Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 43

The Perils of Serving with a Hypocritical Heart

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Have you ever done a good work and realized it was more about you then the person you were doing the good work for?  Ever served tirelessly and been tempted to focus on yourself and the payoff you might get instead of bringing glory to God?

If so, you’re not alone. The Pharisees did all their good works for people to see so others would esteem them. But Jesus exhorted them for their hypocritical hearts. Here’s what he said:

They were more interested in their own agendas than the Kingdom

They wanted to do things their way. Their need to be praised blinded them to the underlying motives of pride and control in their hearts

They were insincere

The Pharisees often took oaths to feel good about themselves but they did it to impress others, not because they had pure hearts

They worshiped rules not relationships

They cared more about people’s behavior than they did about their hearts. Their need to focus on the law trumped an intimate relationship with God. They tried to look good on the outside, but inside they were full of “dead man’s bones.

Serving, or being in a place of leadership carries tremendous responsibility, and it’s easy to be blinded by hidden faults or wrong motives.

How do we solve the problem and keep a pure heart?

By developing a sense of self-awareness and taking time to pray and examine our hearts before God, something the Pharisees didn’t do.

Next, by finding an accountability partner. Someone who will be honest with us about our hidden faults and speak the truth into our lives like Nathan the prophet did for King David (2Samuel 12).

What are some hidden faults we may be blind to? Here are a few to consider:

Control
Tying to prove our self-worth through performing
Self dependence instead of dependence on God
Focusing on appearances
People Pleasing instead of God pleasing
Assuming we know more than others (pride)

Service can be a wearisome task if we do it in our own strength, but if chose to depend on Christ as we serve, it can grow us like no other spiritual discipline.

Transformation will flow from a humble heart. If some of the afore mentioned attitudes have taken center stage in your life, here are a few suggestions to deal a death- blow to the flesh:

Cultivate humility through prayer
Surrender your rights to have things your way
Consider what needs are being met through your service (value/worth, adequacy, love) and allow Christ to meet them, not others
Examine what beliefs you’re holding about yourself, God and others that may need modifying (i.e. I know how to get the job done better than others)
Forgive. Don’t let a root of bitterness spring up when you don’t get your way or when others hurt or disappoint you

In Psalm 19, David asks God to deliver him from hidden faults because he understood the perils of hypocrisy. Take time today to ask the Father to reveal any patterns that may be offensive in you, and be willing to receive the answer with an open heart.

 

 

 

Love it Forward: Day Twenty-Two

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

That coworker you dread seeing every day? Pay him or her a compliment. A little kindness goes a long way in repairing relationships.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Meet Pearl Girl: Lisa Bogart

Lisa Bogart is the author of Knit With Love, Stories to Warm a Knitter’s Heart and Come On In, Taking the Hassle Out of Hospitality. She works part time at Piedmont Yarn in Oakland, CA. She won the Guideposts Writer’s Workshop in 2010. Lisa and her husband Rod live in San Rafael, CA. Their son, Zachary, is studying neuroscience at Boston University. They are learning to love the empty nest. You can find Lisa online at LisaBogart.com

How did you become a writer?

I journaled a lot as a teenager. When my son, Zach, was born in 1993 we lived far from family. So I journaled about being a new mom. I sent (yes by snail mail) my journal entries to all my relatives so they could “see” Zach growing up. All that journaling lead to taking writing classes and then attending writing conferences.

What is your life verse?

Of course many come to mind. And it changes over my lifetime. The verse I think of often these days is

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

What motivates you to write for charity?

Being part of a community with a passion is a great gift for each participate. I am selfish enough to want in and humble enough to know I will learn from the group.

What is your favorite food? I love comfort foods.

Sweet: Bread pudding

Savory: Fried Chicken

If you were stuck on a deserted island what 5 items would you take?

My husband Rod

My photo albums, the good old fashion paper kind

Writing materials to journal

My stash of knitting yarn and supplies

Bible, have to have a good book to read

Love it Forward: Day Twenty-One

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

See a meter that’s about to expire while you’re walking to work? Stick an extra quarter in there.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Love it Forward: Day Twenty

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

Head over to your local American Red Cross and give blood.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Do We Ever Get Frustrated?

