Jon Acuff's Blog, page 155

#1 reason people won't listen to your ideas + why dreaming isn't enough.

One of my goals for 2011 is to do more video blogging. Today felt like a good time to start that.

The team at Dave Ramsey put together this 3 minute clip of me talking about two things:

1. Why people ignore our ideas and how to change that.

2. Why just dreaming about what you want to do isn't enough. (The core of my next book.)

Check it out after the continue.

2 ways you literally changed the world.

Friday is usually guest post day, but today I wanted to do something a little different. I recently got two really exciting updates about the projects readers of Stuff Christians Like did in Vietnam and Uganda. I'd like to share those with you.

Vietnam

As many of you know, in November of 2009, we asked a pretty simple question, "What if?" What if a bunch of strangers came together and were able to raise $30,000 to build a kindergarten with Samaritan's Purse in Vietnam? We thought it would take us six weeks to raise the money. We were wrong.

We raised the $30,000 in 18 hours.

Realizing how badly we had underestimated the massiveness of God, we doubled down and decided to build a second one. We ended up raising another $30,000 and securing a total of $60,000 in 25 days. Here's the full story if you would like to read it. (Big thank you to Wes Molebash, who illustrated the whole adventure with a metrosexual worship leader!)

Last week, my amazing contact Darren at Samaritan's Purse sent me a photo of the plaques that will be on the kindergartens and it was hard to not get choked up. Here's the plaque that will be on the kindergartens, halfway around the world in the jungles of Vietnam:

"Provided by Samaritan's Purse and the Readers of SCL"

That's us! Because of God's awesomeness and the readers of a blog, two villages in Vietnam are forever changed! Jenny and I are trying to figure out how we can go visit the kindergartens when they're open.

Here's a photo of one of the kindergartens, which should be completed this spring. (My assumption is that the bird in the photo is some sort of worship eagle mascot. )

Uganda

Last October, we partnered with SafeWorldNexus to do the SCL10K. The goal was to raise $10,000 in 24 hours to save lives from malaria by purchasing mosquito nets. We hit our goal in about 2.5 hours and ended up raising more than $33,000. Matt Chambers, the head of SafeWorld Nexus sent me an update and an example of the GPS coordinates they are putting together right now to show you where your $10 net went. Here is what Matt wrote:

SCL10K Update

At the beginning of a new faith journey, you never know exactly what the end result will be, and SCL10K was no exception. But in the aftermath, what we're experiencing is much more than we could have ever hoped for! Here's an update on what's happened so far…

600 mosquito nets have been hand-delivered in 4 different villages.

3 of those villages (Munyolwe, Kisango and Njagala Bwami) now have nets covering 99% of the people living there.

We're already receiving reports from some of the earlier net distributions that malaria cases have dropped significantly. We'll have more specific data later, but this is a great beginning!

The village chiefs are so excited about this new project, they insist on going with our distribution teams to each house and they spend extra time making sure their people are using the net properly for maximum effectiveness. This development is very exciting to us because we want this project to empower the local community and help raise up and resource leaders.

The district chief and member of parliament for our 200,000 people target area have both shared with us that they have never seen a project like this, but believe it is absolutely the best way to begin a fight against malaria in the region and will give us whatever support we need.

There are still 2,500 nets to deliver and we believe the impact will continue to be greater than we ever imagined.

We'd like to extend an open invitation to any of you who gave nets to actually travel with us this summer to deliver them to families in Uganda. There are two trips currently scheduled (and we can easily add more): June 2-12 and July 21-31. One of our biggest commitments is to allow people to see exactly where their money is going and this is a way for you to literally place your gift straight into the hands of the family you gave to.

If you'd like to go, or want more info, please email jenn@safeworldnexus.org or write me on twitter @chambers_matt. We'd love to have you along on one of these trips!

Finally, for those of you waiting for your Google Earth coordinates to see exactly where your net went, here's a screen shot of what that will look like. Coordinates will begin going out in the next couple weeks, and the site to view locations will be live by the end of January. Thanks for your patience, it's quite a task to upload thousands of these locations, but we can't wait for you to see them!

