Kent Wayne's Blog, page 2
September 30, 2025
Musings
My life is more pleasant when I allow things to be; without straining to define, categorize, or cross-reference things into intellectually digestible boxes. Personally, I find definition/categorization/cross-referencing naturally occurs in the right amount, at the right time, and at the right place when I abide in allowance.
Life is especially pleasant when I don’t tunnel-vision on what I believe it should be, and I just appreciate the moments as they arise.
September 28, 2025
Yet another weird ad for my novels
What the fuck? I wake up and glance at my bedside alarm. It’s 1 am, and someone’s blasting the punching bag in my garage. I rack my 9mil, get out of bed, and slowly make my way down the stairs.
I line up my muzzle, eye, and foot, and start cutting the pie on the doorway to my garage. Halfway through, I spot Luke Skywalker, wailing away on the goddamn heavy bag, screaming “FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!” Each time he swears, he lands a hate-fueled punch.
“HEY!” I yell. “Just what in the hell do you think you’re DOING?”
He spins around, tears in his eyes, and levels a finger at my face. “I kissed my SISTER, man! I’m a fucking SISTER-KISSER!”
“Lucas wrote that in before he fleshed out the trilogy! Let it go, fucker!”
“And then I drank alien titty milk!” He drops to his knees and sobs into his hands. “AH GOD THE ALIEN TITTY MILK!”
I eject my mag, rack the slide to the rear, pop out the round in the chamber, and put it all on a nearby shelf. “Look, man, I’m sure it wasn’t—”
A hooded figure drifts out of the shadow. “Intentional?” He steeples his fingers and cackles with glee. “Oh I assure you—it was completely intentional.”
“No.” Luke scuttles back on his hands and butt, huddling in the corner and curling into a ball. “NO!”
“Yes.” The hooded figure pulls back his hood, revealing himself to be none other than—
“GEORGE FUCKING LUCAS!” Luke clutches the air and screams in anguish.
“Don’t forget about me.” A second hooded figure emerges from the shadows, noticeably more rotund than George Lucas. He pulls back his hood.
Holy shit—George R.R. MARTIN???
“I’ve come to finish the job.” His grin widens into an evil rictus. “You think sister-kissing is gross? Ever seen what I did with the Lannisters?”
Luke screams louder than he did on Bespin, when Vader cut off his motherfucking arm. “NOOOOOOOO!!!!”
“You!” I thrust a finger at the sister-focused perverts. “YOU’RE the reason I can’t scroll through xvideos without incestuous garbage popping up on my feed! I don’t mind when someone gets stuck in a dryer, but—”
“Quiet.” George Lucas reaches toward me, curling his fingers and Dark Side-choking me. “My creation will bow to my wishes and whims.”
“HRRKK.” I claw at my throat, but there’s no real hand—I’m about to be murdered by a neck-bearded Sith-lord.
Fuck it. No options left. So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“You think you’re gross?” Steven Seagal plods into the center of the room, clad in a pair of yellow-spotted whitey-tighties. “You don’t know the first thing about gross.” He proceeds to pull a fly-ridden chicken leg from the depths of his greasy-ass chest-hair.
Lucas and Martin immediately start retching. I’m talking projectile-vomit that’s so goddamn hard it ricochets off the walls and the floor, and envelops the room in a maze of zig-zagging puke. Thankfully, I’m near the door, so while my eyes start watering and my gorge starts rising, I don’t get affected nearly as bad. (Luke’s puking and shitting along with the Georges, but he’s a gross-ass sister-kisser, so fuck him.)
While I stagger away, I glimpse Lucas passed out in a pool of his own vomit. Martin is on his hands and his knees, valiantly trying to cling to life. He moans, “It kills, it kills…” before he collapses and starts jerking and twitching.
Welp, that’s what you get for pushing your sister-fetish bullshit!
Kent Wayne wins again!
Have you been accosted by some gross-ass Georges? Never fear! Buy my books, summon Steven Seagal, and make them choke on their own fucking vomit!
Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! [image error][image error] [image error] #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
September 25, 2025
Give my books a read and a review!
What the apocta-beej is happening, all you supposedly lucky mofos who’re the recipient of a hoover-like mouth attached to a jackhammer neck and holy shit it’s causing you to see angels and interdimensionals and the unshaven b-hole of long-lost deities, simultaneously, unbeknownst to you, some frantic scientist in the depths of a super-secret underground base pushes his glasses up his nose, rechecks his calculations and whispers, “No…this can’t be right,” before tearing through the halls screaming call the generals, call the President, that blowjob will rip a hole in our space-time continuum!!! But it’s way too late a miasmic portal is opening in the sky, tears of horror trickle down your cheeks as its unholy center widens and blossoms and gives birth to a nameless terror that roars with a voice that would make Cthulu whimper and go cry in the corner—
Fuckhole on RYE! THAT, my friends, is why you don’t blast your wiener with a machine-gun-like apocta-beej! Slow it down, draw it out, and enjoy that mouth! Jesus fucking Christ!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
September 23, 2025
Musings
Over the years, I’ve come to believe in a realm of truth that lies beyond theory and surface deduction, a place where answers are not just detailed in clinical logic, but where they are also intuited and deeply felt–where we live and breathe their core essence, and fully embody their organic spirit.
