Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 41

Thank You God for the Goodies!

When life is treating you rough it’s always a good idea to count your blessings. But in that moment it can be hard. If you are like me you start off with the easy stuff. These are the things you know you should be thankful for and may have forgotten are gifts from God: health, home, enough to eat, and clothes to wear.

The basics. Then I remember to expand my thankfulness.

I thank God for nature: rainbows, spring rains, mountains majesty, crystal lakes, spectacular fall colors and the list goes on.

I thank God for health: bodies that work, children that grow, elders with wisdom, diseases in remission, medicines to manage pain, and that list goes on.

I thank God for family and friends: relationships that encourage and inspire me, people who love and care for me, friends who make me laugh and giggle, and people given to enrich my life.

I thank God for work to do: purposes to pursue, jobs to fulfill, harvests to reap, causes to champion, and an unending array of challenges.

All these sound so grand and wonderful, and they are! But I got to thinking today there are even more reasons to give thanks. The God of the Universe loves us so much He took the time to shower everyday with treasures. I started to compile a list. These are the things that we probably don’t have a need for but make the day so much better. This is the stuff that makes life shine like a new penny (ooo there’s another one).

Hot chocolate

Lip gloss

Snowmen

Finger puppets

Love songs

Popcorn

Flip Flops

Lattes

Penny Whistles

Jump Ropes

Jelly Beans

Whoopie cushions

Fireflies

Ice sculptures

Cotton Candy

Lady Bugs

Cartoons

Taffy

Nail polish

Pinkie rings

Sand castles

Confetti

Helium Balloons

Fireworks

Nickels

Now you try.

The next time you start to count your blessings remember to think small. There are tiny bits of goodness sprinkled all over your day. The goodies from God just meant to bring a smile.

Could You Please Be Cheerful?

Can I be really, really honest?  I enjoy being around people who are usually cheerful.

I like to be with people who are smiling and who like to laugh and who have a good sense of humor.  I like to be with people who I would describe as generally happy.

So when you come up to me often all dark cloud of crabbiness or all pity party or all sad and gloomy, it makes me want to walk away.  (Does that make me sound mean or uncaring?)

Let me ask you this:  What kind of people do you like to hang out with?  Are you drawn to people who are in a bad mood?  Do you really enjoy the teacher who seems crabby all the time?  Do you look forward to hanging out with friends who feel sorry for themselves and complain on most days?

Jesus says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”  (Luke 6:31  NIV)

What mood do you want people to bring to you?

According to Jesus…

If you don’t want people to be crabby to you, then you don’t be crabby to them.
If you don’t want people to act moody around you all the time, then don’t act moody around them all the time.
If you want people to smile and be cheerful to you, then you smile and be cheerful to them.
If you don’t want people to complain to you every day, then don’t complain to them every day.

When I get dressed in the morning I stand in front of the closet for a long time.  I choose clothes based on my mood.  I have a raggedy old sweatshirt for blah days.  I have fancy clothes for when I’m feeling beautiful and like I have it all together.

My mood shows by what I wear.

It shows on my face, too, and it comes out of my mouth.

 

Maybe we should change the order of things in the morning.  Maybe we should choose our mood before we walk to the closet.  Instead of getting dressed based on how we feel, we should get dressed based on how we want other people to feel.

When Blessings Hurt

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“God, why did you let this happen?”

Those are the words we utter when we don’t understand the bad things that happen to us.

But have you ever blamed God for the good things that come your way?

When I graduated from college, getting accepted to Medical School became priority one. I enrolled in test-preparedness classes, labored over every personal essay, and then waited expectantly three different times for a positive answer that never came.

In the midst of my educational angst, my husband landed the job of a lifetime at a top-notch consulting firm in Atlanta. Traveling and working long hours became his modus operandi.  I didn’t mind because I filled my days logging volunteer hours and fulfilling a number of other civic responsibilities, in addition to my own full-time job as a child welfare member services coordinator. I was doing everything I could to present myself as an attractive candidate to medical school.

Every time I signed and sealed the application envelope, my stomach churned. Not going wasn’t an option, and every application cycle left me a little older, a little more cynical. Interviews were grueling, letters of recommendation humbling.  I trolled the message boards and followed what other people were saying about their own application journeys. Whenever I heard about someone who received an acceptance letter, my heart died a little bit. “It’s never going to happen for me,” I lamented. “Never.”

