Pam Vredevelt's Blog, page 3

The Doors Are Closing- Receive Grief Recovery

Hi . . . it’s Pam here.

I just wanted to make sure that you saw my message this morning.

Nathan’s birthday is almost over — and when it is, my offer to join the Healing Your Empty Arms online program will be over as well. (Just use promo code: BIRTHDAY when you check out to apply the sale price of $109 — a 45% discount.)

If you feel that you or someone you love might benefit from learning the research-based strategies and time-tested tools that promote effective grief recovery, then please — join us today.

I want you to know that there IS a path through this grief.  No matter how devastated you may feel, your heart is hard-wired to heal with the proper care and attention. And there are small progressive steps you can take that promote grief recovery and your healing process.

You may not believe it’s possible — but it really is. And you can test it for yourself.

Join Healing Your Empty Arms risk-free for 30 days. (Use promo code: BIRTHDAY on the checkout to get the sale price.)  Watch the lessons, use the tools, and just see what happens.

I have a hunch that you’ll become aware of noticeable shifts and good positive changes inside YOU.

But if you’re not completely satisfied with the help you’ve received, then just let me know — I will refund your purchase price.

Receive Grace, guidance, and compassionate support, and explore your story in new ways that promote healing, peace, and meaning.

Join us on the path toward a place of greater peace and purpose that honors the one you love and miss.

 

Feel welcome to contact me here for more compassionate guidance, heart-warming wisdom, and kind advice.

Also check out my social media posts for more uplifting posts, upcoming events, and encouraging images- I am active and involved on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest.

The post The Doors Are Closing- Receive Grief Recovery appeared first on pamvredevelt.com.

The Doors Are Closing

 

Hi . . . it’s Pam here.

I just wanted to make sure you saw my message this morning.

Nathan’s birthday is almost over — and when it is, my offer to join the Healing Your Empty Arms online program will be over, too. (Just use promo code: BIRTHDAY when you check out to apply the sale price of $109 — a 45% discount.)

If you feel that you or someone you love might benefit from learning the research-based strategies and time-tested tools that promote effective grief recovery, then please — join us today.

I want you to know that there IS a path through this grief.  No matter how devastated you may feel, your heart is hard-wired to heal with the proper care and attention. And there are small progressive steps you can take that promote grief recovery and your healing process.

You may not believe it’s possible — but it really is. And you can test it for yourself.

Join Healing Your Empty Arms risk-free for 30 days. (Use promo code: BIRTHDAY on the checkout to get the sale price.)  Watch the lessons, use the tools, and just see what happens.

I have a hunch you’ll become aware of noticeable shifts and good positive changes inside YOU.

But if you’re not completely satisfied with the help you’ve received, then just let me know — I’ll refund your purchase price.

Join us on the path toward a place of greater peace and purpose that honors the one you love and miss.

The post The Doors Are Closing appeared first on pamvredevelt.com.

Invisible Grief on Their Birthday

Holidays, anniversaries, their birthday — special days like these are fraught with invisible grief when you’ve lost your child.

As others celebrate, you might feel disconnected, even surreal, wondering why they don’t seem to care or notice that your child is missing.

And on your child’s birthday, the silence echoes.  Many people forget the day; others are too worried about upsetting you to mention it.  Meanwhile, you feel lonely and detached, wondering why on earth you’re the only one devastated by this day.

I can empathize because I felt this way after the loss of my baby, David — and then again, after our sixteen-year-old son died. There was no way to prepare for Nathan’s sudden departure from us.

Tomorrow is Nathan’s 10th birthday in Heaven.

Once upon a time, I would have been flooded with overwhelming lonely sadness and regret as the day approached. A relentless dark cloud tailed me day in and day out.

But things are different now.  I can honestly say that I look forward to Nathan’s birthday. It’s a time for me to remember Nathan as the happy, enthusiastic,  rambunctious son I deeply loved, unclouded by buried unresolved grief.

Nathan’s birthday — along with holidays and other special days that he is sorely missed — gives me a chance to honor his life, appreciate the lessons he taught me, and keep his memory alive.

I couldn’t do this very well before I walked the path of healing. Now, I’m able to celebrate Nathan’s birthday with joyful stories and laughter.  That doesn’t mean the day isn’t peppered with tears and longings for his presence.  It simply means that remembering and honoring Nathan is dominated with peace and love rather than pain.

Today, I’m thinking about how I might honor Nathan on his birthday. September 7th, the day he entered our family and began leaving his mark for good.

