Jon Acuff's Blog, page 151

Come see me at Catalyst West Coast!

In less than two weeks, I'll be speaking at Catalyst West Coast. Come hang out with me on Wednesday, March 4. I'm going to be sharing some ideas from my new book about how to turn a dream into a job and a job into a dream. It's at Mariner's Church in Irvine, California. It always sells out and is going to be a blast. Make sure you stop by my lab on Wednesday from 2:45 – 3:30PM. There will side hugs, Jesus Jukes and ideas about surviving the tension between a day job and a daydream. (In that order)

Sign up for the labs and the main session which will include great stuff from folks like Dave Ramsey, Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler and many others!

Click here for more info.

What does your quiet time smell like?

Last weekend, when I got the coffee out and started making it, I thought to myself, "This smells like my quiet time." (Please insert your own "Smells like teen spirit," Nirvana joke.)

For years, whenever I've had a morning quiet time, I've done it while drinking a cup of coffee. Now, the two feel intrinsically linked. Not that I can't spend time reading the Bible without coffee, but even just the smell of it triggers the idea of quiet time in my head. Which made me curious, what are the things in your life that have become associated with your Bible study, or your personal worship or your quiet time?

Is it a place? The beach or a mountain vista?

Is it an album? Some band you always listened to before you started your quiet time?

Is it coffee or tea?

What is your version of coffee during your quiet time?

Purchase Justification

(Tyler Stanton is one of the funniest people I know. His blog is hilarious, his book is hilarious, his videos are hilarious as well. I'm sure he's not funny sometimes during the day, like at the grocery store or while pumping gas, but I can't verify that. Here is a great guest post from Tyler!)

Purchase Justification

No one is better at feeling guilty for having nice things than us Christians. Now, of course, this guilt doesn't actually stop us from buying the nice things. It just causes us have a justifiable response on hand in case someone ever broaches the subject.

Here are a few of the more common ways we justify questionable purchases:

The Financial Analyst

This person likes to explain the financial logic behind seemingly extravagant purchases, just to make sure everyone knows how reasonable and legitimate they are. They're so reasonable, in fact, that he'd have been foolish to have abstained.

Neil: Nice jeans! How much did those set you back?

FA: Um, a lot.

Neil: Like, $100?

FA: Yeah, basically…$100…$169. Somewhere around there.

Neil: You paid over $150 for jeans???

FA: Look, I don't wear suits to work, I wear jeans. And considering these jeans cost less than half of what you'd pay for a good suit, I'm actually being thrifty.

Neil: Hmm. Interesting logic.

FA: I like to think of it as good stewardship.

The Storyteller

This person likes to spin elaborate yarns about the lore behind the actual purchase. When encountering a storyteller I feel like exclaiming, "Look guy – I was just making small talk. I had no idea my "That's a nice TV" comment was going to elicit a purchase testimony that included an inciting incident, flashbacks for character development and an intermission for refreshments. Instead of telling me it was the deal of the century because it was the display model and that you talked the guy down another $200 and that this off-brand is actually made by the same company that makes the on-brand, we could actually be watching it right now."

The Thank You Replacer

This person doesn't waste any time with pleasantries. Her primary purpose in every conversation is to let the other person know she avoided paying retail price.

Sheila: Hey, nice scarf!

TYR: Target. Eight eighty-nine.

Sheila: Um, OK. I really like those jeans too. Are those–

TYR: Seventeen dollars. eBay.

Sheila: Wow, you…have a great memory.

TYR: Brain Age for Nintendo DS…$19 at GameStop.

Sheila: Um…You're…welcome?

The Relevant Guy

This guy plays the victim from the beginning. He didn't want to have to spend money for the top of the line item, but our superficial culture left him no choice. Things you might hear him say at any given moment:

"You expect people to take my message seriously in Old Navy jeans?"

"How will anyone respect what God's done in my life if I'm talking to them on a cell phone without apps?"