Thank you so much again for giving, praying and encouraging. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Grace and peace, Matt Chambers, Co-founder, executive director, SafeWorldNexus

When I get wrapped up in book sales and blog traffic and building a "brand," it's really easy to forget the things that matter most. This post, this is what Stuff Christians Like is about. Thank you for going on this journey with me. You literally changed the world. Your generosity overwhelms me and your compassion is a constant inspiration.

Jon

#7 in 2010: Hating Harry Potter, giving Gandalf a free pass.

(The age old debate. Wizard vs. Wizard. Mano y Mano. Wand to Wand. This was the 7th most popular post on SCL in 2010)

Hating Harry Potter, giving Gandalf a free pass.

Once upon a time, there was a wizard. Though his background was shrouded in mystery, there was little doubt he was the most powerful wizard in the land. He had a deadly enemy, but good friends, including a red headed guy he always hung out with. People that should have loved him, once instead made him spend his nights in a small, prison like room. He rode the backs of winged animals and had a bitter rival who hated him. Christians had an incredibly strong reaction to the books he was in, which were written in the United Kingdom. I am of course talking about …

Gandalf.

That's Gandalf's story. But it reads a little like Harry Potter's doesn't it?

Who knows Gandalf's back story? It's as mysterious as Harry's. (Did you know his last name is MacGargle? True story, Gandalf MacGargle.) Both wizards were powerful and hung out with red heads. Gandalf had Gimli, Harry had Ron. Gandalf was imprisoned on top of the tower by a former friend, Harry was trapped under the stairs by his own family. And Christians have had an incredibly strong reaction to the books.

We love the Lord of the Rings.

We hate the Harry Potter series.

But at the end of the day, they're both kind of magical. Tolkien was a Christian, so in many ways we weave in Christian theology to Gandalf and the other characters. I think there are a ton of parallels, but I also think we elaborate a little on the story. And Potter author J.K. Rowling? Who knows what, if any, spiritual leanings she has.

The wild card to a debate which I think might have been covered approximately 95 million times prior to this article, is the new theme park at Universal Studios in Orlando.

I am not exaggerating when I say that my brother and I have already talked about going there this December. Our feeling is that to go to a replica of Hogwarts and Harry Potter's world during the summer wouldn't make sense. You've got to go when it's cold enough to wear a Gryffindor scarf and you can drink a butterbeer and perhaps get some sort of sweets from Honey Dukes. (Bennett is going to bring his one year old and give the sorting hat a whirl, fingers crossed it doesn't say "Slytherin!") Harry Potter never wore shorts that I'm aware of, but that's beside the point. The point is, I'm going.

I asked my wife about this debate, Harry vs. Gandalf. The first thing she said was that we would not be a family who raised their kids to attend Universal, so great is her love for Disney. The second thing she said was that I couldn't read the books to our oldest daughter until she was 12. I told her I had a different belief about the likelihood of our pre-pubescent daughter sitting down with her dad to hear a book about magical wizards. But I don't know if I'm going to read them to her or not.

I don't love the dark arts undertones and I love the irony of writing about Harry Potter in the same week in which I claim to be getting more conservative. But where are you at on this?

Harry vs. Gandalf.

What do you think about Harry Potter?

Getting a Hebrew Tattoo.

I don't have a tattoo because sometimes I get bored of a certain flavor of gum pretty quickly.

Things always start out well at first. I buy a pack of "5 React." I think the "5" is related to the number of senses the gum impacts, but to tell you the truth, having chewed it a few times, I'm not sure that a "sound experience" is a reasonable expectation from a piece of gum. Don't get me wrong, if that gum played "Rhythm of the Night" by El Debarge while you chewed it, I'd be sold. I checked the Wrigley site to make sure my hopes weren't too high and here's how they described it: "5 is a groundbreaking sugar-free stick gum product."

