Jon Acuff's Blog, page 155

The trouble with fruit.

I'm starting to hate Gordo.

At first, he seemed like a good guy. Always around, up for a good time, he was the life of a party. Now though, after spending a few months with him, I beginning to think he might be a bad influence.

On my pants.

Over the last few months I've been hanging out way too much with "Gordo's Cheese Dip," the microwaveable version of queso that Walmart sells. I put on 10 pounds and several pairs of my pants are suddenly too short. At first I hoped it was the arrival of my much prayed for late growth spurt that would add a foot to my height, thus allowing me to dunk. But unfortunately that is not the case.

Now clearly, 10 extra pounds is not a massive crisis, but let's do the math. I gained 10lbs in four months. Over a year, that's a potential 30 extra pounds. That is a big deal. So I did what I did in college to get in shape, I ran three times and thought about being healthy. But apparently, your metabolism goes on sabbatical when you turn 35 because that did nothing.

Frustrated, and now wearing pants from the "husky" side of my closet, I decided something needed to change. I started eating a slow carb diet. I read that people who keep food photo diaries made better eating decisions so I started to take a photo of all my meals. I stopped eating snacks after dinner and quit drinking soda. I started going to a trainer three days a week with some buddies from work.

And in the middle of this new found discipline, I realized something disappointing:

I apply more focus and purpose to my diet than I do my deity.

With gusto I was now devouring spinach and drinking massive amounts of water. I was eating legumes by the bushel, two words I had never even used before. I was killing myself in the gym with a football style weight sled called the "prowler." I made a commitment to being healthy and was executing that commitment with ferocity.

All the while ignoring my faith.

I'd read the Bible, if I thought of it.

I'd grab a quiet time, if nothing else came up.

I'd pray in between things, if I could fit God into the margins of my day.

And although my pants started to fit better after a few weeks, my heart and soul continued to suffer as I treated God like a casual hobby, not a critical savior. Have you ever done that? Have you ever said, "I just have such a hard time maintaining a consistent quiet time! I'm just not good at forming habits!" Meanwhile, your diet is on point, you never miss an episode of your favorite TV show and your weekly progress reports to your boss are a well organized thing of beauty.

I probably wouldn't have been so bothered by my realization about my diet if the Bible was fuzzy on this issue, but it is unfortunately not. Here is what Proverbs 3:9 says:

"Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops"

That word, "firstfruits" is a powerful one. We're not called to give God the last scraps of our fruit, the remainder, but rather the "firstfruits." Now clearly, there are financial ramifications to that verse, but what if it's bigger than that? What if we're called to give:

The firstfruits of our time.

The firstfruits of our creativity.

The firstfruits of our focus.

The firstfruits of our energy.

The firstfruits of our love.

Can you imagine what church would be like if members gave the firstfruits of their creativity to the Lord? We complain that the church is cheesy sometimes. Of course it is, we've been feeding it rotten fruit.

Can you imagine what church would be like if we gave the firstfruits of our love? We like to take shots at the church for being unloving and judgmental. Of course it is, we've been feeding it rotten fruit.

Can you imagine what it would be like for your life if you gave God the firstfruits of your time? I can't because all too often I've given him rotten fruit. But I'm trying to change that and I've already learned something new in the process.

When I give God my firstfruits in the morning, when I start the day with him, it's like putting on 3D glasses. The rest of the day looks different. I can see his hand more clearly, hear his voice louder, and feel his touch closer.

I'm not perfect at the firstfruits concept. At heart, this is an "I'm failing, but don't want to" post. But with grace and hope, I'm working on being more deliberate with my firstfruits.

Let's stop giving God our last fruits.

#5 in 2010: Leaving church before it's over.

(I'd like to take credit for the popularity of this post, but I can't. I told a friend's story about something his kid did in the middle of church that was hilarious. That's why this post is on the top 10 list of 2010. Thank goodness for 4 year olds who will scream funny things in the middle of church.)