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We dearly love our son, but when asked by a young couple (whose child has special needs) if we ever get frustrated, we knew it was TIME FOR TRANSPARENCY!

Even after 31 years, there are great times of exhaustion and frustration in parenting or caring for one with special needs. My mom was my dad’s primary caregiver – dealing with his Alzheimer’s led her to moments of frustration. Others I know who have one or more children with special needs share that they, too, loose it. Sadly, here is what happened to me one day:

I had been listening all day….and was tired of hearing Joey’s loud screaming and vocal noises as he played his video games. I thought I could just scream – wait a minute – I did! As I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, I totally imitated him and caught him by surprise, frightening him just like he had done all day long to me. I think I caught my husband by surprise, also! Yes, I lowered myself to that behavior. I did it out of total frustration, shocking, more than surprising the two men in my life that I love more than anything!

Times like that are not nearly as often and not nearly as challenging as the early years, and perhaps nothing like you’re dealing with in your life right now. In the early days there was much to be learned, experienced, figured out, dealt with, and it’s all dumped on the “plate” of life in a huge portion! The frustration we all experience is often the accumulation of emotions and unmet expectations throughout the day and week.

Often the very love we have for our loved one urges us to stay near to them to love and care for them, so it IS normal to get frustrated – but never should we be abusive. When we get to a point of frustration, it’s time for our spouse or another person in our life, to “take over” like Joe did when he got Joey ready for bed that night. We have learned the “dance” that works for us. I hope you will find the “dance” that works for you so that your loved one (and YOU) remains well cared for – and well loved!

Family Museum–Legacy of Love

“Where did you get that beautiful old quilt?  It looks hand-made,” said the silver-haired woman, as she paused in front of the glass doors of the old cherrywood bookcase that stands in the entry hall of our home.  “And look at those lovely serving spoons and the Fostoria serving set. My grandmother had one just like it. And that old Bible.  And the Shirley Temple drinking cup,” she added. “What treasures!”

The guest in our home was referring to the heirlooms my husband Charles and I had on display in what has come to be known as The Family Museum. Some years ago as we were packing and unpacking boxes during a move, we paused to look at all the items that had come down through the generations of our families: real china play dishes that were nearly a century old, my husband’s first metronome from his childhood piano-playing days, his father’s  railroad pocket watch, a dictionary my grandfather had given me on my eleventh birthday–and many more items of  great personal value.

Charles suggested we select as many as our bookcase could artfully hold, clean them up, and put them on display.  The books could go on a shelf in the den. But our heirlooms, many of them priceless to us, should be set out for friends and family to enjoy.

Today our collection of treasures is also a living museum as we periodically add small, special things that represent our ongoing lives: a yarn doll we bought in Mexico, a creche set made in Germany, our children’s first shoes. Most important, however, our museum serves as an anchor to the past, as it reminds us of people and events that cannot be replaced or duplicated–especially in the lives of our sons and daughters and grandchildren.

If such a custom interests you, it is easy to get started.

• Ask your parents or other living relatives for photos, shoes, trinkets, coins, spoons, cups, old books, a glass water pitcher, or other items that have special meaning to your family.  Such things may already be in your possession or in an attic, basement, or closet of a family member.

Chances are your relatives would be proud and pleased to share them with  you. My mother was so flattered when I asked her to save me one of my grandmother’s hand-painted ice cream dishes, that she gave me the entire set on the spot! I kept one for myself and passed on the others to each of my grown daughters, my sister, and my niece.

• Place items on a shelf where they will be easily seen, or like us, buy or make a cabinet with glass doors for a permanent and safe display.

• Make your collection as personal as you wish. It can be a tribute to the past, a living memory of current times, or a blend of the two–a testimony to your individual and family connections.