That's exactly how I feel about gum. Whenever I see someone at work with a pack, I say, "Do you have any more stick gum product?"

So I chew React, which is like a delicious fruit truck smashed into a fruit parade while the city was under attack by a Godzilla made of fruit. The package opens with your thumb, which I also enjoy. The 5 gum package is like the Zippo lighter of the gum world. I defy you to find a cooler gum package in the industry of chewing industry right now.

But I get bored. I lose interest quickly. I move on to another piece, even if Stride tells me I can chew their stick gum product for hours. I'm too fickle, which is why I can't get a tattoo.

My brother Will has a few and one of his is in Hebrew, which is probably the way I'd go too. Why? There are a few reasons the tattoo in Hebrew is the way to go:

1. It forces you to learn a little Hebrew.

My brother is a budding theologian, but me? I rarely crack open a book in Hebrew and just go at it. Getting another language tattooed on your body forever would hopefully inspire me to actually study that language a little.

2. It's like the Christian version of the Chinese symbol.

Want to ferret out if someone at work is a Christian without straight up asking? Chances are, if they have a Bible verse tattooed in Hebrew, they are a Christian. (Or they're Angelina Jolie. It's one of the two.)

3. You can tell anyone it means anything.

Feel like you got a word on you that is no longer the word that symbolizes your life? You got "Drowning in his love" tattooed in Hebrew four years ago, but now feel like the phrase, "Living in his light," works better as a summary of your life? Just tell people that's what it means. They won't know. Of course, now you're lying about a Hebrew tattoo which is like some kind of triple sin.

4. They tend to be small and less painful.

Tattoos are still delivered via, hot, constant, sharp needles, right? Just checking. That's one more reason I'd probably go with a word in Hebrew if I ever got a tattoo. Those are always small.

We had a Christian tattoo contest two years ago on Stuff Christians Like and there were some amazing ones. But it's not my thing. Sure, sometimes I'll rock the temporary tattoos when our kids wear them, but we've got girls. That means I'm not rolling out of the house with a fire truck or a rocket. I'm wearing one of the members of the Prince Cartel. (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Lil' Mermaid, etc.)

How about you?

Do you have a tattoo?

What is it?

New updates to SCL!

When I started Stuff Christians Like, I was writing it for about an hour every day, in my kitchen before work. It was something I would have honestly described as a "fun hobby." I loved doing it, but it was at best, a sliver of my life.

Fast forward almost three years, and the site has turned into something I never expected. We've created a list of almost 1,000 items. We built two kindergartens in Vietnam and did a massive nets project in Uganda. There's a Stuff Christians Like book and a cologne called "For Hymnal," that smells like old hymns. (That last one is what they call, "vision casting.")

And Stuff Christians Like is now a huge part of my life. In addition to being my passion, it's what I do all day. But the site didn't visually reflect that. I've honestly been afraid to step out there and say, "Hey, this is what I do. And I love it!" I tend to be a bit of coward when it comes to admitting stuff is good because I'm afraid if I do, and it goes away, the pain of losing it will be magnified by the hope I invested. It's the classic, "I don't want to get my hopes up" approach to life. It is dumb. I know.

So though it's just a new header today, this is a big deal to me. This is me admitting, "I'm all in." This is me saying, "Hey, I'm Jon Acuff and I love this site and this community and feel like we've only just got started on what we can do." Is that a silly thing to think about a header? Maybe, but then, I am silly.

There are also three other things I am really excited about:

1.    The archives are complete

Prior to today, if you went to the archives section of this site, you could read posts 1-500. That would be great if we didn't have more than 900 posts. That wildly incomplete list made it a hassle to read from 1-900 or to find old posts. Today, the archives are finally complete!

2.    JonAcuff.com

If you look at the address bar, you'll notice that it says, "jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike. (Typing www.stuffchristianslike.net will still get you here so don't worry about typing a new address.) Why the change? There are a few reasons. The first is that we're starting a new blog soon and didn't want to have completely different addresses and platforms. We wanted everything connected together and easy to navigate. And we couldn't get the .com version of StuffChristiansLike. A 1957 Chevy Dealer is squatting on it. It made more sense to build the long term plan off of the thing we owned, jonacuff.com, instead of the thing we didn't own.

