Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 51

How Can Mindfulness Help in Saving Money?

Q: So, how should we behave with regards to, say, saving money or buying a property?

Todd Answers: When we are fully present, we make smarter decisions because we are not off somewhere else. Saving money, investing money, and working towards some goal, all happen in the here and now. When we give this moment our full attention, we naturally create a better future. Like a squirrel who gathers nuts for the winter, we too know instinctually without thinking that we need to save money, we need to acquire a certain amount of resources to live well, and we need to spend wisely.

If we live in the future, we can neglect our duties of the moment. We still need to use the time to schedule future meetings, make plans, etc… But we don’t need to let time use us and make us miserable or obsess about the past and future to the point that we miss out on the present.

And when we do it properly, we make plans with presence, we schedule future appointments with mindfulness, and in this way, we don’t sacrifice the present for tomorrow.

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Can People in War-Torn Countries Experience Inner Peace?

Q: How would someone, say in Ukraine at this time, for example, freezing no water no food, no home, how can they feel they are exactly where they should be? These concepts escape me, is our moment of suffering ordained?

Todd Answers: With our physical needs unmet, we will not even be alive to enjoy having our spiritual needs met. Physical needs must always take precedence. However, there are Buddhist monks who set themselves on fire without making a sound. Their world is literally burning all around them and yet they maintain their peace. 

No matter what is taking place around us, there are infinite ways to look at our circumstances. The most healthy and beneficial way is to face what comes with presence and peace. Stress, anxiety, and despair always make the situation worse. I hope for people in war zones everywhere can always have the awareness of the deep peace within themselves.

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How to Love Yourself Before you Love Others

Q: I feel so frustrated, I know how to guide, love, & support everyone except myself. It’s all so overwhelming because I just don’t know how to make that connection. Any advice?

Todd Answers: You sound like a very caring and nurturing soul. Oftentimes, the nurturers put so much guilt on themselves for taking some time to recharge and for self-care. Loving others really do need to start with loving ourselves.

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we have. And if we become drained and exhausted from self-critical negativity, we are no use to anyone else.

You have my 100% permission to take some time every day to support yourself. Meditate, notice your thoughts, bring as much awareness and attention to your thoughts as you can, and then see what happens. Usually, our greater wisdom kicks in when we turn our gaze inward. We stop needless negative thinking, we let go of traits that don’t serve us, and we speak to ourselves with the love we deserve.

Remember, people that are the most self-critical are often the kindest, most thoughtful
people on earth. So you also have my permission to go easy on yourself and not worry so much
about yourself and what you’re doing. Just listen to your heart. It always knows.

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Is it Possible to Achieve Success Without Constant Stress?

Q: I want to achieve a big success in my life but that will require a lot of competition, constant stress, and bigger responsibilities. So, will this make me unhappy?

Todd Answers: Some people are built for the competitive high-stress fast-paced lifestyle. Some people just want to be monks. Everybody is different.

I will say this though, stressful situations do not need to make us stressed. Stress only occurs when we interpret situations as stressful. If we are mindful of our thoughts and mindful of our task at hand, we will simply respond without panic or stress. All stress is an unconscious reaction to situations — often past or future situations.

But ultimately, I hope you do whatever you love, are passionate about, that suits you, and brings joy to the world. There are many ways to earn a living, and if coaching is your calling, go for it. I’ll certainly be cheering you on from the stands.

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Why my Spiritual Journey Gave me Anxiety Issues

Q: Walking in the wood I suddenly had a realization of “I am!!!” When I was in this experience it was difficult to be there as a human being and do what you are supposed to do in a situation. For this reason, I developed some anxiety around trying to not be struck by this realization of “I am”. But alas, I would be struck by the feeling, especially in social settings. My question is how this can be integrated with “there is no I”.

Todd Answers: Life is no doubt a crazy and miraculous mystery. There is the infinite eternal oneness, and then we have these bodies that have to interact with the practical world of time and place. Sometimes we can feel like aliens, especially by not being able to relate with other people who haven’t experienced this.

And so, we must master both realms. We must be able to experience that we are completely one with the universe and that we have these temporary roles and responsibilities to fulfill. It’s really a matter of one foot in the pool and one foot out. And, finding comfort and peace in both.

We can both enjoy the beingness, and sometimes, be while taking action. It’s about flowing with whatever situation arises with the skill of mindfulness. Being totally mindful of our situations takes us out of our heads, out of anxiety, and into the present moment. Being fully present lets us remove any worries and doubts, and being mindful of our own anxieties helps us recognize them and then we can choose to either listen to them or ignore them. The choice is always ours.

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Do I have to Live a Life That Others Project on me?