Leaving church before it's over.

Last week, I spoke in San Diego about the impact of Christ in the Denzel Washington movie, "Man on Fire." And for the most part it was a pretty good experience.

Why just, "for the most part?"

Well, about five minutes into my talk, two people got up and left. Not together, they left individually at different times. Then midway through, two people came in, listened for a minute and then walked back out. Normally, four people leaving wouldn't be a big deal. But there were only 25 people in the room. So those four people represented 16% of the audience. As a speaker, you are highly aware of someone on the second row of a 25-person crowd deciding, "This is whack, I'm going to bounce."

In my head, I instantly thought:

1. Did I swear? I don't feel like I did, but did I start off this talk with profanity?

2. I was talking about prayer. Did they hate me joking about telling people you'll pray for them and then forgetting to?

3. Couldn't they have at least pretended to receive a phone call and whispered, "An orphanage caught on fire and you need me to help put it out? I hate to leave this awesome speech by Jon Acuff, but OK!"

I pushed through my insecurities and ended up actually talking about it at the end of the speech. Everyone who was still there laughed and admitted, that was wicked awkward.

But as uncomfortable as that was, it's nothing compared to what happened to my friends from Texas. They were looking for a new church and visited one on a Sunday morning. They were a little late and the church was so full they asked my friends to sit in the crying room with the screaming babies. (If you're a member, this was a great time to scoot to the middle and make room, versus make a visitor sit in the wailing room, but I digress.)

Ten minutes into the service, they knew this was not going to be the right fit for them and sitting in the yelling closet wasn't awesome, so they left. As they entered the sanctuary to walk out the back, their four year old yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, "Dad, we're leaving! Why are we leaving? Why dad, why are we leaving? It's not over yet!"

Then he started telling them that he wanted to take the elevator instead of the stairs, something they had promised on the way in. (Elevators are like suburban roller coasters for 4 year olds.) As their son trumpeted their exit, my friend grabbed him like a cord of fire wood under one arm and ran down the stairs like a bank robber.

Awesome. That makes me feel a little better about what happened to me.

But it does make me curious about two things:

1. Have you ever left church before it was over? If so, why?

2. What's the craziest, most embarrassing thing your kid has done in church?

Creating a "Cone of Silence" when you miss your favorite team because of church.

I didn't do this. Last Sunday, despite the NFL playoffs, we went to church at the time we do every week. I didn't rearrange my entire day of worship because of some silly football game. But then I didn't have to, the Patriots game was at 3:30 central.

Despite living in Atlanta for the last six years, I grew up in Massachusetts. Though I root for the Falcons, the Patriots are the team I care about most. And since I wrote this post before the game was played on Sunday, allow me to react to what may have been the outcome:

1. The Patriots won, God is good!

Hard to believe they beat the Jets like that but after all the trash the Jets were talking, it makes sense. God hates football trash talk. That idea was discussed somewhere in the Old Testament when David and his ragtag posse played against the Philistines in a game of pickup football. (For some reason I think I remember Burt Reynolds played quarterback.) God is good!

2. The Patriots lost, God is good!

There's more to life than football and once again, God reminded me of that. I regret that the Patriots lost, but would never trade the lesson in humility I received for something as hollow as a playoff victory. Plus, now instead of wasting time watching the Super Bowl, I'll have more time to read my Bible. It's just a game. God is good!

Regardless of the outcome of the game, I've got both of my bases covered. Best of all, I'll be watching the game live, instead of Tivoing it while I'm at church. This happens sometimes though. Whether you're a Tar Heel watching college basketball or a Brit watching Manchester United, church obligations take precedence over sports regardless of it's a Sunday, Wednesday or any other day of the week.

If you have the ability to tape it and watch it later, you have to create a "Cone of Silence" to ensure you don't learn the outcome before you watch the recording. Here are four things you need to remember:

1. Don't talk to anyone in the lobby.

OK, you went to the 12:30 service. You just got out and you've got the Chicago Bears game taping at home. Do not talk with anyone in the lobby. Fellowship, schmellowship. Build community next Sunday. The chances of a friend accidentally giving you a first quarter score update are too high.