On may 27, 1999, after months of being on a waiting list, the letter I had been praying for finally arrived. “On behalf of the Mercer University School of Medicine, I am pleased to offer you a position in the Class of 2003 ….” We whooped and hollered and celebrated with a trip to our favorite restaurant.

And yet by May of 1999, I was just beginning to feel the first flutters of another kind of news.

I had recently found out that I was pregnant with our first daughter.

A double blessing, right?

Why then was I so sad?

Because I knew that I had to choose.

And that’s the thing about God. Sometimes, he lets us choose.

The acceptance letter was a definitive answer to a fervent prayer, but the timing was all wrong. In fact, the letter itself seemed to confirm what we secretly suspected all along: God isn’t participating in what happens on earth. He’s just letting everything play out like he’s not even here. The “good”, the “urgent”, and the “really, really awful” are all the same to him.

I knew I couldn’t begin medical school that fall. The baby was due September 5th, and I was expected to report for my first day on August 7th. The quick-fix answer was to request an immediate deferment. The university allowed it, and I wasted no time claiming a spot on that list. Besides, the reality was that I was looking forward to spending that time with my growing family. Those extra months would allow us to prepare ourselves up for the logistical challenges that lay ahead. What would we do about childcare and housing? How would we ensure that our marriage stayed strong during the extended absences? And what about our young daughter? Would she be resilient enough to counteract what were sure to be stressful first years?

If God had not allowed me to get into medical school or had prevented me from getting pregnant, he would have solved these two pressing, conflicting dilemmas, dilemmas disguising themselves as double blessings. I didn’t know what to do. I may never have another opportunity to go to medical school, and the baby would always be with me. Would I be resentful of my child if I didn’t pursue my dream now? I begged God to do something. Audibly. And quickly.

And yet he tarried.

In trying to discern his will for my life, I rationalized things for myself. “Perhaps God wants me to have both.”

I lamented the unfairness of it all. “I’ve been trying to get into medical school for three years, God. Why now, God? Why not three years ago?”

I begged for more time. “Just a little more time. That’s all I need. If this school wants me now, won’t they want me even more in a couple years?”

At the time, someone even said to me, “Maybe God is giving you a great gift, a blessing. He’s allowing you to be the one to choose.”

It didn’t feel like a blessing to me.

So I did what I always did.

I procrastinated.

Three hundred and sixty five days passed in no time. And when it was over, I felt no closer to a decision than I had twelve months ago. Desperate, I prayed harder.

At the last possible minute, I decided to rescind my place among the white coats.

Thirteen years have passed since I made that lonely choice, and there hasn’t been a single day when I’ve regretted it. Adjusting to motherhood did not come easy. My difficult newborn turned into a difficult toddler, and then a difficult child. Currently we are in the throes of the very difficult middle school years. It hasn’t really gotten any easier (especially after adding three more precious ones to the mix), and yet these last thirteen years have been the best years of my life.

It’s hard to measure what suffering might been prevented by virtue of the road I’ve traveled. Some couples may have been able to survive the intensity of having one spouse in medical school an hour from home and the other traveling on a weekly basis. In those early days of our marriage, I think we would have struggled. In that raw, empty space, God filled me with new dreams. He showed me things about myself that I may never have discovered—a love of cooking, of solitude, of writing.  He helped me build strong, enduring friendships with people I might have never met otherwise. Additionally, through God’s amazing grace, I’ve realized opportunities to work alongside real doctors in other venues, and that has been rewarding, too. He literally multiplied the blessings, the greatest being that I have come to understand what it really means to trust God.

Besides, I didn’t want to be a doctor because I thought it was prestigious. I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to serve others.  God blessed that desire and revealed a fullness that ensured ultimately it was his name that was blessed anyway, not mine.

Blessing Upon Blessing

I watched my son gracefully fly through the air, doing consecutive 360 degree spins off three jumps at the Canyons Resort in Park City, Utah. It was hard to believe a year ago he was wheelchair-bound after a skiing accident in Minnesota. My thoughts drifted back to the day of the accident.

The x-ray confirmed the ski patrol’s assumption, a spiral facture to the tibia and fibula. The image of my son’s right leg resembled two angled tuning forks.

“Sit down, breath, and pray,” I thought to myself.

Not life threatening, but definitely life changing for an active high school student. The treatment plan included a rod and pins as well as a lengthy recovery time. For a kid who is typically cautious, who has never even had stiches this was a traumatic event…and a painful one too.