Check back tomorrow to discover what I come up with.

To stay connected with me and gain access to more healing resources and compassionate guidance, feel welcome to contact me here. Also check out my social media posts for more uplifting posts, upcoming events, and encouraging images- I am active and involved on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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Happy Birthday

Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries — special days like these are fraught with invisible grief when you’ve lost your child.

As others celebrate, you might feel disconnected, even surreal, wondering why they don’t seem to care or notice that your child is missing.

And on your child’s birthday, the silence echoes.  Many people forget the day; others are too worried about upsetting you to mention it.  Meanwhile, you feel lonely and detached, wondering why on earth you’re the only one devastated by this day.

I can empathize because I felt this way after the loss of my baby, David — and then again, after our sixteen-year-old son died. There was no way to prepare for Nathan’s sudden departure from us.

Tomorrow is Nathan’s 10th birthday in Heaven.

Once upon a time, I would have been flooded with overwhelming lonely sadness and regret as the day approached. A relentless dark cloud tailed me day in and day out.

But things are different now.  I can honestly say that I look forward to Nathan’s birthday.  It’s a time for me to remember Nathan as the happy, enthusiastic,  rambunctious son I deeply loved, unclouded by buried unresolved grief.

Nathan’s birthday — along with holidays and other special days that he is sorely missed — gives me a chance to honor his life, appreciate the lessons he taught me, and keep his memory alive.

I couldn’t do this very well before I walked the path of healing — but now I’m able to celebrate Nathan’s birthday with joyful stories and laughter.  That doesn’t mean the day isn’t peppered with tears and longings for his presence.  It simply means that remembering and honoring Nathan is dominated with peace and love rather than pain.

Today, I’m thinking about how I might honor Nathan on September 7th, the day he entered our family and began leaving his mark for good.

Check back tomorrow to discover what I come up with.

The post Happy Birthday appeared first on pamvredevelt.com.

The Meltdown Method: 3 Ways to Prevent Tantrums and Keep the Peace

I was talking with Amy, a young mom who was completely exasperated.  Her 3-year-old son’s meltdowns were getting more frequent and more intense.  When he didn’t want to do something he threw a temper tantrum straight out of a horror show –  using a high pitched deafening scream while flailing his arms and legs and turning blue in the face. 

This poor mom had had it. 

 Here’s the problem. Preschoolers rarely understand their emotions, and often don’t even have words for what they are feeling.  So giving them language for their emotions is important if we want them to be able to control their emotions.  

One thing I know for sure is that caring parents want the very best for their kids.   

You want them to succeed.  You want them to have great relationships.  You want them to reach their full potential.  It’s never too early, to start building your children’s self- awareness.….helping them understand their inner thoughts and feelings, giving them a language for what is going on inside them.

This is especially important for parents who want their children to reach their full potential and have an edge in life. 

Decades of research shows that children who are more self-aware and have higher emotional intelligence are:

more successful in school
advance further in their profession
land higher paying jobs
have happier long-lasting relationships. 
Act less entitled 
Show more empathy towards others

In this series of 6 videos, I’ll show you simple ways you can teach your children about their emotions using fun games and activities 

If this topic is of interest to you, I’d love to hear your questions in the comment section below.  I’m developing the series as we go, and want to make it especially relevant for you. 

Helping your children Recognize and name their emotions can help calm those emotions….   

The brain science tells us that connecting thought with a feeling actually takes some energy out of the emotion.  If you can name it you can tame it.

We start the Meltdown method by teaching their little ones to recognize 4 basic emotions and help them identify those feelings with one word. We use games to do this because when you pair fun with learning – things stick.

Glad, Sad, Calm, Mad

Feelings are good because they give us information about what is going on inside us. 

Once they have a basic vocabulary to name their emotions, then we can go on to teach them how to work with those feelings in healthy ways.

Ex. Bedtime Books – use one of your kids’ favorite books.  Notice the facial expression on one of the characters and ask – what do you think they are feeling? Have you ever felt that way?  When did you feel that feeling? Give room to actively listen to what they share and affirm them for putting words to their feelings.

When Amy started helping her little boy understand what was going on inside of him, and gave him words and a language for his feelings, slowly but surely those temper tantrums decreased in their intensity, and faded into the past.  

