Jon Acuff's Blog, page 147

Come see me at the NOW Conference!

I'm really excited about speaking at the NOW conference for young adults on April 15-17. Why?

Like most other things on this blog, allow me to express that in the form of a list

1. Aaron Keyes, one of my favorite worship leaders of all time will be there.

2. Pete Wilson, Ben Arment, Jeremy Cowart, Ed Stetzer and a ridiculous collection of really honest, challenging people will be there.

3. It's cheap. It's only $99.

4. I'll be talking about some of the hardest lessons I've learned about what it means to step into a big dream God has called you to.

5. It's at Brentwood Baptist in Nashville and they have free Galaga. That's right Free Galaga.

I'd love you to come and say hey. I'm sure I'll have a book signing table and will hang out after I speak. Click here to register!

And, below is a video they did with me about the event. A few warnings:

1. I am wearing a double V-neck

2. There are several moments where I awkwardly stare at the camera because I didn't know it was on.

3. I play Galaga during the video.

4. I confess I'm old school when it comes to living missionally.

NOW Conference – Jon Acuff from Threads on Vimeo.

The question of the day, the short Saturday question if you will is this:

What's your favorite part of a conference?

Kissing Metaphors in Worship Music

(Over the years, Bryan Allain has written some fantastic guest posts on SCL. He's one of my friends who I hope gets to publish a book someday because he's a funny, smart honest writer. He's also just started BlogRocket.com to help other bloggers blow their blogs up. Today he shares, a brilliant post about a song most of us know and love. Enjoy.)

Kissing Metaphors in Worship Music

If you're not familiar with John Mark McMillan's song "How He Loves", first off tell me what it's like to live in a cave. Do you pee in one corner of the cave or do you go outside to do your business and risk being mauled by a jaguar with your pants down?

Either way, "How He Loves" is a popular song in churches right now, and one of the more memorable lines in the song goes something like this:

So heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss

Now, you're gonna be shocked to hear this (I hope you're sitting down in the urine-free corner of your cave), but some artists and congregations aren't comfortable throwing in imagery more commonly associated with a 7th grade make-out party into their worship songs.

As a result, another version of the song has been recorded that describes the heaven-earth collision as a slightly different lip lock:

So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

I bring all this up because a few months ago I was speaking at a youth retreat and i overheard the following conversation between one of the youth leaders and the guest worship band:

Youth Leader: You guys did a great job tonight, but I wanted to let you know if you do "How He Loves" again, our kids are cool with the "sloppy wet kiss version".

Worship Leader: Oh, are they? Okay, cool. I forgot to ask you about that, so we just did "unforeseen kiss".

YL: No, our kids like the "sloppy wet kiss" way better.

WL: Yeah, so do we!!! Good to know for next time.

The moment I heard that conversation, I knew it HAD to be a Stuff Christians Like post. So many points to be made here.

1. Worship Bands need to start putting the Sloppy Wet Kiss Clause (SWK) into their riders.

SECTION 4C, NON-NEGOTIABLE ISSUES

"We've got four non-negotiables: 1) We need in-ear monitors (no wedges), 2) we need three pounds of unsalted cashews in a wicker basket, 3) we need a high-ceiling closet to drape our scarf collection, and 4) we will ONLY do the 'sloppy wet kiss' version of How He Loves."

2. Why an "unforeseen kiss"? Doesn't it feel like the person who rewrote that line just made a list of 3-syllable phrases/words to pair up with "kiss" and in the end "unforeseen" was the best they could do?

I'm guessing the list looked something like this:

#1 – So heaven meets earth like a hollywood kiss (sounds great but Christians are never gonna go for it)

#2 – So heaven meets earth like a butterfly kiss (perfect, but Bob Carlisle refuses to sell us the rights)

#3 – So heaven meets earth like a pantomime kiss (only if we want to creep out the entire congregation)

#4 – So heaven meets earth like a tongue-on-tongue kiss (somehow we've found something grosser than "sloppy, wet")

#5 – So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss (it makes no sense, but it's the best we've got. Let's do it.)