3.    More graphics

The other reason I like the header is that I'm trying to do a better job of using graphics on the site. It will still be super clean and not cluttered and put the focus on the words, but it turns out people are now able to upload photos online and actually enjoy imagery on blogs. So in addition to my mug in the header, I'm going to try to do a better job showcasing photos, and maybe even incorporating your photos in posts. (The metrosexual worship leader post would be so much better for instance if worship leaders could submit their photos and we could make a slide show.) (I also like the header because it visually summarizes the site's goal to "clear the clutter of Christianity, so that we can see the beauty of Christ." It's about bringing into focus the things that matter most.)

I'm excited about the changes and what's ahead. Thank you so much for the endless support you've given me that has made all of this possible.

Thinking every other Christian but you has it all together.

I didn't cry when I got back in the car with my mother-in-law, but it was only because I didn't want to miss my flight. Plus, when flying out of Atlanta, it's always best to save your tears for the airport. It will break you. It's a mashup of Mad Max's terrordome, the Lord of the Flies and flights that run at ish time. As in "you'll fly out at 4-ish," or "Your plane isn't here yet but should be soon-ish."

But that day I wasn't sad about the airport. Prior to getting in the car with my mother-in-law I had spent two hours inside an advertising agency trying to get a job. My wife and I lived outside of Boston in Arlington, Massachusetts but we wanted to move to Georgia. We'd had our first daughter, the snow was killing my Florida-born, Georgia-raised wife and it was time to move closer to family.

I couldn't find a job though.

On my first flight down to have breakfast with a friend's contact, the person I met with refused to accept a copy of my resume. The entire purpose of the trip was to meet this person and in our unexpectedly terse breakfast meeting he said, "I don't know anyone in Atlanta in advertising and no, I don't want a copy of your resume."

That meeting was not particularly awesome but, he actually did know someone in Atlanta in advertising. His relative worked at an ad agency and over a period of weeks, I arranged a meeting with her.

I spent days and days putting together my portfolio, a copywriter's toolkit to showcase the best work they've done. I was really proud of it and showed up bright and early at the meeting at the agency. This wasn't an interview though. Nobody in Atlanta would see me for an interview. I spent that day driving around Atlanta with my mother-in-law who lived there, dropping off resumes and mini portfolios at any agency I could find.

So although I had flown down for the sole purpose of meeting this contact at an ad agency, this was not something formal or promising. I was desperate at this point and greatly appreciated the 20 casual minutes she gave me talking about what it was like to work in advertising in Atlanta.

On the way out, she walked me by someone's office and said, "You should meet Mark." Turns out Mark was an Atlanta advertising expert. He taught at the Portfolio Center, a two-year advertising master's program. Mark invited me into his office and we ended up talking for an hour. He asked to see my portfolio, the one I had killed myself to put together. I thought inside, "Here comes my big break!"

By page two though, he was shaking his head in disappointment. I don't remember if he finished looking at the entire thing or not because my head started to spin and I thought I was going to throw up. What I do remember is that he took out two other portfolios. A good one and a bad one. He showed me what a writer's portfolio should look like and it was nothing like mine. I don't think I was even close to his bad example at that point. Six years into my career and my portfolio was pitiful.

At that point, I just wanted to throw out a smoke bomb, slide out of my seat to the floor and crawl for the exit and my mother in law who was waiting patiently in the parking lot. But the moment wasn't over. Mark called the admin in and asked for the box of portfolios from people who had submitted them to this agency. It was the size of a coffin for a pony. He then said, "Sit at an empty desk and go through these. See what you can learn."

In the middle of an office I'd never been in, without cubicle walls, I sat at someone's seat who was out to lunch and started to leaf through dozens of portfolios from people who were better than me. It was meant as a lesson, and Mark was incredibly kind to me that day, but the words I heard where probably not the words he intended. Flipping through those portfolios, here is the message I got.