If you’d like some sample games and activities to play with your child, to help them increase their self-awareness and nurture their emotional intelligence, grab the tip sheet at the link below. (link to opt-in)  

I’m Pam Vredevelt, professional counselor and creator of the Meltdown Method.  We’re talking about ways to curb meltdowns and raise emotionally intelligent kids in this series.  If that interests you, subscribe to my youtube channel and we’ll notify you when the next video is released. 

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

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5 Tips for Better Sleep After a Loss

Have you ever had one of those nights when you tossed and turned and couldn’t turn the lights off in your brain?

Did you know that sleepless nights tend to increase when you are in the midst of a major life transition or having to adjust to the loss of a loved one, a job change, or disappointing news about your health?

In this video, Dr. Michael Breus, America’s Sleep Doctor, and I talk about how you can improve the quality of your sleep when stress is high and you’re in the throes of grief.

Michael J. Breus, Ph.D., is a Clinical Psychologist and both a Diplomate of the American Board of Sleep Medicine and a Fellow of The American Academy of Sleep Medicine. With a specialty in Sleep Disorders, he is one of only 168 psychologists in the world with his credentials and distinction. Dr. Breus is on the clinical advisory board of The Dr. Oz Show and appears regularly on the show.

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://www.HealingYourEmptyArms.com

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Words of Healing for Moms this Mother’s Day After the Loss of Your Baby or Child From a Couple Who Has Been There

You’re not alone if you are struggling with loss.

Mother’s Day is often filled with a mixture of many feelings, especially when you’ve suffered the loss of a baby or child.

In Video #7 of our seven-part Mother’s Day series, my friends, Tim and Sara, tell the story of their loss and happy new beginnings.  What they share is sure to deliver fresh hope to moms and dads who are grieving.

Do you know someone who may find value in Tim and Sarah’s story? We invite you to pass it along.

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://www.HealingYourEmptyArms.com

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What Can a Community Leader Say this Mother’s Day to Moms Who Have Lost a Baby or Child?

Pastors.  Ministers. Priests.  Rabbis. Community Leaders.  

These are get-up-and-go-to-work people like you and me, who struggle with knowing what to say to the moms in their community, who have suffered the loss of a baby or child.

These community leaders often ask me honest questions:

Is it even possible to honor a mother’s loss in my public gathering without trespassing personal boundaries?

Is it insensitive or inconsiderate to draw attention to moms who are mourning?  

Is this private women’s issue better left untouched in a public setting?

These are relevant questions that deserve candid answers.

In Video #6 of our seven-part Mother’s Day series, Jessie and I suggest 3 ways that community leaders can offer hope and healing this Mother’s Day to moms who have lost a baby or a child.

Do you know a community leader who may benefit from these tips? We invite you to pass this along.

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://www.HealingYourEmptyArms.com

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What Do You Say to Your Granddaughter this Mother’s Day After the Loss of Her Baby or Child?

I’ll never forget my mom’s words shortly after our baby died. She said very little and listened intently as I poured out my heart.  But what she did say stuck:

I’m so sorry, honey.  It’s hard for Grandparent’s, too.

I’m forever grateful to my parents for the loving support they have given our family through the many ups and downs of life.

While Moms who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, the loss of a baby or child appreciate and need support, one of the most common occurrences on Mother’s Day is the worst one … in an effort to avoid making a mistake people say nothing at all.

Let’s change that trend and offer hope and healing.

In Video #5 of our seven-part Mother’s Day series, I talk with my 88-year-old favorite mentor, friend, and Father about what a Grandparent can say to their Grandchild’s family on Mother’s Day, after the loss of their baby or child.

My Dad is one of the most compassionate people I know.  He also has a wonderful way with words. In this video, Dad reads the letter he plans to enclose in Jessie’s Mother’s Day card.  

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://www.HealingYourEmptyArms.com

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What Do You Say to Your Sister this Mother’s Day After the Loss of Her Baby or Child?

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching. What are you going to say to your sister? How will you reach out with words of hope and healing?  

While Moms who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, the loss of a baby or child appreciate and need support, one of the most common occurrences on Mother’s Day is the worst one … in an effort to avoid making a mistake people say nothing at all.

That hurts.

And its why Jessie and I created seven Mother’s Day Videos and Tip Sheets, designed to help you share compassionate messages of remembrance and support that promote healing and grief relief.

In Video #4 of this Mother’s Day series, Jessie and I talk about what siblings can say to their sister on Mother’s Day, after the passing of her baby or child.

Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel  to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.

You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://www.HealingYourEmptyArms.com

Share on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Pinterest

 

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