2. Start all your conversations on that Sunday with the right phrase.

What's the right phrase to say if anyone even makes eye contact with you? "I haven't seen the Chicago game yet!" That's a weird thing to yell at a stranger during the meet and greet time of a 6:00PM church service, but sometimes you can't watch the game right away. Throw out that disclaimer the moment you engage with anyone in conversation.

3. Beware the guy who reads the announcements.

The guy or girl who reads the announcements at church is always tempted to ad lib a little. Beware the casual, "We'll be holding a kids' event next weekend. Hopefully it will be better than that Patriots game. Jeez, that was ugly." I'm not suggesting you put your fingers in your ears and repeat, "I don't hear you, I don't hear you" loudly to yourself while shaking back and forth in the pew, but would it kill you to leave and go to the bathroom during the announcements?

4. Don't brag about it.

Your grandfather used to play for the Steelers? Your dad helped build the new stadium? You were named after Terry Bradshaw? You have a Steelers tattoo and yet you still decided to come to church and record the game out of love for the Lord? Well guess what? Like someone bragging about a fast, you just received your reward. The glory of man, not the glory of God. I hope you're happy. Was it worth it?

I hope these tips prove helpful for the NFL playoffs and any other sporting event that bumps into a church obligation you have. Just remember, a Sunday Cone of Silence has about a 12 hour shelf life. If you tape the game and don't get to watch it for a few days, all bets are off. Don't be that friend who waited a week to watch the finale of Lost and then yelled at everyone else for talking about it.

What's your favorite team? Who would you build a Cone of Silence for?

Office Prayers.

Last Monday morning, I had a meeting scheduled at 11:30AM to discuss the title of my new book with Dave Ramsey. He's sold millions of books and written a couple of New York Time's Bestsellers. I was eager for his advice.

The weekend before, I practiced my ten-minute, "Here is why this title is the best one," monologue like it was a speech. I sat down in our spare bedroom, because I knew I'd be sitting in the meeting and recreated the meeting as closely as possible. (I am wicked weird.)

I went through the whole thing a couple of times, timing myself to make sure I had my rhythm right and was making only the most salient points. I was ready for my 11:30AM meeting. That is until 10:03, when my phone rang and the person who hired me told me, "Dave's up in my office, come on up let's go ahead and do this right now."

I immediately threw out what I call an "office prayer." Why? Because I needed the printer to work. I already had one copy of the agenda printed out but now the number of attendees had tripled in size. I needed to print multiple copies and I needed them fast. I can't prove this, but sometimes I think our printer can sense dire need like dogs sense fear and automatically slows itself down just to mess with me. So I prayed for a fast print job.

Have you ever prayed an office prayer? I know I have over the last 12 years I've worked in offices of various shapes and sizes.

Here are the Office Prayers I've prayed the most:

1. That I would show grace to the guy who turns on the lights.

I once worked at a company where 25 of us liked to work with the bright, soul sucking fluorescent lights off. And one guy liked them on. He'd come in for the second shift at 10AM and laugh the whole way down the hall because he loved messing with the people who preferred the lights off. (A light switch is a weird thing to get a power trip over, but there it is. I promise you work with this guy too.) I need to show guys like that way more grace.

2. That no one would heat up seafood in the break room.

I'm happy that you had conch fritters last night at the new Caribbean restaurant in town. And you got sea bass too? Again, fantastic. But when you heat it up the next day at work, you turn the entire break room into a pier. If my prayer fails, and you do get all "Dead Lobster" in our cubicles, at least don't feign surprise at the oceanic funk you've created. Every office seafood eater I've ever met has said, "I don't know what that smell is, must be someone else's lunch." Sure it is.