"You're not a real writer."

"These people, these portfolios, these are real writers."

"They've got it all together. You don't. They went to graduate school for two years. You hacked together a portfolio in your kitchen and then flew a thousand miles for a 20 minute conversation? You're not a real writer."

That phrase, "real writer" is a curious one to me because I think it translates across so much more than just our careers. I think sometimes, if we're not careful, we can start to hear it in our faith.

I've felt that in the last couple weeks as I've wrestled with the anxiety and opportunity of writing my next book. I feel stressed about it and tangled up with fear and worry and happiness and hope and a potpourri of emotions. And into that I hear the siren's call that tells me,

"If you were a real Christian, you wouldn't ever doubt."

"If you were a real Christian, you wouldn't feel this way."

"If you were a real Christian, you wouldn't keep making the same mistakes over and over again even though you try your hardest not to."

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever looked at another Christian and thought, "That person has it all together. They have it all figured out. They'd never feel like I do right now or stumble like me. That person is a real Christian. I'm some sort of counterfeit."

I can't imagine I am the only one who has ever wrestled with that. So for you and me, I want to remind of something.

Real Christians struggle with doubt.

Real Christians feel sad and even mourn.

Real Christians don't have all the answers.

Real Christians make mistakes.

Real Christians need grace, constantly.

Above all, I think "Real Christian" is actually a fake term. It's a phrase the devil constructed to keep us searching and striving and dying to achieve a label the Lord doesn't even use.

What does He call us? What phrase or words does he give us instead of "Real Christian?"

Son.

Daughter.

And it turns out, those two words are enough.

#8 in 2010: Twitter.

Last August, I put together the 32 things every Christian needs to remember about Twitter. I might add some new ones to this at some point, but I still think these are all true. Especially #11.

Twitter.

Last week, Rick Warren tweeted something that got people all fired up.

I didn't see the original tweet at first but based on the reaction, I thought he had said,

"I stole the idea for 'Purpose Driven Life' from an episode of Saved by the Bell where Zack realizes his band Zack Attack is not his purpose"

Turns out that wasn't what he tweeted. It was a lot less inflammatory than that. In fact, I think if he had yelled the same thing he tweeted from a conference stage, we all would have seen it as a challenge and at worst done a "Oh no you didn't!" reminiscent of Gina from the show, "Martin."

A day after that, Carlos Whittaker, who currently writes 27% of all Christian tweets, announced he was quitting twitter. Fortunately, cause Carlos is one of my favorite people on twitter, he was just kidding but people still got a little stirred up. Then, I got some hate mail for challenging pastor Matt Chandler to a dance off.

It was a perfect storm of twitter and it made me realize we needed a "Christian twitter handbook." Some document we could refer to and dissect and disagree with but in the process at least discuss this communication medium.

So today, that's what I did. I'm not a Twitter expert, but these are the things I've learned on the mean streets of Twitter in the last year. (Each headline is the length of a tweet with a longer explanation under it if necessary.)

Christian Twitter Guidelines

1. Beware "the boy who cried retweet." If you retweet everyone, you might as well retweet no one.

2. A photo online is forever. Don't tweet a picture unless you're ready for it to exist forever online.

3. If their Twitter profile lists "tickle fights" and "wearing bikinis" as their hobbies, they're not real.

4. Complaining that someone you follow "tweets too much," is the peak of Twitter selfishness.

What you're saying is, "I know you have 200 followers, but I feel like you should have checked with me on the number of tweets I tolerate a day. It's 7. And you just tweeted your eighth time of the day."

5. If you're a pastor, you are contractually obligated to tweet how hott your wife is or that you married up or out of your league.

6. When you write a rude tweet to tell someone they were rude, you create such a forcefield of irony it makes Alanis Morissette's teeth hurt

7. Worrying about someone hating you is like chasing down a car that gave you the middle finger on the highway. Let it go.