3. Never thought I'd see the day when a youth leader would say "our kids like the sloppy, wet kiss way better" with a big smile on his face.

I mean, having been one years ago I always knew junior high kids preferred sloppy, wet kisses…I just didn't think Youth Pastors would ever find a context in which they'd be cool with it, too.

4. Why limit it to kissing? If we're going to rewrite the song and use romantic language, let's really open up the palette. Some suggestions…

So heaven meets earth like…

…some tender light petting

…a gentle ear nibble

…some married foreplay

…a playful butt grab

…the Song of Solomon

Let's stop there before I get myself in trouble.

5. I'm calling it now: a Worship Leader will get fired in the next 12 months for refusing to sing the "unforeseen" version. I can already see the story…

Disagreements between worship leaders and pastors are nothing new, but twitter was abuzz today when a rogue song leader was fired for singing his favorite version of the song, How He Loves, against his Senior Pastor's wishes. Mitch Veeneck, a worship pastor at Firepond Church in Central Iowa, sang the "Sloppy, Wet kiss" version of the song at both the 9am AND 11am services yesterday after being warned he would be removed from his position for continuing to do so.

While initial public support was strongly behind Veeneck, a new development in the story has swung the pendulum the other way. In an article posted on the church's blog late last night, slow motion stills show the crooner flicking his tongue in and out of his mouth like a snake while singing the controversial line. More details as they emerge…

So what's your take on the "sloppy, wet kiss" line in How He Loves? Do you like the original, prefer the toned down version, or don't really care either way?

And by all means, if you have your own (non-vulgar) suggestions on how to rewrite that "heaven meets earth" line, pucker up and fire away.

(For more great stuff from Bryan, check out his blog or twitter feed. If you're a blogger don't miss his new site blogrocket.com)

Using NCAA brackets as a form of witnessing.

The other day at lunch, my friend Chris Thomas called me out in the middle of our conversation. I was telling him about how Kanye West's hamburger restaurant closed. He actually owns his own company called "Kanye West Foods LLC." I made a joke about how that's the new status symbol. Forget a clothing line or a cologne, you're not ballin' until you're able to release your own reasonably priced frozen vegetable medley.

As I was saying this, he stopped me and said, "Wait a second, are you doing material right now?"

I was so caught off guard that I lied. (Why lie about something that silly? I'm not sure, but unfortunately after years of dishonest living, sometimes I still catch myself lying about stuff that doesn't even matter.) But the truth is that I was doing material. I had a tweet in my head and wanted to see if folks thought it was funny before I posted it.

That's how life is sometimes. I kick around Stuff Christians Like posts or tweets for a few days or weeks before they see the light of day. They bounce and bounce until I finally sit down to write them out. Other times, though, they arrive in my email like delicious digital nougat. (Not to be confused with the Digital Underground, purveyors of the Humpty Dance.)

Such was the case last week when someone sent me an email about their pastor using NCAA brackets as an outreach method to non-Christians. I am not making this up, despite paragraph three in which I admitted a struggle with lying. There are really pastors who use filling out an NCAA March Madness Brackett as a way to build community. Bumping into that, I was struck with a few questions:

1. Is that an outreach method that is also a form of gambling?

Every bracket pool I've been part of has involved an entry fee that the winner earns if they score the highest points. I know we give NCAA brackets a free pass, so maybe it's not gambling.

2. What if we donated the winnings to a non-profit?

Is there a way we could use the prize purse, the bag of cabbage if you will, for social justice? Does that make it extra right? Or extra wrong?

3. What does your approach to filling out the bracket say about your heart?

Is automatically siding with the experts and picking all the safe picks mean you're not like Gideon and willing to take long shots? Are the number 1 ranked teams like Ohio State automatically "Goliaths" and to pick one of those is to turn your back on the Davids, like Butler?