Q: There are distractions like the war in Ukraine or famine in a neighboring country, in my case Afghanistan, and people who are just trying to own more and more. I have a family to support and a job that I need just to survive. I understand that those are external stuff but they affect my relationships – I am becoming very distant from everybody, and my productivity at my job is suffering because of anxiety and lack of focus. 

I want to do what I think is right, which contradicts most of the concepts that in turn, hurt people around me. I have a family and kids. I sometimes feel like I need to leave all. So, my question is if it’s a temporary experience, do I have to live the life that people around me project me to do? The people around me do not want to accept the REAL REALITY (that is still to be discovered infinitely) and just go back to business as usual and It hurts me. What is it – dictating to others what to do?

Todd Answers: I think a lot of people feel that way.

Ultimately, whether its war, famine, civil unrest, or even grueling away at jobs we don’t like or dealing with family pressures, it all goes back to the same cause: our inner conflict.

Yes, we have responsibilities we have to deal with. Yes, we have things we need to be aware of and prepared for. Yes, there is a great deal of suffering in the world. So the mindful thing to do would be to act without resisting what is happening, take on each task one at a time, and make every activity into a meditation.

In this way, we won’t carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Only carry this moment at this time. The more we practice this, the more we can change our lives towards what we wish them to be, with presence and clarity, and compassion, and without any discontent or hatred. With presence, each moment is just another moment, and we can accept it and then move on to the next moment. And through presence, contemplation, and reflection, all the answers will present themselves. You’ll be surprised how your little changes can change everyone around you.

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If There’s no Purpose to Our Lives, Why are we Living?

Q: I find myself depressed because of the realization that is no true meaning or purpose to our lives. Everything is neutral until we assign it meaning. Therefore everything is pointless, without purpose, including suffering and pain, including love and joy. Can you help me reframe this?

Todd Answers: That is perfectly normal to question purpose and meaning. Our thinking minds are incredible analytical machines. They want to put every experience into a box to try and understand and make some kind of order out of the events in our lives.

But it is always this thinking mind when run amok, that causes these problems. When out of control, when thinking without focus or intention, our minds create problems. When we develop presence through practice, we will see and appreciate beauty, we will find it everywhere, and we will be filled with feelings of gratitude, love, and peace. Only the thinking mind wants more, wants answers, wants what it can’t have. If we shift from thinking to awareness, we find that meaning is in every moment but that it is us who create it.

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Why Does Meditation Bring up Pain and Negative Emotions in me?

Q: Sometimes I wish I never started meditation. It brings up tremendous pain. Any advice?

Todd Answers: Most of our lives are spent suppressing or repressing painful emotions. Nearly everything we do is a distraction or way to avoid what we’re feeling. When we start a spiritual practice, it can take a while for all those painful feelings to be sorted and processed.

But, if we don’t heal them, we pass our hidden pain onto our neighbors, coworkers, family, and children. And, it festers in our bodies, turning into disease and more pain. I hope you can find a safe and healthy way to allow these feelings to express themselves.

Usually, the answer when we see something we don’t like is to look deeper. It’s not easy, but this is the only way we can realize what we’re trying to run away from is not as scary as we thought.

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Path to Peace What Makes a Good Life?

The question, “What makes a good life?” has plagued philosophers and intellectuals for millennia. It is one of, if not the most important question for our species.

Everything we do is driven by our desire for a good life. And yet, despite doing our best to have a good life, we're often left feeling unhappy and dissatisfied.  If we give in to every urge and impulse, we may find ourselves sick and miserable. If we resist every desire for pleasure, we may feel fit but mentally deprived. 

So what is the balance? What is the actual secret to a good life? Why has the answer to this question been so elusive? And most importantly, why does doing the things we think would lead to a good life, often leave us more miserable than we were before? I answer these and many more questions in this important podcast episode.

Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

If you have enjoyed listening to the podcast, please share a review. It will help many others find their Path to Peace as well.

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Path to Peace How Can I Reinvent Myself?

Only when we are not living completely authentically, and only when we misidentify with our mind-made versions of ourselves, can we wish to reinvent ourselves. The real question is, “How can I live more in line with my inner nature?”

We all know the experience where we are so in our head, planning and plotting what to say or how to act, that we become insecure. When we become insecure, we're not being true to ourselves. Instead, we are living in fear of what we will say and how it will be perceived. The key to being natural, being magnetic, and being charismatic, is when we remove that pressure from ourselves and when we can relax and just be.

In this episode, I share some secrets on how we can become the best version of ourselves. By being mindful, instead of being fearful, we can instinctively and effortlessly respond to any situation in the way that specific moment calls for — not some imagined moment because we're too in our head to be fully present.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

If you have enjoyed listening to the podcast, please share a review. It will help many others find their Path to Peace as well.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/ToddPerel

Support the show

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your daily dose of positivity here:
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/toddperel
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toddperelmuter
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toddperel
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@toddperel

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