3. That I wouldn't get into any "urinal conversations."

It's a bathroom, not a conference room. I don't talk to you, you don't talk to me, and we'll get out of this place quickly. We'll talk in the hall. Unless what you need to say is, "There is a poisonous spider on your back, don't move," chances are, our conversation can wait 42 seconds. Does that make me weird? Without a doubt, but I will also never answer the phone while in the bathroom if you call me. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

4. That I would discover leftover food from a meeting, or "Office Manna."

My favorite flavor of food is "free." In general, I find free food to be pretty delicious as a category. When I worked at AutoTrader.com we went through a serious of intense projects. In order to save time, the company graciously brought in lunch for us. There was a hall of conference rooms that became like a food court. Want Mexican? Go to the room with all the developers. Italian? Check out the project management room. Finding leftovers from meetings in a conference room was like "Office Manna" to me.

5. That I'd resist the temptation to jump people at the printer.

I know given my street youth appearance and sassy mouth, you probably thought I meant, "jump" as in fight. Not at all. On some printers, when there is a long list of print jobs going through, you can increase the priority of yours. You go to the "job list," find your document in a pile of 20 other jobs and jump it to the front. A lot of people don't know how to do that, but I do because I did it all the time if no one was at the printer. (So I was a jerk and a coward.) I know printer etiquette isn't mentioned directly in the Bible, but the "first shall be last" kind of thing has to apply to office settings too.

6. That I would win the microwave race.

I don't care if your lunch takes 19 minutes to heat up. That's the whole point of a break room microwave. It heats up lunch. I will never complain that your food is taking too long. But I promise you that I will be praying I beat you to the microwave. I consider that a fantastic office race, "first to the microwave."

7. That I have the strength of three staplers.

What's your personal best for number of pieces of paper you can staple through with a standard issue stapler? Mine is 23. When I attempt 24, I end up with that incredibly disappointing, bent out of control, sharp shard of a staple that refuses to go through all the pages but also refuses to come out easily. It's a mangled mess. Sometimes I pray for Samson like staple strength.

Have you ever prayed one of those seven or invented your own? Have you ever said an office prayer that upon uttering you realized was pretty silly?

What's your office prayer?

#6 in 2010: Sex

(This post had a life of it's own. CNN.com picked it up and ran it on their homepage, which was fun, but often caused friends we hadn't heard from in years to email my wife and say, "I saw your sex life on CNN the other day." Awesome. But I think it's a good discussion to have and I might be going to a Christian college to do a talk about this post this spring. I think that will be a blast. Here's the #6 most popular post from 2010.)

Sex

The other day, pop princess Katy Perry said something interesting:

"I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen."

I disagree.

Although that specific quote was about Lady Gaga, I think it's indicative of something much bigger and much worse. Put simply, our culture has divorced God from sex.

I've long said that popular culture often acts as if God might have invented humanity and thus sex, but he was completely caught off guard that sex was an enjoyable activity. He was convinced it was a very clinical activity designed for baby making. But then Prince showed up and told us all that sex was in fact awesome. Upon hearing this, God was as shocked as I was the first time I used the Shazam app on my iPhone to automatically tell me the name of a song I was listening simply by me holding up my phone near the speaker. (I swear, that thing is voodoo.)

That's what we've been told. That God and sex don't go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it's true. Even pastor's kids like Katy Perry will reinforce the barrier between God and sex. You can't have both in the same bottle. They're oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don't go together.

So what has our response been to this dynamic, to the idea that God and sex shouldn't be in the same sentence?

