Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 44

Our First and Last Vacation

My husband and I breathed a sigh of relief when the plane took off. Home sweet home. It used to be that returning home after three weeks of vacation seemed so depressing. But this time, well, we had just survived our first vacation with a 4 month old. An accomplishment indeed!

Long romantic walks on the beach, watching the sunset from the big rocks on the shore, picnic lunches, game nights…never happened. Instead, everything was timed around naps {a rare occurrence} and feeding times {which were way too often!} Yes, we had a fussy, growing, out-of-routine baby on our hands.

At the end of every night, after finally convincing David that sleep was the best option, the three of us crashed. The waves of exhaustion felt like the only thing we were swimming in for a couple weeks.

All my hubby and I were looking for was a bit of a break. We were new parents searching for a refreshing time away from the usual routine. A vacation at the beach with family seemed blissful. Thankfully, I didn’t go with too many expectations; I had a hunch it would be difficult.

Challenging. Vacation. Those two words definitely didn’t go together for us…until now.

Although we didn’t vocalize it to one another when we stepped foot into our tiny apartment it felt more like vacation than the beach.

As nice as romantic walks in the sand, sunset conversations, picnics, and late night game evenings sounded, it really wasn’t what we needed.

What we actually needed was to realize that, with the Lord, we can honestly find the rest and refreshing we are looking for every day… wherever we are. We know this, but now we really know this after our first vacation with our new baby.

In actuality, we were searching for that we already had right in front of us. God offers us a rest that we will never find in a three week getaway to the beach.

So with that said, this was David’s first and last “vacation.” From now on, we don’t need to wait until the holidays roll around until we get to feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

I guess you could say we don’t believe in vacations anymore.

Our break isn’t found in the perfect place, the nicest ocean property, the quietest, most tranquil cabin in the woods, or a five-star bed and breakfast.

I’m not saying we don’t need to get away sometimes, we do! But the point is God offers us a deeper rest right where we are.  Unlike the once or twice a year vacations we so look forward to, God’s getaway place is always open and accessible, whether you are at home, at work, or have a screaming babe in your arms.

It may sound cheesy to you, but God can top every destination and resort that travel magazines has to offer.

Enter into his rest today. Anticipate and expect Him to usher you away today into the beautiful places of his presence-let Him crash over you with His refreshing waves of peace.

Love it Forward: Day Eighteen

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

Make some blessing bags for the homeless.

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Many Ways to Say I Love you

I love DATE NIGHT! Anticipating an evening alone with Scott and dressing up (even if it’s just a extra spritz of perfume) still puts me in a really good mood. Spending time alone together rekindles the flame and helps us keep our marriage strong. It’s good for our kids too.

One of the best gifts you can give your children is a great marriage. There’s a tremendous sense of security when children see their parents getting along and enjoying one another’s company. Also, your relationship provides a model for marriage. Unconditional love is displayed as you and your spouse work through differences, forgive one another, and love through thick and thin.

Spontaneous dates are tough with little ones in the house. A plan is necessary! Unfortunately the plan is often times determined by the babysitter’s schedule. Funny thing…a thirteen-year-old can dictate date night. Sick kids can play into the equation too. I remember one special evening. Scott and I had a wonderful plan for date night; dinner, an over night in a hotel downtown, and breakfast in bed. We had barely reached our destination when the sitter called to inform us one of our darlings was throwing up, violently. He wanted Mom and Dad. We returned home ASAP.

Dates are great but there are other ways to keep the love alive.

• Say “I love you” everyday. Say it with words, a text message, an e-mail or a card. (I wouldn’t advise lipstick on the mirror. Memorable, yes, but it’s a mess!)

• Share the story of how the two of you met with your children. Family stories are beautiful.

•Always greet each other with a kiss. The first few minutes you spent together sets the tone for the evening.

•Enjoy couple time after the kids are in bed.

• Listen to one another. Really listen. Keep communication lines open.

• Praise each other. For each “constructive suggestion,” give nine or ten praises.

• Forgive as you have been forgiven. Accept forgiveness. Whether you like it or not, you can be part of the problem!

• Be flexible. There is little room for rigidity in marriage or families. When asked for help, always say, “Yes.” This is the Golden Rule in action!

•Most importantly, pray together, attend church together, and read the Bible together.

