Pam Vredevelt's Blog, page 6
October 25, 2018
Focus On The Family Hope & Healing Video Series
Losing a baby or a child is the hardest, most painful experience a parent can endure. It leaves a hole in the soul that seems impossible to fill.
The greatest challenge for those who have suffered this kind of loss, is finding wise guidance and compassionate support to work through the pain in ways that result in positive transformation and deep healing.
I understand not everyone in this community has personally experienced the loss of a baby or child, but chances are we probably know someone who has. And while it’s not an easy subject to talk about, it is an important one.
That’s why I’m grateful Focus On The Family is especially sensitive to this issue and invited me to speak with Jim Daly and John Fuller about it on their radio show and in a series of articles and videos in their online magazine. In honor of all those who have loved and lost little ones, October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It’s a good time to let someone know you are thinking about them, and to pass along some hope and healing. Will you take a moment to reach out and share these resources with a friend?
Click here for the Focus On The Family Radio Show Interview
Click here for the Focus On The Family article about processing grief after a miscarriage and Jessie Vredevelt Schultz’s video of her love letter Chloe.
Click here for the 3-part video/article series Focus On the Family is offering: Moving Forward After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or the Loss of Your Baby or Child – Healing Your Broken Heart
Click here for the video of the radio broadcast interview: Focus On the Family Video
Thank you for caring enough to simply click and share.
October 13, 2018
Finding Meaning After Miscarriage
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Why me? Why my baby?
These are common questions after you’ve suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth or the loss of your child.
Focus on the Family (FOTF) invited me to speak to this issue.
I open up in this 4 part series, sharing lessons I learned in the trenches after our baby, David, and sixteen-year-old son, Nathan, relocated to heaven.
One thing I know:
Finding meaning often begins in the dark.
To kick off the series, FOTF shares a video of our daughter, Jessie Vredevelt Schultz, reading a love letter to her baby Chloe, who left the womb for heaven a few months ago. Jessie honors her daughter’s precious life, and the God she loves who gives treasures in the dark.
I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places, That you may know that I, the Lord,
Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel.
-Is 45:3, NKJV
Monday, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
Scientific research shows that moms feel very alone after a miscarriage or the loss of their baby. There’s a good reason for this. People around them don’t want to bring up the subject for fear of saying the wrong thing. The topic is uncomfortable.
But every mom I’ve met who has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, loss of a baby or child, longed for someone to notice and remember.
Will you be that person?
Who do you know that might benefit from this series?
To begin the FOTF Video Series click here: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-...
Pam Vredevelt is a Professional Counselor and Coach, best-selling author of Empty Arms, and the Empty Arms Journal. Jessie Vredevelt Schultz is a business consultant and transformation coach. They co-lead an online Video training, Healing Your Empty Arms: A transformation experience after the loss of your baby or child, for emotional healing, personal growth, and spiritual renewal. healing-your-empty-arms.teachable.com
The post Finding Meaning After Miscarriage appeared first on Pam Vredevelt.
May 24, 2018
Empty Arms and Goodbye to Grandbaby Baby Chloe
A month ago John and I ate char burgers loaded with all the extras on our daughter and son-in-law’s back patio. After a long grey winter, it was our first taste of summer.
A happy lilt danced in Jessie’s voice.
Daisy show Mimi your new shirt.
Two-year old Daisy spins around and proudly pats her tummy.
Mimi, See my shirt?!
I scream. John jumps. Without a word, I instantly know what he is thinking.
What the heck?! is written all over his face. I smile pointing to Daisy’s shirt.
Almost on cue, cheerful shouts and peals of laughter rise loud enough for the neighbors clear across the street to hear. The shirt says . . .
I’m going to be a BIG SISTER.
Our prayers are finally answered. After a season of waiting, they’re on the cusp of something wonderful.
I get it. They held off announcing the good news until the higher-risk weeks of pregnancy had passed. And why wouldn’t they? It’s totally natural to proceed with caution after suffering a miscarriage.
The longing to grow their little family is finally on the way to being fulfilled.
That is, until today. During a routine check-up, Jessie and Chris heard those same earth shattering words I heard during my first pregnancy, “I’m not picking up a heartbeat.”
It’s hard to pinpoint the epicenter of these feelings of powerlessness.