4. What's the transition plan from NCAA Bracket to Romans Road?

I've heard of weirder outreach methods and with a God who used a talking donkey and a burning bush, I never want to be in a position to say what things God can't use to reach someone's heart. But how do you make that transition between a bracket that VCU has clearly wrecked and the undying love of Christ? Do you build a church ministries bracket that pits the youth group against the elders? Maybe the number one seed is "The church van will break down" and the number 16 is "No one will critique the sermon at lunch."

I'm torn on this issue. Not because of the theological implications, but because I didn't fill out a bracket this year. Not on purpose, I just got really busy and don't yet have a core group of guys in Nashville that are doing that. Maybe I need that outreach. Maybe I need some Bracket Baptist to extend the right arm of fellowship or at least the left hand of "Are the Richmond Spiders really still in the tourney?"

How about you, did you fill out a bracket this year?

Is that a form of fellowship your church does?

The problem with a platform.

It only takes about three followers on twitter to become a punk. I know this, because I did.

When Stuff Christians Like took off three years ago I went off the deep end a bit with my ego. I got cocky. I got arrogant. I got extra handsome.

See? That just slipped out. Even in describing my narcissism I proved my narcissism. It's a problem. I'm working on it.

But when you get a few followers on Twitter or start a blog or open a facebook account, something weird happens – you get a platform.

It's true, you might just post photos of your cat water skiing or flowers you think look like former president Grover Cleveland, but the reality is that we all have platforms. They might be small, they might be large, but a platform is just a place where you share ideas from. That might mean speaking at main stage Catalyst to 13,000 people or beside your mailbox, speaking to your neighbor. They're both platforms.

And I think one of the biggest reasons people don't want to hear what's being said from Christian platforms is that they think we're hypocrites.

And I think hypocrisy is a form of arrogance.

The definition of arrogance is "having or showing an exaggerated opinion of one's own importance, merit, ability, etc." Arrogance is about pretending.

The definition of hypocrisy is, "a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess." Hypocrisy is about pretending.

Whether you label it arrogance or hypocrisy, it's easy to pretend when you find yourself with a platform. The problem is that platforms are such great places to "perform" from. It's easy to just be you when no one is watching but on a platform there's a great temptation to manufacture the best version of you. For a while, I wasn't that concerned about it until I saw something in a familiar verse that I'd never noticed before.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about his famous "thorn in the flesh." I say famous because it's practically Christian law that you have to assume his thorn was also the exact same thing you struggle with personally. We've all read those verses, but what I missed was the reason Paul said he had the thorn in the flesh. Here's what 2 Corinthians 12:7 says:

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me."

That is terrifying.

Paul just said that in order to keep him from becoming conceited God allowed a messenger of Satan to torment him. Conceit is so high on the list of things God is against that would sooner have Paul tormented by a messenger of Satan. Of the two, judo chop by Satan's minion or Paul becomes conceited, God went with the judo chop.

That's crazy, right?

Of all the things we focus on, of all the sins we shine a critical light upon, I think arrogance sometimes gets a free pass. We talk about pride every now and then, but I personally haven't looked at it like I think our God does.

I don't have a neat wrap up. I wish I did because I think most blog posts should. And it's more fun to write the ones that end with grace than it is the ones that end with a groan. But that's where I'm at.

I want to be humble.

I want to be real.

Instead of people saying "Christians are so hypocritical" I want them to say, "Christians are so honest." And I think that starts with you and I and the way we live on the platforms we're given by a God whose heart breaks when we get swallowed up by conceit.

Wondering why God created allergies.

Ahh, spring is upon us. Bluebirds are singing jaunty tunes. Pastel flowers are poking their heads out after long winter naps. Woodland creatures are dancing about.

And I am sneezing.

And sniffling.

And constantly looking like I'm crying from watching a particularly heart-wrenching Lifetime Channel Movie.