September 21, 2025
Yet another weird ad for my novels
I typically lift at a bro-heavy gym. I’m pretty meticulous about maintaining my physique, so they don’t bat an eye when I’m doing my thing. Due to the fact that I can put up decent weight, they assume I yell sports’ star names when I throw wadded paper into the trash can, or chant “USA, USA!” when something explodes.
Little do they know—I look like a meathead, but that’s as far as it goes.
Case in point: I’m watching my favorite new addiction while I’m blasting out reps. That’s right—Kpop Demon Hunters. And I am INTO it. As Jinu sacrifices himself to save Rumi, I start arguing with my phone screen. “No, you IDIOT, there’s another way to keep them alive, you don’t have to—”
“Why are you shouting?” A douche-bro with muscled straining man-teats (made ten times worse by the fact that he’s wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top), walks up and peers into my phone. “What the—” He straightens in shock, cups his mouth, and yells at the rest of the gym while pointing at my face. “HE REFUSES TO CONFORM TO OUR INSECURITY-DRIVEN TASTES—HE’S WATCHING GODDAMN KPOP DEMON HUNTERS!!!”
Cries of outrage erupt from the bros. “I HATE HIM!” And: “HIS DICK IS PROBABLY BIGGER THAN ALL OF OURS COMBINED!” Followed by: “UNDOUBTEDLY!” And: “I WOULD BET MY LIFE ON IT!” It culminates in a howl of bone-quaking rage, then they all sprint toward me with murder in their eyes.
Holy. SHIT. I am seconds away from being torn to shreds.
No options left. So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
An interdimensional portal appears in the middle of the gym. The douche-bros’ hot-ass moms pour from its center, and immediately begin chastising them. Their names throw me for a goddamn loop—it sounds like a list of Ivy-league roofie-slingers. I’m talking Daxtons, Hunters, Codys, Jaggers, Baylors, Zaydens, Sawyers…(As far as the normal ones, I’m guessing they’re horrendously misspelled—since when did it become fashionable to name your kid Qris, Zaquiri, Ty-lor, or S5imon? I mean, what in the FUCK?)
A mom flings an arm at me and screams, “Don’t you know who this is??? It’s 2025’s top-rated Man Whore!”
I rub the back of my neck and hiss through my teeth. “I mean…”
“Oh hush.” She flaps a dismissive hand at me. “Take off your clothes—lemme get to work on that top-tier womb-hammer.”
Her son (I forgot his name—I think it’s Jaxsynn, $eth, or maybe Johnorea) shoots her a look of abject horror. “Mom!”
One of the other moms adds, “And sing ‘Soda Pop’ while you’re widening our vajeens.”
“No!” The douche-bros’ drop to their knees and clutch the air with their hands. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
I clap my hands and rub them briskly together, smiling like the cat that got the mothafuckin’ cream.
OH yeah! HEH heh heh! Kent Wayne wins again!
Are insecurity-driven douche-bros persecuting you for grooving to a banger from Ejae, Rei-Ami, or Audrey Nuna? Never fear! Buy my books, magically summon their horny-ass moms, and lay that pipe while you cum to their tears!
Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! [image error][image error] [image error] #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
September 18, 2025
Give my books a read and a review!
What the grappling-dick is happening, my fellow big-wienered folk who’ve managed to piss off your archnemesis to the point where you’re naked and blindfolded and standing up at the very fucking edge of a thousand foot drop, they’re pointing a gun at your head and giving a menacing-ass speech accompanied by orchestral DUHTs and DUH-DUHTS! The camera zooms in on your blindfolded face as you interrupt their spiel and state you have one last thing to say and they ask yes, what is it, to which you loudly bray out, “THERE I WAS—BALLS DEEP IN YOUR MOTHER’S ASS,” before leaning backward and plunging into the void you whip your hips and fling your wiener into the wind, wrapping it around a distant perch as they shoot at your long-arcing form and shout DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HEEELLLLLLLL while you cackle like a cat that got the motherfucking cream—
It’s not meant to be used as a goddamn grappling hook! Quit pissing people off so you can Batman your ass across a yawning crevasse, using nothing but the length of your lariat-worthy womb-hammer!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
September 16, 2025
Musings
When I was younger, I placed total consideration into technicalities and procedures, quantifying possibility into rigid measurements and expectations. Later, I saw implicit wisdom in Tarantino’s reply when he was asked how to break into the film industry. He said, “Write and direct Reservoir Dogs. That’s what I did.” Through his tongue-and-cheek reply, he showed tacit understanding there’s more to life than odds and procedures and codified methodology, and that he got where he was by listening to his intuition and following his own unique path.
Now I focus on allowance–yes, quantification and measurement are important, but they become detrimental when they crowd out possibility, and the perceptual framework that enables me to leverage the unknown into unexpected good fortune.
I like to allow for quantification and procedures, as well as synchronicity and awesome twists of fate. Allowance is my focus, rather than an internal state of expectation-derived tension or nerve-wracking desire.
A Door Into Evermoor by Kent Wayne
