Jon Acuff's Blog, page 143

Amazon is sold out of Quitter. What's that mean?

My new book Quitter doesn't officially come out until Tuesday, May 10th but last week Amazon sold out. What does that mean?

1. It means they sold out of the shipment they had and we're printing a whole lot more.

2. It means if you pre-ordered on Amazon they will still be sending you the books on time.

3. It means you can still pre-order on DaveRamsey.com, and Barnes & Noble today.

Amazon should have more copies in the next few days and the Kindle/iBooks/ebook version is almost ready to go too. (I'll post when both forms of the book are up!)

Thanks to everyone who has already pre-ordered. Don't forget that if you pre-order on DaveRamsey.com you get the audio book download for FREE.

SCL gets a big red bar of awesomeness!

"You snuck a new blog in there and didn't even tell me."

Someone told me that last week because they felt like I had done a woefully inadequate job letting folks know about the new blog I am writing. She's right. Things have been crazy and I haven't even mentioned the new red top nav/main nav/red hat Stuff Christians Like has which I think really simplifies things.

Here's what each section is all about:

Blog = This is my new blog. (jonacuff.com) I'm writing about stuff like how to blog, creativity, social media and 1 easy way to kill perfectionism. I'll also be sharing Quitter ideas there and maybe even some stuff about being a dad and husband.

Tour = This is a list of all the places I'll be speaking in the next few months and how to book me.

Books = This page is about the three books I've written.

Quitter = This is the page that has the Quitter trailer and FREE first chapter.

About = This is some background info about me.

Contact = This is a collection of ways to get in touch with me.

Advertising = This about ways you can help sponsor Stuff Christians Like and JonAcuff.com.

SCL = This is Stuff Christians Like, the site you're on right now. (Like inception, this blog post is about a blog within a blog.)

When we were naming the sections it felt weird to have "Blog" right next to "SCL" in the list because they are both blogs. So we spread them out to hopefully avoid any confusion.

I'd love for you to check out my new blog and I was not at all trying to "sneak it by you." I promise.

Getting cut off by someone with a Jesus fish on the car.

Why do people own buffalo? What's the thought process there? If you're Ted Turner and own a herd that you eat occasionally, I get that. But owning two buffalo seems like a really arbitrary purchase to me.

You can't shave them for their fur. You can't ride them or bring them to little kid birthday parties where seven year olds can prance around on them between pin the tail on the donkey and cake. That I'm aware of, you can't teach them tricks or barrel race them in competitions. They seem like one big, expensive designer pet. Like a fancy purse dog, only they weigh two thousand pounds and you probably can't put them under the table at a restaurant that serves capers and food that is "fusion."

These are the thoughts that go through my head as I drive to work now because we recently moved and there are two buffalo down the street from us. Maybe they are just "yard buffalo," like owning a really nice, really mobile painting of the Southwest. Hard to say, but a week ago, my otherwise pleasant buffalo thoughts were aggressively interrupted. How?

By someone who cut me off with a Jesus fish on their car!

I know what you're thinking, "But surely, someone with the Ichthus symbol on their car would never have done that!" I know, I was shocked too, but despite writing about Christians behind the wheel a few times, this was the first time I can remember something like that happening to me.

Here is what immediately went through my head:

1. I can't believe someone with a fish on their car would cut me off.

2. It's not really a fish, it's an ichthus but even in my head I can't spell that word right. There are like 19 h's in it. I have a harder time with that word than myrhhhhh.

3. Is it worse that this fish has the cross in its eye? I mean, that's no entry level fish, that's like double the Christianity right there. I could have overlooked a standard fish, but this is unacceptable.

4. If you're going to drive that way, take the fish off, what a horrible witness!

5. Look at that guy, now he's riding on the tail of the guy in front of him. This guy is a monster.

6. I am so glad God has not equipped me with smite capabilities. I would be out of control right now, just smiting all day.

7. What am I really saying? That possession of a metal fish makes you a perfect person who never messes up and drives aggressively and cuts people off?