God, of course, had everything under control. During the entire ordeal, faithful family and friends covered my son with prayer. Blessings…from his little brother who could answer all the ski patrol and EMT’s questions, the ski school director who never left his side until he was loaded into the ambulance, to Pastor Rich who came to the ER to pray, he was blanketed with prayers for healing, protection, and peace.

The surgery took place the following morning, Sunday. Our church has a tradition of written prayer requests. The petitions are read during the service and  prayed over during the week. My son was prayed for by name during his surgery at both services that morning, lifted by those who love him and those who don’t even know him.

Prayer provides peace for the people of God, providing a sanctuary in moments of fear, doubt, and crisis. Prayer also gives us the power to go on. The psalmist wrote, “The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace (Psalm 29:11 NIV). Peace is exactly what our family needed at that moment, peace through prayer. What a blessing from our mighty God.

What situation have you found yourself in lately that has made you depend upon God, his blessings and provisions?

Messing With My Blessings

All rights reserved by bryansclark

I’m a little OCD about my towels. I like them folded a certain way. Sometimes my family will bless me by doing the laundry. Often that includes the towels, which they fold and put away. They, unfortunately, are not OCD about the towels, so they are never “right”. My happiness at not having to do more laundry is short-lived as I find myself refolding them the “correct” way. After I’m done, you’d think I would feel much better but I don’t always. Sad, I know.

This past weekend there was another folding opportunity. As I was refolding the towels I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this? The towels being washed and folded is a nice blessing. It’s one less thing you need to do. But yet here you are, refolding folded towels, just because they don’t look like you want them to look.” My heart felt a little heavy as I realized that I do that with my blessings from God as well. He provides and I start messing with my blessings.

God will do something really amazing and I don’t even give it the appreciation it deserves, that He deserves. When we got my daughter’s diagnosis, I was happy, for a little while. Then I started messing.

Why didn’t I think to take her in sooner?
If only we had known this a few years back, maybe some of the stuff that has happened wouldn’t have.
I must be a bad mom to not have figured it out sooner.

I had an opportunity at my full-time job to work on an important project. It was something new and they needed to develop a subject matter expert. I was chosen to be that person. I went into it with a touch of fear mixed with the excitement of learning something new. But again, the messing with it routine began.

This is way beyond my abilities
If I don’t do well, it is going to be so embarrassing
Maybe I should just tell them I can’t do it

It’s easier than you think to second guess a gift you’ve been given. The if-onlys and what-ifs sneak in the back door and start messing with your mind and your emotions. Before long, that spills over to your reactions. Now that I realize this is happening, I want to stop it. Now. So I’m revisiting the verse (Philippians 4:8) tells me to think and meditate on things that are:

True
Noble
Just
Pure
Lovely
Of Good Report
Virtuous
Praiseworthy

I’m figuring if I follow this advice, I’ll be able to stem the tide of messing with my blessings. God is so incredibly gracious and giving. I need to be gracious in my receipt of God’s blessings and giving in my praise. And I will be because of the blessing of His Word.

What’s Really the Problem With Your Life?

Once at home I started pulling everything from the fridge to make quesadillas.  Then I opened up the plastic rotisserie chicken container and grabbed a knife to cut into the chicken.

The chicken was deformed.  I’m not kidding.  I kept trying to cut at it, but it was like there were no chicken breasts, only strange dark meet and bones where there shouldn’t be bones.  Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen –I had to throw the whole thing away.

A few days later I was back in the supermarket deli and said, I thought maybe I should tell you that last week I bought a deformed chicken from your deli.  Had to throw the whole thing away.

She cocked her head sideways and slowly said to me, Was it upside down?

Mmmmhmm.

They were training some new help in the deli.  Evidently, the new help could not tell if a chicken was right side up either.

My grandma used to buy chickens from a farm, pluck them, and cut them up herself.  I think she might be disappointed in her granddaughter’s lack of knowledge about poultry.

Then this simple truth came to mind.  Things aren’t always as they appear.  There was nothing wrong with the chicken –only how I was looking at it.  The same is true with the sober difficulties of life.  We see them from one perspective, but God offers another.  If only someone had said to me, Hey, turn the chicken over! everything would have been different.

That’s what the Bible does for us.  We open it, and God says, Hey, look at money like this.  Look at relationships like this.  Look at your physical health like this.  Look at success like this.  Look at joy like this.  He can turn upside-down things right-side-up.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:9

What do you think God sees in your current situation?