I'd love to say Christianity has knocked it out of the park and ransomed the beauty of this gift from the world, but I'm not sure we have. In fact, I think we've caused our own damage in four ways:

1. Sometimes, we teach guilt, not abstinence.

I touched on this a little in the Stuff Christians Like book. Lots of our churches and youth groups teach kids for years that "Sex before marriage is bad." And I agree with that message. I've seen the damages of pre-marital sex hundreds of times. The challenge though is that's only half of the message. I wish when we taught abstinence we would say, "Sex before marriage is bad, but sex when you're married is awesome." Because what happens is that during your formative teenage years you hear over and over again about how bad sex before marriage is. And your head and heart shorthand that idea and just tell you that, "Sex is bad." Then you get married, on your wedding night, you're supposed to magically, instantly shed all your guilt and fear about sex. We're taught guilt for years and then left on the doorsteps of our marriages to figure it all out by ourselves.

2. We have very few ways to discuss it.

Because of this site, people often send me links to Christian stuff they think is funny. Every now and then, I'll get links to "Christian sex sites." The sites are typically forums where Christians talk in an honest and holy way about their sex lives. Now for the majority of us, that last sentence was weird. Let's be real, our sex lives are not something we collectively talk about a lot in Christian circles. Our finances, our parenting, our jobs, our in-laws, deep regrets from the past, we'll touch on anything in a small group. But broach some sexual topic at your next small group and people will look at you like your F to the E to the R to the G to the I to the E. That's off limits. It's supposed to be beautiful and holy and loving. And yes the world is attacking it everyday in thousands of ways, but you're supposed to discuss that on your own as a couple. Maybe you've had a different experience in small group but we were in one that didn't touch on that subject for the first three years or so.

3. We write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

God Bless the stuff folks like xxxchurch.com are doing. Buy Breaking Free or the Samson Pirate book. I love both of those. I'm happy for all the work that's being done to free people from the bondage of sexual addiction. But I wish that for every time I heard about the poison of lust, I heard about the perfection of love. I wish every time someone preached on the problem of sex, someone preached about the untamed awesomeness of sex. The conversation has become very one sided when it comes to Christians and sex.

4. We've made the crayon box pretty small.

Have you ever prayed before sex? Have you ever applied every ounce of God given creativity you have to it? Have you ever made a Christian songs sex tape? OK, that last one is impossible, Michael W. Smith just doesn't make music like Sisqo. But seriously, I think to some degree we've bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us get to have black and white, two dimension sex. But what if that's wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy, wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

Those are the problems, or rather some of them, but what's the solution? What's the answer? What's the fix? Those are fair questions, but there's no way I could possibly solve the sex situation in a blog post. Here though is what I hope.

I hope that every time we say sex before marriage is harmful, we'll say "sex after marriage is neon awesome." I hope that some well-designed, honest Christian sex site will launch. (Feel free to use the variation, "Sexy Stuff Christians Like.") I hope that Thomas Nelson and Zondervan and Baker and some other folks will release some wild books about the goodness of Christian sex.

Until then though, until all of those things happen, you should at least go download Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," the Sundays, "Wild Horses," and Mazzy Star's "Fade into You." Those are all some pretty fantastic make out songs.

Your turn, what are your thoughts on this subject? Are we Christians getting it right or wrong when it comes to sex?

#1 reason people won't listen to your ideas + why dreaming isn't enough.

One of my goals for 2011 is to do more video blogging. Today felt like a good time to start that.

The team at Dave Ramsey put together this 3 minute clip of me talking about two things:

1. Why people ignore our ideas and how to change that.

2. Why just dreaming about what you want to do isn't enough. (The core of my next book.)

Check it out after the continue.

2 ways you literally changed the world.

Friday is usually guest post day, but today I wanted to do something a little different. I recently got two really exciting updates about the projects readers of Stuff Christians Like did in Vietnam and Uganda. I'd like to share those with you.

Vietnam

As many of you know, in November of 2009, we asked a pretty simple question, "What if?" What if a bunch of strangers came together and were able to raise $30,000 to build a kindergarten with Samaritan's Purse in Vietnam? We thought it would take us six weeks to raise the money. We were wrong.

We raised the $30,000 in 18 hours.

Realizing how badly we had underestimated the massiveness of God, we doubled down and decided to build a second one. We ended up raising another $30,000 and securing a total of $60,000 in 25 days. Here's the full story if you would like to read it. (Big thank you to Wes Molebash, who illustrated the whole adventure with a metrosexual worship leader!)