The two of you were a couple before the kids came along. Make time for one another and have fun!

Love it Forward: Day Seventeen

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

If you take public transportation, pay for the person getting on the bus or subway behind you.

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Love it Forward: Day Sixteen

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Tape the correct change needed for a soda on the soda machine.

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Love it Forward: Day Fifteen

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Slip a $5 grocery store gift card and a note into the basket or cart of a random stranger.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

Connecting Through Ponies — My Dream Job

A few months ago at a writer’s conference, I listened as a father in the audience shared the story of finally buying a horse for his daughters. For years, he’d turned a deaf ear to their pleading. Horses are expensive, dangerous, smelly, just a fad, he reasoned. They’ll grow out of it.

Then, a wise old grandpa gave him a bit of advice–or a glimpse into the future. “When a girl turns thirteen–” he told the young dad, “–she’ll either fall in love with a boy, or a horse, depending on which one’s available.”

The young dad quickly went out and bought his daughters a horse. He hasn’t since regretted it.

So, not long ago, someone asked me this: If you could have any sort of dream career (other than the one you have) what would it be?

Writing has always been my dream career. My first grade teacher made a writer out of me, and from then on I loved the feeling of living in a story. I loved discovering the ways that stories can bring us into the lives of others and into ourselves. Stories teach through experience, and when we experience something, we learn.

Because I was a horse-crazy girl, most of my story experiences back-in-the-day involved horses.

Which leads me to my “someday” dream career — the career I’d love to have, if I weren’t a writer.

My dream career would be connecting girls to themselves, and God, and each other, through ponies. It might sound impractical, but bear with me a minute. I’m not completely off on a wild tangent of the sort that only a flaky storyteller-type can invent. These days, there are many wonderful therapy programs in which horses are used as therapy animals for kids with a variety of mental, physical, and emotional challenges. As a teenager, I worked with one of these programs and was amazed each week as kids who were locked inside their own bodies suddenly became mobile, communicative, filled with excitement and enthusiasm, and joy.

There’s something special, particularly about horses and girls. I understand that power on a personal level. As a girl, I traveled far more miles on horse-feet than I did on my own. In the hierarchy of neighborhood kids, we girls who had horses ranked fairly high. Wherever we went, we were always trailed by younger kids, hoping to snag a few minutes of riding time.

One of those kids one day was a little brown-haired, green eyed girl I’d never met before. I didn’t know her name, but I knew she belonged to a family who’d moved into a little rental house across the creek. I knew they kept to themselves, and the kids on the bus sometimes made fun her because her clothes didn’t always match, and her hair wasn’t always clean, and she sometimes smelled like she came from a house with too many cats and dogs trapped in it.

She started following me up and down the creek that day — the little girl from the smelly house. Finally, I asked her if she wanted a ride on the horse, and of course, she did. Every time I asked her if she was done, she said no. We rode and rode and rode until it was dark enough that I knew I needed to take the horse back to the stable and get home or my mother would have my head. I remember thinking, as I pried the little girl’s hands off the saddle and dropped her at her doorstep, that in all the time we were riding, and even now that it was getting dark, no one had come out to check on her or call her in. That seemed so unusual, so strange. She asked if I’d take her riding the next day, and I did. Eventually, she became my sidekick, my little horse-buddy, which was fun for me, because being the youngest kid in my family, I’d never had the kind of unqualified admiration that comes from being someone’s big sister.

Over time, though, I heard stories about the things that went on in that house across the creek. Back then, nobody talked about domestic violence, or alcoholism, or neglect. We didn’t hear about things like that on TV. It was the first time I was ever really aware that, right next door, or across the creek, or around the next corner, a little girl might be growing up in a house that wasn’t clean, and wasn’t quiet, and wasn’t safe.

It was the first time I realized that the world was probably full of girls who really needed a horse… and a friend.

So, there’s my dream job. My “someday” job. Big girls, and little girls, and horses, and connections. And love. At thirteen, they’re much better off finding it in a horse than a boy.

That wise old grandpa was right.

So what about you? What’s your “someday” dream job? If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?