Change Happens

I’m a person who thrives on routine. Every morning I make coffee, slip away for a few minutes of Bible study, shower and eat the same breakfast — a bowl of oatmeal with milk and walnuts. For date nights with my husband, John, I want to eat at the same restaurants. During the day, I visit the same websites, read the same blogs, interact with the same friends. And in the funny way life works, my life seems to be one of constant change. I homeschool my kids, which means new subjects and assignments daily. Under various deadlines, I write books about ever-changing topics. I can’t count on summer breaks, Saturday lazy days or even sleep.

As if that wasn’t enough, change happened when I felt drawn to launch a crisis pregnancy center. After that, my heart was tugged to lead Teen MOPS — and deal with teenage moms who are in a crisis of change in their lives! And for the last two years, our family has traveled to the Czech Republic where we taught English at a family camp. New culture, new food, new language, oh my! In fact, the only thing that hasn’t changed as my children have grown is the realization they still need me. (And I have a feeling that will never change.)

Without change always happening, I’d be happy within my four walls — left picking lint off the floor and stressing over fingerprints on the windows, which I’ve been known to do. You might think I’d be feeling a little perturbed with God by now. I mean, he made me one way and pushed me to act another by stirring my heart and my compassion. But instead of being mad, I’m thankful.

I’m happy that I’m pushed out of my comfort zone sometimes because I find God there. I discover he not only equips me and meets my needs, but he’s present through every change: comforting, guiding and encouraging me with his joy and peace.

Looking back, perhaps all these minor changes have been in preparation for the bigger ones to come. As I wrote this, my family was preparing to move 2,000 miles so my husband could accept a new job. We were also eagerly awaiting the birth of our fourth child, Alyssa.

To say our lives changed is an understatement. My youngest was in high school, and things were getting easy. But we went back to diapers, bottles and spit-up on my clothes. That summer I planned a wedding and a graduation from community college while also dealing with teething and middle-of-the-night feedings. Who would have thought?

The one question I’ve been asked is, “Why? Why did you start again when your kids can cook, clean and care for themselves?” The first (and obvious) answer is that I get to be part of a local MOPS group again! But two other answers follow: 1) John and I know there is no greater job or greater joy than raising children, and we see it as a privilege and a gift. 2) Through change God will show us his amazing ways. I’ll be changed as I change diapers.

Is change happening in your life right now? Yup, that’s to be expected. Are you eager yet scared, hopeful yet anxious? That’s understandable, too. Just remember that even though you’d rather keep everything the same, God is waiting for you — often just beyond your comfort zone. He’s there with open arms, prepared to walk with you every step of the ever-changing way.

And that’s something that will never change.

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of mrpuen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Always A Mom

Celebrating Christmas with Chris!

When I cradled my firstborn son Chris in my arms, I could barely imagine him as a toddler. It seemed even more remote that he would someday be a teen with a far-off- in-the-future graduation date (which now seems like ancient history). Even more difficult, was grasping that being a mom is a lifelong assignment—way beyond those short eighteen years when we have our children at home.

Sure, there are times when your mom-skills are more in demand. When your kids are young, it seems like you’ve signed on for a 24/7 job. You’re chronically sleep deprived and you don’t get any days off. Then there’s the reprieve of having little ones go off to school. Even though you may enjoy a few hours of freedom, their absence tugs at your heartstrings…the first time you wave good-bye when they climb on the school bus or they spend a night at their friend’s house or travel out-of-town for an athletic event. In a blink, that distant graduation date is here and now. As legions of moms who have gone before you, you learn how to let go of your almost-adult child, gently pushing them toward independence. Yet sometimes, you’re called on to step back into a role you had carefully tucked into your memory box.

Back on Duty

Last fall, Chris came to live with us after having complications from surgery. My husband Randy had accompanied him to an out-of-state specialist who was scheduled to perform the outpatient procedure. I reluctantly stayed home (a hard decision for a lifelong mom) to care for the family dogs—including Chris’ little canine. Randy’s initial report after surgery sounded positive. Chris was back at the hotel resting comfortably. Several hours later, Randy called to tell me he had taken Chris to the ER. They had admitted him to critical care for internal bleeding. I felt panic rise in my throat. “Should I come?”

Randy, who sounded shaken, tried his best to assure me. “I’m staying with Chris, so try not to worry. The doctor says he’s stable and out of danger.”