"Is it even possible to make Kingdom impact while using a Dell?"

The Spiritualizer

This person doesn't waste his time with any of the above approaches – they're not spiritual enough for him. When attention is drawn to any of his newly acquired possessions, he humbly shrugs and throws down the Purchase Justification Ace of Spades: "It was a God thing." Guess I can't argue with that. Or can I?

Are there any other approaches I missed?

And, what do you think: Can/should Christians have nice things?

Tyler Stanton is part of a movement of people who don't take themselves too seriously. His blog, tylerstanton.com, helps tens of people in their own journey every single day. His glorified pamphlet, Everyday Absurdities: Insights from the World's Most Trivial Man, is on track to become required reading in all nationally accredited universities by 2026. If all goes according to plan, he will never own a dog.

Feeling like you might be completely bombing your kid's spiritual upbringing.

Last week, my friend told us something really amazing she was doing to encourage her son's curiosity in the Bible.

Every morning, she and her 8 year old read a small section of Psalms. Then, he creates a drawing of it. Section by section, he's illustrated what he thinks about when he reads a section of Psalms.

A normal Christian parent would hear that idea and probably think to themselves:

"That is beautiful. What a great idea! Such a perfect way to explore the Bible and young faith creatively. We should try something like that with our own kids."

Instead, since I am not normal, after internally hoping they had good crayons and not those knock off "prangs" that will never last through the length of Psalm 119, here is what I thought:

"I am completely bombing my kid's spiritual upbringing."

It takes a unique potpourri of neuroses to interpret someone else's success as your own failure, but there I am. Having heard that idea, I immediately jumped to a small degree of parental panic. Here's the conversation as a Christian parent you often have with yourself:

"I've got to raise my game. Get this kid reading the Bible or coloring Bible stories or something. We are not doing enough in our house."

"On the other hand, we don't want to push too hard. I know way too many people who couldn't wait to run away from the church they had forced on them. Be cool, Jon, be cool."

"But aren't there a lot of verses that talk about the need for the parent to raise their kids up in strong Christian homes? Spare the rod, spoil the child? A penny saved is a penny earned? I believe the children are the future?"

"Did I just quote Ben Franklin and Whitney Houston while thinking about the Bible?"

"I am the worst parent ever."

If you've never had this type of conversation with yourself as a parent, then you and I are very different. I had it just the other night when I leaned in to prayer with my five year old McRae and she said, "Mom already prayed." She then proceeded to put both of her little hands over my mouth to physically prevent an additional and apparently in her mind, unnecessary prayer from being uttered.

I am the worst parent ever.

How about you? How are you making God part of your family life? Did your parents teach you about God?

Going solo.

"Are you scared about any of the things that are happening right now?"

My wife asked me this question the other night.

I thought about it for approximately .2 seconds and answered:

"Only if I stop to think about it."

And that's the truth, I'm excited and more than a little terrified by the adventure we're on right now.

What if my new book doesn't sell? What if I've moved my family from Atlanta to Nashville, moved my wife from her group of friends, my kids from their schools, me from the industry I was in for 12 years, in the name of a BIG DREAM and it doesn't work?

What if?

I don't doubt that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I feel incredibly blessed to be doing what I am doing right now. I feel God called us to Nashville and we are on the edge of an adventure he's been quietly unfolding for years. But sometimes I find myself counting the giants.

And that seems like a pretty common thing to do when we're called on big adventures. I think about the 12 spies that scouted the Promised Land in Numbers 13.

When they returned, they gave a long report, that can be summarized by one line they said:

"We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."

It's easy now to judge the Israelites, but all too often, when we face our own challenges, we say the same thing.

I can't find a job I want, the economy is horrible.

I can't hope to fix this relationship, it's beyond repair.

I can't sell my house, the situation is hopeless.

I can't be a successful author, I just have a niche satire blog.

