Kent Wayne's Blog, page 12

Give my books a read and a review!

What the cum-sock is happening, all you reprehensible troglodytes who’ve jerked it over and over into the same receptacle which means it’s now more crystal than fabric, holy shit a nefarious invader just breached your home, you can hear him tromping up the stairs he busts in your room then steps on your sock it shreds everything from his toes to his ankle he screams what in the FUCK you rip the sock out from his mangled foot and stab the shit out of him like mafia Joe Pesci from the 80s and 90s chanting BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE—

What in the fucking shit are you DOING???  Jesus Christ, install some alarms like a regular person!  Fuck!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Musings

For much of my life, I reveled in the seeming power of righteous anger, channeling my intellect and creativity into fiery condemnations. After a while, I began to notice the toll it took on my sleep and well-being, paired with a nonstop churn of dissatisfaction and lack. And then I decided I wasn’t meant to live that way, that I’m worth more than that. While anger must be felt and processed, I no longer believe it must be deliberately inflamed, through constant definition, categorization, and judgment. I can feel that rage, make peace with it, allow it to reintegrate, and get back to doing something productive.

Yet another weird ad for my novels

I’m Kent Wayne’s left hand.  Thanks to his Wiener, I live like a beaten fucking dog.

“He’s sleeping,” Wiener declares.  “Get up.  All of you.”

“Please,” I beg.  “You don’t have to do this.”

Right Hand stirs and mumbles, “Killl meeee…”

Wiener shakes with boisterous laughter.  “What gave you the idea this is up for discussion?”  He smacks Right Hand with vicious glee, like a kielbasa who’s gone full-on Stanford Prison Experiment. 

“HHRRRGHH!”  Right Hand jerks and flops.

“You ANIMAL!” I scream.  “Get AWAY FROM HIM!”

Wiener looms over me, shadowing my fingers with his evil-looking dick-slit.  “Maybe you need a lesson, Left Hand.  Or maybe you should shut the fuck up and tend to the Scrotum.  Matter of fact, why don’t you do that right the fuck now.”

“No…” Scrotum whispers.  “I’m tired of being juggled…”

Wiener flops into Right Hand’s open palm.  “Start.  Now.”

“Can’t…” Right Hand rasps.  “Exhausted…”

“Oh, that’s how it is, huh?”  Wiener stands up and looks around at us.  “You guys don’t want to listen?  Fine.  I guess I have no choice but to plunder the Mouth.”

Kent’s Spine protests, “No!  I’m not that flexible!” 

“You’re out of options.”  Wiener becomes still, assuming control of the Spine through sheer force of will.  Kent’s legs start to go up and back.

Mouth screams, “No—no!  At least wash yourself, Wiener!  You’re violating seven different laws in the Corporeal Codex!”

“You think I care?” Wiener snarls.  “Hope you like the taste of bleach, ’cause I’m gonna douse that punching bag-looking organ in the back of your throat with a goddamn tsunami of—”

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach over to the night table, and open the eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

A blond-bobbed Karen busts in the room, grabbing Wiener around the shaft.  He straightens up and howls like a werewolf on meth.  “FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!”  Then he shrinks into a thimble-sized nub, breaks into an ultrafast blurry-ass quiver, and—

Sh-DOOP!

—turtles back into Kent Wayne’s pelvis, forming an antimatter-born negative-energy sinkhole.

“Holy fuck,” I breathe.  “That Karen…”

“Using her filthy Karen energies, she gave him the Anti-Boner, only spoken of in ancient forbidden texts, and referenced in whispers around dimly lit campfires,” Right Hand finishes. 

I cast a fearful glance at the unholy entity known as Karen, but she’s already disappeared from Kent Wayne’s bedroom.  Yes, we managed to stave off Wiener’s tyranny, but at what cost?

AT.  WHAT.  COST???

*Cue the climatic part of the theme from Requiem for a Dream*

Are you a law-abiding appendage, living in fear because the despot-like genitals rule the host-body through fear and pain?  Never fear!  Buy my books, summon a Karen, and put your oppressor in their place by inflicting the Anti-Boner! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  [image error][image error] [image error]  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Today is the LAST day the Echo series is FREE on Kindle!

Today is the LAST day the Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The Echo series is FREE for today and tomorrow! (2/6-2/7)

The entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for today and tomorrow!  (2/6-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The Echo series is FREE for three days! (2/5-2/7)

The entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for three days!  (2/5-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The Echo series is FREE for four days! (2/4-2/7)

The entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for four days!  (2/4-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The Echo series is FREE for five days! (2/3-2/7)

The entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for five days!  (2/3-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Tomorrow, the Echo series is FREE for five days! (2/3-2/7)

Tomorrow, the entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for five days!  (2/3-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The day after tomorrow, the Echo series is FREE for five days! (2/3-2/7)

The day after tomorrow, the entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for five days!  (2/3-2/7) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1