Last week, my amazing contact Darren at Samaritan's Purse sent me a photo of the plaques that will be on the kindergartens and it was hard to not get choked up. Here's the plaque that will be on the kindergartens, halfway around the world in the jungles of Vietnam:

"Provided by Samaritan's Purse and the Readers of SCL"

That's us! Because of God's awesomeness and the readers of a blog, two villages in Vietnam are forever changed! Jenny and I are trying to figure out how we can go visit the kindergartens when they're open.

Here's a photo of one of the kindergartens, which should be completed this spring. (My assumption is that the bird in the photo is some sort of worship eagle mascot. )

Uganda

Last October, we partnered with SafeWorldNexus to do the SCL10K. The goal was to raise $10,000 in 24 hours to save lives from malaria by purchasing mosquito nets. We hit our goal in about 2.5 hours and ended up raising more than $33,000. Matt Chambers, the head of SafeWorld Nexus sent me an update and an example of the GPS coordinates they are putting together right now to show you where your $10 net went. Here is what Matt wrote:

SCL10K Update

At the beginning of a new faith journey, you never know exactly what the end result will be, and SCL10K was no exception. But in the aftermath, what we're experiencing is much more than we could have ever hoped for! Here's an update on what's happened so far…

600 mosquito nets have been hand-delivered in 4 different villages.

3 of those villages (Munyolwe, Kisango and Njagala Bwami) now have nets covering 99% of the people living there.

We're already receiving reports from some of the earlier net distributions that malaria cases have dropped significantly. We'll have more specific data later, but this is a great beginning!

The village chiefs are so excited about this new project, they insist on going with our distribution teams to each house and they spend extra time making sure their people are using the net properly for maximum effectiveness. This development is very exciting to us because we want this project to empower the local community and help raise up and resource leaders.

The district chief and member of parliament for our 200,000 people target area have both shared with us that they have never seen a project like this, but believe it is absolutely the best way to begin a fight against malaria in the region and will give us whatever support we need.

There are still 2,500 nets to deliver and we believe the impact will continue to be greater than we ever imagined.

We'd like to extend an open invitation to any of you who gave nets to actually travel with us this summer to deliver them to families in Uganda. There are two trips currently scheduled (and we can easily add more): June 2-12 and July 21-31. One of our biggest commitments is to allow people to see exactly where their money is going and this is a way for you to literally place your gift straight into the hands of the family you gave to.

If you'd like to go, or want more info, please email jenn@safeworldnexus.org or write me on twitter @chambers_matt. We'd love to have you along on one of these trips!

Finally, for those of you waiting for your Google Earth coordinates to see exactly where your net went, here's a screen shot of what that will look like. Coordinates will begin going out in the next couple weeks, and the site to view locations will be live by the end of January. Thanks for your patience, it's quite a task to upload thousands of these locations, but we can't wait for you to see them!

Thank you so much again for giving, praying and encouraging. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Grace and peace, Matt Chambers, Co-founder, executive director, SafeWorldNexus

When I get wrapped up in book sales and blog traffic and building a "brand," it's really easy to forget the things that matter most. This post, this is what Stuff Christians Like is about. Thank you for going on this journey with me. You literally changed the world. Your generosity overwhelms me and your compassion is a constant inspiration.

Jon

#7 in 2010: Hating Harry Potter, giving Gandalf a free pass.

(The age old debate. Wizard vs. Wizard. Mano y Mano. Wand to Wand. This was the 7th most popular post on SCL in 2010)

Hating Harry Potter, giving Gandalf a free pass.

Once upon a time, there was a wizard. Though his background was shrouded in mystery, there was little doubt he was the most powerful wizard in the land. He had a deadly enemy, but good friends, including a red headed guy he always hung out with. People that should have loved him, once instead made him spend his nights in a small, prison like room. He rode the backs of winged animals and had a bitter rival who hated him. Christians had an incredibly strong reaction to the books he was in, which were written in the United Kingdom. I am of course talking about …

Gandalf.