8. Would I feel differently if he also had a bumper sticker that said, "Not perfect, but forgiven?" Then at least I could see the fish, get angry and then immediately look at the bumper sticker and think, "Ohh, he got me! I'm not perfect either. We're both just messed up people trying to do this thing called 'merge lanes.' We're never gonna survive unless, we are a little crazy!"

9. Did I just quote Seal? What corner of my brain did that lyric come from?

10. Should I see the new Fast and the Furious? The Rock and Vin Diesel in the same movie? That's like a bicep punchfest. I bet Jenny will not go to that with me.

11. Why did he cut me off? Oh that's right, because when I saw him trying to pass me, I passive aggressively or passively aggressively sped up.

12. That's kind of a jerk thing to do.

13. Yeah but I didn't want him to get in front of me. Even if we're both going to be at the same red light in 30 seconds, I really feel like I have to "win" those 7 feet. Plus, I don't have a fish on my car. So, I can be a jerk.

14. Although I do have a "Stuff Christians Like" sticker on my car. Maybe I should take that off so I can be a jerk, although that doesn't seem like the solution Christ would want.

15. Maybe when Jesus said "love your neighbor" he didn't mean, "People in cars." They didn't have Kias back then, and there's no specific verse that talked about cutting someone off in a wagon or a donkey cart that I'm aware of.

16. You're right. Jesus probably didn't know cars would be invented. God was completely caught off guard by that and you've got a free pass to be a jerk when you're in one.

17. This is going to be a post on Stuff Christians Like.

And so it is. And so I missed some buffalo thoughts that day because I realized I drive like a jerk and hold other Christians to different motoring standards than me.

How about you?

Have you ever been cut off by someone with a fish on their car?

Who's book needs to be published?

A few weeks ago, a publisher asked me a question:

"What new, undiscovered authors should we keep our eyes on? Who is somebody out there with a fresh voice we should be following up with?"

I gave them a few names but realized the other day that the Stuff Christians Like community is much better at answering that question than I am.

So that's today's Short Saturday question.

Who would you recommend to this publisher?

Who has a story that needs to be heard?

Who is a great writer that needs a break?

Is it you?

Is it one of your friends or a blog you've been reading that you really love?

Share a comment or a link or both.

Improving your church directory.

(Some Guy is back with another guest post! I loved his Christmas one and think you'll dig this one just as much. Point 1 was my favorite part. Enjoy!)

Improving your church directory – by Some Guy.

I don't know how you folks at large churches keep track of each other, but we here at small churches like to use the church directory. The church directory is used more often than the phone book at our house. In fact, I can't remember the last time I used the actual yellow pages, which are still dropped near our mailbox a few times a year. I try to make sure they stay stacked neatly next to the mailbox, but the raccoons like to knock them over.

I have noticed changes of the church directory throughout the years. It started out with just names, addresses, and phone numbers. The next one added email addresses. The current one was a big deal because it added photographs of each family. And they were in color!

But we haven't updated our church directory in a few years. Those photos are due to be updated because it's getting hard to recognize some of the kids. And there are some new families who aren't in the directory. Before anyone starts updating the church directory, you need to consider how you could improve it. Every church directory has to be better than the one before. You can't just add the new people to the same old directory format.

I don't know if my church will actually use these, but here are some new features to improve the next church directory:

1. Back-of-the-head photos

The pictorial directory is nice, but it really helps just the pastor since he's the only one who sees people's faces during church. Everyone else sees the backs of heads. So the new church directory should have pictures of the fronts and backs of heads.

2. Seating chart

The other problem is that people sit in the same spots every week, so the back-of-the-head photo works only for the people in front of them. The church directory should be updated so that it lists their information, gives the front and back photos, and shows where they sit in the sanctuary ("left side, 4th pew from the front, near center aisle" or, if your church is fancy, "section B3, seat 12″)

3. Paperless Option

All my bills and statements are going paperless, why not the church directory? If only there were an internet service that let you store your information and let you link with other people in the church and then you could see their information, in perhaps a social networky kind of way…

Yeah, someone should create that. I'm thinking that might get pretty popular. We could call it some catchy name (I'm still working on that – all the obvious names are taken). And we'd have to make up some trendy term for the process of linking with fellow church-goers…maybe we'd "membership" them.