All I know is that it hurts to see those you love hurt. The painful labor. The broken hearts. The sad ending of a precious life.
We rally as a family, doing what we can to comfort and care. Tears. Chicken soup. Flowers. Tears. Extra love hugs and 24/7 prayers.
Jesus help them. Give them hope. Comfort their hearts.
Daisy snuggles bring relief.
I know they’ll get through it. As young twenty-somethings they carried each other through the dark years after Jessie’s younger brother died following a fluke accident. Being the first ones on the scene that night, they are walking, living proof that healing can and does happen.
But that doesn’t take away the great sadness of today.
They name their little girl Chloe. It means tender green shoot.
I whisper her name as the tears stream, and I pray through the midnight hours.
Chloe.
It’s the name especially chosen for you, little one.
We love you, Chloe. We’re sad you left, and thankful we get to hold you in heaven.
Hug Nathan and Baby V for us.
If someone you know and love suffered a miscarriage, but you don’t quite know how to help … invite them to join us on a very special healing journey called “Healing Your Empty Arms” beginning on October 11, 2018. Click here for details.
The post Empty Arms and Goodbye to Grandbaby Baby Chloe appeared first on Pam Vredevelt.
Grace Upon Grace
A month ago John and I ate char burgers loaded with all the extras on our daughter and son-in-law’s back patio. After a long grey winter, it was our first taste of summer.
A happy lilt danced in Jessie’s voice.
Daisy show Mimi your new shirt.
Two-year old Daisy spins around and proudly pats her tummy.
Mimi, See my shirt?!
I scream. John jumps. Without a word, I instantly know what he is thinking.
What the heck?! is written all over his face. I smile pointing to Daisy’s shirt.
Almost on cue, cheerful shouts and peals of laughter rise loud enough for the neighbors clear across the street to hear. The shirt says . . .
I’m going to be a BIG SISTER.
Our prayers are finally answered. After a season of waiting, they’re on the cusp of something wonderful.
I get it. They held off announcing the good news until the higher-risk weeks of pregnancy had passed. And why wouldn’t they? It’s totally natural to proceed with caution after suffering a miscarriage.
The longing to grow their little family is finally on the way to being fulfilled.
That is, until today. During a routine check-up, Jessie and Chris heard those same earth shattering words I heard during my first pregnancy, “I’m not picking up a heartbeat.”
It’s hard to pinpoint the epicenter of these feelings of powerlessness.
All I know is that it hurts to see those you love hurt. The painful labor. The broken hearts. The sad ending of a precious life.
We rally as a family, doing what we can to comfort and care. Tears. Chicken soup. Flowers. Tears. Extra love hugs and 24/7 prayers.
Jesus help them. Give them hope. Comfort their hearts.
Daisy snuggles bring relief.
I know they’ll get through it. As young twenty-somethings they carried each other through the dark years after Jessie’s younger brother died following a fluke accident. Being the first ones on the scene that night, they are walking, living proof that healing can and does happen.
But that doesn’t take away the great sadness of today.
They name their little girl Chloe. It means tender green shoot.
I whisper her name as the tears stream, and I pray through the midnight hours.
Chloe.
It’s the name especially chosen for you, little one.
We love you, Chloe. We’re sad you left, and thankful we get to hold you in heaven.
Hug Nathan and Baby V for us.
If someone you know and love suffered a miscarriage, but you don’t quite know how to help … invite them to join us on a very special healing journey called “Healing Your Empty Arms” beginning on June 16th. Click here for details.
May 12, 2018
A Love Letter Written to Grieving Moms on Mother’s Day
Authenticity rings true. When Cameron Dunlap says ‘I feel your pain’ to fellow grieving Moms, I believe her. I think you will, too.
Remembering you today with love. . .
Dear Grieving Mother,
I feel your pain. I know this day looks nothing like it should.
You don't know me, but you do know my heart—and I know yours.
I carry your loss with me as an invisible security blanket as I go about my days. I think of you when I'm struggling, knowing somewhere out there, you're struggling, too. I imagine you holding your lifeless child or having to make horrific decisions, and I feel less alone.
I am aware of how many aspects of your personality have shifted, how much you've suffered, how often you've felt shunned from our death-avoidant society. I will not demand that you count your blessings today, and you don't have to fake a smile.
