Pam Vredevelt's Blog, page 8

Want to Laugh ‘Til You Cry?

How long has it been since you laughed so hard you cried?  If it’s been awhile, it’s time to ask yourself why?  What’s getting in the way of taking full advantage of the most user-friendly, best medicine known to modern man?

Maybe it simply boils down to brain science.

Did you know that during times of stress your brain naturally just leans in the direction of the negative?  Like a flower to the sun.  Call it primitive instinct or part of the curse, it is what it is.

Brain science tells us time and again that fear, negativity, and resentment stick like Velcro to the nerves.  Positivity, gratitude, and appreciation slide away like Teflon from those same nerves – until we choose to intentionally embrace them for a minimum of fifteen seconds.  Only then do they imprint the brain. 1

My personal takeaway?

A decision to be at least fifteen seconds more present in this little bit of now.

To open my heart and ask, ‘What if this difficult whatever is a gift?’

To listen for whispers that awaken a new kind of knowing God.

To look for snapshots of humanity that make me feel alive.

To more fully cherish the Divine reflected in those around me.

These are the images I want to mark my brain.

How about you?

We could all use a little more HAPPY.  And so could our family and friends.

Care to join me as we kick off the new year?

It’s more fun together.

MAKE ROOM FOR HAPPY!

Monday night is Daisy date night.

Grammy and Grandpa play, dance, read, eat, and play some more, until bedtime snuggles.  That’s MY cherished time and no one dares interfere!

Daisy and I sneak away into a quiet room, dim the lights, and wrap up in a cuddly blanket for home-made lullabies.  Swaying to the rhythm of simple songs, love spills over this little bundle of joy nestled close, as she escapes into dreamland.

Why do I love singing Daisy to sleep?  What magnetizes me to these magical moments?

It’s the mirror reflections of love,  joy, and peace.

The chance to share in all the tenderness and comfort I want.

It’s the coming alive that happens in a quiet calm crammed with heaven. It’s the cozy closeness that chases away restless worries and ushers in a feeling of being held by Infinite Love.

The elegant discoveries that come while embracing the very good and perfect now.

It’s also the joy of gazing at Daisy’s sleepy frame.  She so clearly reflects features of her mommy and daddy and generations past.

A bigger picture emerges. I’ve heard it said that God doesn’t have grandchildren.  Only children.   I pause and wonder.

Can I believe that God joyfully gazes at me the way I look at Daisy?  With overwhelming, liberating love and acceptance? With giddy delight over seeing bits and pieces of His features mirrored in me?

Yes.  I can.  I choose to believe.

My how the years and life change us.  I remember evenings as a young mom when I was so bone-weary, I just wanted my kids to hurry up and put themselves to bed.  Forget stories.  Forget songs.  Forget cuddles.  Mom was itching to clock out early.  It was a silly, entertaining fantasy for a mama with babies and toddlers.

If I could do it over again, I’d conserve more time and energy for these precious moments.  I’d slow down, and savor rocking chair reflections even more.  I’d ask, What is mirrored in this moment? What goodness can I sense and see?

A re-do isn’t possible, but guess what?  Today is full of possibility.  A few hours from now I have a Daisy Date.  I get to make room for happy.

When playtime ends and bedtime arrives, little Miss Daisy and I plan to cozy up close and rock the night away.   Ahhhhhh. Yes.

Life is good.

 

A Thanksgiving Holiday Gift For You

Hi!

I’d like to take a moment to tell you how thankful I am for you in my life! I appreciate your kind words and encouragement about the messages I share.

Things are quickly ramping up and beginning to whirl around us with all the holiday celebrations, Black Friday shopping, and other events.  With that in mind, I’ve put together something special for you.

It’s a 9 minute audio mp3 to drain away frantic frenzy and lead you into a secret place immersed in God’s loving-kindness and peace. My Thanksgiving gift to you –  simple reminder to take good care of You and to always remember Who loves you.  So put your headphones, get comfy, and take ten to refresh and renew.



Go HERE to download your gift.


Here’s to YOUR increased peace and joy!