(I know "membership" isn't really a trendy term right now, but we could make it trendy. Then once it caught on, we could make a movie, maybe a church-ville game, who knows?)

I'm sure there are a bunch of ways to improve the church directory. Any other suggestions? Or what does your church do if it doesn't publish a directory?

(For more great stuff from Some Guy, make sure you check out his blog www.someblogsite.com)

Feeling like you should write a blog post about Lady Gaga's song, Judas, but not knowing how to.

Sometimes people ask me how I come up with ideas for Stuff Christians Like. Here is the thought process I recently went through as I debated whether to write about Lady Gaga:

1. Should I write about Lady Gaga's new song "Judas."

2. Maybe not, approximately 0 of my friends asked me this year to help them with a protest of Lady Gaga's "Judas." And no one sent me online petitions trying to get the song taken off the radio.

3. Are we mad about that song? It doesn't seem like it.

4. Hooray! We've chilled out on stuff like that.

5. Wait, is that a bad thing? Is that a sign of our generation's weakening faith and refusal to take a stand for the supremacy and majesty of God?

6. Yikes, that's a big conclusion to jump to based on a song.

7. If I write about it, I better watch the video first so I can really speak to it.

8. But not at work.

9. And probably not at home.

10. Is there a TBS version of the video I can watch, like when they edit episodes of Sex and the City?

11. But as a Christian blogger, as someone sometimes relevant, should I write about the song? Is that something I should be concerned about or interested in? Did poultry farmers feel compelled to blog about her coming out of an egg at the Grammy's? I know Pioneer Woman is a farmer, did she or her husband Marlboro Man briefly consider addressing the use of the egg as a vehicle with a blog post? Hard to say.

12. Speaking of eggs, better stock up on Cadbury Crème Eggs this week. This is the week they migrate back to whatever delicious corner of the earth they spend the Summer, Fall and Winter at.

13. Maybe I could do a Serious Wednesday post about praying for pop stars. On the one hand, I get the strain pop stars like Lady Gaga are under. A lot of pop music is about one upping the next person, about doing something louder/brighter/more shocking than the other person. And the more you keep doing that, the louder the noise gets and the harder it is to be shocking next time. So in order to cause a stir you have write songs about shocking topics or figures like Judas.

14. That would be a weird Serious Wednesday, let's not do that.

15. I need to tell people that the secret when stockpiling Cadbury Crème Eggs is to heat them in the microwave for 5.2 seconds when you eat them in the fall and they're kind of old. The microwave brings them back to life. Is there a Lady Gaga egg vs. Cadbury Crème Egg mashup possible?

16. Let's do a little research. Let's google reactions. Hmm, World Horseshoe Championships. Nope, not what I am looking for although I would dominate. Here we go, one news site said Gaga's creative director, is "a religious Christian…" Uh oh, what does that mean? A "religious Christian?" I thought we were distancing ourselves from the R word because some people think it has negative connotations.

17. What is Lady Gaga's camp saying about the song. OK, here's one: the song is about "inspiration and to never give up… We've created a new Jerusalem."

18. Whoa, what does that mean, they've created a "new Jerusalem?" I thought it was just a song and a video.

19. Yeah, but that quote could be out of context, who knows what was in the … and people say wild things in the moment. Remember when you told that radio host, "I'll sign copies of my book as Francis Chan since I'm not famous and he's really kind hearted and he won't mind?" That joke bombed. That was a crazy thing to say. Careful about sound bites.

20. But they did release the video around Easter for the biggest possible shock value. They knew what they were doing with the marketing. Maybe the quote wasn't out of context.

21. I should definitely not write about Lady Gaga. Or I definitely should. It's one of those two.

I went around and around like that for a week, debating whether I should write about it. Until at last, I trusted my old friend, the list. And I wrote this.

But what about you, did you and your friends talk about the Lady Gaga song "Judas?"

Hear me on the radio today!

I'll be on the radio today at 4PM Central with Wally from Total Axxess, doing a new segment called "Dear Jon." The segment is based on questions folks ask me and no question is off limits.

