Do We Ever Get Frustrated?

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We dearly love our son, but when asked by a young couple (whose child has special needs) if we ever get frustrated, we knew it was TIME FOR TRANSPARENCY!

Even after 31 years, there are great times of exhaustion and frustration in parenting or caring for one with special needs. My mom was my dad’s primary caregiver – dealing with his Alzheimer’s led her to moments of frustration. Others I know who have one or more children with special needs share that they, too, loose it. Sadly, here is what happened to me one day:

I had been listening all day….and was tired of hearing Joey’s loud screaming and vocal noises as he played his video games. I thought I could just scream – wait a minute – I did! As I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, I totally imitated him and caught him by surprise, frightening him just like he had done all day long to me. I think I caught my husband by surprise, also! Yes, I lowered myself to that behavior. I did it out of total frustration, shocking, more than surprising the two men in my life that I love more than anything!

Times like that are not nearly as often and not nearly as challenging as the early years, and perhaps nothing like you’re dealing with in your life right now. In the early days there was much to be learned, experienced, figured out, dealt with, and it’s all dumped on the “plate” of life in a huge portion! The frustration we all experience is often the accumulation of emotions and unmet expectations throughout the day and week.

Often the very love we have for our loved one urges us to stay near to them to love and care for them, so it IS normal to get frustrated – but never should we be abusive. When we get to a point of frustration, it’s time for our spouse or another person in our life, to “take over” like Joe did when he got Joey ready for bed that night. We have learned the “dance” that works for us. I hope you will find the “dance” that works for you so that your loved one (and YOU) remains well cared for – and well loved!