“Mom” and “worry” go hand-in-hand when a child is hurting—even one who is 40 years old. I reminded myself to trust God. When I couldn’t sleep, scriptures I had memorized when our sons were little flooded my thoughts: Trust in the Lord with all your heart… (Proverbs 3:5-6), Do not be anxious about anything…(Philippians 4:6-7). I trusted Randy to handle anything that came up. I prayed for him and Chris and thanked the Lord that he was there. Several days later, Chris was discharged from the hospital. He and his dad planned to drive to our home the next day.

The Blessing

When they arrived, Chris looked pale and fatigued. He struggled to walk from the car to the house. I tucked him into bed like I used to when he was a little boy. I kissed him on the forehead—trying not to let him see my tears. Chris felt too weak to get out of bed, so my instinctive “mom-care” kicked into high gear. “Do you want Jell-O or chocolate pudding? How about extra pillows or a heating pad?” I peeked in his bedroom door frequently to make sure he was doing O.K. Randy and I took turns sitting with Chris.

Slowly, there was progress. One day several weeks later, I came home from work to the aroma of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. Chris stood at the kitchen sink washing bowls and baking sheets. The following week, he asked Randy and me what we’d like for dinner that night. “Yay– we have a personal chef!” We felt elated to see Chris feeling better—not to mention being blessed by his culinary talents.

Three months later, Chris felt well enough to go home. Once again, I practiced those “letting go” lessons as the ache in my heart told me how much I’d miss him. Randy and I had been blessed to have Chris with us—an unexpected gift.

“Thanks for taking good care of me,” Chris said as we hugged good-bye.

How could I do anything less? It’s what moms do—not matter how old her child is.

Cause and Effect

The relationship of cause and effect is simple to demonstrate. Add an Alka-Seltzer tablet to carbonated water, and it will explode. Give two children one marshmallow, and a fight will ensue. Brake using one handlebar, and you’ll flip over your bike. These examples explain why cause and effect is often thought of as something negative. However, when it comes to our worship, it is something very positive.

Understanding why we worship will lead to how we worship—cause and effect. If our worship is self-focused, and we are too busy thinking about our problems to focus on the Lord, our worship will not be pleasing to God. Some Sundays, I can’t seem to focus during church. The words of the worship songs don’t draw me in, and even though I’m singing the words, my mind and my heart are elsewhere. The words of the pastor enter one ear and promptly whiz through the other. Instead, I’m so focused on my problems, my schedule, my next item to check off. My heart is anywhere but where it should be during this time, which leads to me feeling far away from God, even though I just had the perfect opportunity to draw close to Him through worship.

However, if our worship is, instead, focused completely on God—his magnificence and the reverence he deserves—we will experience true worship. Next time you’re headed to church, Bible study, or anywhere that should be solely about God, take a little time beforehand to calm your mind, to give God your worries and troubles, and to lay your heart bare. Worship is just as much about the preparation as it is about the act itself because without proper preparation, the act will be stinted.

We must realize that in order to worship God as he should be worshipped, we need to take ourselves out of the equation – cause and effect.

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of posterize / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Timeless Recipe

Six of us sat around the table memorized. We strained to listen to each word not wanting to miss even a syllable being uttered by this eight-nine-year-old woman. Not only was she celebrating her birthday but she was also rejoicing in her anniversary with her husband.

  Her first anniversary!

 She had full command of her audience. An audience of married, single, divorced, and widowed woman ranging from early thirties to mid-fifties.

She had something for each of us in terms of hope and wisdom.

 We were captivated by her story. She spoke about her husband with such love, affection, and excitement! She told us how we should see him. With her eyes twinkling she said, “He’s the handsomest man. He’s just so good looking!”

“There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for that man. And there isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for me.” Mae was describing the beautiful selfless nature of their relationship. Her groom is a few years older, early nineties. (She lamented a little about not getting married sooner.)

Between her sweetie and herself I guess they have been married over a 100 years. Neither is jealous of the other’s first marriage. Mae says she knows she would have loved his wife and he-her husband. They each had a life before they met the other. They each went through the grieving process of losing a spouse.

They understand one another.                                                                                                                                                                     

 The six of us left that table a little spellbound. Each woman sifting through the words Mae had for us. Each knowing her story was meant to provide encouragement, hope, and guidance.

Understanding, selflessness, and passion what a timeless recipe for love! 

His love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1