Here's the link to listen to the show online: Total Axxess

Here's the link to ask a question: Dear Jon

Send in some questions or call into the show and let's talk!

The 9 words you missed last weekend.

Sometimes, hope hurts.

It shouldn't. The phrase, "hope hurts" should be an oxymoron like "Lil Wayne gospel album." But I promise you, it's not.

Sometimes when you're so deep in a season of hurt, you get used to the bad. You start to think you deserve it. You start to expect it and get comfortable with it and get numb to it. And like a creature that lives so far down on the bottom of the sea, you adapt to it. You cobble together little survival mechanisms that help you get through. You get by.

But hope is tenacious …

Even in the darkest of my days, when I'd journal about suicide and despair, a fragment of hope still bounced about softly in the dryer of my head. (When you're married with kids and have lots of laundry to do, 42% of your metaphors and analogies become housework flavored.)

There was a problem though, there was a painful obstacle between me and hope. You see, I was so far down the path of hopelessness, I was so lost and selfish and bent on destruction that I found myself in a terrible lose-lose situation. For example: If people were kind to me, I felt scared because I believed the lie that if they really knew me they wouldn't be kind to me and would be horrified at who I really am. If people were mean to me, I felt hurt because they had been mean to me. Any way I turned simply resulted in more fear and more hurt.

And that is one of sin's goals. Not simply to remove the good from your life, but to have it actually serve as a weapon of mass destruction.

Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever felt completely unworthy when someone offers you love?

Have you ever been ashamed of the lies you're living when someone offers you truth?

Have you ever felt undeserving of something good, because deep down, you believed that person wouldn't really love you if they knew who you were?

It's very possible that I'm the only one, and that's OK. But I do need to tell you about the 9 words in the Bible that changed the way hope felt for me. And they're 9 words you probably missed last weekend during Easter just like I did for so many years. Which is why I remixed this post.

I've written about this before, but I'm a big fan of "edge verses." I'm a big fan of looking on the periphery of a scene in the Bible and seeing all the deep truth that often gets hidden amidst a major scene. And in Luke 22 that certainly happens.

Jesus is on the threshold of getting crucified. He has the last supper with his disciples. He is sharing his thoughts on the father and the concept of serving and ruling. There is a sense of great importance heavy in the air. In the middle of that, he has a short conversation with Simon about how he is going to betray him.

It's going to happen. Jesus knows this, but he wishes it wasn't. He says to Simon in Luke 22:31-32:

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail."

And then, in 9 words, he explains a big part of the reason I thought a mess-up like me ever had a chance at being a Christian.

Jesus tells Simon:

"And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

That's it, those are 9 really simple words, but they demand a second look.

Do you see what Jesus is saying in that first half of the sentence, "And when you have turned back?" He's saying:

And when you fail.

And when you sin.

And when you blow it and sell me out like a common thief.

And when you literally and physically turn your back on me.

And when you ruin it all.

When you turn back.

That concept is part of why our God is so different than everything we expect. We can turn back. There's a return. There's a comeback. There's a loss and a brokenness and a state of falling, but you can turn back. That door is open. When I read the phrase "And when you have turned back," I read a loud, wild picture of what grace really looks like.

Then you get to the part that is so easy to miss, the comma. Thank God for the comma, because that's not how I would have written that sentence.

Mine would have looked more like:

"And when you have turned back, repent for three years before you try to get within a mile of my holiness."

"And when you have turned back, don't think for a second you're qualified to tell other people about me."

"And when you have turned back, here's a long list of works you'll need to do in order to clean yourself of the mistakes you've made and the consequences you've earned."

But Christ doesn't do that! He throws in a comma. He continues the sentence and simply says, "strengthen your brothers."

Six years ago I ruined my life, but you know what?

God gave me the gift of the comma.

And that's why I write Stuff Christians Like.

I have turned back. Not once, not twice, but a million times. And now it's time to strengthen my brothers.

I don't know what Easter was like for you last weekend, but I hope you didn't miss the comma because God wants to give it to you. He wants to give you grace. He wants you to know that when you have turned back, you can still strengthen your brothers.

It's time to accept the comma of grace.