That's Gandalf's story. But it reads a little like Harry Potter's doesn't it?

Who knows Gandalf's back story? It's as mysterious as Harry's. (Did you know his last name is MacGargle? True story, Gandalf MacGargle.) Both wizards were powerful and hung out with red heads. Gandalf had Gimli, Harry had Ron. Gandalf was imprisoned on top of the tower by a former friend, Harry was trapped under the stairs by his own family. And Christians have had an incredibly strong reaction to the books.

We love the Lord of the Rings.

We hate the Harry Potter series.

But at the end of the day, they're both kind of magical. Tolkien was a Christian, so in many ways we weave in Christian theology to Gandalf and the other characters. I think there are a ton of parallels, but I also think we elaborate a little on the story. And Potter author J.K. Rowling? Who knows what, if any, spiritual leanings she has.

The wild card to a debate which I think might have been covered approximately 95 million times prior to this article, is the new theme park at Universal Studios in Orlando.

I am not exaggerating when I say that my brother and I have already talked about going there this December. Our feeling is that to go to a replica of Hogwarts and Harry Potter's world during the summer wouldn't make sense. You've got to go when it's cold enough to wear a Gryffindor scarf and you can drink a butterbeer and perhaps get some sort of sweets from Honey Dukes. (Bennett is going to bring his one year old and give the sorting hat a whirl, fingers crossed it doesn't say "Slytherin!") Harry Potter never wore shorts that I'm aware of, but that's beside the point. The point is, I'm going.

I asked my wife about this debate, Harry vs. Gandalf. The first thing she said was that we would not be a family who raised their kids to attend Universal, so great is her love for Disney. The second thing she said was that I couldn't read the books to our oldest daughter until she was 12. I told her I had a different belief about the likelihood of our pre-pubescent daughter sitting down with her dad to hear a book about magical wizards. But I don't know if I'm going to read them to her or not.

I don't love the dark arts undertones and I love the irony of writing about Harry Potter in the same week in which I claim to be getting more conservative. But where are you at on this?

Harry vs. Gandalf.

What do you think about Harry Potter?

Getting a Hebrew Tattoo.

I don't have a tattoo because sometimes I get bored of a certain flavor of gum pretty quickly.

Things always start out well at first. I buy a pack of "5 React." I think the "5" is related to the number of senses the gum impacts, but to tell you the truth, having chewed it a few times, I'm not sure that a "sound experience" is a reasonable expectation from a piece of gum. Don't get me wrong, if that gum played "Rhythm of the Night" by El Debarge while you chewed it, I'd be sold. I checked the Wrigley site to make sure my hopes weren't too high and here's how they described it: "5 is a groundbreaking sugar-free stick gum product."

That's exactly how I feel about gum. Whenever I see someone at work with a pack, I say, "Do you have any more stick gum product?"

So I chew React, which is like a delicious fruit truck smashed into a fruit parade while the city was under attack by a Godzilla made of fruit. The package opens with your thumb, which I also enjoy. The 5 gum package is like the Zippo lighter of the gum world. I defy you to find a cooler gum package in the industry of chewing industry right now.

But I get bored. I lose interest quickly. I move on to another piece, even if Stride tells me I can chew their stick gum product for hours. I'm too fickle, which is why I can't get a tattoo.

My brother Will has a few and one of his is in Hebrew, which is probably the way I'd go too. Why? There are a few reasons the tattoo in Hebrew is the way to go:

1. It forces you to learn a little Hebrew.

My brother is a budding theologian, but me? I rarely crack open a book in Hebrew and just go at it. Getting another language tattooed on your body forever would hopefully inspire me to actually study that language a little.