Lisa

Find me on the internet at these links:

My website: www.Lisawingate.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/lisawingate

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Blogging Mondays at: www.SouthernBelleView.com

Read a Three chapter excerpt of Firefly Island on Lisa’s Reader’s page here: http://on.fb.me/Vj5q85

[image error]Lisa Wingate is a magazine columnist, inspirational speaker, and the author of eighteen mainstream fiction novels, including the national bestseller, Tending Roses, now in its seventeenth printing. She is a seven-time ACFW Carol award nominee, a Christy Award nominee, and a two-time Carol Award winner. She has found success in both the Christian and general fiction markets, writing mainstream fiction for Penguin Putnam and Bethany House. Recently, the group Americans for More Civility, a kindness watchdog organization, selected Lisa along with Bill Ford, Camille Cosby, and six others, as recipients of the National Civies Award, which celebrates public figures who work to promote greater kindness and civility in American life. More information about Lisa’s novels can be found at www.Lisawingate.com

Love it Forward: Day Fourteen

Image courtesy of Phaitoon

 

If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day tonight with a romantic dinner, leave a bigger tip than normal for your server, along with a note on your receipt.

 

Confused about “Love it Forward”? Read this post to get caught up and play along! 

A Love Too Big for Words

The 5-year old boy waiting for his dad at the dental office where I work dragged a chair across the reception room. He wanted an eye-to-eye chat with me at the reception counter.

“Do you know where I’m going?” he asked.

“I heard you’re going to Hawaii on vacation,” I said. His dad had called to have a tooth looked at before their departure that evening.

“Yep,” the little guy continued. “Do you know where I’m staying tonight? It’s better than a hotel!”

“Where’s that?” I felt a flutter of excitement as I anticipated his answer.

“We’re staying at Grandpa and Grandma’s!” He practically shouted.

“Wow!” I said. “That sounds like lots of fun.”

As a grandparent-to-be, I was delighted with our conversation. I could only imagine a day when our little granddaughter would be equally excited about going to her grandpa and grandma’s house.

Almost eight months ago, I officially joined the ranks of being a grandparent. Lucy Grace arrived on June 6 and our lives are forever changed. I’ll never forget my first glimpse of this precious baby girl. She looked so new and fresh, with her eyes still closed, a miniature combination of her mom’s and dad’s features. Absolutely beautiful and miraculous!

I remember the joy I felt when our two sons were born, but being a grandparent is beyond what I could have imagined. I found a newborn greeting card that really said it well…it’s a love already too big for words!

In the days following Lucy’s birth, I thought about how blessed this child is having parents who anticipated her even before she was conceived. She has two loving sets of grandparents who already adore her, several doting uncles and one aunt. Not to mention great grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, and a few “great” pets. Lucy is so loved.

If only all children born into this world could experience this kind of welcome. It has to make a difference. Children, even tiny infants, must sense that they are loved.

For Lucy, it’s only the beginning. I look forward to her growing and changing and reaching out to all of these family members. Being able to encourage and support her in becoming the beautiful woman God has created her to be, is an awesome privilege. I might just have a little more understanding of why we are called GRAND parents.

I’d love to hear about your experiences–either as new parents or grandparents!

Disappearing Dad Trick

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One Sunday morning, my husband, son, and I went over to pick up my dad for church. There we discovered that Dad had slipped out of the Board & Care during a shift change, opting to head out to church on his own. Fortunately, one of the caregivers spotted him and followed him, though she couldn’t redirect him back to the Board & Care.

On a busy street, Dad flagged down a car, hopped in, and told the driver (a stranger!) that he needed to get to church. Helpless, the caregiver hopped in with him.

In the meantime, not knowing Dad had gotten into someone’s car, we drove up and down streets, looking for him, knowing he couldn’t walk very far. Finally, we received a call that he was at church. So . . . off we zoomed to church.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t at OUR church.

An hour later, we tracked Dad down and waited outside of the church where he happened to be. Sadly, a long-winded preacher kept the congregation an extra half-hour (and, of course, Dad sat in the front row). Two nice ushers came up to us as we waited in the narthex and tried to convince us we should be attending their church. When we finally explained the situation, they gave up and walked away.

Finally, the service ended, we scooped up Dad and the caregiver, thanked the stranger who brought them to church (heaven only knows what he was thinking!), and took Dad back to the Board & Care.

We had missed church, spent nearly two hours looking for Dad, and were just exhausted. Dad had the gall to be irritated with us for taking him back to the Board & Care for lunch.

An excursion with my dad had the feeling of slamming oneself repeatedly into a brick wall.