Sometimes, despite our hope or our faith, we make "I can't statements." And although this would traditionally be the point in the post where you do the rainbow 180 and say, "You can do anything you set your mind to," I'm not going to do that. Because I think the Israelites were right when they said "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."  But here's a critical truth the Israelites missed, something that trips me up sometimes too:

God never said to do it alone.

God never ordered the Israelites to take the Promised Land with their power and their wisdom and their ability. Not at all. In fact he promises just the opposite in Exodus 6:6-8

'I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.'"

Look at what he says:

I will bring you out

I will free you

I will redeem you

I will take you as my own people

I will be your God

I will bring you to the land I swore

I will give it to you

Seven times, in three verses, God reminds the Israelites and us that he never calls us on adventures alone.

There's a long list of things you can't do. You can't fight giants. You can't find a new job. You can't fix relationships. You can't. You can't. You can't. But God can.

I'm a little scared of what's ahead, but I'm excited too. I'm just going to take one step at a time. I'm not going to count giants. I'm not going to try to force God's hand to make things happen the way I want them to. I'm going to take one step at a time and remember that I serve a God who never asks us to go on adventures alone.

The Justin Bieber Bible Study.

You guys never tell me anything. Though I like to think I am a cool Christian blogger, a purveyor of praise, a curator of culture if you will, I am always at least a few days behind the rest of the planet.

That's how I felt anyway when I learned there was a Justin Bieber Bible Study.

This is not blog hyperbole or exaggeration. In support of his new movie, Never Say Never, Paramount Pictures created a study guide called, "Never Say Never: For Nothing Is Impossible With God." They invited influential Christian leaders to screen the movie and endorse it. That's what a recent Entertainment Weekly article reported. And when I read it, here is the thought process that went through my head.

"Didn't I write a piece about Justin Bieber's faith last November? Did I scoop Entertainment Weekly by three months?"

Pause.

"Why am I so cocky?"

Pause.

"Have I been looking at Bieber as just another boy band, when actually he's a 'young evangelical?' That's a weird phrase, nobody uses that in real life. No one would ever introduce themselves and say, 'Hi, I'm Jon, I'm a young evangelical from Nashville.'"

Pause.

"How come I wasn't invited to one of premiere events? I want to be an influential leader."

Pause.

"Why am I so cocky?"

Pause.

"Everybody has a study guide! I should do a Stuff Christians Like study guide called, 'Side Hugs, Jesus Jukes and the Stuff Christians Like.' It would be scratch and sniff and smell like old hymnals. And it would have stickers with it and a little pencil sharpener that was in the shape of a crock pot. Probably could package the whole thing in a Trapper Keeper."

Pause.

"How come you brainstorm like a fourth grade girl?"

Pause.

"Whoa whoa, nobody puts the Trapper Keeper in a corner."

At that point, the train has jumped the tracks and crashed into a Dirty Dancing reference, Justin Bieber and a love of all things crock to the pot.

But be honest, did you know there was a Justin Bieber Bible study? Have you been keeping that from me?

1 way to keep creativity a family value.

Kids often stop believing they're artists the older they get. At the Acuff house we found one simple way to keep creativity one of the core values of our family. I wrote about it recently on the E-Mealz blog. Check out the post if you get a chance, "Better dinners through bigger stories."

Awkward "You're single?" conversations at church.

"When people at church find out I'm single, I feel like they look in the direction of my uterus and shake their heads in shame."

That's how my friend Wendy Maybury, a talented comedian/photographer, once described to me how being single at church felt.

Though she's probably exaggerating a smidge, in the past when we've talked about being single at church, the stories you've shared have been crazy. People say the most random, awkward things when they find out you're single at church.

Although we've chronicled these with a 40-point scorecard, we've never talked about the best way to respond when someone at church says, "You're single?" Maybe, if you responded to that question in a different way, married people wouldn't say things to you like, "Well at least you've got Jesus as your husband right now."