8. Don't make grand claims you won't fulfill. I once promised to tweet through a section of the Bible. I didn't. Epic fail on me.

9. Always, always double check that you're sending a private direct message not a public tweet. Switching the two is not so awesome.

10. If a tweet gets retweeted a bunch, avoid the temptation to write 47 versions of that tweet. Quit tweeting a dead horse.

11. "Do what you love and you will find someone who loves the same thing; don't look for love. Don't beg for love, or suffer for love."

You know who write that positive message? Snooki from the Jersey Shore show on MTV. Everyone and their grandmother tweets affirmations. Be careful that your amount of positive messages don't make other people feel negative. I'm not above writing the odd positive tweet myself, but when you rainbow it all day, it can feel fake.

12. Don't tweet holier than you normally talk. Don't get seminary mouth all of the sudden when you get on Twitter.

13. Asking for a retweet is a bad way to first introduce yourself to someone. Make friends, not favors on twitter.

14. A smiley face is twitter's version of "bless her heart." You can't tweet a jerk statement and then think ending it with a erases it.

15. If you're married, you have 2 options for your photo: you kissing your spouse or a photo from your wedding.

16. Keep your name short. Your email address might be "GodismykingIpraisehiminthemorning777" but that's too long to retweet.

17. Twitter has a 2 to 1 sarcasm ratio. For every 2 people who get your sarcasm, 1 person will take you seriously and think you're a jerk.

18. Sending a link is like sending a piece of your reputation, send it carefully.

19. Don't be 2 different people on twitter. Tweet the way you live. If you wouldn't say something flirty in "real life," don't on Twitter.

20. Twitter is tone deaf. Be hyper careful about trying to speak subtly on Twitter. Words can be misinterpreted very, very easily.

21. Don't become a "Christian Provocateur." That's great your church is doing a sermon on sex. Just don't create fake sexy tweets for "buzz"

22. Focus on tweeting something vital, not something viral.

23. Don't "twudge," which is just twitter's version of judging someone's entire soul based on a 140-character tweet.

24. Don't create silly words using the tw prefix. That goes for me too, "twudge?" Good grief! It's so tempting though or twempting.

25. Don't mistake number of followers on twitter for success on twitter. Measure quality of interactions not quantity of interactions.

26. Twitter is just a medium. Don't fall so deeply in love that you think it won't disappear or evolve like every other medium.

27. Resist the temptation to "turn on a speaker" during a conference. Public tweets are great for compliments, but bad for criticism.

I've seen this happen with hashtags, the way people can collectively see tweets about a certain subject. As a speaker, I love feedback from people in the crowd about what I'm talking about. But I think you should email or direct message your criticism and publically tweet your compliments. The ability to sway a crowd into a negative space is pretty massive. And let's be honest, if during the middle of a conference speech you verbally screamed out, "That last point was whack!" your friends would sit somewhere else.

28. There needs to be some international sign that means, "I'm tweeting lines from the sermon during church."

Right now, people think you're playing Angry Birds if you use your iPhone during church. Until we have that sign, just do what I do and yell, "I'm tweeting the sermon!"

29. Look at a whole web page before you send a link to one thing you like on it.

A number of times I'll be about to use twitpic and realize there's a half naked photo for American Apparel on the page that is hosting the photo. I use the direct link option on image shack. You can't be held accountable for the whole web, but be careful.

30. Twitter time is different from real time. Responding to a tweet from last week is like referencing the 1840s. Stay current or stay quiet

31. Unfortunately, 140 characters will not allow you to use a Christian email signature like, "In his grip," in each tweet.

32. Be careful about sending someone an automatic direct message when they follow you. I've never had a good experience with one of those.

Do you use twitter?

If so, comment with your name so we can all follow you. (You can follow me @jonacuff)

Or, help me finish this list. It's woefully incomplete and I am sure you have some solid ideas.

What is a twitter guideline you would suggest?

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Raising kids who get the Bible stories all crazy.