With love and appreciation,

Pam

Two Secret Weapons that Block Anxiety and Restore Peace

Gotta be honest. The last month has been crazy, hectic, nut-so, wild, and chalked full of the unexpected.  Some highlights:  I hosted several out of town guests, launched a new book, did several TV, radio, and print interviews, on top of an already very full schedule with family, counseling, church, my favorite grandbaby play dates, and, and, and….

 

All that to say I’m in the trenches with everyone else who finds life a bit overwhelming at times.  Babywise.life Magazine asked me to write a three part series for them on ways to stop anxiety from robbing our peace.  So now….here’s part three with two more secret weapons you can deploy anytime, anywhere, to bring relief and regain peace.  Especially when you’re right smack in the middle of messy, haywire, overwhelming emotion. Enjoy!  https://babywise.life/blogs/healthpage/reducing-anxiety-is-an-inside-job

Is Anxiety Driving You Crazy?

I feel like I’m going crazy!

It’s one of the most frequent comments I hear from someone who is battling anxiety.

Seven out of ten adults in the United States say they experience stress or anxiety daily, and most say it interferes at least moderately with their lives. About one-third report persistent stress or excessive anxiety daily or that they have had an anxiety or panic attack. Continue reading here: https://babywise.life/blogs/healthpage/am-i-going-crazy

Celebrating YOU!

A huge thanks to each one for the many ways you helped successfully launch the Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide for Healing After Pregnancy Loss.

You set in motion a ripple effect of compassion that continues to build. Others are now breaking the ‘no talk’ rule and reaching out to young moms and dads who have suffered a pregnancy loss. As my husband, John, so passionately says . . .Wooohooo! That’s what it’s all about!

Thanks to his unselfish love, encouragement, prayers, the high octane protein spinach smoothies, we have a launch!

My apologies if you ran into a wall when trying to leave a review on Amazon. That was a curve ball for all of us! Apparently policy doesn’t permit reviews without a purchase. I realize many of you didn’t need a second book when you already had the gift copy I sent. I’m grateful you tried and thank you for your kindness. I’m very grateful!

4 Generations Celebrating Together

Jessie, Daisy, Me & Great Grandpa Chuck

Great Grandpa and baby Daisy enjoying each other

What Is Going On God?!!

My world was upside down .

After 36 long hours of labor, I finally delivered our first baby who died half-way to term. I left the hospital with post-partum hormones raging, milk flowing, and enough grief to sink a ship.

Wiping away streaming tears and snot, I couldn’t help it.  God got an earful.  Why God?! We prayed for this baby!  We loved our baby!  Why?!

The truth is, the more you love the more you hurt. Finish reading at https://susanbmead.com/life-hard/

 

YOUR VOICE MATTERS!

 

YIPPEE! 

 

TOMORROW is the OFFICIAL PUBLIC LAUNCH DAY!  

 

Thank you to everyone for the encouraging emails and messages you’ve sent about this mission to reach parents in pain. Please know that you can count on my support for you and your project should the occasion occur.

 

3 Key Reminders:

Buying the Empty Arms Journal:  A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss OCTOBER 14TH from Amazon.com will help the book move up in the amazon charts.  You can buy it here.

 

Leaving a review on Amazon OCTOBER 14TH will help the book move up the Amazon charts. Please post a review here.

 

The higher the book ranks the more Amazon will promote it, enabling us to reach more moms and dads in the throes of deep grief.

 

Thank you for your compassion for parents who need hope and guidance.  With your help we can lead them to a safe place where God can empower them to embrace their pain and heal their hearts.

 

I’m very grateful for your kind and generous support.

 

Let’s do this!

 

Warmly,

 

Pam

 

SIMPLE ‘Copy and paste’ POSTS FOR YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA – October 14-16

 

TODAY!  Get Pam Vredevelt’s new book on how to embrace your pain and #heal your heart after #pregnancy loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

 “Empty Arms Journal” is an easy-to-use GUIDE that shows you step-by-step how to embrace your pain and heal your heart after a pregnancy loss.  The 21-Day Plan promotes emotional healing and protects you from getting stuck in prolonged or complicated grief.               

 https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

New book on #HEALING AFTER MISCARRIAGE & LOSS OF A BABY.  Get the  Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss.  Start the healing process today:  

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

This book is literally a lifeline to #parents suffering in silence after a #pregnancy loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

 New book on HEALING AFTER #MISCARRIAGE, #STILLBIRTH, and #PREGNANCY LOSS.  EMPTY ARMS JOURNAL.  Get the 21-Day step-by-step guided healing journal to successfully move forward through grief into brighter days. 