Tip:   Put a sticker on the bottom of each treasure or heirloom in your family museum, noting the name of the persons (your children, for example, or other loved ones) you wish to leave them to after you’re gone. Make a master list and keep it with your important papers, such as your will. You’ll be leaving a legacy of love that will bless many generations to come.

 

 

More than Drywall

In his book Approaching God, Steve Brown wrote, “The reason the church will never die . . . is because the church is the resident place for the God of the universe.”  What he was saying is that you and I are the real “church” of our Lord Jesus.

Last autumn a tornado ripped through a town and left nothing standing in its path. Debris covered the ground, power lines were down, and buildings were leveled. One of the most unrecognizable buildings was the town’s church. The residents were devastated by the damage done to their beloved church’s steeple, its beautiful stained-glass windows, and the pews in which they had sat, cried, and prayed fervently.

Too often, like these people in Oklahoma, we think of the church as a building, and we confine God to that building. The church is more than drywall, carpet, and electrical wires. It is much more than a structure. The church is the body of Christ, and we are all members of it. God resides in each of us and unifies us. We are the church and—ome what may . . .  whether wars, famine, or tornadoes—God resides in the body of His church.

The older I become, the more I appreciate the church for what it really is. As a child and even a teenager, church was a building. It was where Sunday school took place. It was where the worship team made beautiful music. It was where we have youth group and fundraisers. But now I realize that the church isn’t made of drywall; it’s made of people just like me striving toward that end goal of meeting God face to face and hearing the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” The real church is made of the body of Christ, and no building or structure can contain it.

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Love if Forward: Day Nineteen

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

Take your pastor or pastor wife or someone who serves the community out for lunch.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

A New Love

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Brian Leahy Photography

After losing my first husband, Mark, in a plane crash, I thought that I would never be able to truly love another man again. My heart was shred to pieces and I was certain that going forward, God had in mind for me to live a life in which I would remain single. I had loved Mark very deeply and I felt as though no man could ever replace him as my husband. I was right. No man could. However, what I failed to realize, was that God can work in all things to bring about new love. He can provide love that doesn’t take away from the previous, but instead adds to it.

I had thought that the part of my heart that held and gave romantic love was Mark’s and Mark’s alone. I had learned to give my heart to many others, but certainly not romantically. That compartment was closed. The other compartment, the one that feels empathy and love for others in this world grew. I could feel more love for them and I focused on finding purpose in that. I thought that certainly God intended to use me as young widow and to perhaps prove to others that you can live life without a spouse. The love I had received from Mark, the love that God me through him, provided me with such strength in this.

When I met my now husband, John, I was living an entirely new life in California. I had moved from the midwest, where I lived with Mark, and  I had a new career and new friends. I was feeling purpose with my travel business, my writing, and all that I had involved myself with. God was providing me with some amazing adventures and I was grateful.

John pursued me with a quiet confidence and we began dating. I initially viewed it as very casual but as time went on it grew in intensity and I knew it was leading towards marriage. This terrified me and brought up many emotions that I had to deal with. As a result, I often tried to break things off with John. I didn’t think I could love him enough as I thought that part of my heart had no more to give. I also thought marriage wasn’t for me and so I prayed and even fasted about our relationship, expecting God to tell me to break up with him. Instead, I found Him encouraging me to stay. I was often shocked by this response and it took both faith and courage for me to stay the course. I kept a journal and in looking back, I can clearly see the signs that God provided in encouraging our relationship. I eventually decided to let go and trust God.  In doing this, my love for John grew and so did my capacity to feel the love he had for me. I felt the benefits of trusting God. We were married in an absolutely gorgeous private ceremony this past fall.

What we think is best for our life may not always be and just when we think we have God’s plan for our life figured out, He moves us in a new direction. God loves us and He wants us to rely on Him. He wants us to be willing to change at any moment to align our lives to His will. He wants us in prayer and He wants us to always be growing in love for others. God has taught me that He can provide new life in ways in which we can’t even fathom. People can’t be replaced, but life can be reframed and God can provide more love in your heart than you had ever thought possible!