A few years ago, when we lived in Atlanta, my oldest daughter said something about a Bible story that caught me off guard.

We were driving down the highway, something you do in Atlanta 47% of the time you live there, and she started singing a Bible song. "Oh," I thought, "a Bible song. That's adorable. I'm pretty sure an angel gets a skateboard when a four year old sings a Bible song."

Then she started in on a new song and I knew I was a horrible parent. Here is what she sang,

"IKEA was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he."

Oh Sneigletrun! (That's a swear in Swedish or it's the name of a lamp at IKEA, hard to be certain.) Instead of saying "Zacchaeus," my daughter was substituting in the ultra modern, ultra cheap furniture manufacturer. It makes sense though. IKEA has cinnamon rolls the size of a Frisbee. Church has goldfish. To a four year old who based her opinion on quality of treats, it's easy to see why she got the lyrics wrong.

Fast forward to last Sunday. L.E. is reading the Chronicles of Narnia and tells me about the witch offering someone an apple. Feeling like I'm a way better parent now and we've moved beyond the "IKEA Syndrome," I ask my kids what other story they know about that involves an apple. McRae, my 5 year old instantly yells, "I know! I know!"

I think, "Perfect, we're about to talk about Adam and Eve and the book of Genesis!" I ask McRae, "What other story has an apple in it?"

She smiles and replies, "Snow white."

Tell me I'm not the most horrible Christian parent ever. Has something like that ever happened to you?

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Precisely predicting the end of the world.

I have a confession. And it is a little embarrassing.

In 1999, in the weeks before the feared collapse of all technology and the possible zombie colonization of America, I bought a few gallons of water. I didn't think the world was going to end, but for some reason I was pretty sure that I needed 14 gallons of water in my parent's basement.

I'm not sure that would have been long enough to survive on after civilization's collapse but I could have at least used it to walk to a major city with my son, in search of my wife who may have become part of the undead masses. I think my life just merged with a graphic novel/television show since I don't have a son, but I did buy those waters out of fear.

I blame the Y2K gun show I attended as a people watching adventure. It was in Alabama and people were saying things like, "When the banks collapse, bullets will be currency." I considered getting a book on curing your own squirrel jerky, but instead bought a t-shirt that said, "Suburban Self-Reliance, if you can't get out, you better get ready." Awesome.

So when I recently saw a billboard that advertised the coming apocalypse, my old feelings of water storage were stirred up. I'm not sure if you have these billboards in your state, but here is what they say:

"HE is coming again! May 21, 2011."

There are a few things I think about this:

1. The 7th grade version of me would have been terrified.

13-year-old Jon Acuff would have been horrified to hear this news. Not so much because of the end of the world but because I wanted to get married before Jesus came back and well… I talked about this in the first chapter of the Stuff Christians Like book. It's embarrassing, but in the 7th grade I had a few things I wanted to accomplish before the return of Christ.

2. The dead birds falling from the sky can't have helped.

I recently read an article by a biologist who said mass deaths by certain species are very common, but often go unnoticed by the media. Doesn't matter. The bird deaths reported recently are definitely going to add fuel to an end of the world fire.

3. Wasn't the end of the world predicted when I was in high school?

I distinctly remember seeing a poster with a red cross on a telephone pole proclaiming the end of the world. (When I was in high school in 1992, hanging things on telephone poles was our version of the Internet.) I sat in class, probably thinking about the immense talent of Gerardo, which was clearly displayed in "Rico Suave," and how much I loved shopping at the Chess King.

4. Does it say May 21, 2011 in the Bible?

I've read the Bible completely through and never saw it explicitly mentioned. It's possible it was in a genealogy list that I "scripture skimmed," but I feel like I would have seen that.

5. Doesn't it say we won't know when the end times are in the Bible?

Matthew 24:36 say, "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." And that wasn't a disciple saying that, that was Jesus. We're talking red letters. Maybe the Message version of the Bible says, "but only the Father and certain billboards on 65 North outside of Nashville," but I doubt it.