Today, I hope you do whatever you want, although I realize that what you really want is your child and a "normal" day again. But if a movie piques your interest, please, treat yourself. If junk food sounds okay, eat up.
If you want to stay in bed all day, I hope you have cozy blankets and that you allow yourself that quietude. If you break down into a heaving mess on the floor, it's okay. You can't be expected not to. If you don't cry, or if this day seems insignificant, or if you feel numb, that's fine, too.
You might feel left out today. You'll likely sense the blurry line between your motherhood and your otherhood. Maybe today you won't see your baby's gummy grins, or your toddler won't give you an endearingly messy preschool creation with macaroni glued onto it.
Maybe your big kid won't bring you breakfast in bed, or your teenager won't sheepishly offer you a card or say "Thanks, Mom." Maybe your collegiate child won't call you, or your adult child won't send you flowers. It's not fair, and I'm so sorry.
Ignore Mother's Day if that would be easier. Run errands, or keep yourself busy with small, achievable tasks around your home. You do not have to answer calls, open your door, or speak. You owe no one an explanation or an apology. If others don't understand, consider them lucky.
More than most others can, you can deeply appreciate why Barbara Bush's hair went gray in her 20s, or why Joe Biden didn't run for president in 2016, because, as he said, "I didn't have the emotional energy to do it."
Let no one—I repeat, no one—tell you that you should or could feel differently if you would just do this or that. Your grief is not someone else's problem to solve. You're doing the best you can, and you know it. You don't need fixing. You are not a burden, today or any day.
But if you do want to celebrate or acknowledge this day, you are more than entitled to do so. You're not only a mother, you're an unusually courageous, tender, tenacious one. Your child, like mine, might be your most pervading thought, the most influential human you've ever known, and the most ignored and minimized aspect of your life.
You're a mother with an unwanted but hard-earned awareness of life's fragility. You know the brutal and mysterious complexity of loving your child across time and space, in this lifetime and into the next. You have earned your place at this table.
You probably have friends who've quietly slipped out the back door, although their absence feels loud. But I also hope you have solid supporters—even just one or two—who accept you as you are, without forced nudges toward the future, or changes of subject, or fixations on the positive despite your pain. And if you don't have those supportive people, please consider me one.
I assure you, you are good enough, scars and all.
Grieving mother, you're tougher than anyone realizes, especially including yourself. I'm willing to bet there's nothing—literally, nothing—anyone can say or do that will rattle you today the way your child's death did.
You've already faced the most incomprehensible, dreaded news a human can hear. Somehow, although perhaps you did not want to, you still woke up the next day. And the next.
For what it's worth, I look at you with boiling-over admiration. No other mothers stoke the flames in my heart like grieving ones. Whether you're in a season of waiting, or hurting, or hoping—or all of the above—you matter.
Remember this today: you are not alone. Grieving mother, we're in this together.
Missing your child and mine,
Another Grieving Mother
The post A Love Letter Written to Grieving Moms on Mother’s Day appeared first on Pam Vredevelt.
May 9, 2018
A Mother’s Day Gift – Remembering Those Who Hurt
Have you noticed?
Everywhere you turn, one word keeps popping up like spring flowers: MOTHER.
It's a word that causes some women to feel love and joy, and others to feel sad, angry, and confused. I've had my fair share of years being in the second group.
Mother's Day is particularly rough for those who have lost a baby or child.
Can we make a point to remember them with love this week?
In honor of these women, I've created a gift set of three free videos designed to offer
comfort, guidance and hope:
This series is accompanied by 3 video Help Sheets, to take notes and guide them through the tips that are shared.
May I ask a favor?
Will you share this gift with friends and family this week?
Learn more about the free gift videos by viewing this video:
Anyone can sign up to receive the free series by clicking the button below:
Sign Me Up!
Thank you for hearing my heart and remembering with love.
Warmly,
The post A Mother’s Day Gift – Remembering Those Who Hurt appeared first on Pam Vredevelt.
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March 8, 2018
Christian Entrepreneur Movement- Hearing God In Business
“Success is more of a reflection of being faithful to what God is asking you to do.
If I'm faithful to what God is asking me to do, I'm successful."