I have allergies and am discovering that in Nashville spring blooms like a big bowl of pollen covered frosted mini wheats.

I'm taking Claritin D. I've scheduled an appointment with an allergist. I'm drinking throat coat before I speak on stage because my voice kind of sounds like a smoky lounge singer right now. But why?

Why did God create allergies? Have you ever stopped to think about that? Why do they exist? Here are four possible explanations I came up with:

Reasons God Created Allergies

1. Keep me humble.

One Sunday at church, I was snorting so much that the lady next to me just handed me a tissue. She didn't ask if I needed one, I didn't ask her for one, she just thrust it in my hand, which is church aisle language for "Shut up, please shut up already with that nose of yours." Maybe God created allergies to keep me humble. It's my thorn in the flesh or thorn in the sinus if you will. Seems a little extreme that he would create a planet impacting form of pollen just to keep me humble, but me even thinking that probably proves why he needed to do it.

2. Support pharmacies and pharmacists

My sister in law Marci is studying to be a pharmacist. I have friends who are drug reps. I'm sure someone I know worked on one of the bajillion allergy commercials you see this time of year. There are tens of thousands of people with families and kids and lives supported by people who have allergies. Maybe that's why God invented them.

3. Teach me patience.

Have you tried to buy allergy medicine lately? In order to prevent illegal purchases, you now have to fill out a form, show your driver's license, buy one small box at a time, submit to a retinal scan and write a 300 word essay on why you feel you deserve the Claritin D. Maybe this is all just a lesson in patience.

4. Bees need pollen.

In the current issue of National Geographic there's a story about pollen and bees. I didn't read it because just looking at the photos made me sneeze and there was an article on kung fu that I found very distracting/awesome. I like honey. Maybe that's the tradeoff. God created allergies because honey is so fantastic. I think I can get down with that.

5. In all things God works for the good

Is this a Romans 8:28 situation? "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Should I recite that verse every time I feel my itchy red eyes tearing up?

It has to be one of those reasons. Or maybe allergies are part of the fall? Was the Garden of Eden hypoallergenic and then when Adam and Eve got kicked out they were expelled to a pollen filled land of woe? Am I overthinking this? Probably.

Why do you think God created allergies?

Do you have any allergies?

Reacting in Christian Love When Your Spouse "Out Parents" You.

I love my wife. She is the reason I've been able to write three books. She's the smartest, kindest person I know. And though it's a prerequisite that as a Christian husband you're required by law to say that you "married over your head," this is actually true with me. That's not an exaggeration. Ask John Ortberg. When he signed a copy of his fantastic book "The Me I Want to Be" for Jenny he wrote, "Jenny, you married way beneath you."

That's just gospel truth. But recently I've faced a new dilemma.

We've started to get competitive with our parenting.

Not in a bad way. Not in a sad way. Not in a "whoa this is serious Wednesday on Monday" way. We've just gotten very competitive on one silly thing:

My daughter's spelling tests.

Every Friday, our 7 year old L.E. has a spelling test in the first grade. There are five words she has to know how to spell and then five bonus words. So the best she can score is a "5+," indicating that in addition to the mandatory words, she got all the bonus ones right too.

My wife works on the words with her each afternoon after she gets off the bus before I get home from work. For the entire year, she scored 5+ on every test …

until Jenny went out of town.

One Thursday, Jenny was out of town and I was the one running the show. L.E. and I practiced the words a little and then she said that was enough practice. It felt short to me and so I said, "Is that how long you and your mom normally practice?" L.E. brilliantly responded, "I'll do my best dad. That's what matters most, that I do my best."

That felt like good logic to me. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking they have to earn my love or attention with performance. I like that idea. That seemed right.

At the time I didn't know I was getting played by a 7 year old.

How did she do on the test?

Her best that week was a 3+.

My wife came home and laughed about it, but since then, on most Friday afternoons my wife or my daughter will call me on the phone. They'll say, "5+" and then hang up. They're talking trash, spelling test trash.