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

 The Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss.  Pam Vredevelt’s experiential healing journal is a gentle guide that shows you how to embrace your pain and heal your heart. 

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

 Learn how to embrace your loss with God and heal your heart after #pregnancy loss 

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 

10 Reasons Why Telling Your Story Matters

Did you know that writing for only 20 minutes a day can rewire your brain and promote healing? People who write about their challenges (and we all have them) report improved memory, less depression and anxiety, fewer trips to the doctor, reduced ruminations, increased productivity, and more happiness.

Writing allows you to pause and intentionally focus on the significant things that matter most to you.  You step back, pay attention, and sort through your experience.  By translating your thoughts and feelings into language and putting a pen to paper, you set yourself up to discover the meaning and gifts inherent in your struggles.

Writing fifteen minutes a day can boost your confidence and motivation, too.   In one study new employees who took 15 minutes to write and reflect at the end of the work day performed 22.8% percent better than those who didn’t.  The researcher’s explanation? When people have the opportunity to write and reflect, they feel more confident that they can achieve things. As a result, they put more effort into what they’re doing.

These are just a few of the many reasons why reflecting on your experiences and telling your story matters. It’s also why I recently created a step-by step journal for young moms and dads who are in the throes of deep grief. I want them to have ways to tell their story that promote healing and prevent prolonged unresolved grief. Sound strategies based on Scripture and brain science.

I’m excited to share with you that we are officially launching the Empty Arms Journal:  A 21-Day Guide for Healing After Pregnancy Loss on Friday, October 14th.  National Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day is Saturday, October 15th.

1 million expectant moms lose a baby every year in America.
1 of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
2 million moms, 7000 a day, have a stillborn baby every year around the globe.

How Can We Prevent Prolonged Unresolved Suffering?

Up to 59% of those who lose a baby get stuck in prolonged, complicated grief. TIME magazine recently featured the heartbreaking statistics:  47% of men and women who had experienced a miscarriage said they felt guilty, and 41% said they felt they had done something wrong. 41% percent reported feeling alone and 28% felt ashamed.

Will you help me break the “don’t talk about it” rule that perpetuates the suffering of those who have lost a baby?

 10-15 minutes of your time can help us connect parents in pain with a message of God’s healing love.  I’d be honored if you’d team with us.

To thank you for your time and compassion, I’ll send you a complimentary gift of the Empty Arms Journal:  A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss.  Simply follow the 1,2,3 steps I cover next, and email me via the contact page at pamvredevelt.com.   Copy and paste your personalized amazon book review or social media posts and your book will be emailed to you.

Here’s the 1, 2, 3 of what happens next:

#1. Launch Day Friday, Oct. 14th Social Media Posts

7 ‘copy and paste’ posts for social media supporting the launch are provided for you at the end of the blog. Start posting Friday morning, October 14th, and post once a day (or more if you prefer) through Sunday night October 16th. You can do this whenever it fits into your routine. I invite you to share a piece of your own story (as much as or as little as you want) along with these book launch posts.  Your story has great potential to bring hope to those who are suffering in silence.

#2. Launch Day – On Friday Oct. 14th – When you purchase the Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide for Healing After Pregnancy Loss at Amazon.com the book’s rank increases. As the rank increases, Amazon starts promoting the book.  It becomes more visible when someone searches for Pregnancy loss, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant death, which enables us to reach more grieving families.  Launch price is discounted to $14.95. You can purchase here:  https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

#3. Launch Day – When you write a book review October 14th on Amazon you move both Amazon and Google rankings higher. Amazon promotes the book more, and more young parents become aware of the healing journal. You can review the book here:  https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

Thank you for helping us reach into the shadows with a lifeline to those who are suffering alone.  Your voice and telling your story matters.