Pam Vredevelt
I’m willing to bet you have some important decisions ahead. Options to sort out. Pros and cons to weigh.
In this 20 minute video interview Paje Ray and I spotlight an essential key for making excellent decisions, and I introduce important faith-based business insights such as:
Your relationship with God sets you apart in the marketplace.Acting on God whispers is critical to your success. . .even when they don’t fully make sense to you.God is a redeeming genius!
As well as…
3 strategic questions to consider when seeking clarity and direction on a potentially profitable business opportunity.
To access the video interview on Hearing God In Your Business Decisions, click here:
[image error]Click to Watch
Be sure to grab the special gift video and workbook offered at the end of this interview where I cover
3 Practical Tips on How to Hear God in Your Business. It's designed for your easy and immediate use.
One thing I know for sure. . .following a God whisper always leads to your highest good and God's highest glory.
Be blessed!
Professional Counselor
Best-selling author
Have you missed previous interviews but would still like to join us?
No worries, we have a couple of options for you:
The interviews are available for 72 hours each! Click here to pick up starting now, free of charge.
JOIN IN NOW
If you would like to watch all of the interviews at your own leisure, click below to get all of the interviews for a low price of $47!
PURCHASE ALL
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February 19, 2018
Christian Entrepreneur Movement
Do you ever feel called to a higher purpose, but struggle finding clarity and direction of that purpose?
I understand! I've been right where you are.
There are so many resources and options out there that it can be difficult to pin point the "one thing" or the "next thing" to invest in, to make the world a better place.
I know you are passionate about making a positive difference. This is why you're seeking clarity on how and where to invest your time and God-given talents in alignment with God's purposes for your life.
I'm excited to tell you that my friend and Transformation Coach, Paje Rey, has created a no-cost interview series called:
[image error]Paje Ray, recently experienced a breakthrough that drastically changed her life. Within six months, her young family went from feeling trapped in debt to financially breaking free—from renting a bedroom in a friend's house to living in their own place debt free.
In the midst of her struggles, Paje grew deep in faith and experienced God's love and generosity in some pretty amazing ways. She is passionate about helping people bridge the gaps between personal development, professional success, and spiritual fulfillment.
That's what The Christian Entrepreneur Movement is all about.
Over the course of the series, 30 hand-picked experts will share stories and proven methods to help you face head-on the ‘clarity’ challenges that can come in any business. You’ll meet successful men and women who have overcome huge hardships and learned life-changing lessons. These experts will offer you a wealth of wisdom and assist you in realizing your God-driven dreams.
Specifically, you'll learn:
How to clarify what success means to you and lay out an action plan to achieve it.Specific habits that lead to breakthrough, and how to implement them daily so that you can thrive.Simple steps that will energize you and build momentum in your personal and professional life.How hearing God activates faith, ignites momentum, and triggers exponential forward movement. [image error]I am excited to share my own professional story, along with tips on "How to Hear God in Your Business".
I really hope it serves you.
One more thing before you go...
My mission is to be an encourager and guiding light that increases the quality of life of each person I reach. If you haven’t already done so, please post a comment and tell me a bit about how you partner with God in life/business, and what you need help with most right now to move forward. I’d love to hear more about your goals and what I can do to help. The more specific you are about what you want to improve, the better.
I hope you'll join us starting March 1.
Thanks again and "see you" in the comments!
With love,
[image error][image error]December 30, 2017
Coping With Grief During the Holidays – Tip #5
When we are grieving, sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to others. People ask, “How are you really doing?” They genuinely care. But sometimes we just aren’t in the mood and don’t feel like talking about how we really feel. So how can we be emotionally honest with others in ways that promote healing? If you want to move forward in your recovery after a loss, here are some simple tips on how to deal with this struggle
What are some other kind ways to respond that have worked for you?
Post your ideas below so that everyone can benefit. You are not alone. We’re in this together.
Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel to get notifications when new video tips are available!
Leave a comment below and let me know what you struggle with and which tip makes a difference for you.
Share this post with others to raise awareness and increase sensitivity to those who are grieving. Simply click the social media sharing buttons below to impact some lives now!
Have a topic you’d like me to share tips about? Click here and let me know! I’d love to hear from you!