I always react in Christian love, but if they're not careful at some point I'm probably going to juke em. Not L.E. of course, Jesus Juking a kid is like dunking on an 8 foot hoop. You shouldn't do it, but Jenny? It is on like Hong Kong. (The fun of that statement was really sucked out when Nintendo trademarked the phrase "On like Donkey Kong.")

Have you and your spouse ever been competitive on the way you parent?

What apps do you use?

Last Saturday I tweeted this:

Just saw 1st blue bird of spring. Thought, "I bet I could slingshot that thing into a ton of pigs." #toomuchangrybirds

I tweeted that because I realized I was playing the Angry Birds app an awful lot. Well me and 75 million other people, which is not an exaggeration but an actual count of how many people play that app.

Which made me curious, what apps do you spend the most time using?

Here are five apps I use most often:

1. Evernote – Idea capture tool.

2. Tweetdeck – Twitter app.

3. Youversion – Bible on the go.

4. Google – It's Google. Seemed pretty self explanatory

5. Amazon – Shopping.

Here are four apps I had high hopes of using, but never do:

1. 100 pushups – Part of my "get huge" plan.

2. iFitness – See above.

3. SkySafari – Part of my "get smarter" plan.

4. Apple Store – Wishful thinking that I'd have so much money some day that I would be able to so frequently buy Apple products that I would need constant access to the store via an app.

How about you, what apps do you love or use the most if you've got a phone that is app equipped?

Expecting all emails to end with a God shout out.

(I think the funniest jokes are the ones based in truth. They take a fraction of a real situation and exaggerate it comically until it's the size of a skyscraper. Of mirth. That's what Jamison Scott did today with his guest post. He took something that we all know happens and blew it up. This is a great guest post. I hope you like it as much as I did.)

Expecting all emails to end with a God shout out.

Dear Pastor Holmes,

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my last email.

Upon reflection, yes, perhaps it was a bit 'overzealous' of me to suggest that service latecomers be forced to crawl past the good and decent on-timers to the center of the row. And perhaps putting a 'Punctuality Primer' message card on all of the middle seats would be a little extreme – although I disagree that Bible verses that deal with the issue of timeliness would necessarily cause visitors to 'flee our church'. They might say "I respect a church that cares this much about the convenience of it long-time members."

But that's not actually why I'm writing.

No, I'm more concerned about the closing of your last (thoughtful) email.

As I finished reading it, I noticed, with some dismay, that you closed it simply, "Dan"

Not "Worshipping with you in Christ, Dan". Not "Yours in the Truth of the Scripture, Dan". Not "In Christ Alone, who took on flesh, Fullness of God in helpless Babe, Dan".

Not even "Totally Depraved, Dan."

Just "Dan"

Now, my first thought (I tend to think the best about people) was to think – "he just made a simple mistake. He merely forgot. Or maybe he had a long passage at the end of his email saying good things about how my Godly passion showed when I wrote a 2000 word email which highlighted the seventeen most important issues where worship at our church showed serious room for improvement, but then he was afraid that me reading these responding good words might put me in danger of the Sin of Pride, so he deleted it and, in doing so, inadvertently deleted his closing – 'Thinking you to be of extreme importance to our church, Dan'."

But then I thought, "What if it wasn't a mistake? Surely he would appreciate being alerted of his error." So, as a Christian service to you, that's what I'm doing. Please have a nice weekend and we'll see you on Sunday.

Yours seeking unity in all things no matter how trivial,

Scott

P.S. Also acceptable would have been a postscript that mentioned ANY spiritual aspect of your life today. Bible verse references would have been a bonus. But you came up empty here also.

Digital fasts.