6. Is anyone going to let California know?

I have no fear that these warnings are spread across the southern states, but is anyone going to tell California what's happening on May 21? Mike Foster lives there. Carlos Whittaker visits often. There might not be as many churches there, but if Tennessee is part of the Bible Belt, I consider California to be the Bible Sunglasses. Somebody better give California a heads up.

7. Are we trying to beat the Mayans?

Isn't there a Mayan calendar from days gone by that predicts the end of the world in 2012? I know there's a stunning film, a work of art captured in two hours of perfection that makes "Citizen Kane" and "Gone with the Wind" look like drivel, but isn't there a Mayan calendar prediction? Are we racing that?

Those are the seven, exact things that go through my mind in the split second when I drive by those billboards. Then my wife says, "Are you writing a post in your head right now?" And I say, "That's crazy talk! I love you. You're so pretty!"

Am I the only one who has seen this billboard? Are they in your town too? Am I the only one who deep, deep down inside with 2% of myself thinks, "what if they're right?"

What's your take?

Is the world ending on May 21, 2011?

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#9 in 2010: Loving or Hating Glee.

I've still never seen a whole episode of Glee. Not because I don't like the show, but more that I'm waiting for them to do an Emilio Estevez themed episode. I feel like 87% of all celebrities have been on that show at this point. But folks love that show. Or they hate it, it's definitely one of those. Here is the number #9 most popular post on Stuff Christians Like from 2010.

Loving or Hating Glee.

As the nights turn cold and the days grow short, I can't help but think of one thing. As leaves burst with color and wood fire places light across the Tennessee hills I find myself in, there is one thought that I can't shake. As the season and sunsets turn into a kind of Thomas Kinkade/Yankee Candle mashup worthy of Double Rainbow strength awe and wonder, one thought is bursting across the landscape of my heart and soul …

It's almost time to break out Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas album.

Easily the greatest Christmas album of all time, Merry Christmas is a steady jam of the best holiday songs ever. From the ridiculously awesome "All I want for Christmas is you," to the gospel choir backed, "Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child," the whole album is a mistletoe flavored cotton candy explosion of perfection. And there's a part two being released this year. (She should title it either, "Merry Christmas II, the revenge," or "Son of Merry Christmas." You can have those for free Mariah!)

But when I tweeted about the album recently I was surprised how the responses only came in two varieties.

Some people loved it.

Some people hated it.

There was absolutely no middle ground. No one "kind of liked" it. You either passionately recognized it as the gift to humanity it is or you blindly missed how wonderful it is.

And the same thing is happening with Christians and the show "Glee."

If you've never seen it, heard about it, been shamed by a friend who is mad you're not watching it or "Modern Family," then let me quickly describe it. Glee is a comedy/drama/musical centered on a glee club at a high school. Despite leaning heavily on "theme episodes," they often tackle tough social issues in some surprising ways. It's blown up in the last year. So much so, that bands who initially refused to let them use their music have come around. When I tweeted that Coldplay said no to Glee, people told me that was because Coldplay had too much "integrity." Then the ratings exploded and Coldplay apologized to Glee and asked them to use their music.

But what I keep noticing is that there are two popular Christian reactions to Glee:

1. You've got to watch it!

In church on Sunday a friend described to me some of the Christian undertones and discussion that often peppers the script of Glee. Then someone else tweeted me and implored me to not only watch it, but write about it. "It's awesome! You would be crazy not to be watching it!" That's what some people tell me.

2. I can only assume that satan is the executive producer of Glee.

Worst show ever. In addition to butchering Journey songs, they're pushing a really horrible agenda on us. It's garbage. I would sooner slow dance with the Golden Compass or share a sleeping bag with a bunch of Harry Potter books. I hate that show and all Christians should.

There's no middle ground. You hate it or you love it. Or so it would appear. I've not watched a whole season and don't have a firm opinion on Glee. (I don't love it as much as I love the new music from Mumford and Sons for instance or Alpha Rev.)

How about you though?

Do you watch Glee?

What's your take?

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