Messing With My Blessings

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I’m a little OCD about my towels. I like them folded a certain way. Sometimes my family will bless me by doing the laundry. Often that includes the towels, which they fold and put away. They, unfortunately, are not OCD about the towels, so they are never “right”. My happiness at not having to do more laundry is short-lived as I find myself refolding them the “correct” way. After I’m done, you’d think I would feel much better but I don’t always. Sad, I know.

This past weekend there was another folding opportunity. As I was refolding the towels I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this? The towels being washed and folded is a nice blessing. It’s one less thing you need to do. But yet here you are, refolding folded towels, just because they don’t look like you want them to look.” My heart felt a little heavy as I realized that I do that with my blessings from God as well. He provides and I start messing with my blessings.

God will do something really amazing and I don’t even give it the appreciation it deserves, that He deserves. When we got my daughter’s diagnosis, I was happy, for a little while. Then I started messing.

Why didn’t I think to take her in sooner?
If only we had known this a few years back, maybe some of the stuff that has happened wouldn’t have.
I must be a bad mom to not have figured it out sooner.

I had an opportunity at my full-time job to work on an important project. It was something new and they needed to develop a subject matter expert. I was chosen to be that person. I went into it with a touch of fear mixed with the excitement of learning something new. But again, the messing with it routine began.

This is way beyond my abilities
If I don’t do well, it is going to be so embarrassing
Maybe I should just tell them I can’t do it

It’s easier than you think to second guess a gift you’ve been given. The if-onlys and what-ifs sneak in the back door and start messing with your mind and your emotions. Before long, that spills over to your reactions. Now that I realize this is happening, I want to stop it. Now. So I’m revisiting the verse (Philippians 4:8) tells me to think and meditate on things that are:

True
Noble
Just
Pure
Lovely
Of Good Report
Virtuous
Praiseworthy

I’m figuring if I follow this advice, I’ll be able to stem the tide of messing with my blessings. God is so incredibly gracious and giving. I need to be gracious in my receipt of God’s blessings and giving in my praise. And I will be because of the blessing of His Word.