Quitter Book Tour Dates!

In less than two weeks, my new book Quitter comes out. (The official release date is May 10 and you can get the audio book download free if you order the book before then on DaveRamsey.com).

I'm going to be in Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta and Orlando doing book signings/tweetups. I'd love for you to come out to see me and support the new book. In addition to the chance for us to hang out, we're giving away $500 at each signing. You walk in, you side hug, you might win $500. Boom! It's that easy. (Side hug is not a requirement to be entered for the $500.)

Here are the details. If you're in Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta or Orlando, please stop by! It's going to be a blast.

Wednesday May 11, 2011, Dallas Area

6:00 pm – 8:00 pm Books-A-Million

3000 Grapevine Mills Parkway

Grapevine, TX 76051

972-539-0636

Thursday May 12, 2011 Nashville Area

6:00 pm – 8:00 pm

Barnes & Noble

1701 Mallory Lane

Brentwood, TN 37027

615-377-9979

Friday May 13, 2011 Atlanta Area

7:00 pm – 9:00 pm

Books-A-Million

Discover Mills

Lawrenceville, GA 30043

678-847-5115

Thursday May 19, 2011 Orlando Area

6:00 pm – 8:00 pm

Books-A-Million

200 North Entrance Road

Orlando-Sanford, FL 32771

407-328-4700

Grandmothers who love Jesus.

If you've ever posted a comment on Stuff Christians Like, then there's something I need to tell you. Something I've never mentioned before. Something I didn't know about until last Christmas.

What is it?

My Grandma is praying for you.

Not a blanket prayer. She's not saying wide sweeping "please protect everyone who comments on Stuff Christians Like" prayers. She is praying individually, by name, for you.

She told me that last Christmas. She reads every single comment. The nice ones, the not nice ones, the short ones, the rambling ones. She also asked me about specific readers and mentioned that she's always praying for them.

That is awesome to me. Someone in Germany can leave a comment on a satire blog and my Grandma in her 80s, in Charlotte, North Carolina, prays for them. Hooray for the Internet, but above all, hooray for Grandmothers who love Jesus.

In thinking about my Grandma, I realized there are a few consistencies that most Grandmas who love Jesus share:

1. She knows more Bible than you.

You might study a lot. You might read a lot. You might have long forsaken needing the table of contents in your Bible and have made the pages look like the inside of a bag of Skittles from your constant underlining. But you will not "out Bible" your grandmother. Don't even try.

2. She's humble.

When I told my Grandma I was going to write a post about her, she laughed. Then a few minutes later she said, "Please don't write a post about me. Write it about your mom and dad. I'm so proud of them!" Grandmas who love Jesus possess a tremendous degree of humility.

3. She will call you out.

If you don't share her same philosophy about number two, if you are not also gifted with humility and get up to some tomfoolery, expect your Grandma who loves Jesus to call you out. Every other member of your family, your cousins, your uncles, or aunts might look the other way if you act the fool, but Grandma loves you too much for that. I've never seen my Grandma pull out a little Grandmama like Larry Johnson back in the days of his Converse commercials. She's too sweet for that, but I have friends who tell stories of Grandmas who pipe up at Thanksgiving and say what everyone in the room is thinking but are too chicken to actually bring up.

4. You better dress up when you go with her to church.

Again, my Grandma is as laid back and flexible as they come. She's reading blog comments and talking about getting on Twitter after all. But traditionally speaking, if you don't dress up when you go to God's house with a Grandma who loves Jesus, you must be crazy. Don't try to pull out a V-neck with some sort of bedazzled jeans with Grandma. Grandma ain't going out like that on a Sunday.

5. She will blow your mind at Sunday lunch.

For the rest of my life, I will try to recreate the rolls my grandmother made at her house and I will fail. There's just something undeniable about Sunday lunch at Grandma's house that you can't manufacture at your own house try as you might. The tea is sweeter, the gravy is thicker and the rolls, well the rolls, are like tiny bread pillows from heaven.

I hope you have a Grandma who loves Jesus. But if you don't, please know my Grandma loves Jesus and she's also crazy about you.

What's your grandmother like?