure you’ve registered before the giveaways close. They’ll pick our winners and announce them all on their FB page after the party. It will be a perfect end to a very fun evening!

Facebook Party Scavenger Hunt

Just for fun, Teach Them Diligently is adding an extra element to their Facebook party this time. Attendees will be taking some “field trips” to other Facebook pages to enter to win a series of prizes worth over $100 each! Thanks to Ali Dent, Doorposts, The Teach Them Diligently Planner (Powered by My Homeschool Grades,) Dual Credit at Home, Shiller Math, Knowledge Quest, Raising Real Men (Hey, that’s us!) and APlus TutorSoft Math for making the Launch Your Homeschool to a New Level Facebook Party so special! Each of these companies certainly play a major role in helping homeschool families launch their homeschool to that new level, too! Make sure you check them out and learn how they can help your family!

What Prizes Can Be Won?

Kindle Fire from Ali Dent (Value $139)
Character Training Package (value $157) from Doorposts
Lifetime Membership to Teach Them Diligently Planner, Powered by My Homeschool Grades (value $149.99) from My Homeschool Grades
Map Trek Complete Collection (6 EBook Set), What Really Happened, set of 3 historical biographies, and A Child’s Geography- Explore the Classical World. (Value $110.75)
8 amazing books including “Trim Healthy Mama,” Dave Ramsey’s new book “Smart Money, Smart Kids,” and books by Frances Chan, Hannah Farver, Katie Davis and more! (Value $107.71) from Dual Credit At Home
Free Registration to Boyhood Boot Camp + Boot Camp 9-12 + Raising Real Men Mom & Dad Special (book & audiobook) (value $101) from Raising Real Men
Free Registration to Marriage Retreat Online + My Beloved and My Friend His & Hers Special (book + audiobook), that’s our new book! (value $62)
A Cry From Egypt + A Stand At Sinai (An Advance Reader Copy of the New Sequel) + How to Write Your Own Book CD, all by Hope Auer (Value $30 )
Kit 1 Virtual, Fractions Kit Vitual, and Kit II Virtual from Shiller Math (value $250)
Registration to your choice of Teach Them Diligently Events including Dallas 2014 or Nashville, Atlanta, Sandusky, or Dallas 2015. (value $75)
The Gospel Story Bible, Old Story New, and Long Story Short from New Growth Press (value $69.97)
Character Badges Set, Lilla Rose XTra Small Tree of Life Flexi Clip, and $20 gift card to Little Deborah section from Deborah and Company (value $45.99)
Picture Study Portfolio of Winner’s Choice, When More is Less Calendar Journal, and Looking Past The Fear Workshop download from Simply Charlotte Mason (value $40.85)
Character Matters: A Step-by-Step Guide To Developing Courageous Character, Character Matters DVD set for youth (comes with a workbook), and An A to Z Guide For Character-healthy Homeschooling from Character Health. from Character Health (value $131)
5 Fun and Simple Tools that Transform Reading Into An Experience from Ali Dent (value $35)
Homeschool Essentials MP3 Audio CDs (10 Workshops) from Israel Wayne of Family Renewal (value $20 each)
3 month membership to Build-A-Menu and Cooking with Kids 12-week curriculum from Build A Menu (value $79.95)
Preschoolers and Peace: Homeschooling Older Kids With Success While Loving the Little Ones at Your Feet and Circle Time: Plan the Best Part of Your Day from Kendra Fletcher of Preschoolers and Peace and Homeschooling IRL.
MP3 Download of Encouraging Passive Husbands from Norm Wakefield of Spirit of Elijah Ministries
Simply Homeschool 2nd Edition Ebook from Karen DeBeuss of Simply Living for Him

That doesn’t even mention all the door prizes and freebies that will be offered!!
Pre-Party Prize Pack And RSVP

RSVP early to register to win a Pre-Party Prize Pack, consisting of a Teach Them Diligently Prize Pack (Travel mug, tote bag, AND free registration to your choice of Teach Them Diligently Events in 2014 or 2015!) as well as a lifetime membership to the Teach Them Diligently Planner, powered by My Homeschool Grades. Pre-party prize pack is worth more than $225!! Follow the instructions below to RSVP and enter to win!

Don’t forget to register for Dallas because we’ll be doing our FAVORITE workshops there! — Hal & Melanie

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Cheap Family Travel – Food

 

The never-failing question “What’s for supper?” doesn’t go away when you’re on the road. The problem is that even eating from the dollar menu, a fast food stop could be $20 to $30–for lunch! We’ve taken our family of ten from coast to coast, and we’ve learned how to keep the crew fed and happy on much less. Don’t let the cost of Happy Meals keep you from taking your whole family along! Click here to listen to a 30-minute program as we tell the Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network how we eat cheap while we’re on the road. You’ll be glad you did!

 

Join us every Monday at 9 p.m. Eastern, or listen on iTunes or download, on the Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network.