With deep appreciation for who you are,

Pam

 ‘COPY AND PASTE’ POSTS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA – Starts Friday October 14

TODAY!  Get Pam Vredevelt’s new book on how to embrace your pain and #heal your heart after #pregnancy loss. https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

*     *     *

“Empty Arms Journal” is an easy-to-use GUIDE that shows you step-by-step how to embrace your pain and heal your heart after a pregnancy loss.  The 21-Day Plan promotes emotional healing and protects you from getting stuck in prolonged or complicated grief.     https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

*     *     *

New book on #HEALING AFTER MISCARRIAGE & LOSS OF A BABY.  Get the Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss.  Start the healing process today:   https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

*      *     *

This book is literally a lifeline to #parents suffering in silence after a #pregnancy loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

 *     *     *

 New book on HEALING AFTER #MISCARRIAGE, #STILLBIRTH, and #PREGNANCY LOSS.  EMPTY ARMS JOURNAL.  Get the 21-Day step-by-step guided healing journal to successfully move forward through grief into brighter days. https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

*     *     *

The Empty Arms Journal: A 21-Day Guide For Healing After Pregnancy Loss.  Pam Vredevelt’s experiential healing journal is a gentle guide that shows you how to embrace your pain and heal your heart.https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

*     *     *

Learn how to embrace your loss with God and heal your heart after #pregnancy loss https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Journal-Healing-Pregnancy/dp/0997687606

Honoring All Moms!

More abruptly than I could have imagined, the Valley of Shadows lay before me.

When your dreams crash into reality, a season of mourning begins.

Losing a baby or a child touches every part of your life.  Your view of yourself. Your relationships.  Your hopes and fears about the future. Your wallet. Your dreams. Your beliefs about life and death, and God.

Crossing the threshold into the Valley of Shadows thrusts you into a stark awareness of the uncertain nature of this world.  You have no clue what is around the next bend.

At some point, each of us must make this long arduous trek through the dark. It’s fairly common for young moms to enter this dreadful valley, pitifully unprepared. I know I did.  Following the sudden death of our baby, and years later, our sixteen-year-old son, I found myself thinking, “No one told me the path would be this steep, this rocky, this long, this black.”

 Awakened to the priceless value of life and the persistent ache of empty arms, we are dazed by sadness.   There are moments when we secretly wonder if we’ll survive.

 We feel alone because we don’t believe that others truly understand our pain. 

Grief is hard emotional work.  After dragging ourselves through basic responsibilities and routines, we have little energy left over to socialize.  So we withdraw.  We don’t feel like interacting or putting on a pleasant face when our heart is buried in sharp rubble. It feels so fake.  Sometimes we retreat knowing we’ll be poor company. Other times, we simply don’t have enough energy to care. 

Grief is like the dynamic force of an extreme roller coaster ride that slams us every which way, and sucks the air clean out of us. We’re left dizzy, reeling with confusion so it’s difficult to think straight or focus.  Trauma fog clouds our perception, making it difficult to see clearly.  Pain persists.  Sadness won’t budge. Time and again we wonder, where’s the exit sign out of this dreadful place?

Accepting death and suffering is part of our spiritual journey.  Significant loss tests our faith. Grief tends to hinder our ability to sense God’s presence. We wonder where He is, and why He didn’t show up to write a different ending to our story.

In what feels like a god-forsaken place, we are faced with critical choices of the will:

 Will we give death the final say, holding onto despair?  Or will we believe that there is more going on than meets the eye, and that somehow God will bring life out of death, for our highest good and His highest glory?

Will we invite God’s companionship, or shut Him out of our journey?

Will we trust God to orchestrate a way through the darkness or will we light our own way?

Loss is not a simple affair.  It is fraught with multiples layers of meaning.  Will we take the time needed to face and embrace our pain and let it go? 

He that lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.   Shakespeare

Even as we rightfully grieve, will we trust that God is planting seeds of new life in the cracks of our broken heart? Will we believe His promise to transform our loss?  To bring life out of death and make all things new?

Today I have the privilege of talking with KGW Channel 8 news team about hope and healing for mom's who have lost children.  The segment will air on the 5, 10, and 11 o'clock news.  If you know a mom who needs encouragement, would you reach out to them and let them know you care?