2. It's like the Christian version of the Chinese symbol.

Want to ferret out if someone at work is a Christian without straight up asking? Chances are, if they have a Bible verse tattooed in Hebrew, they are a Christian. (Or they're Angelina Jolie. It's one of the two.)

3. You can tell anyone it means anything.

Feel like you got a word on you that is no longer the word that symbolizes your life? You got "Drowning in his love" tattooed in Hebrew four years ago, but now feel like the phrase, "Living in his light," works better as a summary of your life? Just tell people that's what it means. They won't know. Of course, now you're lying about a Hebrew tattoo which is like some kind of triple sin.

4. They tend to be small and less painful.

Tattoos are still delivered via, hot, constant, sharp needles, right? Just checking. That's one more reason I'd probably go with a word in Hebrew if I ever got a tattoo. Those are always small.

We had a Christian tattoo contest two years ago on Stuff Christians Like and there were some amazing ones. But it's not my thing. Sure, sometimes I'll rock the temporary tattoos when our kids wear them, but we've got girls. That means I'm not rolling out of the house with a fire truck or a rocket. I'm wearing one of the members of the Prince Cartel. (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Lil' Mermaid, etc.)

How about you?

Do you have a tattoo?

What is it?

New updates to SCL!

When I started Stuff Christians Like, I was writing it for about an hour every day, in my kitchen before work. It was something I would have honestly described as a "fun hobby." I loved doing it, but it was at best, a sliver of my life.

Fast forward almost three years, and the site has turned into something I never expected. We've created a list of almost 1,000 items. We built two kindergartens in Vietnam and did a massive nets project in Uganda. There's a Stuff Christians Like book and a cologne called "For Hymnal," that smells like old hymns. (That last one is what they call, "vision casting.")

And Stuff Christians Like is now a huge part of my life. In addition to being my passion, it's what I do all day. But the site didn't visually reflect that. I've honestly been afraid to step out there and say, "Hey, this is what I do. And I love it!" I tend to be a bit of coward when it comes to admitting stuff is good because I'm afraid if I do, and it goes away, the pain of losing it will be magnified by the hope I invested. It's the classic, "I don't want to get my hopes up" approach to life. It is dumb. I know.

So though it's just a new header today, this is a big deal to me. This is me admitting, "I'm all in." This is me saying, "Hey, I'm Jon Acuff and I love this site and this community and feel like we've only just got started on what we can do." Is that a silly thing to think about a header? Maybe, but then, I am silly.

There are also three other things I am really excited about:

1.    The archives are complete

Prior to today, if you went to the archives section of this site, you could read posts 1-500. That would be great if we didn't have more than 900 posts. That wildly incomplete list made it a hassle to read from 1-900 or to find old posts. Today, the archives are finally complete!

2.    JonAcuff.com

If you look at the address bar, you'll notice that it says, "jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike. (Typing www.stuffchristianslike.net will still get you here so don't worry about typing a new address.) Why the change? There are a few reasons. The first is that we're starting a new blog soon and didn't want to have completely different addresses and platforms. We wanted everything connected together and easy to navigate. And we couldn't get the .com version of StuffChristiansLike. A 1957 Chevy Dealer is squatting on it. It made more sense to build the long term plan off of the thing we owned, jonacuff.com, instead of the thing we didn't own.

3.    More graphics

The other reason I like the header is that I'm trying to do a better job of using graphics on the site. It will still be super clean and not cluttered and put the focus on the words, but it turns out people are now able to upload photos online and actually enjoy imagery on blogs. So in addition to my mug in the header, I'm going to try to do a better job showcasing photos, and maybe even incorporating your photos in posts. (The metrosexual worship leader post would be so much better for instance if worship leaders could submit their photos and we could make a slide show.) (I also like the header because it visually summarizes the site's goal to "clear the clutter of Christianity, so that we can see the beauty of Christ." It's about bringing into focus the things that matter most.)

I'm excited about the changes and what's ahead. Thank you so much for the endless support you've given me that has made all of this possible.