So here, in honor of Valentine's Day and all my single friends, here are

4 ways to respond when people at church ask, "You're single?"

1. "Yes, but I can't babysit for you on Valentine's Day."

We married people will trick you into this. If we talk to you the week before Valentine's Day out of the blue and say, "You're single?," please expect a babysitting question. And feel free to shot block it.

2. "Yes, but I don't feel led to volunteer for 97 ministries."

As a married dad, I forget that when I was single, I was pretty busy then too. Since I forget that, there's a chance I'm going to wrongfully believe that being single means you have time to volunteer for every ministry or service opportunity the church offers.

3. "Yes, but if you're going to yell 'She's single' to someone else you know who is single right now in the lobby of the church, give me at least a running head start."

I admit, that one's long, but it might be useful. Often your married friends want to set you up on a date. And not eventually, right this second. If the person asks if "You're single?" and then immediately starts scanning the crowd to find someone else who is too, moonwalk out of there.

4. "Yes, but I don't feel like you and I should discuss my willingness to receive Paul's 'Gift of loneliness.'"

You might need to drop a smokebomb to escape after you say this one, but even though it's difficult to get high grade smokebombs these days, it's worth it. Discussing Paul's celibacy with a married friend in the lobby of church is one of the weirdest conversations ever.

Hopefully, you will never, ever need to use one of those four ways to get out of an awkward "You're single?" situation. But chances are, if you're single at church, you already had something like this happen. (Minus the smokebomb of course.)

Have you ever had a weird "you're single?" experience at church?

My second book is now on Amazon!

I'm excited to announce that my second book, "Gazelles, Baby Steps and 37 Other Things Dave Ramsey Taught Me about Debt," is now available on Amazon. 

Click here to pick up a copy today.

If you read it, I'd greatly appreciate a quick Amazon book review.

Thanks for all your support!

P.S. I'm working my way through the blog reviews right now and it's been a blast talking to a bunch of folks.

What's your worst date ever?

Valentine's Day is right around the corner!

Which usually means if you're single you have to quit reading blogs for a few days while we married bloggers create "Lifetime Channel posts" detailing in excruciating detail the awesomeness of our lavender-scented love.

Long sentence. No fun if you're single.

This year, I decided to switch it up a little. Today, the short Saturday question is simple:

"What's the worst date you've been on?"

That's it. In the comments, share the worst date you ever went on. And I'll go first with a story I call "Coat Closet Catastrophe."

When I was in the 11th grade, I dated a girl from another school. She had to be from another school because I went to St. John's, an all boys school in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. We had a semiformal for her school at a Polish American Club one night. In the middle of the dance, she asked if I minded if she danced once with her ex-boyfriend.

Not recognizing the craziness of that request or perhaps because I am a horrible people pleaser, I said, "No problem!" One dance led to two dances led to three dances, led to me sitting at a round table by myself in a tiny Polish American Club while everyone slow danced next to me on the dance floor.

After thirty minutes of her not talking to me/looking at me/dancing with me, I started to pick up on the signals. (I was very perceptive in the 11th grade.) I went into the bathroom, probably to write some mopey poetry, and two guys I had just met that night said, "We've got your back if you want to jump her ex-boyfriend." Although touched by this unexpected camaraderie, I passed on the idea and decided to just leave.

My girlfriend caught up with me in the coat closet, where I was without a doubt grabbing a coat that didn't really fit me which I had borrowed from my dad in order to look semiformal. We broke up in the coat closet while a small crowd of people gathered to watch. I drove my dad's 1987 Mazda 323 back to Hudson and went straight to my friend "Oates'" house where I'm pretty sure we drowned my 11th grade sorrows in Stouffer's French Bread Pizza.

Watching 160 other people dance to the smooth soul of Johnny Gill while I sat mere feet away at a table by myself was my worst date ever.

What's your worst date ever?