(I'm headed to Colorado this morning with my family. We ran out of space in our suitcases so the entire family has to wear snow boots and massive winter parkas as we fly from Nashville to the mountains of Colorado where the temp will be 22 today. That's awesome except that the temp for Nashville today is 76. We will be the sweatiest family at the airport. Chances are we won't have internet at the house we're staying at, which makes this old school post feel appropriate since I might be taking a mini digital fast. Technically speaking, this should have been shared a few weeks ago as friends and family members got ready to take a Lent inspired digital fast. My hope is that the seven steps in this post were taken before they all started.)

Digital fasts.

The only thing Christians like more than the Internet is taking a break from it. A digital fast if you will, where you swear off the Internet or a particular flavor of social media for a prolonged period of time.

But how do you do it? What are the rules? How do you take a really good, really helpful digital fast? The Bible is very thin on the best way to wean yourself off of a Twitter addiction. Not once does Peter say, "Follow me on Twitter, I'm @Rock." Or better yet for all you old school rap fans out there, "@PeteRock."

So today I thought it might be good for us to review the 7 steps you need to take before a digital fast.

Step 1: Go online crazy.

Unless you're online all the time, it's really not a big, dramatic deal for you to go offline. So the first thing you're going to want to do is make sure you're online 24 hours a day. Tweet everything that happens to you, no matter how insignificant. "Just ate a sandwich. Ever thought about that word? It has 'sand' in it. That would be gross if they really have sand in them." Change your facebook status roughly every 90 seconds. Update your blog as frequent as Lowell said something dumb in the television program "Wings." (Old school topical!)

Step 2: Write a blog post about taking a digital fast.

The irony of writing online about how you are going to take some time from being online is so rich it's like a delicious sandwich spread made of boysenberry and irony. Technically the Bible says we're not supposed to tell people when we fast. Maybe posts on your blog don't count. Maybe.

Step 3: Start a Twitter countdown.

Every day, in the week leading up to your digital fast tell people how many days until you take your digital fast. Or start a group on facebook called "Friends taking a break from facebook." The goal is to make sure you get as much attention possible about your very private, very personal digital fast.

Step 4: Go offline.

For a predetermined amount of time, just log off. Don't check email or fantasy sports scores or facebook or anything else. And say things like this to your friends, "Oh man, I know how smokers feel when they quit. This is hard."

Step 5: After a week, go back online.

Make a triumphant return. Maybe write a blog with a headline from Eminem, "Guess who's back, back again? Guess who's back? Tell a friend!" Jump back online with both feet.

Step 6: Share the valuable lessons you learned while on your digital fast.

Turn three days offline into 10 days of blog material. Try to use the words, "community" and "fellowship" a lot, as if you suddenly discovered the real meaning of those during your 72 hour hiatus. If possible, post photos of you doing non digital things, like flying a kite or tickling puppies named Shadow in parks crawling with sunshine bright daisies.

Step 7: Return right back to your pre digital fast amount of online consumption.

This wasn't about learning or praying or anything like that. This was about digital showmanship. You were like an Internet David Blaine holding your breath offline for three days straight. Return to the Internet like David Blaine would return to dating models after a three day hiatus in a solid block of ice.

Hopefully these steps will help you with your first digital fast. I can't wait to read all about it online and in the email newsletter you create. Just promise me you won't do what Anne Jackson did and actually quit facebook for legitimate reasons or push pause on Twitter like Michael Hyatt or my friends who legitimately give up technology for Lent. There was no drama in either of those decisions. Where's the fun in that?

Have you or a friend ever taken a digital fast?

10 Free tickets to the NOW conference.

I'm speaking next month at the NOW Conference. The NOW conference is a weekend gathering of young adults led by 15 of the top visionary and missional leaders in the country. (Jeremy Cowart, Pete Wilson, Ben Arment and a ton of other awesome people.) We are anticipating a gathering of young leaders from across the country with a passion to take what God has given them and impact the world for change. The event is at Brentwood Baptist Church in Nashville, TN on April 15-16, 2011.

The first 10 people who click this link and fill out their information will get a FREE ticket. Hope to see you there.