R.B. Holbrook's Blog, page 21
October 3, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Sleep Ain’t Easy
Angel: “RB, why don’t you go on to bed, your eyes are too heavy to write.”
Me: “Just one more…”
Demon: “I swear if you fall over onto the floor, I’m recording and YouTubing it.”
Angel: “That’s mean! RB, go to bed. This is one of the reason’s you were sick last week.”
Me: “But I’m almost finished with this scene.”
Demon: “Your scene already sounds like gibberish from sleep-writing. Might as well hang it up for tonight. I mean, you’ll just have to go back and rewrite it later… like all your other crappy half-sleep scenes.”
Me: “Hey!”
Demon: “Ha! That woke you up.”
Angel: “He has a point though. You shouldn’t write when you don’t get enough sleep. Your brain isn’t at its best and your thoughts aren’t coherent. Get some sleep and start fresh the next day.”
Me: “I know. I know.”
Angel: “Yes, but will you do it?”
Me: “Fine… after this sentence.”
Angel: “After…? Demon can you sing that song you were singing last night… I believe it was I’m Sexy And I Know It.”
Demon: “Oooo!!”
Me: “No! No! Please, NO! I’m going! I’m going! Goodnight!”
Demon: “Hold on… Angel, are you trying to say I can’t sing?”
Angel: “Yes.”
Demon: “Damn, you could at least lie about it.”
Angel: “Nope, that’s your department.”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, health, sleep, Writing, YouTube
October 1, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Angelic Aggression
Angel: “RB, it is officially October, the year is coming closer to an end and you have yet to complete the final manuscript of this book. When will you get to the second?”
Me: “The second one is done.”
Demon: “That’s such bullsh-”
Angel: “Unfortunately, Demon is right, you have a flimsy excuse for a rough draft of the second book. I’m talking about a complete manuscript that can be sent off to an editor. You said you would have two books written by the end of the year.”
Me: “Angel, come on get off my case. I’ve been sick and-”
Angel: “Yes, that was last week, that does not explain all the other 51 weeks in a year.”
Demon: “Hell, you know how many weeks are in a year? Damn, you’re a nerd.”
Angel: “I’m talking to, RB, right now, I’ll get to you later. Now listen, RB, you have to remember, you’re not writing for just your self.”
Me: “I know. I know! But it isn’t easy to make the worlds in my mind just jump onto paper or my computer. Trust me, I’ve tried it doesn’t work.”
Demon: “Yeah, Angel, so get that stick from up your ass and-”
Angel: “Demon, if you curse one more time I’m going to take that so called stick and correct your evil ways.”
Demon: “And just what the fu- AAAAH!!!! Where did that stick come from?!?“
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, Books, deadline, light, offense, reading, Writing
September 28, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Word Confusion
Angel: “Write. Right.”
Demon: “Read. Reed.”
Angel: “To. Too. Two.”
Demon: “Where. Were.”
Angel: “There. Their. They’re.”
Demon: “THERE! THERE!”
Me: “Okay! I get it! It was an honest typo!”
Demon: “And you were the one who talked about choosing words carefully.”
Angel: “He has a point.”
Me: “I know! I know! But sometimes I type so fast my fingers just pick the word closest to what I want.”
Demon: “Is that why you typed through instead of threw?”
Me: “Where?”
Demon: [Points to the screen] “THERE! THERE!”
Me: “Argh!”
Angel: “Hahaha“
Me: “Angel?!”
Angel: “Sorry.”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, read, typo, word choice, words, Writing
September 26, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Word Play
Angel: “With the knife in hand, he stabbed the table.”
Demon: “He grabbed the knife and stabbed it into the table.”
Angel: “Gripping the knife hard, he stabbed the table.”
Demon: “How many times does this fool have to stab the table before you’re satisfied?”
Me: “Until the words sound right and flow on paper.”
Demon: “It won’t be right until he’s stabbing flesh and blood. That’s the problem.”
Me: “But he’s only handing the knife off, not attacking.”
Angel: “The person he’s delivering the knife to is an acquaintance then?”
Me: “They know each other but they’re not friends. There is some hostility.”
Demon: “All the more reason to stab him.”
Me: “Ooo!” I begin typing.
Angel: “Inspiration has struck RB.”
Demon: “So my idea worked! Stab the man!”
Me: “You wish.”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, detail, word, word choice, word play, Writing
September 24, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Word Power
Demon: “Why did you use that word?”
Me: “That word gives it a little something extra. Instead of saying, she drew or she traced the magic into his skin, I think that she stitched magic into his skin makes it sound stronger. It gives a sense that the magic is more permanent and the act she used was far more complex.”
Demon: “And painful… I like it!”
Angel: “Look beyond the pain, Demon. What RB is trying to say is that each word is significant. They each hold a kind of power.”
Me: “Words whether written or spoken can create, destroy, praise, amaze, confuse, and teach.”
Angel: “That is where the sayings about the tongue being sharper than a sword and the pen being mightier than a sword came from.”
Demon: “Mightier than a sword? Please. Give me a sword, I’ll show you might!”
Me: “Save it for my next fight scene.”
Demon: “Deal!”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, details, power, words
September 21, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Subtlety
Angel: “I… don’t get it. Why count the trees as he passes by them?”
Demon: “He’s not.”
Angel: “Yes he is. Clearly, he is counting each tree he is passing.”
Demon: “Yes, he’s counting. But not the trees.”
Angel: “There’s nothing else in the forest.”
Demon: “Really? You can’t see the forest for the trees?”
Angel: “Haha, very funny.”
Me: “He’s right you know. You missed some of the details. Read it again. Some descriptions are so subtle, that if you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss something.”
Angel: “I’ve read that scene several times and I still don’t get it.”
Demon: “Wait for it…”
Angel: “Wait for what?”
Demon: “Wait for it…”
Me: “Now do you get it?”
Angel: “…oh…OH!!!”
Demon: “That’s right, the devil’s in the details.”
Angel: “How long have you been waiting to use that one?”
Demon: “Helluva long time.”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, description, details, forest, subtlety, trees
September 19, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Honest Feedback
Demon: “You’ve actually got some good reviews on your books.”
Me: “Why is that so shocking?”
Demon: “Not enough violence, sex, or drugs. Who would want to read it?”
Angel: “Oh, it had plenty of violence if you ask me.”
Demon: “And yet… no one did. RB, I also noticed you got some negative reviews… not too bad, but… If you want I could get some of my friend to haunt their houses.”
Me: “Not necessary. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. There are plenty of books I’ve read and didn’t like.”
Demon: “But you don’t review books, these people did. Come on, let me haunt them.”
Angel: “How do you handle bad reviews?”
Me: “Honestly, I mope a bit. No one likes to be criticized. However, if you want to survive this industry, you have to learn to suck it up. I do that by reminding myself not everything is for everybody. I also remind myself that I’m not the only one who has gotten bad reviews. There are authors far more accomplished than me getting bad reviews everyday. And those authors are extremely well known compared to me.”
Demon: “A good poltergeist. That’s all I need to scare the hell out of them.”
Angel: “So you don’t take it to heart?”
Me: “Did you not hear me say mope? Yes, I take it to heart, but I also take it to head. I think about it, consider why they don’t like it. And if the criticism is constructive, I use it to better my writing. I’m not perfect and accept my faults. In the end, I’m just glad that they gave it a chance and read my books. And NO I WILL NOT RESORT TO HAUNTING MY REVIEWERS!!”
Demon: “Poltergeists work, dammit!!“
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book reviews, feedbook, haunting, poltergeist, reviews
September 17, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Off-Beige
Me: “She slipped on the off-white jacket before checking the pockets to see what was left inside. The mark had no money, no ID, and no cell phone. Was the man trying to make her job easier?” I look up at my audience. “What do you think?”
Angel: “Well the description is okay, but a little bland. Is it alright to say that the character wore an off-white jacket? It sounds a little… I don’t know-”
Demon: “Boring. You need another word for that color. Everyone uses it. Be original.”
Angel: “What’s another word for off-white?”
Demon: “Egg shell.”
Angel: “Beige.”
Demon: “Tan?”
Angel: “Too brown.”
Demon: “Cream, maybe?”
Me: “Ecru.”
Angel: “Bless you!”
Demon: “Gesundheit!“
Me: “What?”
Demon: “It’s German for good health… you know for your sneeze.”
Angel: “You really should cover your mouth when you sneeze. Are you catching a cold?”
Me: “… I said ecru… I was suggesting a word you might be trying to find: ecru not achoo.”
Angel: “That’s a word?”
Demon: “Hell, enunciate!”
Me: “… I need an aspirin.”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, beige, description, ecru, off-white, word choice, Writing
September 15, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Two Cents
Angel: “Please don’t tell me RB’s still drafting another demon slaying book.”
Demon: “What I’m seeing looks like an outline for something like it… but the lead role is neither an angel nor a demon.”
Angel: “A human?”
Demon: “Not sure. RB-”
Me: “I’m not telling. You two don’t get to put your two cents in on this one.”
Angel: “Why? We’d be the best source for all your good and evil research.”
Me: “YOU TWO BURNED MY LAST TWO IDEAS!!”
Angel & Demon: “But-”
Me: “No buts. I don’t need your help unless you’re actually going to help.”
Angel & Demon: “But-”
Me: “And trashing my ideas isn’t help. Constructive criticism. That helps. Offering suggestions to make it better helps. If is doesn’t help to build the story, it’s not welcomed. Understood?”
Demon: “Aye Aye, captain.”
Angel: “Understood.”
Me: “Good.”
Angel & Demon: “Now can we read-”
Me: “No!”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon, Writing Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, constructive criticism, demon slaying, R B Holbrook, Writing
September 14, 2012
Angel vs. Demon: Failed Idea
Angel: “Are you still going to write that story about the demon-slaying demon?”
Me: “Demon stole all my notes and erased my files sooooo not anytime soon.”
Demon: “Stole, burned, and scattered the ashes.”
Angel: “Why? It was a good idea.”
Demon: “Demons being best friends with angels is a load of sh-”
Angel: “I think it’s a great idea!”
Demon: “Idiots usually do.”
Angel: “Hey!”
Me: “Now I’m considering an angel who’s one step from being a demon. And she’s slaying demons in order to hunt down the one demon who tarnished her halo.”
Angel: “Preposterous!”
Demon: “Bring her to the dark side, baby!”
Angel: “Let’s burn this one as well. Like NOW!”
RBH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, burned, demon slaying, fallen angel, Writing
